Talk:Air Mata Iboe

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Air Mata Iboe/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Dwaipayanc (talk · contribs) 23:13, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "... the film starred Fifi Young, Rd Ismail, A. Sarosa, and Ali Yugo and followed a mother who raises her children attentively but is ultimately betrayed by her eldest sons." Should there be a dot after Rd in the name Rd Ismail? Also, " her eldest sons" is this a correct expression (I am not sure)? Eldest means the oldest one (singular), right?

• Rd Mochtar (a similar case) does not. For eldest sons, see Lady Cockburn and Her Three Eldest Sons as an example. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Sugiati (Fifi Young) is the mother of four grown children" All are male children (the reader does not know yet)? so, is it better to describe as sons and daughter?

• Children is gender neutral, although I have rephrased. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Air Mata Iboe was announced in June 1941 together with two other films, Boedi Terbenam (Hidden Character) and Bachtera Karam(Wrecked Ark)." By teh same production team? Otherwise, why is this important to know?

Same company, yes. Reworded. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "...featured eleven keroncong (traditional music with Portuguese influences) songs written by music director R. Koesbini" You mean the music was composed by the director, or, the lyrics written?

• Linked music director. He may have done both or one or the other, sources do not say. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "...began in early 1942, closing almost all of the colony's film studios" Is it better to use Dutch East Indies here rather than colony?

• Done — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Air Mata Iboe premiered at Sampoerna Theater in Surabaya on 24 December 1941" But, in the preceding section, "Tan completed the film sometime between 1942 and 1945.However, advertisements and reviews had been published in Surabaya-based newspapers in December 1942." So, there is some discrepancy in date.

• Oops, that second 1942 was a typo. There is some discrepancy in the sources, however. It appears that either Kristanto or Biran did not double check Tan's testimony with newspapers from the time (I think Tan was full of **** in this case, but no sources say that explicitly). In any case what we have here is testimony from one person, which is reported in several sources and is therefore worthy of inclusion, which goes against what contemporary newspapers reported. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• Haha, that's really funny: the film premiering 1941 and director saying it was completed somewhere between 1942 and 1945.--Dwaipayan (talk) 23:37, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• Tan was a different director (don't know why he would have worked on something for Majestic, as he did much of his work for The Teng Chun's Java Industrial Film), but yeah that's interesting. Might be worth writing a paper about... — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:49, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• So, according to Tan, Njoo did not complete the film, but Tan himself did?--Dwaipayan (talk)

• That's what he says, but contemporary sources seem to say otherwise. (You'll notice 1942 is after 1941) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:20, 21 May 2013 (UTC)

• "A review in the Soerabaijasch Handelsblad noted..." any date/month/year of the review?

• Don't think that's worth mentioning here (they can click through to the footnote) but I have added that it was anonymous. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "A remake of the film" any wikilinks?

• Redlinked. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• "...after Indonesia had obtained its independence" A wikilink to the independence of Indonesia would be nice.--Dwaipayan (talk) 23:13, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

• Done. Thanks for the review! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:31, 20 May 2013 (UTC)

In my opinion, this article meets GA criteria.--Dwaipayan (talk) 03:32, 22 May 2013 (UTC)

Informal PR

No ties or jackets were worn for this PR. A nicely put together piece, with not too much to worry me, but the following comments may help

IB

• Njoo Cheong Seng is linked twice
  • Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)
• Dutch East Indies is linked on the second mention, not the first
  • Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Lead

• "is a 1941 film"; if it is lost it should be "was a 1941 film"
  • Have used this for the past film articles as well; it may be, but short of confirmation I'd rather not go past tense. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Plot

• "three sons (Achmad [Rd Ismail], Idris [S Poniman], Soemadi [Ali Sarosa])" I was a bit lost with all the brackets going on. Perhaps: "three sons: Achmad (Rd Ismail), Idris (S Poniman) and Soemadi (Ali Sarosa), and a daughter..." or "three sons—Achmad (Rd Ismail), Idris (S Poniman) and Soemadi (Ali Sarosa)—and a daughter..."
  • How's this? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)
    • Perfect, cheers - SchroCat (talk) 09:24, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

• "Soebagio catches ill" -> "Soebagio falls ill"
  • Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)
• Anything from the sources on the shape of the revenge?
  • Nope. Stops just at the teaser. Doubt it would have been anything too violent, considering the censorship of the time. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Production

• "over 55 reels had been shot, with another 60 sound reels." This could be a bit smoother – but I'm not sure how at the moment!
  • As well as? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)
• You have troup here and troupe a couple of times below
  • Fixed. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Release

• You seem to be using BrEng, but then drop Theater on us?
  • That's what I get for being raised in Windsor! Fixed. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Hope these help! Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 08:51, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

• Thanks, SchroCat! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:59, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Remake

Does it survive? Brutannica (talk) 19:18, 10 December 2017 (UTC)

Two citations cases

I am unable to purchase the offline sources cited, plus Soerabaijasch Handelsblad is a dead link, only the Filmindonesia one, so I'm taking it here if Crisco 1492 or other editors with offline access can address this. This article has multiple citations cited at the same place (i.e "I betrayed my wife and married a cricket.[1][2]" They are:

• "Production" paragraph 1
• "Production" paragraph 2 sentence 1-2
• "Production" paragraph 3 sentence 2 part 2

Apart from that, this featured article is slowly getting.... un-featured. I removed a "received positive reviews" claim in the lead since there's no talks on the film's reviews, almost all online sources are dead, and I removed a confusing "for the company" fragment from "...which also had a tragic ending, for the company." A lot of FAs in the early days of WP are also kinda troubled, so it would be great if this is managed. GeraldWL 10:19, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

• I don't recall multiple refs in the same place being an issue at FA, if both are used to cite specific information within the preceding sentence(s). The reference formatting has remained unchanged since this article was first featured.

As for the courtesy links to the archive, they have been fixed.  — Chris Woodrich (talk) 20:06, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

• • Crisco 1492, usually if appropriate and if not space-taking, it's common practice to relocate citations after the claim it specifically talked about. I'm just noting; this of course doesn't apply if it adds more vague bytes or is just impossible to be implemented. If I were you, I would bundle the references, which would statistically save more bytes. These are just, ofc, me throwing tips.

Thanks for addressing the issue. As I said above, a lot of old FAs are starting to rot in terms of links, perhaps even content, and there's gonna be a lot of work to do. Just reminds that Wikipedia is far from over.

Anyways, cheers, and Merry Christmas if you're celebrating. GeraldWL 21:53, 23 December 2020 (UTC)