Wikipedia:Requests for feedback: Difference between revisions

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Requests for Feedback

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This page provides comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have drafted, created, or substantially changed.
This is not a general help page. To seek assistance or ask a question, see Wikipedia:Questions.
If you are seeking an outside opinion about a dispute, please follow the steps in Wikipedia:Dispute resolution.
Please note that this page is patrolled by volunteer editors just like you and it may take several days to review your request.

Before you request feedback

There are certain things which come up again and again so it may help if you deal with them before requesting feedback:

Does your article have reliable sources? These are important in terms of both verifiability and notability.
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If you would like a beginner's guide to these sorts of issues, take a look at the article wizard.

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For a more general discussion of writing your first article, see "Your first article".

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Place a Wikilink, with the title of the page inside [[ and ]] - for example, [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] - in the box below.
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In the new article, Write a brief summary of your work or what in particular you need help with, but do not post the whole article here.
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After Receiving Feedback

Check back here often, as you will receive a response here.
Respond to the feedback, either with a simple thank you, to ask for help with anything mentioned, or, after you've made some of the improvements, what they think of them.
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Index of all requests for feedback

Draft article: Obama Conspiracy Theories [the web site] feedback requested

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kwdavids/Obama_Conspiracy_Theories

Thanks, Kevin (talk) 02:59, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At most, this is a stub that should be relocated to the page on President Obama. However, it seems to be a mere promotion for the website, which is inappropriate. Xcviii (talk) 01:34, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I can not move my article... Please help

Done

Hello, I have created a new page User:Theultravisitor/enjoythezoo But I'm unable to move it, I have seeked much advice and help on making my article up to wiki standards. (Which I believe I have). Thanks for all the help!

Theultravisitor (talk) 03:21, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It appears it has been nominated for WP:AfD, so I'll let that process take over.--SPhilbrick T 23:01, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Primer dimer

Done

Hi there, I would love to have your feedback on my (first) new article about Primer dimers, by products in PCR, a common method used in molecular biology. The article will benefit from the treatment of a native english speaker and one who is familiar with wiki style. Thanks in advance :o) Tzachi Bar (talk) 14:49, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm so impressed. Just a few notes: 1)There are no inline citations in nearly the first half of the article. 2)It's not recommended to have a seperate summary section in Wikipedia. 3)The illustration title has a typo mistake, it says: "dimmer". Sole Soul (talk) 18:53, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

hi, thanks for the compliment and the feedback. I fixed the figure and moved the summary to the body of the text. There are no references in the first half of the text mostly because it is based on very old (20-25 years) material which became commmon knowledge for people working in the field. However, if you find on-line references from these years you are welcome to add them.Tzachi Bar (talk) 21:31, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I like your article also very much. I have just corrected some typos. Although there are many single references for the second part of the article, I would appreciate some additional refrences for the first part as well. In particular, do you have a reference for "However, this method is unfavored due to the high risk of contaminating the lab with PCR product."? Thanks, --Firefly's luciferase (talk) 21:36, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hassaan Namdar

Done

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ashuhsan1/Hassaan_Namdar:[[Hassaan Namdar] —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ashuhsan1 (talk • contribs) 15:51, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Appears to be an opinion piece about how beautiful the name is. This is not appropriate for an article as there has not been coverage from reputable sources (academic texts, newspapers, and such) about the subject.Cptnono (talk) 06:55, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Polyphonics Chorus

Done

The Polyphonics Chorus

My first effort. Hope is Ok

The Polyphonics (talk) 23:39, 8 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs a lot of work before it is ready for main article space. Here are some suggestions:

Read the Manual of Style and the layout guideline to find out the correct layout for a Wikipedia article. In particular, note the standard sections that are required in a Wikipedia article.
Add sources for the facts quoted on the article.
Add references to independent, third-party sources to show the notability of the article's subject. This is very important.
Note that links to external web sites should be moved into references or into an External links section - they should not usually be embedded in the article text. Gandalf61 (talk) 09:37, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Little Foundation

Done

Please take a look at The Little Foundation article. It needs reveiewing by someone other than myself - it is a short article so shouldn't take much time. The sources have been verified and fact checked but of course there may be errors and omissions that I have over looked and wiki editing mistakes (my first article) although I have read the tutorials and used a wizard. Thank you for your time.Timfacer (talk) 10:48, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs more sources, and specifcially needs references to third-party sources to show the notability of its subject. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:46, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

See WP:CORP for guidance on notability of organisations. – ukexpat (talk) 17:54, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Interactive Design Institute

Done

Hi Wiki editors,

I would be really grateful for any feedback on my draft article.

User:Emmasinclair/new_article_name_here

thanks so much

Emmasinclair (talk) 13:32, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You will need to cite some reliable sources that demonstrate how the Institute is notable. Notability is the primary inclusion criterion here on Wikipedia, so without references for notability the article will not survive long on mainspace. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:54, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Institute of Plant Genetic

Done

Hello, here is the article I was asked a feedback: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_of_plant_genetic

Thank you for your help.

Cypherinfo (talk) 13:49, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The facts given in the article need references that link them to the sources from which the facts were taken. In addition, the article needs references to third-party sources to show the notability of its subject. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:12, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

page for Dr. Shashi P. Karna (world's reknowned nano Physicst)

Done

Though still in the making, I thought of creating a wiki page for one of the most top most nano Physicist Dr. Shashi P. Karna. Will appreciate any and all comments about the page.

Few things which I am yet to do:

1. fix the reference, external and internal links (still figuring out how to do that). 2. waiting on to get a list from his fellow student on a)his 500+ papers b)his work cross referenced at 300+ papers including few noble laureates c)latest list of conference and symposiums he chaired 3. upload newer picture

thanks Ishekhar (talk) 15:34, 9 November 2009 (UTC)Indu (redacted email)[reply]

Looks like you figured out how to do external references; but you have a few more to do. Someone helped fix the internal references; if you look at the edit history, you'll see how it was done. Good start.--SPhilbrick T 19:30, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Kbaughan1/Hamilton Road Cemetery, Deal, Kent

Done

User:Kbaughan1/Hamilton Road Cemetery, Deal, Kent

Hi,

Just looking for some constructive feedback on how I can improve my article prior to publishing it in its own right? Kbaughan1 (talk) 17:20, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You've done a lot of work on this article, very nice start. Thnaks for all the references, one of the usual problems with new article is a paucity of references.

My Main suggestion is to take a look at WP:Layout. You've done a decent job of creating relevant sections, but some of the advice in Layout should improve the article. For example, the lead should have one photograpph, pick the most representative one, and anchor it in the upper right.
It is natural to create numbered lists of the graves by section, but the presentation could be better. You should look at Wikipedia:Lists for ways to improve the presentation. I wonder if tables might be a better way? You might look at other article on cemeteries, e.g. Arlington National Cemetery, for ideas.
Your "Sources" section entries should use Wikipedia:Citation templates
The Press Section section doesn't belong there. If used as a reference, it should be converted to a reference. --SPhilbrick T 18:25, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Torben Thoger

Done

Hello, I am Villy Johansen (Username Villyjohan) and have almost an article / biography ready on [Torben Thoger] and would very much like to have some comments on my article. I have put plenty of links to verify the facts, but I did not mention any references yet. Where would it be appropiate to have references? Much of the information - for instance about Torben Thoger's childhood and his interest in spirituality, I have from himself, since I have interviewed him to get it all directly from the main source. How do I put that information in the article? I cannot upload photos and I wonder how I can fill in the contents box, but I guess I will be able to do all that when it has been saved for approval. Of course I have read as much I could about the editing, but this is my first article and I would be very grateful for any help to improve the biography on Torben Thoger. --Villyjohan (talk) 19:43, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I see two important concerns:

You should address the first one first, as making proper references is a bit of work, and I don't want to encourage you to do that work if you cannot establish notability.

The link above is the general discussion of notability, for more specific discussion of people in the music business, see WP:Music

It is important to establish notability early. Ideally it is stated in the lead, and supported with references either in the lead or in the first subsequent paragraph. I see you have included links. I didn't check them all, but I checked the first few and didn't see any that would qualify as reliable sources.

You said "Much of the information - for instance about Torben Thoger's childhood and his interest in spirituality, I have from himself, since I have interviewed him to get it all directly from the main source. How do I put that information in the article?" Unfortunately, the short answer is, you cannot. While this answer surprises some people, as first-hand evidence would seem to be the best, it is first-hand to you, and not independently verifiable. Independent verification is a critical aspects of this encyclopedia. Sorry. (If you can arrange for a reputable newspaper to interview you and publish the results, that would be acceptable.)

I see that Thoger has been covered by a newspaper, but I don't believe a scan of a headline will qualify as a verifiable source. Perhaps someone else will weigh in if it is acceptable. It would be much better to identify the date of the publication, so it could be verified.

Finally, this is the second time today I've seen that external link that goes nowhere. Not sure where you got it, but it should be removed.--SPhilbrick T 22:43, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I now understand why the external link is there—it is a placeholder created by the Article Wizard so you can replace it with your external links if you need any. If you don't plan to have any, just remove that section.--SPhilbrick T 22:48, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Dixon Hughes

Done

Dixon Hughes

Here is a link to my article. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DHMKTG/Dixon_Hughes

Help/Feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.

DHMKTG (talk) 21:09, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment it reads like a marketing blurb for the firm and that's in contravention of WP:Spam, so it will have to be rewritten from a more neutral point of view. Also your user name is probably in violation of the user name policy. – ukexpat (talk) 21:39, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have revised my article and would love additional feedback from the wiki community. Thanks! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DHMKTG/Dixon_Hughes DHMKTG (talk) 18:43, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK first point, please log in and edit under your new username, User:AGHarrison. If you continue to edit under your old name, it will be blocked. The article is in your new userspace at User:AGHarrison/Dixon Hughes. I will moved the draft to the mainspace at Dixon Hughes. – ukexpat (talk) 19:09, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

B-Hoody

Done

B-Hoody (LilKray4556 (talk) 00:12, 10 November 2009 (UTC)) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-Hoody Hello,my name is A.J. Awatt and I created a wikipage for "B-Hoody" and I would like to get some feedback on what I should change on it. Please and thank you![reply]

At present, there are no references in the article, and nothing to indicate why this person is notable. You'll also want to look at WP:BAND. For help adding references, see Wikipedia:Citing sources and Wikipedia:Footnotes--SPhilbrick T 18:34, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

B-Hoody has been speedily deleted as not indicating the importance or significance of the subject. – ukexpat (talk) 21:46, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Article name: XAND

Done

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Levi999/Xand —Preceding unsigned comment added by Levi999 (talk • contribs) 06:30, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hello,

I have started a user subpage draft of an article on XAND, a new disease entity. This is a distinct subset of the general galaxy of patients suffering from what is known as "chronic fatique syndrome", a controversial medical topic.

My concern is the notability test of this topic, since there is an existing article on the proposed causative agent,a retrovirus named XMRV. There is also some mention of XMRV on a subpage of the chronic fatigue article.

I would like to gather some thoughts on this prospective article before investing significant time in drafting it. Thanks for your help.Levi999 (talk) 06:23, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

NetDocuments

Done

I created an entry for NetDocuments a few weeks ago. The article still needs to be reviewed and was hoping to get some feedback on it. I have included a number of relevant links and sources to make the article credible.

Thanks,

Dannymjohnson —Preceding unsigned comment added by Dannymjohnson (talk • contribs) 17:20, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish why this company is notable. While you have some references , most are PR releases or company produced. If you have third party coverage in WP:RS, I missed it. Please take a look at Wikipedia:Citing sources and Wikipedia:Footnotes to improve the referencing. (But don't waste time on cleaning up references is you cannot satisfy the Notability requirement.)--SPhilbrick T 18:44, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

NAFTA & The 100 Mile Diet: Economic Implications

Done

NAFTA & The 100 Mile Diet: Economic Implications

We created this article for a class project and we would appreciate your feedback in order to complete our project. Thanks. TianaSammy (talk) 19:09, 10 November 2009 (UTC)TianaSammy,November 10th, 2009[reply]

I think the use of Wikipedia as a class assignment is a good idea.

I hope, whether this article survives or not, it has been a learning experience, and you will continue to contribute to Wikipedia in other ways.

First, the nitpicks:

The external link ~~is bad. Not sure what you intended.~~was intended as a sample, replace it if you need one, or remove it.
Good to see referencing, but the referencing style should be improved. Check out WP:Footnotes. If that's confusing, say so, and I'll fix one as an example.

Now, a bit more editorial commentary:

The lead is confusing. It starts out talking about a diet, then jumps to NAFTA, without a clear transition. I wonder if you should talk about NAFTA first - not sure, I just had trouble following the point.
I'm concerned about WP:OR. The diet is notable, the agreement is notable, and it is interesting to discuss the tension between the two, but this smacks of original thought. Normally, original thought is a good thing, not a bad thing, and you are to be commended for that aspect. However, an encyclopedia isn't a place for original thought, it's a place to document the original thoughts of others (crudely, and simplistically stated). You need to show that others have discussed the tension between the globalization concepts of NAFTA and the localization concepts of the diet. (I didn't read every one of your footnotes - if some do make the point, great, but I didn't see it in the article.)

Back to nitpicks: This sentence "Even though Canada could not agree, there was conflict which resulted in a dispute settlement in 1995 ending in Canada’s favor" needs work. Canada couldn't agree to what? (Yes, the answer is in the citation, though not well-written there, but a citation is for support, not explanation.)--SPhilbrick T 21:00, 10 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment

Hi...

My article name is: User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment . User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment

I wanted to profile one of my favorite concert promo companies by describing the business based on information that I know firsthand and based on information from their website. Since this is my first post, I'm not sure if I did everything right. Please review this SIMPLE page and let me know if it is ready to publish... Thanks!

...Alex Loucas

Grizzleemusic (talk) 00:11, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately, we can't place information and articles in Wikipedia based on firsthand knowledge; we have to instead use reliable sources. Your main problem is that your article doesn't have any. You need to find reliable, secondhand information to use in your article, and to prove notability. It might be that this company doesn't meet the notability requirements for Wikipedia. Check the page WP:ORG to find out. Annalise (talk) 16:59, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Patient Safety and Quality Improvement Act

Done

Patient Safety and Quality Improvement Act

This is my first attempt at starting a new page. Please be gentle! Right now it's sitting in my user space in a sandbox.

It probably would take a while to complete this page. Is it appropriate to put it into wikipedia space before it is completed?

Rsjaffe (talk) 03:58, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Moved into Wikipedia space

Rsjaffe (talk) 15:40, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is a draft for an improvement of an existing article: Hans Scherfig (danish author)

Done

User:Harlekin96/sandbox

What I have done is trying to merge a longer danish article dk:Hans Scherfig with the existing english one about the same subject matter Hans Scherfig.

Simultaneously with translating the danish article I have tried to make the disposition of the resulting combined article more clear using telling sub sections. Harlekin96 (talk) 09:40, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Female sexual arousal and orgasm

Done

I have written a draft article with the above title.

I would like to find out whether it would be possible to have it published as a standalone article on Wikipedia.

Kind regards, Jane

Nosper (talk) 10:13, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there. Wikipedia is happy to have you writing drafts, but unfortunately articles encompassing this subject already exist in various forms. Check the orgasm and sexual arousal pages. --tennis man 14:42, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Junzo Sakakura

Done

Junzo Sakakura

I've written an article on this Japanese Modernist Architect who apprenticed with the French Modernist, Le Corbusier. Two (of a total of three) other Japanese architects who apprenticed with Corbusier: Kunio Maekawa and Takamasa Yoshizaka are included elsewhere in Wikipedia. Also he is linked to in the article on Japanese Architecture.

I would be grateful for any feedback you may have on the article.

Kenchikuben (talk) 14:53, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work! I have reviewed and made some minor formatting changes. – ukexpat (talk) 18:09, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Project Talent

Done

Greetings editors. I am requesting feedback on my recent submission Project Talent. Currently, it is tagged as "new unreviewed article."

Project Talent is listed under the category Educational Research. It was the largest survey on the aptitudes and abilities of U.S. high-schoolers ever undertaken, with multiple follow-up studies, and is still widely cited in education literature today. Therefore, I believe the article meets the notability standard, and it is heavily referenced. However, I am new to Wikipedia editing and would appreciate some general input. As a researcher, I have several topics that I would like to add to Wikipedia (all of which I believe meet the standards) but I feel I should solicit input on my first effort before blazing ahead. Any and all comments welcome and most of all someone to do the first review and hopefully get rid of the "new unreviewed" tag. Thanks so much!

MuddsMistake (talk) 17:24, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks fine to me. I have removed the unreviewed tag. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:44, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Solid PDF Tools

Done

I'd welcome any feedback on the article User:HikeBandit/Solid PDF Tools. This is my first full article for Wikipedia, so pointers would be appreciated. HikeBandit (talk) 21:54, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It needs a lot more work on notability -- how is this particular utility notable and do reliable sources exist to support notability? The existing reference is basically a self-reference and insufficient. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 22:06, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Firman R. Grubb

Done

Firman R. Grubb

I am requesting a review of my first article, mainly because I have used a newspaper article as the main content. I couldn't write the bio any better, so why even try? I found the article at the newspaper's web site some years ago, but don't know if it is still there.

LynnSGrubb (talk) 23:53, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"why even try?" That's called a copyright violation, and is not permitted here. --Orange Mike | Talk 00:33, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Larry Coon

Done

Hello Wiki editors, I have created an article about Larry Coon, an expert regarding the NBA Salary Cap. I'm not experienced in creating Wiki articles, but was surprised Mr. Coon did not have an entry in Wikipedia. So I am asking if there are any NBA fans, writers or bloggers that are more experienced on Wikipedia that could add to the article. Thanks. DD2K (talk) 00:34, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is the right place for general advice, and it looks like he deserves an article. You might post on the talk page of the WikiProject Basketball. On the plus side, that's where you are more apt to find editors with specific interest and knowledge. On the negative side, that project isn't as active as some.--SPhilbrick T 13:07, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Sphilbrick, your response is appreciated. I've made requests at both the talk page of the WikiProject Basketball and the Wiki NBA project. Thanks again. DD2K (talk) 14:29, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't realize we had an NBA Project, so we both learned something. Good luck with the article.--SPhilbrick T 20:48, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Arthur Fleischmann Wiki page

Done

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Christianfurr/Arthur_Fleischmann

Please can you check this draft then if you deem suitable, publish —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 11:33, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:39, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

How about

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/1731799.stm http://bratislavahotels.travelslovakia.sk/sites/museum-of-arthur-fleischmann-bratislava

http://www.fleischmann.org.uk/

http://www.artandarchitecture.org.uk/stories/fleischmann_fleischmann.html

http://catalogue.nla.gov.au/Record/1870010

? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 11:43, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You probably have enough there to establish notability. But now I see that the article is copied almost word for word from the biography at http://www.fleischmann.org.uk/frbiog.html. This is a copyright violation and is not allowed on Wikipedia. You need to re-write the biography in your own words. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:51, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK. Can somebody please do this for me as I simply havent the time. I am sure the Foundation wouldt mind the copy being verbatim as I have credited them at the end of the article (with thanks to.) This is providing info about the artist that is globally useful so I cant see the foundation objecting. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 13:18, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, crediting the copyright holder is not sufficient, as Wikipedia has to protect itself against potential legal action. There is a process you can go through to request the copyright holder to release their work under the same license as the rest of Wikipedia - see Wikipedia:Requesting copyright permission - but it is not a simple process, and there is no guarantee that permission will be given. I suggest you blank the draft article page until you can either get the appropriate permission or have time to rewrite the biography in your own words. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:59, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have tagged the draft for speedy deletion as a copyvio - this is not permitted even in userspace. – ukexpat (talk) 16:58, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Amalka Supercomputing facility

Done

Hello,

since User:Davidpodhola/Amalka_Supercomputing_facility is 10 years old now and is the biggest supercomputer in the Czech Republic computing also for NASA, I think it should be covered here as well. Please have a look at the article and give me your feedback.

Thanks,

Davidpodhola (talk) 14:31, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article looks fine to me. I think it is ready to be moved into main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:52, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

BringIt.com

Done

BringIt.com

BringIt.com BringIt is a video gaming website that provides “gamers” the opportunity to connect over the internet and play one on one or multi-player tournaments against each other for money. The site was launched in November 2008 by Woodrow Levin.

In addition to the gaming provided, the website allows users to blog, create profiles and write reviews in the forums. BringIt includes the following platforms: XBOX 360, PS2, PS3 and Wii. The main page also provides gamers with a list of the games the website supports.

BringIt’s main page allows auto matches or allows gamers to select an opponent who is looking to play a specific game for the same dollar amount. Players identify each other by their “gaming tag”, an online ID, and utilize their console’s online multiplayer platform or the built in multiplayer function of the game to play each other. When the game is completed, both players report the outcome to the website, or in the alternative result, emails are automatically reported from the game’s End of Game Email Reporting System. Winning players then have their account credited.

Founder/Chief Executive Officer Woodrow H. Levin founded InStadium and Riverbank Capital Management. Woodrow has been featured in Media Life Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and has been a guest speaker at the University Of Wisconsin School Of Business. Woodrow received his B.A. in Business from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and his Juris Doctor from the Chicago-Kent School of Law. Woodrow is active in community and charitable organizations including JUF, Lynn Sage Breast Cancer Foundation and most recently was on the executive committee of The Chicago Green Tie Ball.

How BringIt Works All new gaming consoles and many older consoles are able to connect to the internet for multiplayer online game play. Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo game consoles all have built in software which allows owners to play online against other gamers anywhere in the world. Each game will then be played through the existing technology of the console or game maker.

Our Mission BringIt is an online community where gamers across the globe can play video games for real money. BringIt is a community of American and International gamers with the ability to play against each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week for real money.

Legal Aspects BringIt is not in any violation of any United States or International anti-gambling laws currently in place. The reasoning behind this conclusion is that playing video games online are not games of chance; rather they are games of skill. Games of skill are not in violation of the Internet Gambling Regulation and Enforcement Act of 2006. Users are required to be at least 18 years of age. Certain US State laws prohibit skill based game play and these residents may not compete in BringIt’s skill based video game tournaments.

Games which may be played through BringIt’s website for real money include:

Burnout Paradise Call of Duty 4 Call of Duty World at War COD4 Dead or Alive 4 Fifa 2009 Fight Night Round 3,4 Forza 2 Gears of War 2 Guitar Hero World Tour Halo 4 Halo Wars Madden NFL 2010 Mario Kart MLB: The Show 2009 MLB 2K9 NBA 2K9 NBA Live 2009 NCAA Football 2010 NHL 2009 Rainbow Six Vegas 2 Resistance 2 Rock Band 2 Socom: Confrontation Street Fighter IV Super Smash Bros Brawl The King of Fighters 12 Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2010 UEFA Euro UFC Undisputed 2009 Unreal Tournament 3 XBOX Live Arcade

References:

betfromanywhere.com- http://www.betfromanywhere.com/blog/tag/bringit/ BlogWogo.com- http://www.blogowogo.com/blog_article.php?aid=1815823&t=5 Bungie.org- http://nikon.bungie.org/news.html?item=24563 centredaily.com- http://www.centredaily.com/business/technology/story/977193.html Cnet.com- http://news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10105324-2.html CosmosGaming.com- http://www.cosmosgaming.com/news.php?id=21113730&tablespec=november2008 CrunchGear.com- http://www.crunchgear.com/2008/11/21/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouth-is/ Edge- http://www.edge-online.com/blogs/bring-it-on ESPN- http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3725594 Fast Company- http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/sherri-l-smith/high-wire/gimmick-or-genius Financialcontent.com- http://studio.financialcontent.com/Engine?Account=wspa&GUID=7237763&Page=Media Forbes.com http://www.forbes.com/businesswire/feeds/businesswire/2008/11/21/businesswire116880802.html Fox Business- http://www.foxbusiness.com/search-results/m/25620399/betting-on-video-games.htm#q=bringit Gabbr.com- http://www.gabbr.com/tracker/bringit GameDaily.com- http://www.gamedaily.com/articles/news/bringit-invites-you-to-earn-money-playing-video-games/?biz=1 GamerBlips.com- http://gamerblips.dailyradar.com/story/bringit_challenge_play_earn GoNintendo.com- http://gonintendo.com/?p=63880 http://games.venturebeat.com/2009/07/03/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouths-are JSOnline.com- http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/entertainment/34894584.html Kiwibox.com- http://www.kiwibox.com/article/38960 Kombo.com- http://ps3.kombo.com/article.php?artid=8863 Kotaku.com- http://kotaku.com/5096015/cocky--cash+rich-bringit-will-allow-it-to-be-brung MacroWorldInvestor.com- http://www.macroworldinvestor.com/m/m.w?lp=GetStory&id=331413641

MarketWatch.com- http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/BringIt-Delivers-Next-Generation-Competitive/story.aspx?guid={654909E4-2A1F-4F45-9D3C-0EA58D95F393} Maxconsole.com- http://www.maxconsole.net/?mode=news&newsid=33978 MTV- http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/2008/12/03/bringit-aims-to-get-wii-players-wagering-on-online-games/ Official XBOX Magazine- http://www.bringit.com/media/static/press/OXM_2009_05.pdf O-Zonegames.com- http://ozonegames.com/blogs/daily_video_game_news/archive/2008/11/20/bringit-invites-you-to-earn-money-playing-video-games.aspx Playboy- http://www.playboy.com/articles/gamer-next-door-bringit/index.html SmartBrief.com- http://www.smartbrief.com/news/aaaa/industryBW-detail.jsp?id=68916F38-3BC3-444B-8C86-7D5F63AEEE12 Teamxbox.com- http://news.teamxbox.com/xbox/18227/I-Bet-You-100-You-Cant-Kill-Me-n00b/ TerrificShit.com- http://www.terrificshit.com/2008/11/21/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouth-is/ USAToday.com- http://content.usatoday.com/topics/article/Peter+Moore/05gGgKN9sf72G/1 Venture Beat- http://games.venturebeat.com/2009/07/03/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouths-are/ WorthPlaying.com- http://www.worthplaying.com/article.php?sid=57730 Yahoo.com- http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/081121/20081121005099.html?.v=1 Yahoo.com- http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/play-money-five-ways-to-make-a-living-playing-games/1330627

Vertz22 (talk) 17:41, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is far too spammy to form the basis for an article and for the same reason I have tagged the draft your userpage for deletion too. Please take a look at WP:SPAM, WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 19:39, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank You

Joker Blogs

Done

I would like feedback/review of a new article titled: Joker Blogs. Here is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_Blogs or Joker Blogs. I would appreciate someone's help; this is my first Wikipedia article.

Thanks!

Hpsparrow (talk) 00:28, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think you need to add more visuals. Maybe a photo table will make it look more official..JardenBooks (talk) 01:04, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your input. I would like to add, however, that the article seems to have been deleted or has otherwise been move/disappeared. I don't know how to look into that and see what has happened, so could a more experienced Wikipedia user please find out what has happened? If it has been deleted, I would very much like to know the reason why, but if it has been moved...where could it have been moved to? Thank you, Hpsparrow (talk) 21:36, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Joker Blogs was deleted under criterion A7 of the speedily deletion criteria as it was an [a]rticle about a web site, blog, web forum, webcomic, podcast, browser game, or similar web content, which does not indicate the importance or significance of the subject.

Young Legend(King of Mississippi)

Done

Young Legend(King of Mississippi) Web master for Grand Hustle/Steeldreams Ent new artist Young Legend.. Just want some feedback and helpJardenBooks (talk) 00:29, 13 November 2009 (UTC)...[reply]

Please note that according to the userpage of the account User:JardenBooks, Jarden Books is a company which is being paid to publicize Yourng Legend and other musicians by creating Wikipedia advertisements about them. The COI is blatant; the role account has been blocked as a spamusername. --Orange Mike | Talk 13:39, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Young Legend is a growing and budding artist. I think this article may be a bit premature, as people outside of the south(i.e. LA-the Carolinas) may not have heard of him. Myself being from Alabama have seen him perform on several occasions. So I can give the thumbs up. This is a great article on him although. Very in depth and the sources seem to be accurate. Marty0615 (talk) 01:01, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Article now at User:Marty0615/Young Legend. It needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Midas Kapiti

Done

Midas Kapiti A chronology of the leading banking packages, which since 1972 has been the standard software package for nearly all of the world's banks.

David Shaw Midas 13th November, 2009 DavidShawMidas (talk) 14:33, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Some suggestions for improving your draft article at User:DavidShawMidas/Midas Kapiti:

Format - the formatting is very poor. Read our manual of style, and look at how other Wikipedia articles are formatted.
Style - reads like a marketing brochure. You need to remove marketing hype such as "the world's most successful banking system", "more world-wide customers, more awards, and more capability than any other" and "the world leader in banking packages". Remember that you are writing an encylopedia article, not a sales brochure.
Content - very dull. You give a detailed history of the sofwtare package up to 1994, then nothing for the last 15 years. The reader is left with little or no idea of what the software does.
Sources - you need to provide sources for the dates and events that you give in the artcie, and references to third-party sources to show that this software package is notable.
Conflict of interest - if you are the "David Shaw" referenced in the article, then you may have a conflict of interest which means you are not a suitable author for this article. Read our conflict of interest guideline. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:26, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Quick question on new articles...

Done

I have four articles that I would like posted to Wiki. Are there folks or services that will write my content so that it is accepted to Wiki? For hire?

My conundrum is:

The founder of our company is also the chief scientist of a revolutionary NEW lighting technology -- plain and simple... it IS revolutionary...

I want to add the founder's bio and how it relates to the technology, the first product, the founding company and the "promotional sales/marketing" company...

How do I do that without getting canned for advertising/promotion? I've had two marketing firms read my articles and they say they are "NOT" promotional, but have gotten slammed on WIKI for uploading them.

Do you know of any folks that re-write for hire?

Please respond.

Jereodom (talk) 17:26, 13 November 2009 (UTC)Jere 11/13/2009 11:20 AM CST[reply]

Writing an article to promote the interests of your employer is a breach of our conflict of interest guidelines. If you hire someone to write such an article, then they in turn would be in breach of the conflict of interest gudelines. The best approach is to request an independent Wikipedia editor to write an article - see Wikipedia:Requested articles for how to do this. If there is insufficient information in the public domain for an independent editor to write an article, then the subject is almost certainly not suitable for Wikipedia. Gandalf61 (talk) 17:37, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Gandalf61 - Thank you for your response. I have posted in two categories on the Request Article pages. I hope to receive some feedback, and I sure hope I posted it correctly. Wiki can be very confusing for someone who uses it as a resource but doesn't get to contribute very often. I appreciate your taking the time to respond. Wish me luck! Btw, the guy I refer to is a fairly young entrepreneur with a genius brain, so information on him will not be easy to find. I provided a couple of links to websites that give his brief bio and hopefully that will help an editor get started. Thanks again! Jereodom (talk) 18:21, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If "information on him will not be easy to find" then he is unlikely to be notable as that term is defined for Wikipedia purposes, see WP:BIO and WP:RS. Online bios etc are not sufficient, we need "significant coverage in reliable sources". – ukexpat (talk) 18:38, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the input, Ukexpat. Let me clarify... he CAN be found on the Internet, news publications, local organization publications (as a Innovator of the Year Award nominee) with very little net searching, but I did include two links to websites that provide a brief bio and links to other news articles, that may help someone who would like to help write the articles. Make sense? Jereodom (talk) 19:20, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia

Done

Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia William Groves Carson (talk) 18:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)William Groves Carson November 13, 2009William Groves Carson (talk) 18:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There doesn't seem to be an article by that name. What is your question? --Orange Mike | Talk 19:07, 13 November 2009 (UTC)\[reply]

Article draft at User:William Groves Carson/Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia. – ukexpat (talk) 19:15, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment it does not read like an encyclopedic article, but more like a travel journal or flowery magazine article. So the tone will need some work. Please also see WP:FOOTNOTES and WP:CITE for reference citing. – ukexpat (talk) 19:20, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Havis1/International Montessori Society

Done

User:Havis1/International Montessori Society

I appreciate comments on this page before entering on its own.Havis1 (talk) 01:00, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article looks fine, and I think it is ready to be moved to main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:50, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Climate Change In Alberta

Done

Hello,

I am in need of some feedback or comments about an article I have currently posted. Climate Change In Alberta All comments are appreciated. Thanks Farmgirl29 (talk) 18:26, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry in advance for being negative, but I don't see much that can be salvaged.

Most importantly, there are existing major articles on climate change and global warming. While there may be value in discussing the special impact on a region, a Canadian province is quite a small region, so it would take a rather strong claim to justify an article on the province.

The article as written has one paragraph purportedly on the subject, while the remainder of the article is a laundry list of activities that are not specific to Alberta, and aren't even specific to climate change. It is more like a list of good agricultural stewardship practices than climate change issues.

Finally, the one paragraph addressing the title has problems. Climate is long-term, while weather is short-term. The precise dividing line can be argued, but if the temperatures and precipitation patterns are truly a manifestation of climate change rather than weather, you'll need solid support for the claim. Look at your second reference: it states "Recurring droughts are a part of Alberta’s climate". In other words, your reliable sources are at variance with the point of the article. Some other references, such as your third and fourth references, are merely anecdotal support for drought, rather than long-term climate change. I don't doubt for a second that there has been climate change, but I've checked over half your references and haven't found one that supports the claim.

If you are intent on writing about climate change in Alberta, I suggest that you join in the discussion of the talk pages of Regional effects of global warming to get consensus on how to (or whether to) add material specifically relating to Alberta.--SPhilbrick T 02:10, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

What is Competency-Based Education?

Done

There is no part of this article that was copied from another published article: we wrote this article as a Word document and copied it into Wikipedia and I then posted it so I'd like to know how to have that notice of possible copyright violation notation removed and also how to delete the warning that it was edited by someone else because I edited it. Please advise how these 2 things can be done becaue I've read every single one of the above bullets but am still having trouble. Thank you.

The message about copyright has been removed. The other issues noted do remain. For example, Wikipedia has a variety of acceptable reference styles, but the one you chose is not one of them. Please see Cite for assistance, although it would be better to address the tone and style issues first. Please see LAYOUT for some guidance. Fixing references is easy, making the style consistent with an encyclopedia article is a bit more work.--SPhilbrick T 02:20, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please read your first heading and opening two sentences, and compare to the second paragraph of this paper

Competency-based education

What is Competency Based Education?

The major premise of competency based education (CBE) is that diplomas and credentials should be awarded on the basis of demonstrated performance on competency and on results, rather than on accumulated or completed credits. In fact, CBE is often tied directly to the occupational requirements of working professionals. CBE presents adult learners with opportunities to solve the real-world problems of managers, teachers, computer programmers, nurses, engineers and others.

Comparing Institutional Approaches to Competency-Based Distance Education

What is competency-based education? Its major premise is that diplomas and credentials should be awarded on the basis of demonstrated student performance – on outcomes and results – rather than on the accumulation of credits, the number of successful semesters completed (seat-time), and adherence to campus residency requirements. CBE is often tied directly to the occupational requirements of working professionals, requiring degree candidates to solve real-world problems of nurses, teachers, computer scientists, and business managers.

Can you explain?--SPhilbrick T 02:37, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

mako yoshikawa

Done

Greetings,

This is my first page and I'm somewhat intimidated by all of the formatting elements. Here is the article in my userspace, not yet posted because I couldn't figure out how to list it in the noncontested area.

robsabal/Mako Yoshikawa or maybe it is just Mako Yoshikawa

I could add additional links or at least the citations for newspaper reviews. I could also add the citations for her scholarly publications but it doesn't seem like other authors tend to do this.

Thank you for your help.

Robsabal (talk) 04:09, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's here: User:Robsabal/Mako Yoshikawa--SPhilbrick T 15:56, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Good start. I cleaned up some of your references.

It looks like she should pass the Notability hurdle, but you haven't included any citations for Reliable Sources. I think her book(s) have been reviewed by the Washington Post and other places - can you include those?

Also, there is a reference to "published scholarly essays on incest in American literature". Citing the publication and date would be very helpful.--SPhilbrick T 16:16, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The "move" button will appear after you do 4 more edits. If you add a couple reliable sources, and still haven't reached ten edits, let me know and I'll move it for you, otherwise, you can move it yourself.--SPhilbrick T 17:51, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you again for your help. I've added the Washington Post citation and the list of articles on race and incest. I wonder if you can move this page for me as I still don't see a move tab. I look forward to making additional contributions.

Robsabal (talk) 05:37, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I moved it for you. Now at Mako Yoshikawa. Note that it takes a few hours for it to become indexed, so it won’t show up in a search right away.SPhilbrick T 16:45, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wendell Brown

Done

This article (on Wendell Brown) is my first for Wikipedia, and I have enjoyed the journey. Thanks for all the great support and guidelines! How do I get someone to review so I can further improve the article and remove the "unreviewed" banner? Also, what do I need to do to make sure, when "Wendell Brown" is googled, that this article comes up? Thanks! Carterkirk (talk) 04:36, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have removed the unreviewed tag. Wikipedia has no control over Google page rankings. The article needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:46, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

My usual comment when Google page rankings come up: we are here to create an encyclopedia, not engage in a Google page rankings contest. – ukexpat (talk) 17:10, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Southern 80

Done

Hi,

This is my first article User:Dtbell91/Southern 80. I hope it meets Wikipedia's high standards. I created the article because I decided I'd like to give back to the community which has helped me so much in times of difficulty ;) Thanks, dtbell91

Dtbell91 (talk) 10:36, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article is a good start, but it needs to include references to third party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:37, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Theodelinda

Done

The picture of the crown in the Theodelinda article is an object in the museum of the Monza duomo, but is not the crown, as the article states it to be. The crown is gold and green, with alternating jewels and rosettes in each row. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Loggoin (talk • contribs) 18:02, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I suggest you post your comment to the talk page of the article, and to the Talk page of the editor who added the image.--SPhilbrick T 19:21, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Mark Rathbone

Done

I have drafted a brief bio of the actor Mark Rathbone an actor in the film Naked in London, in anticipation of the release of the film in Spring 2010 - I hope to post bios of the rest of the cast and crew once I get the hang of Wiki posting!

M —Preceding unsigned comment added by Marksailferret (talk • contribs) 22:50, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft is currently in userspace at User:Marksailferret/Mark Rathbone. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If these people have nothing more notable about them than Rathbone has, articles about them are likely to be deleted pretty rapidly. Please read our guidelines on what constitutes a "notable" actor, etc. --Orange Mike | Talk 19:31, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Stacyv.v/Franklin P. Jones

Done

Dear Editors,

I am trying to create a page about my notable writer Grandfather Franklin P. Jones Franklin P. Jones, User:Stacyv.v/Franklin P. Jones. However, even after reading help pages, I'm a bit flummoxed.

The information about my Grandfather in the world at-large is flawed and confused. His work is being attributed to other people and / or his birth and death dates are often printed incorrectly. Answers.com called out for more information from anyone in-the-know and I've created an Answer there. Is that considered a verifiable source? There is hardcopy information on the east coast (I am west) at my disposal, but not anytime soon.

His work (specifically quotations / quips) is not copyrighted (yet). But will I have to go through extra steps for each and every one to prove it is my right to site them?

I apologize for editing the things I did incorrectly (superscripts). But it seems close to impossible to edit 10 times without stepping on either the author or Wikipedia's toes. Once it is presentable, can you move the article live for me?

I am also not clear on where to put verifying sources. Is that what the Reference section is for?

I'm sorry for all of the question marks, but I am on a mission to clear my Grandfather's name, and do it well, once and for all. I would greatly appreciate any assistance you can offer.

Thanks so much, Stacyv.v (talk) 01:01, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Being on a mission to clear my Grandfather's name puts you in a huge conflict of interest and will make it very difficult for you to write an article which meets our neutrality requirements. At the moment the draft is not ready to be moved to the mainspace as it has no references. References do not necessarily have to be online, but they must be clear enough to be verifiable. Note that because of your COI, the article will receive in depth scrutiny, so your references will have to be pretty good. – ukexpat (talk) 17:26, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Curtis Grubb

Done

Please review my article on Curtis Grubb. He was my ancestor and an important figure in Pennsylvania history. Please don't delete it, it's my first and was a lot of work! LynnSGrubb (talk) 15:56, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft is at User:LynnSGrubb/Curtis Grubb. – ukexpat (talk) 17:19, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Interesting article. A few points of style:

In the first paragraph, try to be a little less self-referential. "It is difficult to discuss the brothers individually..." draws attention to the author, which IMO detracts from encyclopedic style. Just say that Curtis' affairs were closely entangled with Peter, Jr.'s and leave it at that.
In "Personal Life," "Fortunately, Curtis Jr.,...died..." should probably be qualified as "Fortunately for historians" or "Fortunately for genealogists"; it's a little jarring.

That said, I think it's basically OK to move to article space. I'd be interested in seeing more articles on the Grubb ironmasters of the Susquehanna region; I have a picture of some abandoned abutments of their iron railroad at Shenk's Ferry, and I could probably get pictures of Chickies #2 and maybe even St Charles Furnace at some point. Choess (talk) 05:57, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review of my Curtis Grubb article; I have made the changes suggested and will move it to article space (if I can figure out how!). I don't know anything about the Susquehanna Grubbs, but I have asked our "Grubb expert" for input. Would I continue to contact you here? LynnSGrubb (talk) 02:00, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sky Songs

Done

Hi, It's my first time writing an article in Wikipedia and I would welcome feedback on it before I try and push live in a few days.

Article is Sky Songs and because I am personally and profesionally interested in this new website and know quite a bit about it I was keen to use this subject as my first article.

I think I have used the correct tone and references and appreciate any feedback before I go ahead and try my hand at other subjects.

Adamhodge2 (talk) 16:41, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft is at User:Adamhodge2/sky songs. – ukexpat (talk) 17:16, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Given your obvious severe conflict of interest here, I would advise you not to work on this any more. --Orange Mike | Talk 19:36, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Transpo Industries, Inc

Done

Hi, I've started writing an article about a company, and want to make sure I'm on the right path, and won't be deleted. I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks.

User:Hleetranspo/Transpo Industries, Inc.

Hleetranspo (talk) 18:05, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment the article does not address, with references, why this company is notable per WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 18:09, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In addition, if you are H. Lee of Transpo Industries, you should also read WP:COISPhilbrick T 18:35, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:AngelSG/Pretty Little Flower

Done

I have created the page User:AngelSG/Pretty Little Flower regarding a local grind core band. Please review, as I understand that is necessary before the page can be officially available. I have put in references and followed all help guidance available. AngelSG (talk) 21:22, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's not clear from the draft whether the band meets the notability tests set out at WP:BAND. If you think it does, please edit the article accordingly, with inline references. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've added the inline references. I do think it meets the notability tests. I changed the references I originally had only at the bottom to be inline references. AngelSG (talk) 06:30, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

article name Morgan Mandel

Done

I'm looking for approval or advice on improving an article about mystery writer Morgan Mandel.

Morgan Mandel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgan_Mandel

Hope I'm doing this right.

Thanks,

Organmountains (talk) 05:06, 17 November 2009 (UTC)Bob Sanchez 11/16/09[reply]

I don't think the article is ready for the mainspace yet so I have moved it to your userspace at User:Organmountains/Morgan Mandel so you can continue to work on it. The main problems are notability and sources. The draft does not explain why the subject is notable per WP:BIO, nor does it have reliable sources per WP:RS - you cannot use other Wikipedia articles as references, and self-published sources such as personal websites and blogs are not reliable. So please read the above links, and also WP:YFA, WP:CITE and other Wikipedia articles about writers so you can see what we need. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 17:49, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Global Intelligence Alliance

Done

~~Hi - This is my first Wiki article. I would appreciate any comments or feedback particularly on any area that I can improve on. The article is titled Global Intelligence Alliance~~

~~Thanks! (RW15 (talk) 06:16, 17 November 2009 (UTC))~~[reply]

Reposting - Global Intelligence Alliance

Done

Hi - Please ignore my question above. This is the correct draft of my first Wiki article User:RW15/Global Intelligence Alliance. Any feedback or comments are welcomed especially on areas where I can improve on.

Thanks! (RW15 (talk) 06:41, 17 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

At the moment the article reads, IMHO, like a promotional piece and does not address why the subject is notable per the guidance at WP:CORP. So the tone will need to be revised and you will need some more reliable sources to support claims of notability - note that company press releases on sites like PRWeb are self-published sources and not reliable as we use that term on Wikipedia. – ukexpat (talk) 17:55, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ordination of women in the United Methodist Church in the 19th century

Done

Ordination of women in the United Methodist Church in the 19th century

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Earthmamaursa/Ordination_of_United_Methodist_Women

(Earthmamaursa (talk) 07:44, 17 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

Before I look at this in depth, I am intrigued by the comment From: Donna Sperry's archives, DS360, Nov. 09. Has the text been copied from another source? If so you will have to follow Wikipedia procedures to provide evidence that you have permission to re-use the text. – ukexpat (talk) 18:01, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Websystems page

Done

Hello, I want to make sure this page is ready to be offically puslished. Can you tell me if it's ok?

Websystems User:Catalepsky/Websystems

Thank you!

Catalepsky (talk) 17:36, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The draft does not explain adequately why the subject is notable per WP:CORP, nor does it cite reliable sources per WP:RS. Self-published sources such as the company's website are not reliable. It's also rather spammy in tone. So please read the above links, and also WP:YFA. – ukexpat (talk) 18:07, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HCL_Career_Development_Centre_(HCL_CDC)

Done

HCL Career Development Centre

Request you to kindly review the article.

Sanjaytiwary (talk) 14:20, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article currently reads like an advertisement, not like an encyclopedia article; indeed, most of it seems to be copied from the HCL CDC web site, which is probably a copyright violation. You need to rewrite the article in your own words, removing phrases like "legacy of excellence", "deep expertise" and "fastest growing". In addition, the article needs to provide references to third party sources to show that this company is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:08, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article has been speedily deleted as too promotional. Please read WP:YFA, WP:SPAM and WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 15:36, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Melontown Gets a New Mayor

Done

Melontown Gets a New Mayor

—Preceding unsigned comment added by Bbgun777 (talk • contribs) 17:52, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article is here User:Bbgun777/Melontown Gets a New Mayor

I looked quickly, but I see no evidence of Notability.--SPhilbrick T 20:48, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I know that citing booksellers (such as Amazon) is discouraged, although I am struggling unsuccessfully to find the policy. The external references aren't acceptable either, which, unfortunately, leave you with zero references.--SPhilbrick T 20:59, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Lung Flute

Done

I just ran across an article about this thing, and thought it would make a good first new article for me. I realize that it's just a stub at the moment, but wanted to see if I was on the right track.

Here's the article: User:Mark_Shaw/Lung_Flute

Thanks for any feedback! Mark Shaw (talk) 22:11, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think it works as a stub. Do you need help moving it to Lung flute? I have "coloned" out the categories while it is still in userspace so that it does not show up in the category listings. – ukexpat (talk) 20:25, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think I just create a new article of that name by clicking on the redlink, then copy-and-pasting my article text into the new one, right? Is there anything else I need to do? Mark Shaw (talk) 20:32, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well, strictly speaking as the draft has been edited by more than one person (you and I), it should be moved rather than copy/pasted. – ukexpat (talk) 00:23, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, done. How does it look? Did I forget anything? Mark Shaw (talk) 01:22, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, except we use sentence case for titles so I moved it to Lung flute. – ukexpat (talk) 02:10, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Gotcha. Thanks very much for your help! Mark Shaw (talk) 02:13, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Value-Added Wood Products in Ontario

Done

I have written an article on Value-Added Wood Products in Ontario as a class assignment. I require comments on how to improve my article in order to finish my report for the class. Thank you very much.

MajorZombie (talk) 22:55, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Just a general comment to start with, you, your classmates and teacher/instructor should take a look at our advice for school and university projects. – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Additional sections would help clean up this article. For example, company information should be removed from the Sustainability section and the reference to small town job dependancies should be removed from the Value Added Products section. Rsnooks (talk) 02:59, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Psychotropica (film)

Done

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychotropica_%28film%29

My name is Robert Drake and I am a big supporter of independent film, so I decided to make my first article about an interesting little movie I bought online, Psychotropica. I was wondering if anyone would care to review this article I wrote for me to see if it meets up to general standards. It would be most appreciated.

Kind Regards. --Drakester6969 (talk) 04:41, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I moved it to Psychotropica as there was no need for the disambiguating parentheses. I also took a stab at cleaning it up a little but there is more to do - for example, there are too many red links. The cast list can probably be de-linked - if any of them have Wikipedia articles some time in the future they can be relinked. You should probably post a message on the talk page of the Films Project, they are experts with film-related articles and can probably offer further assistance. – ukexpat (talk) 21:13, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kludgeteer/Kludgets

Done

This is an article on Kludgets, an open sourced widget engine that allows Mac OS X Dashboard widgets to run on Windows and Linux. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Kludgeteer (talk • contribs) 05:07, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject, we need significant coverage. At the moment, only PC Mag qualifies as reliable, but the coverage is not significant. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 19:59, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

3CXPhone

Done

Please review this article on 3CXPhone - a VoIP SIP phone: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Voipguy/3CXPhone Voipguy (talk) 08:14, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject, we need significant coverage. Republication of company press releases and directory type product listings don't count as significant coverage. – ukexpat (talk) 20:06, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated. The blog post of TMCNET editor is significant coverage - as it is a well known VoIP blogger. In addition the article is mainly meant to allow the software to be listed on voip software page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_VoIP_software). This lists many SIP phones which are far less notable and many of which are no longer in development or available. However I am assuming the page will be deleted if i do not find additional significant coverage? Voipguy (talk) 09:43, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

e-psychology

Done

The article can be found at e-psychology.

I would really appreciate any comments and help with cleanup.

Thanks,

DigiHealth (talk) 11:38, 19 November 2009 (UTC) DigiHealth 12:37, 19 November 2009.[reply]

Just a personal opinion, but I really don't like the APA style of inline citations in works intended for public consumption. I think the inline footnotes format is much more readable to non-academic audiences. Dcs002 (talk) 12:15, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Odryfuss/English translations of Hesse's Siddhartha

Done

Requesting feedback on a page I just made: User:Odryfuss/English translations of Hesse's Siddhartha. The point of the page is to present the five existing translations of the novel side by side so that people interested in reading it can decide which one they like best and want to buy. if this page is approved, I plan to link it to the Wiki page on the novel Siddhartha, which has a brief section listing the English translations.

Thanks for your suggestions! Odryfuss (talk) 12:42, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment this is not an encyclopedic article. Even if it could be rewritten in such a way that it critically compared various translations, it would fall foul of our prohibition against original research unless references to reliable sources that discuss issues relating to the various translations could be cited. – ukexpat (talk) 20:19, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There are also concerns with possible copyright violations, if the quotations are too extensive. --Orange Mike | Talk 18:19, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Cameron Knowles Show

Done

The Cameron Knowles Show

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Knowlamp/The_Cameron_Knowles_Show

Knowlamp (talk) 19:05, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I know I am beginning to sound like a broken record with my comments here, but there are issues with notability. I looked at all the external links and none seemed to provide any kind of significant coverage of the kind we need to support notability, and in fact none would really work as external links per the guidance at WP:EL. If you can find reliable sources that discuss the show and its contribution to broadcasting, it might have a chance, but at the moment I am afraid that it's not ready to move to the mainspace. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:52, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I've added some more references. Could you or anyone offer more opinions? Thank you!Knowlamp (talk) 19:03, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Carbon360

Done

Carbon360 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Danielag2009/Carbon360 --Danielag2009 (talk) 19:32, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am hoping to receive some feedback for my first Wikipedia article, it is a company based in NY that has a unique history and I was hoping to start an article about it so more people can expand on it.

Thank You for you help! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Danielag2009 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject or do more than repeat company press releases, we need significant coverage. – ukexpat (talk) 20:12, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Johno Fisher

Done

Hey guys i just put up a page on Johno Fisher, one of my favorite drummers. It still has not been a reviewed apparently. i was wondering if you could help? Thanks Guys

Jason Newton —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nubzy89 (talk • contribs) 21:39, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed and made some layout and formatting changes. I also removed some references that were not really references, so the article needs more reliable sources to support claims of notability. – ukexpat (talk) 00:55, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ok thankyou very much. I have sources of an e-mail interview and i gained alot of information from past interviews from here and there. How should i got about this? thanks again

Jason —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nubzy89 (talk • contribs) 01:49, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Personal e-mails are not reliable sources, but interviews published in third party reliable sources are. If you have links to interviews in online sources (or offline, hard copy sources) you can cite them to support statements in the article. Let me know if you need further help. – ukexpat (talk) 02:39, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Selfridge–Conway discrete procedure

Done

Selfridge–Conway discrete procedure

This article expands a section of envy-free division.

It is about how to cut a cake between three people so that nobody envies nobody.

Please enrich me with your feedback.

viebel (talk) 21:47, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm struggling with this article, and have to try to keep separate my comments on it as an article from the actual contents.

First, re contents. The moving knife algorithm is far superior in efficiency, and generalizes for n players, so it isn't clear why we care about Selfridge–Conway. However, this speaks to Notability. Is it historically notable because it preceded moving knife solutions? Or is it notable because moving knife solutions are considered a special class of solutions? Without some response along this line, it is difficult to understand why we care about an inefficient procedure with limited application.

In addition, the Selfridge–Conway algorithm is fully described in the long-standing article Envy-free. If you think your description is better than that one, I see the choices as:

Edit Envy-free to make it better
Discuss at the talk page of Envy-free why the algorithm should be split out into a separate article. However, given the extremely short existing length, I can't imagine why that would happen.

Sorry about the less than positive reaction to your efforts. You obviously have some skill, and I hope you will stay to edit other articles of interest to you, but I don't yet see how your draft article makes sense in light of the existing coverage.--SPhilbrick T 14:43, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Kidnapping of Michaela Garecht

Done

The Kidnapping of Michaela Garecht —Preceding unsigned comment added by 92.0.42.187 (talk) 23:31, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am afraid that I have nominated the article for deletion for the reasons stated at the Afd discussion. – ukexpat (talk) 00:42, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

International Forum on Disability Management

Serifz (talk) 00:07, 20 November 2009 (UTC)Serifz, November 19, 2009[reply]

Draft is at User:Serifz/International Forum on Disability Management. – ukexpat (talk) 00:34, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Generally looks OK, except I see no evidence of discussion of this event in reliable sources. Seems likely it is Notable, but we need to include evidence.

Some of your external source links were mangled, I fixed them. Also made a minor copy edit change. Is there an external link for the second meeting in Maastricht?--SPhilbrick T 17:46, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Paul Welday

Done

I am a new wikipedia editor looking for this article's validity to be accepted. What do I do? It is for Paul Welday. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Soccer4926 (talk • contribs) 02:24, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I see one or two problems. See WP:CRYSTAL. This appears to be about someone who might be nominated or elected to office. I don't know whether announcing one's candidacy for office is sufficient for notability, but I kinda doubt it. (I'm not admin, I'm just an editor like you, so don't take this as gospel!)

There's also the issue of regional interest. If a person is running for a federal office, I think the person needs to be notable on their own until they actually win the race. Think of Al Franken of Minnesota (or Sonny Bono of CA, or Fred Grandy of IA). He had already established a notable career before running for the US Senate. I don't see notability yet for Mr. Welday. My 2 cents. BTW, remember to sign your entries. Dcs002 (talk) 11:52, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your analysis is correct, please see WP:POLITICIAN. The article has been speedily deleted. – ukexpat (talk) 20:06, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Bog turtle

Done

Bog turtle is being actively worked on and is getting closer to being GA quality. But it isn't there yet. If anyone is interested, could you make a comment or two regarding things you see in the article that are problematic (and things that are working). Cheers, Wassupwestcoast (talk) 02:53, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

2 comments: 1) This looks really good to me! You have high standards I think. 2) In the "Scientific Classification" section (taxonomy), class and order are missing. Any reason? Was it intentional? Again, I think this article looks really good. Nice pictures, and I like the endangered species scale graphic. Dcs002 (talk) 11:59, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time! Very good point about needing a taxonomy section. Cheers!Wassupwestcoast (talk) 15:12, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, we appreciate all the help we can get. I am going to check the taxonomy box right now. Thanks to both westcoast and Dcs002.--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 21:10, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have added the class and order on the page, again thanks for the feedback.--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 21:23, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your help. --Merry Beth (talk) 16:52, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Homeowners of Texas

Done

How am I doing? Please check out Homeowners of Texas. It describes a non-profit that seeks to protect people from corporate abuse. I’m the Communications Director, so I had to work extra hard to be neutral and unbiased. In the spirit of full disclosure, I declared my potential Conflict of Interest in the DISCUSSION page, where I also address potential issues of notability and copyright. Is that the best place for that? I rewrote my original article (as a draft this time) to address issues raised by an administrator, andI hope I got it right this time with an article acceptable to the Wikipedia community. Thanks for your help. Wayne Caswell, Communications Director, Homeowners of Texas
(waynecaswell AT homeownersoftexas.org) TXhomeowner (talk) 03:59, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I can see you've put a lot of thought into the notability issue, but unfortunately I don't think you've quite got it yet. I think it's still at risk for speedy deletion.

First of all, I don't think there should be a notability section per se in the article. Notability is established within the text of the article. But in the notability section, you cited your organization's website three times as the source for the good works your organization has accomplished. Articles about organizations can't cite themselves in order to establish notability. (Imagine a person doing that. They make their own website listing all the good things they've done, and then start a WP article about themselves, citing their own website as evidence of notability. People can't do that, and neither can organizations. It lacks verifiability.) The two remaining sources cited in that section are cited in support of the claim that two state agencies also criticized the TRCC. I didn't read through those sources (the first one I opened was 54 pages long), but unless they satisfy the notability criteria directly for your organization they won't work either.

Because of these issues, it still reads like a self-serving publicity piece. I don't think that's what you intended, but that's how it looks when an organization claims certain accomplishments and then cites itself as the source for those accomplishments.

I think your organization might very well be notable by WP standards. I just don't think you've established that yet. Look for news or magazine reports, maybe quotes by prominent people... If the organization is notable, it should be pretty easy to find this kind of documentation for it. Good luck! Dcs002 (talk) 11:37, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

And of course there is still the problem that TXhomeowner has a huge conflict of interest here. It is not an insurmountable problem, but will lead to the article receiving considerable scrutiny, as indeed it has in the past - it has been speedily deleted at least twice. TXhomeowner has also been blocked as a WP:SPAMNAME. – ukexpat (talk) 15:44, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oops! I said "Look for news or magazine reports, maybe quotes by prominent people..." There are already news reports cited right below the paragraph I had commented on. Sorry!

However, the clear majority of citations still point to the organization's website. I think the problem still exists that it looks like a self-promotion piece. It might be best if you remove all information that's supported by citations pointing to the organization's website and see what you have left. Try to build the article based on existing media reports. Remember, verifiability usually requires that key information comes from sources other than the subject of the article itself. Dcs002 (talk) 11:13, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Eric Gillette article

Done

Hello, I am requesting feedback on an article I created, which can be located at Eric Gillette. I appreciate any pointers or criticisms that anyone could provide.

Joebjay20 (talk) 14:25, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please take a look at the tags that have been placed on the draft. If moved to the mainspace in its current form, it would almost certainly be speedily deleted as advertising. – ukexpat (talk) 18:40, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi ukexpat,

I have made changes to the article and I would appreciate your assistance with further feedback.

Joebjay20 (talk) 16:06, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This article still lacks notability IMO. A contributing author who owns his own business? I'm not at all as well versed in WP policies as ukexpat is, but my gut is telling me this article still isn't gonna make it based on notability, and it appears to me still as a promotion piece. Dcs002 (talk) 13:59, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Novus Biologicals

Done

Novus Biologicals - I created a new page for an international antibody company that has recently won a few awards. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

AmyChamberlain (talk) 19:28, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

First of all, as Product Marketing Manager for the company you have a huge conflict of interest and are strongly advised not to create or edit articles about the company, as it is very hard for you to mantain a neutral point of view. I have looked at the article and the tone is a little promotional, and you need some more reliable sources to support notability. Please take a look at WP:CORP and WP:FAQO. – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Paper and Pulp Industry in Dryden

Done

Hello all!

I have written an new article onPaper and Pulp Industry in Dryden. So, I am hoping that someone would take a look at it ,and hopefully someone give me any feedback for my article.

Thank you for your time!

User:MT0220 17:35, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia does not use capital letters for common nouns in its article title - see WP:CAPS - so I have moved the article to Paper and pulp industry in Dryden, Ontario. In terms of content, it is fine. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:50, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Elizabeth Needham article

Done

Help!! There are so many choices I don't know where to go to comment on the article about Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper. I was actually looking to see what you had for Elizabeth Needham the First Fleet convict, and I was intrigued to see that Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper had the Earl of Winchelsea as a client. Was he the son or the husband of Lady Charlotte Finch? Elizabeth Needham the convict was born in 1762 Elizabeth Gore, the daughter of George Gore and his wife Elizabeth nee Lake. George was the coachman to Lady Charlotte Finch and Elizabeth their daughter, was brought up in their house. Elizabeth Gore married Henry Needham, a butcher, on 11 Feb 1782 and they had a child. Shc was convicted of stealing two pairs of silk stockings and transported to Australia for seven years, where she served her sentence and married three more times, becoming a useful and very wealthy member of the new colony. Having seen your article, I'm wondering if this Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper could have been Elizabeth Gore's mother-in-law? Is there anything known about her possible children? Merilyn Pedrick Aldgate South Australia —Preceding unsigned comment added by 118.210.255.218 (talk) 02:17, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia has a reference desk (click WP:RD) for questions like this. Go there and click the Humanities link to ask your question. Dcs002 (talk) 11:22, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Popup camper

Done

Popup camper I created a new article about popup campers, a popular type of recreational vehicle. This is my first article, so advice is appreciated. Korey99 (talk) 15:06, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think overall it looks nice -- much better than my first article. Just three things: Did you license the photos properly? (They look great, illustrate the topic very well.) And did you mean to say AC to DC converters instead of DC to AC? (I'm not a camper -- I don't know. It's just that if they have deep cycle batteries and you want to run AC items, it would be the other way around. Again, I ask because I don't know.) Finally, just concerning visual appearance, it seems that most of the article space is taken up with lists. I personally think that makes it a bit clunky to read. Hope this helps! Dcs002 (talk) 10:56, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the help! The photos are all my own work, and I submitted them to Wikimedia commons. Only one of them got a request for "permission" though. The AC to DC is actually correct (it's a device to get DC power when plugged in). About the lists - Do you think I should collapse them into paragraph form? That is the way I originally had it. Thanks for all the comments! As an aside, I'd love if someone could help getting my image annotations to work on the article page, but I'll seek help through a more appropriate forum. --Korey99 (talk) 22:59, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well, remember I'm kinda new at editing too, but I think the lists of features would look better if they were trimmed down and put back into paragraph form, with sentences that give just a few examples at each level, such as "Low price models might include features such as..., while mid-range models might offer features like... For more extravagant amenities, such as..., customers can expect to pay top dollar." I don't think every available feature needs to be mentioned (though I'm sure there are more that you already left out). I'm just giving an opinion as a person who loves to read WP articles, not as someone with a lot of expertise in this kind of writing. And thanks for clarifying the AC to DC thing. :o) Good luck also with your photo annotations. I'm afraid I'm not the guy to ask. Dcs002 (talk) 14:21, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Cameron Knowles Show

Done

The Cameron Knowles Show Knowlamp (talk) 19:00, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A good draft article. I think it is ready to be moved into main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:55, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Are you serious that there's no page for the Bill O'Reilly show???? Xcviii (talk) 01:21, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sears Hometown Stores

Done

SearsHTS/Sears Hometown Stores

SearsHTS (talk) 22:03, 21 November 2009 (UTC) SearHTS November 21, 2009[reply]

Your draft article is not ready for main article space yet, because it has no sources. I have moved it back to your user space, User:SearsHTS/Sears Hometown Stores. In addition, your choice of user name indicates that you may have a conclict of interest when writing about this company, in which case it may be inappropriate for you to be writing this article at all. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:09, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Chandra Om

Hello,

This is the first page i have created, subject is Chandra Om User:Premandom/Chandra_om, a well-known teacher in Yoga circles. i am intersted if you think it needs any work, and what type before i try to post it for everyone to see. Thanks very much.

Premandom (talk) 23:30, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Good job on the article not being promotional, but aren't you in violation of the conflict of interests rules? Xcviii (talk) 01:16, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

μWatch

Done

I have just written a brief article on an unusual DIY watch called the User:NigelFraserKer/μWatch. I'm cautious about the fact that the name includes the symbol "μ" and therefore may cause problems with people searching for it...perhaps the title should be "μWatch or uWatch"?

NigelFraserKer (talk) 11:19, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

While this watch sounds fantastic, I'm afraid the article reads like an advertisement. That plus notability problems might easily make this an article for speedy deletion if moved to the main space. Dcs002 (talk) 14:27, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

When you say it reads like an advertisement, is there any guidance to make it sound less advert-like? (I deliberately avoided any subjective language - there are only facts.) I agree that it would be good to establish the notability better...I'll look into this one. NigelFraserKer (talk) 15:37, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

See WP:SPAM, WP:N and WP:RS. – ukexpat (talk) 22:58, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know if you've made changes since the last comment, but it seems very factual and non-advert-esque. However, until you bulk it up with some notability stuff, it is premature to publish. Xcviii (talk) 01:19, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Tarif Khalidi

Done

Tarif Khalidi Tarif Khalidi http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Angiebean1256/Tarif_Khalidi&oldid=327104465

Angiebean1256 (talk) 11:53, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A good article. I have removed the unreviewed tag. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:51, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Corby & Baily

I am looking for feedback and guidance on the above article on British Artists Corby and Baily.

Corby & Baily

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corby_%26_Baily

Many thanks. Mothas

(Mothas (talk) 18:07, 22 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

This reads like a resume. After reading it, I would not be able to tell a Corby & Bailey work if it hit me in the face. What movement does it belong to? What are their influences? Whom did they influence? How can their work be identified as opposed to that of other artists? Xcviii (talk) 01:14, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices

User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices is a draft of an article that I am writing about mesovortices, and I am looking for feedback on how it can be improved (I'm guessing by adding more sources, but what else?). Right now the article incorporates text from mesocyclone and Eye (cyclone)#Eyewall mesovortices, and will hopefully eventually be a main article for those two topics, rather than vice versa. Any and all input appreciated, Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 00:25, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, I'm not finding it. --SPhilbrick T 17:56, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Camp Mar-Y-Mac

Done

This is the first article I have ever posted. It is based on original research about a camp that I attended and worked at which fell prey to a growth-driven hydroelectric project. Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_Mar-Y-Mac_Dinkey_Creek,_California The article title is Camp Mar-Y-Mac Dinkey Creek, California

I would greatly appreciate feedback; one question I have is why does the last part of the article appear unformatted in a box--is it too long? Thanks. Dulcie Chatwood Dulcie2c (talk) 01:49, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have removed the unreviewed tag. I have also fixed the formatting problem that you mentioned - if you start a paragraph with a space then Wikipedia does not wrap the text in the paragraph. Easily fixed by removing initial spaces in paragraphs. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:00, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have moved the article to Camp Mar-Y-Mac - the location is not necessary in the title. I have also removed the personal recollections as references. Personal recollections are not reliable sources as defined on Wikipedia. I also have concerns about notability generally. Only a couple of the sources cited would appear to be relevant to the notability of the camp, as opposed to the ups and downs of the hydroelectric project, so I think we need more sources dealing with the camp itself. – ukexpat (talk) 18:38, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If there are any court cases involving the camp, that might be a good notability reason (public record) to maintain this page. Xcviii (talk) 01:11, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

North Wilkesboro Fire Department

Done

Looking for feedback on a new page relating to the User:Nwfd/North_Wilkesboro_Fire_Department. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Nwfd (talk) 05:39, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think you have some notability issues here. Please read WP:ORG, WP:FAQO and WP:RS - in order to meet notability requirements you will need to show significant coverage in reliable sources, the FD's own website doesn't count I am afraid. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Jonathan Westhues

Done

Jonathan Westhues http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Westhues

This entry needs to be reviewed to update its "new, unreviewed" status. Thanks.

Wkp123 (talk) 11:30, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think that an article about a person should be biographical, and thus it should have a section on early life and family life, education, stuff like that. Not just a curriculum vita (or resume). I've got many more academic publications than that, & I'm certainly not notable. He seems marginally notable -- I can't say one way or the other. Good luck! Dcs002 (talk) 14:44, 23 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Mautner Project

Any feedback is greatly appreciated: [[1]] (Actsoccer (talk) 17:45, 24 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

I see two issues. The first is Notability . Most of your references are to the project itself or other sites not qualifying as reliable sources. You do have some references which I think qualify, but they barely mention the organization. I fear that this article might not survive if it does not have better references.

The second point is easier to address. The footnoting style is not standard within WP. You can look at footnotes for help. Also, I personally find it very helpful to use the optional citation gadget. To install, go to "My preferences", select the rightmost tab "Gadgets", the check the box next to refTools (in the Editing gadgets section). Once installed, it will add a new button "Cite" to your editing toolbar. Click on it to add a citation. Makes it much easier.--SPhilbrick T 18:25, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sears Hometown Stores (2)

Done

Sears Hometown Stores

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sears_Hometown_Stores

Shaunak Dave Nov 24, 2009Shaunakhdave (talk) 18:34, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It is still way too spammy and has been tagged for speedy deletion. Please read WP:YFA, WP:CORP, WP:FAQO, WP:RS and WP:SPAM. – ukexpat (talk) 18:49, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This page reads as if I'm reading off the sears.com website.. didn't check, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's copy-pasted considering the first-person style. Find outside sources and make the article neutral instead of promoting Sears so much (Actsoccer (talk) 19:05, 24 November 2009 (UTC))[reply]

Temple Touch Thermometer

Done

I could really use someone's help editing the User:Grchapman5/Temple Touch Thermometer page I have created. I have done the best I can to ensure that the article is written from a neutral perspective devoid of any sales bias. Any and all comments you guys could send my direction would be great as I want to launch the page soon without running the risk of speedy deletion. Thanks in advance for your help.

Sincerely,

Graham Chapman <e-mail redacted> Grchapman5 (talk) 19:22, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

We still have some big issues here. The draft still reads like a promotional piece for the product and its manufacturer and I suspect that, had it been in the mainspace, it would not have survived the speedy deletion nomination. Are you associated with 919 Marketing Company and if so, does that company provide marketing services for this product? If so, you have a huge conflict of interest and are directed to read WP:COI. In addition, the images in the article that have been uploaded to Commons do not show any evidence of permission from the copyright owner and have been tagged as such. If this product really is notable someone will write an article about it sooner or later. Please also take a look at WP:YFA, WP:CORP, WP:FAQO and WP:RS. – ukexpat (talk) 20:01, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Seriously...this needs a lot of work. You need to omit all references to where it can be purchased and who markets it. Imagine you are describing the device to somebody who has never heard about it. That's what your article should say. You should also say how it works/science behind it, and whether it has been FDA approved (or whatever agency). You should also cite links to newspaper articles talking about why this device is important. You also need to delete the promotional section about Medism. Xcviii (talk) 01:06, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Grooming Lounge

Done

User:Bluelinenine/Grooming Lounge is an article that I recently posted and I'm looking for feedback.

Thanks, Adam

Bluelinenine (talk) 21:53, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think your draft article needs more third party sources to demonstrate notability. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:31, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Corinne Kempa

Done

Corinne Kempa

[[2]]

Andybuiadh (talk) 22:13, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article is very short. It needs to be longer, and it needs to show that this actress is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:32, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Shared Hope International

Done

I just created a page for User:Karinandrew/Shared Hope International and was wondering if anyone could look at it and give me feedback or tips. Thanks!! Karinandrew (talk) 22:31, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article is looking good. I think it is ready to be moved to main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:36, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Social Security Statement

Social Security Statement Jamesalunsford (talk) 00:08, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Draft article is at: User:Jamesalunsford/Social Security Statement. – ukexpat (talk) 00:36, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:GregBeaver/Chiara Quartet

Done

User:GregBeaver/Chiara Quartet User:GregBeaver/Chiara Quartet

GregBeaver (talk) 06:31, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Not a bad attempt. I think this could go into the mainspace with just a little bit of work. I did not see articles on quartets that are highly assesed but it looks like you might have shown that the general notability guidelines are met.

Sources

More coverage such as this review to assert notability. Sources like this will improve the article. Without these, notability is questionable.
cdbaby.com and smsclassical.com really are not appropriate reliable sources. Since they are sales, it comes across promotional which gets new articles deleted.
Throw the citations into templates. See [Wikipedia:Citing sources/example style|examples]]. For reviews, Template:Cite news is a good template.

Layout

The layout needs to be changed. See Wikipedia:Layout.
The lead should be a summary. The lead should not go into any detial that is not expanded upon in the main body. Try moving most of that into a new "History" section. The following section could go into that section as paragraphs or subsections as well.
The discography should be part of a "Works" section which should come after the prose and before the "References". I recommend taking it out of the table and putting it in the format seen here A good format is:

Title (year), label – notes

The external links needs to be trimmed. See what should be linked, maybe linked, and not linked. For example: The Brick, Kansas City does not provide a unique resource needed in this article. The line in the body is sufficient.
Other

"In this and the following season, the quartet will be performing all 16 of Ludwig van Beethoven's string quartets at Harvard University, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Music at Deerfield in Northampton, MA.": This isn't their webpage. It is an encyclopedic article so watch out for promotion. Something like this could be in but needs to be worded as if it was not going to be updated "In the 2009 and 2010,..." See Wikipedia:Manual of Style#Chronological items.
I'm not terribly familiar with the topic. What is "Quartet-in-residence". Write the article so that those unfamiliar with the topic can fully grasp the subject. Wikilinks might help, too.
This] is a good mention from a critic. OK for the article but should not be in an "Award" section.
"Club Premieres project." does not need to be bolded. See Wikipedia:Manual of Style (text formatting). There are other minor things that I can grab if you want. Years need en dashes for example (2009–2010)

Cptnono (talk) 00:19, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Chandka Medical College

Done

Chandka Medical College i have wriiten this article for first time, plz check wether the Refrences i have given are considerable or not. i should also mention here that i myself am a student f Chandka Medical College. Dr.Schayan (talk) 10:22, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article at User:Dr.Schayan/new article name here still needs a lot of work. You need to improve the grammar and spelling in the article. You need to improve its layout and format - look at how other Wikipedia article are formatted, and try to make yours look the same. Most importantly, you need to provide references to third party sources which demonstrate the notability of the college; a single link to the college's own website is not enough to show notability. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:05, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Jewel Kid

Done

Requests for feedback on new article Jewel Kid please

Xer014 (talk) 11:14, 25 November 2009 (UTC) xer014 25/11/09 Xer014 (talk) 11:14, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article has been speedily deleted as spam. Please see WP:Spam. – ukexpat (talk) 18:40, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

3CX Phone System

Done

Hi - I have created this page User:Voipguy/3CX_Phone_System I am aware of notability and so have included articles published by leading computer magazines about it. I would appreciate any feedback users might have about this page. Voipguy (talk) 11:52, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

My concern is that it looks like you were so worried about proving notability that you listed why it was notable in the lead and nothing else. You have the information available so I would take those lines in the lead and summarize those sources in the main body in a way that lets the reader know more than just the definition of the product. Expand the article with sections. Lead is summary of the article and sections going into detail. Info that would be useful includes when was it made, why was it made, by who, prevalence in the market place, info from reviews that is both positive and negative, etc. This article is nto to be written for potential customers. Write it with less reliance on the wikilinks to technical terms to give and provide more information than what would be found at a marketing page. An article coming across as blatant advertising (intentional or not) is just as bad as one not meeting the guidelines to some editors and they are often deleted in a knee jerk fashion.

It also appears that the image is up for deletion due to lack of copyright info.

Take a look at Wikipedia:WikiProject Computing, Wikipedia:WikiProject Telecommunications, and descendent projects for some ideas on articles that are rated a little higher on the assessment scale.Cptnono (talk) 10:36, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Cptnono thank you for this feedback - this is extremely useful. I will work on improving the article on those lines and then repost it here for feedback Voipguy (talk) 06:07, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Dynamic Language

Done

Dynamic Language

The article is based on a communications company based in Seattle, WA. They focus on translations and etc. Their article should asses their credibility. Thank you for helping edit this page!

DynamicDLC (talk) 14:49, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article has been proposed for deletion. – ukexpat (talk) 18:26, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Richard H. Bernstein

Done

I just wrote my first Wikipedia entry on Richard H. Bernstein after seeing him speak at a conference earlier in the month. Any feedback that you could offer for improving this piece would be most appreciated! --Edtechgal (talk) 15:24, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed and removed the "unreviewed" template. It does still read a little like a curriculum vitae, so the tone may need some work. – ukexpat (talk) 18:49, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JanaDixon/ipodmeister

Hi there! I wrote this article on a company I heard about on the news. I've tried to write it once before and it came across too advertisment like I suppose. I was hoping to get some feedback to make it acceptable for wikipedia. Thanks for any help!

JanaDixon (talk) 18:09, 25 November 2009 (UTC)JanaDixon 11/25/09[reply]

At the moment the tone is still too promotional in my view so the tone will need some work before it is moved to the mainspace. – ukexpat (talk) 18:56, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I revised the article and added a picture. I think. I'm still a little confused and I have 12 windows open with different guides. Is it still too promotional? Thanks again!

JanaDixon (talk) 16:09, 2 December 2009 (UTC) JanaDixon 12/2/09[reply]

I think in order for this to be sufficiently nonpromotional, you need to think of it as a page to explain another page. Such as, if there is a general social movement towards bartering/recycling, you could talk about this group in that context, and provide links to the main wiki page talking about that movement. As long as all the article does is talk about a company or group and its objectives/goals/projects, it's not an encyclopedia article; it's a promotional item. Xcviii (talk) 00:59, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

user:emiliephelps/Daniel Lorenzetti

I've created a page about the documentary photographer Daniel Lorenzetti at user:emiliephelps/Daniel Lorenzetti, who is an author of The Birth of Coffee. I'm not sure if all aspects of his career are considered notable (his contributions to the technology and the internet seem worthy in my opinion), or just his documentary work. I'm ready to hear any and all feedback! Thanks, Emiliephelps (talk) 19:17, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Combustion Chemical Vapor Deposition

Done

User:Aartich/ Combustion Chemical Vapor Deposition Aartich (talk) 22:44, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Someone else has already added a notice that it reads like an advertisement. I concur. I see no evidence Notability referenced to reliable sources.--SPhilbrick T 19:50, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Mcs102/Zina Saro-Wiwa

Done

Hello,

I am looking for feedback for an article I have created as a subpage (User:Mcs102/Zina Saro-Wiwa). I've read the tutorials and help pages, and would like to hear if there is anything I should do before moving the article to a public page.

Thanks very much.

Mcs102 (talk) 23:58, 25 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed the draft and I think it is ready to move to the main space. Let me know if you need assistance with this. Also, some additional third party references will be necessary - when it's moved it will be tagged as requiring additional sources. – ukexpat (talk) 19:16, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I moved it for you to Zina Saro-Wiwa. – ukexpat (talk) 18:50, 2 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Complication

Done

The problem remains at least for me and a few other people is that Wikipedia blocks are insufficient. It's very easy to find an open proxy list and change your proxy server and port number in a matter of minutes. Thanks! South Bay (talk) 00:57, 26 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is not the correct forum for this discussion, please try WP:VPP. – ukexpat (talk) 19:17, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Linnda Durré

Done

Linnda Durré Just want some advice on how I can improve it. Thanks. User:Tnegron14/Linnda Durré --Tnegron14 (talk) 04:17, 26 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have taken a look at the draft and I think the subject probably meets our notability guidelines. However, the article should be broken down into sections - please peruse WP:LAYOUT and WP:MOSBIO. The article also requires some third party reliable sources to support notability. – ukexpat (talk) 19:24, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Russian Scientist Valery Dudyshev

Hello. I am new to Wikipedia and wrote an article about Russian scientist Valery Dudyshev. As of now, I left the entry on my talk page User:Ruye and I would appreciate it, if you could take a look at it and see if it meets Wikipedia's criteria. I am very grateful for your help. Thank you very much! Ruye (talk) 21:02, 26 November 2009 (UTC) Ruye[reply]

Hello once more. Since I don't want to add to the long list of entries, I'll just attach this to the first question. The article I wrote is now published under Valery Dudyshev and I would really appreciate some feedback. Thank you very much in advance. Ruye (talk) 19:33, 3 December 2009 (UTC)Ruye[reply]

Naz Foundation v. National Capital Territory of Delhi

Done

Naz Foundation v. National Capital Territory of Delhi

Hi, I noticed that this important recent decision was linked on several Wikipedia pages, but no article exists as yet. I have tried to scrupulously follow Wikipedia guidelines, but since this is my first full length article, I may have gone astray. I would be really grateful for any feedback. Thanks in advance! Sroyon (talk) 21:52, 26 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Congratulations on your first full length article. Better than my first attempt for sure! A few things:

There is already a Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code article. Do you think the case deserves its own article or would it be better merged? I think that this amount of of content may disrupt the weight of the main article and I have been surprised before at how well legal articles come together. however, it looks like there is the risk of the articles duplicating themselves to a certain extent. That would be the only barrier to it going into the main space that I can see so I'll leave that up to you.
It looks like you accidentally said the exact opposite f what you meant (or this is some new sort of vandalism ;) ) with "This phrase was interpreted to mean all forms of sexual activity other than homosexual penile-vaginal." did you mean "heterosexual" Try: "...heterosexual penile-vaginal intercourse".
Is "160 (2009) DLT 277" the appropriate citation template? I don't recognize the format.
Do you have the sources available to add an "Arguments" section? It seems to be lacking content since it jumps from Background to Judgment.
The blockquote may not be long enough for a blockquote (see: WP:MOSQUOTE) but I'm not sure.
"It should be noted..." is something to avoid (see WP:EDITORIAL). Don't note it just say it.
"Activists[15],..." should be "Activists,[15]...".

I'm sure there are other minor things but I feel the biggest next step is adding some content to the actual legal proceedings. I personally wouldn't object to this going live. Consider taking a look at the best of the best (according to WikiProject Law's Category:FA-Class legal articles) and some of the other cases seen at Category:GA-Class legal articles. Consider checking out [Wikipedia:WikiProject Law/Assessment]] if this is moved into the main space.Cptnono (talk) 04:01, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for your kind words and your meticulous and helpful feedback. It is extremely appreciated. I will address your suggestions in order:

I think the decision was important enough to merit a separate article. I'll just take your advice and move it into mainspace, and let's see what the community thinks.
Whoops! Huge blooper. Corrected that.
Sorry about that. I am now using the citation template for court decisions.
I have lots of sources for an "Arguments" section; I didn't add it only because I feared it might make the article too long and tedious. However, since you advise it, I will add the section.
I have removed the blockquote formatting.
Changed that too.

I'm moving it to mainspace now. Thanks again!Sroyon (talk) 10:00, 2 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nicolas Peyrac

Hi all. I have just written my first new article, about the French musician Nicolas Peyrac. See talk page for remarks and questions I have. Thanks in advance for reviewing. Jalwikip (talk) 08:26, 27 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

mainspace:Rapid Tears - the History of

Mainspace:Rapid Tears - the History of

Requesting feedback please

Michael J. Miller 18:00, 27 November 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mickstars5 (talk • contribs)

Environmental Health Foundation of Canada (EHFC)

Done

Environmental Health Foundation of Canada (EHFC) Hello to all you great volunteers. I am trying to post this information and I keep going around in circles. I guess I have to edit a few more in order to be able to post it. Can you please tell me if this is an acceptable addition. I am Vice chair of the foundation and a volunteer as well. And learning how to do this. I need to report back to the others if it is not acceptable. Thank you for your time. --Shenwiki (talk) 19:11, 27 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I did not read it, but in general it's "dangerous" to edit on a subject you are closely connected or linked with, as it may cloud your NPOV. I would say that a vice chair is never a good judge of a NPOV. Also, you may be prone to include original/own research. Jalwikip (talk) 14:55, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Zameer_Rizvi

Just correcting the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Samuel.chaudry1/Zameer_Rizvi —Preceding unsigned comment added by Samuel.chaudry1 (talk • contribs) 22:31, 27 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi,

I have written an article about musician Zameer Rizvi Zameer_Rizvi. I would appreciate your feedback.

User:Samuel.chaudry1/Zameer_Rizvi

Thanks, Samuel

Samuel.chaudry1 (talk) 21:10, 27 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Not bad. Xcviii (talk) 00:55, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

article name: American Feud: A History of Conservatives and Liberals

Helpful, constructive feedback of the article: American Feud: A History of Conservatives and Liberals appreciated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Guptaft/American_feud:_a_history_of_conservatives_and_liberals

thanks! Guptaft (talk) 21:16, 27 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

German Gymnasium http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gymnasium_(Germany)

Gymnasium (Germany) So that would be very kind of you if you could proof the article and tell me: 1. If that article makes sense to you 2. If you have questions about the school that have not been answered by the article 3. If I should add some stuff about scientific studies dealing with the Gymnasium. Recently a lot of studies about Gymnasium and social class have been done and this is a "hot topic" in my home country... but I am not sure if that is so interesting for people from other countries and I already covered it in the article (did not cover the studies, but covered what political parties said about Gymnasium and social class). Thank you very much.--212.201.83.59 (talk) 21:37, 27 November 2009 (UTC) PS: That article was not written by me. I only contributed to it.--212.201.83.59 (talk) 21:39, 27 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Would be also nice if you could tell me, if I prensented both sides in a fair light, when I wrote about that political discussion.--212.201.83.59 (talk) 22:26, 27 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Forgotten Fish Memory Orchestra

please can you provide feedback and guidance on this page. Forgotten Fish Memory Orchestra (FFMO) have been a notable phenomenon in Global Music and art theatre in the Netherlands and throughout Europe for the last ten years. Can you let me know if the article as it stands shows notability? If so and it can be made a Wiki page how do I upload images? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Vidura108 (talk • contribs) 03:25, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Le Butcherettes

Done

Le Butcherettes Please provide feedback for this page. It's a Mexican underground rock-punk band growing in the Mexican scene. I use references mostly from important Mexican Newspapers and official sites from a music fest and some Awards, one known blog from Red Bull and a photo page from a known photographer from Mexico. Of course they're all in spanish. The importance of this band also relies on being directly linked with three other bands artists known all over the world and might be interesting to lots of people. Thanks!

CarlosOm (talk) 03:38, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Consider adding a "Musical style" section from information in the current "History" section. Joy Division and Tool (band) are FA class articles and have variances of such a section. For additional FA articles related to bands check out Tool (band). See the best of the best at Category:FA-Class Rock music articles for ideas on how to improve your layout. Nice work following a decent layout, already, though.
It could be argued that the general notability guideline or (if necessary) the band specific notability guideline are not met. Sources need improvement. More are needed to both assert notability and expand the article. I also recommend finding some English sources if you can since it will make verification easier and editors will be less likely to call for deletion.

Blogs are typically not OK. They can be OK if writers are professionals and the blog is subject to appropriate vetting from an editorial staff. See Wikipedia:Reliable sources#Self-published and questionable sources and double-check to see if this is really a proper source
The same La Jornada is used twice. Add "ref name" in the citation template. Speaking of citation templates, use them. See: Wikipedia:Referencing for beginners
Does indieomusicawards.com.mx say they are the most prestigious award? Wording like that needs an independent source or a wikilink to a sourced article about the award.
tono.tv looks like pretty pictures but is not a good source
I assume El Universal (Mexico City) and La Jornada are OK but I don't speak Spanish and a few more should be provided to ensure that there is significant coverage.

It could use some grammar and spell check work. I changed "recluted" to "recruited" (I assumed let me know if that is wrong) and noticed that it doesn't read as clean as it could. For example: "A difference on the band's direction led Auryn Jolene to abruptly leave the band claiming the end of it leading to media confusion." is a little jumbled.
Per WP:ELNO, links to social networking sites are to be avoided. Cptnono (talk) 11:40, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Moved discussion to Talk:Le Butcherettes Cptnono (talk) 12:42, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Request for review of highly time-sensitive content for LGBT community tradition

Done

I am a new user and after taking the time to do a lot of research I finally created a page for the bridge of light, the gay new year.

But your system said I couldn't upload it because it was an autobiography!

What's up?

I moved it to a user page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bridgeoflight/Bridge_of_light

Thanks for taking a look & letting me know if this is ready for publishing. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bridgeoflight (talk • contribs) 09:52, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please find sources independent of the subject to assert notability. For something like this, I would recommend doing some google news archive searches to see if significant coverage is available from newspapers, magazines, or other reputable sources. It also comes across like a fan page with the list of principles. There are also concerns with general formatting, especially the citations. Take a look at Wikipedia:Your first article. You mentioned it in your edit summary so keep in mind that there is not a legitimate reason for this to be time sensitive. Best of luck and please let me know if you need a hand with reviewing sources.

Sign your posts with 4 of these:~~~~. Cptnono (talk) 10:18, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Fastflow (Computer Science)

Please take a look at Fastflow (Computer Science) article. It needs reveiewing by someone other than myself. Fastflow is a C++ template library implementing lock-free communications and synchronisations. Fastflow-based applications are particularly fast on multi-core machine. We tested it against may programming environment for multi-core, including OpenMP, Intel TBB, Posix threads, Cilk. In our experiments, Fastflow always demonstrated to be faster than all of them. Any question or comment is welcome.

Aldinuc (talk) 16:27, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Shield349/Greensulate

Done

Greensulate : User:Shield349/Greensulate Hey I would like to get some helpful feedback on that page, My previous post had quite a tragic fate, so i'm trying to make sure i get everything right this time around.

Shield349 (talk) 19:06, 28 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I put a reply on your talk page Richard-of-Earth (talk) 18:54, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Lets_Play_Live

Done

User:Axikal/Lets_Play_Live

Axikal (talk) 23:37, 28 November 2009 (UTC) The following is my first attempt at posting a Wikipedia article. It's about a webshow series that I've been hosting, and gives a brief (and soon to be elabourated) account on the creation of the series, where the series can be seen, and any other details about said series. I'd like to know what could be refined on this page, if possible. Thanks.[reply]

You need to establish notability of the subject. See also WP:ORG and WP:FAQO.
For people who know little about the internet, your article would be confusing. Internal links would help, so they could read about things mentioned like Web series, live-streaming, Perhaps you need to create an article about "Let's Play" genre of gaming internet movies as I can't figure out what it is. Richard-of-Earth (talk) 19:20, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If it is moved to the mainspace in its current form it would almost certainly be speedily deleted as not showing the importance or significance of the subject matter. – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

DJ Frank E

Done

DJ Frank E User:Chrismarez/DJ Frank E Looking for feedback on this article before I request it to be moved. Any help is appreciated.

Chrismarez (talk) 01:24, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I cleaned it up a little, but you will need some better sources - blogs are not generally regarded as reliable sources per WP:RS. If notability can be supported by better sources, I will move it for you. – ukexpat (talk) 17:36, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

And there is still a potential copyvio issue - the text is very close to http://artistpublishinggroup.com/djfranke/ – ukexpat (talk) 17:40, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Peter Grubb, Jr.

This article is IMO ready to go live. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

LynnSGrubb (talk) 04:17, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:LynnSGrubb/Peter Grubb, Jr. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Jehu Grubb

Jehu Grubb is ready to go live. Any comments to improve it would be appreciated.

LynnSGrubb (talk) 04:18, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looking forward to get help for improvment of this article. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 195.229.235.40 (talk) 06:57, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:LynnSGrubb/Jehu Grubb – ukexpat (talk) 17:16, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Society for Mormon Philosophy and Theology

Done

Society for Mormon Philosophy and Theology is ready to go live. Any comments are welcome; I was a DMOZ editor over ten years ago, and am rusty.

Of note: I do not like the way I linked internal pages of the same website for such a small article, so if there is a Best Practice to avoid this, please advise.

Thanks!

Wr!ter (talk) 07:07, 29 November 2009 (UTC)wr!ter[reply]

At the moment the draft says nothing about the notability of the subject. Please take a look at WP:ORG and WP:FAQO. You will need some reliable, third party, sources per WP:RS to establish notability. – ukexpat (talk) 17:12, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Zebra_Mix!

Done

Hello,

Clearly, this is my first attempt here, and I don't think I've even entered the article title correctly, but I don't understand the directions. I apologize in advance for any confusion.

User:Ndaley/Zebra Mix!

Any and all constructive criticism is very welcome.

I plan on adding a picture and a chart with the basic company overview: founders names, contact info, logo, industry, etc... but have not figured out how to do that yet.

Thank You!!

Ndaley (talk) 08:38, 29 November 2009 (UTC)NDaley 11/29/09[reply]

At the moment the draft is way too promotional in tone and does not state how or why the subject is notable - please see WP:CORP and WP:FAQO. You will need to cite reliable sources to support claims of notability. – ukexpat (talk) 16:51, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:KevinBTheobald/CFEOM

Done

This is my first crack at Wikipedia writing (it's not live yet), so apologies if I missed something. I just wrote a brief summary because there are good definitive sources on the web; I summarized and gave links and references to those sources. That would probably be better than my trying to rewrite their papers. What do you think? KevinBTheobald (talk) 10:31, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please, rewrite their papers! I'm thinking articles should be complete on Wikipedia. But you can create this as a stub for others to contribute to. (See WP:Stub) Put the template {{genetic-disorder-stub}} at or close to the end. Also, the title should be the full name, not the abbreviation. See MOS:ABBR to see how to make a redirect page from the abbreviation to the main page. Richard-of-Earth (talk) 19:56, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Xer014_/Jewel_Kid

Done

Feedback on this article is much appreciated please :)) Thanks

11:01, 29 November 2009 (UTC)Xer014 (talk)

Same issues as last time: it's too promotional in tone; it has layout and formatting issues (see WP:MOS and WP:LAYOUT); it has too may images (and they have problems themselves, see the tags added to the image information pages on Commons). – ukexpat (talk) 16:35, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

whats the best way to add images? should I remove them from Commons and upload them another way?

I will take some off from the article and re-arange the wording again. Thanks Xer014 (talk) 10:01, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The requirements for using copyright images on Wikipedia are set out here: WP:NFCC - if the images do not meet those criteria (and copyright images of living people rarely do) they should not be uploaded and used on Wikipedia. So if you cannot show permissions to use the images that you have uploaded to Commons, the article will have to be "imageless". – ukexpat (talk) 20:47, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

wiki: Izzat Traboulsi

Done

Hello, thanks in advance for your help. My questions are: How do i include a table of contents? How do i add my page in a portal: Category:Politicians? and for some reason when i search for the wiki without caps eg. "Izzat traboulsi" it does not find the article. As for the content, i know there is not much references, so i need a little time to gather sources. I would appreciate any other feedback and help with formatting. Thanks

Izzat_Traboulsi —Preceding unsigned comment added by Kartra (talk • contribs) 14:48, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You need to break up the article into sections. The TOC will be automatically generated when the article has at least 3 sections. I have added some relevant categories for you. – ukexpat (talk) 16:48, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Kids4Trees

Kids4Trees Sredner598 (talk) 14:53, 29 November 2009 (UTC) November 29, 2009[reply]

I am afraid that I have tagged the article for speedy deletion as the article does not indicate why the subject is important or significant. It's also rather promotional in tone. – ukexpat (talk) 16:29, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done

RBF Morph

Hi all. I have prepared a draft about a new software RBF Morph. As the author of the software I'm not sure to have the right point of view for describing it; I have used the description of similar software as guideline. Thanks. MEB71 (talk) 17:12, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Hbfree/Russell W Freeburg

I would appreciate feedback on my posting on User:Hbfree/Russell W Freeburg

Thank you.

--Hbfree (talk) 00:48, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Your links section is empty (except for the placeholder). I'm sure the author has a website. Or perhaps you could post a link to his book. Xcviii (talk) 00:47, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

BTW...I just noticed you are posting about yourself. That is against the posting rules. Xcviii (talk) 00:48, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Micskeiz/SecureChange

I created a wikipage for our research projects, I would appreciate some feedback on it: User:Micskeiz/SecureChange

Thanks, Micskeiz (talk) 10:18, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You say "our projects"; what is your connection to SecureChange? --Orange Mike | Talk 02:29, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm a researcher working on that project. For this reason I tried to add external references to scientific papers to support every claim in the article. Let me know if you think there is a notability problem, or something is not properly backed up by external references. Micskeiz (talk) 09:02, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Laura Hamilton

Created a page on Nickelodeon Presenter Laura Hamilton wanted a simple subject for my first article. User:Rgjjunior/Laura Hamilton. Thanks, Rgjjunior (talk) 12:00, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Lisaanimal/NEADS/Dogs for Deaf and Disabled Americans

This is a request to review the draft page for NEADS/Dogs for Deaf and Disabled Americans. Your feedback on whether this article meets Wikipedia's requirements is appreciated.

Thanks, Lisa

--Lisaanimal (talk) 15:44, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It reads like an advertisement for the charity. I would like to see more about the historical significance of the company. Was it part of an international movement? Are there any famous events/people associated with it? Did it spark something other than itself? I think that as-is it violates the terms, but you could turn it into a valid page. Xcviii (talk) 00:46, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

American Songwriter (magazine)

Request feedback for http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Remyrb/American_Songwriter_%28magazine%29

User:Remyrb/American_Songwriter_(magazine)

Remyrb (talk) 21:01, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Why is it important? Are there any historical events involving it? Xcviii (talk) 00:43, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

BodyFit Wellness

I would appreciate feedback on this article. Thanks in advance for your time and effort.

User:Rumorad/BodyFit-Wellness by Coni Judge

Rumorad (talk) 22:57, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

So not appropriate. Buy yourself a webpage. Xcviii (talk) 00:42, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Tongal

I would appreciate some feedback regarding the following article Tongal.

Thank you for your time and effort.

Fightonfortroy (talk) 00:38, 1 December 2009 (UTC) 11/30/09 fightonfortroy[reply]

This article does not appear to meet the general notability guideline or the company specific guideline. You need significant coverage in secondary sources. Such sources must be reliable, and independent of the subject. The sources that at first look to have promise due to who they are (such as Wired or BusinessWeek ) are about crowdsourcing and not Tongal. It also appears to be more promotional than encyclopedic. Please provide that or the article may be deleted. Customers such as Lending Tree are not appropriate sources to establish notability. PC Mag looks to be a step in the right direction. Formatting wise, bold is misused, citations are duplicated, there is no lead, etc. This should all be addressed after notability is established.Cptnono (talk) 02:36, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Philliton/Draft_of_Refugees_in_Nepal

This article is about refugees living in Nepal, a subject that gets a considerable amount of media attention, but is barely mentioned by any Wikipedia article.

Its my first article and will undoubtedly contain errors, but I've done my best to read the guidelines and make this concise, well-referenced, objective, and notable.

Thanks in advance for your time!

Philliton (talk) 05:55, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Pdxgroup/LED Tattoo - New Article for a Class Project

Hi everyone,

We are (username: pdxgroup) a 4 person group from Portland State University and an requirement of the class we are currently taking is to create a new article or add substantial content to an existing article on Wikipedia. Our group has chosen the topic of LED Tattoo; which is a new and upcoming technology. It is a interesting article and our group needs some feedback on the new article we created.

Here's a link to a page named LED Tattoo

We would greatly appreciate your assistance. Thank you!

pdxgroup 10:24, 1 December 2009 (UTC) pdxgroup —Preceding unsigned comment added by Pdxgroup (talk • contribs)

Since group accounts are not permitted here, I've had to block this account. I've tagged the article itself for some of its problems. --Orange Mike | Talk 16:11, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It will be helpful for you to read Wikipedia:School and university projectsSPhilbrick T 22:53, 2 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That is a really cool topic. I am glad you guys posted it (even if a group account is not permitted). I guess one of you can just repost it under your own name. This article is screaming for a photo. Xcviii (talk) 00:41, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

webceo

Webceo User:Pellacia/webceo

Hello everyone, I need some feedback on the article about a developer of the software Web CEO. Any help will be appreciated

Pellacia (talk) 12:27, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Shilpa Architects

Shilpa Architects User:Rasikar/Shilpa Architects

I am trying to write an article about an architecture firm from India that is part of our class project. I am a newbie to authoring articles on wikipedia and any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Rasikar (talk) 12:33, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

So not appropriate. Buy yourself a webpage.

Xcviii (talk) 00:40, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Can you please guide to help me make it more appropriate? It would be very helpful to have your comments/edits/modifications/omissions to make it more suitable. These architects already have a web page but i drafted the article by researching what was available about them and their work, mainly from third party internet sites/media reports but I did refer to their website as well. The objective for my class project is for each student to create a profile and develop a case-study of contemporary foreign architects and urban planners. My hope is that a wikipedia article about my choice of firm will be part of my final project report. Thanks in advance for your help.

Rasikar (talk) 09:52, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Neveln/Anthony Morse

Done

I can't find the draft of a submission that I was working on. I used the save button while in the Article Wizard but I had not confirmed my registration at that time(although I have since confirmed it). —Preceding unsigned comment added by Neveln (talk • contribs) 14:23, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately it was never saved and is lost unless the web browser screen you are using or still have open still has it in its memory and you can click back enough times to retrieve it. Your entire edit history is here and you have no deleted contributions. This can happen for a number of reasons, most commonly in my experience because a person has the edit screen open for a long time and when they click "save page" it says something like "there has been a loss of data session". My advice to you is to always highlight text you've been working on and save it to your computer's clipboard (ctrl+v) (or an offline document if a large amount of text) before submitting. Wish I had better news.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 14:31, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There is a draft in your user space at User:Neveln/Anthony Morse. I have taken a look at it and I think that it is ready to move to the mainspace, so I have done that for you - Anthony Morse. – ukexpat (talk) 15:20, 3 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Michelle Valentine (TV Host)

Michelle Valentine (TV Host) User:Michelle Valentine/Michelle Valentine (TV Host)

I'm looking for feedback regarding the article I have edited for Michelle Valentine the TV Host. She is not the same Michelle Valentine (author) that already has an article.

Michelle Valentine (talk) 20:07, 1 December 2009 (UTC)Hannah Farber[reply]

The draft does not indicate how or why Ms Valentine is notable per WP:BIO. Without reliable sources to evidence claims of notability, the draft is destined to be deleted if moved to the mainspace. If you are in some way connected to Ms Valentine, please also read WP:COI. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:25, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The alleged "television show" seems to be a YouTube channel and possibly public access program, best I can decipher from the seemingly deliberate vagueness. --Orange Mike | Talk 20:47, 1 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Soundwave Festival SF

Hello I appreciate any feedback on Soundwave Festival SF Soundwave Festival SF. It's super short and just a start. Many thanks Sweetsurly (talk) 00:16, 2 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Sweetsurly.

It looks like someone moved it to Soundwave Festival (San Francisco) per the naming conventions.
It is short but should be easy enough to expand upon with he amount of sources that appear (haven't gone through them yet) to be available. Keep in mind that the lead is supposed to be a summary of the article and then the article should be broken into subsections. I poked around for some highly assessed music festival articles but didn't come up with much. For inspiration and ideas on what layout works, take a look at other articles found at the List of music festivals (double check their status on each article's talk page before relying on it too much).
We do not follow branding when it is ALLCAPS. These should be reduced to sentence/title case in the references and auricle body. See MOS:ALLCAPS and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (trademarks)
Format the references. I prefer templates but you can do it by hand. Check out Wikipedia:Citing sources/example style.

Looks like there is a good base to expand upon so nice work.Cptnono (talk) 23:18, 2 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

CosmoGirl Toronto/Josie Dye

User: CosmoGirl Toronto/Josie Dye[[3]] I have written a new article for Josie Dye. She is already listed as one of CFNY's on-air personalities and shows up as a redirect for searches made on her name. The information currently listed is limited. I have created a main article for Josie Dye as was done for radio personality Alan Cross. I would appreciate any help in moving this page. CosmoGirl Toronto 22:08, 2 December 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by CosmoGirl Toronto (talk • contribs)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sarasepidzadeh/ShabnamRezaei

[[4]] user:sarasepidzadeh Sarasepidzadeh (talk) 01:22, 3 December 2009 (UTC) --Sarasepidzadeh (talk) 01:22, 3 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

mustardyellow/space2

user:Mustardyellow/space2

Hi

I've written an article about a company called space2 and I would like a review to see if it is likely to be deleted or if I need to add anything else, I've tried searching for online reliable sources for referencing, however I can only find 1. What else would I need to add to make it qualify or is it ok.

As I think have added more than dwell or Harveys_Furniture, although it is not as beefy as Ikea.

Thank you for your review

--Mustardyellow 09:39, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

I think you still have problems with notability. Please take a look at the guidance at WP:CORP and the kind of sources that we need to support notability per WP:RS. The single reference that you have (that I converted into an external link for now) is only a passing mention, we need significant coverage. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 15:09, 3 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Women of the Apocalypse

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Luthar28/Women_of_the_Apocalypse

Hi there, it's my first page so I'm wondering if it looks correct?

Luthar28 (talk) 18:04, 3 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If I were you, I would give a more complete description of the themes of the four stories, and then do a section on each where you write a brief summary. That would be more helpful than merely listing the stories.

Also, it would look a lot better if you would get the publisher to upload a picture, or if you would provide a direct link to the particular item(s) you discuss, as opposed to a generic link to the publisher's website.

Xcviii (talk) 00:32, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! The formatting and most of the information on your page are very good. However, some of the writing doesn't comply with the Manual of Style. For example, we usually try to avoid contractions ("there's" in the second sentence) and to write out numbers. I would also make sure that all of the sentences in the article are complete sentences. For example, the article reads that "Published in October 2009 by Absolute Xpress." This is good information, but it doesn't read like an encyclopedia. Instead, you might want to say "The anthology was..." or something similar.

Other than that, your main concern would be to add more information and more sources. Try to find outside sources if you can - a newspaper article on the anthology would be good. If you want a guideline for how these sorts of articles can be put together, you can look at the page for To Kill A Mockingbird, which is a Featured Article. (The article you're writing doesn't have to be nearly so long, though - there probably isn't as much to say!)

Annalise (talk) 00:37, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback. How would I add a picture and book info to this article? Specifically, I'm talking this type of format: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flashforward(novel)

Luthar28 (talk) 15:09, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

No problem! What you're looking for is the infobox for books, which is here. I found it by going to the WP:BOOK page. It might be useful for you; they have a lot of information about how to write articles on books, including an Article Template that you can use. Annalise (talk) 15:43, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Progress Party (Norway)

Hi, I think I have improved the article about the Progress Party (Norway) from being quite a mess, to something better. I just wondered if I could get some suggestions to how it eventually could be improved, in for instance style, and perhaps see if the article is worthy of more than a C-rating. -GabaG (talk) 19:21, 3 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Devisavit vel non

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:208.210.219.131/devisavit_vel_non

It is tough to write about legal issues without using direct quotes.

1. I am having a touch time finding information about the historical aspect of the cause of action. Do you think I should just publish it so that others can add to it?

2. What other information do you think is needed?

THANKS!!!

P.S. My username is XCVIII, but Wikipedia always makes it lowercase...which looks stupid. I disclaim any responsibility for the bad formatting.

Xcviii (talk) 00:26, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not a law person, so it's difficult for me to understand this article. If you want a lot of discussion on and help with it, you might be able to find a place to do so at WP:LAW. However, this also means that you might want to try to make the article a little bit more accessible to people who aren't familiar with law. (See WP:JARGON.) Sometimes, explaining all of the jargon in an article makes it too long and cluttered, but it seems like this article is going to be fairly short, so you shouldn't have too many problems doing that. Also, you made a tiny typo - Latin, in the first sentence, is supposed to be capitalized.

P.S. If you go to "my preferences," then to "signature," and type in your signature as you want people to see it, you should be able to get it capitalized.

I hope this was helpful! Annalise (talk) 00:58, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the info about the signature. I am going to add some links to other WP pages to clarify. XCVIII 01:38, 4 December 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Xcviii (talk • contribs)

Done

jstroudr/San Jacinto Valley

I created this article, however it is hard to find information on the geography, and climate. This valley is located in southern california, and contains around 50 sq. miles. I have done my best to find sources, so please give me feed back. San Jacinto Valley —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jstroudr (talk • contribs) 02:42, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

First of all, nice work. You've got a good start here - I especially like your use of photos. A few suggestions

Run the entire article through a spell-checker or, better yet, get someone else to look over it. I corrected a few spelling mistakes that stuck out at me, but I'm sure there are a few more that I missed and you just aren't seeing because you've looked over the article so many times.
Make sure to look for run-on sentences. You have quite a few in the article. For example, "The San Jacinto Valley as seen from the San Jacinto Mountains, the bright street in the middle is Florida Avenue in Hemet" is a run-on sentence. It needs to be made into two sentences.
Try to avoid statements about the future unless they can be sourced properly. For example, your sentence "The city will also be home to part of the Mid County Parkway, a new major transportation corridore in Riverside County." might be true, but you can't say it is unless it's sourced. See WP:CRYSTAL for more details about this.
If you want more to do, go to the Manual of Style, read down the list and make sure everything is compliant.

Hopefully this is helpful, and if you want more suggestions, feel free to ask either here or on my talk page. Annalise (talk) 15:30, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done

User:Nhollis1113/Natural Vibrations

I am new to Wikipedia and was hoping for feedback on my first article, User:Nhollis1113/Natural Vibrations. Nhollis1113 (talk) 05:20, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! Nice article! You can add categories (WP:CAT) like Category:Reggae musical groups and Category:Musical groups from Hawaii. It needs a bigger lead with highlights about the band. Go to those categories I just mention and check out their lead sections. You need to add the external links. (WP:EL#How to link)

I'm in favor of you moving this to the article section. Other people can then work on it and add to it. Richard-of-Earth (talk) 10:09, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

As a quick side note, you want to be careful about notability. A lot of articles about bands are submitted, and most don't meet the notability requirements. Check out WP:BAND and make sure that your article does. Annalise (talk) 14:59, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done

NEF (Notice of Electronic Filing) seeking feedback

I just created the page. Will take me a day or two to add more material. I am seeking feedback particularly from people with background in law, computers, or their intersection.InproperinLA (talk) 15:14, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I moved the article to Notice of Electronic Filing and did a litte clean up. – ukexpat (talk) 18:04, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Richard Isaac Fine

Seeking feedback.InproperinLA (talk) 15:16, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Rampart-FIPs (Falsely Imprisoned Persons)

seeking feedbackInproperinLA (talk) 15:18, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Seeking feedback for new article - SkiTAM

New user - first time submitter looking for feedback —Preceding unsigned comment added by Skitam (talk • contribs) 19:11, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Where did you create the article? The only edit that you have made with this username is the request you posted here. – ukexpat (talk) 20:15, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If you are planning to write about SkiTAM, please read the WP:USERNAME policy first, especially the point about promotional names.--SPhilbrick T 21:56, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

New Industrial Revolution

I would like some assistance in tightening up the article New Industrial Revolution. This article was deleted once and was just recently reinstated. If you would like the full history, you can check out my talk page ~ * ~ Blue Lunar Storm ~ * ~ (talk) 23:40, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am specifically interested in including more references to this movement, so that it is not on the chopping block again. This is an existing worldwide movement, and has been referred to by this name. Thank you!! ~ * ~ Blue Lunar Storm ~ * ~ (talk) 23:40, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am leaning towards requesting its deletion again to be honest with you. You might be better writing an article on the book Cradle to Cradle if it meets notability guidelines.

It appears to be similar to a neologism. It may not be an appropriate article. See Wikipedia:Avoid neologisms
Yes, it is sourced, but it looks like you used synthesis of published material that advances a position (WP:SYNTHESIS}. "New Industrial Revolution" does not appear in here or here for example. You need to find sources linking all of the subsections to the subject. If they don't even mention the subject you are publishing an essay (WP:NOT#ESSAY).
These are a couple lines that jumped out:

"The New Industrial Revolution will produce a world of abundance and good design - a delightful, safe world that our children can play in." We cannot tell the future
"At the heart of the New Industrial Revolution is a quantum leap in the way that humans think of the products that we purchase and consume. The traditional "cradle to grave" product lifecycle must be changed to a system of "cradle to cradle" product flow" I assume this is a direct line from the book. Quote it if it is. A little fluffy for a neutral encyclopedia so paraphrasing might be even better.
"An analogy of the shift in values can be drawn from such governmental agencies as the Army Corps of Engineers and their activities of the past two hundred years..." needs a citation from a reliable source.
"The destruction that comes from war is now being recognized as wasteful, expensive, and an ill-conceived method for achieving peace in our world" -by who?
"Looking back there is just the one model for development, the global economic development that we know." Again, more essay like writing not appropriate for encyclopedic text.
"Spacious fields of greenery and towering housing complexes in Chicago." I'm seeing a small city garden and some mid rises.

Biomimicry. I don't know what is up with the link (fix it) but text is preferred over lists.
Earthships and Permaculture have 0 refs.
See WP:CITE#HOW for better citation formats.

Don't hesitate to ask if you need clarification on any specifics.Cptnono (talk) 06:44, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Blizzard PPC

The Blizzard PPC Hi, this is my first article, it is related to the Commodore Amiga systems, specifically the Amiga 120 as its an accelerator for it. Please give me feedback on it, and tag appropriately. Thank you! Dreamcast270mhz (talk) 00:07, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I see the article has been proposed for deletion. I assume you think otherwise. You might leave MrKIA11 a note at his talk page. While he is someone preoccupied with his bid to become an administrator, he is an active member of the Video Games Project, and may be in a position to give you useful advice.--SPhilbrick T 22:10, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Formula One (1985 video game)

Hi

I'm new to wikipedia, and I started an article on a videogame of the 1980's that wasn't present in the encyclopedia yet.

Right now it's a draft in my user space. Please give me some feedback on it, especially if it would be good enough to start as a real article or if it needs more info: User:NeoGenPT/Formula_One_(1985_video_game)

Thanks! NeoGenPT (talk) 02:19, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

1)You need to demonstrate in the article why this game is notable. 2)This article would benefit from an image. Please see if there are any free use images that fall under the Wikipedia:Image use policy and fit under one of the Wikipedia:Image copyright tags that can be uploaded. To upload images on Wikipedia, go to Special:Upload; to upload non-fair use images on the Wikimedia Commons, go to commons:special:upload. Sole Soul (talk) 08:47, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

article name Sandeep Das

Sandeep Das (HUM2009 (talk) 09:39, 5 December 2009 (UTC))[reply]

There is no article with that title (hence it is a redlink) - it was deleted on December 23, 2007 because it "provided little or no context" per this speedy deletion criterion. – ukexpat (talk) 21:03, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sharon Irla

Request for review, input and assistance of article User:Profklm/Sharon Irla. (created Nov 28, 2009)

I hope to later expand this article to include photo of the artist and, with her permission, some sample work.

Moreover, I hope to later add a section header of "Movement," as Irla is one of a handful of contemporary Cherokee Artists whose artwork is based on historical, scholarly research of the Cherokee. Other notables in this "Movement" would include Martha Berry, Talmadge Davis, and Anna B. (Sixkiller) Mitchell (for whom an article needs to be written).

I look forward to your input. Thanks Profklm (talk) 16:21, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User:Scome-squ/SCOME-Oman

Hello I have finished creating my draft and willing to seek advise to level it up to the wiki standards, http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Scome-squ/SCOME-Oman

Thx —Preceding unsigned comment added by Scome-squ (talk • contribs) 20:49, 5 December 2009 (UTC) ][reply]

In its current form it is way too promotional in tone and would be speedily deleted if moved to the main space. Please take a look at the pages that I have linked to on your talk page, in particular WP:SPAM, WP:ORG, WP:RS and WP:NPOV. – ukexpat (talk) 20:55, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Please review new page Satan's Pilgrims

The new page about the instrumental surf band, Satan's Pilgrims,can be found at User:Crowdesign/Satan's Pilgrims.

```` —Preceding unsigned comment added by Crowdesign (talk • contribs) 03:36, 6 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Frank B. Wynn

I have just started a new article User:Davidclydewalters/Frank B. Wynn I have much more information on Dr. Wynn and his considerable contribution to medical history and the conservation movement in the United States. I have just completed a Doctoral dissertation on leadership and the biography of Dr. Wynn at the University of Montana. The article is not complete. I have only started it to learn how to contribute. I am requesting feedback only so that the article is properly constructed and will not be deleted. I will continue to work on it. Thank you for creating and maintaining this valuable information resource. I have already made a donation and expect to do so again in the future. --Davidclydewalters (talk) 05:39, 6 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Safety_Fuse

I am writing this article for a history class I am taking at the University of Maryland. I was wondering if anyone could provide me with constructive criticism on how I can improve this article. Any feedback would be appreciated! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Smodarre (talk • contribs) 05:52, 6 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Humberstone Garden Suburb

82.7.37.91 (talk) 08:19, 6 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Institute of Land Administration

Requesting feedback. Institute of Land Administration Smwiti (talk) 10:41, 6 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Gordon Muir Giles

Hello, I've written an article about occupational therapist Gordon Muir Giles -- he developed a significant new approach and treatment for individuals with neurological injuries. Would appreciate any feedback. Thanks! Mattymatt (talk) 12:15, 6 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

@@ Line 2,115: / Line 2,115: @@
 [[Institute of Land Administration]]
 [[User:Smwiti|Smwiti]] ([[User talk:Smwiti|talk]]) 10:41, 6 December 2009 (UTC)
+== [[Gordon Muir Giles]] ==
+Hello,
+I've written an article about occupational therapist [[Gordon Muir Giles]] -- he developed a significant new approach and treatment for individuals with neurological injuries. Would appreciate any feedback. Thanks! [[User:Mattymatt|Mattymatt]] ([[User talk:Mattymatt|talk]]) 12:15, 6 December 2009 (UTC)