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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Jwalling (talk | contribs) at 06:49, 9 October 2013 (→‎I Am Mulala: new section). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

To do

This article seems likely to fail its current GA review, but I'm interested in trying to bring it the rest of the way there and renominating. Here's a few things on my to-do list. Other input would be welcome. Thanks to everybody who's already added so much to this article!

  • Balance US-centric reactions section (Angelina Jolie and Madonna and Laura Bush but no other heads of state outside US and Pakistan)--other reactions can surely be found
  • Work to standardize the format of the awards/honors section; perhaps the most important award events could be described in prose, with a table for the rest
  • Updating lead to remove unneeded citations, and better summarize body of article
  • Update the criminal investigation section to note releases of the originally arrested suspects
  • Check sources--for example, the current #94 has a 2004 date, which couldn't possibly describe a Nobel nomination for Malala

Let me know what you think. Thanks to all, -- Khazar2 (talk) 01:39, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I think the above is largely done. I still wish it had a bit more worldwide reaction in the reactions section, but I think it's otherwise set. Other editors active here, do you have any suggestions before I renominate? I figure I'll give it 4-5 days to verify that the current version is stable, and then renominate. Cheers, -- Khazar2 (talk) 20:04, 25 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I've renominated above, but of course am still happy to discuss any concerns editors may have with these changes. Thanks again to everybody, -- Khazar2 (talk) 18:05, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Autoarchiving

Since this talk page has gotten quite long(40+ threads), I'm setting up an autoarchiver to archive inactive conversations. If anyone objects, of course, feel free to revert, or I can. -- Khazar2 (talk) 19:50, 25 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Huff Post editorial

I've removed a new paragraph on an editorial by independent journalist Assed Baig, originally in the Huffington Post (which generally isn't a reliable source by Wikipedia standards, though I don't know that that's an issue for opeds). I'm not sure that Baig's a significant enough figure to make it into the encyclopedic version of Malala's life when we're leaving out major writers like Nicholas Kristof (which we need to do, since so much has been written about her around the world) and far larger publications. What do others think? The sentence in question is here. -- Khazar2 (talk) 17:45, 7 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

A quotation from Baig's piece appeared in the Toronto Star: http://www.thestar.com/news/world/2013/07/19/malala_yousafzai_backlash_against_pakistani_teen_activist_spreads_in_her_homeland.html

Which claims in its About page: 'Today, the Toronto Star is Canada's largest daily newspaper, with the largest readership in the country.'

And also in Pakistan's The Friday Times: http://www.thefridaytimes.com/beta3/tft/article.php?issue=20130726&page=25Beingsshepherd (talk) 00:25, 8 August 2013 (UTC)Beingsshepherd[reply]

Thanks, that's a really good suggestion. Both those pieces are helpful in giving an overview of the commentary generally so that we're not just overemphasizing one random journalist's opinion by giving it a standalone paragraph. Let me know if you consider this version based on those sources reasonable. -- Khazar2 (talk) 01:31, 8 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Khazar, yes I like it but to be fair, Baig did describe her as being used to justify Western imperialism. He doesn't really blame Yousafzai in the original piece, but rather those who are exploiting her.Beingsshepherd (talk) 02:27, 8 August 2013 (UTC)Beingsshepherd[reply]
That's what I meant, but you're right that that's not clear in the version I just wrote. Thanks again for the suggestion. Will fix right now. -- Khazar2 (talk) 02:31, 8 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Perfect :)Beingsshepherd (talk) 23:39, 8 August 2013 (UTC)Beingsshepherd[reply]

GA Review

GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Malala Yousafzai/GA4. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: 1ST7 (talk · contribs) 22:57, 22 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I did some minor copyedits; I hope you don't mind. Here are the initial comments:

  1. Well-written
A. Prose: the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
  • The article is well-written, though a significant amount of the sentences begin with a date and it's a bit repetitive.
Okay, most sentences that start with a date have now been restructured. -- Khazar2 (talk) 00:59, 28 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
B. Complies with MoS for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
  • Minor issue with WP:words to watch - "some political parties, right-wing groups and other individuals have aired conspiracy theories..." Can you specify which political parties/groups/individuals?
  • I can't, unfortunately. The source states only "some fringe Pakistani political parties and extremist outfits are working actively to spin the attack on Malala as the work of the CIA". It also links to a Tribune columnist stating "It would be hard to imagine how a counter narrative could be built around the gunning down of a child, but there it was, coming from our politically charged youth, our parties, our ultra-nationalists and religio-political parties, our extremist/banned organisations and yes, our relatives, peers and friends." I'm up for rewording this per any suggestions you might have; this is text I inherited in rewriting the article, so I'm not especially attached to it (though some mention of the conspiracy theories needs to be included). -- Khazar2 (talk) 00:41, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Quotations would help eliminate the WP:WTW issue: Although the attack was roundly condemned in Pakistan, "some fringe Pakistani political parties and extremist outfits" and other individuals have aired conspiracy theories, such as the shooting being staged by the American Central Intelligence Agency in order to provide an excuse for continuing drone attacks. --1ST7 (talk) 01:18, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Rewritten per your suggestion. -- Khazar2 (talk) 16:15, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Verifiable with no original research:
  • Everything appears to be well-referenced.
  1. Broad in its coverage:
  • Article is focused and covers all of the main aspects of the topic.
  1. Neutral:
  2. Stable:
  • No edit wars, etc.
  1. Illustrated, if possible, by images:
  • There are currently no images in the article. They are not necessary for the article to be passed, but is it possible to add a picture of Yousafzai?

Aside from these issues, the article looks ready for promotion. I'll place it on hold for a week. Thanks for your work on this one! --1ST7 (talk) 00:21, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to review! I'm very happy to see you pass from quality GA-writing to reviewing so quickly. -- Khazar2 (talk) 00:41, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You're welcome, and thanks! --1ST7 (talk) 01:18, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Additional note: I saw this report online a few minutes ago. Please update the "Awards and honors" section. --1ST7 (talk) 01:26, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Updated. -- Khazar2 (talk) 16:15, 23 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Just wanted to check in--anything left to do on this one? Thanks, -- Khazar2 (talk) 15:57, 27 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for checking in. 1A still needs to be addressed - the dating is bit repetitive. Can you reword a few of the phrases to make it flow better?
Ex. "In February 2009, girls' schools were still closed. In solidarity, private schools for boys had decided not to open until 9 February, and notices appeared saying so. On 7 February, Yousafzai and a brother returned to their hometown of Mingora, where the streets were deserted, and there was an 'eerie silence'" to "In February 2009, girls' schools were still closed, and private schools for boys announced that they would delay opening for one week in solidarity. On 7 February, Yousafzai and a brother returned to their hometown of Mingora, where the streets were deserted, and there was an 'eerie silence'." --1ST7 (talk) 00:37, 28 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I'm happy to vary the structure more, but I'm surprised you consider a clarity issue to the degree that this doesn't meet GA requirements. Will get to it tomorrow if not tonight. Thanks again for the suggestions, -- Khazar2 (talk) 00:49, 28 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Everything looks good now, so I'm passing the article. Congratulations, and thanks for your work on it. --1ST7 (talk) 01:37, 28 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! I really appreciate your taking the time. -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:41, 28 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Ethnicity of Malala Yousufzai

Malala is not ethnically a Pukhtun Yousufzai. She belongs to a family of Mullahs. Her great-grandfather migrated from Buner to Shangla. Her grand father Maulana Rooh-ul-Amin was a cleric. He was the Imam of a Mosque in his village Barkana and a teacher in a Government run High School in the adjacent village of Shahpur. His ethnicity as a Mulla can be verified from the revenue records of Shangla. Amjad.shahpur (talk) 10:04, 25 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

@Amjad we need verifiable evidence in the form of reliable secondary sources that verify your claim. The one you are pointing to is a vague source that one hardly can verify. --SMS Talk 10:55, 25 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
There is no such ethnicity as "Mullahs". Mar4d (talk) 01:10, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I Am Mulala

I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban

by Malala Yousafzai (Author) , Christina Lamb (Contributor)
Hardcover: 352 pages
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (October 8, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0316322407
ISBN-13: 978-0316322409

-- jwalling (talk) 06:49, 9 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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