Talk:Afrique Victime

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Afrique Victime article.
This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject.

Put new text under old text. Click here to start a new topic.
New to Wikipedia? Welcome! Learn to edit; get help.

Article policies

Find sources: Google (books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL

Afrique Victime has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.

Article milestones
Date	Process	Result
July 8, 2024	Good article nominee	Not listed
August 28, 2024	Good article nominee	Listed

Current status: Good article

Albums

This article is within the scope of WikiProject Albums, an attempt at building a useful resource on recordings from a variety of genres. If you would like to participate, visit the project page, where you can join the project and/or contribute to the discussion.AlbumsWikipedia:WikiProject AlbumsTemplate:WikiProject AlbumsAlbum articles

Africa: Niger Low‑importance

	Africa portal This article is within the scope of WikiProject Africa, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Africa on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.AfricaWikipedia:WikiProject AfricaTemplate:WikiProject AfricaAfrica articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.
	This article is supported by WikiProject Niger.

Regional and national music Low‑importance

	Afrique Victime is within the scope of the WikiProject Regional and national music, an attempt at building a resource on the music of all the peoples and places of the world. Please visit the project's listing to see the article's assessment and to help us improve the article as we push to 1.0.Regional and national musicWikipedia:WikiProject Regional and national musicTemplate:WikiProject Regional and national musicRegional and national music articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.

The following references may be useful when improving this article in the future:

A request has been made for this article to be peer reviewed to receive a broader perspective on how it may be improved. Please make any edits you see fit to improve the quality of this article.

New article - avenues for expansion

I created this article as a stub with basic information to be added on. If you'd like to help expand it, here are some ideas:

Chart performance - I've tried, and I don't know where to find this information.
Personnel - haven't found a reliable source yet.
Album ratings infobox
Description of album content and style

Riverhugger (talk) 07:20, 9 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Afrique Victime/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: TheNuggeteer (talk · contribs) 04:48, 5 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: PerfectSoundWhatever (talk · contribs) 16:26, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry User:TheNuggeteer, but this article is a long way from meeting the GA criteria, so I would have to quickfail it. It fails GA criterion #3, due to not being broad in its coverage. Almost all sections are undeveloped, and sources clearly exist to build out these sections. Here are a few points if you still seek to bring this article to GA:

There is no information on when/how the album was recorded, and what happened during the writing process. Done (needs checking)
There is no information on any of the songs, how they are structured, how they sound, what instruments they use, what genres they are. Done (needs checking)
The rock/blues/assouf part is unsourced (big no-no for genres, see WP:GWAR) and is inexplicably under "track listing" Done
Reception is three sentences despite there being ~10 full length reviews in reputable publications. Done
Personnel list is unsourced Done
Reception should be higher than charts. You can use the ordering of the headers in MOS:ALBUM as a guide. Done
Information about their touring would be useful. As well, a section on the release. Done (needs checking)
The album's title should not be bolded in "Background"; it is already bolded in the lead. Done
Should be more information about the "companion documentary" Done
Why is there a header2 "Afrique Victime" under "Meaning"? No reason to make a subsection when its the only thing in the parent section. Done
Discuss themes, political context, etc. in more depth. Done (needs checking)
"Sexism" should not be capitalized Done
Other than the metacritic sentence being gramatically poor, "a popular song/album reviewer" is incorrect. Metacritic is a review aggregator, not a review site itself. Also, I think that the ranking was referring to user scores. (I'm not sure we use that) Done
The infobox gives a recording location of "Niamey, Niger", but the prose gives many others. Keep in mind we usually only use allmusic's prose, not database entries. Done
Add accompanying images to help illustrate the text. See Windswept Adan or It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water for example articles. Done

Quick spotcheck

from this version.

ref 4: only has the rating. all good. Done
ref 9: this is a duplicate ref with [1]. references check out. Done
ref 17: all good. If you use this for prose, (which you should) add the author (Allison Hussey) Done
ref 31: just a chart, all good Done
ref 34: another chart, all good Done

I would recommend for you to read other album GAs/FAs to get an idea of the level of quality required for these articles. Short album GAs are very rare, because I find that music publications tend to write longer articles, and usually there are interviews to be found. For example, I wrote an album GA on an album with essentially only 3 reviews (Don't Wake Me Up) and I still was able to write out each section into a good paragraph and cover all the broad points. If you are intending to continue improving this article, please feel free to message me on my talk page, as I have decent experience writing album articles. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 16:26, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PerfectSoundWhatever: Do you think an interview by Reverb would fix the recording process problem? I've heard that interviews are sometimes not reliable. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 23:34, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Note: I added it anyway, be free to revert it. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 23:58, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The Reverb page should be fine. The Reception section should be above track listing and personnel. The T in the Touring header should be uncapitalized.

Keep in mind: When I said the article lacks information on X, I mean a comprehensive, well-researched paragraph should be included, not a couple of sentences. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 01:45, 9 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

User:PerfectSoundWhatever, I saw the review here before I saw the article, and I agree with you completely. I'm going to make some MOS edits. BTW I saw them last month here in Birmingham: great show. Drmies (talk) 01:53, 9 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PerfectSoundWhatever: I want to ask what you mean by WP:ALLMUSIC, and "Keep in mind we usually only use allmusic's prose, not database entries." And I also finished the part about the songs, could you check it out? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 09:47, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

You should generally only use AllMusic's prose entries. That means the written text under "AllMusic Review". — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 17:45, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the response, I removed the database parts. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 10:14, 16 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PerfectSoundWhatever: and @Drmies: Finished with everything, just needs some checks, then I will start another nomination. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:29, 16 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Drmies @PerfectSoundWhatever Re-tagging. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 10:13, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Please don't. The paragraph I just removed is full of problems. Besides capitalization and writing, the four quotes are not actually in the article used to verify it, and the audience spoken of here wasn't reacting to the album, but to the band testing out material for the album. Pinging User:PerfectSoundWhatever. Drmies (talk) 13:37, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Just asking, do you think there are more problems? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 13:39, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The real problem is that you wrote that and stuck it in there. Someone who makes up four quotes, and totally misreads the reference (this is the second time), probably shouldn't be submitting and reviewing for GA. Drmies (talk) 14:19, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I agree with Drmies; the article is still far from GA. The sections are too short, and the prose/grammar is poor. One example of the former, the reception section should have the reviewers thoughts summarized into 1-2 sentences, not just the score. There are many capitalization errors: "Rock", "Motorcycle gangs", and "War crimes". You should be constantly comparing against passed GAs and FAs and look for the differences in paragraph structure, length, sourcing, and prose quality.

I don't think you have a grasp of what is required for a GA. I'm not sure you should continue attempting to nominate them. Your nominations are 5 fails (incl. 3 quickfails) and 0 passes. There are many other areas you can positively improve the wiki. If you still want to try to nominate them, I would suggest for you to carefully read through all of WP:GACR and Wikipedia:Nominating good articles. Read many other GAs and FAs and get a sense of the quality required. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 16:56, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I requested copyediting by the Guild of Copyeditors to fix the issue with the grammar, as you can see in the talk page, I'm trying to expand the article so every section can be, hopefully, developed. I myself have reviewed an article.

Thanks, 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 06:37, 21 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Do you think I should nominate after I put all the sources? All the problems might land the article on hold (probably), what do you think? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 05:29, 24 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

No. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 05:43, 24 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

Passed. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 01:18, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

This review is transcluded from Talk:Afrique Victime/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: TheNuggeteer (talk · contribs) 09:55, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Vigilantcosmicpenguin (talk · contribs) 22:00, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 22:00, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Prose is good.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Lead section summarizes the article. Layout is good. Does not contain weasel words or other words to watch.
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Has a list of references.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Reliable sources are cited inline.
	2c. it contains no original research.	Accurately reflects what is in sources about the album.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	No copyright violation; direct quotes are attributed.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Addresses the album's background, recording, release, promotion, reception, and themes.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Information is relevant to the album.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Mentions positive reviews appropriately, and does not embellish or editorialize the album's influence.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Article is stable.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Copyrighted image of album cover has obvious rationale. Other images are free.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Photos of performances are relevant.
	7. Overall assessment.	Good.

Quickfail criteria

1. Y
2. Y Although Earwig flags a 79.3% similarity, all the matches are quotes from Moctar. The article correctly attributes these quotes. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 15:49, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
3. Y No cleanup banners.
4. Y Article is stable.
5. Y A previous GA review quickfailed this article because the version at the time was not broad in its coverage. Since then, you have expanded the article significantly and addressed all the concerns brought up the first time.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 22:43, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Vigilantcosmicpenguin A month ago, I remember checking the article for Copyvios, with a 56.7 percentage (from what I can remember), I don't think many major edits were included after that. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 22:51, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

First impressions

A bit too much of "On May 21, 2021, [song X] was released." This is simply redundant as the album was released on that date.
Most sources look good, even if some are smaller publications. However, The Fire Note and ThePsychRock.com appear to be blogs, Genius.com and Sonichits are user-generated, and you cite a few record stores which are not editorial publications (Nail City Records, Capsule Records).
A few quotes should be attributed, such as the "gateway" description in the lead section.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 22:43, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I feel like The Fire Note and ThePsychRock.com is pretty reliable, will remove the others. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 23:23, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Can you explain what makes these sources reliable? I'm not seeing that they're peer reviewed, or have been cited by other sources. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 23:05, 23 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Both of these sources are used as opinions, not for information, so these sources do no harm. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:33, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I think Wikipedia's guidelines on self-published sources still apply here. WikiProject Albums says: "Professional reviews may include only reviews written by professional journalists or DJs, or found within any online or print publication having a (paid or volunteer) editorial and writing staff (which excludes personal blogs). The standard for inclusion always is that the review meet Wikipedia's guideline for reliable sources and that the source be independent of the artist, record company, etc." — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 15:42, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will also remove the bandcamp sources, as stated from the previous review, since the date released is no need (except if it's different). 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 23:25, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 23:32, 22 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead section

It was also described as the gateway for Mdou Moctar's popularity. By whom? — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 00:05, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:35, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The sentence Several critics added the album to their end-of-year best album lists for 2021, including The New York Times, Pitchfork, The Guardian, Rolling Stone, and Consequence. should be moved to the "Reception" section. The lead should be less specific. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:49, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 08:43, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Background

Mentioning his debut album seems tangential, especially if its source is just a listing of a concert.
I don't see a source for the list of his previous albums. This should be removed, as it's tangential to the article, unless the albums are mentioned in the context of Afrique Victime.
I would say the subsection "Documentary" seems misplaced; I would expect "Recording process" to come before it. Maybe move "Documentary" to "Release and touring", since it came after the release?
Mdou Moctar is the name of the singer as well as his band, but the article at points isn't clear which it's referring to. For example: since Mdou Moctar, as he said in an interview with Reverb, is reluctant to spend too much time cooped up in a studio, they recorded the album in intervals, over a few weeks. (If "they" is the band, then write "the band" to be clear.)
There are some other grammatical errors, and style errors such as overusing the word "also". I'll copyedit the article later.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 00:05, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The albums seem important for the context of the switching from Sahel Sounds to Matador, from which the switch is broad enough to mention in the article. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:41, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The way you have written it, it's original synthesis. None of the sources you've cited mention him switching from Sahel Sounds to Matador. However, other sources mention the switch, such as this New York Times article, so you could rewrite it to reflect this. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 15:45, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 08:44, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This is better, but I still think Anar is not relevant to the article. There's no real connection between his first album and Afrique Victime. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 16:56, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Vigilantcosmicpenguin Is it okay now? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 23:20, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, this is good. It looks like there's no original research now, so I just have to do the source spotcheck to confirm this.— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 01:27, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:42, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Release and touring

Lead section uses DMY but this uses MDY. Which one are we using? (Either one could work, since the album was recorded in both the U.S. and Niger.)
You cite the announcement of the tour, but it'd be better to use sources from during or after the tour. (It's possible that, say, Mdou Moctar announced tour locations that were later cancelled.)

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 00:05, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Vigilantcosmicpenguin Will do later since my location has a power outage. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 00:51, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Can't find a reliable source for the tour. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:46, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

That's okay. I have double-checked whether there are sources and I only see routine reviews. I will accept the Pitchfork source for the statement you have. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 15:43, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Tracks

Direct quotes seem unnecessary in this sentence: The songs are powered by his left-hand playing, and his "unique sprawling style", with a "vibrant soundscape" ranging from Chismiten to Bismilahi Atagah. I would suggest something like They feature Moctar's left-handed guitar style, with hammer-ons from his right hand, and energetic riffs. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The songs were also described as "intense". By whom? Probably should be in the "Reception" section, anyway. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Some quotes should be attributed, like "happy and joyful vibe", "lose their sense of self", etc. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Some quotes could be paraphrased, like "stuttering percussion and grainy acoustics". — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I think the thing about "friends and family" might work better as a quote, since the term "friends and family" on its own doesn't really mean much. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The song was also described as a "sandstorm of music", with a "relatively relaxed mode". By whom? — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The song reportedly contains "punchy drum machine fills" and a "psychedelic swirl" and also reportedly contains some group harmonies. No need to say it was "reported"; just say what the source says, and paraphrase the quotes. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I don't see a source that "Bismilahi Atagah" is about God. If there aren't sources about the song, it's fine to leave it out of this section. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I think maybe "Deluxe Edition and Nakanegh Dich" and "Afrique Refait" could be under a separate section; the way it is now makes it look like these are the titles of tracks in the album. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 08:53, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Do we need to have a sentence listing star ratings, when the same information is in a table? It looks like other articles on albums just list several ratings in the table. I think the sentence is harder to read than the table. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 08:54, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Other comments

The "Political context" section and the rest of the article look good. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 20:47, 24 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Finished with everything. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 08:54, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Lead section should probably be rewritten to be a better summary of the article. Right now, it places too much weight on the reception (doesn't need a list of positive reviews), and it doesn't mention the political themes at all.— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 01:27, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:01, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source spotcheck

As of this version

Y Except the infobox should list the studio as "multiple locations" instead of Niamey. Also, it doesn't mention murder.
Y Maybe include this source in "Background" instead of the lead?
Y
Y
Y
N Source mentions that some parts are French, but does not specify which parts.
N The source actually says they were all recording together in Niger.
Y Now that I read the source, it might be better to phrase the sentence without saying it was "described" (just state it as a fact).
Y But, as I've already mentioned, I don't think this fact is relevant to the article.
Y But this source also doesn't mention Afrique Victime, so maybe leave it out.
N/Y Doesn't mention that he made a switch to Matador Records.
Y
Y
Y It doesn't quite say it was his first album of the genre, but you could say it as "Compared to his previous work..."
Y
N/Y Doesn't mention the three-note beat.
Y It says 203 people were killed, not 202.
Y Except it doesn't mention water.
Y
N Doesn't mention yards.
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y Could maybe be more specific here, and mention that the political situation prevented them from touring.
Y
Y Except you mention "other types of shows", which are not mentioned.
Y Maybe specify takamba?
The Fire Note is not a reliable source.
Y Although the phrasing "and a climax" isn't very informative. Maybe "slow buildups to a climax"?
Y
N/Y The quotes "fluttery sound" and "happy and joyful vibe" do not appear.
Y
N
Y Instead of phrasing it as "weddings and certain parts of Niger" maybe just say "weddings and markets in Niger"?
Y However, I don't think this quote is necessary if it's not in any secondary sources.
Y Except the exact quote "slinky love song" doesn't appear.
Y Though it seems out-of-context.
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y Though your phrasing is confusing.
Y
N The quote is "sandstorm of noise".
Y
If you only have a primary source about this remix, it's not relevant.
Y
Y Though the phrase "psychedelic swirl" is meaningless without knowing it's about guitar.
N Mentions guitar, not a guitar solo.
N Doesn't mention the meaning of the title.
Y
Y Though it feels like you're singling out Kabeaushé out of all the artists listed.
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
The Fire Note is not a reliable source.
Y
ThePsychRock is not a reliable source.
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
N Doesn't say the word "intense".
Y
Y
N You say "racial discrimination", but this isn't how the source describes it.
Y
And the rest of the sources are just charts so I'll assume it's accurate.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 04:11, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I remember that I messed up some of the sources. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 04:16, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will not remove source 10, vital to its' context. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 09:24, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think this source is vital to its context. Again, the source does not mention Afrique Victime at all, so it isn't important for an article about Afrique Victime. Instead, I would suggest you cite a similar claim in the guitar.com source. The source mentions that Ilana the Creator was his previous album, before he switched to Matador. The source doesn't mention Sahel Sounds, so if you think that's important to mention, you could cite the New York Times source. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 15:22, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Changed the quotes for source 36 a bit. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 09:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think the phrase "joyful vibe" is encyclopedic. Also, it doesn't make sense to cite Financial Times in parentheses, especially since you're using three different sources for this sentence. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 15:19, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

What's wrong with source 38? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 09:51, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

It doesn't look like that source mentions the rooster sound or the sound of footsteps. However, you have since rewritten the sentence to mention the "psychedelic" guitar, and the source does back this up, so ok. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 15:17, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 10:57, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed everything (probably). 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 04:33, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Copyediting and comments on style

I just took some time to copyedit the article. I have a few comments I think you should keep in mind:
Some of my fixes were to simple grammatical errors. Remember that song titles are in quotation marks, and titles of publications are in italics. Common nouns should not be capitalized. Commas should not be used to combine two sentences.
A good article is supposed to be concise, and you had some problems with this. The most frequent problem was your overuse of the word "also"—this can almost always be avoided. Also, phrases like "reportedly" should be avoided. In general, you should try to make sentences as brief as possible without losing information.
Similarly, you overdid attributions to sources. You only need to attribute a claim to a source if is opinionated or debatable. You shouldn't say something like "According to Source XYZ, the song includes guitar." since no one would debate that. If there's a direct quote, you have to attribute it, but you shouldn't use direct quotes to describe objective facts.
Your article was mildly underlinked. You should have linked terms like Nokia 6120, takamba, etc., as readers may not be immediately familiar with them.
I also tweaked the lead section. It was already acceptable before, but I think it's clearer as multiple paragraphs, and I mentioned a few more facts from the body. I also included some facts from the lead in the body.
Besides these prose issues, the article is good. You've improved it a lot since the first failed GA nomination, and it's now very thorough. You've also inspired me to listen to this album—I had barely heard of Mdou Moctar before this, and it turns out he's really good! :)

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 01:16, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Did you know nomination

(

Comment or view
Article history

)

... that Mdou Moctar's Afrique Victime was also released on Nokia devices (specifically the Nokia 6120) to honor his former albums?

Source: SRC

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Rika Nakagawa

Improved to Good Article status by TheNuggeteer (talk). Number of QPQs required: 1. Nominator has 19 past nominations.

🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 03:41, 28 August 2024 (UTC).[reply]

GA status confirmed, date is fine. Various GA-related quality aspects confirmed as meeting DYK standards. Still needs a QPQ review. Hook needs improvements; not Nokia devices, but a single device (the article states "In homage to his first albums, which he spread using Bluetooth, he released a collector's edition Nokia 6120 handset."). And while this is not a DYK concern, I think this part of the article should be expanded - how can one spread albums using Bluetooth? How does one include an album in a handset (the source states it was pre-loaded onto a classic handset, which is confusing - what exactly was that item)? If I was a GA reviewer I'd expect this to be addressed (expanded with clarifications in the text). Ping GA reviewer User:Vigilantcosmicpenguin.--_{Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here} 06:02, 29 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- The "spreading albums using Bluetooth" thing is already explained in the article Mdou Moctar, so I figured it's WP:Summary style to exclude that info from this article. But I agree that the article should be clearer, so tweaked. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 16:12, 29 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Finished the hook request. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 09:04, 29 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]