User talk:The Fat Man Who Never Came Back

For older posts, see this version.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 03:11, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

November 2008

Please do not create malicious redirects. They are disruptive and are considered vandalism, and have been reverted. If you would like to experiment, please use the sandbox. Thank you. ηoian ‡orever ηew ‡rontiers 03:44, 28 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Did this jackanapes just Twinkle me? At least he didn't Huggle me. I'm hard at work on my candidate questions, so please stop a-noian me.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 05:18, 28 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

While none are apparent in your recent contributions, this does bring to mind the time I observed you make a redirect called "_____". I won't let you sweep that under the carpet during the upcoming election. Respectfully, –Outriggr § 04:24, 28 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

______ was a great Pryor routine. If you want malicious redirects, check out the author of gaycation and assgrabbery. And Outriggr, you've got some nerve showing up here empty-handed. Isn't there something you were supposed to do for me (clears throat needily)? I haven't been spending hours scoping material on Commons for nothing.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 05:18, 28 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, and if you haven't made any conceptual breakthroughs, I will settle for an enormous, garish .gif file with huge block letters blinking on some fat guy. Remember, friend, this is a privilege--don't think I won't bring my commissions elsewhere!--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 05:25, 28 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

No need to explain the finer qualities of ______ to me; I was only hoping that someone would raise a fuss (perhaps block you) without understanding "the context" and thereby make themselves look bad and you good, to help with your election. I haven't had any conceptual breakthroughs, no... but if there's one thing I appreciate, it's appreciation, and since you have amply noted that you liked the birthday pic (which was swell of you), it would make sense for me to direct more of my wasted 'creativity' in your direction, and do less of the talk-page poetry that generally gets archived without a word... –Outriggr § 02:28, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hm. After reading Arbitrators Gone Wild, perhaps I should be hard at work on that banner, as to increase my chances of having the requisite "friend in a high place". If making you that banner would get me in on ground zero with one "tranche" of the ol' (& fat) boys club, it's a start, and the least I could do. I hope you'll at least be able to recuse yourself from cases where appropriate without having to "think real hard". (And you want to be a part of that mess? I don't believe your pretensions to laziness.) P.S. I feel safer with the discussion above censored, if you don't mind. –Outriggr § 08:14, 30 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Heh, "Arbitrators Gone Wild." Now there's a video that I assure you would turn most stomachs. First of all, thank you for making 5 of the 400,000 kilobytes on my talk page family-friendly. I was actually thinking of you Saturday morning as I brilliantly and articulately answered Lar's questions (I shamaelessly tacked that last part onto my answer to question 9 in a deliberate effort to pander to the disillusioned likes of Whiskeydog). Yes, of course I will pull unscrupulous favors for you the moment I'm elected. Whatever you need. Anyone's bothering you, I'll send one my clerks over to redirect their user page to clown; it's an little trick Fred Bauder taught me--clowns are less massive but more terrifying than Grawp's enormous, page-moving member, I'm told. I'll also make sure you're invited to all the swell parties, IRC channels and Skypecasts. I'm glad you don't believe my pretnensions to laziness; were the voters to discover me in RL, lounging about my apartment for hours on end in odalisque position, munching on gribenes and neglecting wikimatters during a Keeping Up with the Kardashians marathon, they might find my scorching condemnations of the Committee's indolence hypocritical, to say the least. I had written a very funny line in this spot, but it's kind of gross and mean, so I have redacted it. We Arbitrators have to show a bit of restraint and discretion, you know. Now get to work on that banner.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 09:12, 30 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent. I do envy your lifestyle. You can replace the "Wild" link with essentially anything, mind you; which I write only to bring me to another point: I assume I will remain able to criticize the committee with you on it, at the same time as you fatten my goats. It's a lot to ask for a banner, don't you think?

Well, I'm sorry that's all Whiskeydog was to you. Maybe Whiskeydog felt stereotyped and that's why he left the project. Or maybe Whiskeydog was relieved that no one had to that point check-usered him and then subjected him to some kangaroo court where he was accused of breaking that murky and rather contradictory rule here that says "our project is fundamentally anonymous except that any one single human being must edit the site in a way which ensures that all his/her edits can be correlated to that individual consciousness, even though we have no idea who, what, or where it is". Now, Whiskeydog may not have hung out with the likes of Katherine d'Berg (other than one time when they met at the Society for Suppression of Vice's Apple-Bobbing Fundraiser [Whiskeydog blushed and went prostrate when he admitted to me that he had been turned on by, really, every aspect of it---he described in quite vivid detail the rhythmic motions, the ladies squinting as they returned to air, water dripping from their faces---and I said, please, save it for Dogriggr]), but there are some pretty hard-nosed sleuths around.

All this drek for an animated GIF [I am in a small minority that insists on jiff, thank you] that might begin "Why did The Fat Man cross the road?" and then fail to deliver an alternate joke-ending that is purposely even less funny and more Arb-Serious than the usual

joke-ending? I don't know, man. Animated GIFs are so passe', and I'd have to learn how to make one. Dated 10:15, 30 November 2008 (UTC)

Please, please archive your talk

This user supports **The Fat Man Who Never Came Back** for arb, and has it on good authority that he is quite the handsome fella IRL. Either way is fine, his charm and intellgence was never doubted and we need 20 more of him. He is the type of person I would go for a pint of black with IRL, and I cant say that about most on this website. He has *big* balls, and I hope he realised the importantce of the role he plays on WP, and that the content people here are hugely protective of the guns he holds

Ceoil (talk) 00:43, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for archiving your talk page. :-) --MZMcBride (talk) 03:46, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All my girlfriends and I will be voting for your candidacy. Please tell Ceiol that if he's gonna prance around naked on Wikipedia to at least provide us with better pics. If he needs any help, Shankbone has a lot of experience (with taking the pics, that is). Toodles! -- Poetlister (talk) 26:87, 2 December 2008

I also wish to register my wholehearted support for your enterprising candidacy. Ceiol has given me an idea, however, and I will also be nakedly short selling it. On the other hand, I've been actively talking up your candidacy with some like-minded friends of mine, and you can expect votes from them as well. -- Mantanmoreland (talk) 36:77, 2 December 2008

Got my vote! -- Samiharris (talk) 36:77, 2 December 2008

What a delightful surprise to see All My Friends, in one place at last. Everyone, even lepers and outcasts, is welcome in the Fat Man's salon. Poetlister, nubile and erstwhile Wikiquote administrator, sit down and have a sandwich. Ban-tanmoreland, can you recommend any good books about... never mind. Samiharris, to have won the support of such an independent-minded figure is humbling, to say the least. I find it odd that all of you appear to have made identical misspellings to Ceoil's name.... but right now I'm simply too starstruck to investigate further.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 10:52, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

FYI

Check your talk page history, revert if you wish.--Tznkai (talk) 08:20, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know what Moulton did see himself banned, but he's not unwelcome on my talk page.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 10:52, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'll admit to not being entirely sure myself - I am after all a heartless ~~beuracrat~~ whatever the non wikijargonized term would be. I suspected you might want to restore Moulton's comment to you, so I thought it only polite to notify you it was there. At any rate, I actually stopped by your talk page to say this; I read your candidate questions and answers, and they made me think.--Tznkai (talk) 00:16, 8 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Confidentiality question

The confidentiality question I was referring to was the one on the candidates summary page, which that page said you hadn't answered yet.Cynical (talk) 06:16, 6 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Marble Madness FAC

Hello, the Marble Madness FAC has become a bit stale and I was hoping you could further comment on the article. I replied to your first set of comments and was wondering if you had any other comments (good or bad) and suggestions. (Guyinblack25 ^talk 18:07, 9 December 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Thanks for the reminder. I'll have another look at the FAC on Friday if, if it's not too late by then. What are considered the main sticking points/obstacles at this point?--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 05:40, 11 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Jackson family

Hey, nice to see you cleaning out that article, BTW, both Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson are featured, there should be lot of good sources for you there. HAPPY EDITING. — Realist² 17:47, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Where do you think I got the footnotes? You think I did that research myself? ;-)--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 17:49, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Lol fair enough, if you need anything give me a shout, I know my Jackson stuff quite well. Enjoy. — Realist² 17:51, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It's the thought that counts

No, not those paltry holiday gifts of fruitcakes, underwear, and clean sweatsocks, that say, "You were on my mind when I went to visit the Dollar Bonanza", but the thought that is put into who the community decides to choose for their arbitrators, as well as what the community prioritizes in values. I appreciate good mental gymnastics, and I say "Bully for you!" Will you be running for admin now, or simply policing the police? Inquiring minds want to know. --Moni3 (talk) 13:47, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Nice to see my homeboy and fellow portly Mexican genius, Diego Rivera. The thought of an RfA doesn't tickle my fancy as much as that sultry unibrow, so, for now, I shall stick to making extraordinarily infrequent content contributions, "trolling" and issuing incisive personal attacks on the Wikipedia Review and on ArbCom talk pages. Hasta luego, The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 14:11, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

My apologies for the "All About Me, Me, Me" response on my talk ... your heart is as big as your wit and your waistline. Thank goodness for Moni, to remind me of my manners. Mr. Porcine, hearty congratulations for your strong showing in the election are in order; for a non-admin to finish as strong as you did shows the esteem in which you are held among the cognoscenti. I regret that other unfortunate affairs prevent me from attending the post-election party, and I hope the good food and drink flow freely. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 19:39, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What I wouldn't give for some pata negra. All TFM can afford in these, er, lean times is landjaeger and IPA.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 02:51, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I supported you despite you literally plotting my Wikicide and don't even get a shout out. Looks like I might have to bring back my enemies list, even if it causes collateral damage in the form of people getting blocked and such. --JayHenry (talk) 02:15, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, what do you expect after this ringing endorsement? I see you have conveniently disposed of the hurtful evidence, but those of us with access to deleted edits know the truth: that all you could muster on your ArbCom voting guide was a one-sentence fat joke!?! You're lucky I didn't revert your support vote on sight. In any case, I have adjusted my thank-you list substantially. It's the least I could do, after the way you pwned one of my most tenacious detractors the other day.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 02:51, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Darn song stuck in my head. Less than 24 hours after all those promises, you wiped me from your user page for a guy? Hmmm ... well, I'll share my ham with someone else this Christmas. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 00:33, 17 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

There are three things I dislike in this world 1) Outriggr 2) Coile Slaitne and 3) the obese. So it took a lot for me to muster the will for a support, especially difficult when all my heroes like Betacommand were opposing. The new list is much more to my liking. The gesture is somewhat inadequate, but nonetheless appreciated. XOXOX. --JayHenry (talk) 03:00, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I supported you with hope and still have have hope, as I know you are real. —Mattisse (Talk) 03:52, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

ArbCom 2008: wafer-thin comments...

File:The Fat Man Who Never Came Back.jpg

Artist's impression of forces that might make the Fat Man implode inappropriately

I voted, even though I didn't have what Apoc2400 calls "allegiances to various factions", and I've never been involved in an ArbCom ruling. Like Gatoclass, I only voted in respect of a handful of candidates. You were one of my three because (whether fat, thin, man or super[wo]man) I thought you'd be a useful member of ArbCom. Personally, I don't care whether you are an admin, but if you don't get in this year I think you should decide for the next 1-3 years: will you be the ambitious junior dean of an Ivy League/Oxbridge institution; or a confirmed outsider, or someone who sees Wikipedia as a deranged displacement activity that lets you sit on your D.Phil fence a little longer? IMO if you stand again next year and don't get in, then you should exit Wikipedia a.s.a.p. There are plenty of other places where your contributions will be appreciated. - Pointillist (talk) 00:10, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I thank you for kind support in this year's election, but I respectfully disagree with your last statement. Wikipedia is one of the few places where a loudmouthed, uneducated, unqualified rube such as myself can aspire to be a respected contributor of anything. That's why Wikipedia is currently a hothouse and paradise for clowns, obsessives, bullies, and social butterflies but too often a miserable experience for editors who actually know something. That was something I would have endeavored to change had I been selected an Arbitrator. I don't see an RfA or ACE2009 venture in my future. Instead, I have a great deal of pointy and disruptive hijinks and "trolling" planned. Or I might edit an article or two. But probably not. --The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 15:58, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Mephistopheles, I can't believe you're an uneducated rube, but if this is hell then just get out of it and finish your education, kick-start your career, learn origami or whatever. Please don't feel your fan club wants you to mess around being disruptive as a substitute for real life. Whatever you do, there's a wafer-thin mortar board for you if you make it to Wikimania 2010 in Oxford - Pointillist (talk) 23:28, 18 December 2008 (UTC).[reply]

Fat Man, what -- you're not already an ambitious junior dean at an Ivy League/Oxbridge institution (of higher learning, that is, not the other kind)? I'm sorry, I find that impossible to believe. This Brooklyn bum thing is an obvious cover story meant to preserve your career in academia, or perhaps at a humor magazine (where I'm sure they don't appreciate the diversion of your talents into a free website). And let me be the most recent visitor, but surely not the last, to mention: Fat Man, you da bomb. Now back to work. -- Noroton (talk) 17:29, 21 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Chin up, old boy

You gave them a run for their money; attained 140 support votes (s votes from SG, SV, Lar? dude), put in an outstanding performance on Q's for candidates, stimulated some interesting debate, made content editors proud, and more. You should feel very pleased with your self.

I see above you are thinking of writing an article or two. Why bother, we have what 250,0000,000 already. Great, 2 more so. I'd say keep on doing what you're doing, because if anybody represents the barely interest in, but still affected by, wiki-games silent majority, its TFM.

Anyway, enough about you: me watched 20 minutes of the remake of "The Man Who Came Back" tonight. Ug, they really should just let these things be. Its ham; you'll not be surprised to hear Billy Zane's acting hasn't improving with grey hair, jouls and a nice round tummy. Ceoil (talk) 22:08, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

My holidays tunes for you are here [1][2]. Ceoil (talk) 21:59, 21 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Happy New Year!

Not only did the late Mr. 2008 leave everything to her, but she's now available ... Oh, and may your new year be felicitous, serendipitous and full of all the other good -tous words in the thesaurus and none of the bad ones. -- Noroton (talk) 20:03, 4 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

new WP:RDREG userbox

This user is a Reference desk regular.

The box to the right is the newly created userbox for all RefDesk regulars. Since you are an RD regular, you are receiving this notice to remind you to put this box on your userpage! (but when you do, don't include the |no. Just say {{WP:RD regulars/box}} ) This adds you to Category:RD regulars, which is a must. So please, add it. Don't worry, no more spam after this - just check WP:RDREG for updates, news, etc. flaming lawye r^c 07:29, 5 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hey!

Resolved

I see you've lightened up on editing for a bit. Just a note to say you're missed. --David Shankbone 06:06, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi David. The Fat Man is suffering from a mild to moderate bout of seasonal affective disorder, further compounded by his not being laid for an undisclosed number of weeks. As the winter slogs along, along with his involuntary celibacy, The Fat Man's energy levels continue to hover around their historical nadir; he hopes, however, to be in working order soon and appreciates your kind words.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 07:52, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, Fat Man, if I had a job and could buy it for you, I would! Alas, we appear to be in the same boat, but for different reasons. Are you sure WP:WikiProject Sex isn't a good substitute? --David Shankbone 23:40, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I see only a deadlink. Having Blogger's remorse, are we? And, yes, though I--being a misanthrope, a layabout and a recluse--prefer the company of wikistrangers to RL friends, I am quite certain that WikiProject Sex would not offer suitable relief to my condition.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 04:00, 22 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Fat Man would like to unify his Wikimedia accounts

I would like to change my name from TheFatManWhoNeverCameBack to The Fat Man Who Never Came Back on Wikimedia Commons.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 03:06, 22 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I would also like to rename my account on Meta.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 03:12, 22 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Your Commons rename is complete. I regret to inform you that I can't be of this much help with regards to your lack of sex. Giggy (talk) 03:40, 22 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Gracias. I suspect you're too far away to be an effective panderer, anyway.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 03:50, 22 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - It is with some relief that I say I almost certainly am. Giggy (talk) 04:09, 22 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Birthday committee

They should have used {{Happy Birthday 3}} or {{Happy Birthday 9}}. Mike R (talk) 22:36, 2 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Fat Man Who Never Came Back was inducted into The Hall of The Greats

The inscription is in the description. --David Shankbone 05:26, 7 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the nice plaque, David! I'm no Mr. Goodman in terms of.... well, anything, but I adore his work, especially in Coen Brothers movies. What I wouldn't give for a Big Lebowski II, set around the time of 9/11.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 13:33, 7 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Who needs plaques?

Bah; Wiki has been abandoned by our favorite portly gentleman, no chuckles of late! My thoughts for your day (from my favorite witch who sold out to television); enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Npq9EXTo6g (Great green dress, I'd share it with Ceoil on his day but he prefers black, nice dog, someone should give Manuel some dance classes.) I hope you have a great day ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 12:28, 14 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I want to get you Blue Valentine from the same album, but you'll have to do with This. Skip the intro, it starts at 0:37, but only gets interesting at 2.46. Chistsakes indded. Come back soon. Ceoil (talk) 13:03, 14 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Too perfect, both of you. Don't come round much anymore but send my love.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 05:47, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have plenty of love; it's chuckles I want ! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 21:46, 6 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's that time of year again !!

See Museum of Bad Art (Moni's work) for April Foolery. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 21:46, 6 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

April Fool's help for DYK hook

Last April Fool's day I worked on the Ima Hogg feature article. (Adding references and carrying water.) This year I am creating a new article, Radio Hat, as a Did You Know entry. I would like your comments/help on the hook. I am asking you because the Ima Hogg introduction proved that you are an accomplish liar who can twist the truth beyond recognition.:-) Just what is needed for April Fool's Day. -- SWTPC6800 (talk) 23:42, 9 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That was Bad, Fat Man

You're a bad man. Mike R (talk) 13:52, 10 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Userbox

I just learned that you have trumpeted our fraternal relationship on an attack site. I have therefore determined that the same must be done on this site. To wit, I have added a userbox to your home page. And fret not, I have enlisted the Help Desk to fix the link color. Mike R (talk) 14:07, 10 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Do Not Revert. Mike R (talk) 14:08, 10 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Listen, bozo, I'm trying to keep a low profile. If you would like to add a Category:Siblings of The Fat Man Who Never Came Back to your stupid user page and that of the rest of my brothers, you go right ahead. But stay away from my userspace, or I'll have you blocked.

Also, some idle passers-by may wonder how many active Wikipedian brothers I have. The answer is OVER EIGHTEEN HUNDRED!!!!!--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 14:13, 10 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]