User talk:AlfredRennie

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Welcome![edit]

Hello, AlfredRennie, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are a few links to pages you might find helpful:

You may also want to take the Wikipedia Adventure, an interactive tour that will help you learn the basics of editing Wikipedia. You can visit The Teahouse to ask questions or seek help.

Please remember to sign your messages on talk pages by typing four tildes (~~~~); this will automatically insert your username and the date. If you need help, check out Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or ask for help on your talk page, and a volunteer should respond shortly. Again, welcome! SkyWarrior 03:06, 15 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Welcome to The Wikipedia Adventure![edit]

Hi AlfredRennie! We're so happy you wanted to play to learn, as a friendly and fun way to get into our community and mission. I think these links might be helpful to you as you get started.

-- 00:58, Wednesday, August 16, 2017 (UTC)

Mission 1 Mission 2 Mission 3 Mission 4 Mission 5 Mission 6 Mission 7
Say Hello to the World An Invitation to Earth Small Changes, Big Impact The Neutral Point of View The Veil of Verifiability The Civility Code Looking Good Together

Welcome to The Wikipedia Adventure![edit]

Hi AlfredRennie! We're so happy you wanted to play to learn, as a friendly and fun way to get into our community and mission. I think these links might be helpful to you as you get started.

-- 20:09, Saturday, August 19, 2017 (UTC)

Mission 1 Mission 2 Mission 3 Mission 4 Mission 5 Mission 6 Mission 7
Say Hello to the World An Invitation to Earth Small Changes, Big Impact The Neutral Point of View The Veil of Verifiability The Civility Code Looking Good Together

Copy editing resources[edit]

Hi, AlfredRennie! I saw you'd signed-up for the August GOCE blitz and I wanted to make sure you have these resources:

In addition to the type of copy editing you might to elsewhere, Wikipedia's mandate gives us additional concerns like making sure information is formatted for screen-readers, uses Plain English for ease-of-translation, and has neutral point-of-view.

There's a lot to learn, but do go ahead and start an article – there are many short biographies to work on this week. If you have any questions, give me a {{ping}}. – Reidgreg (talk) 20:02, 21 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Reidgreg: Thanks for the reads! Do I just pick something from the bio list, and add it to my working list? Or is there more to it? Thanks in advance. AlfredRennie (talk) 01:50, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Yup, you picked Henry Conger Pratt and added it to your list with {{working}}. There are two other things you can do to help avoid frustrating "edit conflicts". One is to remove the {{copy edit}} maintenance template at the beginning of the article. (I will usually hide it by putting <!-- and --> on either side of it.) Outside of a blitz you wouldn't do that until finishing the copy edit, but since it's on your working line, the guild coordinators can keep an eye on it. A second thing particular to this blitz is to also mark it as {{working}} on the master article list on the blitz page (which I have done for you). These two things are done to let the other copy editors know you're working on the article, so they don't try to work on it at the same time (which can be counter-productive).
Some editors will also put up in-use templates while working on longer copy edits. But I don't think this is a high-traffic article, so you should be fine without it. Diligent editors will notice your copy edit comments in the edit summaries of the page history, and wait until you finish.
I skimmed-over your edits to the article and it looks good so far. Let me know when you finish and I'll try to review your copy edit and provide feedback (if I have time). – Reidgreg (talk) 14:41, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Reidgreg:. Thanks! I think I've cleaned up a good portion of it, and tried to trim down irrelevant details. Any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated (if you have time, of course). Thanks again for your help! AlfredRennie (talk) 16:26, 25 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Copy edit review[edit]

Hi, AlfredRennie! I think you did really good work on Henry Conger Pratt. My notes are almost all about Manual of Style. That's pretty much cleanup work so I went ahead and made the changes to the article. You can see the differences with this link.

  • Grammar
    • There was a smattering of commas needed
    • Some of the paragraphs started with a date, which would be alright for a list but not for prose. I variously added "in" or "on" or "during" ahead of the date.
  • Tone
    • former commander of GHQ Air Force now commanding Be careful of anything speaking in the present tense (e.g.: now, currently, etc.). I changed "now" to "who was then".
  • Manual of Style – Nobody is expected to know everything that's in the MOS, but you'll pick it up as you do more copy editing. It covers just about every aspect of writing for Wikipedia. I'll mention some of the more common things first, and then go toward the obscure just to give you an idea of how much people have thought things through.
    • Dashes and hyphens. Hyphens (-) are used to bring words together, while dashes (–) are used to separate words or phrases.
      • Hyphens are usually used with compound modifiers such as 20-year-old daughter. "20 year old" is a phrase modifying "daughter" and so it gets hyphens to tie it together. Wikipedia's MOS recommends this for easier-to-read prose. However, you should be careful there are no clarity issues. The example I like to use is "heavy metal detector". A heavy-metal detector is something that senses heavy metals. But a heavy metal-detector is a metal detector that weighs a lot. An exception is for adjectives ending in -ly, which don't need following hyphens.
      • Dashes separate things. Numeric ranges are a common place for dashes. 1843-1887 should be 1843–1887. With "September 2, 1882 - April 6, 1966" because the terms on either end have spaces, you should use a spaced dash like: "September 2, 1882 – April 6, 1966". An exception is if the word "from" precedes the numeric range. "From" references the first number, not the whole range, so you'd have to write "from 1843 to 1887" but "during 1843–1887" since "during" refers to the whole range. If that's too tricky to understand, there are more examples at MOS:DASH
      • Another place for dashes is in place of "against" or "versus". For example: Mexican-American War should be Mexican–American War. The war is between the two political entities. However, Anglo-American War would be hyphenated because "Anglo-" is a modifier.
    • Acronyms
      • Acronyms should be defined on first usage in the lead and body, so the reader understands what they mean. I did this by putting DMA in parenthesis after Division of Military Aeronautics (one paragraph earlier). Similarly with AEF, GHQ and ACTS.
    • Abbreviations
      • Very small point: Brigadier General George Bell, Jr.. He accompanied. When an abbreviation ends a sentence, you don't need two periods/full stops. Just the one will do, the following capital will indicate the new sentence. I'll usually look for a way to rephrase the sentence so it doesn't have to end in an abbreviation. (Similarly, there was a sentence that ended in "Washington D.C." that had an extra period.)
    • Names
      • He accompanied Bell Jr.'s headquarters I think you can cut the Jr. after the first occurrence, since there are no other people named Bell to distinguish from in the article. MOS:SURNAME
        • Very obscure point: while looking at MOS:SURNAME, I noticed that it is preferable not to have a comma before Jr. However, since it's in the George Bell, Jr. article, I would tend to keep it.
    • Capitalization
      • he was assigned as assistant adjutant of the District. although this is referring to a specific district, I feel it could be lower-case.
    • Italics
      • his pilot rating was changed to Airplane Pilot. I changed this to single quotes. I didn't feel it was examining the term itself (italics for mentioning words as words). MOS:ITALIC

The article also seems to have an issue of going into too much detail. It should probably be more of a summary of the subject's notable achievements rather than every single military posting he ever had. However, I wouldn't expect you to trim more than you have, and that's not really part of a copy editor's job.

I'll go ahead and put this on your completed line and mark it as reviewed. For the wordcount, you should take the count from the version of the article before you started copy editing. I'd say it's about 3100 words.

Good job! You really earned a barnstar for this one. Let me know if you have any questions. – Reidgreg (talk) 21:25, 25 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Reidgreg: Thanks so much for the feedback, I definitely need to dive deeper into the MOS. I was a little worried about removing too much, since people spent so much time crafting such a large article. I'll try to stick with this one for a bit, and trim it down beyond copy-editing. I do agree that a lot of details I left in were not totally relevant to the Pratt, but were interesting notes. I'll try to move them into more relevant articles before removing them if possible. Thanks again for your help! AlfredRennie (talk) 13:37, 27 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
You're welcome! It's understandable to be cautious, but if you feel you have a good reason to remove material, then it's probably OK. It will all still be there in the edit history, so as long as you put in a relevant edit summary note (e.g.: "Removing excess material from career section") then other editors will be able to go back and check, and possibly restore the material. Other options include moving the material to the article's talk page for other editors to discuss, or adding a cleanup maintenance templates (there is a huge list of them at WP:TC) to alert edtors of a potential problem. I tend to use {{example farm|section}} a bit. Thanks again for your diligence and your thoughtful edits! – Reidgreg (talk) 17:15, 28 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I know this is years later, but just wanted to repeat how helpful your feedback was. I still come back to reference this every now and then. AlfredRennie (talk) 07:05, 2 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GOCE August 2017 Blitz Bling[edit]

The Modest Barnstar
This barnstar is awarded to AlfredRennie for copy edits totaling over 2,000 words (including rollover words) during the GOCE August 2017 Copy Editing Blitz. Congratulations, and thank you for your contributions! Keira1996 07:50, 29 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

WikiProject Canada 10,000 Challenge submissions[edit]

The 10,000 Challenge of WikiProject Canada will soon be reaching its first-anniversary. Please consider submitting any Canada-related articles you have created or improved since November 2016. Please try to ensure that all entries are sourced with formatted citations and no unsourced claims.

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Speedy deletion nomination of Michael Patryn[edit]

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Your draft article, Draft:Tablet of The Questioning Devas Sutra[edit]

Hello, AlfredRennie. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "Tablet of The Questioning Devas Sutra".

In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been deleted. If you plan on working on it further and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.

Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. Liz Read! Talk! 15:34, 19 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Concern regarding Draft:Alvin Chau (executive)[edit]

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Thank you for your submission to Wikipedia. FireflyBot (talk) 15:04, 3 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Finanzbuch Verlag has been accepted[edit]

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Thanks again, and happy editing!

asilvering (talk) 04:14, 12 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Sam Cooper (journalist) has been accepted[edit]

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The article has been assessed as Stub-Class, which is recorded on its talk page. It is commonplace for new articles to start out as stubs and then attain higher grades as they develop over time. You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article.

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SL93 (talk) 23:27, 4 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

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