Missionary position

This article is about the sex position. For the book by Christopher Hitchens, see The Missionary Position (book).

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The missionary position

Les missionnaires, drawing by Gustav Klimt.

The missionary position is a male-superior (man on top) coitus position in which the woman lies on her back and the partners face each other. Variations of the position allow different degrees of vaginal tightness, clitoral stimulation, depth of penetration, and participation on the part of the woman. These variations may involve the woman resting her feet on the bed, lifting them up high into the air, or wrapping them around her partner; or placing one or more pillows under the woman's hips.

The missionary position is the most commonly-used position in the United States and was advocated by Sir Thomas Aquinas and other church figures in medieval Europe. It appears in ancient artwork of the Romans, Peruvians, Indians, Chinese and Japanese. A common myth states that the term "missionary position" arose in response to Christian missionaries, who taught that the position was the only proper way to engage in sexual intercourse. This explanation probably originated from Alfred Kinsey's Sexual Behavior in the Human Male through a confluence of misunderstandings and misinterpretations of historical documents. Tuscans refer to the position as "The Angelic Position" while some Arabic-speaking groups call it "the manner of serpents."

The missionary position is often preferred by couples who enjoy its romantic qualities afforded by copious skin-to-skin contact and opportunities to look into each other's eyes and kiss and caress each other. The position is also believed to be a good position for procreation. In heterosexual sex, missionary allows the man to take charge of the rhythm and depth of thrusting, and some couples enjoy the feeling of the man "taking" the woman while she relaxes. It is also possible for her to thrust against him by moving her hips or pushing her feet against the bed, or squeeze him closer with her arms or legs. The missionary position is less suitable for late stages of pregnancy, or when it is desired for the woman to play a more dominant role.

History

See also: History of sexuality

The missionary position has been used for millennia. Robert Francoeur notes that evidence of the missionary position's use appears in ancient pottery and art in the Fertile Crescent as well as in the art of Early Greeks, Romans, Peruvians, Indians, Chinese and Japanese. The majority of the positions described in the Kama Sutra involve the woman lying on her back with her legs in a variety of positions. According to Canongate, ancient art shows missionary as being less popular than woman on top in Ur, Greece, Rome, Peru, India, China and Japan. But Francoeur states that the ancient Chinese preferred male-on-top because of their belief that males were born face down and women were born face up. Kagaba natives in Colombia preferred missionary because of the stability it offers; they believed that if the woman moved during intercourse, the earth would slip off the shoulders of the four giants who held it up above the waters. Some Kerala tribes believe that the male-on-top position is the only way to conceive warriors.

In Greece, the missionary position was originally an unpopular position. Beds existed but were not as we know them today, and men would marry rather young girls (14 or 15 years of age). These factors made the rear entry standing position more convenient. However, circa the second century, Artemidos popularized the missionary position among Greco-Roman Stoics, declaring it "the only proper and natural" position because it affirmed the domination of men over women.

Although the Bible did not mention sexual positions, from the 6th to 16th centuries, church authorities taught that intercourse should be face-to-face, man-on-top, primarily because they believed that semen would flow with gravity, leading to conception. Exceptions were made for couples dealing with illness, obesity, or pregnancy. The medieval Catholic Church observed that animals copulated in the ventro-dorsal ("doggy style") position, and concluded that it was unnatural to humans. According to John Bancroft's Human Sexuality and Its Problems, Thomas Aquinas believed that crimes against nature included intercourse in unnatural positions, with the missionary position being considered the only natural one. Benjamin Shepard wrote that "for Aquinas, any sexual act other than missionary position intercourse – man on top of woman – was assumed to be a sin of irrational gratification, of lust." Protestants did not communicate proper sex positions, and the Catholic Church eventually abandoned its discourse on the topic. Simon Hardy wrote that the missionary position was used to distinguish "beastial and civilized sex."

Others who held that missionary was the only permitted position included Alexander of Hales and the author of De secretis mulierum, who suggested that nonstandard positions might result in birth defects. Ruth Mazo Karras states that in William Peraldus' treatise on sin distinguished between sins against nature that were "according to the substance" (intercourse other than vaginal) and "according to the manner, as when a woman mounts." Nicholas Venette's 1770s-era sex manual praised the missionary position as the "common posture...which is most allowable and most voluptuous." Numerous sources have reported that in the United States, some states have outlawed positions other than missionary between husband and wife, or will grant a divorce to a woman whose husband makes love to her in another position. While many states outlaw oral sex, anal sex, buggery, or other "unnatural" acts, no US law has banned ventro-dorsal heterosexual sex, or specified which partner needed to be on top.

Etymology

Prior to the release of Alfred Kinsey's work, the missionary position was known by several names, including "the matrimonial", "the Mama-Papa position", "the English-American position", and "the male superior position". In 1948, Kinsey published the male volume of the Kinsey Reports, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. He described the American preference for the position and called it "the English-American position." Discussing Malinowski's The Sexual Life of Savages in North-Wester Melanesia, Kinsey wrote, "It will be recalled that Malinowski (1929) records the nearly universal use of a totally different position among the Trobrianders ... [and] ... that caricatures of the English-American position are performed around ... campfires, to the great amusement of the natives who refer to the position as the 'missionary position.'" To date, lexicographers and sexologists have not found use of the term "missionary position" prior to Kinsey.

In 2001, Robert Priest examined the origins of the term and concluded that Kinsey had confused several factors in accidentally coining the term. To begin, according to Malinowski, Trobrianders played and sang mocking songs under the full moon, and not around a campfire. In Sexual Behaviors, Kinsey wrote that the Trobrianders mocked face-to-face man-on-top woman-below intercourse, but does not give context. He mentioned the position was learned from "white traders, planters, or officials", but does not discuss missionaries. Kinsey also recalled that the medieval Catholic Church taught the position, and upon seeing the natives mocking it, assumed that missionaries had taught it to them. Finally, Malinowski wrote that he saw an engaged Trobriand couple holding hands and leaning against each other, which the natives described as misinari si bubunela — the "missionary fashion." Upon accidentally combining these similar facts, Kinsey invented a new phrase despite believing that he was reporting an old one.

From then on, the story of the name's "origin" was retold until it became largely accepted, and its connection to Kinsey and Malinowski faded. Writers began using the expression for intercourse in the late 1960s, and as Alex Comfort's bestseller The Joy of Sex (1972) and the Oxford English Dictionary (1976) spread the term "missionary position", it gradually replaced older names. By the 1990s, it had spread to other languages: Missionarsstellung (German), postura del misionero (Spanish), and position du missionaire (French).

Basic position

In intercourse in the missionary position, the woman lies on her back, with her legs either spread flat, drawn up toward the chest, or wrapped around the penetrating partner. The woman can wrap one or both of her legs around the man at various heights: at the back of his legs, at the buttocks or back, or over his shoulders. Generally, the higher the woman lifts her legs, the deeper the penetration. The man lies on his belly on top of the woman, with his legs between the receiving partner's legs, and his penis at the same level as the woman's vagina to facilitate penetration.

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A wedge shaped sex pillow

Pillows (especially firm ones) are commonly used in the missionary position. Esther November notes, "Placing a pillow under the woman’s butt will lift her pelvis and change the angle of penetration." A Playboy article suggests placing it under her hips for "increased pressure on the clitoris." MensHealth recommends placing it "under the small of her back." Any of these methods allows deeper penetration. Raising the clitoris in general allows easier access to it in this position. A wedge- or ramp-shaped pillow is said to be useful for the missionary position in that it relieves pressure on the top person's hands and arms. Using a pillow can also help the woman arch her back and avoid backache.

Some couples also take advantage of the missionary position's large amount of skin-to-skin contact to achieve a "slip and slide effect" by smearing a small amount of lubricant on one of the partner's stomach and chest. Lubricant can also be used on other body parts to reduce the friction and thus stimulation of the man, slowing the orgasm that might otherwise come too soon with a position like missionary. Women are less likely to be affected by the lubrication as their orgasm is caused mostly by indirect stimulation.

Variants

Legs up

This position was exceptionally popular in Ancient Greece and is commonly depicted on Attic pottery of the Classical Period. The conspiring women in Aristophanes' Lysistrata likely refer to it when they take an oath "not to lift high their Persian slippers" (ου προσ τον οροφον ανατενό τό Περσικα).

Most women find the position in which she lifts and bend her legs a little, resting her feet flat on the mattress to be much more comfortable than the usual missionary. This position also allows her to push against the man's thrust, giving her some control over the rhythm. Michael Castleton describes this as "the best position to find the prostate." According to James Thomsen, placing her feet on the bed "provides a straight in approach that shortens her vagina. Because the cervix will be at the end of her vaginal tunnel making the distance from the vaginal opening to the cervix will be a half inch or so less than its ordinary distance." This position gives the G spot more friction.

She can also raise her legs in the air. Thomson notes that "by raising her legs up in the air, she aims the head of the penis to the posterior fornix or pocket on the back side of the cervix, giving him more length and the head of his penis a friction spot as it glides past her cervix." When the legs are held mid-level in this way, the penis can hit the back deep spot of the vagina. Hollander believes one disadvantage to legs high positions such as the anvil is that "her clitoris is out of the running and doesn't get anything but air"; moreover, a woman may have trouble reaching orgasm in some legs high positions simply because she feels ridiculous.

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This type of legs up missionary, called "the anvil," allows the deepest possible penetration.

The deepest possible penetration can be gained by putting the woman's legs over his shoulders in a position sometimes called "the anvil" or "the pretzel." Monica Sharp notes that in this position, some women "might shy away from the feeling of being totally out of control of how deep the guy pushes." It is possible to compromise by lifting one leg and not the other. Thomsen notes, that in the anvil position, "she offers the anterior cervical pocket or front fornix and a great deal more friction on the top portion of the shaft of his penis." In this position, the penis would hit both her G Spot and her front deep spot. A potential disadvantage of this position is that such deep penetration may cause the penis to hit her cervix, causing discomfort. On the other hand, according to Tarkovsky, "Some women are very interested in having as deep a penetration as possible (all the way to the cervix) and even if a man has a sufficiently long penis, the position assumed may not allow a deep enough penetration." Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions notes that it "can be very erotically stimulating for her if the lingam just teasingly touches her cervix."

The plough

This variant of legs up missionary, "the plough," in which the woman's legs completely encircle the man and pull him deeper into her, requires flexibility on the part of the woman.

The plough is a position in which the woman wraps her legs around the man's waist or around his buttocks, so that they can thrust against each other in rhythm. This position requires great flexibility. According to Sharp, "This encourages closeness and a great 'holding each another' feeling. ColombiaLink points out that this position can cause the man to orgasm rather quickly: "Presumably the reason is that it conveys how much she wants him inside her – and how much she wants him to come inside her vagina, which is a real turn-on for most men." The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Sex Positions notes that by pulling the man toward her with her legs, the woman can not only make him "feel accepted and wanted" but also "draw him into her body, achieving deeper penetration and encouraging him to thrust harder if she wants more forceful thrusting." The Lovers Guide notes also that "with her feet on her partner's buttocks, the woman can pull the man in to grind against her with his pubic bone." Sexual Health Resource notes that this position makes a man with a smaller penis feel bigger. Couples with strong pubococcygeus muscles can use this position to best advantage. A possible disadvantage of the plough is that it may not provide enough clitoral stimulation for the woman to reach orgasm.

The Grip

The Grip is a position in which, after insertion of the penis, the man puts his legs outside of the woman's so that both her vagina and legs cause friction against his penis as he thrusts in and out, and then he slides forward a bit. Discovery Health advises its female readers, "Your partner can then squeeze your legs further closed with his thighs." Shifting his pelvis forward can help cause a clitoral orgasm with this position. The overall effect is that it "forces the man to enter from a sharper angle towards the clitoris adding more stimulation for the woman" potentially leading to a "quicker and stronger" orgasm. This position's squeezes the vagina more tightly around the penis, enhancing stimulation for the man as well; this enhancement of vaginal tightness can be particularly useful if the woman has an otherwise loose vagina. According to Men's Health, this position "works especially well if she’s got large thighs." A potential downside to this position is that it reduces penetration and can even squeeze the penis out, especially if it is short. Savvy notes that in this position (which it calls the "peace sign" position), "there is no chance of touching the G-spot".

Riding high

In the riding high missionary variant, the man enters the woman in the normal fashion but then shifts his body up and forward toward her head. He then begins rocking back and forth, stimulating her clitoris with his pubic bone or base of his penis. This results in more consistent clitoral stimulation than thrusting. However, according to Dr. Joy Davidson, "It doesn’t work very well for people who like a lot of deep thrusting, especially women who are more responsive to pressure up near the cervix"; according, some couples prefer to use it during only part of sex. Riding high is somewhat similar to the coital alignment technique.

Perceived advantages and disadvantages

Psychological

There are many aspects of the missionary position that make it appealing to a large number of men and women. As Lynn Peters notes, it is often regarded as a romantic position because the man and woman are face to face (allowing them to make eye contact and watch the expressions on each others face if they so desire); there is potentially a greater amount of skin-to-skin contact than in any other position; and the couple can hold each other in their arms, which can easily segue into cuddling when sex is over. It is possible to combine having sex in this position with kissing, breast suckling, nibbling the other person's ears, neck and lips, and other sex play, as well as guiding one's partners hip movements with one's hands. According to Xaviera Hollander, "It permits all five senses to be exercised at once, with a minimum of effort and in the most romantic way. You can taste each other's tongues, hear the softest whisper, see into each other's eyes, smell each other's skin and hair, and embrace naturally without straining." Peters describes it as an aesthetically appealing position in which the woman's body is mostly covered by her partner's and therefore there is no need for a woman to feel self-conscious while "reclining with your face turned up, lips parted expectantly, and your hair arranged over a bank of snowy white pillows."

According to the Sexual Health Center, "some women seem to like the slight sense of being trapped or dominated by their partner if he is lying on top of them"; Archer describes it as "the good kind of smothering, too, like a heavy blanket or having your blood pressure taken." The Magnus Hirschfield Archive for Sexuality concurs: "There are also women who prefer to remain rather passive themselves, and who enjoy lying on their backs while carrying the weight of a man's body. For them, the "missionary position" (man on top of woman, facing her) may indeed be the most rewarding." Taken in Hand notes that for many a woman "lying on her back, exposed, vulnerable, receptive, trusting him, there for him, accepting him, accepting his authority, accepting his power as a man, accepting his dominance, being pinned under her man's imprisoning weight, unable to escape until he allows it, looking up at him with soft submissive eyes as he enters her in the male-superior position – the missionary position – feels physically and psychologically right. Soothing. Feminine." In contrast, Germaine Greer writes that any sex act "in which the heavier and stronger party makes the smaller and lighter take his weight is sadistic...most women are half-squashed most of the time." Rod Phillips views holding oneself up on his arms as being a sex position mistake unless the man is particularly heavy, though: "A lot of women like to feel the weight of their man on top of them during sex – they say things like: it makes them feel safe, secure, loved, or that they just like to feel the energy and power of their man in this position." Some women even enjoy the weight if the man is overweight; Lisa Davis writes, "The stimulating aspect of a fat man is manifested in the way he uses his weight to apply intense titillating pressure on the woman's genital area. What with the physical power of most men, physical weight is not a necessity for a man to make his presence felt, but it can be an advantage." The man can center his weight over and around the clitoris and gently rock back and forth, stimulating a long, ecstatic climax. According to Hollander, thrusting alone is typically insufficient to bring a woman to orgasm; "What does bring her to climax is having a nice stiff penis in there, plus weight, pressure, and friction on her entire genital area (especially that lively little she-devil, the clitoris), as well as on her thighs and stomach. It’s the way a man presses down on her, puts his weight on her, and rubs her with his body that makes her have an orgasm."

An aspect of the missionary position that many people find appealing is that the man can take full control of the rhythm and depth of his thrusts into his partner. Some women find it easier to reach orgasm in that position because they are more relaxed, since they need not think about what they should be doing. Christakos notes, "All they have to do is close their eyes, sit back and relax while the orgasm slowly surrounds them." It is possible for the woman to simply lie there and passively let him take her, but couples that prefer a more active role for the woman can try missionary variants that allow the woman the thrust against the man, by pushing against the bed with her feet, moving her hips, or wrapping her legs around him and pulling him toward her.

Another aspect that many people enjoy is simply the symbolism of the man being on top and taking the woman. Haire and Van de Velde argue that the missionary position allows "the two primitive instincts, the woman's desire to surrender herself and the man's desire to possess her, to be completely satisfied." The Lovers Guide notes, "Many women experience great pleasure from being dominated during intercourse. Some women enjoy sex particularly if the man is in control and makes everything happen. Missionary position sex is ideal for this. The man, being on top, controls the thrusting and can pin the woman down to the bed and take her roughly and at his pace. Being ‘taken’ like this can be highly exciting to some women. For the woman who is at all guilty about sexual needs and appetites, this position leaves her free of guilt about sex, because she can think of herself as being overpowered by a much stronger man."

Physical

The missionary position is commonly chosen for the first time a couple has sex. Thomas Stuttaford notes that it may be more comfortable to do so: "The discomfort of early penetrative sex, if there is any, is usually related to tension in the pelvic or thigh muscles and/or anxiety that has prevented the usual vaginal lubrication. Muscles of the pelvic floor are more relaxed if, initially, the missionary position is chosen and a couple of pillows are arranged under the woman’s bottom so her hips are tilted upwards." The simplicity of the position makes it well-suited to the inexperienced. The Lovers Guide states that missionary lends itself well to sex with a new partner as it is "a romantic yet fairly unadventurous sex position" that is "non-threatening and loving" and "lays neither partner open to strangeness, anxiety and unfamiliarity."

On the other hand, Sacha Tarkovsky warns against using women using the missionary position when giving a man her virginity, as "You are not in control, and it will be more painful and you cannot do anything but lay there and take it. "She recommends positions such as woman on top that allow the woman to control the speed and pressure at which she loses her hymen. However, it may not be necessary to completely forgo missionary the first time; Alphonso Sirtle suggests starting with woman on top until the hymen is torn, and then possibly switching to missionary or whatever other position is preferred.

The missionary position allows easy entry into the vagina. The man can use force and gravity to help himself in, and the position allows the woman to relax her vaginal muscles and help her partner guide his penis gently in with her hand. Suzi Godson notes, "In an observational study carried out in The Netherlands, magnetic resonance imaging was used to study the male and female genitals during coitus. The images illustrate the very natural fit of the male and female genitals in [the missionary] position. The penis has the shape of a boomerang – one third of its length consists of the root of the penis – and the vaginal walls wrap snugly around it."

According to Sexual Health Resource, "The man-on-top sex positions are very good for couples who are trying to have a baby, because penetration can be very deep. If the woman holds on to her legs behind her knees and draws her thighs right back, sperm can be deposited deep in the vagina – at the neck of the womb. This provided the best chance of conception occurring." Journal-a-Day notes, "This position permits the penis to lock securely within the vagina and hence there is no waste matter of ejaculate. For adult males with short members and low sperm cell counts, this is very beneficial." Getting Pregnant Tips notes the importance of not using too large a sex pillow though, as it can cause the sperm to pool behind the cervix. Francoeur states that "male-above sex promotes fertility by keeping the opening of the vagina higher than the seminal pool, which, in turn, helps sperm get into the womb and find the egg." Nonetheless, according to BabyCenter, "There's no evidence that any particular sexual position is more likely to lead to conception." Donnica Moore counters this by stating that while there are no scientific studies regarding the best sexual positions for baby-making, the missionary (man on top) position is typically considered optimal for conception.

Pregnancy Info points out that the missionary position may become increasingly awkward for pregnant women as their belly begins to grow. The March of Dimes notes, "Positions that work before pregnancy and early in pregnancy can be uncomfortable or even unsafe at later stages of the baby’s development. For example, a woman should avoid lying flat on her back after the fourth month of pregnancy, because the weight of the growing uterus puts pressure on major blood vessels." David Port states, "Beginning early in the second trimester, doctors tend to discourage pregnant women from supine exercise. And the missionary position is exactly that kind of exercise, at least if the activity lasts more than a few fleeting moments."

The deep penetration and large hip thrusts of the missionary position can cause the man to reach orgasm quickly compared to other positions, which can be problematic if the couple seeks to reach simultaneous orgasm. The male reaching orgasm first can be disruptive to sex, as 50% of penile erection is lost immediately after ejaculation, making him more likely to inadvertently slip out of the vagina, especially during the strong pelvic contractions of female orgasm. In addition to the standard methods for treating premature ejaculation, Zachary Veilleux notes that this problem can be overcome by workarounds such as changing positions frequently (which studies have shown delays male orgasm by a factor of 2-3), using lubrication to reduce friction (friction stimulates the male but is not as important in female orgasm), or switching to cunnilingus for awhile when close to ejaculation, and then switching back when ejaculation is no longer imminent.

The missionary position is sometimes derided as a plain vanilla sex position. Archer notes, "To all the sex gymnasts, this kind of banal preference looks lazy, unimaginative and uninformed," but she rebuts this by pointing out the existence of variations: "Missionary is kind of like tofu: You have to add your own flavor." Perhaps due to the ubiquity of this position, its typical role as the first position used by couples, its tendency to put the man in control of speed, tempo and depth, its ability to cause him to quickly reach orgasm, and the fact that it is literally a "male-superior" position with the man on top, missionary is sometimes associated with men who are dominating and uncreative and selfish about sex. According to Gina Ogden, "the cultural missionary position – man on top" is not conducive to romance since "If a relationship is based on authoritarian control, keeping one person on top and the other underneath, it gets old pretty fast – for both partners, really". In Women Who Love Sex, Ogden writes, "Think what will happen to the missionary position when women, en masse, opt for pleasures that stir body and soul instead of continuing to do good-girl intercourse by the book." Stephen Colbert's book I Am America (And So Can You!) satirizes political conservatives by a reference to their preferred sex position being missionary followed by a firm handshake. In Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart, the main character ridicules the idea of women making decisions by saying that one might as well say that the woman lies on top of the man when they are making the baby.

The missionary position has potential for clitoral stimulation in several ways. Christakos points out, "This position can give the woman plenty of clitoral stimulation if the man leans forward thus rubbing his pelvic bone against her clitoris." Emily Queenie Chung notes, "Also, this position is the easiest for a woman to stimulate her clitoris manually." Sexual Health Resource notes that also "the man can reach under and stimulate his partner using his fingers on her clitoris" although "the man has limited use of his hands" (presumably this would depend on the variant of the position used and whether the man's hands are occupied holding himself up).

Sex in the missionary position, as a form of physical exercise, may be slightly more vigorous for the man than in other positions. A study conducted by Bohlen et al found that "man-on-top coitus required more metabolic expenditure than woman-on-top coitus" and that the heart rate during man-on-top sex was higher than in self-stimulation, partner stimulation, or woman-on-top. But one study showed that there was no difference in heart rate or blood pressure when comparing these two basic positions, while another showed only a minor decrease in oxygen consumption or exertion with the 'man-on-bottom' technique during orgasm.

Popularity

Among humans, the missionary position is the most commonly-used sex position. In his seminal study Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953), which focused on American women, researcher Alfred Kinsey stated that 91 percent of married women surveyed reported using this position most often, whereas nine percent reported using it exclusively. A Journal of Sexual Medicine study entitled What Kind of Erotic Film Clips Should We Use in Female Sex Research? An Exploratory Study selected 18 film clips out of a sample of 90 that were found by the women studied to be particularly mentally appealing and visually arousing. 21% of the original 90 involved the missionary position, but 33% of the final 18 involved missionary. Fewer than 10% of sexually active persons rarely or never use the missionary position. According to Francoeur, the Brazilian Bororo Indians eschew missionary, finding it insulting for either partner to be above the other during sex. Balians shun the man-on-top position in favor of the Oceanic position due to their perception of the former as being impractical and clumsy. The Cashinahua people use the missionary position to stay stable when they have sex in a forest stream to avoid insect bites. The Inis Baeg practice the missionary position exclusively, without foreplay. In addition to humans, the missionary position is also used by certain other species including bonobos and armadillos.