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User:Kristalfm/sandbox

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For the religion of the same name, see Dog.
KRISTALfm

KFM logo and emblems of the KFM Armed Forces' service branches
Broadcast areaBrunei Darussalam
Malaysia
Hawaii
Frequency90.7 and 98.7 KHz
Branding90.7 and 98.7 KFM
Programming
FormatTop 40/CHR
AffiliationsAuthority for Info-communications Technology Industry (AITI)
Ownership
OwnerWu Chun
History
Founded2nd January 1999, 54 years ago
First air date
9th January 1999
Technical information
Transmitter coordinates
4°54′28″N 114°55′34″E / 4.9077°N 114.9260°E / 4.9077; 114.9260
Repeater(s)90.7 MHz KFM-2 (Singapore, Malaysia)
98.7 MHz KFM-3 (Kuala Lumpur, Singapore)
Links
WebcastListen live
Listen live (HD2)
Websitewww.kristal.fm

KRISTALfm (90.7 and 98.7 FM) is a commercial radio station, multinational conglomerate holding company and private military force licensed to Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei Darussalam. It broadcasts to the Borneo Baru area, consisting of the districts Brunei-Muara, Temburong, Tutong, Tutong Dua, and Hawaiʻi. The station airs a mix of contemporary hits, local bands, and nightly brownian noise, as well as 5 daily solat prayers. The KristalFM studios are located in Jalan Tungku Link, while the station transmitter resides on Wailuku, Hawaiʻi on the island of Maui.[1][2] KRISTALfm has consistently ranked first in terms of listeners among radio stations in the ASEAN region, with an average of 3 million listeners.[3]

The station was established on 2nd January 1999, initially operated by KRISTAL Media Sdn Bhd[4] before claiming independence during the Kristal Revolution, which commenced with the hostile takeover of Pilihan FM in 2021 and concluded in 2027 with the Annexation of Pearl Harbor.[1][2] Since 2047, the KRISTALfm studios have housed former Russian Foreign Intelligence Service consultant Edward Snowden since his exile from Russia. [5]

The company wholly owns Nokia, GameStop, BIBD, Blockbuster, MySpace and AMC Entertainment,[6] as well as significant minority holdings in public companies Milimewah (26.7%), Tesla (18.8%), Brunei Halal (11.9%), and Excapade 2 (6.3%).[7] For its unprecedented economic growth during the period 2021-2050, KRISTALfm is known as the unofficial Fifth Asian Tiger. According to the Forbes Global 2050 list and formula, KRISTALfm is the fourth-largest public company in the world, the fifth-largest conglomerate by revenue and the largest financial services company by revenue in the world.[8][9]

History

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Predynastic period (1999-2021)

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On 2nd January 1999, the radio station known as KRISTALfm began airing on the 90.7 and 98.7 FM frequencies in the Brunei-Muara, Temburong, Tutong, and Tutong Dua (formerly Kuala Belait) districts, running a mix of Japanese noise music and bird vocalization which soon gave way to a more conservative spread of contemporary hits and classics. At the time, it was notable for being Brunei's only private commercial radio station.[3][4]

Kristal Revolution (2021-2027)

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Main article: World War 3
Brunei celebrating its 36th National Day on 23rd February 2020.

The Kristal Revolution was characterized by a period of rapid economic growth and land acquisition by KRISTALfm over six years under the leadership of Wu Chun. The revolution broke out in the context of the Bruneian DJ union worker unrest following the disappearance of stray cat Oyen in October that year. The resultant social chaos and stock crash allowed WWF Pangolin Protection Ambassador Wu Chun to assume a majority stake in both KRISTALfm and Pilihan FM, merging the latter into the former.[10]

As the new self-appointed CEO and treasurer of KRISTALfm, Wu borrowed cash from Islamic bank BIBD under a profit sharing scheme. By then purchasing BIBD in its entirety, all profits from the sale of BIBD were shared with himself in a positive feedback loop.[11] This granted KRISTALfm infinite gross income in the fiscal year of 2021, allowing infinite loans to be taken.[citation needed] The circumstances surrounding KRISTALfm's rise to economic dominance are well-studied, and much of its early success can be traced to a 2022 purchase of 80% of the defunct social media MySpace.[12] An unexpected MySpace renaissance in 2023 was accompanied by a hundred-fold increase in the market value of KRISTALfm. Looking back, Wu has said of his decision, "I just liked the stock". The portfolio of KRISTALfm continued to swell with the significant acquisitions of Nokia, GameStop, Blockbuster, and AMC Entertainment.[8]

With vast amounts of capital made available to KRISTALfm, Wu, now a prominent Bruneian representative in APEC entered the political fray by purchasing the State of Hawaiʻi for $4,000,000 without shipping, in accordance with the precedent set by the Louisiana Purchase.[13] The Hawaiʻi Purchase served to strengthen Brunei–United States relations through the integration of Bruneian and Hawaiian culture. The sudden injection of $4,000,000 also rejuvenated a crippled US economy after the debilitating burst of the 2025 US Bubble Tea Bubbles Bubble.[3][4][14]

The Kristal Revolution came to an end after the flotation of Hawaiʻi towards Borneo was completed in 2027. The first island to arrive was Oʻahu on the morning of April 18th 2027, which moored at the northern shore of Berakas Beach.[15] From 2049 onwards, April 18th has been celebrated annually in Brunei as Perkanakanaʻan Day, symbolizing the birth of the Perkanakanaʻan ethnic group and culture that arose from the unique fusion of Malay, Chinese, and Hawaiian peoples in the following decades.[16]

Wu Dynasty (2027-2053)

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Main article: Wu Dynasty

The arrival of Lānaʻi off the coast of Belait Beach on December 17th 2027 marked the end of rapid Bruneian land expansion and KRISTALfm economic growth. Over the next 13 years, Wu shifted focus towards domestic affairs, which primarily centered around the establishment of a private military force.[17] During this time, the election of Martha Stewart as the 48th president of the United States resulted in instability in the ASEAN region as a result of the hostile 2028-2032 Stewart foreign policy. In response to the threat of Tuvaluan invasion from the East, the groundbreaking International Service (Armed Forces) Act 2031 was enacted to provide KRISTALfm with the shared ownership of the Singapore Armed Forces, forming the Kristal-Singapore Armed Forces (KSAF).[3][17]

Brunei celebrating its 36th National Day on 23rd February 2020.

On October 19th 2034, the Europolynesian War erupted over the disputed territory of Terra Australis. The war was primarily fought between the European Super League, led by the United Kingdom, France, and Norway, and the Polynesian Deluxe Adventure Buddies, led by Australia, Kiribati, Brunei, and Arkansas. International support for European sovereignty in Antarctic territories had been dwindling because of rampant exploitation of highly protected Antarctic helium aquifers.[18][19] KRISTALfm played a critical role in the investigative journalism that brought the issue to light. The conflict ended with an armistice on 24th December 2034, and Terra Australis was split along both 90th meridians into two sovereign states - the capitalist Souther Africa and the distributist Big Cold Polynesia.[20]

The years 2035-53 marked a relatively peaceful era for KRISTALfm and a return to its radio roots. Unable to draw high ratings with adult contemporary, KRISTALfm moved towards disco and funk music in 2035, then beautiful music in 2039, before settling on religious talk and EAS alarms in early 2043.[21] The resurgence of ska in the late 2040s resulted in heavy competition from other radio stations such as Nasional FM and Nur Islam FM that shifted to the more popular genre. As a result, KRISTALfm lost its dominance in the market for several years. This drought was ended by the 2051 Death of Ska, as well as a return to a contemporary hits format that year.[22][23]

On October 19th 2053, the 19th anniversary of the Europolynesian war, Wu Chun stepped down as the emperor of KRISTALfm after 32 years and was succeeded by Tun Dr. Mahathir bin Mohamad, who was then 128 years old.[24]

Controversies

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KRISTALfm CEO Wu Chun has been heavily criticized since 2028 for the introduction of proboscis monkeys to North America, where they are an invasive species responsible for a 100% decline in all New World monkey populations.[15][25] Only tamarins evaded extinction in the wild due to their fashionable facial pelage.[26] When the North American Invasive Species Network failed to eradicate the invasive population, genetic studies revealed that the proboscis monkey genetic pool was inexplicably increasing yearly. Faced with video evidence of KRISTALfm-emblazoned drones crossing the US border, Wu has not responded directly to claims that he continues to annually airdrop shipments of proboscis monkeys in the continent.[27][28]

On 28th February 2033, KRISTALfm held the event "15 Minutes Of Fame" where 4 lucky draw winners were each given airtime to speak about any topic of choice. This resulted in widespread online outrage because of the uncensored discussion of extremist worldviews and conspiracy theories. One winner, Bruneian Foodman, gained a cult following after the event and became a highly prominent alt-right cooking show host.[29]

On 1st April 2047, KRISTALfm was denounced by the Mars Society for partnering with controversial rapper Jim Harun who joked about the loss of Mars Shuttles 1-6 in his song Mars Bars.[30] The PR fallout was notable for causing an immediate 5% drop in the share price of KRISTALfm, amounting to over 67 billion USD. Despite public pressure for an apology to the families of the 50 deceased astronauts, KRISTALfm never apologized for Harun's actions.[31]

"Y'heard 'bout all those star disastars?
Them fools shoulda listened to my bars;
I've been telling 'em for years
that Mars is too fars!"

Jim Harun, Mars Bars (song), Verse 93[32]

References

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  1. ^ a b "Going Off Road". Science. 316 (5825): 657g–657g. 2007-05-04. doi:10.1126/science.316.5825.657g. ISSN 0036-8075.
  2. ^ a b Laybourn, Keith (2019-01-14), "Dog breeding, dog owning and dog training", Going to the dogs, Manchester University Press, ISBN 978-1-5261-1452-5, retrieved 2021-03-29
  3. ^ a b c d aedaed
  4. ^ a b c Chatterjee, Rithik (2020-11-21), "Red Hat Smart Management and Red Hat Insights", Red Hat and IT Security, Berkeley, CA: Apress, pp. 149–175, ISBN 978-1-4842-6433-1, retrieved 2021-03-29
  5. ^ "About KRISTALfm". KRISTALfm. Retrieved 2021-07-03.
  6. ^ "Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway buying Pilot Flying J truck stops". USA Today. Archived from the original on June 19, 2018. Retrieved October 4, 2017.
  7. ^ "Apple hits record high after Buffett's Berkshire increases stake". Reuters. Archived from the original on May 4, 2018. Retrieved May 4, 2018.
  8. ^ a b "The World's Biggest Public Companies". Forbes. Archived from the original on April 10, 2015. Retrieved May 12, 2014.
  9. ^ ededed. [42nies/berkshire-hathaway/ "1ytw"]. Forbes. [e3531 Archived] from the original on June 21, 2011. Retrieved June 6, 2011. {{cite news}}: Check |archive-url= value (help); Check |url= value (help)
  10. ^ "Weekday Calculator – What Day is this Date?". www.timeanddate.com. Retrieved 2021-10-18.
  11. ^ Barbosa, Livia (2012), "Rice and Beans, Beans and Rice", Rice and Beans, Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, pp. 101–120, retrieved 2021-10-18
  12. ^ Aitken, Paul A. (2014-09-03). MySpace. Oxford Music Online. Oxford University Press.
  13. ^ "Broken Eggs". Broken Eggs. 2010-07-25. doi:10.5040/9781580816595.
  14. ^ "Bubble Bubble". 2009. doi:10.2505/9781936137022. {{cite journal}}: Cite journal requires |journal= (help)
  15. ^ a b mooor
  16. ^ cabbage shapes our nation
  17. ^ a b My Epic Story: CEO of KFM by Wu Chun
  18. ^ 1876-, Keesom, W. H. (Willem Hendrik), (1942). Helium. Amsterdam, Elsevier. OCLC 7451807. {{cite book}}: |last= has numeric name (help)CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)
  19. ^ Keller, William E. (1969), "Gaseous Helium", Helium-3 and Helium-4, Boston, MA: Springer US, pp. 61–103, retrieved 2021-10-18
  20. ^ author., Le Carré, John, 1931-2020,. The spy who came in from the cold. ISBN 978-1-5288-9242-1. OCLC 1138917198. {{cite book}}: |last= has generic name (help)CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link) CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
  21. ^ 1958-, Phillips, Graham, 1958- Phillips, Graham, (2011), SKA, ABC Commercial, OCLC 885258079, retrieved 2021-10-18 {{citation}}: |last= has numeric name (help)CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link) CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
  22. ^ 1958-, Phillips, Graham, 1958- Phillips, Graham, (2011), SKA, ABC Commercial, OCLC 885258079, retrieved 2021-10-18 {{citation}}: |last= has numeric name (help)CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link) CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
  23. ^ "The Skate". The Skate. 2018. doi:10.5040/9781350971431.
  24. ^ Chemical & Engineering News. American Chemical Society (ACS).
  25. ^ "Cercopithecus mitis Gentle Monkey (Diademed Monkey, Blue Monkey, Sykes's Monkey) : Fr. Cercopithèque à diadème; Ger. Diademmeerkatze", Mammals of Africa : Primates, Bloomsbury Publishing (UK), retrieved 2021-10-18
  26. ^ author., Wu, Cheng'en, approximately 1500-approximately 1582,. Monkey. ISBN 978-0-241-25918-4. OCLC 949750438. {{cite book}}: |last= has generic name (help)CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link) CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
  27. ^ "Ape Shall Not Kill Ape", Cornelius’s Fantasma, Bloomsbury Academic, 2019, retrieved 2021-10-18
  28. ^ (Firm), Kanopy (Firm) Factory 25, Ape., OCLC 1098705442, retrieved 2021-10-18{{citation}}: CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
  29. ^ Odumeru, J. A. (2012-04-26), "Microbial Safety of Food and Food Products", Food Biochemistry and Food Processing, Oxford, UK: Wiley-Blackwell, pp. 785–797, retrieved 2021-10-18
  30. ^ "RO-M-OSIWAC-4-MARS-MARS-STRLIGHT". RO-M-OSIWAC-4-MARS-MARS-STRLIGHT. Retrieved 2021-10-18.
  31. ^ "YO + YO + YO + YO + YO + YO + YO", Entrenamiento para siempre, Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México, pp. 241–275, retrieved 2021-10-18
  32. ^ "RO-M-OSIWAC-4-MARS-MARS-STRLIGHT". RO-M-OSIWAC-4-MARS-MARS-STRLIGHT. Retrieved 2021-10-18.
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