Al MacAfee – A parody of Joe Louis Clark, David Alan Grier plays a strict, yet clueless shop teacher with a bad hip. He is known for working as a Hall Monitor and using a bullhorn to yell at innocent students and teachers, while being oblivious to bad things going on around him, as well as the consistent rejection by a fellow female teacher (played by Kim Wayans), with whom he is infatuated. Various cast members portray students and teachers who put up with Mr. MacAfee.
Andrea Dice Clay – Kelly Coffield portrays the female counterpart of raunchy, wise-guy comedian Andrew Dice Clay. With sayings like "Ya think that's easy to do when you're stacked like this?" and "The last time I saw something like that, it had an eraser at the end of it."
Arsenio Hall – The former late-night talk show host is played by Keenen Ivory Wayans, complete with a long index finger and prosthetic rear end. Many of Hall's mannerisms are incorporated into the sketches, including his riotous laugh and dance and the phrases "I haven't seen it yet, but my people tell me..." and "strive to be number one." Hall is also portrayed as being obsessed with his Coming to America co-star and friend, Eddie Murphy.
Mr. and Ms. Brooks – Kim Wayans and David Alan Grier play a seemingly loving elderly couple who constantly insult and attempt to kill each other. After numerous failed attempts, they resort to attacking each other, such as when Ms. Brooks realizes her husband had laid a trap for her and she pulls out a sword and says "Prepare to Enter the Dragon!", prompting Mr. Brooks to reply "The only thing I see draggin' around here is your saggy breasts!" Their old age causes them to fall to the ground and be unable to get up, when they are interrupted by someone who is under the impression they are about to engage in sexual intercourse. They usually end with "And we stiiiiilll together!"
Benita Butrell – Kim Wayans portrays a neighborhood woman who breaks the fourth wall by gossiping directly to the viewer and airing her neighbors' dirty laundry after they pass by her...but she "ain't one to gossip, so you didn't hear that from me." She claims to be very close to a "Miss Jenkins", who ironically is usually the target of her most vicious gossip.
The Brothers Brothers – Two brothers both named Tom Brothers (Damon and Keenen Ivory Wayans) sang just like the Smothers Brothers (who actually lent their uncredited singing voices) and apparently don't realize they are black. Some episodes included their double dating, or applying for a country club, failing to see it has a clandestine white only policy. (However, they are admitted as the club hierarchy feels the Brothers Brothers actually fit in well and could get the discrimination suit dropped against the club.)
Background Guy – Jim Carrey plays a guy who does wacky funny stuff while news anchors are doing serious news commentaries. In one sketch he was a football player doing goofy antics while sports anchors are doing the halftime report during the Super Bowl; in another that featured the White HousePress Secretary, he was doing even more bizarre things such as joining in a kickline of can-can dancers or recreating George Washington crossing the Delaware River.
Calhoun Tubbs – David Alan Grier portrays an old bluesman whose songs invariably insult or otherwise offend his audience. Catchphrase: "I wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go!" His catchphrase was also used as the intro to En Vogue's "Free Your Mind". He also always strums the same bar of blues and ends his little songs with a falsetto "Ahhhhahaha", and concludes with "Thank you very much!". He once claims to have written over 12,000 songs (none of which are over 13 seconds long), and sold more records than Michael Jackson and the Beatles in upper New Jersey. David Alan Grier based the character on the famed Ann Arbor, Michigan personality "Shakey Jake" Woods, with whom he was familiar from his days at the University of Michigan.
Candy Cane – Alexandra Wentworth portrays a host to a children's television show. Candy has serious adult issues that she brings up on the would-be kiddie show, such as getting stood up on dates and men who had sex with her and never called her back. However, she still manages to smile and present the show like a female Mr. Rogers. Marc Wilmore appears as 'Jurassic Benny' a purple dinosaur (obviously a reference to the famous Barney from Barney & Friends). Candy loves him and Benny often rejects her on camera, then she gets angry and calls him out for him leaving after they've had their most recent affair off screen, to where the actor pulls off the mask and tells her to leave him alone.
Carl "The Tooth" Williams – Jamie Foxx portrays a boxer a la Mike Tyson who has lost every bout he's been in. He is always getting beaten up by everyone he comes in contact with. One commentary said he looks like "a Ringling Brothers clown that got run over by a truck". The name is a takeoff on heavyweight boxer Carl "The Truth" Williams. Catchphrase: "Hollerin' 187 wit' my glove in ya mouth" is paraphrased from a line by Snoop Dogg in the Dr. Dre single: "Dre Day" One distinct physical characteristic of Carl's besides his prominent tooth, is his jheri curl.
Cephus and Reesie – Kim Wayans and David Alan Grier play a pair of incredibly annoying soul singers, modeled slightly after Ashford & Simpson. Episodes with Cephus and Reesie included them mistakingly performing at a Bar Mitzvah, an advertisement for an album of theirs, which is eight CDs long due to them breaking songs such as "Silent Night" by one of them asking "If it was a silent now how could it have been a holy night?", and an episode where they sing an extended rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" for a Death Row convict (Jim Carrey) who (regrettably) is granted his last wish to hear some live soul music before he dies that very night. Cephus and Reesie were also said to have jammed with Frenchie.
Cheap Pete – Chris Rock (when he guest starred during the final season) as a cheapskate who won't pay more than $1.25 for anything. His catchphrase is "Good Lord that's a lot of money!" The Cheap Pete character is based on and originated from a bit part Rock played in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. Cheap Pete was also featured in Rock's film "CB4".
Ace and Main Man – Jamie Foxx and Tommy Davidson play of a pair of bouncers who never seem to let anyone in the club that should be let in, because they don't think it's that person. Often enough, they run into the featured celebrity (Johnny Gill, Tupac Shakur, and others) and proceed to deny them (for the same reasons) to the point where a fight is about to break out. Then, when their boss (or news reporters covering the event) comes out, Tommy's hyper-active character flipps on Jamie's character, leaving Jamie to humiliation, and Tommy's character going into the club, only to be immediately kicked out himself.
"The Dirty Dozens" – Stu Dunfy (Nick Bakay) hosts a game show that is a cross between Jeopardy! and Concentration in which contestants are involved in a battle of insults. Two of the contestants that appear in almost every "Dozens" skit include returning champion T-Dog Jenkins (Jamie Foxx) and unlucky-with-categories contestant Amfeny Clark (Reggie McFadden). Variations include Family Dozens and Wheel of Dozens. In one episode, Ed O'Neill guest starred as himself, the all-time greatest champion on the show.
Duke and Cornbread Turner – Jamie Foxx plays a senior citizen named Cornbread who performs tricks with his dead German shepherd named Duke (whom he believes to be still alive). In one skit Duke was shown to be the father of a litter of puppies (also deceased). In another sketch it is revealed that Duke's real name is Jeremy Jolly RancherRemington Steele Lewy Cadburry the 3rd to the 4th power. A running gag features Cornbread mistaking people he meets for children who died in tragic accidents. His catchphrase is "I'll be John Brown".
"Dysfunctional Home Show" – An alcoholic, depressed, and incestuous man named Grandpa Jack McGee (Jim Carrey) hosts a housekeeping show, along with his promiscuous daughter (Alexandra Wentworth), her abusive boyfriend (Jamie Foxx), and Grandpa Jack's drunken, hateful mother (Kelly Coffield). Grandpa Jack also had a son who was not screwed up like the rest of the family, and had to guide him away from his drunken mistakes, such as Grandpa Jack starting to shadow box when he heard an oven timer, and the son yelling offstage that is not a boxing bell, but the chime of an oven. The trademark quip for this show is that Grandpa Jack would say "pork and beans" in a slurred tone (and then he would repeat it again by shouting it), as the family often dined on that particular dish.
Fire Marshal Bill Burns – Jim Carrey portrayed a masochistic (and supposedly immortal) fire marshal with a manic grin and scarred face whose safety advisories usually include demonstrating (on himself) the very disaster he's warning against. (Every sketch illustrates a timeline of readily-visible damage on Bill from previous episodes). Usually, the warnings are against ridiculous situations that would never come to pass, such as a crab people invasion or an outbreak of psychotic elves. Every sketch ends with Fire Marshal Bill blowing up the facility he's teaching at. Despite each sketch showing him lose parts of his body (in one sketch, only his head remained), Bill never died. Catchphrases included "Lemme show ya something!!", "Don't worry folks, I'm a Fire Marshal!" and "It can be very, very DTUHHH-DTUHHH ... DEADLY!" (In at least one sketch, the character's full name is given as Fire Marshal Bill Burns.)
Frenchie (Keenan Ivory Wayans) – An obnoxious, but happy-go-lucky "Partay Animal" with a flair for blending the fashion of the late 1970s with that of the early to mid-1980s (his attire consists of red platform shoes, a red pleather suit with yellow vinyl fringe, long jheri curls, sunglasses and gold chains). Frenchie somewhat resembles Rick James and seems to turn all events, even an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, into parties. Frenchie says he owns an AMC Gremlin that has had a car boot on it for a long time. He also claims to have jammed with Cephus and Reesie. His catchphrase is "... 'Cause I'm hip, I'm slick, and all the women love my (fill in the blank)". In fact, on Frenchie's second appearance in which he toasts a friend's bachelor party, he did say towards the end of the skit – "...'Cause I'm hip, I'm slick and all the women love my – ...y'all fill it in."
Funky Finger Productions ("Black-Strong" also called "B.S. Brothers") – Two showbiz charlatans, Clavell (played by David Alan Grier) and Howard Tibbs III (played by Tommy Davidson), with a knack for commandeering events (a funeral, a Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony) and property (a movie set), both public and private, or Keenan Ivory Wayans' monologue, to promote their latest flim-flam "project". The would-be moguls enter by shouting "this must be the place!" in unison. They claim to have managed a band of 16 horn players called "Satern", but later had to fire ten horns. From there, they undermine their grandiose pitches with ill-conceived videos, business cards with their mothers' address and telephone number, or business cards of other businesses such as carpet cleaners with the proper business crossed out and their names written on it, and reliance on public transportation. Another stunt was for one of them to have their phone number shaved into their hair, which quickly turned into a basketballafro. Their spiel invariably climaxes when Tibbs stuns the unsuspecting mark by suddenly pulling out an item integral to the sales pitch (e.g., business card, sales brochure, videocassette) while simultaneously shouting "BAM!".
Great Moments in Black History – Either Tommy Davidson or David Alan Grier, in a quasi-serious tone of voice, narrates reenactments of dubious moments in African-American history. Examples include the accidental invention of the jheri curl (when motor oil leaked on a Jiffy Lube worker's large afro during an oil change), the first Def Comedy Jam (where a man resembling Martin Lawrence, played by Foxx, while putting up a banner, accidentally hit his hand and started cursing, much to the audience's delight), the first party DJ (a man named Ho accidentally bumps into a record player and scratches the record), the first black astronaut to be abandoned on the Moon, and the advent of the self-serve gas station, where a rude service station worker yells to a customer "Get it yo' damn self!"
"Homey the Clown" redirects here. For the Simpsons episode, see Homie the Clown.
Homey D. Clown – Damon Wayans plays an ex-con who works as a clown (real name Herman Simpson) for his parole agreement, but lashes out at anyone (usually by hitting them on the head with a sock full of pennies) who attempts to make him perform the standard antics of the role - "I don't think so... Homey don't play dat!". His goal in life is to get even with "The Man", a personification of the white males that are "holding him down". Near the end of most sketches, Homey would lead a group of children (played by the cast members) in a call and response sing-along, which would end with him degenerating into a rant, then intimidating the children into repeating after him. Homey was also the first, and only, In Living Color character to get his own video game.
Handi Man – Damon Wayans portrays a handicappedsuperhero (possessing super-strength, flight, invulnerability and several other powers), who sometimes has a midget sidekick (Tiny Avenger, played by Debbie Lee Carrington). He attempts to foil villains, between bouts of uncontrollable drooling. Major villains include Angry Woman and Doctor Naughty; the former has attempted to eliminate Handi Man and the Tiny Avenger, or kidnap a ballerina to steal her dancing abilities, while the latter is a villain who hates handicapped people and sees Handi Man as his main adversary. Doctor Naughty concocted plans such as making an evil robot double of Handi-Man to simultaneously destroy Handi-Man's good name and rob from the March of Dimes vault, or using an attractive female nurse to seduce Handi-Man into wearing "kripple-nite" and rendering him powerless. His secret identity was "Clark Bent," (a play on Superman's secret identity Clark Kent) a mail courier at the Daily Glove newspaper. It was one of the sketches that generated a large amount of controversy for the show due to the spoofing of those with disabilities, but remains one of the best known sketches of the show.
Head Detective – Damon Wayans portrays a police detective who, due to a horrific accident, is merely a head attached to a pair of feet and tiny hands and appearing similar to Mr. Potato Head. Along with his full-bodied partner (played by Keenen Ivory or Marlon Wayans), he solves crimes, often catching the perpetrators by being thrown, kicked, or bowled toward them.
Hey Mon – Damon Wayans heads the hard-working West Indian Hedley family, each with many careers. With his "lazy good-for-nothing" son (Tommy Davidson) who wears traditional dreadlocks, they find nothing more appalling than meeting people with two or fewer jobs (including small children), regardless of how much money they make in those one or two jobs. Some sketches would show the family owning their own business, such as a hospital or an airline, with a joke being that multiple responsibilities would all be filled by the family members. A sketch would usually end with the family breaking the fourth wall and yelling to the viewer "Hey mon, got to go to work!", as calypso music ends the sketch.
Homeboy Shopping Network – Two streetwise pitchmen named Whiz and Iceman (Damon and Keenen Ivory Wayans) use a QVC-style approach to sell stolen goods. The phrase "Mo' Money, Mo' Money!" was coined in this sketch (even though Wayans originally said this on a Weekend Update segment on Saturday Night Live back when he was a feature player in the 1985-1986 season). The time limit imposed on sales was typically due to the impending arrival of the police. The concept was created by Howard Kuperberg, one of the show's original writers.
Lashawn – T'Keyah Crystal Keymáh plays various customer service jobs, giving major ghetto sassy attitude to the customers. The clips always end with her leaving for her lunch break, usually leaving the customer hanging. She was sometimes accompanied by a goofball who would always claim he had experience from being with "me and Larry", but would screw up simple tasks, such as burning a hamburger and saying "I got experience in a striped grill, not one that is flat!"
Les and Wes – Damon and Keenen Ivory Wayans portray a pair of conjoined twins attached at the side. Wes is a celebrity, while Les is not, often having a job unrelated to Wes'.
Men on... (Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier) – In this parody of Siskel & Ebert, a pair of extremely effeminate gay men, Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather, review films completely based on their potential for homoerotic content. Variations of this sketch include Men on Books, Men on Television, Men on Fitness, Men on Vacation, Men on Art, Men on Football and Men on Men. It was the source of many popular catchphrases such as, "Hated It!" (used for any film/book/program centered on one or more female characters), "Fish!", "My second favorite form of liquid protein", "Three words—fa - bu - lous!" and "the yet unheard of Zorro snap, in Z formation!" (Nearly every episode featured some variation of their "two snaps up" finger-snap gesture of approval.) In a two-part season-ending cliffhanger sketch, Blaine gets hit on the head by a stage light and gets a sort of amnesia, making him straight and conventionally "macho"; Antoine tries to restore his normal personality by hitting him in the head with a frying pan and a cinder block, both of which failed. His personality is only restored after being hit in the face by Antoine. The characters were resurrected for an episode of SNL hosted by Damon Wayans, and again when David Alan Grier hosted SNL. The theme song to the pair's "show" was "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls.
Oswald Bates – Damon Wayans plays an eloquent prison inmate whose vocabulary is full of malapropisms, more often than not misusing anatomical terms and words for bodily functions. "Unfortunately, we could not impregnate everyone. It is simply beyond our colonic threshold." "I believe it was Plato ... No, excuse me, I mean Play-Doh ... who stuck to the wall when he said one must not put one's transvestite in jeopardy if one is to become a cunning linguist".
Overly Confident Gay Man – Jim Carrey portrays a gay man who recently came out of the closet, and wants everybody to know it.
Richard Pryor – Damon Wayans impersonates Richard Pryor, specifically the exaggerated nervous energy he was known for in his comedies such as Superman III and The Toy, by showing Pryor in his kitchen preparing a bowl of cereal while expressing concern that something bad was about to happen. Pryor was making comments such as "Oh no!" and his known facial expressions when he was sent on a wild slapstick stunt. A narrator says "Richard Pryor is Scared for No Reason"!
Seamus O'Shanty O'Shame (a.k.a. The Depressed Irish Singer) – In the fifth and final season, Jay Leggett was one of the only new cast players to be given the opportunity to provide a new regular character to the show. In his case, Seamus was somewhat of a white counterpart to David Alan Grier's "Calhoun Tubbs" character, whereas he would sing songs that had a shock value by the end of the song. Seamus O'Shanty O'Shame is a quintessential "rogue" Irish man with a heavy accent who sings with an acoustic guitar, usually in front of groups of people who are part of social service programs, but is later found out to be an escaped mental patient running from the facility to which he belongs. Unlike Calhoun Tubbs, Seamus' songs were not as short, nor did they have a catchy sendoff. Instead, Seamus (pronounced Shay-mus) would lead into his songs with an introduction (saying "... and it goes something like this ..."), start off his songs in a beautiful mood, and then conclude them with graphic depictions of injury and death, usually ending it off with "... and he died!" or "That's it!".
Snackin' Shack – Kim Wayans played an obnoxious, hard-of-hearing waitress at a greasy spoon diner. Running gags included her giving patrons used water and contaminated food, the chef (Tommy Davidson) announcing entrees that were never ordered, followed by hitting the desk bell in front of his counter and yelling "Pick it up!", and a homeless wino with Tourette syndrome played by David Alan Grier, who—with a consistent twitch in his eye(s)--would say very outrageous phrases (two of them: "Barney Rubble goes both ways!" and "Prince got a hairy booty!").
Sweet Tooth Jones – A send-up of blaxploitation films; Tommy Davidson plays a karate instructor with a balding Afro haircut who runs the "Hollywood School of Self-Defense", assisted by Sugar Bear (Marc Wilmore) and Queen Bee (Alexandra Wentworth), all of whom wear clothing from and speak slang of the 1970s, completely out of place with the people they are instructing. Running gags would include simulated the fight to knock out his assistant, but never really knowing how to actually fight. As he put it, "I am a fight choreographer!"
Tiny / Cellblock Entertainment TV – The prison sketches on In Living Color were never known by a particularly official name, but they always had a number of consistent inmates who bring their own depraved mindset to a television audience in the form of either a variety show or a game show. The regular inmates included "Jesus" (Tommy Davidson)—a Chicano who tends to be the host at all the televised events they have, a crazy, murder-obsessed psychopath named Charlie Magic (Jim Carrey), who was a parody of Charles Manson, and The Death Row Comic (Keenen Ivory Wayans), who was so dangerous, he always had to be isolated from the audience behind a steel door with only his mouth showing through a slide window at head level. The end of his routine always seemed to end with him being taken away to his death (whimpering with fear in the process), however he appears at least three times total. The standout prison character is Tiny, a convicted rapist (played by David Alan Grier) who always begins his sentences with "Uhh ... uhh ..." and always makes references to "a woman with big breasteses" instead of "breasts." If he would ever get out of control because of the orgasmic thought of the "breasteses", the nearest people would have to try and calm him down. One particular sketch which only involved Tiny was a pseudo TV ad for AT&T (which, in this case, bears an open-globe logo that somehow is supposed to emulate breasts). Half of the "ad" involves Tiny affecting his voice as if to represent "The National Bra Association" to ask a female prospect (whom he is apparently stalking) her bra size.
Velma Mulholland – Kelly Coffield is a woman who looks and acts in the style of film noir movies, earning her the nickname the "Film Noir Girl". As such, she always speaks in long hyperbole monologues. A physical characteristic is that she always appears in scratchy black and white, reminiscent of old film footage, while the world around her remains in color (an effect achieved through the use of chroma key, requiring Coffield to wear clothing and body paint of the same color with avoidance of the same color elsewhere on the set). A theme with each of her sketches is that she always finds herself in a situation involving a modern black man who is at odds over melodramatic takes on the most mundane of things.
Wanda – Jamie Foxx portrays Wanda Wayne, the ugliest woman in the world...so ugly, in fact, that no one wanted to be in the same room as her (in one episode, Dracula exposed himself to sunlight to get away from her). She supposedly is the long lost member of the group En Vogue but left because she was taking all of the men. One of these helpless individuals is often Tommy Davidson. In the final season of In Living Color, Wanda had a child out of wedlock and searched for the father of her child Wanda Jr., which ended with her chasing after Barry Bonds' limo driver, who she believed was the father. Trademark phrase: "I'm gon' rock yo world," "I'm red' to go!," "Hey fo' real do," "I got you," and "Don't make me get ugly!"
Why – A series of public service announcement themed sketches that asked a question that in and of itself was usually very intriguing, exemplified by the actors in an often exaggerated manner. For example, "Why do newscasters always attempt to sound ethnic when talking about stories dealing with Latinos? Why don't they do that with other ethnicities?" Another sketch, which lampooned Star Trek: The Next Generation, was then freeze framed into a "Why?" segment asking why black actors who play aliens on Star Trek look like they have feet or other body parts protruding from their heads, a likely reference to Worf.
All Up In The Family – A black version of the 1970s CBS sitcom, All in the Family, which showed a black conservative Archie Bunker commenting on the ridiculousness of 1990s fads to his wife Edith.
The 595 Club (a.k.a. The First Church Of Discount Sin) (infrequent) – Damon Wayans and Jim Carrey play worldly televangelists, respectively named Reverend Ed Cash and The Dr. Rev. Carl Pathos, who host a religious program and blatantly get viewers into buying forgiveness through salesmanship and blackmail. At the end of each skit, Pathos (who conjures the "spirit" of the classic televangelists in his voice) sings a closing song, often itself never having to do with God or their earlier subject matter of discussion. The title of the skit itself is a "discount" parody of The 700 Club.
Bob Jackson, Karate Instructor – Jim Carrey plays a karate instructor, who claims to be a former world champion, teaching a self-defense class for women. He proceeds to get stabbed twice accidentally by Kelly Coffield while attempting to show how to defend against a knife attack, and is eventually unmasked as a fake by the other students in the class.
The Buttmans – A family modeled after The Cosby Show characters, only they have buttocks on their foreheads. In one episode, their daughter brings home her boyfriend, Richard Dickerson, played by Jim Carrey, who has a very long nose that resembles a penis. The Buttmans fail to see the jokes directed at them, and in the episode where the daughter is dating, they comment on interracial relationships, rather than the fact his nose is uniquely shaped.
Dickie Peterson: Cherub of Justice – Jim Carrey plays a Guardian Angels reject who attempts to protect local businesses (and, in one sketch, a visiting off-camera President of the United States), but who usually causes more harm than he prevents.
Chris Rock For Anonymous Express – Shawn Wayans portrays comic Chris Rock. In the sketch, the character of Chris Rock says white people do not recognize him on Saturday Night Live. When a security guard asks Rock to leave the NBC studios, Rock shows his I.D. and the guard says he has never appeared on Saturday Night Live. One future SNL alumna, Molly Shannon, briefly appears as one of the visitors.
Ross Perot – Jim Carrey parodies Ross Perot by showing a program to the people of the NAACP a program acronymed SLAVE (Service Labor Asset Valuable Expenses) on the first episode of the fourth season. Another had Perot buying up airtime on all the channels and appearing in each one, until when the sketch ends and the usual showing of the Fly Girls dancing, Ross Perot is now the DJ of In Living Color.
Cousin Elsee – Kim Wayans plays an annoying and unattractive woman who bothers everyone she meets. In an episode which showed a funeral, she appears saying that this is her fourth funeral today, and that the last funeral was catered by Taco Bell.
Grace Jones – Kim Wayansparodies the actress as an extremely physical enthusiast of any activity (the sketch was not so much a spoof of Jones, but moreso her character Zula from the film Conan The Destroyer), whether be it fighting an alligator for her dinner or pro wrestling, while regularly asking "Do you find me sexy?". One parody involves the movie The Bodyguard in which Grace Jones plays the Whitney Houston character and Jim Carrey plays Kevin Costner complete with bad hair, and when Kevin Costner carries Whitney Houston off-stage in the original movie, the scene is reversed with Grace Jones carrying Frank Farmer off while singing "I Will Always Love You".
Home Alone Again (fictional preview) – A send-up of both the hit film and star Macaulay Culkin's friendship with singer Michael Jackson. Jonathan Taylor Thomas plays Culkin, who plays various pranks on Jackson (Tommy Davidson) who wants to come in and play with Culkin. The pranks include shooting him in the crotch and burning his hand and hair (reminiscent of a real-life injury Jackson sustained while filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984).
Hemorrhoid Patient – David Alan Grier is a patient who shows up at a hospital multiple times and is constantly in the care of Nurse Peggy (Anne-Marie Johnson) and is placed on a gurney and temporarily left unattended while leaning forward with his gown undone, leaving his hemorrhoid exposed for anyone to get a glance at it. One group of people were Japanese tourists who stood next to the hemorrhoid and got their pictures taken with it. Others like rambunctious children prodding at it, a heart patient whom laughed himself to death after seeing it, and was broadcast live for a local news channel. Cheap Pete (Chris Rock) makes a cameo and exclaims, "Good Lord, that's a might big hemorrhoid!".
I Love Laquita – Kim Wayans plays the title character in this hip-hop flavored but still black and white spoof of the groundbreaking TV show I Love Lucy. Here, Ricky (Jim Carrey) has invited a famous producer over, and Laquita, along with Ethel (Kelly Coffield), hopes to audition for the producer, but soon they run into a case of mistaken identity when a TV repairman comes over before the producer does. Another notable instance of the sketch involved a case of mistaken identity with Billy Dee Williams and Keenen Ivory Wayans, who imitated Williams.
Juicemania – Jim Carrey plays a surprisingly accurate impersonation of infomercial personality Jay Kordich, who uses an electric juicer to make juice from unlikely sources, such as garbage and soil.
King: The Early Years (one-time) – In a sketch introduced as part of a fictitious series of Great American Profiles, the narrator leads the audience to believe that Martin Luther King, Jr. got his start as a peacemaker between boys preparing to fight in a schoolyard ... until "King" is revealed as a younger Don King (Damon Wayans), complete with his iconic hairdo, who promotes the fight and even instigates it. References are also made to boxers Leon Spinks and Gerry Cooney, as well as Robin Givens, ex-wife of Mike Tyson.
Lamont Hightower – (David Alan Grier) A flamboyant host presents televised events and programs celebrating black underachievement and the perpetuation of stereotypes, for example television awards for typecast characters such as "sassy neighbors" and "scared brothers on police shows". Another time Lamost hosted a "Miss Black USA" pageant hosted by a ghetto area of an unnamed city.
Lassie '90 – A mother (Kelly Coffield) and her son (James Carrey) own a pit bull. When they get into trouble they ask their faithful companion to get them something needed to extricate themselves from the situation. The dog soon returns with the desired item, albeit still held by the severed arm of the original owner.
The Last Orphan – David portrays a 35-year old orphan, who never was adopted. He reveals that he is a graduate of the Yale University Acting School. When a couple tells him he is crazy, he comments "My ex-wife told me the same thing", indicating that he has adjusted to adult life but somehow feels his life is incomplete because he grew up without parents.
Lil' Magic – Features Kim Wayans as a very tall girl without talent who always auditions for talent shows, accompanied by her overzealous stage mother, played by David Alan Grier (who is not much in drag as he retains his normal voice and does not wear makeup, which added to the comedy). Her common phrase was "I'm Miss Smile Bright 1987!" Then she makes a big smile. On certain occasions where she did achieve moderate success, she would revel in the newfound wealth with comments such as "Gee, Mama, maybe you can get the liposuction for your butt!" or "Gosh, Mama, maybe now you can get that other breast implant!", prompting the stage mother to reply "Lil' Magic, shut up!"
The New Fly Girls – On the May 12, 1991 broadcast, in the opening dance routine right after the credits, Kim Wayans, T'Keyah Keymah, and Kelly Coffield are shown dancing rather than the strangely absent Fly Girls. At the end of the dance routine, the girls nervously back up against the closet on the set's mock rooftop. Suddenly the closet bursts open, and it is revealed that the female cast members tied up the Fly Girls, duct taped their mouths shut, and stuffed them into the closet. Kim, T'Keyah, and Kelly look distressed, until T'Keyah shouts for the DJ to keep playing the song. The three girls finish their dance routine while the bound and gagged Fly Girls struggle to free themselves and (attempt to) shout for help. It appears that not all the Fly Girls were fully prepared for the sketch, because when the closet door opens and they all fall out onto the floor, you can see several Fly Girls still wrapping themselves in the rope or putting the pieces of tape over their mouths.
Love Connection – Jim Carrey portrays host Chuck Woolery, Kim Coles portrays Robin Givens, and Keenen Ivory Wayans portrays Mike Tyson in a parody of the television series of the same name. This is the very first aired sketch. In the second and final sketch, Kelly Coffield portrayed her character, Andrea Dice Clay while Jim Carrey played Patrick Swayze.
Magenta Thompson: Acting Teacher – Kelly Coffield plays a middle-aged, semi-oblivious former actress who has taken up teaching the art of acting. In her classes, Magenta gives her all when demonstrating her acting abilities and her strong passion for the profession. However, she doesn't seem completely bothered that she was no more than a bit-part supporting actress who was always met with the line "Outta my way, bitch!" in every movie she appeared in, all of which she delights in showing to her students.
Making of a Tracy Chapman Song – Tracy Chapman (Kim Wayans) promises her producer she will have a song written by the next day. For inspiration, she looks out the window and incorporates events like an old man getting hit by a bus and a domestic dispute into her new song, which is set to the tune of Chapman's hit "Fast Car".
Misery II – A pseudosequel to Stephen King's Misery, where a woman is chained to her bed by Rick James (played by Keenan Ivory Wayans) who claims that "there's a party in my pants". When the woman tries to reason with him by saying that she liked MC Hammer's sample of Superfreak, it causes an enraged James to make the sophomoric comment "M.C. Hammer ain't nothing but a stinky pants doody!" In tribute to Misery's infamous sledgehammer scene, James returns with a hammer, saying "It is hammer time!", and the narrator comments "He is one funked-up host".
Mr. Armstrong – A substitute teacher named Mr. Armstrong, who has two useless arms, one of which is limp, teaches a group of students who torment him by compelling him to perform various tasks with his useless, limp arm such as writing on the chalk board, pointing to places on a map, and covering his heart for the Pledge of Allegiance. Mr. Armstrong eventually snaps, saying "You little trouble makers, I didn't want to have to show you this side of me, but you forced my hand," before using his limp arm to karate chop his desk in half, subduing the students into good behavior.
Old Train – A parody of the music show Soul Train with Keenan Ivory Wayans as an elderly version of Don Cornelius. During the show's famous "Soul Train Line", some of the dancers include someone in a wheelchair, and pallbearers rolling a casket down the line. In the closing of the sketch, the "Grim Reaper" walks throughout the crowd.
Pee-wee's Adult Adventure – Pee-wee Herman (as portrayed by Jim Carrey) shills the new Pee-wee doll, updated with references to Paul Reubens' 1991 arrest for masturbating in a Florida theater.
Umbilical Barry – Jim Carrey plays a young college age kid still attached to his overprotective mother (Carol Rosenthal playing the stereotype of the Jewish mother) literally by the umbilical cord.
Timbuk: The Last Runaway Slave – Damon Wayans plays the descendant of cave-dwelling runaway slaves, unaware of changes in the world around him since the 1860s. Before his "Pappy", who raised 3 generations of runaway slaves, passes away, he tells Timbuk it's time to leave the cave. After exiting the cave Timbuk encounters a businessman (David Alan Grier) who he thinks is a "free black". A white jogger running by bumps into the businessman. Timbuk immediately apologizes while the businessman stands up to the jogger and the two exchange words. Timbuck grabs the businessman telling him white folk like to be right even if they are wrong. The jogger leaves and a few moments later dogs are heard barking. Timbuk grabs the businessman and goes behind a bush. A white women with two small dogs walks by. Timbuk tells the businessman to stop staring at her as she walks away. The businessman tells him he can have a white woman if he so desires. The jogger returns with police to take the businessman away due to the earlier altercation. Timbuk throws himself down full force on the ground begging for mercy. When the police tell Timbuk he is not under arrest and is free to go, he believes he has been freed. The skit ended with a cliffhanger that was never resolved.
Seamus O'Shanty O'Shame – Jay Leggett, who was cast strictly in the fifth and final season, plays an Irish singer whose songs each begin with traditional, uplifting lyrics, but end with graphic lyrics, usually involving death or destruction. Each of his songs ends suddenly with "That's it!" It turns out that Seamus is a mental patient when two men in white uniforms arrive to capture him.
Snuf & Roam – (Shawn and Marlon Wayans) A pair of immature brothers talk tough, but invariably get put in their place. One sketch dealt with them trying to hit on girls at a club, which Snuf says his full name is Snuffleupagus. Another had the brothers thrown in jail and trying to act tough in front of the other prisoners, only to later find out they were arrested for sneaking into the film Pinocchio without paying.
Star Trek: The Wrath of Farrakhan – In this spoof of the original Star Trek series and the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Jim Carrey impersonates Captain Kirk with grossly exaggerated mannerisms, with David Alan Grier playing Mr. Spock and Kim Wayans as Lt. Uhura. Minister Louis Farrakhan (Damon Wayans) boards the Enterprise and convinces the minority and alien crew members to mutiny, becomes captain, and directs the Enterprise to 125th street in Harlem, New York to Sylvia's Soul Food Shack.
Three Champs And A Baby/Little Lady – Muhammad Ali (David Alan Grier), Sugar Ray Leonard (Tommy Davidson) and Mike Tyson (Keenan Ivory Wayans) care for a baby girl (a teenage girl in the "Little Lady" version). Tyson peppers his conversation with the words "ecstatic" and "ludicrous", and is punched by Ali whenever the doorbell (actually a boxing ring bell) is rung.
Sheila P – Kelly Coffield plays a realtor who has a very stereotyped view of everyone she meets. In attempting to sell an apartment to an Asian couple, for example, she told them the hard wood floors were good for them to practice karate on. When trying to sell the same apartment to an Indian man, she told him there was plenty of room for all his wives to come in and belly dance.
Naganawanaland – Kelly Coffield plays a newly appointed U.S. ambassador to an obscure African nation, while David Alan Grier plays her interpreter whose translations don't quite match up to what the new ambassador is actually saying.
Vortex 2 – A parody of tampon commercials with Kelly Coffield and Kim Coles sunbathing at a swimming pool. Coffield tells Coles that she'd like to take a swim, but that her period prevents her from doing so. After using Vortex 2 at Coles' suggestion, Coffield returns and dives into the pool, causing the water in the pool to vanish.
On the May 5, 1990 broadcast, Keenen Ivory Wayans did a take-off on a Billy Dee Williams "Colt 45" commercial (in which the purpose of the beverage is to get your lady friend wasted) that ended with a woman (played by Kim Coles) passed out on her back on a dining table, and "Billy Dee" moving in on her unconscious body to have sex with her. The "Bolt 45" sketch was seen only once during the original broadcast. The sketch was omitted from repeats because some felt it was making light of date rape. The Season One DVD set of ILC didn't include the "cut" sketch from the pilot. This skit was cut by Fox censors, and the necessary modifications were made to the master tape, but Keenen "accidentally" mixed up the masters, and the original master was broadcast. That segment has never been broadcast since, not even in syndication or on FX or BET. It has been replaced by The Exxxon Family (a fake promo for a sitcom about a clumsy Exxon boat captain (played by Jim Carrey)) in syndication and DVD Box Sets.