Talk:Vanna Bonta

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Some thoughts

I was asked to come by and give some thoughts on my talk page. I would like to do so but am in the midst of finals for grad school, so won't spend much time on here in the next few days, but can do a closer read in a week or so. Here are some initial thoughts, largely about structuring the writing :

Lead is throwing jargon around. What is the significance of Flight? Is it a novel? What about the 2suit? Make sure all the significant nouns have descriptors that allow users to stay on the biography instead of getting sucked into wiki-surfing. Leads should be easy enough to read, and thorough enough that the reader doesn't need to worry about reading the rest of the article if they don't need more.
Visually and with some spot reading there are a lot of very short paragraphs that aren't very useful (1-3 sentences). How might you make these a little lengthier (5-8 sentences), and have thematic focuses? How might you use introductory sentences to create better signalling for a reader who is skimming (which most Wikipedia readers do) a sense of why they would want to read that paragraph? How might you make the sections less about listing information, and more about providing a story that different subparagraphs contribute parts to?
Similarly, the beginning of each section can have a sentence or two explaining what makes that section distinct from the others, and why the reader should care about reading it.
Flesh out quotes subsection. Why is it significant that authors quote her? Most authors get referenced through intertextuality at some point.
Early life and family has a lot of unsourced writing
Columns need to be fixed in Filmography section
Would recommend either consistently using cite templates, or consistently not doing so. <40 instances of them right now for 107 references.
ref 106 (think its named "velocity") doesn't have any information

Hope these help, going to come back when I have a bit more time, Sadads (talk) 02:37, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@Georgiasouthernlynn: Just wanted to make sure that you saw this, Sadads (talk) 21:48, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

About this new article

I am contributing this article to Wikipedia because the subject interests me a great deal and I found that there were articles on Vanna Bonta on the German, Spanish, Italian, and Japanese Wikipedias, but not on the English Wikipedia which I find a little bizarre.

I asked both Sadads and SlimVirgin for their feedback on this article while it was in development in my sandbox. I believe I have responded to most, if not all of their suggestions. I know it still needs some work. If you want to help out, I will be be grateful. If you would like to suggest how the article could be improved, I will attempt to respond to all suggestions.--Georgiasouthernlynn (talk) 21:41, 20 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Peer review requested

Vanna Bonta received a peer review by Wikipedia editors, which is now archived. It may contain ideas you can use to improve this article.

--Georgiasouthernlynn (talk) 15:01, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Great encyclopedic article worth reading every points are well discussed MurtazaHus (talk) 18:23, 3 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Has she died

I am receiving messages from mutual friends (I did not know her personally, but have friends who do) that she has passed away. I have not seen any official reports on this, so I am not sure if she has or not.

Short technical suggestion

It will be a good idea that you have the following code inserted at the very end of each language version of Vanna Bonta on Wikipedia. It's purpose is to inform the reader that a version of THIS article exists in THESE languages. Here, you need to delete every time the line related to the language of the article containing the code.

[[en:Vanna Bonta]]
[[fr:Vanna Bonta]]
[[es:Vanna Bonta]]
[[de:Vanna Bonta]]
[[it:Vanna Bonta]]

I hope this helps.