User talk:Mr. Gerbear/Archive 5

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ProjectEurovision Monthly Newsletter - January 2014

Project Eurovision monthly						Issue XXXVIII

Click icon to view full edition		Headlines Farid Hasanov won Türkvizyon Song Contest 2013 for Azerbaijan Malta to host Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2014.

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A cup of tea for you!

Thank you for taking the initiative and for making peace with Wesley. That was very diligent of you and I want you to know that it is greatly appreciated. Please take this cup of tea as my gratitude. CT Cooper · talk 20:22, 31 January 2014 (UTC)

Thanks, but I don't need recognition for what's expected of every decent human. Although I really wish he had owned up to his (much more grave) mistakes as well, but whatever. I've let it go. Mr. Gerbear|Talk 00:11, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

What am I suppose to be owning up to? Would one care to enlighten me? And the reason I've not got round to sending any apologies out yet, is because I was waiting for the ideal time to do it. Allowing the dust to settle, and finding the most heartfelt words to use. Although it is not easy dealing with that as well as hectic real-life schedules lately. I'm working hard around here, sorting out wedding arrangements, and trying to balance my bodyclock that keeps switching from Eastern Time Zone (where my fiancé is from), Greenwich Mean Time (where I am from), and Afghanistan Time Zone (where my fiancé is currently on deployment). So naturally I'm in a tiresome grumpy state too, not an excuse for some of my behaviour I know, but when people start to poke at me with sly comments then they should be expected to be bitten in return. If one plays with fire, one will get burn. Wes Mᴥuse 01:23, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

This, in particular, which you had claimed not to be about Pickette here when it obviously is, as well as saying I had used insults against you.

If you are feeling particularly stressed out in real life, please consider take some time off for yourself from Wikipedia. I understand you're going through a lot of changes in your life right now, and it might be better for everyone's sake, including yourself, to take a break. It would be extremely better for the WikiProject if everyone carries on editing with a clear mind and an environment free of conflict. I know you understand how Wikipedia works; you should know that you're not supposed to bite people whether you think they deserve it or not. Mr. Gerbear|Talk 01:38, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

I'm waiting for a peer review to be done on New Year's Eve in London. And I don't feel the need to take timeout just yet, although I have been having semi-days off, if that makes any sense. And thank you for enlightening me with those links. They were things said in sudden burst of anger. You know when people just snap and say something to be spiteful. Venting off anger I think is another term for it. As for biting. I must disagree to some extent. No it is not right to bite back, but when one gets bitten several times and uncalled for at that, then the pressure is bound to mount up and explode. I never mince my words, and have always said things as I see it, even if the truth hurts some people. The way I see it, if people are willingly going to dish out insults, then they should expect to receive some back. If people can't take it, they shouldn't give it out in the first place. We're all adults and thick-skinned. Water off a ducks back, to me. Out of curiosity, how long does a peer review normally take? Wes Mᴥuse 01:47, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

And I do regret making those remarks, to be fair. But like with everything around here, we cannot erase the past it is all stored in history. If they hurt, I am sorry. I'm actually juggling things as I write this. Dealing with Wikipedia while chatting to my partner via skype while he's on deployment. Crazy I know, but we put ourselves in these situations. Wes Mᴥuse 01:57, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

Even if you're of the opinion that those who insult should expect to receive them back, that's not appropriate for Wikipedia at all. You do not want to drag yourself down to that level. If anything, keeping calm is the most effective way of getting them to stop. Also, in case things escalate, your rash actions may be taken against you; like as CT Cooper said, everyone in the discussion are good editors, and other admins might have handed out blocks. Staying cool is key. You never want to shoot yourself in the foot. :)

As for peer review, I've never been involved in one myself, but the time it takes seems to depend on how important or interesting the article is. Shouldn't take too long.

I do understand what you're going through to some extent. My sister's in the army, and she's being deployed in just a couple of days. It's hard to keep cool, but we can only try to do our best. My regards to both of you. :) Mr. Gerbear|Talk 02:04, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

Mr. Gerbear, I hope you don't mind me posting here and if you feel it's inappropriate please remove it but I just wanted to say that I really didn't want to fight with anyone and I thought Wesley and I were getting along just fine before this happened. I apologize to everyone for my behaviour but I honestly felt provoked and taunted by Wesley and BabbaQ. I know that doesn't justify my behaviour and in the future should a similar situation arise (hopefully not), I will react differently to avoid such a mess. And while I extend an apology to Wesley (recognizing that I'm not blameless), I feel like I deserve one as well because while the comments on the Matmuja article were one thing, mocking me on other user's pages is really uncalled for. I'm a grown-up and comments on the internet don't hurt me or make me cry, but I'd prefer if someone has a problem with me, to come to my talk page and resolve it there. Please understand that I really don't like when things like this happen at all. It just makes coming here frustrating since we all cross paths continuously and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels that way. Pickette (talk) 02:44, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

To be fair, I felt the taunting came from yourself at first, Pickette. But that is water under the bridge now. Life goes on, and if we cannot let bygones be bygones, then we're just going to be getting ourselves into repeated messes like that again. Yes I am a fair person, but when I feel taunted and heckled I will defend myself, even if it means hurting myself and others who get in my path. It's one of my traits that will never change. I suppose one could call it a defence mechanism. I was a placid person around here once upon a time, but I was once told some pearl's of wisdom by an admin a year ago, who said that this place is not as sweet and pretty as we might wish it to be, and that if we're to survive that we would also have to attain a thick-skin. We will come into conflicts, uncivil words will get exchanged, but it's how we handle the situation that makes us the person we are. I accept your extended apology, and if you noticed above, I said say "sorry" in general for the remark that Gerbear enlightened me to. I assumed everyone, including yourself, would have seen that "sorry" as being to all involved. All I have ever sought is for us all to get along really well. Heated debates will happen, they are what makes a debate healthy. And like I said on my talk page, I felt my view was being dismissed purely because I had issues in trusting, especially with the number of times people have lied to me in the past. Wes Mᴥuse 02:56, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

Wesley, just like CT Cooper did with the Matmuja talk page, I think you and I should just start fresh and archive all the nastiness and never revisit that again (that sounded a bit corny/nerdy but the point is clear I hope, haha). In future debates, I promise to be more constructive in relaying my perspective and I think if a point comes where both of us are in total disagreement, we should both step away if things are verging on becoming personal. Also I want to spare Mr. Gerbear from constantly having to intervene and break up fights! :) Pickette (talk) 03:12, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

That did sound a bit corny, but gave me a chuckle nevertheless. As far as I know everything has been archived now. Although I'm not sure if Cooper would be willing to WP:REVDEL specific things so that they cannot be seen, or if it is even allowed under these circumstances. I'm a bit concerned about something else that I have just stumbled across on Wikipedia too, that could be on the verge of WP:OUTING, and to be honest I am now terrified at what I found. Wes Mᴥuse 03:20, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

I don't mind really but if you feel like you want it removed, I guess you can ask maybe? Hopefully the outing you've come across isn't too serious. Pickette (talk) 03:31, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

Thanks to Gerbear, he's advised me to email the WP:OVERSIGHT team. It is scary as the account that I stumbled upon holds details about the user who, well has the same name (forename and surname) as I will have in real-life upon the civil union with my partner. Freaky or what? Wes Mᴥuse 03:46, 1 February 2014 (UTC)

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