Wikipedia:Requests for feedback

"WP:FEED" redirects here. For the essay on vandalism, see Wikipedia:Deny recognition. For RSS and Atom feeds, see Wikipedia:Syndication. For the page rating system, see Wikipedia:Article Feedback Tool.

Requests for Feedback

This page provides comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have drafted, created, or substantially changed. This is not a general help page. To seek assistance or ask a question, see Wikipedia:Questions. If you are seeking an outside opinion about a dispute, please follow the steps in Wikipedia:Dispute resolution. Please note that this page is patrolled by volunteer editors just like you and it may take several days to review your request.

Before you request feedback

There are certain things which come up again and again so it may help if you deal with them before requesting feedback: Does your article have reliable sources? These are important in terms of both verifiability and notability. Do you have a conflict of interest that may harm your ability to produce a neutral article? If you would like a beginner's guide to these sorts of issues, take a look at the article wizard. If you are unsure about how to edit Wikipedia articles, take a look at this tutorial. For a more general discussion of writing your first article, see "Your first article".

How to post a request

Place a Wikilink, with the title of the page inside [[ and ]] - for example, [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] - in the box below. Click Click To Add Request In the new article, Write a brief summary of your work or what in particular you need help with, but do not post the whole article here. If you have rewritten an existing article, you may wish to provide a diff link from that article's history that shows your changes. Check regularly for responses to your request; they will most often be made here. ↓ Post your request using the box below. Replace "Untitled" with a wikilink to your article - e.g. [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] ↓

After Receiving Feedback

Check back here often, as you will receive a response here. Respond to the feedback, either with a simple thank you, to ask for help with anything mentioned, or, after you've made some of the improvements, what they think of them. Consider helping out here in the future - anyone can read up on what articles should be like and provide constructive criticism.

Are you providing feedback?

Please consider notifying the user whose article you are providing feedback for by placing a message on their talk page, so they will be able to read it in a timely manner and reply if necessary. You can use.. {{Feedbackreply-sm}} A template asking the user to check back here and consider responding {{Feedbackreply-alt}} A more personal version of the first offering your help with developing, moving to mainspace, etc.

(For help, see Wikipedia:Purge)

The previous few days of requests are transcluded below. The pages for the past 20 days are: ()

• October 12
• October 13
• October 14
• October 15
• October 16
• October 17
• October 18
• October 19
• October 20
• October 21
• October 22
• October 23
• October 24
• October 25
• October 26
• October 27
• October 28
• October 29
• October 30
• October 31

Index of all requests for feedback

Jonathan Gleich

Greetings, I have re-publish this article, and would appreciate opinions, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Gleich

Thanks for any help, Lscappel (talk) 23:37, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

Greetings, I have opened the re-published article, but found it very difficult to grasp the main topic of the article. Provide more reliable sources to this article and it will help the reader understand the main points of the article.

Patricia —Preceding unsigned comment added by Pati2ksu (talk • contribs) 21:52, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Mikhail Shufutinsky

I know a little about this singer Mikhail Shufutinsky - probably the most popular artist in the Russian chanson style - but I'm by no means well-placed to write an authoritative article.

Thought it would be useful to get one started and allow experts to amend.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Hearted_Hero

Hello, and thanks for taking the time to read this and help with editing. This is about a band I first saw on Vans Warped Tour, and having been following since. They have had great success including major radio play across the US, so I thought a little write up would be a good idea. Let me know your thoughts, thanksWikipedia Link

Band Myspace Major Radio Station Link

arbob cultural palace

I've written an article, i'd like some feed back on before passing to the main site

The article is at arbob_cultural_palace

It's definitely a notable place, as everyone in Tajikistan knows about it. It's even appeared on bank notes. However i'm struggling to find references beyond the guide book which i've included.

TomEspley (talk) 08:29, 29 September 2009 (UTC)

Link: User:TomEspley/Arbob Cultural Palace, Khujand. I looked on Factiva and found 4 brief mentions of politicians etc visiting the place, but no good facts for the article unfortunately. I will make some style improvements to the article though. Hopefully someone else can give some full feedback.--Commander Keane (talk) 09:05, 29 September 2009 (UTC)

Hi guys. Made a couple of changes and added a couple of references - hope you don't mind - on the page TomEspley created here.

I agree, visiting politicians and tourists are not worthy of note but an official ceremony probably is (considering the lack of any other contemporary references). Feel free to disregard my changes if you like.

I also added a few more links - allowing for continued movement through articles once this one is published (which in my opinion you probably have enough for already - there are many articles far less comprehensive than this one). There are plenty of significant references in your article that refer to other people or places for which Wiki pages already exists - don't get excessive but do try to link things back through to other articles of note.

Looking good though - nice work.

Stalwart111 (talk) 23:37, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Count Antoine Seilern (1901-1978)

Count Antoine Seilern (1901-1978)

94.143.1.120 (talk) 06:53, 30 September 2009 (UTC)

September 30, 2009 js@byronfunds.com

Suggestion: Should probably be simply Count Antoine Seilern (without the date) or even Antoine Seilern without the title or the date, so the first line of the article can read:

Count Antione Seilern (b 1901, d 1978) was the x Count of x...

... and you can always add redirects.

There are a few references to him already on Wiki so I would suggest an article would fill a little hole. Stalwart111 (talk) 23:47, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Robin French

Hello again,

Thanks for previous comments.

I have now added background, sections and another quoted source. Please advise if I need to do anything else for it to be considered acceptable.

Thanks, Felicity Waters (talk) 14:01, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

The phrase "gained a first" will not be known to many readers. Perhaps "gained first-class honours"?--SPhilbrickT 15:10, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

Many thanks. I have made this change as suggested. Please can someone have a look at the page and confirm if it is now acceptable? It is still showing the tag 'This article may not meet the notability guideline for biographies'.

Thanks again, Felicity Waters (talk) 10:31, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

Hello!

Please please can someone check the page Robin French for me? I have now added in all advice however it still shows the tag 'This article may not meet the notability guideline for biographies'. I would like someone to comment or confirm that it is acceptable if possible... Many thanks!!!! Felicity Waters (talk) 01:02, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

User name: "Bruce Cairney" being used to defame him

The User name Bruce Cairney has been used to put derogatory comments, contains photo of Bruce Cairney and make some editing in articles on wikpedia seem to come from Bruce Cairney when they have not. This has been continueing since 2006 and still no one does anything. What does wikipedia do about this type of internet stalking occuring within its pages? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bacmac (talk • contribs) 16:19, 3 October 2009 (UTC)

Previous request for assistance on this when docglasgow Dec/06 interviened on editing of user page ... Revision as of 14:53, 4 December 2007 (edit) (undo)Bacmac (talk | contribs) (→User name created to Slur an individual) User name created to Slur an individual You visit the user page for Bruce cairney before and removed 'unhelpful comments' how about deleting the user completely it is obvoiusly only created to sling mud and BS —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 124.152.12.41 (talk) 09:05, 25 December 2006 (UTC). oops , I see I did not sign - this user name is still being used to slur an individual -- Bacmac Bacmac 14:53, 4 December 2007 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Bacmac (talk • contribs) 09:36, October 4, 2009 (UTC)

I don't think you are in the right place. This page is intended to provide comments and constructive criticism about articles - it is not a general help page or noticeboard. The page on which to report persistent vandalism of articles is Wikipedia:Administrator intervention against vandalism. The page on which to report an improper username is Wikipedia:Usernames for administrator attention. The page on which to report other incidents that may require admin intervention is Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:16, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

- Thank you! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bacmac (talk • contribs) 14:06, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

Wellspring_learning_community_of_beirut

HI,

I created the page above, and need to change the title to —Preceding unsigned comment added by Psmeers (talk • contribs)

This question seems to be a fragment. As much as it sometimes seems, Wikipedia cannot read your mind... If your question is about moves, I think it is already resolved. Intelligentsium^review 01:13, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

Wellspring Learning Community of Beirut

Capitalization is the only change. Am not good with this code stuff, and cannot figure it out, and am about to pass out from frustration.

I created the page before, and it was deleted for lack of referenced notability, after I requested a "stay of deletion" while school admins. got me some references. They did it today.

Are you applying these deletions willy-nilly? Take a look at "Cabot Elementary," just as one example. Luckily, I saved my file as a Word doc.

best, Paul Psmeers (talk) 14:02, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

I have moved the article to Wellspring Learning Community, Beirut. For future reference, page moves can be requested by following the instructions at Wikipedia:Requested moves. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:28, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

I don’t believe deletions occur in a willy-nilly manner, but when literally thousands of people are making decisions in a non-hierarchical organization, it is inevitable that one person might propose deletion of an article another might choose to keep. In addition, standards evolve over time, so I see today more emphasis on the need for references (I support that goal), while some articles created years ago might still have none. I can imagine it is frustrating to be held to a higher standard than some existing articles, but I support improving the below standards articles rather than allowing new articles below standards.

I added a no references template to the Cabot Elementary pageSPhilbrickT 13:41, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

Help!

Can anyone help me? I need some advice with my article. Its http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napkin_PC Macka77 (talk) 07:41, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

What sort of advice are you looking for ? I have done some general tidy up on the article. My feedback is that it has two main problems:

1. It does not describe its subject in enough detail. The reference to paper and pens made me think at first that this was a "joke" concept describing ordinary paper. But then the later references to electronic ink etc. made me wonder whether it is in fact some form of rollable display. The article is not sufficiently clear about what it is describing.
2. More seriously, more than one source is needed to establish that the concept is notable. As it stands, the article does not establish the notability of its subject, and notability is a key criteria for inclusion in Wikipedia. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:43, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

I would make the Gizmodo link a web link. Literally, I would, and tried, except my browser doesn't support Cite so it failed.SPhilbrickT 13:48, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

ObjectFX

ObjectFX

I have made some edits that were suggested and also would like to cite the Wikipedia entry for Environmental Systems Research Institute entry as another member of the Open Spatial Consortium as a precedent for including ObjectFX into wikipedia: Kcroth4809 (talk) 15:00, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

We don't "cite precedents" here; that's a more formal way of saying, "Other stuff has articles, so this should too!" We do not regard the "other stuff exists" article as a valid argument for retention of an article; instead, you should argue for its retention on its actual merits as far as verifiability, notability, and so on. --Orange Mike | Talk 00:20, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Camp Salmen House

This is my first article: User:SCPS70458/Camp_Salmen_House I had some difficulties in finding proper formatting, etc. and would appreciate any and all feedback. I was not sure how much information to put into the article, so I tried to be concise.

Thank you for your help.

--SCPS70458 (talk) 17:13, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

I see it is a NRHP, so please take a look at Template:Infobox nrhp/doc. I realize you are new, and this may be daunting; I'm not in a position to help much more now, but if you don't have other help by this weekend, I'll see if I can help. Take a look at WP:Layout -among other things, the TOC should not be first. SPhilbrickT 22:26, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

Thank you so much for the direction. I admit to great difficulty in finding all the corners where information is available for new contributors. I have downloaded the template and am in the process of ensuring compatibility with standards. The template I used has the TOC in the beginning and am now trying to figure out how to move it. I also took you advice and sent a request for feedback to the National Register group. --SCPS70458 (talk) 22:39, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

Hey, it's looking good. I see you figured out the template. I'm still not sure why the TOC is at the beginning; maybe someone else will take a look at it and figure it out. Nice job. I think the National Register group is fairly active, so I hope they can provide you with additional specific ideas.--SPhilbrickT 01:30, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Aaron Fish (producer)

I created a new article several days ago for Aaron_Fish_(producer), a living, Canadian entertainment producer who runs multiple companies. After much review of the Wikipedia guidelines on notability and article writing/structure/format, I feel the article in question meets the necessary criteria.

However, I would greatly appreciate any input from other contributors/editors that could assist in improving the article as it now stands. Thank you in advance for your help.

Maninga (talk) 17:46, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

The article looks fine to me - well written, NPOV, sourced. You had some duplicate references - it is better to have a single reference which you can then cite at multiple places in the article, so I have changed this, and removed the unreviewed article tag. Gandalf61 (talk) 09:32, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

mr budgie

Mr Budgie

[1]

(Jennymorgan (talk) 21:11, 7 October 2009 (UTC))

It looks as if your article Mr Budgie has been deleted because it did not explain how the subject of the article is important or significant or sufficiently notable to be included in Wikipedia. There are notes explaining this on your talk page, and you cen read the notability guidelines that are linked from those notes. If you then want to try creating the page again, I suggest you create it as a sub-page of your user page (there are instructions on how to do this here) and then ask for feedback on it again. Gandalf61 (talk) 09:03, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Puyravaud

Puyravaud (Puyravaudcarp (talk) 10:38, 8 October 2009 (UTC))

It looks like you are trying to promote your business and that is NOT what Wikipedia is for. Teapotgeorge^Talk 10:47, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Agreed. You have created an article called Payravaud which has been marked for speedy deletion because of concerns that its text is a copyright violation. Even without the copyright concerns, the article is unlikely to be acceptable in its present form because it reads like an advertisement. To create an article that is suitable for Wikipedia you need to (a) write it in a more neutral tone and (b) show that the subject meets Wikipedia's notability standards. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:53, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Puyravaud

Thanks for your feedback it was initially declined since then I have changed it. Do you not think this is of interest to anyone? and should I give up?

(Puyravaudcarp (talk) 11:00, 8 October 2009 (UTC))

Bougainvillea

I wonder if anyone knows why my Bougainvillea is losing its leaves? I live in Central Pennsylvania and brought the plant inside when it started getting cold. I haven't overwatered it; the soil is still moist but it has been losing its leaves everyday. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Cricketbrown666 (talk • contribs) 15:53, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but I don't think you are in the right place. This page is intended to provide comments and constructive criticism about Wikipedia articles. You could try our article on Bougainvillea, or you could ask your question at the Science Reference Desk. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:59, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Robin French

Hello!

I have posted a new page - Robin French and refined it according to the many suggestions received here. I think it should now pass the criteria. Please can someone check for me. It is still showing the tag '...notability guideline for biographies...'

Many thanks! Felicity Waters (talk) 16:10, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

The article has favorable pull quotes from reviewers. Such quotes appear in jacket blurbs or ads on the sides of buses, not in encyclopedia articles. --Orange Mike | Talk 21:08, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Hi!

Please can someone help me with this page. It now has a tag saying it is written like an advertisement and has been marked for speedy deletion. The above message advised to remove quotations. Therefore I have removed the second quotation which was the only that I have added (the first quotation was added by another user. I had previously been advised that the writing style of this page was fine.

Please can someone advise me if I should delete the other quotation? Please can someone advise me how I can get this page authorised?

I am concerned that this writer now has a page with three uncomplementary tags at the beginning.

Thanks for any help, I would appreciate it if this could be cleared up as quickly as possible. Felicity Waters (talk) 18:40, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

There is no authorisation of Wikipedia pages. The simplest way to find out why a tag has been added to an article is to ask the editor who added it. You can find an editor's identity by looking at the page history, and then you can post your question on their user talk page or on the article's talk page. If you believe you have addressed the issue related to the tag then you can simply remove it from the article. Gandalf61 (talk) 22:22, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

Sans aucun doute

I wanted to create an article on Sans aucun doute and found that fr-Wiki already had one , although it was completely unreferenced (except a broken link). I rewrote it in English, removing some of the less interesting information (such as the Opening credits (Généric) section) and have progressively added in as many citations as possible. There are still bits for which I can find no WP:RS and watching the show every week (WP:OR I know) the section about the teams of lawyers and journalists is out of date and makes so sense timeline wise (I'm tempted to change to "Previous team members and current team members"). Any input on this article which has largely remained untouched by the community would be welcome. Regards -- Александр Дмитрий (Alexandr Dmitri) (talk) 09:06, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

The lede sentence is confusing. presented by Julien Courbet until 30 May 2009 then by Christophe Moulin since 12 September 2008 So who was the host from Sep '08-May '09? decltype (talk) 15:43, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

Fixed. I introduced a typo during translation. Now reads "[...]Julien Courbet until 30 May 2008 then by Christophe Moulin since 12 September 2008". The June-September 2008 period would be accounted for by being off for the summer (though can't find any references yet for that). -- Александр Дмитрий (Alexandr Dmitri) (talk) 16:47, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

For a 16 season show, there is very little information about critical reception. decltype (talk) 15:45, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

I will dig around for some more coverage, but the sources are poor. -- Александр Дмитрий (Alexandr Dmitri) (talk) 16:47, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

I am very glad to see that the translation was done with proper attribution. decltype (talk) 15:47, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

Thanks -- Александр Дмитрий (Alexandr Dmitri) (talk) 16:47, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

User:Thelema12/Dennis Van Roekel

I am working on a stub for an article about the President of the National Education Association, Dennis Van Roekel , and would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!--Thelema12 (talk) 19:29, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

Claims to this person's notability seem grounded, but your article also cites non-reliable sources, such as the Huffington Post and blogs. Also, to prevent a phenomenon known as linkrot, please use citation templates when citing webpages, or if this is not possible, at least give a short summary of the nature of the webpage. Intelligentsium^review 21:23, 10 October 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the tips. I've taken out the blog links, and put in New York Times articles and NEA press releases. Do I have enough info in the refs? Where do I get reference templates? Thanks!--Thelema12 (talk) 14:54, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

Evolution Article

I would like to see more information concerning the competing theories of evolution, namely the views held by Conservapedia. I believe that it is very important to cross reference this article in order to develop a greater discussion and widen the context of the subject of evolution. This is important as the subject's modern history as involved serious debate in which both sides of the argument (of whether or not evolution is real) cites many accredited sources.

Thank you —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jcoving28 (talk • contribs) 19:59, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

I think you are in the wrong place. This page is intended to provide feedback on new articles that editors have written. If you want to suggest a topic for a new article, you can do this at Wikipedia:Requested articles. Gandalf61 (talk) 22:26, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

Furthermore, "Conservapedia" is also a wiki and does not represent a notable viewpoint, such as that of a major news agency or governmental group, except perhaps for its own article. Though a Conservative view on Evolution is notable and is included in that article, Conservapedia's view is not. Intelligentsium^review 21:20, 10 October 2009 (UTC)

Bob Pereyra, The Godfather of Street Luge.

Please review my piece on Bob Pereyra, The Godfather of Street Luge.

Here are some projects, Bob worked on or was featured.

Commercials Diet Mountain Dew Discovery Channel Promotion Aero Sport - Australia & Japan Dew & Diet Mountain Dew Route66 British Knights Extreme Sports BBDO Mountain Dew Ad Spot ESPN promo for 1997 X Games Going To Extremes - Subaru Jack In the Box Air Force   Film & Video 48 Hrs ABC 1995 – 2001 X-Games ESPN Extreme 101 (profiles)  Wave Entertainment   Extreme 101 documentary PM Magazine USA Today Discovery Channel - The Adventurers Sports center (ESPN) Prime Ticket Sports  - Press Box MTV Sports        Stuntmasters Belgian Television    FNN Sport News L.A. TV Stations 2,4,7,5 & 9  Channel 17, San Diego CA Channel 56,  Orange County CA  French TV-1  ll Ne Faut Pas Rever Inside Edition Japan Network News - Video Voice 99 Guinness Prime Time Red Bull record attempt  (81.28mph) HD Theater Discovery (The Secret Club Of Speed) News print, Magazines & Publications Sports Illustrated1995 Center Fold     People (European Edition) Poweredge Center Fold     View (U.S.) Transworld (International)      Valley Magazine (L.A.) VSD (France)                No Way (France) Outside/Outsiders            Esquire Gentlemans¹ Quarterly/GQ    Star Thrasher - Cover Photo    Allsport Worldwide The London Face     Zoot Capri - Cover Photo Popular Mechanics -1996 Center fold    Playboy Books and Guides Street Luge Racing published by Capstone Press Street Luge Regulation Guide Street Luge sports cards memorabilia Print USA Today 3 articles  L.A. Times (national wire feature) Christian Science Monitor  3 articles  Ventura, CA Chronicle Daily News (L.A.) - 5 articles   Acorn (LA) Providence Daily Journal cover Asahi Shim bun - Tokyo cover Narragansett RI Gazet 

My name is Karen Wondra Grisham, (e-mail removed). October 11, 2009. Streetlugehome (talk) 16:39, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

Your article Bob Pereyra, The Godfather of Street Luge needs quite a bit of work before it can be an acceptable Wikipedia article. Here is some feedback:

• Title - the title of the article should just be "Bob Pereya" - see our policy on naming conventions.
• Style - is much too promotional; needs to be more encyclopedic - see our style guide.
• Notability - the notability of the subject needs to be established by showing that he has been written about in independent reliable sources - see our notability guideline.
• References - the quotes and facts given all need to be refernced back to reliable sources - see our verifiability policy

I suggest you look at some other biographies in Wikipedia, and try to copy their style and structure. Gandalf61 (talk) 17:25, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

The article has now been deleted by User:Orangemike under speedy deletion criteria G11 - unambiguous advertising or promotion. Gandalf61 (talk) 09:11, 12 October 2009 (UTC)

Boyd's Marriage Index

Boyd's Marriage Index Eddaido (talk) 06:42, 12 October 2009 (UTC)

This article does not conform to WP:MOS. Please read the relevant pages. Intelligentsium^review 01:47, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

The Tribe

I hope this is the right place for my request. I've been working on The Tribe article for some time now but I don't edit very regularly. I've tried to make the article as clean as possible and to include citations, references and images. Other contributors have added sections about fan productions and a cast reunion. Is this relevant to the article? I would greatly appreciate any input from other contributors/editors that could assist in improving the article as it now stands. Thank you very much. ErisDysnomia (talk) 16:09, 12 October 2009 (UTC)

The article is currently rated B-class, which means it's a pretty good article. User:Orangemike has beaten me to removing the CRUFTy sections, but overall, I don't see any obvious issues that need to be addressed. One thing, I would do, however, is add more third-party sources, independent of the subject. There are already some, but many sources are from the Official Website, which is accepted in articles about TV series, but generally not in other types. Thank you for trying to help out; if you need anything, let me know, or ask a question. Cheers, Intelligentsium^review 01:42, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

Dog Reproduction

sup, I think it would improve this Internet homepage if there was an article and not a redirect at the article Dog Reproduction. I think it should be a disharmonious homepage because they are several different things that can be meant by dog Reproduction, but now it redirects to Canine reproduction. An editor thought it would not be a good idea to make it that way and that to make it good should be asked on the homepage for canine reproduction but no one has since replied to the talk page on Canine reproduction. I think my idea is a good idea, what do you think? Could you comment in on that please. Peter Napkin Dance Party (talk) 04:03, 13 October 2009 (UTC) Thanks

This page is for comments on "This page is intended to provide comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have created or substantially changed" so this may not be the best venue. I have commented on the talk page, though.Cptnono (talk) 04:51, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

Thanks Cptnono. I searched a few of the other pages and this seemed to be the one that fit the best. It didn't look like there was much discussion on the canine reproduction talk page. Could you, or anyone else, point me to a better forum for future reference? Peter Napkin Dance Party (talk) 19:44, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

St.Christopher's School Bahrain a British-Style School

Hi can you please feedback me on my article : St.Christopher's School Bahrain a British-Style School . Thanks, The arabic if possible too —Preceding unsigned comment added by RayanB (talk • contribs) 15:23, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

Your article St Christopher's School Bahrain requires a lot of work before it is suitable for Wikipedia. I have made some edits to bring its layout in line with Wikipedia's standards. I have also fixed some grammatical errors and removed some text that was too promotional and made the article sounds like an advertisement. I have also removed the Arabic text - if you want to write an article in Arabic then it belongs in the appropriate language Wikipedia. The most important improvements that are still needed in this article are (a) it needs references to reliable sources to validate the facts that are stated in the article and (b) it needs references to independent third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:46, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

Jacqui1311/Douglas Sannachan

Douglas Sannachan can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jacqui1311/Douglas_Sannachan

I would be very grateful to get feedback on a new page on a Scottish Actor Douglas Sannachan to see if it would be acceptable as a Wikipedia entry.

Mnay thanks for your time.

Jacqui1311 (talk) 21:38, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

It's a good start. To get the article ready to be released into Wikipedia article space, you need to do a few things:

• Add links to other Wikipedia article - for example, link Gregory's Girl to Gregory's Girl - see Wikipedia:Linking for instructions on how to do this.
• Add an infobox, such as the actor infobox - see Help:Infobox for help.
• Add the article to some categories, such as Category:Scottish film actors - see Wikipedia:Categorization for more information on Wikipedia categories.

Take a look at our article on Alex Norton for a good example that you could follow. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:11, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for your comments Gandalf61. I've managed to do all of that. Cheers —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jacqui1311 (talk • contribs) 19:41, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Farside (band)

This page was deleted via WP:PROD for failing the notability requirements. I've tried to fix it at User:Peachlette/Farside (band), but would like a second opinion before re-introducing the article. peachlette (talk) 00:17, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Wridgways

Wridgways

Please let me know if you think this article will be acceptable. This historical information has never been published before now, so there is no published reference to cite, however it is important to the company (Wridgways) that some record of its history is recorded.

124.148.187.229 (talk) 03:26, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Some feedback on your draft article:

• Contents - the article focuses almost entirely on the history of the company, ending in 1999. It would make for a more balanced artcile if you shortened the history section and added more about the company's current size, business activities, locations etc.
• Sources - Wikipedia requires that information in its articles can be verified from reliable sources. I am afraid that unpublished company archives do not count as a reliable source in Wikipedia's terms.
• Notability - the article needs to establish the notability of its subject. To do this, it needs to show that the company has received significant coverage in independent, third party sources - see the guideline at Wikipedia:Notability (organizations and companies). References to newspaper or trade journal articles about the company would help here.
• Conflict of Interest - if you are employed by or connected with the company, then you should read our conflict of interest guideline.

If you want to create a history of the company based mainly on its internal archives, then Wikipedia is probably not the right place to do this. Gandalf61 (talk) 09:43, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Bristol Pitbulls

Hello,

I recently constructed a new article for a recently formed English Professional Ice Hockey Team, the Bristol Pitbulls, located at the following wiki link

[Bristol Pitbulls]

Essentially, since it was moved to the live Wiki page, it is still showing as a new unreviewed article, and I could really use some assistance in getting this page 100% live.

I cannot see where people have the option to review the article?

If anybody can help me out, it would be most appreciated.

Jimmy Eyre Jimmy Villa (talk) 12:00, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

I have removed the {{new unreviewed article}} tag, but I have added a {{notability}} tag because I think the article at the moment fails to establish its subject's notability - see our notability guideline. I have also rewritten most of the article to remove the "sports journalism" style of writing. Wikipedia is an encycliopedia, so phrases like "plough their trade", "proving just how far they had come", "what a start" etc. are not appropriate in our articles. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:21, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

Burning Condors

User:Passenger69/BurningCondors —Preceding unsigned comment added by Passenger69 (talk • contribs) 15:01, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

I would be very grateful to get feedback on a new page on British band Burning Condors to see if it would be acceptable as a Wikipedia entry.

Thanks for your help Passenger69 (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 16:34, 15 October 2009 (UTC).

Article Name: Bernard Belle

Article Name: Bernard Belle Bernard Belle

Dear All,

I have read many help articles within WIKIPEDIA but am getting nowhere finishing my article on Composer, Bernard Belle. Can someone assist me?

1. I am done entering most of the facts, discography, etc. 2. Some of the songs credited to Mr. Belle appear as "page not found"--How do I correct this?

Any help you can offer me would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Blairsmom (talk) 18:58, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

User:Blairsmom/Bernard Belle looks like a great start, and four grammies should be ample evidence that the subject is notable. I would make minor changes such as splitting it into a lead and named sections, and make his colleagues' names into links, but that's advice on Wikipedia's style rather than any fault in the article itself. Why not remove the {{NOINDEX}} and {{underconstruction}} tags and move it to the main article space where everyone can improve it? To make it easier to find, you can edit some of the articles mentioned in Special:Search/Bernard Belle to link to your article, and copy appropriate [[Category:whatever]] links from a similar article like Teddy Riley (producer).

"Page not found" simply means that no one has created an article about that subject yet. It's a normal feature and not an error. If the song is notable enough to merit a whole article to itself, then leave the redlink in place: it will automatically turn blue when someone (perhaps you) writes that article. If it's not notable then just take the double square brackets off (or replace by double apostrophes for italics) and leave the title as normal black text. Certes (talk) 10:08, 16 October 2009 (UTC)

cross-sell

I am simply looking for feedback regarding an article I am working to post Cross-Sell

--Cross-Sell (talk) 20:25, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

The COI is obvious; this username has been blocked. --Orange Mike | Talk 21:08, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

Neamat Imam, Bengali Poet

I have just posted the above articile to Wiki, my first. Just baffled by too many information about how to post. [article URL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neamat_Imam,_Bengali_Poet] Wanted to add the website of the poet www.neamatimam.com in the body of the article, but failed. And also don't know if the article will appear whens searched with Wiki search tool. Hasib —Preceding unsigned comment added by Intertext (talk • contribs) 21:33, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

The article was deleted by User:David Fuchs under speedy deletion criteria A7 - "An article about a real person ... that does not indicate why its subject is important or significant". Gandalf61 (talk) 08:31, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Clarinda

Hello. I'm looking for feedback about my first Wikipedia article: [Clarinda]

It's about the anonymous Peruvian poet who is famous for the poem "Discourse in Praise of Poetry". She may also be Peru's first female poet. I'm happy to consider any revisions you find necessary before I move it off of my user page.

Thank you in advance for your help! elDustado 02:15, 16 October 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Eldustado (talk • contribs)

I think the article is fine - well written and laid out, plenty of sources, establishes notability - and it is ready to be moved into main article space. One small point - as the article includes a sample of poetry in Spanish, it would be good to also have an English translation of this passage. Congratulations on an excellent first article. Gandalf61 (talk) 08:37, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Thank you! The poem hasn't been translated into English by any professional writers -- Is it acceptable for me to translate it myself? elDustado 17:31, 17 October 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Eldustado (talk • contribs)

Polyoxyethyleneamine or Polyethoxylated tallow amine (POEA)

I don't have the time to do this, but the above chemical is an "inert" ingredient in Roundup that is extremely toxic. This topic is currently a stub and badly needs to be written up. A quick perusal of pubmed shows very recent, very important new toxicity data on POEA.

The "active" ingredient in Roundup, glyphosate, is relatively nontoxic. However, the "inert" ingredient POEA is proving to be extremely toxic. The public needs to be made aware of this.

In addition, I haven't looked at "inert ingredients" on Wikipedia, but if it isn't made clear that "inert" when its on the label of chemical products such as Roundup and dishwashing detergent doesn't mean that it does nothing, and that so-called "inert" ingredients can be more toxic than "active ingredients", this needs to be done urgently. It's important that the public become aware of this ruse. Nocow (talk) 16:52, 16 October 2009 (UTC)

I think you are in the wrong place. This page is for requests for feedback about articles that an editor has created or substantially changed. Your comments should be made at the POEA article talk page at Talk:Polyethoxylated tallow amine or at Talk:Roundup. The Roundup article says "Another important ingredient of Roundup is the surfactant POEA (Polyethoxylated tallow amine), known for its toxicity in wildlife, it increases herbicide penetration in plant cells". Gandalf61 (talk) 07:05, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Helper Man

helper manTvfan17 (talk) 01:46, 17 October 2009 (UTC)Grant Gabel 15/10/09

If you are asking for feedback on an article, please post a link to the article page. I can't find an article called "Helper Man" in either main article space or in your user space. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:45, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Más. Nelly Furtado Song

Más (2009)

hello guys. I need help with this posting. i haven't yet found information for this.

Jgabino000

There are two draft articles in your user space : User:Jgabino000/Más and User:Jgabino000/Mas (Nelly Furtado Song). Both are one line articles, and so are nowhere near ready for release into main article space. As an example of what you should be aiming at in article on a released single, take a look at Manos al Aire or Give It to Me (Timbaland song). If you cannot find enough information about the single to make a substantial article, then it is probably not notable enough for inclusion in Wikipedia. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:57, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

List of jazz biographies

I am compiling a list of jazz biographies at User:Chitownjazz/List of jazz biographies.

Is this considered an appropriate article? If so, what should the citations be?

Any other feedback?

Also, I can't figure out how to make this entry "signed".

Thanks, --Chitownjazz (talk) 20:54, 17 October 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Chitownjazz (talk • contribs) 14:43, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

To sign a message, just type --~~~~ at the end of your message. I may be wrong, but I don't think a List of jazz biographies is an appropriate article. I believe this falls under WP:NOTDIRECTORY, which is that Wikipedia is not a directory of loosely associated topics. There are so many biographies published, that the page really will just grow infinitely since biographies will continually be published. Also, many of the biographies are not notable, and so probably shouldn't be included on the list. I think creating articles for the biographies (provided they are notable), and then using a category would be the best course of action. But I would also wait for another user to weigh in before abandoning the effort. --Odie5533 (talk) 17:42, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Rohini Village(West Bengal)

I have discussed about Rohini Village...Please comment on this and rate it...any improvements should be accepted if correct.Please visit the following link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohini_Village(West_Bengal) thank you Soumitrajana (talk) 16:03, 17 October 2009 (UTC)Soumitra Kr Jana 17/10/2009

Hello and welcome to Wikipedia! If you haven't already, please take a look at the WP:Introduction page as it discusses writing new articles, and also the links at the top of this page. Looking at the page you've made, a few things hit me immediately: you don't need a header for introduction (lede) section; be careful not to put spaces before the bullet points (*) or it will show up as pre-formatted text in the funny looking box. The article delves right into the gritty details of the subject, first thing I want to know when reading the article is what is Rohini Village? An example first line for the article would be "Rohini is a village in the eastern Indian state of West Bengal". Phrases like "Gram-panchayet" and "Sankrail block Paschim Medinipur" don't mean anything to me, probably because I don't know much about India. But you want the article to be generally useful, or useful to people who know nothing about India, or perhaps only that India is a country somewhere in Asia. The other thing I notice is that you have no references. If I may refer you to our excellent page on wp:verifiability, and it's counterpart, the reliable sources page, I think you should be on your way to finding excellent references for the village. The article has a lot of Wikipedia Manual of Style problems, but those are all minor things which can be combed through later. The article seems to be off to an okay start, and I hope you continue editing to make it even better. Again, welcome. --Odie5533 (talk) 17:32, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

PS22 chorus

This is my very first article and it has been tagged for cleanup because apparently it is (was?) reminiscent of an essay rather than an encyclopedic article.

I have deleted the suspected sentences now. What do I have to do to get rid of the "unreviewed" and "cleanup" banner?

Zendrig (talk) 17:36, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

First, welcome to Wikipedia! If you haven't already, take a look at the WP:Introduction page as it has lots of great help for creating your first article. While the cleanup banner can be removed by anyone, I would recommend leaving both up until another user comes through and gives the article a good once over to make sure it's up to par. A lot of users, well, over-tag articles with big ugly banners at the top which often stay on the articles for a long time. If the article doesn't require general cleanup, then it at least has prose problems or missing sources or one of an innumerable number of other cookie-cutter problem tags on it. Don't be discouraged by the tags, just make sure you are trying to address the problems they point out and continue improving the articles.

That being said, looking over the article it does indeed need some cleanup. Trivia sections are generally discouraged, so I'd recommend moving the information it contains into regular prose instead of a bullet list. Having block quotes from media sources is also generally a bad idea since it comes across as advertising. I usually leave block quote for use only on pages about dead people or historic things, just to be safe. The choice of section titles feels awkward, and like an advertisement. Perhaps a Chorus section, and just put the information about the director in the Chorus section, and also perhaps change "The Music" section to just "Music". The Celebrity following" section would also be better as a prose section, and feel less like a marketing gimmick. Please consider these as only recommendations, you don't need to follow each one to a tee. And again, welcome to Wikipedia. --Odie5533 (talk) 17:57, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Thanks! I restructured the whole article now and tried to incorporate all of your advices in the updated version. Zendrig (talk) 23:50, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Can i get some help for my new created article: bpled?

Can i get some help for my new created article about the google dark of bpled?

The page gives an error too.. so can you help me?

I'm new with wikipedia :) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Joerijj (talk • contribs) 20:11, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Hello and welcome to Wikipedia! If you have not already done so, please take a look at WP:Introduction. The Bpled article is being considered for deletion because it does not meet Wikipedia's guidelines for notability. New articles must be created on topics which have received "significant coverage in secondary reliable source." While the them you have created may in fact be useful, Wikipedia is not the place to share the theme or market it. Please see WP:NOT#OR for more information on what Wikipedia is not. And again, welcome to Wikipedia. --Odie5533 (talk) 20:29, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Artticel Request

I've been trying to update information for a group called the Dukes of DaVille. They have several references already linked on Wikipedia and I've noticed that every time we try to create a page it gets deleted. The last time a page was put together was in February of 08. Since then the group has gained much success and press and we would like to added to the wikipedia site now. Please let me know what it is that I have to do to update this information. dclark@imagemakersmedia.com —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mrdarnelclark (talk • contribs) 02:03, 18 October 2009 (UTC)

Dukes of DaVille article was deleted because it was very short and had no context to identify what the subject was. First you should head over to WP:Notability and make sure the subject (Dukes of DaVille) is considered notable. Then go to WP:RS and read about what Wikipedia considers reliable sources. Gather up your sources, and create the article at User:Mrdarnelclark/Dukes of DaVille. Then when you are sure it is long enough, click the move button and move the article to Dukes of DaVille. Use this method so that you can build up the article before putting it in the general encyclopedia. If you have any problems let me know. --Odie5533 (talk) 05:12, 18 October 2009 (UTC)

Wlad Godzich

Just created this article (moved it from userspace): Wlad Godzich. It's my first (hopefully) solid article published, so very interested in any feedback or contributions.Strom (talk) 04:01, 18 October 2009 (UTC)

I have provided feedback on the talk page of the article. --Odie5533 (talk) 05:28, 18 October 2009 (UTC)

Oklahoma Association of Student Councils

Thank you for reviewing my article about the organization that oversees all high school student councils in Oklahoma. [Oklahoma Association of Student Councils] Jdelozier (talk) 04:34, 18 October 2009 (UTC)

Bank War

I rewrote Bank War some time ago in an attempt to give it more balance and supply more reliable sources. I was hoping people would look it over as time went on, but it appears to be a pretty low traffic article. In any case, any feedback is appreciated. It's possible the article needs to be merged somewhere, but I don't really know how to do that, so any help would be appreciated. Thank you Wikilost (talk) 05:57, 18 October 2009 (UTC)

David I. Shapiro

After the death of David Shapiro, earlier this month, I was appalled to discover he didn't have a Wikipedia Page. David I. Shapiro is entirely my creation, anybody who has suggestions or contributions is very welcome to make them. Right now, the only eyes really on the article are mine, and I could use a second opinion. Wikilost (talk) 06:39, 18 October 2009 (UTC)