Talk:Reunion (30 Rock)
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GA Review
[edit]- This review is transcluded from Talk:Reunion (30 Rock)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: BelovedFreak 22:19, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- Gave it a slight copyedit, just a couple of queries for clarity. A couple of tweaks in references.
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- No problems
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- Broad in coverage and focused.
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Neutral
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No problems
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- No problems
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- No dead links or links to disambiguation pages.
Plot
[edit]- Could there be a bit of an explanation as to why Geiss was in a coma, or how long? (Just in this section, the lead's fine)
- I think I got it. -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 14:25, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
- It's not immediately clear why Jack is distraught that Geiss is remaining CEO; could you make it clearer that he was supposed to get the job (or whatever it is that's happening there!)
- Added.
- "For upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna start doing his page duties..." - this sentence is not quite right grammatically because it suggests that T & J did the upstaging. It needs something extra at the beginning, like To pay him back for upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna... or As revenge for upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna...
- Done.
Cultural references
[edit]- I didn't get the Obama reference, until I read her biog and saw that she went to Princeton. Could you clarify that? (remember your non-US audiences!)
- Of course.
- "often making out" - this sounds a bit too informal, but I don't have an immediate suggestion as you've just said "kissing". Unless, you just have something like Liz's former classmates play Seven minutes in heaven, a game in which two people are selected to go into a closet or other dark enclosed space and do whatever they like for seven minutes, often kissing.
- Done.
- "Later, Liz's classmates plan to Carrie her on stage..." - this is also informal, and a little obscure to the uninitiated, perhaps could be solved simply by quotation marks, like Later, Liz's classmates plan to "Carrie" her on stage
- Done.
- "The bucket of blood is dumped, but misses her entirely." - again, I feel that "dumped" is a bit informal, but feel free to disagree. Also, I think it's clearer if that sentence comes after the explanatory one (that begins "This is a reference to...")
- I just removed it. The way I see it, it's better not to have it like that. IMO. IDK. What do you think?
- Yeah, that's fine. I agree.--BelovedFreak 14:42, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
- I just removed it. The way I see it, it's better not to have it like that. IMO. IDK. What do you think?
References
[edit]- Could you link the first instance of IMDb & spell it out, and delink the second & third instances of Entertainment Weekly?
- Done.
- Not required now, but for further development, recommend adding publishers to all refs where possible.
Another good job, putting on hold.--BelovedFreak 22:19, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
- Ok, good job - passed! --BelovedFreak 14:42, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, it is most appreciated. :) -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 14:46, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
External links modified
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- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20090603034403/http://www.tvguide.com/Episode-Recaps/30-rock/Reunion-Larry-Braverman-1000586.aspx to http://www.tvguide.com/episode-recaps/30-rock/reunion-larry-braverman-1000586.aspx
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