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BDSM

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BDSM is a term which describes a number of related patterns of human sexual behaviour. The major subgroupings are described in the abbreviation "BDSM" itself — "bondage & discipline" (B&D), "domination & submission" (D&S) and "sadism & masochism" (S&M).

Many of the specific practices in BDSM are those which, if performed in neutral or nonsexual contexts, are widely considered unpleasant, undesirable, or disadvantageous. For example, pain, physical restraint and servitude are traditionally inflicted on persons against their will and to their detriment. In BDSM, however, these activities are engaged in with the mutual consent of the participants, and typically for mutual enjoyment. Because of this, those who practice BDSM see it as entirely different from sexual abuse.

This emphasis on informed consent and safety is also known as SSC (safe, sane and consensual), though others prefer RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), which places the emphasis more on informed consent, and acknowledges the fact that all activities are potentially risky.

Psychological

In the past, sadomasochistic activities and fantasies have been regarded by psychiatrists as pathological, but have been regarded as increasingly acceptable since at least the 1990s. Indeed, the DSM-IV asserts that "The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors" must "cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" in order for sexual sadism or masochism to be considered a disorder. People who practice BDSM tend to reject the view of their activities as disordered.

Power exchange

On a psychological level, much BDSM play involves power and dominance, in particular power exchange of various forms. One person may willingly and consciously hand over personal autonomy or the power dynamic may arise between the parties in the relationship as a spontaneous result of their interpersonal chemistry in which case no conscious decision is made. This power can manifest in an endless variety of relationship dynamics. Some of the variations include:

  • addressing another person as "Master" or "Mistress" for a ten-minute scene.
  • a witnessed, formal collaring with a lifelong agreement between the parties for the dominant to provide an ongoing presence in the submissive's life. See TPE. Collared slaves have responsibilities and duties that vary from the moderate to extreme micro-management.
  • an agreement of service that covers the duties and responsibilities of the submissive that may or may not include a long term commitment. Some service relationships are understood to last only as long as the submissive maintains performance standards.

According to most practitioners, the power exchange should always be negotiated. Before play, the participants discuss their physical and psychological limitations, establish safewords (words that will signal the cessation of the scene) and work out what activities they will engage in.

However, many reject extensive negotiation and eschew the use of safewords, preferring instead to accept heightened risk and facilitate a more "natural" interaction. The conflict between the need for risk and the need for limitations and safety is at the heart of the SSC and RACK controversies.

Submissive behavior

A submissive person is one who freely submits or seeks to submit to another. Within a BDSM-only context particularly, submissive is often considered synonymous with bottom while others opine that a "submissive" is specifically pursuing a power-exchange as a key element, whereas a "bottom" may or may not be interested (or even willing) to engage in what is called power-exchange. Some have proposed the "pitcher" and "catcher" (borrowed from baseball terminology) as more neutral terminology, with the "pitcher" delivering the sensation, the instruction, etc; and the "catcher" receiving what is "pitched".

Submissives vary in how seriously they take their position, training, and situation. Motivations for engaging in submissive behavior may include relief from responsibility, being the object of attention and affection, gaining a sense of security, showing off endurance, and working through issues of shame. Others simply enjoy a 'natural' feeling when they are in the presence of their partner. What are known as service-oriented submissive may also have a deep seated desire to be 'of use'.

Bottoms also vary in the extent to which they engage in play, in how often they play and even in whether they consider their role "play" at all.

Dominant behavior

A dominant person enjoys being in control of a submissive person. Reasons for this are said to include demonstrating skill and power, having ownership of another person, and being the object of affection and devotion. Domination may be the fashion in which the dominant feels most comfortable expressing and/or receiving affection. Service oriented dominants would add that it is obviously useful to have the resources and abilities of another human at their disposal.

Of course, other known possible motives remain to be considered, including pleasure taken not only in sheer power, but in the suffering of others, thrill seeking in risk taking, and outright self destructiveness. That is why many in the BDSM community are concerned with establishing the motivations of those involved in an encounter and advise caution in making BDSM connections.

Safety

Some BDSM activities may be potentially dangerous if appropriate precautions are neglected.

One aspect to ensure safety is to agree upon a safe word. If the Dominant and submissive are in a scene that causes discomfort for one or both of them, a safe word can be verbal uttered to warn the Dominant of trouble and immediately call for a stop to the scene.

Adequate care is only prudent in bondage to ensure safety from injury. For activities involving bodily fluids, hygienic precautions should be duly considered for avoiding the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Various practices

BDSM may encompass practices such as erotic spanking, flagellation, figging or medical submission (i.e. a submissive partner submits to humiliating and/or painful medical procedures).

BDSM activities are practiced by individuals of all sexualities: male and female, gay or straight, or bisexual. Many practice their BDSM activities exclusively in private, and do not share their predilections with others. Others socialize with other BDSM practitioners. The BDSM community can be regarded as a subculture within mainstream society. Being involved in BDSM or Dominant/submissive relationships on a regular basis is often referred to as being "in the lifestyle".

Some sources estimate the prevalence of BDSM behavior in countries such as the United States at around 5 to 10% of the adult population. While the stereotype of heterosexual BDSM is a male dominant and female submissive, the reality is almost evenly split between "maledom" and "femdom" couples.

BDSM is often considered an aspect of sexual fetishism and a part of the fetish subculture.

Some BDSM players are polyamorous, or are sexually monogamous but engage in non-sexual play with others.

Physiological

On a physical level, BDSM "sensation play" often involves inflicting pain, even if without actual injury. This releases endorphins, creating a sensation somewhat like runner's high or the afterglow of orgasm, sometimes called "flying", which some find enjoyable. Some writers use the term "body stress". This experience is the motivation for many in the BDSM community but is not the only motivating factor. Indeed, a strong minority of BDSM participants (especially 'bottoms') may well participate in a scene they do not derive any physical pleasure from in order to provide their 'top' with an opportunity to indulge their desires or fetishes.

In some kinds of BDSM play, the 'top' (usually a dominant partner) applies sensation to the 'bottom' (usually a submissive partner) by spanking, slapping, pinching, stroking or scratching with fingernails, or using implements like straps, whips, paddles, canes, knives, hot wax, ice, clothespins, bamboo skewers, etc. The sensation of being bound with rope, chains, straps, cling wrap, handcuffs or other materials can also be part of the experience.

The tools of BDSM play encompass a wide variety of items from specifically designed implements to ordinary household items, known as "pervertibles".

A pleasurable BDSM experience is thought to depend greatly upon a competent top and the bottom attaining the correct state of mind. Trust and sexual arousal help a person prepare for the intense sensation. Some have even gone so far as to compare adept BDSM play to musical composition and performance, each sensation like unto a musical note. Likewise, different sensations are combined in different ways to produce the total experience.

Other points

  • BDSM may or may not involve sex of any kind.
  • BDSM may or may not involve sexual roleplaying.
  • BDSM may or may not involve ageplay.
  • How dominant or submissive a person may be in their regular life does not always determine their preferred role in BDSM play though many people do manifest these tendencies.
  • BDSM play often includes the psychological pleasure of fetishes.

Terminology

BDSM activities are described as "play" in BDSM terminology.

The BDSM term is a portmanteau acronym intended to take in all of the following activities:

Some BDSM terminology:

Note that it is common to begin dominant terms with an upper case, for example: Top, Master, Dom, Domme, etc, as well as to begin submissive terms with a lower case, even where normally incorrect, chiefly in acronyms and abbreviations, such as D/s for Dom/sub.

Also high protocol refers to groups that adhere to strict roles and role based rules of conduct, whereas low protocol refers to groups that are more relaxed. Old Guard refers to high protocol groups, particularly gay leather BDSM groups.

History

The historical origins of BDSM are obscure. Some sources claim that BDSM, as a distinct form of sexual behaviour, originated at the beginnings of the nineteenth century, when Western civilization began medically and legally categorizing sexual behaviour. Other sources say that BDSM-like behaviour occurs in many other societies, such as the medieval flagellants or the physical ordeal rituals of some Native American societies.

The medieval phenomenon of courtly love in all of its slavish devotion and ambivalence, has been suggested by some writers to be a precursor of BDSM.

Although the names of the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch are attached to the terms sadism and masochism respectively, the question remains as to whether their ways of life would meet with modern BDSM standards of informed consent.

Robert Bienvenu attributes the origins of modern BDSM to three sources, which he names as "European Fetish" (from 1928), "American Fetish" (from 1934), and "Gay Leather" (from 1950).

Much of the BDSM ethos can be traced back to gay male leather culture, which grew out of post-WWII biker culture. This subculture is epitomized by the Leatherman's Handbook by Larry Townsend, published in 1972, which essentially defined the "Old Guard leather" culture. This code emphasized strict formality and fixed roles (i.e. no switching), and did not really include lesbian women or heterosexuals.

In 1981, however, the publication of Coming to Power by Samois led to a greater knowledge and acceptance of BDSM in the lesbian community.

Another source is the sexual games played in brothels, which go back into the nineteenth century if not earlier.

BDSM ideas and imagery have existed on the fringes of Western culture throughout the twentieth century. Some of the key artists were John Willie and Eric Stanton.

In the mid-nineties, the Internet provided a way of finding people with specialized interests around the world and communicating with them anonymously. This brought about an explosion of interest and knowledge of BDSM, particularly on the usenet group alt.sex.bondage. When that group became too choked with spam, the focus moved to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm.

New Guard leather subculture appeared around this time.

BDSM and fetish imagery has spread out into the mainstream of Western culture through avant-garde fashion, the gothic subculture, rap, hip-hop and heavy metal video clips, and science fiction television and movies.

The modern BDSM subculture is widespread. Most major cities in North America and western Europe have clubs and play parties, as well as informal, low-pressure gatherings called munches. There are also conventions like Living in Leather, TESfest and Black Rose, as well as the annual Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.

The Leather Pride Flag is a symbol used by the leather community or subculture.

See also

Notable authors (fiction and non-fiction):

Notable publishers (fiction and non-fiction):

Support groups:

International

The legal situation of sadomasochists varies greatly between countries. In Japan, Germany and the Scandinavian countries, consensual BDSM is legal. In other countries it is an example of a consensual crime.

At least in the western, industrialized countries and Japan, since the 1980s sadomasochists have begun to form information exchange and support groups to counter the discriminatory image held by orthodox science and parts of the public. This has happened independently in the USA and in several European countries. With the advent of the web, international cooperation has started to develop - for example Datenschlag is a joint effort of sadomasochists in the three major German-speaking countries, and the mailing list Schlagworte uses the model of a news agency to connect six countries.

Documentaries about BDSM

References and further reading

  • Pat Califia. Sensuous Magic. New York, Masquerade Books, 1993. ISBN 1-56333-131-4
  • Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs. Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission Villard Books, New York, 1993. ISBN 0-679-40873-8
  • Anita Phillips, A Defence of Masochism, Faber 1999.
  • Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, Greenery Press, 2000. ISBN 0963976389.
  • Philip Miller, Molly Devon, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Mystic Rose Books, 1995. ISBN 0964596008.
  • Gloria G. Brame, Come Hither : A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex, Fireside, 2000. ISBN 0684854627.
  • William A. Henkin, Sybil Holiday, Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely, Daedalus, 1996. ISBN 1881943127.
  • Robert Bienvenu, The Development of Sadomasochism as a Cultural Style in the Twentieth-Century United States, 2003, available in PDF format at http://www.americanfetish.net/
  • Timeline of events in BDSM history by Datenschlag (in German) http://www.datenschlag.org/dachs/index.html
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