Cybersex
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Cybersex, computer sex, internet sex or net sex is a virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sexual relations. In one iteration, this fantasy sex is accomplished by the participants describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies. Cybersex may also be accomplished through the use of avatars in a multiuser software environment.
Cybersex sometimes includes real life masturbation. The quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants' abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners. Imagination and suspension of disbelief are also critically important. Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or intimate relationships, e.g. among lovers who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet in virtual spaces or cyberspaces and may even remain anonymous to one another. In some contexts cybersex is enhanced by the use of a webcam to transmit real-time video of the partners.
Cybersex is sometimes colloquially called "cybering". Channels used to initiate cybersex are not necessarily exclusively devoted to that subject, and participants in any Internet chat may suddenly receive a message with any possible variation of the text "Wanna cyber?", or a request for "C2C/C4C".
Characteristics
Cybersex is commonly performed in Internet chat rooms (such as IRC, talkers or web chats) and on instant messaging systems. It can also be performed using webcams, voice chat systems like Skype, or online games and/or virtual worlds like Second Life. The exact definition of cybersex—specifically, whether real-life masturbation must be taking place for the online sex act to count as cybersex—is up for debate.[1]
It is also fairly frequent in on-line role-playing games, such as, MUDs and MMORPGs, though approval of this activity varies greatly from game to game. Some online social games like Red Light Center are dedicated to cybersex and other adult behaviors. These online games are often called AMMORPGs. Cybersex is sometimes called "mudsex" in MUDs. In TinyMUD variants, particularly MUCKs, the term "TinySex", abbreviated "TS", is very common. Cybersex can be utilised to write co-written original fiction and fanfiction by role-playing in third person. It can also be used to gain experience for solo writers who want to write more realistic sex scenes, by exchanging ideas.
Though text-based cybersex has been in practice for decades,[2] the increased popularity of webcams has raised the number of online partners using two-way video connections to "expose" themselves to each other online—giving the act of cybersex a more visual aspect. There are a number of popular, commercial webcam websites that allow people to openly masturbate on camera while others watch them.[3] Using similar sites, couples can also perform on camera for the enjoyment of others.
Cybersex differs from phone sex in that it offers a greater degree of anonymity and allows participants to meet partners more easily. A good deal of cybersex takes place between partners who have just met online. Unlike phone sex, cybersex in chat rooms is rarely commercial. In online worlds like Second Life, however, internet sex workers engage in cybersex in exchange for both virtual and real-life currency.[4]
One approach to cybering is a simulation of "real" sex, when participants try to make the experience as close to real life as possible, with participants taking turns writing descriptive, sexually explicit passages. Alternatively, it can be considered a form of role playing that allows a couple to experience unusual sexual sensations and carry out sexual experiments they cannot try in reality. Amongst "serious" roleplayers, cybering may occur as part of a larger plot - the characters involved may be lovers or spouses. In situations like this, the people typing often consider themselves separate entities from the "people" engaging in the sexual acts, much as the author of a novel often does not completely identify with his or her characters. In "real cybering" personas often remain in character throughout the entire life of the contact, to include evolving into phone sex, and real meets while in character. Often these personas develop complex past histories for their characters to make the fantasy/roleplay even more life like, thus the evolution of the term "real cybering".
Cybersex is often ridiculed because the partners frequently have little verifiable knowledge (including gender) about each other. However, since for many the primary point of cybersex is the realistic simulation of sexual activity, this knowledge is not always desired or necessary.
Advantages and disadvantages
Advantages
Since cybersex can satisfy some sexual desires without the risk of a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or pregnancy, it is a physically safe way for young people to experiment with sexual thoughts and emotions. Additionally, people with long-term ailments (including HIV) can engage in cybersex as a way to safely achieve sexual gratification without putting their partners at risk.
Cybersex allows "real-life" partners who are physically separated to continue to be sexually intimate. In geographically separated relationships, it can function to sustain the sexual dimension of a relationship in which the partners see each other only infrequently face to face. Also, it can allow partners to work out problems that they have in their sex life that they feel uncomfortable bringing up otherwise.
It can enable participants to act out fantasies which they would not act out (or perhaps would not even be realistically possible) in real life through roleplaying due to physical or social limitations and potential for misunderstanding, such as extreme BDSM, incest, zoophilia or rape.
Disadvantages and associated problems
Debate continues among moralists on whether cybersex is a form of infidelity. While it does not involve physical contact, critics claim that the powerful emotions involved can cause marital stress, especially when cybersex culminates in an Internet romance. In several known cases Internet adultery became the grounds for which a couple divorced.[5][6] Therapists report a growing number of patients addicted to this activity[7], a form of both Internet addiction and sexual addiction, with the standard problems associated with addictive behavior.
See also
References
- ^ Bonnie Ruberg, "What Counts as Cybersex?", The Village Voice, May 18th, 2007
- ^ Julian Dibbell, My Tiny Life, Henry Holt, New York, 1998.
- ^ Bonnie Ruberg, "Do You Like to Watch?", The Village Voice, July 27th, 2007.
- ^ Bonnie Ruberg, "Peeking Up the Skirt of Online Sex Work", The Village Voice, August 31st, 2007.
- ^ CYBERSPLIT ONLINE AFFAIR SPURS OFF-LINE DIVORCE, New York Daily News, February 2, 2006
- ^ Divorced from reality: All three accounts of the Second Life love triangle that saw a woman separate from her husband for having a cyber-affair, Mail Online, November 14, 2008
- ^ Godson, page 258.
Further reading
- Deuel, Nancy R. 1996. Our passionate response to virtual reality. Computer-mediated Communication: Linguistic, Social, and Cross-Cultural Perspectives, p. 129-146. Ed. by Susan C. Herring. John Benjamins Publishing Company, Philadelphia.
- Godson, Suzi 2002. The Sex Book. Cassell Illustrated, London.
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