Talk:Bob McDonald (businessman): Difference between revisions
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{{quote box|width=40%|align=left|1=<small>{{highlight round|'''Reply 04-JUL-2019'''|bc=#D3E3F1}}</small><br><br>Marking the distinction between the act of completing training for the Army Rangers as opposed to serving in a Ranger battalion is helpful for those readers who may confuse the distinction between those two states of affairs. The claim also contains a quote from the source. If you'd like explanatory text added to the quote, please advise along with references. Also please note for future reference that '''one request template''' is sufficient to handle multiple requests placed at the same time. Thank you! <br><br><span style="font-size:75%;border:2px solid red;border-radius:50px;font-color:#00008b">[[User talk:Spintendo|<span style="color:#00008b;"> <b>Spintendo</b> </span>]]</span> 20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)}}{{clear}} |
{{quote box|width=40%|align=left|1=<small>{{highlight round|'''Reply 04-JUL-2019'''|bc=#D3E3F1}}</small><br><br>Marking the distinction between the act of completing training for the Army Rangers as opposed to serving in a Ranger battalion is helpful for those readers who may confuse the distinction between those two states of affairs. The claim also contains a quote from the source. If you'd like explanatory text added to the quote, please advise along with references. Also please note for future reference that '''one request template''' is sufficient to handle multiple requests placed at the same time. Thank you! <br><br><span style="font-size:75%;border:2px solid red;border-radius:50px;font-color:#00008b">[[User talk:Spintendo|<span style="color:#00008b;"> <b>Spintendo</b> </span>]]</span> 20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)}}{{clear}} |
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== Edit requests == |
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{{request edit}} |
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In '''career '''section, second paragraph, there is "original research" taking place, please '''replace''' the word '''resigned ''' with the word '''retired''', which is the actual word used in the cited source. |
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"He resigned from P&G on June 30, 2013" |
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'''with''' |
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"He retired from P&G on June 30, 2013<ref name=rt>{{Cite web|url=https://www.businessinsider.com/pg-ceo-bob-mcdonald-retires-2013-5|title=P&G CEO Bob McDonald Steps Down After Pressure From Bill Ackman, Activist Investor|last=Edwards|first=Jim|website=Business Insider|access-date=2019-07-04}}</ref>" |
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At end of '''controversies''' section, please '''remove''': |
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On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times.<ref name="Disney Remark">{{cite web|last1=Washington Post|title=Disney Remark |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2016/05/23/va-chief-compares-waits-for-veteran-care-to-disneyland-they-dont-measure-and-we-shouldnt-either/?hpid=hp_local-news_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory|accessdate=May 23, 2016}}</ref> He apologized the next day.{{who|date=June 2019}}<ref>{{cite web |url=http://abcnews.go.com/US/va-secretary-robert-mcdonald-deeply-regrets-wait-time/story?id=39348903|title=VA Secretary 'Deeply Regrets' Wait Time Remarks|first=A. B. C.|last=News|date=May 24, 2016|website=ABC News|accessdate=March 25, 2018}}</ref> |
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reasoning for removal is: |
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The cited source does not include any statement by Secretary McDonald. Furthermore, the source does not state "this statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect". Furthermore, the article cited does not mention that "Disney does measure wait times". The statement is not supported by the source, and appears to be [[WP:ORIGINAL]]. |
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At beginning of '''controversies''' section, please '''remove''': |
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On February 23, 2015, McDonald admitted he misspoke trying to engage a homeless veteran on January 30, 2015, about his serving in the [[Special Forces (United States Army)|U.S. Army Special Forces]], a conversation that was recorded by a [[CBS]] television news crew accompanying him during a nationwide count of homeless veterans. "I have no excuse, I was not in the special forces" he told ''[[The Huffington Post]]'', which first broke the story.<ref name=hp>{{cite web|last1=Huffington Post|title=VA Secretary Robert McDonald Falsely Claimed He Served In Special Forces|url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/23/robert-mcdonald-special-forces_n_6739184.html |website=The Huffington Post|accessdate=February 24, 2015}}</ref> |
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There appears to be a good deal of [[WP:ORIGINAL]] in this paragraph, for the following: |
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The date is not included in this source. There is not mention of "admitted" in the source. The source states "homeless man", not "homeless veteran". There is no indication that HuffPost was the "first to break the story". |
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Thank you, |
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[[User:Naadobea1776|Naadobea1776]] ([[User talk:Naadobea1776|talk]]) 15:08, 5 July 2019 (UTC) |
Revision as of 15:08, 5 July 2019
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Untitled
Anybody laugh a bit when they read 'He has committed to build P&G’s business by touching and improving more consumers’ lives in more parts of the world… more completely'. Advertising or what? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 82.7.33.84 (talk) 12:30, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
- Yuppers! It is either a blatant copyvio or advertising, and it comes straight from their website. I'll try to fix the most obvious problems now. An Editor With a Self-Referential Name (talk) 20:27, 6 July 2011 (UTC)
Political Affiliation
I removed the "Political Affiliation" section listing Robert McDonald as a Democrat. If anything, Mr. McDonald is known as a heavy contributor to Republicans, including to 2012 Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney, House of Representative Speaker Boehner and Senator Portland. See: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/30/us/bob-mcdonald-veterans-affairs-obama.html and http://www.cincinnati.com/story/opinion/editorials/2014/07/21/editorial-senators-embrace-bob-mcdonald/12979023/ 209.29.21.196 (talk) 22:54, 29 July 2014 (UTC)
- Proposed change of political party - please change from |party = Republican to |party = Independent
Tsmith47 (talk) 14:20, 7 February 2019 (UTC)
Some proposed changes
![]() | It is requested that an edit be made to the semi-protected article at A. (edit · history · last · links · protection log)
This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
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Information to be added or removed: New citation to be added for board position at Xerox under Personal Life
Explanation of issue: new citation request
References supporting change: https://www.xerox.com/about-xerox/executive-leadership/board-of-directors/robert-mcdonald/enus.html
Information to be added or removed: New citation to be added for board position at McKinsey Advisory Council under Personal Life
Explanation of issue: new citation request
References supporting change: https://www.thayerleaderdevelopment.com/people/board/bob-mcdonald
Tsmith47 (talk) 22:43, 22 October 2018 (UTC)
Reply 22-OCT-2018
Additional changes made: A paragraph of text was removed from the article, as it was insufficiently paraphrased from the source material. The text in question was taken from this fact sheet dated June 2015 prepared by the VA. On or about the same month of June 2015, this edit by the editor Be4sun added the paragraph to the article. Added text should be written using an editor's own words and using an editor's own phrasing, per WP:CLOSEPARAPHRASE.
- The names and professions of the subject's adult children were omitted, per WP:BLPNAMES.
Regards, Spintendo 04:29, 23 October 2018 (UTC)
Some proposed changes
![]() | It is requested that edits be made to the following semi-protected articles:
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Information to be added or removed: Remove - He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1975 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering. Add - He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1975 in the top 2% of his class with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering. Explanation of issue: Update to second sentence of Early life and education with additional content referencing top 2% of class References supporting change: https://www.usma.edu/mclc/siteassets/sitepages/mclc_2012/mr.%20bob%20mcdonald%20bio.pdf
Information to be added or removed: Remove - At West Point he served as the Brigade Adjutant for the Corps of Cadets and was awarded the Silver Medal from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufacturing and Commerce. Add - At West Point he served as the Brigade Adjutant for the Corps of Cadets and was awarded the Silver Medal from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufacturing and Commerce as the most distinguished graduate in academics, leadership, and physical education. Explanation of issue: Update to the third sentence of Early life and education with expanded description of award won References supporting change: none provided
Information to be added or removed: Remove - After graduation, he served in the U.S. Army for five years, primarily in the 82 Airborne Division, attaining the rank of Captain, and earned an MBA from the University of Utah in 1978. Add - After graduation, he served in the U.S. Army for five years, primarily in the 82nd Airborne Division where he earned the Ranger tab, the Expert Infantryman Badge, Senior Parachutist wings, and attained the rank of Captain. Explanation of issue: Update to the fourth sentence of Early life and education with additional content related to earned awards and attaining the rank of Captain. References supporting change: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/bob-mcdonald-former-pandg-chief-to-be-obamas-nominee-to-lead-veterans-affairs/2014/06/29/2fddd794-ffab-11e3-b8ff-89afd3fad6bd_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.7bde22d86ea5
Information to be added or removed: Remove - Upon leaving the military he received the Meritorious Service Medal.[5] Add - Upon leaving the military he received the Meritorious Service Medal[5] and in 1978 earned an MBA from the University of Utah. Explanation of issue: Re-arrange the structure of the final sentence to Early life and education, and, provide a new citation for MBA from the University of Utah. References supporting change: https://www.deseretnews.com/article/705309818/University-of-Utah-grad-has-ambitious-plans-as-new-CEO-of-PG.html
Tsmith47 (talk) 19:24, 6 November 2018 (UTC)
Reply 07-NOV-2018
- By definition, revisions take an already-existing sentence and change its wording. By labeling the changes as "Information to be added or removed" without specifying which outcome (add or remove) applies to which instance, the COI editor has introduced ambiguity to the equation.[a] Please provide certainty by listing:
- The sentence that is being revised (as it appears in its pre-revision state)
- The sentence as it will appear (in its post-revision state)
When ready to proceed with the requested information, please alter the {{Request edit}}
template's answer parameter to read from |ans=yes
to |ans=no
Regards, Spintendo 09:15, 7 November 2018 (UTC)
Notes
- ^ It is understood that the edit request template may initially suggest this ambiguity by setting up the wording in this manner. However, the dual wording is meant to suggest that the COI editor has either option open to them, and should then further distinguish on their own to the reviewer which of those configurations apply in each instance (i.e., whether to add, to remove, or to both add and remove).
Reply to edit request 15-NOV-2018
Below you will see where proposals from your request have been quoted with reviewer decisions and feedback inserted underneath, either accepting, declining or otherwise commenting upon your proposal(s). Please read the enclosed notes within the proposal review section below for information on each request. Spintendo 13:14, 15 November 2018 (UTC)
Proposal review 15-NOV-2018
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Some proposed changes
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McDonald is Chairman of the Board of RallyPoint Networks, Inc.[1], a Board Member of Quotient Technology[2], a Board Member of the Institute For Veterans and Military Families[3], a Board Member of the Partnership for Public Service[4], a Board Member of the Association of Graduates of the United States Military Academy[5], and a Board Member of the McCormick Research[6].
Bob and his wife, Diane, are the founders of The McDonald Conference for Leaders of Character at West Point[7]and have funded the commission of a statue of General Grant on the Plain at West Point[8]. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Tsmith47 (talk • contribs) 20:30, 1 February 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ https://globenewswire.com/news-release/2017/07/24/1056196/0/en/Bob-McDonald-Former-VA-Secretary-and-P-G-CEO-Joins-RallyPoint-Board-of-Directors.html
- ^ https://investors.quotient.com/investors/governance/board-of-directors/person-details/default.aspx?ItemId=8d942d5a-51e4-400c-9546-f3088bc267d2
- ^ https://ivmf.syracuse.edu/team-member/robert-a-mcdonald/
- ^ https://ourpublicservice.org/staff/robert-a-mcdonald/
- ^ https://www.westpointaog.org/document.doc?id=8905
- ^ Institute http://www.mccormick.us/about-us/board-of-directors
- ^ http://www.pointerview.com/2017/04/06/mcdonald-conference-for-leaders-of-character/
- ^ http://www.pageturnpro.com/West-Point-Association-of-Graduates/85359-West-Point-Magazine-Summer-2018/default.html#page/58
Reply 2-FEB-2019
Below you will see where proposals from your request have been quoted with reviewer decisions and feedback inserted underneath, either accepting, declining or otherwise commenting upon your proposal(s). Please read the enclosed notes within the proposal review section below for information on each request. Spintendo 16:25, 2 February 2019 (UTC)
Proposal review 2-FEB-2019
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- McDonald is a Board Member of RallyPoint Networks, Inc.[1], a Board Member of Quotient Technology[2], a Board Member of the Institute For Veterans and Military Families[3], and a Board Member of the Partnership for Public Service[4].
Tsmith47 (talk) 19:30, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
Career - Some Proposed Changes
![]() | It is requested that edits be made to the following semi-protected articles:
This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
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McDonald joined Procter & Gamble in 1980.[5] He served as a brand manager for Tide from 1984–1986. In 1989 he transferred to Toronto to lead P&G's Canadian Laundry business, and moved to the Philippines as General Manager in 1991. In 1995 he became Vice President, Laundry & Cleaning Products Asia, and relocated to Japan. A year later in 1996, McDonald became President, Japan Operations, and in 1999, President, Northeast Asia. Two years later he moved to Brussels as President, Global Fabric Care and later President, Global Fabric & Home Care. He was appointed Vice Chairman, Global Operations in 2004 and appointed Chief Operating Officer in July 2007. McDonald became President and Chief Executive on July 1, 2009.[6] He assumed the Chairman of the Board role January 1, 2010.
During his tenure, investors criticized McDonald for being too loyal to P&G traditions, being too slow to pursue layoffs and other cuts, and being unable to produce new product innovations, particularly compared to his predecessor and replacement A.G. Lafley.[7] He resigned from P&G on June 30, 2013, following pressure from the company board and activist investors such as Bill Ackman; he was replaced by his predecessor A.G. Lafley, who returned from retirement.[8][9][10]
Under McDonald's leadership, Procter & Gamble grew organic sales by an average of about 3% per year with core earnings per share up an average of about 4% and expanded its marketing footprint by adding nearly one billion people to its global customer base[11].
Procter & Gamble company stock price rose from $51.10 to $78.80 during his tenure as CEO – a 60 percent increase from 2009 to 2013[12] a 50% increase, trailing the 80% in the S&P 500 in the same period[13].
McDonald’s leadership style resulted in recognition for Procter & Gamble by both Chief Executive Magazine[14] and The Hay Group[15] as one of the best companies for leadership.
McDonald is on the boards of the following organizations:
Board member | RallyPoint[16] |
Board member | Quotient Technology[17] |
Board member | Partnership for Public Service[18] |
Tsmith47 (talk) 21:03, 19 February 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ https://globenewswire.com/news-release/2017/07/24/1056196/0/en/Bob-McDonald-Former-VA-Secretary-and-P-G-CEO-Joins-RallyPoint-Board-of-Directors.html
- ^ https://investors.quotient.com/investors/governance/board-of-directors/person-details/default.aspx?ItemId=8d942d5a-51e4-400c-9546-f3088bc267d2
- ^ https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/20-vets-groups-urge-trump-to-keep-mcdonald-at-va
- ^ https://ourpublicservice.org/staff/robert-a-mcdonald/
- ^ "Bob McDonald Biography". Archived from the original on May 11, 2013. Retrieved July 19, 2010.
{{cite web}}
: Unknown parameter|dead-url=
ignored (|url-status=
suggested) (help) - ^ Reingold, Jennifer (February 25, 2013). "Can P&G's CEO Hang On?". Fortune. 167 (3): 66–75.
- ^ Jr, Richard A. Oppel (June 30, 2014). "V.A. Nominee McDonald Faced Criticism at Procter & Gamble". The New York Times. ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved October 23, 2017.
- ^ Isidore, Chris. "Ackman wins, P&G dumps CEO". CNNMoney. Retrieved October 23, 2017.
- ^ "Return of P&G's former CEO puts his reputation at stake | Seattle Times Newspaper". old.seattletimes.com. Retrieved October 23, 2017.
- ^ "Robert A. McDonald retiring from P&G". May 23, 2013.
- ^ https://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/procter-gamble-ceo-solving-worlds-sustainability-challenges
- ^ https://www.macrotrends.net/stocks/charts/PG/procter-gamble/stock-price-history
- ^ https://www.cnbc.com/id/100757475
- ^ https://chiefexecutive.net/10-best-companies-for-leaders-2012-1-procter-gamble/
- ^ https://www.businesstoday.in/current/corporate/procter-and-gampble-world-best-firm-in-leadership-haygroup/story/212065.html
- ^ Borthwick, Allison (24 July 2017). "Bob McDonald, Former VA Secretary and P&G CEO, Joins RallyPoint Board of Directors". GlobeNewswire News Room (Press release).
- ^ "Quotient Technology Inc. - Investors - Governance - Board of Directors - Bio". investors.quotient.com (Press release).
- ^ "Robert A. McDonald". Partnership for Public Service (Press release).
Reply 19-FEB-2019
- Per WP:NOTCV.
Regards, Spintendo 23:44, 19 February 2019 (UTC)
U.S. Secretary of Veterans Affairs - Some Proposed Changes
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This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
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Extended content
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References
References
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Tsmith47 (talk) 17:48, 3 April 2019 (UTC)
Reply 9-APR-2019
Extended content
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Please note that much of the information suggested to be added pertains to the VA, and not necessarily the subject himself. This information should not be included in the request. With regards to the remainder of the information directly pertinent to the subject, kindly rewrite your edit request so that it aligns more with the second example shown in the collapsed section above, and feel free to re-submit that edit request at your earliest convenience. If you have any questions about this formatting please don't hesitate to ask myself or another editor. Notes
References
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Regards, Spintendo 14:44, 9 April 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you for your work correcting the citation style. I will review this shortly. Spintendo 18:00, 11 April 2019 (UTC)
Reply 11-APR-2019
- Items 2, 3, 4, and 8 are more apropos for the article on the VA.
- Items 1, 5, and 7 per WP:NOTNEWS.
- Item 6's reference is to a video, whereas the
{{cite AV media}}
template was not used. If that template is to be employed, it should include the|time index=
parameter.[a]
Regards, Spintendo 21:52, 11 April 2019 (UTC)
Notes
- ^ One element of this claim, the subject's work at P&G, is already in the article.
Some Proposed Changes - Controversies
Controversies
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Since the beginning of his term as Secretary of VA in August of 2014, McDonald replaced 14 of the top 17 leaders[1]. McDonald’s predecessor at the VA, Eric Shinseki, fired 2,247 people during fiscal year 2013[2] which was slightly higher than the rate of VA employees that had left or were terminated by McDonald as of February 20, 2015[3].
In 2016 McDonald sought more stringent firing rules under a massive Veterans reform proposal and received support for Senator Johnny Isaksen of Georgia who stated that in regards to VA employees he wanted McDonald to “hold them accountable”[4].
On November 6, 2014, McDonald was quoted as saying “changing culture is one of the most important things a leader can do” in reference to visiting 41 different VA facilities to evaluate needed areas of change that included one facility in Phoenix, AZ whose wait times had already been decrease by 37%[5].Tsmith47 (talk) 12:37, 17 April 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ Bizjournals. "Former P&G CEO McDonald: 'Leading a large organization is challenging under any circumstances'". www.bizjournals.com. Bizjournals. Retrieved April 5, 2019.
- ^ Politifact. "VA secretary claims 900 firings, 60 related to wait times, since he took over". www.politifact.com. Politifact. Retrieved April 5, 2019.
- ^ Politifact. "VA secretary claims 900 firings, 60 related to wait times, since he took over". www.politifact.com. Politifact. Retrieved April 5, 2019.
- ^ First Coast News. "New VA firing rules, health care options moving quickly". www.firstcoastnews.com. ABC News. Retrieved April 5, 2019.
- ^ The Christian Science Monitor. "VA chief Bob McDonald: curbing culture seen as callous toward veterans". www.washingtonpost.com. The Washington Post. Retrieved April 5, 2019.
Reply 17-APR-2019
"McDonald replaced 14 of 17 leaders... McDonalds predecessor at the VA, Skinseki, fired 2,247..."
this is clearly info for the VA article."In 2016 McDonald sought more stringent firing rules"
To "seek" something is an amorphous act, as things can be sought physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. A student who seeks to succeed on a test may study hard, they may read a bit more, or they may psychologically prepare themselves for the task of test taking. In other words, that McDonald "sought more stringent firing rules" says nothing about what was done about those firing rules. Likewise, Senator Isaksen's "support" of McDonald is equally amorphous, as that support could really mean anything. Indeed, the source says "A massive veterans reform measure including new employment rules for senior officials and an overhaul of outside care programs could be on the Senate floor early next month". The word could describes something that hasn't happened yet."On November 6, 2014, McDonald was quoted..."
Quotes from McDonald are not really the purpose of the article, per WP:NOTQUOTE.
Regards, Spintendo 13:37, 17 April 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes - Personal Life
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Bob McDonald is the founder of the McDonald Conference for Leaders of Character[1]that annually brings together exemplary students from universities such as Princeton[2], Georgia Tech[3], Wake Forest[4], Seton Hall[5], The University of Florida[6], Cornell University[7] and others from around the globe with distinguished senior leaders to help bolster leadership skills, foster collaboration, and to develop strategies for addressing pressing global issues.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:28, 19 April 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ NY Times Education. "Spotlight on Leaders". NY Times Education. Retrieved April 3, 2019.
- ^ Princeton University. "ODUS Fellows: McDonald Conference for Leaders of Character". Princeton University. Retrieved April 3, 2019.
- ^ Georgia Tech Division of Student Life. "The McDonald Conference for Leaders of Character". Georgia Tech. Retrieved April 3, 2019.
- ^ Wake Forest University School of Business. "Student Leadership Conference Program Wraps up Successful Year with West Point Conference". Wake Forest University School of Business. Retrieved April 3, 2019.
{{cite web}}
:|last1=
has generic name (help) - ^ Seton Hall University Stillman School of Business. "Seniors Francis Ahmed and Brooks Mencke Represent Seton Hall at the McDonald Cadet Leadership Conference". Seton Hall University. Retrieved April 3, 2019.
{{cite web}}
:|last1=
has generic name (help) - ^ University of Florida Engineering Leadership Institute. "MCDONALD CONFERENCE FOR LEADERS OF CHARACTER (MCLC)". University of Florida. Retrieved April 3, 2019.
- ^ Cornell University Leadership Institute. "WEST POINT LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE". Cornell University. Retrieved April 3, 2019.
Reply 19-APR-2019
Edit request implemented
This is more of a professional item rather than a personal item, so it was placed under Career.
Regards, Spintendo 13:59, 19 April 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes to Personal Life
Personal Life
Philanthropy
![]() | It is requested that an edit be made to the semi-protected article at A. (edit · history · last · links · protection log)
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McDonald donated a statue of General Ulysses S. Grant that was unveiled on April 25, 2019 on The Plain at West Point[1].Tsmith47 (talk) 12:35, 30 April 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ RecordOnline. "West Point unveils statue of Grant". www.recordonlilne.com. Times Herald-Record. Retrieved April 30, 2019.
Edit request implemented --valereee (talk) 12:52, 30 April 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes - Career
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- Career
McDonald is one of 15 chief executives named to the Corporate CEO Council of The Advanced Leadership Initiative[1].Tsmith47 (talk) 18:46, 28 May 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ PRNewsWire. "The Advanced Leadership Initiative Announces New Corporate CEO Council: 15 CEOs Committed to Advancing African American Executive Leadership". www.prnewswire.com. The Advanced Leadership Institute. Retrieved May 28, 2019.
Reply 28-MAY-2019
- The Advanced Leadership Initiative is not independently notable in Wikipedia.
Regards, Spintendo 01:44, 29 May 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes
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Tsmith47 (talk) 15:09, 29 May 2019 (UTC) Please place this image in the Personal Life area of the article.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:54, 30 May 2019 (UTC)
- A better photograph to use would be one with the subject standing next to the statue. Surely there must be one where that is the case. Spintendo 19:07, 30 May 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you. I'll re-submit a substitute for consideration.Tsmith47 (talk) 19:13, 3 June 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes
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Tsmith47 (talk) 20:42, 4 June 2019 (UTC)
- I appreciate that the subject has been included in this photograph. However, almost the entirety of the subject is obscured behind the statue's pedestal. Being partially obscured has the added effect of making the subject difficult to spot in the photograph. Looking at it, it takes a moment or two before it becomes clear that there is a person standing behind the statue, and it only becomes clearer a few moments after that whom the person actually is. The photograph itself is also very low resolution. I would repeat my request that the subject be shown prominently next to or in front of the statue in a photograph of a higher resolution for it to be included in the article. (A good example would be this photograph of a statue celebrating the life and work of Theodor Geisel, photographed along with Geisel's wife, with both elements being unambiguously shown.) Regards, Spintendo 05:51, 7 June 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes
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Tsmith47 (talk) 17:08, 7 June 2019 (UTC)
Reply 09-JUN-2019
Edit request implemented Spintendo 09:24, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you.Tsmith47 (talk) 13:01, 11 June 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes - Career
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In 2014 McDonald led a community-based task force[1] to help the city of Cincinnati better understand what was required to renovate its Museum Center[2] and Music Hall[3]. He worked to help pass a tax levy[4] and raise philanthropic funds[5] for the renovation of the iconic buildings.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:55, 13 June 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ BizJournals. "EXCLUSIVE: Bob McDonald on what's next for Music Hall and Union Terminal". www.bizjournals.com. BizJournals. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
- ^ The Enquirer. "Bob McDonald ready for next act". www.cincinnati.com. The Enquirer. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
- ^ BizJournals. "Former P&G CEO McDonald to chair Union Terminal/Music Hall task force". www.bizjournals.com. BizJournals. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
- ^ The News Record. "Union terminal levy passes". www.newsrecord.org. University of Cincinnati. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
- ^ WLWT5. "Final public meeting on Music Hall/Union Terminal tax packed". www.wlwt.com. WLWT5. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
{{cite web}}
: CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
Reply 14-JUN-2019
"led a community-based task force to help the city of Cincinnati better understand..."
This claim needs to clarify which actions specifically were performed on the part of the subject which led to the community-based task force helping the city to "better understand" its renovation of the Museum Center and Music Hall."...for the renovation of the iconic buildings."
This claim needs to be clarified as to which iconic buildings are being referred to.
When ready to proceed, kindly alter the It would be better create a new edit request when ready to proceed rather than re-activating an older one which might be difficult for other editors to spot due to the intervening text below. Thank you! {{request edit}}
template's answer parameter to read from |ans=yes
to |ans=no
and list your responses below.
Regards, Spintendo 13:00, 14 June 2019 (UTC)
- Will do. Thank you for the feedback!Tsmith47 (talk) 13:19, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
Remove controversies section or incorporate citations throughout text?
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The section seems a bit out of place, and some things feel like they don't really belong in the article because of due weight, and also guidelines on criticism in biographies. The length of this is about as long as an entire 30 year career span, yet it covers three specific items within two years. They don't seem to add anything much encyclopedic to the article, and having not been familiar with the topic of this biography at large, they seem out of place.
Anyone have thoughts?
Remove: On a February 15, 2015 airing of Meet the Press, McDonald stated that 60 Veterans Affairs employees had been fired because of the VA's wait time scandal. Later, he backtracked and clarified it was only eight employees that lost their jobs.[23]
Remove an extended quote from "Huffington Post" which does not seem helpful to this article for due weight.
The Huffington Post reported that "special operations forces" includes the Army Rangers and that McDonald "completed Army Ranger training and took courses in jungle, arctic and desert warfare. He qualified as a senior parachutist and airborne jumpmaster, and was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division until he resigned his commission in 1980. While he earned a Ranger tab designating him as a graduate of Ranger School, he never served in a Ranger battalion or any other special operations unit.[23]"
Remove A comment about Disney wait times seems trivial in due weight:
On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times.[25] Speaker of the House Paul Ryan criticized McDonald's comments on Twitter and in a blog post, saying, "This is not make-believe, Mr. Secretary. Veterans have died waiting in those lines."[26] He apologized the next day.[27]
— Preceding unsigned comment added by Naadobea1776 (talk • contribs) 15:39, 14 June 2019 (UTC)
Reply 14-JUN-2019
- The first item's reference is non-functional and its claim was omitted.
- Part of the reference for item 2 which was cited by the non-functioning URL above was switched with the Huffington Post cite, as the information ostensibly aligns with that reference.
- In item 3, the following sentences were either removed or appended with inline maintenance templates:
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan criticized McDonald's comments on Twitter and in a blog post, saying, "This is not make-believe, Mr. Secretary. Veterans have died waiting in those lines."
This item was removed as it's reference is non-functional."He apologized the next day."
This claim does not clarify who made the apology, and was given the who? inline template.
- The COI editor is reminded of the need to sign all posts using 4 tildes.
Regards, Spintendo 19:23, 14 June 2019 (UTC)
Some Proposed Changes - Career
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In 2014 McDonald led a community-based task force[1] to help the city of Cincinnati renovate its Museum Center[2] and Music Hall[3]. He helped to craft a tax levy proposal[4] that passed[5] for the renovation of the buildings.Tsmith47 (talk) 18:48, 21 June 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ BizJournals. "EXCLUSIVE: Bob McDonald on what's next for Music Hall and Union Terminal". www.bizjournals.com. BizJournals. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
- ^ The Enquirer. "Bob McDonald ready for next act". www.cincinnati.com. The Enquirer. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
- ^ BizJournals. "Former P&G CEO McDonald to chair Union Terminal/Music Hall task force". www.bizjournals.com. BizJournals. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
- ^ The Enquirer. "Bob McDonald scolds commissioners on icon tax". www.cincinnati.com. The Enquirer. Retrieved June 21, 2019.
- ^ The News Record. "Union terminal levy passes". www.newsrecord.org. The News Record. Retrieved June 12, 2019.
Drafting tax levy proposals is complicated work which when performed by government attorneys is usually done by staffers brought in to craft the language and phrasing of the tax levy, including research on background information and financial figures. My only remaining question would be whether or not the subject was paid or enumerated in any way for his leadership role in directing and/or consulting with this task force on these activities. It would be highly unusual if the subject performed this consultation work on his own pro bono, a fact which should be noted in the text if that were the case. The claim should also briefly mention what the tax levy was placed on. Regards, Spintendo 17:54, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
- The members of the community who were part of the Cultural Facilities Task Force were not compensated and performed their services pro bono. A strict code of ethics was enforced among the task force members such that no one could personally benefit from their involvement in the project. As an example, the engineering firm that helped in the assessment of the projects could not compete for future contracts. A presentation[1] made by the task force on June 23, 2014 to Hamilton County, Ohio outlines the task force membership, project evaluation and scope, and proposed methods of funding. Absent from the presentation is the mention of any financial compensation for the members of the task force. Lastly, could you be more specific by what you mean when requesting what the tax levy was placed on? I believe there is information to answer that question, however it is unclear to me what you are asking for. Thank you.Tsmith47 (talk) 20:42, 1 July 2019 (UTC)
- That information is exactly what is needed here in the text, thank you for providing it. As far as the tax levy, my question asks what the tax was placed upon. Taxes are usually paid alone (property taxes) or in combination with some type of purchase (sales tax) or transaction signifying a change of state (estate taxes). The mechanics of this tax are not clear. Also if you could provide the page number of the pdf document listed above. Thank you! Regards, Spintendo 20:04, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
Proposed Changes 7/4/2019
![]() | It is requested that an edit be made to the semi-protected article at D. (edit · history · last · links · protection log)
This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
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In career section, second paragraph please replace
"He resigned from P&G on June 30, 2013"
with
"He retired from P&G on June 30, 2013[2]"
Reply 04-JUL-2019
Not done
Resigned is the correct, traditionally-used word to describe "stepping down under pressure".[2]
Spintendo 20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
References
- ^ "Cultural Facilities Task Force" (PDF). Hamilton County Ohio. Retrieved July 1, 2019.
- ^ a b Edwards, Jim. "P&G CEO Bob McDonald Steps Down After Pressure From Bill Ackman, Activist Investor". Business Insider. Retrieved 2019-07-04.
![]() | It is requested that an edit be made to the semi-protected article at D. (edit · history · last · links · protection log)
This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
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At end of controversies section, please remove:
"On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times.[24] He apologized the next day.[who?][25]
reasoning for removal is:
The cited source does not include any statement by Secretary McDonald. Furthermore, the source does not state "this statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect". Furthermore, the article cited does not mention that "Disney does measure wait times". The statement is not supported by the source, and appears to be WP:ORIGINAL.
Naadobea1776 (talk) 16:52, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
Reply 04-JUL-2019
Not done
The original sources mentioned (#24, #25) have not been provided here in the request.
Spintendo 20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
![]() | It is requested that an edit be made to the semi-protected article at D. (edit · history · last · links · protection log)
This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
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At beginning of controversies section, please remove:
On February 23, 2015, McDonald admitted he misspoke trying to engage a homeless veteran on January 30, 2015, about his serving in the U.S. Army Special Forces, a conversation that was recorded by a CBS television news crew accompanying him during a nationwide count of homeless veterans. "I have no excuse, I was not in the special forces" he told The Huffington Post, which first broke the story
There appears to be a good deal of WP:ORIGINAL in this paragraph, for the following:
The date is not included in this source. There is not mention of "admitted" in the source. The source states "homeless man", not "homeless veteran". There is no indication that HuffPost was the "first to break the story".
Naadobea1776 (talk) 16:52, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
Reply 04-JUL-2019
Not done
The source has not been provided with the request.
Spintendo 20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
![]() | It is requested that edits be made to the following semi-protected articles:
This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
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Please remove, at the end of the controversies section, "The Huffington Post reported that "special operations forces" includes the Army Rangers and that McDonald "completed Army Ranger training and took courses in jungle, arctic and desert warfare. He qualified as a senior parachutist and airborne jumpmaster, and was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division until he resigned his commission in 1980. While he earned a Ranger tab designating him as a graduate of Ranger School, he never served in a Ranger battalion or any other special operations unit"
There appears to be a good deal of reduplicated material:
The ranger tab is already included in the infobox, and is redundant in this section, as it is not controversial, and includes a wikilink already in the infobox to further describe what that is. A list of what this is not, is not helpful.
Naadobea1776 (talk) 16:52, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
Reply 04-JUL-2019
Marking the distinction between the act of completing training for the Army Rangers as opposed to serving in a Ranger battalion is helpful for those readers who may confuse the distinction between those two states of affairs. The claim also contains a quote from the source. If you'd like explanatory text added to the quote, please advise along with references. Also please note for future reference that one request template is sufficient to handle multiple requests placed at the same time. Thank you!
Spintendo 20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
Edit requests
![]() | It is requested that an edit be made to the semi-protected article at Bob McDonald (businessman). (edit · history · last · links · protection log)
This template must be followed by a complete and specific description of the request, that is, specify what text should be removed and a verbatim copy of the text that should replace it. "Please change X" is not acceptable and will be rejected; the request must be of the form "please change X to Y".
The edit may be made by any autoconfirmed user. Remember to change the |
In career section, second paragraph, there is "original research" taking place, please replace the word resigned with the word retired, which is the actual word used in the cited source.
"He resigned from P&G on June 30, 2013"
with
"He retired from P&G on June 30, 2013[1]"
At end of controversies section, please remove:
On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times.[2] He apologized the next day.[who?][3]
reasoning for removal is:
The cited source does not include any statement by Secretary McDonald. Furthermore, the source does not state "this statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect". Furthermore, the article cited does not mention that "Disney does measure wait times". The statement is not supported by the source, and appears to be WP:ORIGINAL.
At beginning of controversies section, please remove:
On February 23, 2015, McDonald admitted he misspoke trying to engage a homeless veteran on January 30, 2015, about his serving in the U.S. Army Special Forces, a conversation that was recorded by a CBS television news crew accompanying him during a nationwide count of homeless veterans. "I have no excuse, I was not in the special forces" he told The Huffington Post, which first broke the story.[4]
There appears to be a good deal of WP:ORIGINAL in this paragraph, for the following:
The date is not included in this source. There is not mention of "admitted" in the source. The source states "homeless man", not "homeless veteran". There is no indication that HuffPost was the "first to break the story".
Thank you,
Naadobea1776 (talk) 15:08, 5 July 2019 (UTC)
- ^ Edwards, Jim. "P&G CEO Bob McDonald Steps Down After Pressure From Bill Ackman, Activist Investor". Business Insider. Retrieved 2019-07-04.
- ^ Washington Post. "Disney Remark". Retrieved May 23, 2016.
- ^ News, A. B. C. (May 24, 2016). "VA Secretary 'Deeply Regrets' Wait Time Remarks". ABC News. Retrieved March 25, 2018.
{{cite web}}
:|last=
has generic name (help) - ^ Huffington Post. "VA Secretary Robert McDonald Falsely Claimed He Served In Special Forces". The Huffington Post. Retrieved February 24, 2015.
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