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Talk:Grave monument from Kallithea

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2017 comment

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Hi Cameron! Glad you were able to find some stuff on this grave monument. One important thing to remember with your citations: you need to cite the author of that specific chapter within the book (Miles is the editor, not the author of that chapter). Jpaga (talk) 16:02, 2 November 2017 (UTC) Prof. Paga[reply]

Hey Cameron. This is Ryan Muro and I am peer-reviewing your wiki article. Overall it was really well done. I made some grammatical edits but I think the overall content is good. The article relates to our group theme and it is written in an encyclopedic way. Maybe one thing I would add is a definition for conspicuous consumption. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ryan muro (talkcontribs) 21:58, 6 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sunni's Comment

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Hi Cameron, this article looks good so far! I'm interested in the 3 statues inside of the small temple that you mentioned, can you go into more detail about them artistically? I liked that you compared it to other monuments of this era, but maybe try and find another specific monument that would be comparable to this one. I hope you are able to find more sources for this monument, but your progress looks good! Sunniobrien (talk) 16:34, 14 November 2017 (UTC)Sunni O'Brien[reply]

Comments from Prof. Paga

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Hi Carson - this is a solid start! I have a few additional comments that will help improve the article, and the comments from your peer-reviewer Ryan and from Sunni are also good to take into account.

  • Add hyperlinks to other Wikipedia articles, and an image if you can find one within copyright
  • You say that the "monument has noticeably aged" but then later that it "is in good condition" - which is it? This is confusing.
  • In the "Comparison" section, the chronology is confused. The Kallithea monument is from the early Hellenistic period, not the Classical period, but it predates the sumptuary reforms of Demetrios of Phaleron. You'll need to clean up this section to avoid confusion (check Chpt. 13 and 14 in our textbook).
  • A good comparison grave monument is the Nereid Monument. Check out its Wikipedia article for a good model of how to write about these grave monuments. You might also get in touch with Elizabeth Dowker in your group. She's writing on the tombs at Xanthos (the Nereid Monument is one of the Xanthos tombs), so you might be able to share resources with her and tie your two articles together more.
  • As I mentioned earlier in the semester, you need to be precise with your citation. You've cited the whole book, edited by Miles, but you need to cite only the single chapter, written by someone else. Make sure to clarify this because citations are very important on Wikipedia!

Jpaga (talk) 15:05, 21 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]