Talk:Rancho Tehama shootings

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Expanding the lead section to be more compelling[edit]

Hi, y'alls (WWGBIridescentFettlemap86WikiEditorBayAreaWikiMichaelh2001PvObersteinJax 0677PlanetDeadwingQuackGuru) and any other interested editors. The lead section needs a lot of work to meet our Manual of Style Lead Section Guidelines to make it more compelling. Here is a handy supplement to help nurture a satisfactory lead. Happy editing. Having fun! Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:14, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, Jax 0677. I will, but I wanted to call in the troops! Anything you can bring to the table is a good thing. Having fun! Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 16:00, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not familiar enough with the topic to really have anything useful to add. My general rule when it comes to article leads is "a bright 14 year old with no prior knowledge of the incident, who read only the lead, would come away knowing what happened, why the incident is considered significant, and (once the dust has settled) what the consequences were". I concur with the WP:BEBOLD advice above, and would also say "make sure you come back in a month or so and reassess" as by then there will be a better picture of whether it prompted any proposed changes in the law, redesign of buildings etcetera. ‑ Iridescent 12:30, 21 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, Iridescent. Read WP:LEADCREATE, then pick some facts from each article section and salt them into the lead. No subject knowledge is needed. There is even a template at that page for creating a lead in such a fashion. Having fun! Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 04:56, 22 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Rancho Tehama Reserve shootings/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 19:45, 12 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Review[edit]

Will review. Stay tuned! MX () 19:45, 12 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria[edit]

  • Style – Exceptional.
  • Verifiability – No issues here. Sources are reliable and everything is cited inline.
  • Neutrality – Very neutral in tone.
  • Stability – No large updates in recent months.
  • Illustration – Images found and licensed correctly.
  • Copyright – All good here, too.

Lead[edit]

  • The shootings led to domestic and international debate over the control of ghost guns and gun-licensing law in the United States. – Where does it mention international debates in the body paragraphs?

Infobox[edit]

  • Coroner: Tehama County Coroner's Office – I know it's "obvious", but this isn't cited anywhere in the body paragraphs. To be included here, it needs a ref elsewhere per WP:INFOBOXCITE.

Shootings[edit]

  • Barbara Glisan (aka Gilsan) – I made a change here. Please check it.
  • His motive is unclear.[22][23][24][25][26] – No need to cluster so many sources here. One or two is fine. Consider removing the citekill.
  • The first shooting report to 9-1-1 was placed at 7:54 a.m., and Neal died at 8:19 a.m.—a duration of 25 minutes.[28] – I like this here. I would say you should remove "The 25-minute" mention before so it doesn't seem redundant.

Victims[edit]

  • Mercy Medical Center in Redding, or UC Davis Medical Center in Davis for treatment.[2][15][23][24][25][26] – Same here with the citekill. Consider merging or trimming.
  • Victims' families were left struggling to pay for medical expenses and some turned to online fundraisers. – Is there mention in the source or in others about how much money they were able to gather?

Perpetrator[edit]

  • Born: Cary, North Carolina – The body paragraphs say he was raised in Cary, not born there. Please make sure it's one or the other.

Location[edit]

  • A bit too detailed and may not require a section in itself. I think the distances to other cities/towns may not be too relevant for this article. You already mentioned it is a rural and isolated community. Perhaps you can add the The community is located 120 miles (190 kilometers) northwest of Sacramento, 25 miles (40 km) southwest of Red Bluff, and 25 miles (40 km) northwest of Corning. as a footnote. What are your thoughts on that?

Aftermath[edit]

  • Despite widespread criticism of the Sheriff's Department's handling of the case – Why was there widespread criticism? Can you expand on this?


Decision: fail[edit]

  • No response in over 7 days. Article fails GA. MX () 17:43, 30 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

As a victim (one of the students) the school shooting happened on the 14th[edit]

So yeah 97.114.175.12 (talk) 03:46, 30 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]