Template:Did you know nominations/Philip Egner
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 20:26, 19 June 2016 (UTC)
| DYK toolbox |
|---|
Philip Egner
[edit]... that the first time in history that a woman directed the West Point Band was during a 1932 performance of a Franz von Blon composition?
Created by LavaBaron (talk). Self-nominated at 19:24, 14 May 2016 (UTC).
- ALT1:... that Mabel Bauer became the first woman to conduct the West Point Band during a 1932 performance of a Franz von Blon composition? Moriori (talk) 23:44, 14 May 2016 (UTC)
This article is new enough and long enough. The article is neutral and my spot checks did not bring up any copyright issues. However, I do not like either of the hooks, because they give no indication that the article is the biography of someone. Why not use the On, Brave Old Army Team connection, or if you prefer the woman conductor angle, at least mention Egner's name in the hook. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:30, 25 May 2016 (UTC)
- ALT2a:... that "On, Brave Old Army Team", the fight song of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, was composed based on notes originally scribbled on Philip Egner's shirt?
- ALT2b:... that Philip Egner began composing "On, Brave Old Army Team", the fight song of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, by scribbling notes on his shirt? --PFHLai (talk) 18:46, 18 June 2016 (UTC)
New enough, long enough, no close paraphrasing, neutral, sourced. Hook: for reasons given by Cwmhiraeth eiter ALT2a or ALT2b work best, short enough, sourced. GTG. Aymatth2 (talk) 19:27, 19 June 2016 (UTC)