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[edit]

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COI edit requests for infobox and lead

[edit]

Hi! I'm a COI editor for the Ulupono Initiative through my employer, Porter Novelli. Requesting some updates to this article – going to break them into subsections to make sure I'm incorporating feedback as I go.

Infobox
  • Add "Investing" to the "Industry" field. UI both invests in for-profit entities and provides grants to non-profits.[1]
  • Add "Pam Omidyar[2]" as a founder.
  • Update "Key people" from
Murray Clay (President and Director of Investments), Keith DeMello (Senior Vice President of Communications and External Affairs), Mike Mohr (Board of Directors), Randy Ching (Board of Directors), Pierre Omidyar (Founder), Pam Omidyar (Founder)
to
Murray Clay (President), Keith DeMello (Senior Vice President of Communications and External Affairs), Greg Gaug (Senior Vice President of Investments and Analytics), Mike Mohr (Board of Directors)
Murray Clay's title is just "President",[3] Randy Ching is not on the board of directors,[4] and Pierre and Pam are already named in the "founders" parameter. I also added Greg Gaug[5] since it felt odd to list one SVP and not the other.
  • Delete the "Services" parameter, which is redundant of "Industry".
  • Delete "| owner = Pierre Omidyar"; per the organization, UI is a venture of The Omidyar Group.[6]
  • Update the "parent" parameter from "Omidyar Network" to "The Omidyar Group[6]".
Lead
  • Delete "(Ulupono) " in the opening sentence. This is an oddly coded external link to Google search results. (If this is somehow MoS-compliant, please let me know; I've never seen anything like it before.)
  • Update "Hawai‘i-based organization" to "Hawai‘i-based and -focused organization[1]" to reflect how the org's activities are focused in Hawai‘i.
  • Update
uses non-profit grants and conducts advocacy with the stated goals of more local food; increasing clean renewable energy; and reducing waste.
to
uses impact investing,[7] non-profit grant-making, and advocacy[1] with the stated goals of promoting local food production, renewable energy, environmentally friendly transportation, and better management of freshwater resources.[7]

References

  1. ^ a b c Sweeney, Erica (23 April 2021). "How Honolulu's Ulupono Initiative is helping Hawaii fight hunger, invest in clean transportation and housing, and become carbon neutral by 2045". Business Insider. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  2. ^ Kaya, Travis (5 August 2010). "Omidyars join others in donation pledge". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  3. ^ "Murray Clay". Ulupono Initiative. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  4. ^ "Our Team". Ulupono Initiative. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  5. ^ "Greg Gaug". Ulupono Initiative. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  6. ^ a b "FAQs". Ulupono Initiative. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  7. ^ a b Fujii-Oride, Noelle (5 January 2021). "Investing in People, Companies and the ʻĀina". Hawaii Business Magazine. Retrieved 24 August 2023.

Thank you for your help! Mary Gaulke (talk) 15:09, 27 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reply 28-SEP-2023

[edit]

🔼  Clarification requested  

  1. Please provide the Wikilinks for the individuals placed in the infobox's |key people= parameter. With such a large group assorted there, I'm going to ask that they be independently notable. Otherwise, the infobox is WP:NOTADIRECTORY of non-notable individuals.
  2. Please provide a Wikilink for the item requested to be placed in the |founder= parameter. As there is only one individual proposed to be added to this section, and because a founder is by itself an important position, adding the name would be acceptable even if there were no Wikilink available. Please advise either way.
  3. The proposed lead sentence contains the claim "with the stated goals" but then does not place those "stated" goals in quotation marks. Please alter the proposed text to include these.
  4. The proposed update to the |industry= parameter (investing) is not Wikilinked in the proposal.
  5. The updated |parent= parameter (the Omidyar Network to Group) is not Wikilinked (the "Group" isn't). Is there a difference between these two entities? If one is identical to the other (as shown through provided references) then it is acceptable to Wikilink the new name through a piped link to the older name.
  6. Please provide clarification for all of this in a new edit request below this reply post.

Regards,  Spintendo  22:44, 28 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

revised COI edit requests for infobox and lead

[edit]

Hello – the requests below are updated per the feedback above.

Infobox
  • Add "Investing" to the "Industry" field. UI both invests in for-profit entities and provides grants to non-profits.[1]
  • Add "Pam Omidyar[2]" as a founder, so that both she and Pierre Omidyar are listed. Note no wikilink is available for Pam's name.
  • Update "Key people" from
Murray Clay (President and Director of Investments), Keith DeMello (Senior Vice President of Communications and External Affairs), Mike Mohr (Board of Directors), Randy Ching (Board of Directors), Pierre Omidyar (Founder), Pam Omidyar (Founder)
to
Murray Clay (President)
Murray Clay's title is just "President",[3] and Pierre and Pam are already named in the "founders" parameter. Other leadership I'm guessing is not notable to include per the above.
  • Delete the "Services" parameter, which is redundant of "Industry".
  • Delete "| owner = Pierre Omidyar"; per the organization, UI is a venture of The Omidyar Group.[4]
  • Update the "parent" parameter from "Omidyar Network" to "The Omidyar Group[4]". Omidyar Network is a different subsidiary of the Omidyar Group.[5] The Omidyar Group does not have its own article and so is not wikilinked.
Lead
  • Delete "(Ulupono) " in the opening sentence. This is an oddly coded external link to Google search results. (If this is somehow MoS-compliant, please let me know; I've never seen anything like it before.)
  • Update "Hawai‘i-based organization" to "Hawai‘i-based and -focused organization[1]" to reflect how the org's activities are focused in Hawai‘i.
  • Update
uses non-profit grants and conducts advocacy with the stated goals of more local food; increasing clean renewable energy; and reducing waste.
to
uses impact investing,[6] non-profit grant-making, and advocacy[1] with the stated goals of "increasing the amount of locally produced food, renewable energy and clean transportation, and improving water and waste management."[6]

References

  1. ^ a b c Sweeney, Erica (23 April 2021). "How Honolulu's Ulupono Initiative is helping Hawaii fight hunger, invest in clean transportation and housing, and become carbon neutral by 2045". Business Insider. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  2. ^ Kaya, Travis (5 August 2010). "Omidyars join others in donation pledge". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  3. ^ "Murray Clay". Ulupono Initiative. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  4. ^ a b "FAQs". Ulupono Initiative. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  5. ^ "Organizations". The Omidyar Group. Retrieved 4 October 2023.
  6. ^ a b Fujii-Oride, Noelle (5 January 2021). "Investing in People, Companies and the ʻĀina". Hawaii Business Magazine. Retrieved 24 August 2023.

Thank you again. Mary Gaulke (talk) 16:50, 4 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reply 4-OCT-2023

[edit]

✅  Edit request implemented  

  • Additional changes made:
  1. Several instances of unreferenced text were either deleted or given {{citation needed}} inline maintenance templates.
  2. A {{citation style}} maintenance template was affixed to the article.
  3. The Wikilinks of two individuals affiliated with the subject organization who were erroneously placed under the External links section were either deleted (because they already appeared elsewhere in the article) or moved to the article where one of the names is mentioned in the article's prose.[a]
  • Additional considerations:
  1. The article's lead section contains ref notes, which ideally should not appear there. These ref notes ought to be located within the main body of the article, per WP:CITELEAD.

Notes

  1. ^ If either of those Wikilinked names had not been mentioned in the article, they ought to have been placed in a See also section rather than the External links section, per MOS:SEEALSO.

Regards,  Spintendo  20:00, 4 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

COI edit requests for Overview, Policy, Investment portfolio

[edit]

Hi! As noted above, I'm a COI editor for Ulupono with some requests:

Ulupono overview
  • "Activities" might be a better, more specific name for this section, per MOS:SECTIONSTYLE.
  • Update
Starting in 2020, Ulupono has shifted its focus from financial investments to policy/advocacy due to its lack of successful investments.
to
Ulupono initially focused entirely on investments and grants; over time, the organization has begun engaging in more policy advocacy.[1]
I could not find any sources confirming the 2020 date or the link to a "lack of successful investments". The closest source I could find, used above, is based on a direct quote from UI's president, so it may be WP:PRIMARY. If this doesn't qualify, I suggest deleting the sentence entirely.
  • Update
Ulupono previously conducted for-profit investments including; solar energy, biofuels, electric vehicle charging networks, expanded local agriculture such as re-establishing homegrown dairy and grass-fed beef industries, and waste reduction projects.
to
Ulupono has conducted for-profit investments in areas including solar energy,[2] biofuels,[3] electric vehicle charging networks,[4] expanded local agriculture such as re-establishing homegrown dairy[5] and grass-fed beef industries,[6] and waste reduction projects.[7]
Added citations. Past tense seems inappropriate here given that post-2020 sources like this one[8] still refer to Ulupono's investing in the present tense.
  • Delete
Ulupono had typically focused on several investments each year of $1 million to $3 million in key mission-focused projects, while often seeking a governance role as part of its investment terms.
I simply could not find a WP:RS verifying any of this.
  • Delete
Of Ulupono's 57 investments since inception, 2 (Clearfuels and Volta) has brought more cash inflow than outflow (3.5%).[9] Total investment inflow is $14M and outflow is $66M, leading to a heavy loss for the company, which was then used as business loss to reduce Pierre Omidyar's tax liability.[10]
If I'm not mistaken, this is interpretation of a primary source, per WP:OR. I also can't find any connection between Ulupono's finances and Pierre Omidyar's tax liability in a reliable source.
  • Update
Current leadership includes Murray Clay starting in 2011 and Amy Hennessey starting in 2012.
to
Current leadership includes Murray Clay, the organization's president.[1]
Hennessey is no longer with the organization.[11]
Policy
  • This section has just one paragraph. I suggested adding it to the previous section, eliminating this section entirely.
Investment portfolio
  • Add citation after "SolarCity": [12]
Sources

  1. ^ a b "LEADERS Interview with Murray Clay, President, Ulupono Initiative". LEADERS Magazine. July 2022. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  2. ^ "Hawaiʻi's first two community-owned solar projects coming to Molokaʻi". Maui Now. 12 January 2023. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  3. ^ "Hawaii biofuels company gets investment". VC Star. 14 July 2010. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  4. ^ "Hawai'i Energy and Ulupono Offer Incentive for Electric Car Charging Stations". Maui Now. 1 February 2019. Retrieved 24 August 2023.
  5. ^ "Ulupono Investing $17.5M in Hawaii Dairy Venture". Dairy Herd Management. Associated Press. 3 December 2013. Retrieved 5 October 2023.
  6. ^ Shimogawa, Duane (21 March 2014). "Parker Ranch, Omidyar's Ulupono Initiative partner on expansion of Hawaii's beef market". Pacific Business News. Retrieved 5 October 2023.
  7. ^ "Ulupono Joins BioEnergy Hawaii On Puuanahulu Waste Project". Big Island Video News. 20 May 2015. Retrieved 5 October 2023.
  8. ^ Cite error: The named reference Sweeney was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  9. ^ "Ulupono Initiative Investor Profile: Portfolio & Exits | PitchBook". pitchbook.com. Retrieved 2021-04-15.
  10. ^ "Ulupono Initiative Investor Profile: Portfolio & Exits | PitchBook". pitchbook.com. Retrieved 2021-04-15.
  11. ^ Cite error: The named reference team was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  12. ^ "Ulupono Initiative investing in SolarCity projects in Hawaii". Pacific Business News. 18 September 2012. Retrieved 24 August 2023.

Thanks for your time! Mary Gaulke (talk) 12:06, 5 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reply 5-OCT-2023

[edit]

✅  Edit request implemented    Spintendo  22:00, 5 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

COI edit requests for Controversies section

[edit]

Hi again! This is the last batch of COI edit requests I have to share for this article, for the Controversies section.

  • Update
Honolulu-based Ulupono received $875,000 in state tax credits under a 2008 law that created incentives for landowners to preserve prime farmland for agricultural use in perpetuity. Ulupono said in a written statement that it is disappointed that Hawaii Dairy Farms didn’t succeed but that the tax credit program provided an incentive to take on risk with the project it estimated would cost $17.5 million.[1][2]
to
Citing regulatory challenges, Ulupono announced in January 2019 that it would discontinue planning for Hawaii Dairy Farms, a proposed 557-acre dairy farm in Mahaulepu Valley, Kauai.[3] Honolulu-based Ulupono had received $875,000 in state tax credits designed to encourage landowners to preserve farmland for agricultural use. Ulupono said that the tax credit program allowed the organization to take on risk, with a total estimated project cost of $17.5 million.[4]
Fleshed out a bit with detail from sources and matched the sources to the info.
  • Update
Ulupono is the majority owner of the Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning project after having made an initial investment on August 5, 2013[5] and forcibly buying out most of the remaining shareholders. The proposed $250 million project was appropriated State of Hawaii government backed Special Purpose Revenue Bonds in 2005 of up to $48 million[6] with extensions in 2010[7] and 2015;[8] in 2007 of up to $20 million[9] with an extension in 2012;[10] and in 2009 of up to $77 million[11] with extensions in 2014[12] and 2019[13] (expiration in June 30, 2024) after consistently not completing the project in time. The Hawaii State Legislature did not renew the Special Purpose Revenue Bond allocation from 2005 in the 2020 legislative session. On December 19, 2020, Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning announced it was abandoning its development efforts and would wind down its operations by the end of January 2021, citing "financial sustainability could not be assured".[14] "Two years ago officials told Pacific Business News they had finalized a deal with the state to cool seven state office buildings and the state Capitol and said they expected to break ground in late 2019, but that never happened".[15] Murray Clay, Ulupono’s president and a Honolulu Seawater board member, said the decision to call off the project was not easy. "Letting go of our dream is not easy," he said in a statement. "Despite all of the environmental benefits and the project’s ability to help move our state toward greater energy self-sufficiency, it became clear it would not have been prudent to pursue this further."[16] "Ulupono invested more than $6 million into the project".[17]
to
Ulupono first invested $1 million in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning in August 2013[18]; in November 2014, Ulupono Initiative and Capital Cooling[19] purchased a majority stake in the company.[20] Ulupono invested more than $6 million in the project. In December 2020, Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning announced it would conclude its operations by the end of January 2021,[21] citing rising construction costs.[22]
Added sources, edited to reflect the sources, removed some excess detail, and removed some WP:OR I couldn't find in reliable sources.
  • Update
In March 2017, Ulupono released its Honolulu rail system public-private partnership study that argued the City and County of Honolulu project should be restructured to a public-private partnership. Central to its findings, the P3 analysis concluded that the Honolulu Rail Transit Project remains dependent on public funding to close the $2 billion funding gap. Delays in identifying the funding source could further delay the project, potentially costing the taxpayers of Hawaii close to $114 million per year. The Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation, which was trying to get a handle on the $10 billion Honolulu proposed rail system, hired Ernst and Young Infrastructure Advisors to study whether P3 was a viable option.[citation needed]
to
In March 2017, JLL released a report commissioned by Ulupono claiming that the Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation (HART) could save up to $570 million on construction of the Skyline rail system by working with private contractors. The analysis concluded that the project remained dependent on public funding to close the $2 billion funding gap. Delays in funding could further delay the project, potentially costing the taxpayers of Hawaii up to $114 million per year.[23] In response to Ulupono's report, HART worked with Ernst & Young to investigate possible public-private funding models.[24]
Added a source, revised per the source, and removed some excess detail.
  • Delete
“Ronald Tutor, CEO of Los Angeles-based Tutor Perini Corp. disclosed in a July 29 call with investors that his construction company is part of a team that’s competing against one other joint venture for rail’s P3 award. As part of the deal, the team that’s selected would build rail’s remaining four miles and eight stations into downtown Honolulu. HART has estimated that construction work to cost around $1.4 billion. However, during the call Tutor said his company’s bid was ‘over $2 billion”.[25]
The source article doesn't mention Ulupono, nor can I identify a connection.
  • Update
The City and County of Honolulu announced on September 25, 2020 that it is pulling out of the effort to land a private-sector partner to complete construction and operate the 20-mile system during its first 30 years. Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation said they’re still trying to find a way to move forward on a process that has already taken two years.[26][27][28] Subsequently, the City and County of Honolulu announced on November 20, 2020 that it is canceling its public-private partnership efforts after two unsuccessful years. "Precisely what caused the P3 pursuit’s failure hasn’t been disclosed, although one of the companies competing for the contract shared in an earnings call this summer that its proposal was hundreds of millions of dollars more than what HART and the city had budgeted for the remaining construction. At the HART board’s meeting earlier Friday (November 20, 2020), Robbins said that HART had spent at least $10 million on outside consultant work for the now aborted P3 pursuit".[29]
to
In September 2020, the city announced it was withdrawing from the effort to land a private-sector partner on the rail project.[30] HART shared that it was canceling the public-private effort two months later.[31] An 11-mile section of the Skyline rail opened in June 2023.[32]
Fleshed out the refs and removed some excess detail, added an update with some more recent information.
  • Update
Ulupono helped found, expand, and is the Chair of the Board of Directors for Bikeshare Hawaii.[33][34] Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Biki will cut services by 60% including limiting call center hours and bike rebalancing and "without new financial support, the program may not be able to sustain itself much longer.”[35]
to
Ulupono has provided funding to Bikeshare Hawaii,[36] which runs the Biki bike-sharing program launched in 2017.[37] Biki announced in April 2021 that due to revenue lost during the COVID-19 pandemic, it would cut services by up to 60 percent.[38] By October 2021, returning tourism had led to an increase in Biki use, and the organization claimed it was able to make less deep cuts than initially anticipated.[39] Biki marked six years in operation and nearly six million rides in June 2023.[40]
Condensing a bit, adding refs, and adding more recent information.
Sources

  1. ^ No dairy farm, https://www.thegardenisland.com/2019/02/01/hawaii-news/no-dairy-farm/
  2. ^ Hawaii's Taxpayers Take Loss on Failed Kauai Dairy Plan, https://www.dairyherd.com/article/hawaiis-taxpayers-take-loss-failed-kauai-dairy-plan
  3. ^ Gomes, Andrew (1 February 2019). "Ulupono Initiative scraps plan for dairy farm on Kauai". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  4. ^ "Taxpayers take loss on failed Kauai dairy plan". AP News. 19 March 2019. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  5. ^ "$1M local investment in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". www.hawaiinewsnow.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  6. ^ "HB1238 CD1". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  7. ^ "SB2544 HD1.DOC". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  8. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  9. ^ "HB870 SD1". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  10. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  11. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  12. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  13. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  14. ^ "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". www.bizjournals.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  15. ^ "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". www.bizjournals.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  16. ^ Gomes, Andrew (2020-12-28). "Plans for seawater air conditioning in Honolulu dropped". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 2020-12-28.
  17. ^ "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". www.bizjournals.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  18. ^ "$1M local investment in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". www.hawaiinewsnow.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  19. ^ "New owners for Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". The Washington Times. Associated Press. 22 November 2014. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  20. ^ Mykleseth, Kathryn (21 November 2014). "Omidyar becomes majority investor in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  21. ^ Magin, Janis L. (19 December 2020). "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". Pacific Business News. Retrieved 18 September 2023.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  22. ^ "Hawaii Seawater Air Conditioning Plans Shut Down Over Costs". Hawai'i Public Radio. Associated Press. 29 December 2020. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  23. ^ Hill, John (21 March 2017). "Report: Rail Could Save Big With Private Financing". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 20 September 2023.
  24. ^ Honore, Marcel (15 May 2018). "Rail Leaders Look To Curb Runaway Costs With New Partners". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  25. ^ "Honolulu Rail P3 Bidder Wants More Than $2 Billion For The Final Stretch". Honolulu Civil Beat. 2020-09-18. Retrieved 2020-09-28.
  26. ^ Public-Private Partnerships: Study Examines New Options for Rail, http://ulupono.com/news_posts/public-private-partnerships-study-examines-new-options-for-rail
  27. ^ Rail Leaders Look To Curb Runaway Costs With New Partners, https://www.civilbeat.org/2018/05/rail-leaders-look-to-curb-runaway-costs-with-new-partners/
  28. ^ Honolulu Pulls Out Of Public-Private Partnership Plan For Rail, https://www.civilbeat.org/2020/09/honolulu-pulls-out-of-public-private-partnership-plan-for-rail/
  29. ^ ‘How Do We Go Forward?’ Honolulu Rail Leaders Kill P3, Confront Unknown Costs, https://www.civilbeat.org/2020/11/how-do-we-go-forward-honolulu-rail-leaders-kill-p3-confront-unknown-costs/
  30. ^ Honore, Marcel (26 September 2020). "Honolulu Pulls Out Of Public-Private Partnership Plan For Rail". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  31. ^ Honore, Marcel; Dayton, Kevin (21 November 2020). "'How Do We Go Forward?' Honolulu Rail Leaders Kill P3, Confront Unknown Costs". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  32. ^ Angueira, Gabriela Aoun (1 July 2023). "Passenger rail finally arrives in Honolulu". Grist. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  33. ^ "About us". Biki. Retrieved 2021-01-31.
  34. ^ Wu, Nina (2020-12-05). "Biki bikes costing Honolulu an estimated $460,728 in lost revenue, audit finds". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 2020-12-06.
  35. ^ "Bikeshare Hawaii to remove Biki stations, reduce services to cut costs". KHON2. 2021-04-13. Retrieved 2021-04-15.
  36. ^ Cook Lauer, Nancy (3 February 2016). "Bike-share program to provide recreation, transportation in Kailua-Kona". Hawaii Tribune-Herald. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  37. ^ Napier, A. Kam (4 August 2017). "Who's Riding Biki Bikes?". Hawai'i Public Radio. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  38. ^ "Bikeshare Hawaii to remove Biki stations, reduce services to cut costs". KHON2. 2021-04-13. Retrieved 2021-04-15.
  39. ^ Honore, Marcel (11 October 2021). "Biki Is Bouncing Back From Covid-Era Vandalism, Ridership Woes". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  40. ^ Cruz, Catherine (10 May 2023). "Bikeshare company Biki celebrates 6 years, looks ahead to Honolulu rail". Hawai'i Public Radio. Retrieved 21 September 2023.

Thanks for your time reviewing. Looking forward to your feedback! Mary Gaulke (talk) 20:49, 16 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reply 17-OCT-2023

[edit]

The reasons given for these changes needs to be more explicit. For example:

  1. " and removed some WP:OR I couldn't find in reliable sources." The statements which are purportedly OR need to be highlighted.
  2. " revised per the source, and removed some excess detail. This reason does not clarify what text is being removed or revised, nor why those revisions/removals are necessary.
  3. and removed some excess detail Why this detail needed to be removed is not given, other than that it was "excessive". Please elaborate.

Regards,  Spintendo  22:55, 17 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

revised COI edit requests for Controversies section

[edit]

Hi! Fleshing out these COI edit requests for the Controversies section per the above feedback.

  • Add to beginning of section, to set up context for the first paragraph:
Citing regulatory challenges, Ulupono announced in January 2019 that it would discontinue planning for Hawaii Dairy Farms, a proposed 557-acre dairy farm in Mahaulepu Valley, Kauai.[1]
  • Update
Honolulu-based Ulupono received $875,000 in state tax credits under a 2008 law that created incentives for landowners to preserve prime farmland for agricultural use in perpetuity. Ulupono said in a written statement that it is disappointed that Hawaii Dairy Farms didn’t succeed but that the tax credit program provided an incentive to take on risk with the project it estimated would cost $17.5 million.[2][3]
to
Honolulu-based Ulupono had received $875,000 in state tax credits designed to encourage landowners to preserve farmland for agricultural use. Ulupono said that the tax credit program allowed the organization to take on risk, with a total estimated project cost of $17.5 million.[4]
The Dairy Herd link is no longer online; digging up an archive link shows it's an AP story, so I swapped in the original AP source. This link confirms all the information, so I took out the additional source. Also did some minor copy editing for readability.
@MaryGaulke: The current and proposed text are different. The current text indicates the project failed, but the proposed text removes that distinction. "Discontinued" has a different meaning than "didn't succeed." I'm reluctant to alter this text. Why not just leave it and instead replace the source with the AP one you found? STEMinfo (talk) 23:28, 6 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
Ulupono is the majority owner of the Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning project after having made an initial investment on August 5, 2013[5] and forcibly buying out most of the remaining shareholders.
to
Ulupono first invested $1 million in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning in August 2013;[6] in November 2014, Ulupono Initiative and Capital Cooling[7] purchased a majority stake in the company.[8]
The source doesn't confirm the "forcibly buying out" claim, nor could I find a source that did. I dug up additional sources to clarify and confirm the "majority owner" claim (not confirmed by the source currently used) and revised the wording to reflect the sources.
 Done I removed the part about shareholders being forcibly bought out. I can't find anything that supports that claim either, so better to err on it not being true until a better source turns up. STEMinfo (talk) 00:02, 7 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delete
The proposed $250 million project was appropriated State of Hawaii government backed Special Purpose Revenue Bonds in 2005 of up to $48 million[9] with extensions in 2010[10] and 2015;[11] in 2007 of up to $20 million[12] with an extension in 2012;[13] and in 2009 of up to $77 million[14] with extensions in 2014[15] and 2019[16] (expiration in June 30, 2024) after consistently not completing the project in time. The Hawaii State Legislature did not renew the Special Purpose Revenue Bond allocation from 2005 in the 2020 legislative session.
If I'm not mistaken, this is WP:OR. I couldn't find RS coverage of all this information.
 Not done The sources are primary sources but they do show the bonds approved for the project. This doesn't seem like WP:OR, since the info is in the sources. Some of the links are dead, and I marked them as such, but someone else can probably fix them by looking on the web site and putting in the proper search terms. STEMinfo (talk) 00:02, 7 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
On December 19, 2020, Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning announced it was abandoning its development efforts and would wind down its operations by the end of January 2021, citing "financial sustainability could not be assured".[17]
to
Ulupono invested more than $6 million in the project. In December 2020, Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning announced it would conclude its operations by the end of January 2021,[18] citing rising construction costs.[19]
Pulled in another source and a more specific reason for the closure per the source. Also brought forward the $6 million investment mentioned later to appear chronologically.
 Done STEMinfo (talk) 01:29, 8 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delete
"Two years ago officials told Pacific Business News they had finalized a deal with the state to cool seven state office buildings and the state Capitol and said they expected to break ground in late 2019, but that never happened".[20] Murray Clay, Ulupono’s president and a Honolulu Seawater board member, said the decision to call off the project was not easy. "Letting go of our dream is not easy," he said in a statement. "Despite all of the environmental benefits and the project’s ability to help move our state toward greater energy self-sufficiency, it became clear it would not have been prudent to pursue this further."[21] "Ulupono invested more than $6 million into the project".[22]
The $6 million figure is now noted above. The other quotes, including the statement from Ulupono, strike me as more detail than is relevant or notable.
 Done Agree that this is excessive detail. STEMinfo (talk) 00:12, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
In March 2017, Ulupono released its Honolulu rail system public-private partnership study that argued the City and County of Honolulu project should be restructured to a public-private partnership. Central to its findings, the P3 analysis concluded that the Honolulu Rail Transit Project remains dependent on public funding to close the $2 billion funding gap. Delays in identifying the funding source could further delay the project, potentially costing the taxpayers of Hawaii close to $114 million per year.
to
In March 2017, JLL released a report commissioned by Ulupono claiming that the Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation (HART) could save up to $570 million on construction of the Skyline rail system by working with private contractors. The analysis concluded that the project remained dependent on public funding to close the $2 billion funding gap. Delays in funding could further delay the project, potentially costing the taxpayers of Hawaii up to $114 million per year.[23]
Added a source and revised to reflect the source accurately. Added a wiklink to the Skyline rail system.
 Done Seems better now. STEMinfo (talk) 00:12, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
The Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation, which was trying to get a handle on the $10 billion Honolulu proposed rail system, hired Ernst and Young Infrastructure Advisors to study whether P3 was a viable option.[citation needed]
to
In response to Ulupono's report, HART worked with Ernst & Young to investigate possible public-private funding models.[24]
Added a source, revised per the source, and added a wikilink to EY.
 Done Seems better now. STEMinfo (talk) 00:12, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delete
“Ronald Tutor, CEO of Los Angeles-based Tutor Perini Corp. disclosed in a July 29 call with investors that his construction company is part of a team that’s competing against one other joint venture for rail’s P3 award. As part of the deal, the team that’s selected would build rail’s remaining four miles and eight stations into downtown Honolulu. HART has estimated that construction work to cost around $1.4 billion. However, during the call Tutor said his company’s bid was ‘over $2 billion”.[25]
The source article doesn't mention Ulupono, nor can I identify a connection.
 Done: Removed this section as it is a copyright violation of the source - independent of your reasoning (not that it isn't valid, but this is a prima facie case of copyvio). Eteethan (talk) 07:34, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
The City and County of Honolulu announced on September 25, 2020 that it is pulling out of the effort to land a private-sector partner to complete construction and operate the 20-mile system during its first 30 years. Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation said they’re still trying to find a way to move forward on a process that has already taken two years.[26][27][28]
to
In September 2020, the city announced it was withdrawing from the effort to land a private-sector partner on the rail project.[29]
Shifted to past tense and removed extra citations. Condensed some detail (i.e. the hypothetical partner's expected role) that doesn't seem relevant to Ulupono. Removed the final sentence since it has been superseded by subsequent updates, below.
 Done STEMinfo (talk) 19:23, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
Subsequently, the City and County of Honolulu announced on November 20, 2020 that it is canceling its public-private partnership efforts after two unsuccessful years. "Precisely what caused the P3 pursuit’s failure hasn’t been disclosed, although one of the companies competing for the contract shared in an earnings call this summer that its proposal was hundreds of millions of dollars more than what HART and the city had budgeted for the remaining construction. At the HART board’s meeting earlier Friday (November 20, 2020), Robbins said that HART had spent at least $10 million on outside consultant work for the now aborted P3 pursuit".[30]
to
HART shared that it was canceling the public-private effort two months later.[31]
The lengthy quote from the source seems unnecessary.
 Done STEMinfo (talk) 19:23, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add an update with the most recent information immediately after the text from the previous bullet:
An 11-mile section of the Skyline rail opened in June 2023.[32]
 Done STEMinfo (talk) 19:23, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
Ulupono helped found, expand, and is the Chair of the Board of Directors for Bikeshare Hawaii.[33][34]
to
Ulupono has provided funding to Bikeshare Hawaii,[35] which runs the Biki bike-sharing program launched in 2017.[36]
Swapped in a source that clarifies Ulupono's relationship to Bikeshare Hawaii, and added a brief description of what the organization does for clarity. (In the current article, the next sentence mentions Biki without defining it.)
 Done STEMinfo (talk) 19:16, 10 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Update
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Biki will cut services by 60% including limiting call center hours and bike rebalancing and "without new financial support, the program may not be able to sustain itself much longer.”[37]
to
Biki announced in April 2021 that due to revenue lost during the COVID-19 pandemic, it would cut services by up to 60 percent.[38]
Switched to past tense and removed unnecessary quote.
 Partially Done: Cleaned up the section and reworded.Eteethan (talk) 07:40, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
 Done STEMinfo (talk) 19:16, 10 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add more recent information immediately after the text from the previous bullet, to the end of the section:
By October 2021, returning tourism had led to an increase in Biki use, and the organization claimed it was able to make less deep cuts than initially anticipated.[39] Biki marked six years in operation and nearly six million rides in June 2023.[40]

 Done STEMinfo (talk) 19:16, 10 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Sources

  1. ^ Gomes, Andrew (1 February 2019). "Ulupono Initiative scraps plan for dairy farm on Kauai". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  2. ^ No dairy farm, https://www.thegardenisland.com/2019/02/01/hawaii-news/no-dairy-farm/
  3. ^ Hawaii's Taxpayers Take Loss on Failed Kauai Dairy Plan, https://www.dairyherd.com/article/hawaiis-taxpayers-take-loss-failed-kauai-dairy-plan
  4. ^ "Taxpayers take loss on failed Kauai dairy plan". AP News. 19 March 2019. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  5. ^ "$1M local investment in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". www.hawaiinewsnow.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  6. ^ "$1M local investment in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". Hawaii News Now. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  7. ^ "New owners for Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". The Washington Times. Associated Press. 22 November 2014. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  8. ^ Mykleseth, Kathryn (21 November 2014). "Omidyar becomes majority investor in Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  9. ^ "HB1238 CD1". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  10. ^ "SB2544 HD1.DOC". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  11. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  12. ^ "HB870 SD1". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  13. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  14. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  15. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  16. ^ "Hawaii State Legislature". www.capitol.hawaii.gov. Retrieved 2020-12-21.
  17. ^ "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". www.bizjournals.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  18. ^ Magin, Janis L. (19 December 2020). "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". Pacific Business News. Retrieved 18 September 2023.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  19. ^ "Hawaii Seawater Air Conditioning Plans Shut Down Over Costs". Hawai'i Public Radio. Associated Press. 29 December 2020. Retrieved 18 September 2023.
  20. ^ "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". www.bizjournals.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  21. ^ Gomes, Andrew (2020-12-28). "Plans for seawater air conditioning in Honolulu dropped". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 2020-12-28.
  22. ^ "Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning to end development after 15 years". www.bizjournals.com. Retrieved 2020-12-21.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  23. ^ Hill, John (21 March 2017). "Report: Rail Could Save Big With Private Financing". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 20 September 2023.
  24. ^ Honore, Marcel (15 May 2018). "Rail Leaders Look To Curb Runaway Costs With New Partners". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  25. ^ "Honolulu Rail P3 Bidder Wants More Than $2 Billion For The Final Stretch". Honolulu Civil Beat. 2020-09-18. Retrieved 2020-09-28.
  26. ^ Public-Private Partnerships: Study Examines New Options for Rail, http://ulupono.com/news_posts/public-private-partnerships-study-examines-new-options-for-rail
  27. ^ Rail Leaders Look To Curb Runaway Costs With New Partners, https://www.civilbeat.org/2018/05/rail-leaders-look-to-curb-runaway-costs-with-new-partners/
  28. ^ Honolulu Pulls Out Of Public-Private Partnership Plan For Rail, https://www.civilbeat.org/2020/09/honolulu-pulls-out-of-public-private-partnership-plan-for-rail/
  29. ^ Honore, Marcel (26 September 2020). "Honolulu Pulls Out Of Public-Private Partnership Plan For Rail". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  30. ^ ‘How Do We Go Forward?’ Honolulu Rail Leaders Kill P3, Confront Unknown Costs, https://www.civilbeat.org/2020/11/how-do-we-go-forward-honolulu-rail-leaders-kill-p3-confront-unknown-costs/
  31. ^ Honore, Marcel; Dayton, Kevin (21 November 2020). "'How Do We Go Forward?' Honolulu Rail Leaders Kill P3, Confront Unknown Costs". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  32. ^ Angueira, Gabriela Aoun (1 July 2023). "Passenger rail finally arrives in Honolulu". Grist. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  33. ^ "About us". Biki. Retrieved 2021-01-31.
  34. ^ Wu, Nina (2020-12-05). "Biki bikes costing Honolulu an estimated $460,728 in lost revenue, audit finds". Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Retrieved 2020-12-06.
  35. ^ Cook Lauer, Nancy (3 February 2016). "Bike-share program to provide recreation, transportation in Kailua-Kona". Hawaii Tribune-Herald. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  36. ^ Napier, A. Kam (4 August 2017). "Who's Riding Biki Bikes?". Hawai'i Public Radio. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  37. ^ "Bikeshare Hawaii to remove Biki stations, reduce services to cut costs". KHON2. 2021-04-13. Retrieved 2021-04-15.
  38. ^ "Bikeshare Hawaii to remove Biki stations, reduce services to cut costs". KHON2. 2021-04-13. Retrieved 2021-04-15.
  39. ^ Honore, Marcel (11 October 2021). "Biki Is Bouncing Back From Covid-Era Vandalism, Ridership Woes". Honolulu Civil Beat. Retrieved 21 September 2023.
  40. ^ Cruz, Catherine (10 May 2023). "Bikeshare company Biki celebrates 6 years, looks ahead to Honolulu rail". Hawai'i Public Radio. Retrieved 21 September 2023.

Thank you for your time! Mary Gaulke (talk) 15:24, 24 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

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