Talk:James Squire
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Expansion
[edit]Great work in improving this article. I can't comment much on the article's comprehensiveness, so the only suggestions I have relate to structure. There are probably too many headings for the size of the article; you might like to work on rationalising those, or re-sectioning the prose. Also, in a few places there very short paragraphs; you could try amalgamating or bulking these up – though not at the expense of accuracy, of course. The lead could probably also be added to. Finally, it's best to avoid external links in the prose.--cj | talk 01:51, 21 July 2007 (UTC)
Nice article
[edit]It's good to come upon such a well sourced and well written article - and amazing to see it has been done by one person. There are a number of areas that need tidying up. The tone is rather informal for an encyclopedia. I faced this problem myself last year when uploading articles I had written elsewhere onto Wiki - [[Cask ale] is one that springs to mind. I started to tidy it, but it's a big job and entails going through the whole article line by line. I'll put up a formal tone tag and see if that will drag in some copyeditors to help. SilkTork 12:01, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
Article tone
[edit]This article is extremely thorough, but it's obvious that all the material that creates this thoroughness has been lifted in large chunks from a source, without being substantially rewritten - such as using the flowery terms of the period (that the sources were written). Could someone who has more knowledge of whatever these sources are go through and either rewrite these in original words (a good non-plagiarising approach), or at least quote the relevant passages? Jason A. Recliner (talk) 12:03, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
- Hello Mr. Recliner, can you point out some examples of flowery words please and I will see if I can go back through my year of research and re-look at what you think is so wrong about it and confirm or deny if it has been plagiarised as you have alluded to? Macr237 (talk) 12:01, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
Assessment comment
[edit]The comment(s) below were originally left at Talk:James Squire/Comments, and are posted here for posterity. Following several discussions in past years, these subpages are now deprecated. The comments may be irrelevant or outdated; if so, please feel free to remove this section.
This is a very informative article I have enjoyed reading about the history of the Beer industry and also this earliest Pioneer . |
Last edited at 02:03, 6 April 2008 (UTC). Substituted at 19:29, 29 April 2016 (UTC)
Buying the necessaries of a private.
[edit]"Buying the necessaries of a private." Can someone clarify what this is meant to mean? Jaxcab (talk) 03:48, 23 September 2016 (UTC)
Corn beer
[edit]The source given to back up the claim that "this corn based beverage does not meet the definition of beer as it exists today" is a dictionary and seems to be contradicted by the first definition: an acloholic beverage made from a cereal (maize is a cereal). There is ambiguity when it says flavered by "hops and the like". More ambiguity in second definition when it lists ingridients and ends with "etc.".
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/beer — Preceding unsigned comment added by 107.77.173.8 (talk) 01:05, 27 March 2017 (UTC)
It is also impled that the specific corn beer made by John Boston does not meet the definition of beer, but there is no mention of that in the source. Therefore the dictionary should not be used in the article to back up that claim.
The claim of "corn beer is not beer" is also contradicted by your own definition of beer — Preceding unsigned comment added by 107.77.173.8 (talk) 00:57, 27 March 2017 (UTC)
How many lashes
[edit]"one hundred and fifty (lashes of the whip) now, and the remainder when able to bear it". How big is the remainder? Or, if the total is 150 how many does he get now? Avalon (talk) 08:30, 22 May 2022 (UTC)
External links modified
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Date for growing hops
[edit]On the 'Beer in Australia' page it states "James Squire was the first to successfully cultivate hops in 1804," so the statement "Squire is credited with the first successful cultivation of hops in Australia around the start of the 19th century," could be updated to show the actual year he grew hops in 1804, though I note on the 'Beer in Australia' page that there's no link to confirm this statement.
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