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Template:Did you know nominations/The creation of the violin

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 04:55, 23 July 2016 (UTC)

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The creation of the violin

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Hegedűs Cigány Fiú (Gypsy Boy Fiddler) by György Vastagh
Hegedűs Cigány Fiú (Gypsy Boy Fiddler) by György Vastagh

Created/expanded by NearEMPTiness (talk). Self-nominated at 14:59, 4 May 2016 (UTC).

This needs more copy-editing. For example, the title of the article needs work to make it clear that it's a story title and not actually about the real creation of the violin. And there's an obvious typo "d' something". The key blocker is that the hook seems unacceptable. It seems too subtle or allusive and, even within its own frame of reference, it doesn't seem to make sense as it was the violin that had not been seen before – the current wording seems to suggest that something else came from this.

As the article is translated from German, it may have lost something in translation. I'll see what I can do to help.

Andrew D. (talk) 13:02, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

Hi Andrew D.. Thank you very much for your helpful feedback. I will try further improvements by end of June, after focussing on some some real life priorities. NearEMPTiness (talk) 21:52, 20 May 2016 (UTC)
  • I have started copy-editing the page and have changed the image to one which seems more thematic. Andrew D. (talk) 08:26, 21 May 2016 (UTC)
New enough, long enough. Hook short enough and sourced, but you should put "something that nobody had seen before" in quote marks like I have. No neutrality problems found, no copyright problems found. QPQ done and image properly licensed. I agree that the article requires copyediting; if improvements must wait until the end of June, I say submit the article to WP:GOCE and let them get on with it.--Launchballer 07:49, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
Thank you for your help and recommendations. As proposed, I have entered this article to Wikipedia:WikiProject_Guild_of_Copy_Editors/Requests#The_Creation_of_the_Violin. NearEMPTiness (talk) 11:20, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

@Andrew Davidson: and @Launchballer: The article has now been copy-edited and is ready to be presented on the main page. NearEMPTiness (talk) 04:17, 3 July 2016 (UTC)

  • Third review. This article was new enough, and is long enough, hook is sourced. No close paraphrasing or neutrality detected. The issue with the hook seems to be resolved by the previous reviewers and the article was recently copy edited by WP:GOCE. Good to go.KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:54, 4 July 2016 (UTC)
  • The hook was pulled shortly after Cwmhiraeth's promotion to Prep 2 by Coffee, who on the DYK talk page noted that it simply isn't backed up by the sourcing. I've struck the hook, which also seems to have been contrary to DYK rule WP:DYKSG#C6: If the subject is a work of fiction or a fictional character, the hook must involve the real world in some way. A new hook will be needed. I'd also like to point out that while the GOCE edit has been started, it has not yet concluded: editor Miniapolis has put the "Working" tag on the request, and we shouldn't promoted this DYK until the copyedit has been completed. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:19, 4 July 2016 (UTC)
Alternative hooks:
  • Striking ALT1; it has the same general problems as the original hook that was pulled before the C6 issue was mooted. Removing duplicative "the" in ALT2. (Also fixing the formatting of the bold links; the original hook had it right.) BlueMoonset (talk) 00:01, 5 July 2016 (UTC)
  • Good to know, Random86. Thanks. I've adjusted the hooks accordingly, including ALT6; the double quotes should be outside the bolding per WP:LEAD. I also added "that" to both ALT5 and ALT6. Finally, I've fixed the article, which incorrectly bolded the double quotes. BlueMoonset (talk) 14:27, 6 July 2016 (UTC)

"Comment The text that supports ALT6 is "playing the violin to make people happy or sad as Matuya laughs and cries into the instrument" 7&6=thirteen (☎) 13:15, 6 July 2016 (UTC)

  • New reviewer needed now that new hooks have been proposed and the GOCE edit has concluded. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:51, 6 July 2016 (UTC)
  • This is nearly there, I believe. Article is new enough, long enough, and neutrally written. No copyvios that I can find. The article is well sourced, it would seem. Couple of minor points; of all the hooks, I much prefer ALT6, as being the easiest to understand, and the most clearly supported by the text in the article. However, I would prefer that an editor who speaks German check the source, and duplicate it for that particular sentence. Additionally, I don't think the image can be used, as it's not directly related, and so there's no easy way to work it into the hook. Andrew, since you've been over this once already, perhaps you could take a look? If you're unable, I will try and find somebody else. Vanamonde93 (talk) 13:20, 17 July 2016 (UTC)
    • After a discussion on the German-speakers noticeboard, I have decided to pass this based on AGF for the hook source. In my view ALT5 and ALT6 are the only hooks that are clear and interesting enough for the main page. Vanamonde93 (talk) 09:24, 22 July 2016 (UTC)
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