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Why does the article refer to Aleph as "Hawk"? I'm aware that's the name Aleph has when you begin the game, but it's not his actual name. Referring to Aleph as "Hawk" would be like referring to Cloud from Final Fantasy VII as "Ex-SOLDIER" or something. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Serph (talk • contribs) 08:00, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
"YHWH representing not the specific Judeo-Christian god, but the source of all gods"
Can anybody confirm this?Because in everything I've seen talking about the matter,YHWH IS supposed to be the Judeo-Christian God.Really the whole main series seems to be attack on christianity,but that's something else all together. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 220.127.116.11 (talk) 19:06, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
", to ensure that it was interesting independently, leading character designer Kazuma Kaneko to come up with the concept of a story vaguely based on Shin Megami Tensei's future" — Improve flow: "; to ensure that it was independently interesting, lead character designer Kazuma Kaneko came up with the concept of a story vaguely based on Shin Megami Tensei's future".
Done, sort of, but the intention here wasn't to call Kaneko the design lead, but to say that these circumstances led (yep, made a typo) him to come up with that concept.
"felt cliché when looking back at the game" — Fix grammar and simplify: "felt clichéd in retrospect".
4Gamer.net (source 4) should have a language=Japanese parameter.
"demons can be encountered in these areas, too" — Minimize repetition and simplify: "demons inhabit these areas as well".
I see what you mean, but I think there is a difference in meaning there - it's not that there are demon characters in outdoor areas that is important, it's that the player will fight demons outside of dungeons. Still tried to minimize repetition.
"Players are also able to speak to demons instead of fighting them" can be made more direct by losing "also".
"Demons act differently depending on what their personality is like" — Simplify: "Demons act differently depending on their personality".
"which is how the player gets stronger demons" — Improve prose: "which determines how the player comes by stronger demons".
I changed the wording slightly, not the way you suggested, as I realized that what I had written could be interpreted as "fusion is the only way to get stronger demons" (the other way is, of course, to negotiate with stronger demons and recruit them).
"They do not find him, and are later escorted by" — Improve flow: "Upon their failure to find him, they are later escorted by".
Done, although I dropped the "later".
"Aleph and Hiroko learn that the elders really are the" — Improve wording: "Aleph and Hiroko learn that the elders are actually the".
"aged unnaturally fast to take on his Messiah role" — Improve flow: "aged unnaturally fast to take on the role of Messiah".
"after which Zayin calls Aleph and Hiroko the true savior and the holy mother, and crumbles to dust" — Improve flow and prose: "after which Zayin declares Aleph the true savior, and Hiroko the holy mother, and then crumbles to dust".
"If the player instead either allies with Lucifer or stays neutral" — Improve flow: "If the player instead allies with either Lucifer or stays neutral".
Is the "either" even needed here? I opted for dropping it entirely.
"composed for by Tsukasa Masuko" — Simplify: "composed by Tsukasa Masuko".
Is this really correct? I mean, Masuko composed the soundtrack, but he did not compose the game. If I'm wrong, or if you have another suggestion, I'm happy to change it - "composed for by" does sound awkward.
"ensuring that it would be interesting independently of the first game" — Improve wording: "ensuring that it would hold interest independently of the first game".
"They made use of the tree of life as central theme of the story" — Fix grammar: "They made use of the tree of life as a central theme of the story".
@IDV: Everything looks fine. I fixed some grammar I missed and suggest that the sentence in Development be rewritten with "It was directed by Koji Okada, produced by Hideyuki Yokoyama and written by Ryutaro Ito, with the soundtrack originally composed by Tsukasa Masuko" or in a similar respect. Cognissonance (talk) 20:27, 25 October 2016 (UTC)