A fact from Thays Ferrer appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 14 September 2022 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
Did you know... that 22-year-old Brazilian women's football forward Thays Ferrer was a member of club teams that won national championships in four different countries?
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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by CSJJ104 (talk) 22:00, 11 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
... that 22-year old Brazilian Thays Ferrer overcame prejustice at home, became a professional women's footballforward, played in Portugal, South Korea, Turkey, and will play now in Japan? Source: "A história da jovem Thays Ferrer, de apenas 19 anos, que venceu o preconceito dentro de casa e está conseguindo vencer como jogadora de futebol profissional. " (in Portuguese)[1], "A barbalhense Thays Ferrer, de 22 anos, segue para mais um desfio em sua carreira como atleta profissional de futebol feminino longe do Brasil. Ela agora é atleta do Diosa Izumo, do Japão. Este é o quinto país em que ela atuará.", "Thays jogou em Portugal, no Paio Pires, temporada 2019/2020 e CA Ouriense, temporada 2020/2021, na Liga BPI, na Coréia do Sul, no Hwacheon KSPO, temporada 2021, e sagrou-se campeã da Liga Turca pelo ALG Spor, na temporada 2022. O Diosa Izumo tem como objetivo se consolidar no cenário do futebol japonês. " (in Portuguese)[2]
Created by CeeGee (talk). Self-nominated at 09:17, 27 August 2022 (UTC).[reply]
Long enough (just barely), new enough. I don't like the fact that there are a bunch of paragraphs with one or two sentences, giving the article a very fragmented look. The proposed hook is also not the best, "She became a footballer after she has overcome prejudice at home" is indeed in the source, but says nothing about the prejudice she was facing. Her parents didn't want her to play football, maybe? Honours should be sourced as well. I think there's still some work needed before this is ready. Tone 19:21, 7 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Tone: Thank you for your review. It is recommended that the reviewer posts a note to the nominator or pings him in case of some issues to be addressed. I only became aware of your arguments by accident. Anyway, I grouped the subgroups complained under one group titled "Foreign countries"., and added references to "Honours", which I normally find not necessary because they are all sourced above. For the formulation of the hook, I don't want to add my POV to something, which is not explicitly given. CeeGee 08:43, 9 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@CeeGee: Ah, sorry for not pinging you last time :/ I think the merging of the sections is a good idea. As for the blurb, perhaps you could try something more catchy, like ... that 22-year old Brazilian Thays Ferrer was a member of teams that won national championships in four different countries? Something like that, and we avoid the confusion about the "prejudice at home". Tone 09:10, 9 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Tone: OK, thank you also for your suggestion. Check please ALT1. CeeGee 10:28, 9 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
ALT1: ... that 22-year old Brazilian women's footballforwardThays Ferrer was a member of teams that won national championships in four different countries? CeeGee 10:28, 9 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
All fine now, good job! Tone 18:09, 9 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Long enough (just barely), new enough. I don't like the fact that there are a bunch of paragraphs with one or two sentences, giving the article a very fragmented look. The proposed hook is also not the best, "She became a footballer after she has overcome prejudice at home" is indeed in the source, but says nothing about the prejudice she was facing. Her parents didn't want her to play football, maybe? Honours should be sourced as well. I think there's still some work needed before this is ready. Tone 19:21, 7 September 2022 (UTC)
All fine now, good job! Tone 18:09, 9 September 2022 (UTC)