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Requests for Feedback

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This page provides comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have drafted, created, or substantially changed.
This is not a general help page. To seek assistance or ask a question, see Wikipedia:Questions.
If you are seeking an outside opinion about a dispute, please follow the steps in Wikipedia:Dispute resolution.
Please note that this page is patrolled by volunteer editors just like you and it may take several days to review your request.

Before you request feedback

There are certain things which come up again and again so it may help if you deal with them before requesting feedback:

Does your article have reliable sources? These are important in terms of both verifiability and notability.
Do you have a conflict of interest that may harm your ability to produce a neutral article?

If you would like a beginner's guide to these sorts of issues, take a look at the article wizard.

If you are unsure about how to edit Wikipedia articles, take a look at this tutorial.

For a more general discussion of writing your first article, see "Your first article".

How to post a request

Place a Wikilink, with the title of the page inside [[ and ]] - for example, [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] - in the box below.
Click Click To Add Request
In the new article, Write a brief summary of your work or what in particular you need help with, but do not post the whole article here.
If you have rewritten an existing article, you may wish to provide a diff link from that article's history that shows your changes.
Check regularly for responses to your request; they will most often be made here.

↓ Post your request using the box below. Replace "Untitled" with a wikilink to your article - e.g. [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] ↓

After Receiving Feedback

Check back here often, as you will receive a response here.
Respond to the feedback, either with a simple thank you, to ask for help with anything mentioned, or, after you've made some of the improvements, what they think of them.
Consider helping out here in the future - anyone can read up on what articles should be like and provide constructive criticism.

Are you providing feedback?

Please consider notifying the user whose article you are providing feedback for by placing a message on their talk page, so they will be able to read it in a timely manner and reply if necessary. You can use..
- {{Feedbackreply-sm}} A template asking the user to check back here and consider responding
- {{Feedbackreply-alt}} A more personal version of the first offering your help with developing, moving to mainspace, etc.

Click here to purge this page (For help, see Wikipedia:Purge)

The previous few days of requests are transcluded below. The pages for the past 20 days are: (click here to refresh)

Index of all requests for feedback

Template:Werdnabot

Palit

Please check this work. Thanks —Preceding unsigned comment added by 71.165.35.109 (talk) 22:12, 30 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Assuming you mean the addition of the claim the company was acquired by Palit, it was placed in the reference section, rather than in the body of the article, and it has no reference, so it will be reverted.--SPhilbrick T 20:44, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Aquarian Calendar

I would like to post this on Wikipedia, any feedback is appreciated. I have three references but don't know if they are good enough. Aquarian Calendar - Clock AquarianCalendar ```` Thanks Kelly —Preceding unsigned comment added by BirchRiver (talk • contribs) 23:29, 30 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If you're talking about User:BirchRiver/Aquarian Calendar, Wikipedia is not for things made up one day. --Orange Mike | Talk 23:49, 30 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Jonas S. Chartock

I am looking for feedback on the article Jonas S. Chartock Thank you. - Brian John Baker —Preceding unsigned comment added by Brianjackbaker (talk • contribs) 17:58, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft is User:Brianjackbaker/JonasSChartock

Wp:Notability is very important and should be asserted in the opening paragraph. I think that can be done, but it hasn't yet been done.
Your citation style wasn't consistent with desired styles. I've converted your citations to a better style, though questions still remain.
Your first footnote presumably supports the claim he was named Executive Director. I don't see it. Perhaps you linked to the main page, not the page supporting the claim.
Your second footnote is identical to the first; again I don't see support for the claim
The third footnote refers to 64 schools, yet you say "over 65". I confess I read it quickly, but confirm that you claim is supported.
You claim he is on the board of BAP, but the citation doesn't mention his name. I thought perhaps you made the mistake of linking to the main page, rather than the page with the Board members but i don't see his name there.
Your NACSA link doesn't mention Chartock; I've taken the liberty of adding one that does.
The link after The Berkshire Ramblers is to a bank, doesn't seem right so I didn't convert it.--SPhilbrick T 20:39, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Flying Saucer Films

I'm looking for feedback. I've recently edited this page again and added some links.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Julesdylan/Flying_Saucer_Films

Thanks for your help.

Sincerely, Julesdylan (talk) 18:34, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please consider looking at the page of another film company, ideally one at the level of Wikipedia:Good articles or Wikipedia:Featured articles, as a model. I don't know enough about the industry to give you a specific suggestion, but if you look at any of the Good or Featured articles, you'll see that the desired layout is very different than your current version.--SPhilbrick T 20:03, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I looked at the good articles and featured articles and couldn't find anything from film producers. Though I did find quite a few pages - it looks as though I don't have the extra content to post. Most of these good or featured articles are much more in depth than I plan to get with this article. I just wanted this to be a small stub article. Is this good enough to post? How do I go about uploading an image without authorization (just to my sandbox)? I'd like to post as is with one image of the logo. Is this an option? Thanks for your help.

Julesdylan (talk) 18:53, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sure you can create a stub. As long as it is not spammy and indicates how the subject is notable (with a reference) it should be OK. As for uploading logos, this is permissible under the non-free content policy, see WP:Logos. – ukexpat (talk) 19:27, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Energetic neutral atom

Energetic neutral atom My first Wikipedia article, this describes a technology developed to create images of the Earth's magnetosphere and the solar system's heliosphere by detecting energetic neutral atoms (ENAs) created when the solar wind interacts with planetary atmospheres or, in the case of the heliosphere, with the local interstellar medium. It is well supported with appropriate citations and links to other Wikipedia articles. My questions:

it started of as a small article about energetic neutral atoms and grew to a larger article about the imaging technology. I think the page should be renamed Energetic Neutral Atom Imaging. Can I do this? What are the implications?
Is it intelligible to a less technical reader while informing a more technical reader?
Is the style neutral but not too dry? Is it interesting/engaging?
Are there guidelines for using wikilinks? For example, magnetosphere is used frequently. Should I always wikilink it? Only the first time? The first time in each section?
What quality level is it at? I am aiming for GA - how close am I?

This is really quite a novel technology and I hope that the article conveys some enthusiasm while maintaining the appropriate neutral tone. I read some of the guidelines on the Peer Review page and tried to incorporate some of the advice I saw there. But I'm sure there are some Wikipedia "tricks of the trade" that would improve the article. Any other comments would be most welcome. Canuck100 (talk) 08:23, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This article looks quite good. Although I am interested in the subject, I don't have enough specific knowledge to give you good advice. The is an Astronomy Project; I skimmed the project page to see if there was a specific mechanism to ask for help–if there is one, I missed it. However, there is a long list of editors involved in the project. The simplest thing to do would be to pick one at random, and post a request on their talk page. If you want to do a little homework, you might look at the contributions of some of the participants, and find one with particular interest in your area of interest. For example, someone narrowing interested in cosmology might not be able to help with the particle physics aspects of the article you've started.

I don't have a Good article to my credit yet, so I'm not the right person to ask about the process, but editors at Project quality task force should be able to help.--SPhilbrick T 18:12, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Equality and Diversity Forum

User:Mickakelly/Equality_and_Diversity_Forum

Equality and Diversity Forum

Hello,

I'd appreciate some feedback on this page please.

Thanks in advance,

Mick Kelly 13:54, 2 November 2009 (UTC)

A large part of the text in your draft article seems to have been copied from the Equality and Diversity Forum web site. On the face of it, this appears to be a copyright infringement, which is not allowed in Wikipedia. You should carefuly read our policy on copyright violations, then try rewriting the text in your own words. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:00, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Busted! Yes, EDF gave me permission to use their copy but I see your point. Thanks. Mick Kelly 09:11, 3 November 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mickakelly (talk • contribs)

You need to go through certain procedures to be able to demonstrate the the copyright owners have actually released their material under the same licenses as Wikipedia - see Wikipedia:Requesting copyright permission. This is a potential minefield, and with text it is usually far quicker and easier to rewrite the text in your own words. Also, if you are connected with the subject of the article (if, for example, you work for them or they have commissioned you to write a Wikipedia article about them) then you also need to read our conflict of interest guideline. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:18, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Joe M. Turner

User:J.orangeblossom/Joe M. Turner

I'm working on an entry about the magician, speaker and author Joe M. Turner. He is linked in another entry on Wikipedia (Genii magazine) but the link goes nowhere so I thought I'd put an article together. I have cited newspapers, magazines, and other editorially-controlled sources, in addition to some online-only references and his own web sites. The words in the article are original and not copied from other sides.

What improvements should I make before making this live? I tried using the wizard and based the structure on other speaker/entertainer biographies that I see online already. I can upload a photo later - I just want to make sure that the article itself conforms to standards.

Thanks for your feedback. J.orangeblossom (talk) 18:39, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm tagging this again as I've seen that some feedback has been given elsewhere since I posted this. I'd like to get a couple of eyeballs on this now to avoid having it taken apart or taken down later for something I could have fixed on the front end.

Thanks for your help! J.orangeblossom (talk) 19:56, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm looking at it now.--SPhilbrick T 23:07, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In general, looks quite good, especially for someone new to WP.

I have to ask first if you are Joe. Please read WP:COI.
One of the key hurdles to pass is Notability
I see indication this article should pass, but many of the assertions helpful to the case are not referenced. Lack of referencing is one thing that trips up many new editor; I note you have quite a few references, but some of the things that should be referenced are not. For example, appearances on CNN Headline News, Good Morning America and Nightline will go a long way to establishing notability (assuming you aren't the guy in the rope line waving), but we need specifics. A link to Reliable Source showing Joe was the guest will suffice.
It sounds like Genii is a magazine, but when I poke around, it looks like an online forum. Is there a print version? Is it edited?
Appearing at the Magic Castle is quite cool. But begs for a citation.
Your first link is to About.com, which is an excerpt of a longer piece in Gwinnett Business Journal. I'm fairly sure the later would be a better source - any particular reason you wanted the About.com link? Oh, I see, you used the Gwinnett Business Journal as the second citation. That leaves me uncomfortable. I'd have to research the rules, if there are any, but I'd be much happier if you used the second link, so as not to imply there are two distinct citations.
I'm very happy that you named your references–but you didn't use the ideal citation style. I'll convert footnote 2. You can make it easy to do citations by going to "My preferences" (top of the page) then Gadgets, and click the box next to "refTools"
FYI, I'm using the WP:LDR citation style.
"He was named Greater Atlanta Magician of the Year in 2000." Congrats to Joe, but is that the best link available?
"He cites Johnny Carson, Dick Van Dyke, Red Skelton and Victor Borge as additional influences on his style." Reliable source to support this?
"He later wrote and composed the stage musical BankNote$" The citation for this accomplishment is a Class Note page, which generally just prints whatever one sends them. Surely there is note of this in a reliable source?
"He was named to the university Hall of Fame" Which university? When? Needs a citation.
"He is a co-author of the business book Hypergrowth..." Is this a real book?
"the magic book Scripting Magic by Pete McCabe" Is this out yet? At least it looks real.
Despite my longish list, this article is in much better shape than many new attempts. Unfortunately I have to caveat that I didn't list all items which need to be addressed, but if you can nail down Notability, I think this article has promise.--SPhilbrick T 23:58, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have added links for Good Morning America and cited some of the other sources, some more reliable than others. Genii is a print magazine that is edited. I've changed the first About.com link so they are not related.

I have video of the CNN appearance but it is not available online except as part of Turner's promotional video. It is easy enough to cite the date, but a live link to that is not possible.

There's no need to link to the actual video, as the assertion isn't about something said in the clip, but merely the existence of the clip. A reference to date and time might be sufficient, but an entry in a schedule would be better. Sorry not to be definitive, but this place has rules for just about everything, and my quick glance didn't identify rules for citing television clips.

If I come up with other thoughts, I'll post on the article talk page.--SPhilbrick T 14:27, 4 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the help. I'll work on the ref styles. J.orangeblossom (talk) 01:42, 4 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Also note that since CNN is Atlanta-based, a lot of Atlanta folks appear on it, so an appearance on CNN by an Atlantan is not a good indication of notability (heck, my little sister has been on CNN in her role as a sports psychologist; but that doesn't make her notable). --Orange Mike | Talk 16:07, 4 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the assists. An explanation of the CNN appearance's notability will be added to the article. J.orangeblossom (talk) 02:08, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Digicorp Information Systems Pvt Ltd.

[Digicorp Information Systems]

I am in the process of writing about Digicorp Information Systems, and was extremely curious to get feedback on whatever I have written thus far. Please help me out.

Socialwebcatalyst (talk) 20:58, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

What you've written so far would be deleted as an advertisement or as a non-notable service. The best way to write an article is to find reliable sources that discuss the company, and write the article based on the content you can find in those sources. Official websites and such are not reliable sources for this purpose. Someguy1221 (talk) 00:37, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Brenda Jean Patrick

Brenda Jean Patrick Please review this to see if meets your requirements. Although I have been a journalist for many years, this is my first submission to Wikipedia. Thank you.Captaincorgi (talk) 23:25, 2 November 2009 (UTC)Captaincorgi Nov. 2, 2009[reply]

Your draft is here. Thanks for starting in userspace, as you haven't yet met some of the minimum requirements; writing in user space helped avoid the chance it will be deleted before you can address the issues.

One of the important requirements for an article is to establish Notability.

Please take a look at WP:Layout. You've provided some references, but they are not formatted the way references should be formatted here (you obviously know how to do references, but there are some special features here to help readers easily access citatios). See Wikipedia:Citing sources for more information. It isn't a requirement to have online references, but if there are some it would help to establish notability.

Claims such as this: "She is a descendant of Robert Morris, who financed the American Revolution and is one of only two people to sign the three significant founding documents of the United States--the Declaration of Independence, the Articles of Confederation, and the U.S. Constitution." require references.--SPhilbrick T 17:55, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Azambaqa/Dr. Muhammad Mazhar Baqa

Hi... I have created this page. Can someone please give me some feedback and what's next. Thank you --Azambaqa (talk) 01:03, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I see that a number of editors have provided(overwhlemed?) you with suggestions for improvement, so I won't add to the list.--SPhilbrick T 18:42, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hyogo Performing Arts Center

I've recently created a Wikipedia entry for the Hyogo Performing Arts Center, a performing arts center in Japan. The Wikipedia article briefly describes the venue and its programming.

Joer (talk) 12:15, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I suggest formatting the References section the same way the External Links section has been formatted. -Stonnman Stonnman (talk) 18:03, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Enterprise Data Recording

Enterprise Data Recording Danicrank (talk) 14:38, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article is here User:Danicrank/Enterprise Data Recording(I don't have time to look at it now, maybe someone else can take a look)--SPhilbrick T 00:09, 4 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At first blush it looks a little spammy to me, focusing too much on Axxana and not enough on the subject matter. It also has notability issues -- are there any references from reliable third party sources, ie unconnected with the company, that demonstrate notability? – ukexpat (talk) 19:32, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Gridiron Gang (2006) film

Hey guys, just found that some of the information about Gridiron Gang (2006) ,a film starring Dwayne Johnson, Xzibit, L. Scott Caldwell, and Kevin Dunn, is wrong or perhaps was wrongly copy-pasted from a Tekken Film or something. The error on the article is at the bottom of the page (the Cast list), it states names of fighters of Tekken instead of the names of the movie's characters.

-Here is the link to the page, [[1]] -At the bottom of the page (Cast Section - wrong names)

Sorry I'm not providing the right information to be posted instead, but at least I'm sure that the information there is wrong. Sorry if this is not supossed to be posted in this section, if this is not the section a link to the actual section to post future findings would be nice.

Thanks for your time.

190.155.146.60 (talk) 18:27, 3 November 2009 (UTC)Tuesday 03/11/09 13:21pm GMT -5[reply]

If you are fairly sure of yourself, some would give you advice to just make the change yourself. An alternative is to post the information on the talk page, where other, experienced aditors can make the correction. I'll do that for you.--SPhilbrick T 00:06, 4 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Pennsylvania Canal (Delaware Division)

I've made additions w/citations and a couple of corrections to the article stub Pennsylvania Canal (Delaware Division). The purpose is to flesh out the stub and provide a more detailed history of the Canal. Thank you. -- Wellred, 11/3/09 Wellred (talk) 19:06, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for adding nicely written material and especially, references to support the material. Much improved.

However, you were looking for feedback. The layout is now unbalanced. A good layout includes an opening lead, size dependent on the length of the entire article. In this case, a two paragraph lead might be about right. This one has more in the lead than in the remaining sections.

Would it make sense to add a section break after the second paragraph, and call it history? I've only skimmed the article, so I don't want to make the change myself, but take a look at WP:Layout and see if you can identify where a section break would make sense, and what its name should be. Don't hesitate to re-organize material if that helps.--SPhilbrick T 18:36, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Mikhail Chumakov

I have created my first new article User:Komich/Mikhail Chumakov over a week ago. It was not reviewed yet and is still siting on my user page. What should happen next? Will it be approved by somebody and moved to Wikipedia open side? What can I do to make it happen? —Preceding undated comment added 04:48, 4 November 2009 (UTC).

I have reviewed your draft article and made some minor edits. The next stage is to move it into main article space. You can move the article yourself, once your account is autoconfirmed - see Help:Moving a page for instructions. Alternatively, you can ask someone else to move the page by posting a request at Wikipedia:Requested moves. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:12, 4 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Bible Criticism (online resources)

Hi, I think this is the only article specifically on online bible criticism resources; it should be fairly solid academically (I'm a Bible prof and I ran it by a couple colleagues), but it's still flagged as "unreviewed." Could someone take a quick glance?

many thanks, Pesiqta

Pesiqta (talk) 23:49, 4 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nice start, but it does need some work.

First, take a look at WP:Layout and in particular Wikipedia:Lead section

You've provided some nice references, but they are not formatted the way references should be formatted. See Wikipedia:Citing sources for more information.

Many of the claims need a citation. For example - "The first online presentation of Biblical sources is Biblecriticism.com" is hard to believe. It appears to be a 2009 site. I'm sure there are older examples. --SPhilbrick T 16:55, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A.J. Verel

I run a fan group for some Hall of Fame athletes and just created a page (article) on A.J. Verel. I have never used wikipedia before and need some constructive criticism on the page and how I can make it more visually appealing....

Brion Davis A.J. Verel (talk) 02:12, 5 November 2009 (UTC) 11/4/09 A.J. Verel (talk) 02:12, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article has already been deleted; the reasons are listed on your talk page. By the way, I assume you are not A.J. Verel, in which case you'll want to select a different user name. Ask if you have any questions.--SPhilbrick T 18:50, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Jack Paris

My article for wrestling manager Jack Paris is only searchable by that name. I cannot link his real name to be searchable as well. Thanks for any help 148.177.1.211 (talk) 03:27, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I added a hatnote to Ken Burmeister; does that work for you?--SPhilbrick T 18:48, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback Request for "Steel Abrasives"

Hi,

I have written an informative article about [[Steel Abrasives]. The draft is currently under my user account (Kzerrin (talk) 14:43, 5 November 2009 (UTC)). Before publishing[reply]

(1) Can you please give me some feedback about the article and inform me if it is okay to add a producer name for these abrasives?

(2) Can you help me upload a picture since I want to use a photo of an atomization process for steel abrasives and I have the permission of the company to use their photo. Is it okay to put it on wikipedia and what is the process for this?

3) Eventually can you help me move the article?

Thanks in advance for your help!

This is a tough one.

First, I see someone has moved it for you, so if anyone else wants to supply feedback, it is here: Steel abrasives.

My first thought is that the "meat" of the article is fairly thin, so I wondered if it would better if it were part of a wider topic, such as Abrasives. I checked, and there is an article on the broader subject Abrasive. That article has problems itself—it was originally written in 2003 and 2004, when editors were less stringent about requiring references and inline citations.

However, I wonder if it wouldn't be better to use the material you have on steel abrasives to expand and improve the abrasives article. My guess is that isn't your first choice, but I don't see the article as adequate as it stands, so it either needs a fair amount of improvement, or it should be merged into abrasive.

I note that the abrasive article isn't exhaustive, I didn't see any mention of crushed walnut shells as an abrasive. I've used walnut shells to abrade aluminum parts.

The article needs references. I see you have added a list of references, but you need to tie specific statements in the article (e.g. 'The reason is that spherical shots are more resistant to the fracture which happens due to the striking impact") to a page of one of the references. See Wikipedia:Inline citation for more information. If you can tell me the name of the reference and page number, I can show you how to do one as an example.

Regarding the picture, we can help you do that. Please make sure than when the company says you can use the picture, they understand this means release it under a free license, not just release it for use on Wikipedia. See Wikipedia:Images for more information. See Wikipedia:Image copyright tags for acceptable licenses.
T:hat page can be a bit overwhelming; but if the company would accept a Creative Commons license, it would be best to upload on Wikimedia Commons. If we get that far, I can try to help, or find someone with more image experience.--SPhilbrick T 15:54, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

See below and Wikipedia:New contributors' help page#Need feedback for my article "Steel Abrasives". Let's centralise the discussion in one place please. – ukexpat (talk) 16:30, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

TC GIG

TC GIG Markevanskirkpatrick (talk) 20:30, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That article neither exists currently nor ever existed. Intelligentsium 02:32, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's in draft at User:Markevanskirkpatrick/TC GIG. At the moment it is IMHO way too promotional to be moved to the mainspace. – ukexpat (talk) 15:40, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Major revision of Aurora (astronomy)

User talk:Canuck100/Aurora (astronomy) The current Aurora (astronomy)page is very disorganized in the technical aspects of its presentation and contains unreferenced material, some dubious references and some outright incorrect information. One section is clearly speculative and is tagged as such.

I have created a complete revision of these sections and propose to replace the sections entitled Auroral mechanism, Forms and magnetism, Solar wind and the magnetosphere, Frequency of occurrence, Origin, Sources and types and On other planets with my revision found at User talk:Canuck100/Aurora (astronomy). All of my information includes references to credible sources. Because this is a major revision, I would appreciate feedback before I make the change. You can add feedback at my talk page. Canuck100 (talk) 22:24, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewers needed urgently

CAT:AFC is horribly backlogged, with 2,706 pending submissions. Reviewers, such as those who linger about this page, are needed over there post-haste. Intelligentsium 02:30, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Need feedback for my article "Steel Abrasives"

Hi,

I have written an informative article about Steel Abrasives. The draft is currently under my user account Kzerrin (talk) 12:55, 6 November 2009 (UTC). Before publishing[reply]

(1) Can you please give me some feedback about the article and inform me if it is okay to add a producer name for these abrasives?

(2) Can you help me upload a picture since I want to use a photo of an atomization process for steel abrasives and I have the permission of the company to use their photo. Is it okay to put it on wikipedia and what is the process for this?

3) Eventually can you help me move the article?

Thanks very much for your help!

I replied to your crosspost at WP:NCHP, see Wikipedia:New contributors' help page#Need feedback for my article "Steel Abrasives". – ukexpat (talk) 15:43, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

See also above--SPhilbrick T 18:59, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:LenniMFW/My first wheels!

Hi, I've just created a subpage draft and would like to ask for some feedback before posting. Thanks! --LenniMFW (talk) 15:36, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's currently at User:LenniMFW/My first wheels!. At the moment it is not ready to be moved to the mainspace. Please take a look at WP:CORP for our guidelines on notability of organisations and WP:RS for our guidelines on reliable sources. – ukexpat (talk) 15:47, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

New Page for the Green Lake Festival of Music

Green Lake Festival of Music

Would like some feedback on page. Especially sources and content.

Thanks!

Glfestival (talk) 15:39, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Glfestival/Green Lake Festival of Music. At the moment it is way too promotional to be moved to the mainspace, please take a look at WP:Spam. It will have to be toned down considerably before it can be moved. – ukexpat (talk) 15:49, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Why was my article deleted?

Hi I am trying to create an article about an award winning super producer/song writer and it was deleted, can someone please help me with this situation? thanks so much

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_H.

Thanks for your help...Amber

—Preceding unsigned comment added by AmberHopeEyre (talk • contribs) 16:57, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Deleted because it did not indicate the importance or significance of the subject. Please take a look at: WP:BIO, WP:MUSIC, WP:RS and WP:YFA for assistance. – ukexpat (talk) 17:08, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Margaret Holland Sargent

Hello Wikipedia,

I'd like someone to review this article so the "new unreviewed article" template can be removed.

Thanks.

-Stonnman

Stonnman (talk) 17:54, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I cleaned up some of the formatting and added a couple of maintenance templates - some more references would be good and they should be cited in-line per WP:CITE. Do you have any more details - education (school, college), artistic influences and style? Let us know if you need more help. – ukexpat (talk) 18:31, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for adding the sections at the bottom. I added two footnotes. While there aren't many articles on the web about Margaret Holland Sargent, it seems clear she is one of the more prominent portraitists in the U.S., having painted two U.S. Presidents. The correct spelling of her last name is "Sargent", not "Sargeant". I hope this helps. Stonnman (talk) 20:04, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Cross-Sell

I am working on a post about Cross-Sell User: Vincs89/Cross-Sell and I would certainly welcome any feedback and suggestions so that I can get it in good shape before moving it from draft to live. Thanks Vincs89 (talk) 20:25, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The big problem here is notability - please read WP:CORP. You will also need some reliable sources, as defined in WP:RS to support claims of notability - note that the company's website and press releases don't count, you need significant coverage in third party sources. – ukexpat (talk) 20:51, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Is this a new article, or a revision of the one deleted this morning from User:Cross-Sell/cross-sell as mentioned in #cross-sell above? Certes (talk) 21:41, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like the same damned thing, pretty much word-for-word. --Orange Mike | Talk 21:53, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Then I suspect (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion) still applies. I'll inform DGG. Certes (talk) 22:49, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, it's the same. Vince, I'm holding off deletion to give you a chance to find what is needed, references providing substantial coverage from 3rd party independent published reliable sources, print or online, but not blogs or press releases, or material derived from press releases. The question I have is given that it is endorsed by only a few state association, and provides less than 2,000 report a year, how can it possibly be notable? Somes ourced data on market share would be helpful. DGG ( talk ) 10:05, 7 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hibla Gerzmava

User:NKuprava/HiblaGerzmava

Hello, this is my very first article on wiki.
I've tried to start writing about one the greatest opera singers alive (that's my opinion at least). Could you please have a look and tell me if it makes a good start of the page.

Thank you very much in advance

Nino
NKuprava (talk) 22:10, 6 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The draft article is a good start. I have made some minor copyedits. It needs additional references from third-party sources (press articles etc.) to show notability. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:19, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. There are a lot of artictles in russian, not so many in english yet ... In december she will be performing in Covent Garden again, i'll add more press after that. NKuprava (talk) 22:52, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I tweaked it a little more - refined the categories (if you have a subcat, you don't need the parent cat too) etc. – ukexpat (talk) 19:42, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the input. Nino 16:23, 11 November 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by NKuprava (talk • contribs)

Professor Charles Stuart-Harris

hi

can you please review, and add to this article.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Herbert_Stuart-Harris

i think the creator of the flu vaccine deserves a mention here.

thanks Dr. julian Roberts —Preceding unsigned comment added by Julianrob77 (talk • contribs) 15:30, 7 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

He is almost certainly notable per Wikipedia requirements, but the article needs some cited references to reliable sources to support notability. Also, the text reads like it came from an obituary - has it been copypasted from somewhere else? – ukexpat (talk) 19:52, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Anne King Gregorie

I just wrote my first Wiki Article. I was going to try and link to a book that Anne King Gregorie wrote.

I plan on writing more information as time goes on.

There is a biography about her that I cite as a source.

I feel that she is a notable figure as she has written fairly extensive historical material about South Carolina and served as editor for the South Carolina Historical Magazine as well as Director of the S C Historical Society.

Future information that I would like to include is her geneological link to who are known as the "Academic Gregories" (David and James Gregor(y)) who were noted astronomers and mathematicians at the University of Edinburgh.

Any advice on how to proceed on writing and linking to other articles regarding that area would be helpful.

Thank you

--Caelidh (talk) 19:26, 7 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article Anne King Gregorie needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:29, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

TextBEAST clipboard + image + capture

Hello, I am requesting feedback on my new article TextBEAST clipboard + image + capture about a software application.

Thanks!

VB123 (talk) 00:54, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs more sources, and specifcially needs references to third-party sources to show the notability of its subject. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:36, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Legal Information Retrieval

Hello all, I've just finished Legal Information Retrieval, my first article. It covers the science of Information Retrieval and it's specific applications and problems to the legal field. If it gets approved, I hope to link it to the plain text mention in Information retrieval applications. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

188.74.83.20 (talk) 02:30, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good -- I made a few minor edits as have a few other editors, and it made the DYK section of the main page on 11/9/09 - congratulations! Please make sure that you are signed in when editing - I assume that you are User:Cyprusxr3. Also, please use edit summaries when you make your edits! Thanks. – ukexpat (talk) 20:40, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much for the review Ukexpat. I was indeed at that IP, must have forgotten the log in. I'll also be more careful about edit summaries in the future. Getting posted to the DYK section was very exciting! Thanks again for the help and tips. Cyprusxr3 (talk) 03:12, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft article: Obama Conspiracy Theories [the web site] feedback requested

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kwdavids/Obama_Conspiracy_Theories

Thanks, Kevin (talk) 02:59, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I can not move my article... Please help

Hello, I have created a new page User:Theultravisitor/enjoythezoo But I'm unable to move it, I have seeked much advice and help on making my article up to wiki standards. (Which I believe I have). Thanks for all the help!

Theultravisitor (talk) 03:21, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It appears it has been nominated for WP:AfD, so I'll let that process take over.--SPhilbrick T 23:01, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Marc Israel

Article name: Marc Israel

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Harvey_lee_songfeld/new_article_name_here#Life

```` —Preceding unsigned comment added by Harvey lee songfeld (talk • contribs) 13:16, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Primer dimer

Hi there, I would love to have your feedback on my (first) new article about Primer dimers, by products in PCR, a common method used in molecular biology. The article will benefit from the treatment of a native english speaker and one who is familiar with wiki style. Thanks in advance :o) Tzachi Bar (talk) 14:49, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm so impressed. Just a few notes: 1)There are no inline citations in nearly the first half of the article. 2)It's not recommended to have a seperate summary section in Wikipedia. 3)The illustration title has a typo mistake, it says: "dimmer". Sole Soul (talk) 18:53, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

hi, thanks for the compliment and the feedback. I fixed the figure and moved the summary to the body of the text. There are no references in the first half of the text mostly because it is based on very old (20-25 years) material which became commmon knowledge for people working in the field. However, if you find on-line references from these years you are welcome to add them.Tzachi Bar (talk) 21:31, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hassaan Namdar

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ashuhsan1/Hassaan_Namdar:[[Hassaan Namdar] —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ashuhsan1 (talk • contribs) 15:51, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yaesu_FT-990

Reviews of the new page "Yaesu_FT-990" is requested and appreciated. Thank you. jvarn359 19:00, 8 November 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jvarn359 (talk • contribs)

The Polyphonics Chorus

My first effort. Hope is Ok

The Polyphonics (talk) 23:39, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs a lot of work before it is ready for main article space. Here are some suggestions:

Read the Manual of Style and the layout guideline to find out the correct layout for a Wikipedia article. In particular, note the standard sections that are required in a Wikipedia article.
Add sources for the facts quoted on the article.
Add references to independent, third-party sources to show the notability of the article's subject. This is very important.
Note that links to external web sites should be moved into references or into an External links section - they should not usually be embedded in the article text. Gandalf61 (talk) 09:37, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Little Foundation

Please take a look at The Little Foundation article. It needs reveiewing by someone other than myself - it is a short article so shouldn't take much time. The sources have been verified and fact checked but of course there may be errors and omissions that I have over looked and wiki editing mistakes (my first article) although I have read the tutorials and used a wizard. Thank you for your time.Timfacer (talk) 10:48, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs more sources, and specifcially needs references to third-party sources to show the notability of its subject. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:46, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

See WP:CORP for guidance on notability of organisations. – ukexpat (talk) 17:54, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Interactive Design Institute

Hi Wiki editors,

I would be really grateful for any feedback on my draft article.

User:Emmasinclair/new_article_name_here

thanks so much

Emmasinclair (talk) 13:32, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You will need to cite some reliable sources that demonstrate how the Institute is notable. Notability is the primary inclusion criterion here on Wikipedia, so without references for notability the article will not survive long on mainspace. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:54, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Institute of Plant Genetic

Hello, here is the article I was asked a feedback: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_of_plant_genetic

Thank you for your help.

Cypherinfo (talk) 13:49, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The facts given in the article need references that link them to the sources from which the facts were taken. In addition, the article needs references to third-party sources to show the notability of its subject. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:12, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

page for Dr. Shashi P. Karna (world's reknowned nano Physicst)

Though still in the making, I thought of creating a wiki page for one of the most top most nano Physicist Dr. Shashi P. Karna. Will appreciate any and all comments about the page.

Few things which I am yet to do:

1. fix the reference, external and internal links (still figuring out how to do that). 2. waiting on to get a list from his fellow student on a)his 500+ papers b)his work cross referenced at 300+ papers including few noble laureates c)latest list of conference and symposiums he chaired 3. upload newer picture

thanks Ishekhar (talk) 15:34, 9 November 2009 (UTC)Indu (redacted email)[reply]

Looks like you figured out how to do external references; but you have a few more to do. Someone helped fix the internal references; if you look at the edit history, you'll see how it was done. Good start.--SPhilbrick T 19:30, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Kbaughan1/Hamilton Road Cemetery, Deal, Kent

Hi,

Just looking for some constructive feedback on how I can improve my article prior to publishing it in its own right? Kbaughan1 (talk) 17:20, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You've done a lot of work on this article, very nice start. Thnaks for all the references, one of the usual problems with new article is a paucity of references.

My Main suggestion is to take a look at WP:Layout. You've done a decent job of creating relevant sections, but some of the advice in Layout should improve the article. For example, the lead should have one photograpph, pick the most representative one, and anchor it in the upper right.
It is natural to create numbered lists of the graves by section, but the presentation could be better. You should look at Wikipedia:Lists for ways to improve the presentation. I wonder if tables might be a better way? You might look at other article on cemeteries, e.g. Arlington National Cemetery, for ideas.
Your "Sources" section entries should use Wikipedia:Citation templates
The Press Section section doesn't belong there. If used as a reference, it should be converted to a reference. --SPhilbrick T 18:25, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Torben Thoger

Hello, I am Villy Johansen (Username Villyjohan) and have almost an article / biography ready on [Torben Thoger] and would very much like to have some comments on my article. I have put plenty of links to verify the facts, but I did not mention any references yet. Where would it be appropiate to have references? Much of the information - for instance about Torben Thoger's childhood and his interest in spirituality, I have from himself, since I have interviewed him to get it all directly from the main source. How do I put that information in the article? I cannot upload photos and I wonder how I can fill in the contents box, but I guess I will be able to do all that when it has been saved for approval. Of course I have read as much I could about the editing, but this is my first article and I would be very grateful for any help to improve the biography on Torben Thoger. --Villyjohan (talk) 19:43, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I see two important concerns:

You should address the first one first, as making proper references is a bit of work, and I don't want to encourage you to do that work if you cannot establish notability.

The link above is the general discussion of notability, for more specific discussion of people in the music business, see WP:Music

It is important to establish notability early. Ideally it is stated in the lead, and supported with references either in the lead or in the first subsequent paragraph. I see you have included links. I didn't check them all, but I checked the first few and didn't see any that would qualify as reliable sources.

You said "Much of the information - for instance about Torben Thoger's childhood and his interest in spirituality, I have from himself, since I have interviewed him to get it all directly from the main source. How do I put that information in the article?" Unfortunately, the short answer is, you cannot. While this answer surprises some people, as first-hand evidence would seem to be the best, it is first-hand to you, and not independently verifiable. Independent verification is a critical aspects of this encyclopedia. Sorry. (If you can arrange for a reputable newspaper to interview you and publish the results, that would be acceptable.)

I see that Thoger has been covered by a newspaper, but I don't believe a scan of a headline will qualify as a verifiable source. Perhaps someone else will weigh in if it is acceptable. It would be much better to identify the date of the publication, so it could be verified.

Finally, this is the second time today I've seen that external link that goes nowhere. Not sure where you got it, but it should be removed.--SPhilbrick T 22:43, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I now understand why the external link is there—it is a placeholder created by the Article Wizard so you can replace it with your external links if you need any. If you don't plan to have any, just remove that section.--SPhilbrick T 22:48, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Dixon Hughes

Here is a link to my article. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DHMKTG/Dixon_Hughes

Help/Feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.

DHMKTG (talk) 21:09, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment it reads like a marketing blurb for the firm and that's in contravention of WP:Spam, so it will have to be rewritten from a more neutral point of view. Also your user name is probably in violation of the user name policy. – ukexpat (talk) 21:39, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have revised my article and would love additional feedback from the wiki community. Thanks! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DHMKTG/Dixon_Hughes DHMKTG (talk) 18:43, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK first point, please log in and edit under your new username, User:AGHarrison. If you continue to edit under your old name, it will be blocked. The article is in your new userspace at User:AGHarrison/Dixon Hughes. I will moved the draft to the mainspace at Dixon Hughes. – ukexpat (talk) 19:09, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

B-Hoody

B-Hoody (LilKray4556 (talk) 00:12, 10 November 2009 (UTC)) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-Hoody Hello,my name is A.J. Awatt and I created a wikipage for "B-Hoody" and I would like to get some feedback on what I should change on it. Please and thank you![reply]

At present, there are no references in the article, and nothing to indicate why this person is notable. You'll also want to look at WP:BAND. For help adding references, see Wikipedia:Citing sources and Wikipedia:Footnotes--SPhilbrick T 18:34, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

B-Hoody has been speedily deleted as not indicating the importance or significance of the subject. – ukexpat (talk) 21:46, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Article name: XAND

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Levi999/Xand —Preceding unsigned comment added by Levi999 (talk • contribs) 06:30, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hello,

I have started a user subpage draft of an article on XAND, a new disease entity. This is a distinct subset of the general galaxy of patients suffering from what is known as "chronic fatique syndrome", a controversial medical topic.

My concern is the notability test of this topic, since there is an existing article on the proposed causative agent,a retrovirus named XMRV. There is also some mention of XMRV on a subpage of the chronic fatigue article.

I would like to gather some thoughts on this prospective article before investing significant time in drafting it. Thanks for your help.Levi999 (talk) 06:23, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

NetDocuments

I created an entry for NetDocuments a few weeks ago. The article still needs to be reviewed and was hoping to get some feedback on it. I have included a number of relevant links and sources to make the article credible.

Thanks,

Dannymjohnson —Preceding unsigned comment added by Dannymjohnson (talk • contribs) 17:20, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish why this company is notable. While you have some references , most are PR releases or company produced. If you have third party coverage in WP:RS, I missed it. Please take a look at Wikipedia:Citing sources and Wikipedia:Footnotes to improve the referencing. (But don't waste time on cleaning up references is you cannot satisfy the Notability requirement.)--SPhilbrick T 18:44, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

NAFTA & The 100 Mile Diet: Economic Implications

We created this article for a class project and we would appreciate your feedback in order to complete our project. Thanks. TianaSammy (talk) 19:09, 10 November 2009 (UTC)TianaSammy,November 10th, 2009[reply]

I think the use of Wikipedia as a class assignment is a good idea.

I hope, whether this article survives or not, it has been a learning experience, and you will continue to contribute to Wikipedia in other ways.

First, the nitpicks:

The external link ~~is bad. Not sure what you intended.~~was intended as a sample, replace it if you need one, or remove it.
Good to see referencing, but the referencing style should be improved. Check out WP:Footnotes. If that's confusing, say so, and I'll fix one as an example.

Now, a bit more editorial commentary:

The lead is confusing. It starts out talking about a diet, then jumps to NAFTA, without a clear transition. I wonder if you should talk about NAFTA first - not sure, I just had trouble following the point.
I'm concerned about WP:OR. The diet is notable, the agreement is notable, and it is interesting to discuss the tension between the two, but this smacks of original thought. Normally, original thought is a good thing, not a bad thing, and you are to be commended for that aspect. However, an encyclopedia isn't a place for original thought, it's a place to document the original thoughts of others (crudely, and simplistically stated). You need to show that others have discussed the tension between the globalization concepts of NAFTA and the localization concepts of the diet. (I didn't read every one of your footnotes - if some do make the point, great, but I didn't see it in the article.)

Back to nitpicks: This sentence "Even though Canada could not agree, there was conflict which resulted in a dispute settlement in 1995 ending in Canada’s favor" needs work. Canada couldn't agree to what? (Yes, the answer is in the citation, though not well-written there, but a citation is for support, not explanation.)--SPhilbrick T 21:00, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

UN Slavery Memorial

Algarcia85 (talk) 21:29, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft article is at User:Algarcia85/UN Slavery Memorial. – ukexpat (talk) 21:35, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment

Hi...

My article name is: User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment . User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment

I wanted to profile one of my favorite concert promo companies by describing the business based on information that I know firsthand and based on information from their website. Since this is my first post, I'm not sure if I did everything right. Please review this SIMPLE page and let me know if it is ready to publish... Thanks!

...Alex Loucas

Grizzleemusic (talk) 00:11, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Patient Safety and Quality Improvement Act

This is my first attempt at starting a new page. Please be gentle! Right now it's sitting in my user space in a sandbox.

It probably would take a while to complete this page. Is it appropriate to put it into wikipedia space before it is completed?

Rsjaffe (talk) 03:58, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Moved into Wikipedia space

Rsjaffe (talk) 15:40, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is a draft for an improvement of an existing article: Hans Scherfig (danish author)

User:Harlekin96/sandbox

What I have done is trying to merge a longer danish article dk:Hans Scherfig with the existing english one about the same subject matter Hans Scherfig.

Simultaneously with translating the danish article I have tried to make the disposition of the resulting combined article more clear using telling sub sections. Harlekin96 (talk) 09:40, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Female sexual arousal and orgasm

I have written a draft article with the above title.

I would like to find out whether it would be possible to have it published as a standalone article on Wikipedia.

Kind regards, Jane

Nosper (talk) 10:13, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there. Wikipedia is happy to have you writing drafts, but unfortunately articles encompassing this subject already exist in various forms. Check the orgasm and sexual arousal pages. --tennis man 14:42, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

sphaeranthus indicus

This is my first article, so please help! Thanks, Sanjaylondon (talk) 14:51, 11 November 2009 (UTC)sanjaylondon[reply]

Draft article is at User:Sanjaylondon/sphaeranthus indicus. – ukexpat (talk) 18:02, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Junzo Sakakura

I've written an article on this Japanese Modernist Architect who apprenticed with the French Modernist, Le Corbusier. Two (of a total of three) other Japanese architects who apprenticed with Corbusier: Kunio Maekawa and Takamasa Yoshizaka are included elsewhere in Wikipedia. Also he is linked to in the article on Japanese Architecture.

I would be grateful for any feedback you may have on the article.

Kenchikuben (talk) 14:53, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work! I have reviewed and made some minor formatting changes. – ukexpat (talk) 18:09, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Project Talent

Greetings editors. I am requesting feedback on my recent submission Project Talent. Currently, it is tagged as "new unreviewed article."

Project Talent is listed under the category Educational Research. It was the largest survey on the aptitudes and abilities of U.S. high-schoolers ever undertaken, with multiple follow-up studies, and is still widely cited in education literature today. Therefore, I believe the article meets the notability standard, and it is heavily referenced. However, I am new to Wikipedia editing and would appreciate some general input. As a researcher, I have several topics that I would like to add to Wikipedia (all of which I believe meet the standards) but I feel I should solicit input on my first effort before blazing ahead. Any and all comments welcome and most of all someone to do the first review and hopefully get rid of the "new unreviewed" tag. Thanks so much!

MuddsMistake (talk) 17:24, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks fine to me. I have removed the unreviewed tag. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:44, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Solid PDF Tools

I'd welcome any feedback on the article User:HikeBandit/Solid PDF Tools. This is my first full article for Wikipedia, so pointers would be appreciated. HikeBandit (talk) 21:54, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It needs a lot more work on notability -- how is this particular utility notable and do reliable sources exist to support notability? The existing reference is basically a self-reference and insufficient. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 22:06, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Shakori

Shakori Shakori

I removed the redirect from the Shakori Festival that was on the page, added a ref to that page, added all the info for the Shakori Indian tribe, referenced the book the info came from(Public Domain)

I would like to know if this page is ok or do I need to do something else.

Big Roger (talk) 23:30, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Firman R. Grubb

I am requesting a review of my first article, mainly because I have used a newspaper article as the main content. I couldn't write the bio any better, so why even try? I found the article at the newspaper's web site some years ago, but don't know if it is still there.

LynnSGrubb (talk) 23:53, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"why even try?" That's called a copyright violation, and is not permitted here. --Orange Mike | Talk 00:33, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Larry Coon

Hello Wiki editors, I have created an article about Larry Coon, an expert regarding the NBA Salary Cap. I'm not experienced in creating Wiki articles, but was surprised Mr. Coon did not have an entry in Wikipedia. So I am asking if there are any NBA fans, writers or bloggers that are more experienced on Wikipedia that could add to the article. Thanks. DD2K (talk) 00:34, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is the right place for general advice, and it looks like he deserves an article. You might post on the talk page of the WikiProject Basketball. On the plus side, that's where you are more apt to find editors with specific interest and knowledge. On the negative side, that project isn't as active as some.--SPhilbrick T 13:07, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Sphilbrick, your response is appreciated. I've made requests at both the talk page of the WikiProject Basketball and the Wiki NBA project. Thanks again. DD2K (talk) 14:29, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't realize we had an NBA Project, so we both learned something. Good luck with the article.--SPhilbrick T 20:48, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Arthur Fleischmann Wiki page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Christianfurr/Arthur_Fleischmann

Please can you check this draft then if you deem suitable, publish —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 11:33, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:39, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

How about

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/1731799.stm http://bratislavahotels.travelslovakia.sk/sites/museum-of-arthur-fleischmann-bratislava

http://www.fleischmann.org.uk/

http://www.artandarchitecture.org.uk/stories/fleischmann_fleischmann.html

http://catalogue.nla.gov.au/Record/1870010

? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 11:43, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You probably have enough there to establish notability. But now I see that the article is copied almost word for word from the biography at http://www.fleischmann.org.uk/frbiog.html. This is a copyright violation and is not allowed on Wikipedia. You need to re-write the biography in your own words. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:51, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK. Can somebody please do this for me as I simply havent the time. I am sure the Foundation wouldt mind the copy being verbatim as I have credited them at the end of the article (with thanks to.) This is providing info about the artist that is globally useful so I cant see the foundation objecting. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 13:18, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, crediting the copyright holder is not sufficient, as Wikipedia has to protect itself against potential legal action. There is a process you can go through to request the copyright holder to release their work under the same license as the rest of Wikipedia - see Wikipedia:Requesting copyright permission - but it is not a simple process, and there is no guarantee that permission will be given. I suggest you blank the draft article page until you can either get the appropriate permission or have time to rewrite the biography in your own words. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:59, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have tagged the draft for speedy deletion as a copyvio - this is not permitted even in userspace. – ukexpat (talk) 16:58, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Amalka Supercomputing facility

Hello,

since User:Davidpodhola/Amalka_Supercomputing_facility is 10 years old now and is the biggest supercomputer in the Czech Republic computing also for NASA, I think it should be covered here as well. Please have a look at the article and give me your feedback.

Thanks,

Davidpodhola (talk) 14:31, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article looks fine to me. I think it is ready to be moved into main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:52, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

BringIt.com

BringIt.com BringIt is a video gaming website that provides “gamers” the opportunity to connect over the internet and play one on one or multi-player tournaments against each other for money. The site was launched in November 2008 by Woodrow Levin.

In addition to the gaming provided, the website allows users to blog, create profiles and write reviews in the forums. BringIt includes the following platforms: XBOX 360, PS2, PS3 and Wii. The main page also provides gamers with a list of the games the website supports.

BringIt’s main page allows auto matches or allows gamers to select an opponent who is looking to play a specific game for the same dollar amount. Players identify each other by their “gaming tag”, an online ID, and utilize their console’s online multiplayer platform or the built in multiplayer function of the game to play each other. When the game is completed, both players report the outcome to the website, or in the alternative result, emails are automatically reported from the game’s End of Game Email Reporting System. Winning players then have their account credited.

Founder/Chief Executive Officer Woodrow H. Levin founded InStadium and Riverbank Capital Management. Woodrow has been featured in Media Life Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and has been a guest speaker at the University Of Wisconsin School Of Business. Woodrow received his B.A. in Business from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and his Juris Doctor from the Chicago-Kent School of Law. Woodrow is active in community and charitable organizations including JUF, Lynn Sage Breast Cancer Foundation and most recently was on the executive committee of The Chicago Green Tie Ball.

How BringIt Works All new gaming consoles and many older consoles are able to connect to the internet for multiplayer online game play. Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo game consoles all have built in software which allows owners to play online against other gamers anywhere in the world. Each game will then be played through the existing technology of the console or game maker.

Our Mission BringIt is an online community where gamers across the globe can play video games for real money. BringIt is a community of American and International gamers with the ability to play against each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week for real money.

Legal Aspects BringIt is not in any violation of any United States or International anti-gambling laws currently in place. The reasoning behind this conclusion is that playing video games online are not games of chance; rather they are games of skill. Games of skill are not in violation of the Internet Gambling Regulation and Enforcement Act of 2006. Users are required to be at least 18 years of age. Certain US State laws prohibit skill based game play and these residents may not compete in BringIt’s skill based video game tournaments.

Games which may be played through BringIt’s website for real money include:

Burnout Paradise Call of Duty 4 Call of Duty World at War COD4 Dead or Alive 4 Fifa 2009 Fight Night Round 3,4 Forza 2 Gears of War 2 Guitar Hero World Tour Halo 4 Halo Wars Madden NFL 2010 Mario Kart MLB: The Show 2009 MLB 2K9 NBA 2K9 NBA Live 2009 NCAA Football 2010 NHL 2009 Rainbow Six Vegas 2 Resistance 2 Rock Band 2 Socom: Confrontation Street Fighter IV Super Smash Bros Brawl The King of Fighters 12 Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2010 UEFA Euro UFC Undisputed 2009 Unreal Tournament 3 XBOX Live Arcade

References:

betfromanywhere.com- http://www.betfromanywhere.com/blog/tag/bringit/ BlogWogo.com- http://www.blogowogo.com/blog_article.php?aid=1815823&t=5 Bungie.org- http://nikon.bungie.org/news.html?item=24563 centredaily.com- http://www.centredaily.com/business/technology/story/977193.html Cnet.com- http://news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10105324-2.html CosmosGaming.com- http://www.cosmosgaming.com/news.php?id=21113730&tablespec=november2008 CrunchGear.com- http://www.crunchgear.com/2008/11/21/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouth-is/ Edge- http://www.edge-online.com/blogs/bring-it-on ESPN- http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3725594 Fast Company- http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/sherri-l-smith/high-wire/gimmick-or-genius Financialcontent.com- http://studio.financialcontent.com/Engine?Account=wspa&GUID=7237763&Page=Media Forbes.com http://www.forbes.com/businesswire/feeds/businesswire/2008/11/21/businesswire116880802.html Fox Business- http://www.foxbusiness.com/search-results/m/25620399/betting-on-video-games.htm#q=bringit Gabbr.com- http://www.gabbr.com/tracker/bringit GameDaily.com- http://www.gamedaily.com/articles/news/bringit-invites-you-to-earn-money-playing-video-games/?biz=1 GamerBlips.com- http://gamerblips.dailyradar.com/story/bringit_challenge_play_earn GoNintendo.com- http://gonintendo.com/?p=63880 http://games.venturebeat.com/2009/07/03/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouths-are JSOnline.com- http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/entertainment/34894584.html Kiwibox.com- http://www.kiwibox.com/article/38960 Kombo.com- http://ps3.kombo.com/article.php?artid=8863 Kotaku.com- http://kotaku.com/5096015/cocky--cash+rich-bringit-will-allow-it-to-be-brung MacroWorldInvestor.com- http://www.macroworldinvestor.com/m/m.w?lp=GetStory&id=331413641

MarketWatch.com- http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/BringIt-Delivers-Next-Generation-Competitive/story.aspx?guid={654909E4-2A1F-4F45-9D3C-0EA58D95F393} Maxconsole.com- http://www.maxconsole.net/?mode=news&newsid=33978 MTV- http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/2008/12/03/bringit-aims-to-get-wii-players-wagering-on-online-games/ Official XBOX Magazine- http://www.bringit.com/media/static/press/OXM_2009_05.pdf O-Zonegames.com- http://ozonegames.com/blogs/daily_video_game_news/archive/2008/11/20/bringit-invites-you-to-earn-money-playing-video-games.aspx Playboy- http://www.playboy.com/articles/gamer-next-door-bringit/index.html SmartBrief.com- http://www.smartbrief.com/news/aaaa/industryBW-detail.jsp?id=68916F38-3BC3-444B-8C86-7D5F63AEEE12 Teamxbox.com- http://news.teamxbox.com/xbox/18227/I-Bet-You-100-You-Cant-Kill-Me-n00b/ TerrificShit.com- http://www.terrificshit.com/2008/11/21/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouth-is/ USAToday.com- http://content.usatoday.com/topics/article/Peter+Moore/05gGgKN9sf72G/1 Venture Beat- http://games.venturebeat.com/2009/07/03/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouths-are/ WorthPlaying.com- http://www.worthplaying.com/article.php?sid=57730 Yahoo.com- http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/081121/20081121005099.html?.v=1 Yahoo.com- http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/play-money-five-ways-to-make-a-living-playing-games/1330627

Vertz22 (talk) 17:41, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is far too spammy to form the basis for an article and for the same reason I have tagged the draft your userpage for deletion too. Please take a look at WP:SPAM, WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 19:39, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank You

Joker Blogs

I would like feedback/review of a new article titled: Joker Blogs. Here is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_Blogs or Joker Blogs. I would appreciate someone's help; this is my first Wikipedia article.

Thanks!

Hpsparrow (talk) 00:28, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think you need to add more visuals. Maybe a photo table will make it look more official..JardenBooks (talk) 01:04, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your input. I would like to add, however, that the article seems to have been deleted or has otherwise been move/disappeared. I don't know how to look into that and see what has happened, so could a more experienced Wikipedia user please find out what has happened? If it has been deleted, I would very much like to know the reason why, but if it has been moved...where could it have been moved to? Thank you, Hpsparrow (talk) 21:36, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Joker Blogs was deleted under criterion A7 of the speedily deletion criteria as it was an [a]rticle about a web site, blog, web forum, webcomic, podcast, browser game, or similar web content, which does not indicate the importance or significance of the subject.

Young Legend(King of Mississippi)

Young Legend(King of Mississippi) Web master for Grand Hustle/Steeldreams Ent new artist Young Legend.. Just want some feedback and helpJardenBooks (talk) 00:29, 13 November 2009 (UTC)...[reply]

Please note that according to the userpage of the account User:JardenBooks, Jarden Books is a company which is being paid to publicize Yourng Legend and other musicians by creating Wikipedia advertisements about them. The COI is blatant; the role account has been blocked as a spamusername. --Orange Mike | Talk 13:39, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Young Legend is a growing and budding artist. I think this article may be a bit premature, as people outside of the south(i.e. LA-the Carolinas) may not have heard of him. Myself being from Alabama have seen him perform on several occasions. So I can give the thumbs up. This is a great article on him although. Very in depth and the sources seem to be accurate. Marty0615 (talk) 01:01, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Article now at User:Marty0615/Young Legend. It needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Midas Kapiti

Midas Kapiti A chronology of the leading banking packages, which since 1972 has been the standard software package for nearly all of the world's banks.

David Shaw Midas 13th November, 2009 DavidShawMidas (talk) 14:33, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Some suggestions for improving your draft article at User:DavidShawMidas/Midas Kapiti:

Format - the formatting is very poor. Read our manual of style, and look at how other Wikipedia articles are formatted.
Style - reads like a marketing brochure. You need to remove marketing hype such as "the world's most successful banking system", "more world-wide customers, more awards, and more capability than any other" and "the world leader in banking packages". Remember that you are writing an encylopedia article, not a sales brochure.
Content - very dull. You give a detailed history of the sofwtare package up to 1994, then nothing for the last 15 years. The reader is left with little or no idea of what the software does.
Sources - you need to provide sources for the dates and events that you give in the artcie, and references to third-party sources to show that this software package is notable.
Conflict of interest - if you are the "David Shaw" referenced in the article, then you may have a conflict of interest which means you are not a suitable author for this article. Read our conflict of interest guideline. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:26, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Quick question on new articles...

I have four articles that I would like posted to Wiki. Are there folks or services that will write my content so that it is accepted to Wiki? For hire?

My conundrum is:

The founder of our company is also the chief scientist of a revolutionary NEW lighting technology -- plain and simple... it IS revolutionary...

I want to add the founder's bio and how it relates to the technology, the first product, the founding company and the "promotional sales/marketing" company...

How do I do that without getting canned for advertising/promotion? I've had two marketing firms read my articles and they say they are "NOT" promotional, but have gotten slammed on WIKI for uploading them.

Do you know of any folks that re-write for hire?

Please respond.

Jereodom (talk) 17:26, 13 November 2009 (UTC)Jere 11/13/2009 11:20 AM CST[reply]

Writing an article to promote the interests of your employer is a breach of our conflict of interest guidelines. If you hire someone to write such an article, then they in turn would be in breach of the conflict of interest gudelines. The best approach is to request an independent Wikipedia editor to write an article - see Wikipedia:Requested articles for how to do this. If there is insufficient information in the public domain for an independent editor to write an article, then the subject is almost certainly not suitable for Wikipedia. Gandalf61 (talk) 17:37, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Gandalf61 - Thank you for your response. I have posted in two categories on the Request Article pages. I hope to receive some feedback, and I sure hope I posted it correctly. Wiki can be very confusing for someone who uses it as a resource but doesn't get to contribute very often. I appreciate your taking the time to respond. Wish me luck! Btw, the guy I refer to is a fairly young entrepreneur with a genius brain, so information on him will not be easy to find. I provided a couple of links to websites that give his brief bio and hopefully that will help an editor get started. Thanks again! Jereodom (talk) 18:21, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If "information on him will not be easy to find" then he is unlikely to be notable as that term is defined for Wikipedia purposes, see WP:BIO and WP:RS. Online bios etc are not sufficient, we need "significant coverage in reliable sources". – ukexpat (talk) 18:38, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the input, Ukexpat. Let me clarify... he CAN be found on the Internet, news publications, local organization publications (as a Innovator of the Year Award nominee) with very little net searching, but I did include two links to websites that provide a brief bio and links to other news articles, that may help someone who would like to help write the articles. Make sense? Jereodom (talk) 19:20, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia

Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia William Groves Carson (talk) 18:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)William Groves Carson November 13, 2009William Groves Carson (talk) 18:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There doesn't seem to be an article by that name. What is your question? --Orange Mike | Talk 19:07, 13 November 2009 (UTC)\[reply]

Article draft at User:William Groves Carson/Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia. – ukexpat (talk) 19:15, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment it does not read like an encyclopedic article, but more like a travel journal or flowery magazine article. So the tone will need some work. Please also see WP:FOOTNOTES and WP:CITE for reference citing. – ukexpat (talk) 19:20, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Havis1/International Montessori Society

I appreciate comments on this page before entering on its own.Havis1 (talk) 01:00, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article looks fine, and I think it is ready to be moved to main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:50, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Climate Change In Alberta

Hello,

I am in need of some feedback or comments about an article I have currently posted. Climate Change In Alberta All comments are appreciated. Thanks Farmgirl29 (talk) 18:26, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry in advance for being negative, but I don't see much that can be salvaged.

Most importantly, there are existing major articles on climate change and global warming. While there may be value in discussing the special impact on a region, a Canadian province is quite a small region, so it would take a rather strong claim to justify an article on the province.

The article as written has one paragraph purportedly on the subject, while the remainder of the article is a laundry list of activities that are not specific to Alberta, and aren't even specific to climate change. It is more like a list of good agricultural stewardship practices than climate change issues.

Finally, the one paragraph addressing the title has problems. Climate is long-term, while weather is short-term. The precise dividing line can be argued, but if the temperatures and precipitation patterns are truly a manifestation of climate change rather than weather, you'll need solid support for the claim. Look at your second reference: it states "Recurring droughts are a part of Alberta’s climate". In other words, your reliable sources are at variance with the point of the article. Some other references, such as your third and fourth references, are merely anecdotal support for drought, rather than long-term climate change. I don't doubt for a second that there has been climate change, but I've checked over half your references and haven't found one that supports the claim.

If you are intent on writing about climate change in Alberta, I suggest that you join in the discussion of the talk pages of Regional effects of global warming to get consensus on how to (or whether to) add material specifically relating to Alberta.--SPhilbrick T 02:10, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

What is Competency-Based Education?

There is no part of this article that was copied from another published article: we wrote this article as a Word document and copied it into Wikipedia and I then posted it so I'd like to know how to have that notice of possible copyright violation notation removed and also how to delete the warning that it was edited by someone else because I edited it. Please advise how these 2 things can be done becaue I've read every single one of the above bullets but am still having trouble. Thank you.

The message about copyright has been removed. The other issues noted do remain. For example, Wikipedia has a variety of acceptable reference styles, but the one you chose is not one of them. Please see Cite for assistance, although it would be better to address the tone and style issues first. Please see LAYOUT for some guidance. Fixing references is easy, making the style consistent with an encyclopedia article is a bit more work.--SPhilbrick T 02:20, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please read your first heading and opening two sentences, and compare to the second paragraph of this paper

Competency-based education

What is Competency Based Education?

The major premise of competency based education (CBE) is that diplomas and credentials should be awarded on the basis of demonstrated performance on competency and on results, rather than on accumulated or completed credits. In fact, CBE is often tied directly to the occupational requirements of working professionals. CBE presents adult learners with opportunities to solve the real-world problems of managers, teachers, computer programmers, nurses, engineers and others.

Comparing Institutional Approaches to Competency-Based Distance Education

What is competency-based education? Its major premise is that diplomas and credentials should be awarded on the basis of demonstrated student performance – on outcomes and results – rather than on the accumulation of credits, the number of successful semesters completed (seat-time), and adherence to campus residency requirements. CBE is often tied directly to the occupational requirements of working professionals, requiring degree candidates to solve real-world problems of nurses, teachers, computer scientists, and business managers.

Can you explain?--SPhilbrick T 02:37, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

mako yoshikawa

Greetings,

This is my first page and I'm somewhat intimidated by all of the formatting elements. Here is the article in my userspace, not yet posted because I couldn't figure out how to list it in the noncontested area.

robsabal/Mako Yoshikawa or maybe it is just Mako Yoshikawa

I could add additional links or at least the citations for newspaper reviews. I could also add the citations for her scholarly publications but it doesn't seem like other authors tend to do this.

Thank you for your help.

Robsabal (talk) 04:09, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's here: User:Robsabal/Mako Yoshikawa--SPhilbrick T 15:56, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Good start. I cleaned up some of your references.

It looks like she should pass the Notability hurdle, but you haven't included any citations for Reliable Sources. I think her book(s) have been reviewed by the Washington Post and other places - can you include those?

Also, there is a reference to "published scholarly essays on incest in American literature". Citing the publication and date would be very helpful.--SPhilbrick T 16:16, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The "move" button will appear after you do 4 more edits. If you add a couple reliable sources, and still haven't reached ten edits, let me know and I'll move it for you, otherwise, you can move it yourself.--SPhilbrick T 17:51, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you again for your help. I've added the Washington Post citation and the list of articles on race and incest. I wonder if you can move this page for me as I still don't see a move tab. I look forward to making additional contributions.

Robsabal (talk) 05:37, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I moved it for you. Now at Mako Yoshikawa. Note that it takes a few hours for it to become indexed, so it won’t show up in a search right away.SPhilbrick T 16:45, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wendell Brown

This article (on Wendell Brown) is my first for Wikipedia, and I have enjoyed the journey. Thanks for all the great support and guidelines! How do I get someone to review so I can further improve the article and remove the "unreviewed" banner? Also, what do I need to do to make sure, when "Wendell Brown" is googled, that this article comes up? Thanks! Carterkirk (talk) 04:36, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have removed the unreviewed tag. Wikipedia has no control over Google page rankings. The article needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:46, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

My usual comment when Google page rankings come up: we are here to create an encyclopedia, not engage in a Google page rankings contest. – ukexpat (talk) 17:10, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Southern 80

Hi,

This is my first article User:Dtbell91/Southern 80. I hope it meets Wikipedia's high standards. I created the article because I decided I'd like to give back to the community which has helped me so much in times of difficulty ;) Thanks, dtbell91

Dtbell91 (talk) 10:36, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article is a good start, but it needs to include references to third party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:37, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Theodelinda

The picture of the crown in the Theodelinda article is an object in the museum of the Monza duomo, but is not the crown, as the article states it to be. The crown is gold and green, with alternating jewels and rosettes in each row. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Loggoin (talk • contribs) 18:02, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I suggest you post your comment to the talk page of the article, and to the Talk page of the editor who added the image.--SPhilbrick T 19:21, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Mark Rathbone

I have drafted a brief bio of the actor Mark Rathbone an actor in the film Naked in London, in anticipation of the release of the film in Spring 2010 - I hope to post bios of the rest of the cast and crew once I get the hang of Wiki posting!

M —Preceding unsigned comment added by Marksailferret (talk • contribs) 22:50, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft is currently in userspace at User:Marksailferret/Mark Rathbone. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If these people have nothing more notable about them than Rathbone has, articles about them are likely to be deleted pretty rapidly. Please read our guidelines on what constitutes a "notable" actor, etc. --Orange Mike | Talk 19:31, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Stacyv.v/Franklin P. Jones

Dear Editors,

I am trying to create a page about my notable writer Grandfather Franklin P. Jones Franklin P. Jones, User:Stacyv.v/Franklin P. Jones. However, even after reading help pages, I'm a bit flummoxed.

The information about my Grandfather in the world at-large is flawed and confused. His work is being attributed to other people and / or his birth and death dates are often printed incorrectly. Answers.com called out for more information from anyone in-the-know and I've created an Answer there. Is that considered a verifiable source? There is hardcopy information on the east coast (I am west) at my disposal, but not anytime soon.

His work (specifically quotations / quips) is not copyrighted (yet). But will I have to go through extra steps for each and every one to prove it is my right to site them?

I apologize for editing the things I did incorrectly (superscripts). But it seems close to impossible to edit 10 times without stepping on either the author or Wikipedia's toes. Once it is presentable, can you move the article live for me?

I am also not clear on where to put verifying sources. Is that what the Reference section is for?

I'm sorry for all of the question marks, but I am on a mission to clear my Grandfather's name, and do it well, once and for all. I would greatly appreciate any assistance you can offer.

Thanks so much, Stacyv.v (talk) 01:01, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Being on a mission to clear my Grandfather's name puts you in a huge conflict of interest and will make it very difficult for you to write an article which meets our neutrality requirements. At the moment the draft is not ready to be moved to the mainspace as it has no references. References do not necessarily have to be online, but they must be clear enough to be verifiable. Note that because of your COI, the article will receive in depth scrutiny, so your references will have to be pretty good. – ukexpat (talk) 17:26, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Curtis Grubb

Please review my article on Curtis Grubb. He was my ancestor and an important figure in Pennsylvania history. Please don't delete it, it's my first and was a lot of work! LynnSGrubb (talk) 15:56, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft is at User:LynnSGrubb/Curtis Grubb. – ukexpat (talk) 17:19, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Interesting article. A few points of style:

In the first paragraph, try to be a little less self-referential. "It is difficult to discuss the brothers individually..." draws attention to the author, which IMO detracts from encyclopedic style. Just say that Curtis' affairs were closely entangled with Peter, Jr.'s and leave it at that.
In "Personal Life," "Fortunately, Curtis Jr.,...died..." should probably be qualified as "Fortunately for historians" or "Fortunately for genealogists"; it's a little jarring.

That said, I think it's basically OK to move to article space. I'd be interested in seeing more articles on the Grubb ironmasters of the Susquehanna region; I have a picture of some abandoned abutments of their iron railroad at Shenk's Ferry, and I could probably get pictures of Chickies #2 and maybe even St Charles Furnace at some point. Choess (talk) 05:57, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review of my Curtis Grubb article; I have made the changes suggested and will move it to article space (if I can figure out how!). I don't know anything about the Susquehanna Grubbs, but I have asked our "Grubb expert" for input. Would I continue to contact you here? LynnSGrubb (talk) 02:00, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sky Songs

Hi, It's my first time writing an article in Wikipedia and I would welcome feedback on it before I try and push live in a few days.

Article is Sky Songs and because I am personally and profesionally interested in this new website and know quite a bit about it I was keen to use this subject as my first article.

I think I have used the correct tone and references and appreciate any feedback before I go ahead and try my hand at other subjects.

Adamhodge2 (talk) 16:41, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft is at User:Adamhodge2/sky songs. – ukexpat (talk) 17:16, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Given your obvious severe conflict of interest here, I would advise you not to work on this any more. --Orange Mike | Talk 19:36, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Transpo Industries, Inc

Hi, I've started writing an article about a company, and want to make sure I'm on the right path, and won't be deleted. I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks.

User:Hleetranspo/Transpo Industries, Inc.

Hleetranspo (talk) 18:05, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment the article does not address, with references, why this company is notable per WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 18:09, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In addition, if you are H. Lee of Transpo Industries, you should also read WP:COISPhilbrick T 18:35, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:AngelSG/Pretty Little Flower

I have created the page User:AngelSG/Pretty Little Flower regarding a local grind core band. Please review, as I understand that is necessary before the page can be officially available. I have put in references and followed all help guidance available. AngelSG (talk) 21:22, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's not clear from the draft whether the band meets the notability tests set out at WP:BAND. If you think it does, please edit the article accordingly, with inline references. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've added the inline references. I do think it meets the notability tests. I changed the references I originally had only at the bottom to be inline references. AngelSG (talk) 06:30, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Emiliephelps/The_Birth_of_Coffee

Hi! I've created a draft on my user subpage called "The Birth of Coffee", and I'd love some feedback/comments! User:Emiliephelps/The_Birth_of_Coffee Emiliephelps (talk) 22:31, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's ready for the mainspace so I will move it for you, to The Birth of Coffee. I will review for formatting etc. – ukexpat (talk) 17:32, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done – ukexpat (talk) 17:37, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Protection of Concrete

The article relates to the protection of exposed reinforced concrete.

--Wollastonite (talk) 00:01, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft article is at User:Wollastonite/Protection of Concrete. – ukexpat (talk) 18:48, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

article name Morgan Mandel

I'm looking for approval or advice on improving an article about mystery writer Morgan Mandel.

Morgan Mandel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgan_Mandel

Hope I'm doing this right.

Thanks,

Organmountains (talk) 05:06, 17 November 2009 (UTC)Bob Sanchez 11/16/09[reply]

I don't think the article is ready for the mainspace yet so I have moved it to your userspace at User:Organmountains/Morgan Mandel so you can continue to work on it. The main problems are notability and sources. The draft does not explain why the subject is notable per WP:BIO, nor does it have reliable sources per WP:RS - you cannot use other Wikipedia articles as references, and self-published sources such as personal websites and blogs are not reliable. So please read the above links, and also WP:YFA, WP:CITE and other Wikipedia articles about writers so you can see what we need. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 17:49, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Global Intelligence Alliance

~~Hi - This is my first Wiki article. I would appreciate any comments or feedback particularly on any area that I can improve on. The article is titled Global Intelligence Alliance~~

~~Thanks! (RW15 (talk) 06:16, 17 November 2009 (UTC))~~[reply]

Reposting - Global Intelligence Alliance

Hi - Please ignore my question above. This is the correct draft of my first Wiki article User:RW15/Global Intelligence Alliance. Any feedback or comments are welcomed especially on areas where I can improve on.

Thanks! (RW15 (talk) 06:41, 17 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

At the moment the article reads, IMHO, like a promotional piece and does not address why the subject is notable per the guidance at WP:CORP. So the tone will need to be revised and you will need some more reliable sources to support claims of notability - note that company press releases on sites like PRWeb are self-published sources and not reliable as we use that term on Wikipedia. – ukexpat (talk) 17:55, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ordination of women in the United Methodist Church in the 19th century

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Earthmamaursa/Ordination_of_United_Methodist_Women

(Earthmamaursa (talk) 07:44, 17 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

Before I look at this in depth, I am intrigued by the comment From: Donna Sperry's archives, DS360, Nov. 09. Has the text been copied from another source? If so you will have to follow Wikipedia procedures to provide evidence that you have permission to re-use the text. – ukexpat (talk) 18:01, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Websystems page

Hello, I want to make sure this page is ready to be offically puslished. Can you tell me if it's ok?

Websystems User:Catalepsky/Websystems

Thank you!

Catalepsky (talk) 17:36, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The draft does not explain adequately why the subject is notable per WP:CORP, nor does it cite reliable sources per WP:RS. Self-published sources such as the company's website are not reliable. It's also rather spammy in tone. So please read the above links, and also WP:YFA. – ukexpat (talk) 18:07, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Movement Medicine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Suseli/Movement_Medicine

Hello, I would like to request feedback on my draft/user entry on Movement MEdicine, a spin off of Gabrielle Roth's 5rhythms. I tried this a few times last year, but as not much was published then, it got deleted. I would like to avoid that, by asking your advice.

It's a free style movement meditation practice, developed by Ya'Acov and Susannah Darling Khan, co-directors of the School of Movement Medicine, which exists since 2007.

I think all the requirements have been met, and I hope this time it will be suitable to go on Wiki, but please let me know how I can improve it.

Best wishes and many thanks, Suseli (talk) 20:02, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Bicycology

I have started an article User:Ianji/Bicycology in my Userspace about a UK organisation called Bicycology which was already mentioned on a couple of Wikipedia pages. There are about 15,000 Google hits for "Bicycology", most of which relate to the UK organisation of that name (though the "word" is occasionally used in other contexts) and I have provided three references which I think are enough to establish notability. The article includes links to four other Wikipedia articles, one of which is currently an orphan. I have not moved it from my Userspace yet because I am a member of Bicycology which means there is a potential conflict of interest. On the other hand, Bicycology is entirely non-commercial and it is just one of many organisations I am involved with. I believe I have succeeded in maintaining a neutral point of view and I think it is a useful article. Should I go ahead and move it so others can start building on it? And if so then should I mark it as a stub?

Ianji (talk) 20:25, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HCL_Career_Development_Centre_(HCL_CDC)

HCL Career Development Centre

Request you to kindly review the article.

Sanjaytiwary (talk) 14:20, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article currently reads like an advertisement, not like an encyclopedia article; indeed, most of it seems to be copied from the HCL CDC web site, which is probably a copyright violation. You need to rewrite the article in your own words, removing phrases like "legacy of excellence", "deep expertise" and "fastest growing". In addition, the article needs to provide references to third party sources to show that this company is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:08, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article has been speedily deleted as too promotional. Please read WP:YFA, WP:SPAM and WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 15:36, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Melontown Gets a New Mayor

—Preceding unsigned comment added by Bbgun777 (talk • contribs) 17:52, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article is here User:Bbgun777/Melontown Gets a New Mayor

I looked quickly, but I see no evidence of Notability.--SPhilbrick T 20:48, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I know that citing booksellers (such as Amazon) is discouraged, although I am struggling unsuccessfully to find the policy. The external references aren't acceptable either, which, unfortunately, leave you with zero references.--SPhilbrick T 20:59, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Lung Flute

I just ran across an article about this thing, and thought it would make a good first new article for me. I realize that it's just a stub at the moment, but wanted to see if I was on the right track.

Here's the article: User:Mark_Shaw/Lung_Flute

Thanks for any feedback! Mark Shaw (talk) 22:11, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think it works as a stub. Do you need help moving it to Lung flute? I have "coloned" out the categories while it is still in userspace so that it does not show up in the category listings. – ukexpat (talk) 20:25, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think I just create a new article of that name by clicking on the redlink, then copy-and-pasting my article text into the new one, right? Is there anything else I need to do? Mark Shaw (talk) 20:32, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well, strictly speaking as the draft has been edited by more than one person (you and I), it should be moved rather than copy/pasted. – ukexpat (talk) 00:23, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, done. How does it look? Did I forget anything? Mark Shaw (talk) 01:22, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, except we use sentence case for titles so I moved it to Lung flute. – ukexpat (talk) 02:10, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Gotcha. Thanks very much for your help! Mark Shaw (talk) 02:13, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Value-Added Wood Products in Ontario

I have written an article on Value-Added Wood Products in Ontario as a class assignment. I require comments on how to improve my article in order to finish my report for the class. Thank you very much.

MajorZombie (talk) 22:55, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Just a general comment to start with, you, your classmates and teacher/instructor should take a look at our advice for school and university projects. – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wikispeedia

International database of speed limit signs. Thanks for looking.

User:Cellurl/wikispeedia (talk) 22:55, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Psychotropica (film)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychotropica_%28film%29

My name is Robert Drake and I am a big supporter of independent film, so I decided to make my first article about an interesting little movie I bought online, Psychotropica. I was wondering if anyone would care to review this article I wrote for me to see if it meets up to general standards. It would be most appreciated.

Kind Regards. --Drakester6969 (talk) 04:41, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I moved it to Psychotropica as there was no need for the disambiguating parentheses. I also took a stab at cleaning it up a little but there is more to do - for example, there are too many red links. The cast list can probably be de-linked - if any of them have Wikipedia articles some time in the future they can be relinked. You should probably post a message on the talk page of the Films Project, they are experts with film-related articles and can probably offer further assistance. – ukexpat (talk) 21:13, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kludgeteer/Kludgets

This is an article on Kludgets, an open sourced widget engine that allows Mac OS X Dashboard widgets to run on Windows and Linux. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Kludgeteer (talk • contribs) 05:07, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject, we need significant coverage. At the moment, only PC Mag qualifies as reliable, but the coverage is not significant. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 19:59, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

3CXPhone

Please review this article on 3CXPhone - a VoIP SIP phone: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Voipguy/3CXPhone Voipguy (talk) 08:14, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject, we need significant coverage. Republication of company press releases and directory type product listings don't count as significant coverage. – ukexpat (talk) 20:06, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

e-psychology

The article can be found at e-psychology.

I would really appreciate any comments and help with cleanup.

Thanks,

DigiHealth (talk) 11:38, 19 November 2009 (UTC) DigiHealth 12:37, 19 November 2009.[reply]

Just a personal opinion, but I really don't like the APA style of inline citations in works intended for public consumption. I think the inline footnotes format is much more readable to non-academic audiences. Dcs002 (talk) 12:15, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Odryfuss/English translations of Hesse's Siddhartha

Requesting feedback on a page I just made: User:Odryfuss/English translations of Hesse's Siddhartha. The point of the page is to present the five existing translations of the novel side by side so that people interested in reading it can decide which one they like best and want to buy. if this page is approved, I plan to link it to the Wiki page on the novel Siddhartha, which has a brief section listing the English translations.

Thanks for your suggestions! Odryfuss (talk) 12:42, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment this is not an encyclopedic article. Even if it could be rewritten in such a way that it critically compared various translations, it would fall foul of our prohibition against original research unless references to reliable sources that discuss issues relating to the various translations could be cited. – ukexpat (talk) 20:19, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There are also concerns with possible copyright violations, if the quotations are too extensive. --Orange Mike | Talk 18:19, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Cameron Knowles Show

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Knowlamp/The_Cameron_Knowles_Show

Knowlamp (talk) 19:05, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I know I am beginning to sound like a broken record with my comments here, but there are issues with notability. I looked at all the external links and none seemed to provide any kind of significant coverage of the kind we need to support notability, and in fact none would really work as external links per the guidance at WP:EL. If you can find reliable sources that discuss the show and its contribution to broadcasting, it might have a chance, but at the moment I am afraid that it's not ready to move to the mainspace. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:52, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I've added some more references. Could you or anyone offer more opinions? Thank you!Knowlamp (talk) 19:03, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Carbon360

Carbon360 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Danielag2009/Carbon360 --Danielag2009 (talk) 19:32, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am hoping to receive some feedback for my first Wikipedia article, it is a company based in NY that has a unique history and I was hoping to start an article about it so more people can expand on it.

Thank You for you help! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Danielag2009 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject or do more than repeat company press releases, we need significant coverage. – ukexpat (talk) 20:12, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Johno Fisher

Hey guys i just put up a page on Johno Fisher, one of my favorite drummers. It still has not been a reviewed apparently. i was wondering if you could help? Thanks Guys

Jason Newton —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nubzy89 (talk • contribs) 21:39, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed and made some layout and formatting changes. I also removed some references that were not really references, so the article needs more reliable sources to support claims of notability. – ukexpat (talk) 00:55, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ok thankyou very much. I have sources of an e-mail interview and i gained alot of information from past interviews from here and there. How should i got about this? thanks again

Jason —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nubzy89 (talk • contribs) 01:49, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Personal e-mails are not reliable sources, but interviews published in third party reliable sources are. If you have links to interviews in online sources (or offline, hard copy sources) you can cite them to support statements in the article. Let me know if you need further help. – ukexpat (talk) 02:39, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Selfridge–Conway discrete procedure

This article expands a section of envy-free division.

It is about how to cut a cake between three people so that nobody envies nobody.

Please enrich me with your feedback.

viebel (talk) 21:47, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm struggling with this article, and have to try to keep separate my comments on it as an article from the actual contents.

First, re contents. The moving knife algorithm is far superior in efficiency, and generalizes for n players, so it isn't clear why we care about Selfridge–Conway. However, this speaks to Notability. Is it historically notable because it preceded moving knife solutions? Or is it notable because moving knife solutions are considered a special class of solutions? Without some response along this line, it is difficult to understand why we care about an inefficient procedure with limited application.

In addition, the Selfridge–Conway algorithm is fully described in the long-standing article Envy-free. If you think your description is better than that one, I see the choices as:

Edit Envy-free to make it better
Discuss at the talk page of Envy-free why the algorithm should be split out into a separate article. However, given the extremely short existing length, I can't imagine why that would happen.

Sorry about the less than positive reaction to your efforts. You obviously have some skill, and I hope you will stay to edit other articles of interest to you, but I don't yet see how your draft article makes sense in light of the existing coverage.--SPhilbrick T 14:43, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Kidnapping of Michaela Garecht

The Kidnapping of Michaela Garecht —Preceding unsigned comment added by 92.0.42.187 (talk) 23:31, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am afraid that I have nominated the article for deletion for the reasons stated at the Afd discussion. – ukexpat (talk) 00:42, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

International Forum on Disability Management

Serifz (talk) 00:07, 20 November 2009 (UTC)Serifz, November 19, 2009[reply]

Draft is at User:Serifz/International Forum on Disability Management. – ukexpat (talk) 00:34, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Paul Welday

I am a new wikipedia editor looking for this article's validity to be accepted. What do I do? It is for Paul Welday. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Soccer4926 (talk • contribs) 02:24, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I see one or two problems. See WP:CRYSTAL. This appears to be about someone who might be nominated or elected to office. I don't know whether announcing one's candidacy for office is sufficient for notability, but I kinda doubt it. (I'm not admin, I'm just an editor like you, so don't take this as gospel!)

There's also the issue of regional interest. If a person is running for a federal office, I think the person needs to be notable on their own until they actually win the race. Think of Al Franken of Minnesota (or Sonny Bono of CA, or Fred Grandy of IA). He had already established a notable career before running for the US Senate. I don't see notability yet for Mr. Welday. My 2 cents. BTW, remember to sign your entries. Dcs002 (talk) 11:52, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your analysis is correct, please see WP:POLITICIAN. The article has been speedily deleted. – ukexpat (talk) 20:06, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Bog turtle

Bog turtle is being actively worked on and is getting closer to being GA quality. But it isn't there yet. If anyone is interested, could you make a comment or two regarding things you see in the article that are problematic (and things that are working). Cheers, Wassupwestcoast (talk) 02:53, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

2 comments: 1) This looks really good to me! You have high standards I think. 2) In the "Scientific Classification" section (taxonomy), class and order are missing. Any reason? Was it intentional? Again, I think this article looks really good. Nice pictures, and I like the endangered species scale graphic. Dcs002 (talk) 11:59, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time! Very good point about needing a taxonomy section. Cheers!Wassupwestcoast (talk) 15:12, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, we appreciate all the help we can get. I am going to check the taxonomy box right now. Thanks to both westcoast and Dcs002.--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 21:10, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have added the class and order on the page, again thanks for the feedback.--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 21:23, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your help. --Merry Beth (talk) 16:52, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Homeowners of Texas

How am I doing? Please check out Homeowners of Texas. It describes a non-profit that seeks to protect people from corporate abuse. I’m the Communications Director, so I had to work extra hard to be neutral and unbiased. In the spirit of full disclosure, I declared my potential Conflict of Interest in the DISCUSSION page, where I also address potential issues of notability and copyright. Is that the best place for that? I rewrote my original article (as a draft this time) to address issues raised by an administrator, andI hope I got it right this time with an article acceptable to the Wikipedia community. Thanks for your help. Wayne Caswell, Communications Director, Homeowners of Texas
(waynecaswell AT homeownersoftexas.org) TXhomeowner (talk) 03:59, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I can see you've put a lot of thought into the notability issue, but unfortunately I don't think you've quite got it yet. I think it's still at risk for speedy deletion.

First of all, I don't think there should be a notability section per se in the article. Notability is established within the text of the article. But in the notability section, you cited your organization's website three times as the source for the good works your organization has accomplished. Articles about organizations can't cite themselves in order to establish notability. (Imagine a person doing that. They make their own website listing all the good things they've done, and then start a WP article about themselves, citing their own website as evidence of notability. People can't do that, and neither can organizations. It lacks verifiability.) The two remaining sources cited in that section are cited in support of the claim that two state agencies also criticized the TRCC. I didn't read through those sources (the first one I opened was 54 pages long), but unless they satisfy the notability criteria directly for your organization they won't work either.

Because of these issues, it still reads like a self-serving publicity piece. I don't think that's what you intended, but that's how it looks when an organization claims certain accomplishments and then cites itself as the source for those accomplishments.

I think your organization might very well be notable by WP standards. I just don't think you've established that yet. Look for news or magazine reports, maybe quotes by prominent people... If the organization is notable, it should be pretty easy to find this kind of documentation for it. Good luck! Dcs002 (talk) 11:37, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

And of course there is still the problem that TXhomeowner has a huge conflict of interest here. It is not an insurmountable problem, but will lead to the article receiving considerable scrutiny, as indeed it has in the past - it has been speedily deleted at least twice. TXhomeowner has also been blocked as a WP:SPAMNAME. – ukexpat (talk) 15:44, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oops! I said "Look for news or magazine reports, maybe quotes by prominent people..." There are already news reports cited right below the paragraph I had commented on. Sorry!

However, the clear majority of citations still point to the organization's website. I think the problem still exists that it looks like a self-promotion piece. It might be best if you remove all information that's supported by citations pointing to the organization's website and see what you have left. Try to build the article based on existing media reports. Remember, verifiability usually requires that key information comes from sources other than the subject of the article itself. Dcs002 (talk) 11:13, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Eric Gillette article

Hello, I am requesting feedback on an article I created, which can be located at Eric Gillette. I appreciate any pointers or criticisms that anyone could provide.

Joebjay20 (talk) 14:25, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please take a look at the tags that have been placed on the draft. If moved to the mainspace in its current form, it would almost certainly be speedily deleted as advertising. – ukexpat (talk) 18:40, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi ukexpat,

I have made changes to the article and I would appreciate your assistance with further feedback.

Joebjay20 (talk) 16:06, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Novus Biologicals

Novus Biologicals - I created a new page for an international antibody company that has recently won a few awards. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

AmyChamberlain (talk) 19:28, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

First of all, as Product Marketing Manager for the company you have a huge conflict of interest and are strongly advised not to create or edit articles about the company, as it is very hard for you to mantain a neutral point of view. I have looked at the article and the tone is a little promotional, and you need some more reliable sources to support notability. Please take a look at WP:CORP and WP:FAQO. – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Paper and Pulp Industry in Dryden

Hello all!

I have written an new article onPaper and Pulp Industry in Dryden. So, I am hoping that someone would take a look at it ,and hopefully someone give me any feedback for my article.

Thank you for your time!

User:MT0220 17:35, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia does not use capital letters for common nouns in its article title - see WP:CAPS - so I have moved the article to Paper and pulp industry in Dryden, Ontario. In terms of content, it is fine. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:50, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article "Paper and Pulp Industry in Dryden" is very interesting. It informs others whta happens when paper is made and what the consequenes are. This article has all the good elements of what, how, why and where. The article tells the reader what the issue is, how it is affecting others and what things are being done to resolve the issue. It is al well written and clearly stated so that the audience attention comes easily. The information is brief, but useful and worth reading. It does not drag on, to get to a point. There is also evidence of highly reliable information with access to valuable sources. You also mind your semnatics as well as structures of the contents of this article. There is evidence of 15 sources used in the reference for this short article. This confirms that a serious amount of energy and work has been put on this article. overall evaluation of this article, it is strongly written with highly reliable and valuable information. Its clear-cut ideas makes others interested to read. Well contructed, thoghtout and written. It is excellent load of information and worth-while reading. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 199.212.53.54 (talk) 20:14, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Elizabeth Needham article

Help!! There are so many choices I don't know where to go to comment on the article about Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper. I was actually looking to see what you had for Elizabeth Needham the First Fleet convict, and I was intrigued to see that Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper had the Earl of Winchelsea as a client. Was he the son or the husband of Lady Charlotte Finch? Elizabeth Needham the convict was born in 1762 Elizabeth Gore, the daughter of George Gore and his wife Elizabeth nee Lake. George was the coachman to Lady Charlotte Finch and Elizabeth their daughter, was brought up in their house. Elizabeth Gore married Henry Needham, a butcher, on 11 Feb 1782 and they had a child. Shc was convicted of stealing two pairs of silk stockings and transported to Australia for seven years, where she served her sentence and married three more times, becoming a useful and very wealthy member of the new colony. Having seen your article, I'm wondering if this Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper could have been Elizabeth Gore's mother-in-law? Is there anything known about her possible children? Merilyn Pedrick Aldgate South Australia —Preceding unsigned comment added by 118.210.255.218 (talk) 02:17, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia has a reference desk (click WP:RD) for questions like this. Go there and click the Humanities link to ask your question. Dcs002 (talk) 11:22, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Adrak Ke Punjey

Adrak Ke Punjey Ekmukhlishyderabadi (talk) 14:10, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Popup camper

Popup camper I created a new article about popup campers, a popular type of recreational vehicle. This is my first article, so advice is appreciated. Korey99 (talk) 15:06, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think overall it looks nice -- much better than my first article. Just three things: Did you license the photos properly? (They look great, illustrate the topic very well.) And did you mean to say AC to DC converters instead of DC to AC? (I'm not a camper -- I don't know. It's just that if they have deep cycle batteries and you want to run AC items, it would be the other way around. Again, I ask because I don't know.) Finally, just concerning visual appearance, it seems that most of the article space is taken up with lists. I personally think that makes it a bit clunky to read. Hope this helps! Dcs002 (talk) 10:56, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the help! The photos are all my own work, and I submitted them to Wikimedia commons. Only one of them got a request for "permission" though. The AC to DC is actually correct (it's a device to get DC power when plugged in). About the lists - Do you think I should collapse them into paragraph form? That is the way I originally had it. Thanks for all the comments! As an aside, I'd love if someone could help getting my image annotations to work on the article page, but I'll seek help through a more appropriate forum. --Korey99 (talk) 22:59, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Cameron Knowles Show

The Cameron Knowles Show Knowlamp (talk) 19:00, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A good draft article. I think it is ready to be moved into main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:55, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sears Hometown Stores

SearsHTS/Sears Hometown Stores

SearsHTS (talk) 22:03, 21 November 2009 (UTC) SearHTS November 21, 2009[reply]

Your draft article is not ready for main article space yet, because it has no sources. I have moved it back to your user space, User:SearsHTS/Sears Hometown Stores. In addition, your choice of user name indicates that you may have a conclict of interest when writing about this company, in which case it may be inappropriate for you to be writing this article at all. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:09, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Chandra Om

Hello,

This is the first page i have created, subject is Chandra Om [2], a well-known teacher in Yoga circles. i am intersted if you think it needs any work, and what type before i try to post it for everyone to see. Thanks very much.

Premandom (talk) 23:30, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

μWatch

I have just written a brief article on an unusual DIY watch called the User:NigelFraserKer/μWatch. I'm cautious about the fact that the name includes the symbol "μ" and therefore may cause problems with people searching for it...perhaps the title should be "μWatch or uWatch"?

NigelFraserKer (talk) 11:19, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Tarif Khalidi

Tarif Khalidi Tarif Khalidi http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Angiebean1256/Tarif_Khalidi&oldid=327104465

Angiebean1256 (talk) 11:53, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Corby & Baily

I am looking for feedback and guidance on the above article on British Artists Corby and Baily.

Corby & Baily

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corby_%26_Baily

Many thanks. Mothas

(Mothas (talk) 18:07, 22 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices

User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices is a draft of an article that I am writing about mesovortices, and I am looking for feedback on how it can be improved (I'm guessing by adding more sources, but what else?). Right now the article incorporates text from mesocyclone and Eye (tropical cyclone)#Eyewall mesovortices, and will hopefully eventually be a main article for those two topics, rather than vice versa. Any and all input appreciated, Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 00:25, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

@@ Line 1,599: / Line 1,599: @@
 ([[User:Mothas|Mothas]] ([[User talk:Mothas|talk]]) 18:07, 22 November 2009 (UTC))
+== User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices ==
+[[User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices]] is a draft of an article that I am writing about mesovortices, and I am looking for feedback on how it can be improved (I'm guessing by adding more sources, but what else?). Right now the article incorporates text from [[mesocyclone]] and [[Eye (tropical cyclone)#Eyewall mesovortices]], and will hopefully eventually be a main article for those two topics, rather than vice versa. Any and all input appreciated, [[w:User:Ks0stm|<font color="009900" ><b>Ks0stm</b></font>]] <sup>([[User talk:Ks0stm|T]]•[[Special:Contributions/Ks0stm|C]]•[[User:Ks0stm/Guestbook|G]])</sup> 00:25, 23 November 2009 (UTC)