Talk:Steamer Maxwell
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![]() | A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on January 26, 2013. The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that future Hockey Hall of Famer Steamer Maxwell's disdain for professional sport caused him to quit playing in 1915 after learning fellow players were getting paid? |
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[edit]This article was automatically assessed because at least one article was rated and this bot brought all the other ratings up to at least that level. BetacommandBot 04:33, 28 August 2007 (UTC)
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Steamer Maxwell/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Disc Wheel (talk · contribs) 02:39, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- General
- "He served two seasons as coach of the Monarchs before moving to the cross-town rival Winnipeg Falcons."
- Monarchs? I'd suggest putting the whole team name here since this is a new section.
- Done.
- Monarchs? I'd suggest putting the whole team name here since this is a new section.
- He played rover, and began his senior career in 1909–10 with the Winnipeg Monarchs of the Manitoba Hockey League (MHL), appearing in one game.
- The Winnipeg link needs to be disambiguated. Also I just feel the sentence construction is awkward. Maybe try this: "He began his senior career in 1909-10 with the Winnipeg Monarchs of the Manitoba Hockey League (MHL), where he appeared in a single game and played the rover position."
- I moved the Rover part into the preceding sentence and reversed the remainder to eliminate all the awkward pauses.
- The Winnipeg link needs to be disambiguated. Also I just feel the sentence construction is awkward. Maybe try this: "He began his senior career in 1909-10 with the Winnipeg Monarchs of the Manitoba Hockey League (MHL), where he appeared in a single game and played the rover position."
- "By virtue of the title, the team was granted posession of the Allan Cup, emblematic of Canada's national senior-amateur championship, but initially refused to defend the trophy against a challenge by the Kenora Thistles after the Cup's trustees ruled Dick Irvin ineligible."
- Sort of the same problem here, but I'd suggest making two sentences out of this and make sure the past tense is being used.
- Broken up.
- Sort of the same problem here, but I'd suggest making two sentences out of this and make sure the past tense is being used.
- "His business interests outside of hockey prevented Maxwell from travelling to Belgium with his team,[10] however the International Ice Hockey Federation (IIHF) lists him as the coach for the gold medal winning Canadians, who outscored their opponents 29–1 in three games played."
- ";" after "his team," instead of the ","
- Done
- ";" after "his team," instead of the ","
- "Remaining in the Winnipeg are for his entire career, Maxwell coached several of the city's teams."
- ... Not too sure what you're saying here. Try to keep with past tense since this is an encyclopedia entry.
- Reworded
- ... Not too sure what you're saying here. Try to keep with past tense since this is an encyclopedia entry.
- "Instead, Maxwell returned to the Winnipeg Monarchs, leading their junior team to the western Canadian championship in 1931–32."
- "leading their junior team" -> ",where he led their junior team"
- Done
- "leading their junior team" -> ",where he led their junior team"
- "They lost to the eastern champion Sudbury Cub Wolves in the Memorial Cup final, however."
- I'd rewrite this as: "In the Memorial Cup final, Maxwell's squad lost to the eastern champion Sudbury Cub Wolves."
- Done
- I'd rewrite this as: "In the Memorial Cup final, Maxwell's squad lost to the eastern champion Sudbury Cub Wolves."
- "The company, which focused on plywood supply, was successful, making Maxwell a millionaire."
- Rewrite as: "The company, which focused on plywood supply, was successful and ultimately made Maxwell a millionaire"
- Done
- Rewrite as: "The company, which focused on plywood supply, was successful and ultimately made Maxwell a millionaire"
- "Maxwell turned to photography and world travel following his retirement."
- Start the sentence with "Following his retirement, Maxwell... travel"
- Done
- Start the sentence with "Following his retirement, Maxwell... travel"
- "He was known for his quick, and often barbed, wit; his friends often told a story of an Arenas baseball game where, after failing to convince the umpire that it was too dark to play, Maxwell sent his players onto the field with lighted candles."
- Definitely split this sentence up, with the first dealing with how he was known for wit and the second being about the story.
- The story is an example of said wit. I replaced the ; with a :. Better?
- Definitely split this sentence up, with the first dealing with how he was known for wit and the second being about the story.
- I'd suggest running the text through a word document with spell check to catch misspelled words.
- So I just noticed. Done.
- Overall
It's well written and cited where it should be. Just some easy fixes and its GA worthy. Disc Wheel (Malk + Montributions) 02:39, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review! I have responded to your comments. Thanks, Resolute 03:00, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
- Fixed everything. Looks good. GA. Keep up the good work on this site. Disc Wheel (Malk + Montributions) 03:08, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
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