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:Hi {{u|Roberta Buoite Stella}} - There are two main issues (and perhaps 3) with your article. One I did not know about until your message, and that is that this article has a [[WP:COI|conflict of interest]] issue. Wikipedia doesn't prohibit COI articles, but it is recommended against. Please read the link I just provided. At the least, you need to place a comment on the article letting other editors know there is a COI. The reason that COI articles are discouraged, is because it leads to the second major issue: the articles almost always read like an advert. The difference between an article and an advertisement is that adverts '''sell''', articles '''tell'''. When you describe processes or "parts of the system", that becomes promotional. Sometimes its more of the tone. Sentences like "The development of the system continued and new climbing devices were invented (HighStep Easy, HighStep Protector and HighStep Lift), while the Rail remained always unchanged." and phrases like "The fall protection is ensured ..." go beyond simply telling and attempt to sell the product. I hope this helps. [[User:onel5969|<b><font color="#536895">Onel</font><font color="#FFB300">5969</font></b>]] <sup>[[User talk:Onel5969|<i style="color:blue">TT me</i>]]</sup> 16:53, 31 August 2015 (UTC)
:Hi {{u|Roberta Buoite Stella}} - There are two main issues (and perhaps 3) with your article. One I did not know about until your message, and that is that this article has a [[WP:COI|conflict of interest]] issue. Wikipedia doesn't prohibit COI articles, but it is recommended against. Please read the link I just provided. At the least, you need to place a comment on the article letting other editors know there is a COI. The reason that COI articles are discouraged, is because it leads to the second major issue: the articles almost always read like an advert. The difference between an article and an advertisement is that adverts '''sell''', articles '''tell'''. When you describe processes or "parts of the system", that becomes promotional. Sometimes its more of the tone. Sentences like "The development of the system continued and new climbing devices were invented (HighStep Easy, HighStep Protector and HighStep Lift), while the Rail remained always unchanged." and phrases like "The fall protection is ensured ..." go beyond simply telling and attempt to sell the product. I hope this helps. [[User:onel5969|<b><font color="#536895">Onel</font><font color="#FFB300">5969</font></b>]] <sup>[[User talk:Onel5969|<i style="color:blue">TT me</i>]]</sup> 16:53, 31 August 2015 (UTC)


:Hi {{u|onel15969}}, thank you very much for your answer! I will definetely write my COI in a comment (I thought that it was enought to state it in my User page), furthermore I will edit the article to make it sound more neutral, and tell only the plain facts. Just one thing is not that clear: the list of the parts of the system was created to explain how the system works and what are the components, how can I do that otherwise? If I take that part out it's not very clear how the system works. Do you have any suggestion? Or maybe an example of a good article of such a complex product that describes it in a good way? Thank you again for your time :) --[[User:Roberta Buoite Stella|Roberta Buoite Stella]] ([[User talk:Roberta Buoite Stella|talk]]) 11:35, 1 September 2015 (UTC)
:Hi {{u|Onel15969}}, thank you very much for your answer! I will definetely write my COI in a comment (I thought that it was enought to state it in my User page), furthermore I will edit the article to make it sound more neutral, and tell only the plain facts. Just one thing is not that clear: the list of the parts of the system was created to explain how the system works and what are the components, how can I do that otherwise? If I take that part out it's not very clear how the system works. Do you have any suggestion? Or maybe an example of a good article of such a complex product that describes it in a good way? Thank you again for your time :) --[[User:Roberta Buoite Stella|Roberta Buoite Stella]] ([[User talk:Roberta Buoite Stella|talk]]) 11:35, 1 September 2015 (UTC)


== Edit reverted from Dick Rowe page ==
== Edit reverted from Dick Rowe page ==

Revision as of 11:38, 1 September 2015

Onel5969's Talk
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