Talk:Agnez Mo

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Good article Agnez Mo has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
December 8, 2011 Good article nominee Listed

Origin[edit]

Isn't Agnes a Chinese Indonesian person? even though she was born in Indonesia, but.. is it true that her mother is a chinese? or her father maybe? Zeus din (talk) 10:55, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

So what? She has never made it a big deal. She's Indonesian citizen, born and live in Jakarta, and has Indonesian as her mother/native language. She can't speak Chinese, so she took Mandarin course. So what's the problem? Bluesatellite (talk) 00:09, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
Most of (Chinese) Indonesian people cannot speak Mandarin well even not at all mainly for who are more than 3rd generation. When the first ancestors came to Indonesia all of them are male who assimilated with the Native and many of their children and grand children marriage also with the Native, so although they have Chinese name might be in their blood is mostly Native. It is so difficult to know how many percent a person is Chinese or Native, except DNA test. So, all of us are Indonesian.Gsarwa (talk) 07:24, 18 April 2011 (UTC)
I have heard on the news that Agnes is of Chinese ancestry, and people of partial Chinese ancestry living outside the Greater China Area may also consider themselves Overseas Chinese. Hence, it is right to state that Agnes is a Chinese Indonesian. But of course, a cite is needed for every statement mentioned in Wikipedia. Awriterwrites (talk) 30 April 2011 (UTC)


I have seen this article is edited and re-edited because of this issue and I think I need to address this.
For those who want to remove this information from the article:
This is a biography and has to mention every aspect of the person being discussed. Like it or not, Agnes Monica is an Indonesian and ALSO a Chinese descent. Stating that she is a Chinese descent doesn't make her less Indonesian. Unless this information is incorrect, it shouldn't be removed. Awriterwrites (talk) 04:23, 22 January 2012 (UTC)

D#7?[edit]

More like D#6. 04:52, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

Yaa..that's a D#6 I think, don't be exaggerated I bet she can't even hit D#7 — Preceding unsigned comment added by 206.53.152.102 (talk) 09:17, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
Since there is no citation for this, I removed the statement.Awriterwrites (talk) 13:39, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

Violation use of copyrighted images[edit]

All the pictures used before were suddenly gone due to copyright violation. I have uploaded new pictures with the consent from the copyright owner. Awriterwrites (talk) 14:53, 9 June 2011 (UTC)

The picture is a good adition to the article. Meatsgains (talk) 02:29, 4 November 2011 (UTC)

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Agnes Monica/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 12:03, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

  • I will be doing the review. For disclosure, I am a member of WikiProject Indonesia but have not been involved in the writing of this article (I don't think I've ever edited it). That aside, I have several of her CDs and can read Indonesian at a near-native level, so I should be able to check the references better than most reviewers. This review will probably take a couple days. Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:03, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

Checklist[edit]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well written:
1a. the prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct. Needs a through proofreading before being checked. I'll ask at the Guild of copy editors Looks good after a thorough copyedit.
1b. it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. Good.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. See below Fixed.
2b. all in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines. Good
2c. it contains no original research. Good
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. See below Fixed.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). Good
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. See below Fixed during copyedit.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Stable within definition
6. Illustrated, if possible, by images:
6a. images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content. Fine
6b. images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. Fine
7. Overall assessment. Pending

Comments[edit]

Before the review
  • This looks like it was translated from the featured article on Id-Wiki. As reference styles are different on En-Wiki, you may need to fix them up.
1a
  • I've requested a copyedit from the Guild. If no copyedit is forthcoming within 2 weeks I will try and do so myself. The grammar used cannot pass the GAC as-is.
  • Double check which names actually have articles. I've linked Melly Goeslaw and Dewiq already.
  • Standardize your wikilinking of countries. They generally don't need it, though.
2a
  • Reference formatting is
  1. Irregular. Choose a format and stick with it.
  2. Don't forget the language parameter for foreign-language sources, as well as the original language title and translated title. For example, FN2 should look something like this:

"Generasi Oksigen Petai Cina" [The Chinese Petai Oxygen Generation]. Gatra (in Indonesian). 2002-08-21. Retrieved 2011-06-05. 

  • Footnote 1 needs the work as well. Also, it's not at the URL anymore, may be dead. If you can, try and find another reference that supports it. The dead URLs are why I gave up on translating Krisdayanti after the lede.
  • Wikipedia is not a reliable source. I've started removing it where cited.
3a
  • What are her parents' names? We know they are athletes, we should easily be able to find the names of the parents. (Try TokohIndonesia.com, they usually have it).
  • When was Si Meong released?
  • Generally, for foreign singers I try to supply translations of the album titles. For example, Jurang Pemisah has a translation of the title to assist readers. Same thing goes for articles like Titiek Puspa and Bing Slamet. You may want to do it here. For example, Si Meong (The Cat). Same goes for the sinetron.
  • "Best Children's Album" -- As selected by whom?
  • IDEC is ...? DEA as in the American Drug Enforcement Administration, or...?
4
  • Careful with your adjectives. For example:
  1. "Her role in the soap opera Pernikahan Dini rocketed her name in the showbiz industry."
  2. "... at the tender age of six, ..."
  • Hold for at least two weeks. Please ensure that you try and address criteria 2a and 3a as soon as possible. Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:00, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
My comments on the review
2a.
I have fixed the reference format and added the language parameter.
3a.
  • The name of her parents have been mentioned in the article. The information about her parents have also been added.
  • Translation of the song and film titles is a good addition, but I don't think it is necessary to get a good article status. Even a featured article on Celine Dion doesn't provide the translation for her French Albums :)
  • I couldn't find who selected her album as Best Children's Album. It's not mentioned in The Jakarta Post's article. I couldn't find any information about that either on the web. I'll try to search about it again later
  • DEA as in America's Drug Enforcement Administration. I have added the information and citation too for this.
4
I'm not sure whether it is due to variations of English, but my Longman Dictionary says that "at the tender age of something" is a correct English phrase. Anyway, since it has been changed, it doesn't matter anymore :)
Awriterwrites (talk) 10:37, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
  • "Tender age" is an acceptable phrasing in day-to-day writing, but is not encyclopedic. As I mentioned earlier, there are three dead links in the article. I have tagged them. I am also going to get rid of the DABs. Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:59, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
  • ALso, when was Si Meong released? Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:03, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Thank you for your explanation about "Tender age".
  • Sorry, I forgot to mention that I have checked every link works while fixing the format. I have already removed those three links from the article and replaced them with new links.
  • The release date of "Si Meong" has been added.
Awriterwrites (talk) 02:00, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Okay, that explains why the dates weren't tagging. For Si Meong, the body of the text says 1994 but the discography says 1992. Which is correct? Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:54, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Reference 58 needs more details (work, date)
Paraphrasing checks
  • 1 Fine, only stuff that shows up is titles of awards and things which cannot easily be reworded.
  • 2 -- More titles
  • Influences also shows no close paraphrasing.

That does it. Congratulations! Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:28, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

  • Wow, thank you. Btw, I have tried to search about the release date of Si Meong, but couldn't find a reliable source. Some websites say '1992', others say '1994'. But judging from when she started her career (at 6 years old), I conclude the right year is 1992 (since she was born in 1986). Awriterwrites (talk) 08:24, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
  • I notice that the article is still rated as C-Class in WikiProject Biography and WikiProject Indonesia. Can I change the rating to GA or should I go through other assessment procedure? Awriterwrites (talk) 09:08, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Hmm, I thought that was automatic. We'll give the bot some time. If it doesn't do anything, I'll change it. Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:20, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

Prose issues[edit]

  • I was just looking at the lead, and noticed this sentence: "Following her rising popularity after starring in few series of soap operas, she became the highest-paid teenage artist." Was she the highest-paid teenage artist in the world? In Asia? In Indonesia? I was going to tag it with a where tag, but I find those tags so obnoxious so I figured I'd ask here. Oh well, getting prose cleaned up to GA standards is hard for native speakers sometimes--so don't get discouraged. Mark Arsten (talk) 02:57, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • In Indonesia (says so a little further down). Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:16, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Also, I just saw this: "Consequently, her slogan "Dream, Believe, and Make it Happen" was used as the campaign for the US Embassy's 2011 cultural conference to inspire young people." I assume it was the U.S. Embassy in Jakarta? You might want to specify though. Mark Arsten (talk) 03:05, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Right, US Embassy in Jakarta (reference is to that embassy). Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:16, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • I noticed that throughout the article she is referred to as "Agnes". Generally in Wikipedia articles subjects are referred to by their family name throughout the article, see Britney Spears for instance. Do Indonesia names put the family name first? Mark Arsten (talk) 03:14, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Interesting, I was not aware of that. Mark Arsten (talk) 16:55, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Agnes Monica has a family name, "Muljoto" (from her father's name, Ricky Muljoto). However, she is only known as Agnes Monica in Indonesia. It can also be considered as her stage name.Awriterwrites (talk) 11:20, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Per 'The Jakarta Post's articles, I think we should stick with Agnes. Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:17, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
  • "Both of her parents were former Indonesian athletes." More detail might be nice here, which sport? Were they on the National team? Mark Arsten (talk) 03:33, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • I've requested the same at the nomination page. Thanks for taking a look at this. Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:16, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Is Pernikahan Dini an ongoing TV series or one film? It's a little unclear to me. Mark Arsten (talk) 03:40, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
  • CMIIW. "University of" is always followed by a region/place name. For example: University of Washington. If my understanding is correct, "Universitas Pelita Harapan" shouldn't be translated as "University of Pelita Harapan". "Pelita Harapan" is not a region name. It should be translated as "Pelita Harapan University" or referred as original, "Universitas Pelita Harapan", as in their official website Awriterwrites (talk) 11:18, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
  • I think that's a good idea. Go with Pelita Harapan University. Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:19, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

Copy-edit by the Guild of Copy Editors[edit]

I've started on this and will post question/comments here as I come across them. Zoë Alkaia 01:54, 30 December 2011 (UTC)

  • The lede and the body note that she was appointed ambassador for two anti-trafficking organizations, but there is no information as to why she was chosen.
  • What does Si Meong mean?
  • This source is used four times. It's about her wanting to become a screen writer, but that's no mentioned of that in the article, at least not that I see. I think this source has been mistakenly used in place of another, so I'm correcting that. The information from this source should probably be included, though.
  • Has a separate section for "Early life" been considered? It would include all of her non-career milestones, such as the schools she attended, allowing the career section to focus solely on her career.
  • The YouTube video for ""Matahariku" was used as a reference for the claim "...the most-watched music video starring a female Indonesian on YouTube". First problem, we don't use YouTube videos unless they're officially posted by the copyright holder. As it is, this was a copyright violation. Problem two, it isn't a source for that claim. That video may very well have more views than any other female Indonesian artist, but it's synthesis to draw that conclusion when it isn't explicitly stated. The link has been removed and the claim hidden.
  • Also, the sentence "She also guest starred in the finale of Asian Idol on 16 December 2007, and performed the song "Get Up"." used a copyright vio YouTube link for a reference. This sentence needs a reliable source.
  • This source talks about piracy issues and her negative reaction to them. This seems like very relevant information that should be included. Unfortunately, the translation is very poor, so I'm not comfortable attempting to write the information myself. If someone can get the details down in English, I can copy-edit that.
  • For "earning her the "Million Awards" award from Indonesian KFC", is this a reference to Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because that's where the link goes and what American readers will automatically have come to mind! I'm assuming it's probably something else.
  • I think it would be good to add the years in the "Presenter" section.
  • Is there no information on her personal life as far as relationships?

I think that's all I've got. Zoë Alkaia 04:21, 30 December 2011 (UTC)

  • It seems awriterwrites has been busy since this passed GA three weeks ago, as I don't remember any youtube links in the version I reviewed. KFC in the source does refer to the "finger lickin' good" chain, which has been in Indonesia for more than 20 years and is known for sponsoring singers like Ahmad Dhani. Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:08, 30 December 2011 (UTC)
As for Si Meong, it literally means "The Cat". I suggested that awriterwrites include translations of album titles like I did at Gita Gutawa, but... Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:11, 30 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Sorry for my late reply. I haven't checked this article for ages :)
1. I can't find any source stating why she was chosen, but I think it was because she is one of the biggest stars in Indonesia.
2. Si Meong is The Cat. I didn't add it because I think it isn't necessary. You are free to add, if you want :)
3. I can't find this sourceeven in the old revision (before copy edit). Anyway, it shouldn't be used.
4. I would like to expand the "Early Life" section, however I don't have any more information to expand that. Any suggestion?
5. I agree with you that we shouldn't draw a conclusion from the number of views on YouTube :)
6. Do you mean: I can't use YouTube video to prove that she performs at Asian Idol?
7. Ok, I'll include about the piracy issue in the article. I'll let you know when I'm done with it.
8. Yes, it is KFC, the Kentucky Fried Chicken :D
9. I'll think how I can come up with the "Presenter" section.
10. She is known for not disclosing any information about her personal relationship. There are many gossips about her personal relationships but many of them are not true, and she never bothers to clarify them. It is a challenging topic to write, but I'll see what I can find.
Awriterwrites (talk) 14:00, 17 January 2012 (UTC)

Critics & Respons[edit]

A few information she had quarrelled with Stacy Malaysian singer around 2010. Malaysian marked her as Arrogant celebrity from Indonesian. http://www.mygosip.com/stacy-dikasari-oleh-agnes-monica-semasa-sessi-fotografi/

Agnes is called by some community as Queen of Hoax. She often created news about her with international career with never happen with any collaboration with famous artist. http://showbiz.liputan6.com/read/576481/diane-warren-pilihkan-lagu-buat-agnes-monica http://www.kapanlagi.com/showbiz/selebriti/agnes-monica-belajar-bahasa-jepang-demi-proyek-albumnya-lgezcwn.html She often lies about collaboration with famous artist. http://www.kapanlagi.com/foto/berita-foto/indonesia/boyz-ii-men---agnes-monica.html

Agnes as celebrity with wrong costume. she often does that. http://www.tempo.co/read/news/2014/01/07/219542773/Satu-Lagi-Penampilan-Saltum-Agnes-Monica http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXyQjc0nCuY http://lifestyle.okezone.com/read/2013/02/21/29/765597/penampilan-agnes-monica-di-grammy-dianggap-norak http://showbiz.liputan6.com/read/763906/pakai-kutang-hitam-agnes-monica-taklukan-panggung-jepang

Fans of agnes of NIC often bully celebrities, who had critics agnes. Some fans give comments or advices. She and her fans marked them as Haters. http://www.pebriandika.com/2013/02/daftar-selebriti-yang-menyindir-agnes.html http://showbiz.liputan6.com/read/537895/bahas-go-international-anggun-sindir-agnes-monica

Queen of copycat. Everybody knows her talent, which is copycat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5kKiDz_KgA http://www.thetoptens.com/worst-singers-asia/agnes-monica-448278.asp http://www.firstpost.com/topic/person/agnes-monica-agnes-monica-copies-everything-from-beyonce-part-2-agnes-i-video-g5kKiDz_KgA-47900-6.html

She hates her country so much. She called her country. Country of Thief. http://flights.indonesiamatters.com/8863-airport-baggage-security/

Sorry most of news in Indonesian language. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 139.195.61.70 (talk) 07:11, 19 January 2014 (UTC)

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