Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Featured log/August 2010

August 2010

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 19:31, 3 August 2010 [1].

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Transandinomys

Nominator(s): Ucucha 05:48, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

This is a genus of two rice rat species (both already FAs) from the Central–South American border zone. The article summarizes what is known on the two species, focusing on the aspects that are known for both. The article was GA reviewed by Sasata and as always I look forward to any comments here. Ucucha 05:48, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

Comment - external links check out okay; pinna needs disambiguating dabs fine too. PL290 (talk) 09:54, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

• Done, thanks for the check. Ucucha 09:57, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

Source comments: No problems. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 00:37, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

• Image check All appropriate with correct licences. Not essential, but I'd be inclined with derivative works like the maps to say briefly what you have done. Don't bother this time, just a suggestion for future ref. Jimfbleak - talk to me? 05:30, 1 August 2010 (UTC)
  • Thanks. Do you mean I should say I added the big red blob to the map? That seems self-evident to me. Ucucha 07:18, 1 August 2010 (UTC)

Support: I thought the article was already in very good shape when I did the GA review. A few suggestions: Sasata (talk) 18:54, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the support and review! Ucucha 19:03, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

• fundamental number is currently an undefined redlink
  • Reworded.
• perhaps change the table title from "Measurements" to "Dimensions", and remove the heading "Measurement" (or change to something else, as "measurement" doesn't describe what's underneath, like a column heading should)
  • Not sure why "Dimensions" would be better; the tables in my sources are usually if not always labeled "Measurements", and I think it's a clear and unambiguous term. I agree that "Measurement" is awkward, and I have transposed the table to get rid of it (I noticed that I had placed a similar table horizontally at Miniopterus aelleni, and it looks good).
• "the hypoflexus ... is better-developed in Euryoryzomys than in Transandinomys." "better" seems almost like a value judgment, how about simply "more developed"?
  • Can't see the value judgment, but "more" sounds good.
• "T. talamancae, which reaches up to 1525 m (5000 ft) above sea level," reaches -> is found
  • Done
• link deforestation
  • Done

• Support Comments Oh no, I sense a ratty FT in the undergrowth. Some nitpicks: Jimfbleak - talk to me?

Amazing after all these years there are only four biology FTs Jimfbleak - talk to me? 15:09, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

• Too late, it's already been promoted. Thanks for the review! Ucucha 13:05, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

• The upperparts—brownish in T. bolivaris and reddish in T. talamancae—are much darker than the whitish underparts. Both are characterized by very long vibrissae (whiskers), but those of T. bolivaris are particularly long. — (a) add "species" after "both" since subject has become detached. (b) on my screen the parenthetical bit is preceded by an ndash and followed by an mdash (c) Is it possible to replace one of the "longs"?

• (a) Done; (b) They're really both emdashes; (c) Can't think of any suitable synonym.

• Species of Hylaeamys and Euryoryzomys also differ in some details of the skull and teeth and have shorter whiskers. — differences from Transandinomys rather than between each other?

• From T., clarified.

• They are in no apparent danger — perhaps "of extinction" unless they have no predators...

• Done; not sure whether it isn't redundant, though.

• ... if they do, do we know what? They're rats — something must eat them

• I haven't found any records; of course, it's very likely that they're eaten by smaller mammalian carnivores and larger raptors. Ucucha 13:05, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

• I have the same problem, I know they are eaten by Sparrowhawks, cats and weasels, getting a RS ref to a particular predator is another matter. Changed to support above Jimfbleak - talk to me? 15:09, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

• Support - nice, succinct and polished. Nothing I can add really after Sasata's and jim's review. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:16, 1 August 2010 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 19:31, 3 August 2010 [2].

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Pathways into Darkness

Nominator(s): Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 12:49, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Back in 1993, the video game developer Bungie consisted of two University of Chicago students who worked out of their apartment, doing everything by themselves. Then they found critical and commercial success with one of the Macintosh platform's first shooter games: Pathways into Darkness. Because of Pathways, Bungie was able to expand to a real office, hire employees, and start themselves on a path that would result in the creation of a nearly $2 billion franchise. But that's jumping ahead of this article. It's short and sweet, and while I wish I had been able to dig up more content for the reception section, it hits all the important notes. Enjoy. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 12:49, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

• "published by Bungie Software Products Corporation (now Bungie)" Is this necessary? The name of the company was Bungie, and is still Bungie. The particulars of the full corporate name may have changed but that's hardly relevant here. That former full name is mentioned only once on Bungie, and relegated to an infobox. --Golbez (talk)
  • At the time, it was called Bungie Software Products Corporation (you can barely make it out on the Pathways cover). When it was shortened to Bungie is hard to claim, because it didn't incorporate officially until 2007. So no, it's not essential, but I think from a historical perspective it's useful and precise. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:41, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Comment No dab links or dead externals. The page apparently has a link to "Pathways Into Darkness" (with a capital "I") that links back; I can't find it in the article or navbox, so it may have been fixed. --an odd name 18:30, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

• • Mm40 got to it and fixed the navbox. I was wondering where that redirect was :) Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:41, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Sources comments

• Different date formats used. Compare 1 and 6 with 11 and 16
• 15 lacks a retrieval date

Otherwise, no problems with these references. Brianboulton (talk) 16:57, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

The ones formatted differently are done so because there's no specific day that they were released on—they were monthly releases. I'm not sure about putting them in YYYY-MM-DD format, since saying "1993-09-01" might be incorrect for all I know. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:05, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

• Some notes:
  • The article switches between "Pathways into Darkness", "Pathways Into Darkness", and "Pathways". I don't know which capitalization is correct so I'll leave that to you. Also, the shortening to "Pathways" is a little awkward. Do you have a source that it's an accepted abbreviation? Otherwise, it might be best to use the full title whenever it's mentioned and use "the game" or some variation when it starts getting too long.
  • The player moves, dodges fire, uses weapons and items --- needs an extra "and"
  • player can absorb a certain amount of damage, but once their health --- "player" is singular, "their" is plural; you may want to reword to avoid the possessive
  • rid the player of poison and heal them --- same, perhaps "and replenish health"?
  • Another type of items are crystals --- avoid passive voice, when possible. There are other instances which you may want to adjust, but this one was particularly noticeable
  • a couple more "theirs" in the plot section
  • when the nuclear device was set to explode --- literary present
  • The final plot was occupied a middle ground --- there's an extra word here somewhere, you choose which one
  • designed to work on any Macintosh or better --- what does "or better" mean? I assume "Macintosh" here refers to some version of the many Macintosh computers, so some specificity would be nice
• Other than those, it looks good. Conditional support. Axem Titanium (talk) 11:37, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
  • Thanks very much for the review. I've tried to comb through the article and discuss actions in terms of generic and nonspecific players (since that allows for generic and non-gender-specific diction as well). I've consistently changed the nomenclature to Pathways after the first mention of the full title in the article body (the capitalized "I" in the title was due to a page rename that I didn't notice.)
    • Looks good. A fun read, I'm happy to support! Axem Titanium (talk) 15:36, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

Support - Looking through everything in the article, I believe that its FA material. GamerPro64 (talk) 03:02, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

• Support comments -okay then, if you've looked and nothing else has come up from a reliable source, then I guess it's got everything sourceable that can possibly be in it, in which case I can't see anything else to improve. righto sunshine...prepare for a working-over....Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:27, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

Players can absorb a certain amount of damage, but once their health reaches zero, the game ends. -ummm, are there save points? I have often seen some discussion on how frequent or otherwise save points are so some detail here is warranted methinks. I't be fairly unsual to have to start right from the beginning (?)

Any other out-of-universe discussion of inspiration in any commentary? e.g. the idea has similarities with Cthulhu (ancient gods rising yada yada)

Does anyone cite this game as an influence on later works? often games that are highly regarded leave some sort of legacy.

Other than that, looking good. Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:39, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

I've tweaked the bit about the game ending to discuss resuming your game... is it clear enough, or should I go into more detail? I also found an interesting post on the subject by Jones,[3] but I'm not sure how reliable old newsgroup postings are (or if it really fits that much into other development content.) As for influence and inspiration, I wasn't able to find anything else beyond very surface discussions. The problem is that Pathways is largely forgotten as it was A) an old Mac game, and B) superseded by Bungie's own Marathon games later on. Discussion about, say, the influence of early shooters generally focuses on Marathon, for instance. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 13:21, 2 August 2010 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 19:31, 3 August 2010 [4].

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John Brownlee as Attorney-General of Alberta

Nominator(s): Steve Smith (talk) 19:12, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

Hi, FAC! Long time no see! Anyway, I'm taking some time off from my busy routine of pleasing all of the people none of the time to bring you this article, part of my ongoing attempt to bring to featured status everything related to John Edward Brownlee, itself part of my ongoing attempt to bring to featured status everything related to Premiers of Alberta; I'm really such an interesting person, you'd think that I'd have at least one friend outside of Wikipedia. I digress.

The article has gone a good article review from User:Arsenikk, and a peer review from User:Finetooth. One concern I anticipate surrounds sourcing, and I would like to address it pre-emptively:

A fairly lengthy defense of this article's sources

1. "This article relies extensively on a single source; doesn't that fail featured article criterion 1(c)? No. 1(c) requires "a thorough and representative survey of the relevant literature on the topic". John Brownlee has been the subject of a single book-length biography, Franklin Foster's catchily named "John E. Brownlee: A Biography". He has been the subject of two chapter-length biographies. One of these is in "Alberta Premiers of the Twentieth Century", and is also written by Foster; it is in many respects a condensed version of the book-length biography. The other is in Tim Byrne's "Alberta's Revolutionary Leaders", and is quite short. I have thoroughly reviewed both of these, and have incorporated material from them in the article. Besides material about Brownlee directly, the aforementioned "Alberta Premiers of the Twentieth Century" includes a chapter on Herbert Greenfield, the Premier under whom Brownlee served as Attorney-General. That chapter too is used where possible, though it is also probably the weakest chapter in the book (see, for example, Finkel, Alvin (September 2005). "Alberta Premiers of the Twentieth Century (review)". The Canadian Historical Review. 86 (3): 557–559.). I would rather have more diversity of sources here, but any article using "a thorough and representative survey of the relevant literature" on John Brownlee is going to lean very heavily on Franklin Foster's work. 2. Your major source is self-published. Doesn't that fail featured article criterion 1(c)? No. While Foster's biography is indeed self-published, WP:SELFPUBLISH states that self-published material may "be acceptable when produced by an established expert on the topic of the article whose work in the relevant field has previously been published by reliable third-party publications". Foster is a history instructor at the post-secondary level. His expertise on this subject matter is testified to by the decision to have him write the chapter on Brownlee in "Alberta Premiers of the Twentieth Century", which is published by a major university press and edited by a university historian. Moreover, the biography has been reviewed in scholarly journals ("John E. Brownlee, a biography." Alberta History 45.1 (1996): 27.), cited in scholarly papers ([5]), and is itself a distillation of Foster's doctoral thesis for which he earned a PhD in history from Queen's University. In view of these facts, I believe that Foster's biography is acceptable for use as a major source in this article.

With that dispensed with, I look forward to reviewers' comments. Steve Smith (talk) 19:12, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

• Comment—no dab links, no dead external links. Ucucha 19:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

• Sources comments: The above explanation is satisfactory; relatively obscure subjects have relatively few scholarly sources. I tried hard to find the odd format glitch but couldn't. All sources OK, no outstanding issues. Brianboulton (talk) 18:41, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

Support - I do have some comments/concerns/nitpicks which (IMHO) would make this article even better, but they certainly would not stand in the way of my support.

• Second sentence seems quite long, and as that paragraph has only the two sentences I would suggest making the semi-colon a period (this also applies to some similarly lengthy sentences and some similarly short paragraphs later in the article)
• Mention in-text that UGG is a grain distributor?

• Not sure that's necessary; the specific nature of the UGG's operations doesn't seem important for the understanding of this article, and individual readers can click on the wikilink if they're curious.

• Did the UFA MLAs initially reject Brownlee because of his legal background, or did he just believe they would? Inconsistent between sections
• "often, Greenfield signed" -> "Greenfield often signed"

• Done.

• Use C$ on first occurrence

• Done

• "Brownlee cooled enthusiasm", "struck a commission" - wording
• Be consistent in using Henry Wise Wood vs H. W. Wood

• Done

• Link short tons?

• Unfortunately, I don't think I can do so, since the word appears as a result of the {{convert}} template.

• It is technically possible, you just need to add a parameter

• Thanks; done.

• Author link for JohnEBrownlee.jpg has expired

• Fixed

• You explain early that Boyle was the Liberal leader, so you need not re-explain in the natural resources section

• Fixed

• "is obtaining from the natural resources" - is that the wording in the source? Might want to double-check

• Fixed - the crucial word "obtaining from you the natural resources" was missing.

• Check that you don't link the same term more than once in article text (I noticed BNA Act, Reid and CPR, but there may be others)

• Fixed those ones, and will keep an eye out for others.

• Crerar, King, UGG...

Got those. Will still keep an eye out for others.

• CPR was not known as CP until the 1960s

• Fixed

• "the government passed the Drought Relief Act.[48] The Act" - either lowercase or italicize Act, as here it represents the same proper noun (also occurs with another Act later)

• Lowercased

• "Brownlee brainchild", "cooled expectations" - wording
• "their willingness to make loans would not disappear all together" - should be "altogether"

• Fixed

• "Angry over the federal government's decision to allow the first incarnation of the Canadian Wheat Board (CWB) to lapse, many Albertan farmers began to advocate the "pooling" of their wheat, which would render individual farmers less susceptible to the machinations of grain speculators by introducing collective marketing, with each farmer receiving an averaged, identical price." - very long sentence
• "Sapiro proclaimed that a wheat pool could be organized in a few weeks, though both Brownlee and Reid disagreed and returned to Canada committed to caution.[54] However, in their absence the Edmonton Journal and Calgary Herald had invited Sapiro to tour Alberta, and his speeches stirred up extravagant expectations among UFA members for immediate action, in time for the new organization to market the 1923 crop" - bit confused by the sequence here. Did Sapiro come before Brownlee returned? Also, given the (apparently) small audience for Sapiro's initial claim, "proclaimed" seems like the wrong word
• "since the beginning of 1922" - why not just "in 1922"?

• Done

• Ref 73: not the title and publisher listed on the page itself, and it has a "last updated" date

• Fixed title and publisher. Couldn't find a field in {{cite web}} for "last updated" but it could be that I'm blind.

• I believe you can use the "date" parameter for that...somehow

• Right, duh. Done now.

• Byrne: publisher should be Detselig Enterprises Ltd

• Done

• In References, why is University of Regina only linked once while Regina, Saskatchewan is linked both times?

• Fixed

• Were only spirits legalized for purchase and home consumption, and was only beer allowed to be sold in taverns? Nikkimaria (talk) 04:31, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

• That wording reflects my source. Apparently, according to Alberta prohibition plebiscite, 1923 (whose existence I just discovered), everything was legalized for home consumption, but only beer was licensed for sale by taverns. Since my source doesn't make that clear, I've just truncated things to "...the end of prohibition" and inserted a wikilink to the referendum article (which is sourced to contemporary newspaper accounts, which I'd rather avoid using in this article, since they're essentially primary sources). Steve Smith (talk) 16:30, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your support and review; I've responded to your concerns above as I've addressed them (and will continue to do so as I address the others). Steve Smith (talk) 14:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

• Support. Is there any chance of getting an outside view of Brownlee's role through the biographies of others (particularly others of a different political party), such as Boyle? Other than that, very carefully crafted work. hamiltonstone (talk) 03:09, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

• Thanks for your review and support. Unfortunately, there is no book-length biography of Boyle, and I'm not even aware of any chapter-length biographies; indeed, I'm working on his article sporadically, and I expect that my major source for his post-1921 career will be...Foster's biography of Brownlee. Really, the only contemporary of Brownlee's (in provincial affairs, at least) who is the subject of a book-length biography is Henry Wise Wood, and i. I've used that biography already, and ii. the intersection between Brownlee's life and Wood's was not primarily in the political domain, which makes the Wood biography somewhat less useful in an article about Brownlee's political career. Steve Smith (talk) 13:42, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

• OK, thanks for covering that. hamiltonstone (talk) 00:17, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

WP:FA Criteria 3 met Fasach Nua (talk) 18:03, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

Support

• so Brownlee was acclaimed as Ponoka's MLA December 9, 1921 - This seems like an interesting and unusual detail; could you give a brief explanation of why he was acclaimed, rather than having to run for a seat?
• C$100, $5 million, etc. It would be helpful if you could estimate what these values would be in Canadian dollars today.
• In 1924, unsatisfied with Greenfield's response, he made an example of his own department, cutting staff and taking a strict approach to spending. In 1923, he found an ally - these events would make more sense to me if given in chronological order.
• three cents per acre - should probably provide a conversion here.
• Emil Picariello, Florence Lassandra - should probably avoid the two redirects here.

Well-written, well-sourced, interesting read. The issues I've raised are small, and I'm sure easily dealt with. Jayjg ^(talk) 05:18, 2 August 2010 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.