Clinton
Clinton is the famous porn star that was viewed on ophra last week with his talk about how to have effective orgasm.
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't? A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve? A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat? A. A Klondike Bar
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. Why don't women wear watches? A. There's a clock on the stove!
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin? A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
Q. What's the difference between love and herpes? A. Love doesn't last forever.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A. Call her and tell her.
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. A. The thief was spending less then his wife.
Q. Why do women have small feet? A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to.
Q. How do men sort out their laundry? A. Filthy, and filthy but wearable.
Q. What's the difference between a man and ET? A. ET phoned home.
Q. Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet? A. It doesn't need cleaning.
Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock? A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses? A. Brothel sprouts.
Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman? A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
Q. What's white, smells, and can be found in panties? A. Clitty litter
Q. I married Miss Right. A. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women? A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself? A. He's smoking a cigarette.
Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? A. He worked it out with a pencil.
Q. Who's the world's greatest athlete? A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance? A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving
Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego... A. "Is it in?"
Q. What is the cheapest meat? A. Deer balls, there under a buck.
Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
Q. What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise? A. The captains log.
Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out? A. A lesbian with a hard-on.
Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy? A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Persons
Family of Bill and Hillary Clinton
- Bill Clinton is an American who was the President of the United States.
- Hillary Rodham Clinton, former First Lady, is the junior U.S. Senator from New York.
- Chelsea Clinton, daughter of Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham Clinton.
- Virginia Clinton Kelley, Bill Clinton and Roger Clinton, Jr.'s mother.
- William Jefferson Blythe, Jr., Bill Clinton's father, who died three months before the future President's birth.
- Roger Clinton, Sr., Bill Clinton's stepfather.
- Roger Clinton, Jr., Roger Clinton, Sr.'s son, Bill Clinton's half-brother, and Virginia Kelley's son.
Family of DeWitt Clinton
- Charles Clinton (1690 – 1773) French and Indian War Colonel, father of James and George Clinton
- James Clinton (1733 – 1812) American Revolutionary War General, father of DeWitt, brother of George
- George Clinton (1739 – 1812) first and third Governor of New York, fourth Vice President of the United States
- DeWitt Clinton (1769 – 1828) seventh and ninth Governor of New York, son of James, & nephew of George
- George Clinton (1771 – 1809) son of George Clinton (1739 – 1812)
Family of Sir Henry Clinton
- Admiral George Clinton (royal governor) (1686–1761)
- General Sir Henry Clinton (American War of Independence) (1732–1795)
- General Sir William Henry Clinton (1769–1846)
- Lieutenant General Sir Henry Clinton (Napoleonic Wars) K.B. (1771–1829)
Other notable Clintons
- George Clinton (1940) is a popular US funk musician.
- Henry Clinton Young, member of the South Carolina legislature.
- Henry Fynes Clinton, a British classical scholar and chronologist of the 19th century.
- George Clinton (disambiguation).
- Clinton Richard Dawkins
- Clinton Edward Dawkins
Places
In Australia
In Canada
- Clinton, Alberta
- Clinton, British Columbia
- Clinton, Ontario
- Clinton Point, Nunavut
- Clinton Township, Ontario
- Clinton, Prince Edward Island
- Clinton Creek, Yukon
In New Zealand
In the United States
Structures
Cities, towns, or villages:
- Clinton, Arkansas
- Clinton, Connecticut
- Clinton, Illinois
- Clinton, Indiana
- Clinton, Iowa
- Clinton, Kentucky
- Clinton, Louisiana
- Clinton, Maine
- Clinton, Maryland
- Clinton, Massachusetts
- Clinton, Michigan
- Clinton, Minnesota
- Clinton, Mississippi
- Clinton, Missouri
- Clinton, Montana
- Clinton, Nebraska
- Clinton, New Jersey
- Clinton, New York (in Clinton County)
- Clinton, New York (in Dutchess County)
- Clinton, New York (in Oneida County)
- Clinton, North Carolina
- Clinton, Ohio
- Clinton, Oklahoma
- Clinton, South Carolina
- Clinton, Tennessee
- Clinton, Utah
- Clinton, Washington
- Clinton, Wisconsin
For counties starting with Clinton, see Clinton County
County subdivisions (Minor civil divisions)
- Clinton (CDP), Connecticut
- Clinton (CDP), Maine
- Clinton (CDP), Massachusetts
- Clinton Township, Illinois
- Clinton Township, Indiana
- Clinton Township, Iowa
- Clinton Township, Kansas
- Clinton Township, Michigan
- Clinton Township, Minnesota
- Clinton Township, Missouri
- Clinton Township, New Jersey
- Clinton Township, North Dakota
- Clinton Township, Ohio
- Clinton Township, Pennsylvania
- Clinton Township, South Dakota
- Town of Clinton, Wisconsin
- Town of Clinton, New York
There is also
- North Clinton Township, North Carolina
- Port Clinton, Ohio
- Port Clinton, Pennsylvania.
- South Clinton Township, North Carolina
- Clintonville, a suburb of Columbus, Ohio
- Clintonville, Pennsylvania
- Clintonville, Wisconsin
Clinton also is an alternative name for the neighborhood known as Hell's Kitchen in the borough of Manhattan in New York City.
Other uses
- Clinton Cards is a chain of shops in the UK founded in 1968 by Don Lewin. Mainly selling greetings cards, the chain claims (2004) to be "the largest specialist retailer of greetings cards, plush merchandise (soft toys) and related products in the UK with over 700 shops and concessions within Debenhams stores". Official website: http://www.clintoncards.co.uk/
- Also in the UK is the village of Aston Clinton.
- The Clinton (automobile), a Canadian automobile built from 1911 to 1912.
- Clinton (band) is a side project of the indie band, Cornershop
- Clinton Group is a large asset management firm based in New York http://www.clinton.com