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Pre-GA tip

[edit]

I would advise that you ask for a read-through by a professional English user. See for instance Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors. Some sentences seem a little off.

  • "That is where many of her portraits now reside". Do portraits reside?
  • Re: "colored garment (a gákti) that was earlier hindered by pastor Lars Levi Laestadius's violent branch of Laestadianism, and increased in popularity in the 1840s", is violent the right word choice? The run-on "and" does not seem right either, it should probably be a "but"?
  • "After the conference, the magazine Idun said the paintings were of" - do magazines say, do they write, or do people write in magazines?
  • Also, are Thorkild Jonassen and Thorkel Jonassen the same person?

Geschichte (talk) 21:57, 16 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

WP:SOFIXIT. Contributing to a backlogged project after their most prolific editor and genius died seems like a waste of time especially when the issues you point out are minor. Paintings can reside in a place, so why couldn't a portrait? Have you read the chapter to see if "violent" is correct? (It explicitly connects it to a riot and frames it that way.) You can change the verb "said", I don't recall the chapter giving an author so I can't add that at the moment. I'll check the spelling of Jonassen later. These are trivial prose issues that are expected to be cleared up in a competent review, so delaying it for probably weeks seems misguided. Urve (talk) 01:58, 17 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
So you mean it's my job to fix something that you nominated for GA? I take it that someone else is going to clear them up when the GA review comes, too? As for copyediting, GAN is backlogged as well, and I only meant something of the sort (cf. "for instance"), and I don't know anything about deaths. Geschichte (talk) 08:40, 17 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
No, but I do mean that it's as quick to fix some things as it is to write out an explanation for why it isn't working. I just don't see the value in GOCE now; at least (edit: one) of these issues wouldn't be fixable from many copy editors, since it deals with content (whether violence is accurate, which I'll come back to). You're not obligated to do anything, and I appreciate what you did change - I just think the suggestion to send it to another project before I send it to the backlogged GAN is untenable at scale (and of course, any feedback from GAN is my own obligation to fix). As for deaths, see Wikipedia:Deceased Wikipedians/2021 - much too soon. Urve (talk) 13:25, 17 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thorkild is a different person according to the source. Some portraits are ascribed to specific individuals, such as Thorkild Jonassen or Daniel Mortensen. but The artist would produce at least three separate portraits of Thorkel Jonassen
The Sámi lawyer Ánde Somby has noted that green-colored gákti, which became discouraged under the strict fundamentalist sect of Christianity under the aegis of Lars Levi Laestadius, exploded in popularity among the Sámi after the 1840s. For many in the Nordic countries, Laestadianism was explicitly connected to an infamously violent episode of Sámi-Norwegian history: the Guoavdageaidnu/Kautokeino Rebellion of 1852. -- I changed it to fundamentalist for redundancy in the following sentence but I think violent is correct.
Attributed writer, some flow changed. A copy edit would probably have changed Thorkild's name. Urve (talk) 15:35, 17 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Astri Aasen/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Eviolite (talk · contribs) 01:46, 3 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Hi, I'll take a look at this one today or tomorrow. eviolite (talk) 01:46, 3 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Here are my notes:

  • Sourcing is good.
    • Thank you
  • Alfsen source gives specific birth and death date (3 Sep 1875-10 Oct 1935), this should probably be incorporated (unless there are weird date-format issues)
    • Thanks, didn't notice that. I used Pushaw as the outline here and for some reason he does not give the dates.
  • Is there a particular reason why the current name "Trondheim" is not given (as the sources seem to use it), or just that the names are similar enough?
    • I remember that there is at least one source that spells it this way, but since it's not Pushaw (probably the most authoritative source on her life), I've changed it back to Trondheim.
  • Looking at source [2], it says that her father went bankrupt in 1887, not died; I don't speak Norwegian but it says I 1887 gikk faren konkurs and it seems konkurs has no definition besides "bankrupt". On the other hand it says her two older sisters died when she was 17, which may warrant inclusion.
    • Not sure where this comes from, thanks. I've removed it and added the information about her sisters. The bankruptcy doesn't seem to matter, but it can be added in if you'd like.
  • The source also seems to say she began painting in Bergen (even though she was a retoucher in Alesund) - probably warrants clarification.
    • Unfortunately, this is all I can find. I've added a bit that she learned in Bergen, and clarified the chronology
  • In Aasen's portrait, Finskog wears a green dress—a colored garment (a gákti) that was earlier hindered by pastor Lars Levi Laestadius's fundamentalist branch of Christianity (Laestadianism), though they increased in popularity in the 1840s Hindered in what way? It might just be my reading but it makes it sound like that specific dress was hindered. This sentence also feels a bit unwieldy, but I'm not sure how to rectify that.
    • which became discouraged under ... Laestadius says Pushaw, so I'm not sure. I've made some adjustments for flow, hopefully it's better
  • Who said "passive participants", Pushaw or Lindholm?
    • Pushaw, changed
  • Are there any substantial details about any of Aasen's other paintings?
    • Nothing that I have been able to find - almost everything seems to be a basic overview of her life, or as in the case of Pushaw, about her relationship to the Sámi congress. The bit about geometric shapes is as far as I can get. Here's a beautiful photo for you, though, since I can't find much else :/
  • "Following the event" - which event?
    • Congress, changed

Otherwise, the article is interesting and reads pretty well. I've made some minor copyedits as well, feel free to revert if they're not an improvement. @Urve: Placing on hold pending the above. eviolite (talk) 02:38, 3 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much, Eviolite. Responded inline above. Urve (talk) 03:14, 3 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the edits; I'm satisfied with the changes (after two minor grammatical changes) and am happy to promote this to GA. Great work! eviolite (talk) 03:19, 3 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]