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Some thoughts

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I was asked to come by and give some thoughts on my talk page. I would like to do so but am in the midst of finals for grad school, so won't spend much time on here in the next few days, but can do a closer read in a week or so. Here are some initial thoughts, largely about structuring the writing :

  • Lead is throwing jargon around. What is the significance of Flight? Is it a novel? What about the 2suit? Make sure all the significant nouns have descriptors that allow users to stay on the biography instead of getting sucked into wiki-surfing. Leads should be easy enough to read, and thorough enough that the reader doesn't need to worry about reading the rest of the article if they don't need more.
  • Visually and with some spot reading there are a lot of very short paragraphs that aren't very useful (1-3 sentences). How might you make these a little lengthier (5-8 sentences), and have thematic focuses? How might you use introductory sentences to create better signalling for a reader who is skimming (which most Wikipedia readers do) a sense of why they would want to read that paragraph? How might you make the sections less about listing information, and more about providing a story that different subparagraphs contribute parts to?
  • Similarly, the beginning of each section can have a sentence or two explaining what makes that section distinct from the others, and why the reader should care about reading it.
  • Flesh out quotes subsection. Why is it significant that authors quote her? Most authors get referenced through intertextuality at some point.
  • Early life and family has a lot of unsourced writing
  • Columns need to be fixed in Filmography section
  • Would recommend either consistently using cite templates, or consistently not doing so. <40 instances of them right now for 107 references.
  • ref 106 (think its named "velocity") doesn't have any information

Hope these help, going to come back when I have a bit more time, Sadads (talk) 02:37, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@Georgiasouthernlynn: Just wanted to make sure that you saw this, Sadads (talk) 21:48, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

About this new article

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I am contributing this article to Wikipedia because the subject interests me a great deal and I found that there were articles on Vanna Bonta on the German, Spanish, Italian, and Japanese Wikipedias, but not on the English Wikipedia which I find a little bizarre.

I asked both Sadads and SlimVirgin for their feedback on this article while it was in development in my sandbox. I believe I have responded to most, if not all of their suggestions. I know it still needs some work. If you want to help out, I will be be grateful. If you would like to suggest how the article could be improved, I will attempt to respond to all suggestions.--Georgiasouthernlynn (talk) 21:41, 20 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Peer review requested

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--Georgiasouthernlynn (talk) 15:01, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Great encyclopedic article worth reading every points are well discussed MurtazaHus (talk) 18:23, 3 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Has she died

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I am receiving messages from mutual friends (I did not know her personally, but have friends who do) that she has passed away. I have not seen any official reports on this, so I am not sure if she has or not. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 198.179.137.240 (talk) 14:29, 11 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Short technical suggestion

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It will be a good idea that you have the following code inserted at the very end of each language version of Vanna Bonta on Wikipedia. It's purpose is to inform the reader that a version of THIS article exists in THESE languages. Here, you need to delete every time the line related to the language of the article containing the code.

[[en:Vanna Bonta]]
[[fr:Vanna Bonta]]
[[es:Vanna Bonta]]
[[de:Vanna Bonta]]
[[it:Vanna Bonta]]


I hope this helps.

Removed citations

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The citations that I removed (and Murry1975 replaced) were unreliable, self-published, or outright misleading, and several failed verification. I removed them in an attempt to improve the article. Murry1975's reversion also deleted sources and new information I added. However, if it would be preferable to consider the original version of the article for deletion, since I was the one who AfDed it, I'll let the original version stand. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 16:54, 29 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Pietro Annigoni

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The source for the claim that Bonta modeled for Pietro Annigoni is a 2009 piece in The Florentine that gives no sources. Everything else I've been able to find points to either Wikipedia, or the Florentine article. The reference to Vanna Bonta was added to the Annigoni Wikipedia article on June 24, 2006, with no sources. Because there's no other reference anywhere for Bonta's modeling for Annigoni, I suspect the information flow goes:

Unsourced vanity addition to Annigoni's Wikipedia page --> Picked up by article author --> Article added to Wikipedia as a source

I'm deleting the reference and all mention of Annigoni from Vanna Bonta's page. If you have a solid reference that predates the 2006 addition to Wikipedia, please add it back in. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 21:01, 10 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Space Frontier Foundation article by James Pura

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There are three references to an article by James Pura: "Poets get nod from space pros," http://spacefrontier.org/2008/08/poets-get-nod-from-space-pros-without-poetry-its-all-hardware. This article and the other Bonta-related article by Pura are highly suspect. He does things like mistaking a prestigious Renaissance poetry group for a rather less prestigious modern group and repeating Bonta's false claim to have modeled for Frederick Hart. He also quotes Bonta's IMDB page as his source. His sources appear to be Bonta's own PR and probably Bonta herself, repeated without scrutiny--fine for a blog post, but not reliable enough for Wikipedia. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 21:14, 10 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Pergola Arte Lily Brogi Literary Awards

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La Pergola Arte is a cultural association and art gallery headed by Lilly Brogi. Searching for it by name turns up mostly announcements of its latest events or passing mentions in lists of other galleries and clubs, as well as mentions of the literary award in the bios of past winners. It has only nine mentions in Google News, most of which appear to be routine coverage of local events. Neither the gallery nor the award look notable. Unless someone else can find a source suggesting otherwise, I'm going to remove this award from the page as non-notable. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 21:29, 10 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No one produced sources, so I'm removing this award. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 14:58, 12 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Camerata dei Poeti

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Despite the grand names the article associates with this group, I'm having trouble finding evidence that it's notable. It has a minimal web presence of its own (unless I have the wrong name for it) and the mentions on other pages and in the news are routine coverage of a cultural association. Mentions of Vanna Bonta in association with it are self-published.

There's what looks like a legit Italian news article about it, posted into a Google group by a sockpuppet and translated into English. Comparing the original with the translation is highly amusing. https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.italian/9rLOFV-nQec

Regarding Bonta's claim that they awarded her a gold medal in 1986, I'm having no luck confirming that the Camerata awards any medals at all. There are only scattered references to their granting any kind of awards. They do give regular presentations of various poets' work, but without a better knowledge of Italian poetry, I couldn't say whether the presentations are notable. Certainly they don't get much coverage. The Italian version of the article above says the Camerata presented Bonta's work, without mention of a prize--odd, because that's supposed to be the ceremony where Bonta got her medal. (Though note that at that point, the English article said she had received gold medals "in Europe.")

Unless someone can find evidence that the Camerata is notable, that they present notable awards, and that they presented an award to Bonta, I'm going to remove all references to her claims as non-notable (her presentation) or unfounded (her award). BenedictineMalediction (talk) 22:14, 10 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Upon reflection, I'm removing all references to the Camerata award immediately. There's no evidence that she received an award and plenty of evidence--some posted by her own sockpuppet--that it was just a presentation. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 23:26, 10 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]
No one produced sources, so I'm removing all mention of this group. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 14:59, 12 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The Cosmos Review

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I've found only one independent source for the Cosmos Review, and it's a small, defunct online magazine of dubious reliability. Normally I'd leave the Cosmos Review section in the article, but since the point of the current edit is to trim the article down to what can be supported in independent, reliable sources, I'm going to remove it unless someone can produce another source. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 15:23, 11 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No one produced sources, so I'm removing all mention of this topic. BenedictineMalediction (talk) 17:11, 13 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Death

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How and why did such a beautiful lady die relatively young?♦ Dr. Blofeld 16:35, 25 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

COI

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One of 30+ articles created for pay. I have tagged this for COI; the tag can can come off after an independent editor reviews for NPOV and sourcing. Please leave a note here when you do that. Jytdog (talk) 04:25, 8 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]