Talk:Ivan Provorov
Ivan Provorov has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: April 20, 2021. (Reviewed version). |
A fact from Ivan Provorov appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 10 May 2021 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
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This is my first time posting on a talk page, apologies if I've done it wrong. There seems to be some confusion about Provorov's CHL draft position. Multiple articles reference him being taken 30th, but the CHL website itself (https://chl.ca/draft/2014) shows him going 25th. I'd changed it to 25th when I saw the CHL page, but with so many places mentioning 30th, I wanted to make some note about it. — Preceding unsigned comment added by LuluVohn (talk • contribs) 01:11, 13 January 2021 (UTC)
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Ivan Provorov/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 18:29, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.
If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)
I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.
Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)
Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.
Links
[edit]Prose
[edit]Lede
[edit]- Russian professional ice hockey defenceman and alternate captain for the Philadelphia Flyers of the National Hockey League (NHL). -Can we not say "player", and comment on his positions later? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- I reworded the first paragraph to split it into two sentences, but including position and captain/alternate captain is commonly used in ice hockey FAs and GAs (see Eric Brewer, Sidney Crosby, Kevin Hayes) Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Yaroslavl Lokomotiv youth hockey - WP:SEAOFBLUE Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- I removed the junior hockey link for the Knights. However, Since Yaroslavl Lokomotiv is a professional hockey club that also owns a youth team (from the articles I've read, in Russian hockey, you start playing for a club's youth team, and then you're expected to rise up to the KHL level), I think it's an important distinction to make here. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Knights junior hockey -same Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- United States Hockey League (USHL) -USHL isn't used in lede. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done removed acronym Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Link NHL Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- I'm not sure why I would do this when National Hockey League is linked above, with the NHL acronym next to it. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- in several tournaments - not encylopedic.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done reworded Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Lede should mention acolades. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
General
[edit]- where is DOB sourced? It's not in body. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- I added a citation in the lede. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- He learned to skate at the age of five - may need to be more specific. Could be Skateboarding. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done specified ice skating. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Knights junior hockey - seaofblue happens inbody as well. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done
- Neither of the sources say he learned English watching "American television and films", other than Gladiator, which I believe was filmed in England. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done reworded to "English-language films and television", based on the source sentence He watched a lot of television and movies, to help pick up the language, and specified Gladiator. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- championship team - which championship did they win?Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done specified. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- midget hockey team - still can't get over it's actually called this.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Link "drafted"? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- 2014 CHL Import Draft,- does that mean he played in Canada? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- I attempted to clarify. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- alongside future Flyer- you mean Philadelphia, not that he's actually flying? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done and delinked Flyers later in the body accordingly. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- The next year, - bit of an WP:EASTEREGG.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- second-highest rated defenceman - link defenceman.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Provorov was named to the Flyers' 2016–17 roster - *in.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done I think? I gave a date for it. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- franchise history- is franchise needed?Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done removed. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- averaging 25:07 of play - needs better wording.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done reworded. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- No Flyers defencemen scored ten or more goals that season,[27] and Provorov netted only seven goals and 26 points across the 82-game season.[20] - not sure what the first part is important to the second.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done clarified that the defence performance was overall very poor, and that Provy was one of the ones blamed for it. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- link alternate captain in body.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- On 18 February 2021, Provorov surpassed Claude Giroux's 328-game iron man streak, coming in second to Rod Brind'Amour for most consecutive games played in Flyers franchise history. - isn't this still ongoing though? Can't really come in second.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- I tried to rephrase this as best I could. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- THe above should probably be in the lede.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done added. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- The images in the international results table are a bit weird. Why do we need medals? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:29, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Again, this is common in other ice hockey FAs and GAs, like Eric Brewer, Scott Laughton, and Carter Hart. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:53, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Hi guys, I only have one additional issue - could we source the "Career statistics" section, if so, happy to pass. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 09:09, 13 April 2021 (UTC)
- Lee Vilenski I didn't see this comment until now, apologies! The issue has been addressed. Kncny11 (shoot) 19:24, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
Review meta comments
[edit]- I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:29, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
- Happy to pass. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:30, 20 April 2021 (UTC)
Did you know? nomination
[edit]- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:18, 8 May 2021 (UTC)
- ... that Ivan Provorov moved to Pennsylvania from Russia at the age of 13 to play ice hockey? Source: "At age 13, Provorov left his parents, brother and sister in Yaroslavl, Russia, for Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania."
- ALT1:... that the last time Ivan Provorov missed a game of ice hockey, he was ten years old and had contracted chickenpox? Source: "Ivan Provorov's last missed game? Age 10, chicken pox"
- Reviewed: Omega Mart
Improved to Good Article status by Kncny11 (talk). Self-nominated at 14:51, 20 April 2021 (UTC).
General: Article is new enough and long enough |
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Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems |
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Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation |
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QPQ: Done. |
A "billet family"
[edit]This expression in "Early Life" (2nd paragraph) is almost illiterate -- perhaps an expression from someone who hasn't mastered the English language. The WP link indicates this to be an obscure term with quasi-military connotations (generally forced by an invading army and almost always negative). "American host family" is the proper term here. 173.77.71.234 (talk) 17:24, 18 January 2023 (UTC)
- I agree that the term, billet family, is inappropriate, especially with a link to the corresponding Wikipedia article. However, the subject himself used exactly that term in a quote in one of the sources. Apparently, that is why it was used. That being said, I have replaced the term with the suggested alternative, American host family. I also tried to improve the rest of the sentence.
- Shortsword (talk) 17:56, 18 January 2023 (UTC)
- "Billet family" is the correct term, used by junior ice hockey leagues to describe the families that host players drafted by teams far from home. See articles like this and this from USA Hockey, and this from Sports Illustrated. I have restored the earlier phrasing and specified that the link should go to the "Amateur sports" section of the Billet page. — GhostRiver 20:18, 18 January 2023 (UTC)
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