List of The Colbert Report episodes (2011)
| List of The Colbert Report episodes | |
|---|---|
| No. of episodes | 160 |
| Release | |
| Original network | Comedy Central |
| Season chronology | |
This is a list of episodes for The Colbert Report in 2011.
2011
January
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 814 | "N/A" | Ed Rendell | "This year I will not break my New Year's Resolution. G'OH! My resolution was to break my New Year's Resolution!" | January 3 | 7001 |
|
Stephen believes he lives in a nation of wusses due to a postponed football game, and explores the Spider-Man musical. | |||||
| 815 | "N/A" | Ron Paul, David Leonhardt, Geoffrey Canada | "Greece is building a border wall. Man, those Mexicans are persistent!" | January 4 | 7002 |
|
Stephen has a message for America's new Indian overlords in light of Obama's endorsement of the U.N. declaration on the rights of indigenous peoples. He also addresses the value of gold. | |||||
| 816 | "N/A" | Atul Gawande | "John Boehner is the new Speaker of the House. Either that or the mahogany podium has learned to talk." | January 5 | 7003 |
|
NewSouth Books needs to do more with its censorship of Huckleberry Finn, and Stephen talks about Reince Priebus. | |||||
| 817 | "N/A" | Neil deGrasse Tyson, Ronald A. DePinho | N/A | January 6 | 7004 |
|
Gullible bowel syndrome is treated by a placebo, scientists can cure mouse infertility, and a wild lynx increases the walking speeds of elderly patients. Notable moment - Stephen tries to tape his face and cannot properly handle the tape. Quotes
| |||||
| 818 | "N/A" | Fen Montaigne | "The south has been crippled by a winter storm - or as they call it, the weather of northern aggression." | January 10 | 7005 |
|
Mike Fitzpatrick and Pete Sessions miss their swearing into office, but swear in through television, and a difference-maker is interviewed regarding aliens coming to Earth. "Lad Liberty" appears in introduction sequence. | |||||
| 819 | "N/A" | Dan Auerbach, Patrick Carney, Ezra Koenig, Chris Hughes | "Myspace slashes its staff in half. Wow! They fired both people?" | January 11 | 7006 |
|
Colbert picks his winners for the 2011 Grammy Awards and Chris Hughes talks about his life since the Obama campaign. Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend and the Black Keys make a special appearance in the first segment and compete for Colbert's Grammy vote by listing commercials their songs appear in. | |||||
| 820 | "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Angriness" | Bernard-Henri Lévy | N/A | January 12 | 7007 |
|
50 Cent makes $8 million on Twitter while Bernard-Henri Levy discusses public intellectualism. Stephen indicates that he believes Americans think of public intellectualizing in the same way as public urination. First usage of "The Wørd" in 2011. | |||||
| 821 | "N/A" | Kevin Spacey | N/A | January 13 | 7008 |
|
In his segment "Thought For Food", a red alert is brought to surface regarding the shrinking of 7/11's "Super Big Gulp". Meanwhile, a Doritos ad angers Catholics, Pepsi has made fruit drinkable, and Obama moves Colbert by "doing a great job" speaking at a memorial in Tucson. Actor Kevin Spacey talks about Jack Abramoff, whom Stephen considers a patriot. | |||||
| 822 | "Run for Your Life" | Wade Hampton, Sherry Turkle | "Starbucks introduced the new 31 ounce 'trenta', which I believe is Italian for 'kidney failure'." | January 17 | 7009 |
|
Sears offers 50% off mattresses for Martin Luther King Day, and Kmart offers free shipping. Gun control is explored, and Sherry Turkle talks about how technology is alienating. | |||||
| 823 | "Disintegration" | Cornel West | "Dick Cheney may need a new heart. I say we waterboard the Wizard of Oz." | January 18 | 7010 |
| 824 | "N/A" | Ron Reagan, Jr. | "Joe Lieberman announced he won't run for reelection. In a related story, Steven Seagal removed himself from Oscar contention." | January 19 | 7011 |
| 825 | "N/A" | Christine Todd Whitman, Chris Matthews | N/A | January 20 | 7012 |
| 826 | "Coverage of Denial" | Charlie Rose | "A court has ruled that Rahm Emanuel is not legally allowed to run for mayor of Chicago. Which, in Chicago, I believe means he won." | January 24 | 7013 |
| 827 | "N/A" | Amy Chua | "The state of our union is strong, though I think it may be juicing." | January 25 | 7014 |
| 828 | "N/A" | Michael Waldman, Christine Yvette Lewis | N/A | January 26 | 7015 |
| 829 | "N/A" | Daryl Bem, Brian Greene | "New York is set to break the record of its snowiest month. Also, its yellow-snowiest month." | January 27 | 7016 |
| 830 | "N/A" | Samer Shehata, Paul Offit | "The Malawi government is making farting illegal. But I say, he who suppressed it, expressed it." | January 31 | 7017 |
|
Kim Jong-un's furry hat, Egyptian protests, wildlife taser, anti-vaccine movement | |||||
February
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 831 | "N/A" | Leslie Dach, Michael Lewis | N/A | February 1 | 7018 |
|
Egyptian protests, the gut brain, Wyngz, Michelle Obama's veggiehad, The Big Short | |||||
| 832 | "N/A" | Sean Dorrance Kelly | "For the first time ever, there won't be any cheerleaders at the Super Bowl. What will we watch between concussions?" | February 2 | 7019 |
|
Bing copying Google, Hosni Mubarak supporters punching Anderson Cooper, Christiane Aman-Purr, Henry Cavill as Superman, Big Flats beer, All Things Shining. | |||||
| 833 | "N/A" | Jane McGonigal | "I just hit 2 million followers on Twitter, which I believe means Ashton Kutcher has to give me Demi Moore for one night." | February 3 | 7020 |
|
Crisis in Egypt, Bill O'Reilly wonders about the tides, $200 outdoor Super Bowl tickets, Black History Month, Ohio governor John Kasich's all-white cabinet, playing games is productive. | |||||
| 834 | "N/A" | LCD Soundsystem | "Arcade Fire won the Grammy for best album yet I set an arcade on fire and all I get is five years for arson." | February 14 | 7021 |
| 835 | "N/A" | Christiane Amanpour, David Albright | "Watson the Computer is on Jeopardy! this week. Meanwhile, my Speak & Spell keeps beating me at Wheel of Fortune." | February 15 | 7022 |
| 836 | "N/A" | Eric Foner | "The Census says Chicago has shrunk by 200,000 people and yet the voter rolls have grown by a million." | February 16 | 7023 |
| 837 | "N/A" | H. Jeffrey Leonard | N/A | February 17 | 7024 |
| 838 | "N/A" | Eugene Jarecki | N/A | February 21 | 7025 |
| 839 | "N/A" | Randi Weingarten, Jon Erpenbach, Bing West | "I'm a man of very few words. This..." | February 22 | 7026 |
| 840 | "N/A" | Stephanie Coontz | "There's a Mad Man cookbook. I can't wait to taste chicken a la cigarette." | February 23 | 7027 |
| 841 | "N/A" | Glenn Greenwald, Mike Huckabee | N/A | February 24 | 7028 |
| 842 | "N/A" | Michael Scheuer | "The King's Speech: Best Picture? They didn't even cure him - at the end, he still had that debilitating English accent." | February 28 | 7029 |
March
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 843 | "No Country for Old Men" | Evan Osnos | TBA | March 1 | 7030 |
| 844 | "Economic Boom" | Harry Connick Jr. | "Federal authorities declare the Eastern Cougar extinct. Have they checked the appletini night at Hotel Gansevoort?" | March 2 | 7031 |
| 845 | "N/A" | Mark W. Moffett | N/A | March 3 | 7032 |
|
Features an eleven-minute segment promoting Jimmy Fallon's new ice cream flavor. Guest appearances during the segment include Fallon, Jon Stewart, Ben Cohen, & Jerry Greenfield. | |||||
| 846 | "N/A" | Joshua Foer | "Airlines are considering charging for reclining seats. Also, your scrotum now counts as a carry-on bag." | March 7 | 7033 |
| 847 | "N/A" | Dale Bryk, Dan Sinker | N/A | March 8 | 7034 |
| 848 | "N/A" | Anthony Weiner, David Brooks | "It's time for me to tell you about the birds and the bees: pesticide works on both of them." | March 9 | 7035 |
| 849 | "N/A" | Reza Aslan | "Rio's Carnivale festival has ended and Rio's 'go to the doctor to see what I just contracted' festival has just begun." | March 10 | 7036 |
| 850 | "N/A" | Simon de Pury, Steve Martin | "Barry Bonds' perjury trial starts today or, as Barry Bonds puts it, no it didn't." | March 21 | 7037 |
| 851 | "N/A" | Ayman Mohyeldin | "Fidel Castro now says he resigned five years ago, but his beard is still in power." | March 22 | 7038 |
| 852 | "Over-Reactor" | Nathan Myhrvold | N/A | March 23 | 7039 |
| 853 | "N/A" | Laurie Garrett, Jody Williams | "Elizabeth Taylor has passed away. I guess I should return this to the jeweler." | March 24 | 7040 |
| 854 | "N/A" | Michael Moore | "The inventor of superglue has died. I assume he finally fell off that girder." | March 28 | 7041 |
| 855 | "N/A" | Stephen Prothero, Dr. Anthony Fauci | "The Bronx Zoo is still missing its Egyptian Cobra. Airports, be on the lookout for a very skinny man in a trenchcoat buying a one-way ticket to Cairo." | March 29 | 7042 |
| 856 | "N/A" | Trevor Potter, Tim Shriver | N/A | March 30 | 7043 |
| 857 | "N/A" | Piers Gibbon | "It's baseball's opening day - better luck next year, Mets." | March 31 | 7044 |
April
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 858 | "That New-Smell Smell" | Andrew Chaikin | N/A | April 4 | 7045 |
| 859 | "N/A" | James Franco | N/A | April 5 | 7046 |
| 860 | "N/A" | Hugo Vickers, Sir David Tang | N/A | April 6 | 7047 |
| 861 | "N/A" | Hugo Vickers, Jeff Greenfield | "America is producing fewer Caucasian babies. Great, I suppose China is beating us at that now too." | April 7 | 7048 |
| 862 | "N/A" | Adam Savage & Jamie Hyneman | N/A | April 11 | 7049 |
| 863 | "N/A" | Rick Brookhiser, Ray Kurzweil | "Iceland's penis museum got its first human specimen and its owner wants to point out it's extremely cold up there." | April 12 | 7050 |
| 864 | "Buy and Cellulite" | Morgan Spurlock | N/A | April 13 | 7051 |
| 865 | "N/A" | Trevor Potter, Caroline Kennedy | N/A | April 14 | 7052 |
| 866 | "N/A" | Ron Paul | N/A | April 25 | 7053 |
| 867 | "N/A" | A.C. Grayling | "Social Security checks are going paperless - because if there's one thing seniors are good at, it's online banking." | April 26 | 7054 |
| 868 | "N/A" | Ice-T | "Fatah and Hamas have signed a unity pact: they've agreed to hate the Jews together." | April 27 | 7055 |
| 869 | "N/A" | Russ Feingold, Wade Graham | "Put another shrimp on the barbie - I'm in England." | April 28 | 7056 |
May
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 870 | "N/A" | Richard Haass, Francis Fukuyama | "Seth Meyers did a great job at the Correspondents Dinner, but I gotta say this weekend Barack Obama really killed." | May 2 | 7057 |
| 871 | "N/A" | Rex Ryan | "Scott Pelley has been named the new CBS Evening News anchor. Personally, I don't think he has the gams for it." | May 3 | 7058 |
| 872 | "N/A" | Amy Farrell | "The first Republican debate is tomorrow night. Good seats still available...on stage." | May 4 | 7059 |
| 873 | "N/A" | Bill James | N/A | May 5 | 7060 |
| 874 | "Autocratic for the People" | Lupe Fiasco | "Animal Kingdom wins the Kentucky Derby. Don't worry plants: you'll get 'em next year." | May 9 | 7061 |
| 875 | "N/A" | Geoffrey Rush | N/A | May 10 | 7062 |
| 876 | "N/A" | Trevor Potter, Eric Greitens | "They got Bin Laden's hand-written diary. Apparently, he thought America was totally stuck-up." | May 11 | 7063 |
| 877 | "N/A" | Lawrence Wright, John Bradshaw | "Sarah Palin claims she knows all the lyrics to Rapper's Delight. Alaska karaoke bars, you've been warned." | May 12 | 7064 |
| 878 | "N/A" | Alison Klayman | N/A | May 16 | 7065 |
| 879 | "Enhanced Rejustification" | Amy Kremer | "CNN anchor Don Lemon has come out as gay...but can he find the courage to tell his family he's on CNN?" | May 17 | 7066 |
| 880 | "N/A" | Austan Goolsbee | "Starbucks is being sued for firing a dwarf...or as Starbucks calls him, a tall." | May 18 | 7067 |
| 881 | "N/A" | John Lithgow, Aaron Schock, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar | N/A | May 19 | 7068 |
| 882 | "N/A" | Trevor Potter, James B. Stewart | "I just spent seven days on a boat with no showers. I'm not sure if this is a beard or barnacles." | May 31 | 7069 |
June
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 883 | "N/A" | Robert Kennedy Jr | "I got rid of my beard and let's just say the lack of carpet matches the lack of drapes." | June 1 | 7070 |
| 884 | "N/A" | Salman Khan | "Mitt Romney has announced that he is running for president in 2012 and, to save time, he's announced he'll be running again in 2016." | June 2 | 7071 |
| 885 | "N/A" | Werner Herzog | N/A | June 6 | 7072 |
| 886 | "Hear No Evil" | Sugar Ray Leonard | N/A | June 7 | 7073 |
| 887 | "N/A" | John Garamendi, Bre Pettis | N/A | June 8 | 7074 |
| 888 | "The Business End" | Tom Ridge | N/A | June 9 | 7075 |
| 889 | "N/A" | Henry Kissinger | N/A | June 13 | 7076 |
| 890 | "N/A" | Janny Scott | "Spider-Man the Musical finally reopens just in time to save New York's struggling hospitals." | June 14 | 7077 |
| 891 | "Shock the Vote" | Keith Olbermann | "A 99-year old Oregon man just graduated from college. Ouch. Terrible time to enter the job market." | June 15 | 7078 |
| 892 | "N/A" | Bon Iver | "Eight percent of U.S. kids have food allergies. Luckily, very little of what they eat is technically food." | June 20 | 7079 |
|
Summer Concert Series, Night One | |||||
| 893 | "N/A" | Jack White, Florence & the Machine | N/A | June 21 | 7080 |
|
Summer Concert Series, Night Two | |||||
| 894 | "The Defining Moment" | Jack White, Talib Kweli | N/A | June 22 | 7081 |
|
Summer Concert Series, Night Three | |||||
| 895 | "N/A" | Jack White & The Black Belles | N/A | June 23 | 7082 |
|
Summer Concert Series, Night Four. Stephen gives the debut performance of his new single: "Charlene II (I'm Over You)". | |||||
| 896 | "N/A" | Grover Norquist | "The Supreme Court ruled it's legal to sell violent video games to kids. Get ready for Grand Theft Tetris." | June 27 | 7083 |
| 897 | "Too Big to Nail" | Alexandra Pelosi | "The Pope wrote his first tweet today; he is truly the vessel in which God wastes time." | June 28 | 7084 |
| 898 | "N/A" | Trevor Potter, Gary Sinise | "Every time God closes a door, he opens a window. Clearly, he's not the one paying for air conditioning." | June 29 | 7085 |
| 899 | "N/A" | Timothy Garton Ash | "A French couple has adopted a 265-pound gorilla. And in tomorrow's news: a French couple is mauled by a newly-orphaned gorilla." | June 30 | 7086 |
July
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 900 | "N/A" | Hans Beinholtz[a], Michael Shermer | "A new study has found that men like to cuddle, and another new study shows that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed." | July 11 | 7087 |
| 901 | "N/A" | Dan Savage | N/A | July 12 | 7088 |
|
Stephen calls on his building manager, Tad, to be his "heterosexual accountability buddy" during his interview with Dan Savage. | |||||
| 902 | "N/A" | Naftali Bendavid, David McCullough | "A six-year-old beauty queen has retired. I'm not surprised: she was starting to get crow's dimples." | July 13 | 7089 |
| 903 | "N/A" | Jose Antonio Vargas | "Who's got two thumbs and is incredibly bad at gesturing at himself?" | July 14 | 7090 |
| 904 | "N/A" | Sean Parnell, Sheila Krumholz, John Prendergast | "Congratulation to the Japanese women's soccer team for rescuing America from the brink of caring about soccer." | July 18 | 7091 |
| 905 | "N/A" | David Carr | N/A | July 19 | 7092 |
| 906 | "N/A" | Michael Sandel | N/A | July 20 | 7093 |
| 907 | "N/A" | David Eagleman | "You say potato, I say: who are you and why are you saying potato to me?" | July 21 | 7094 |
| 908 | "N/A" | Brian Cox | N/A | July 25 | 7095 |
| 909 | "N/A" | Peter Edelman, Brooke Gladstone | "NASA has found volcanoes on the dark side of the Moon, and they erupt in sync with The Wizard of Oz." | July 26 | 7096 |
| 910 | "N/A" | Mary "Missy" Cummings | N/A | July 27 | 7097 |
| 911 | "N/A" | Matthew Dowd, Buddy Roemer | N/A | July 28 | 7098 |
August
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 912 | "With Great Power Comes No Responsibility" | Tony Hsieh | "A new study says colon cleansing can be risky, but I think they just pulled that finding out of their ass." | August 1 | 7099 |
| 913 | "N/A" | David Leonhardt, Al Hunt | "A woman was arrested turning tricks out of a donut shop: the perfect place to avoid detection by the cops." | August 2 | 7100 |
| 914 | "N/A" | Robert Wittman | "God said 'Thou shalt have no gods before me', so don't spoil your appetite with Vishnu-poppers." | August 3 | 7101 |
| 915 | "N/A" | Anthony Bourdain | "Cargill has recalled 36 million pounds of tainted ground turkey. Personally, I don't know why anyone would buy ground turkey taint." | August 4 | 7102 |
| 916 | "N/A" | Nassir Ghaemi | N/A | August 8 | 7103 |
| 917 | "Head in the Cloud" | The Cars | "Captain Morgan's ship has been found. If it's anything like the drink, it doesn't know what happened to it either." | August 9 | 7104 |
| 918 | "N/A" | Jim Martin, Elliott Ackerman | "Chad Ochocinco says he'll live with a fan for three weeks. Wow...those NFL contract negotiations did not go well." | August 10 | 7105 |
| 919 | "N/A" | Gloria Steinem | N/A | August 11 | 7106 |
| 920 | "N/A" | Ambassador Susan Rice | N/A | August 15 | 7107 |
| 921 | "N/A" | Frank Luntz, STS-135 Astronauts | N/A | August 16 | 7108 |
| 922 | "N/A" | Jeff Bridges | "152 people set the world record for biggest group shower. Afterwards, they set another record for the longest awkward silence." | August 17 | 7109 |
| 923 | "N/A" | Kevin Mitnick | "It's my last broadcast for two weeks, but I promise to give you one last great show before I go. This!...just roll it." | August 18 | 7110 |
September
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 924 | "Happy Endings" | Tim Pawlenty | N/A | September 6 | 7111 |
| 925 | "N/A" | Robin Wright | "Texas A&M is joining the SEC. This concludes today's installment of initials I don't understand." | September 7 | 7112 |
| 926 | "N/A" | Tom Brokaw | N/A | September 8 | 7113 |
| 927 | "N/A" | Diane Sawyer | N/A | September 12 | 7114 |
|
Tim Pawlenty endorsing Mitt Romney, Twitter and journalism, 9/11 memorabilia, Jacqueline Kennedy in Her Own Words. | |||||
| 928 | "N/A" | Paul Krugman, Al Gore | "Anderson Cooper's daytime talk show started. Either that, or he's reporting from the disaster area known as daytime TV." | September 13 | 7115 |
|
GOP presidential debates, American Jobs Act, Ron Paul presidential campaign, 2012, Climate Reality Project | |||||
| 929 | "N/A" | Phil Rubio, Michael Moore | N/A | September 14 | 7116 |
|
American Jobs Act, United States Postal Service debts, There's Always Work at the Post Office, HPV vaccinations, Here Comes Trouble | |||||
| 930 | "N/A" | Jimmy Fallon, David Copperfield | "The proof is in the pudding, but good luck finding where I hid the pudding." | September 15 | 7117 |
|
UBS lost $2 billion from rogue trades, Congressman (R-TX) Louie Gohmert's jobs act, eternal enemies for 6 months with Jimmy Fallon, Anderson Cooper wants to be best friends with Stephen, Federal Emergency Management Agency's Waffle House Index, Brainworks | |||||
| 931 | "Death and Taxes" | Jeffrey Kluger | N/A | September 20 | 7118 |
| 932 | "N/A" | Chrystia Freeland, Daniel Yergin | "The Federal Reserve wants to stimulate the economy. Well, then Ben Bernanke's gonna have to show a little leg." | September 21 | 7119 |
| 933 | "N/A" | Jeremy Ben-Ami | N/A | September 22 | 7120 |
| 935 | "I Think, Therefore I Brand" | Radiohead | "Prepare yourselves, Radiohead. You're about to meet Televisionface." | September 26 | 7121 |
|
First ever hour-length episode of The Colbert Report. | |||||
| 936 | "N/A" | Melinda Gates | N/A | September 27 | 7123 |
| 937 | "Labor Chains" | Ken Burns | "Amazon unveiled its new iPad competitor, the Kindle Fire. I'm gonna use mine to order the new iPhone." | September 28 | 7124 |
| 938 | TBA | Mark Cuban | TBA | September 29 | 7125 |
October
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 939 | TBA | Jerome Groopman | TBA | October 3 | 8001 |
| 940 | TBA | John Lithgow | "NBC has cancelled The Playboy Club. Apparently, people just watched it for the articles." | October 4 | 8002 |
| 941 | TBA | Black Star | "The Nobel Committee has awarded-I can't believe they didn't last! If they don't make it, nobody can!" | October 5 | 8003 |
| 942 | TBA | Jason Amerine | "A scientific panel recommended against prostate testing, but my prostate was up all night cramming." | October 6 | 8004 |
| 943 | "Look Out for the Little Guy" | Harry Belafonte | TBA | October 17 | 8005 |
| 944 | TBA | Steven Pinker | TBA | October 18 | 8006 |
| 945 | TBA | Ali Soufan | " The world population will hit 7 billion people by Halloween, so you may want to buy an extra bag of Snickers." | October 19 | 8007 |
| 946 | TBA | Coldplay | "Antidepressant use is up since 1988. Someone should do something about that, but God, it just seems so impossible." | October 20 | 8008 |
| 947 | TBA | Jon Huntsman, Jr. | TBA | October 24 | 8009 |
| 948 | TBA | Susan Saladoff | "Gaddafi will be buried in a secret location that no one can find. Maybe that's where he should've hidden". | October 25 | 8010 |
| 949 | TBA | Taylor Branch | "It's the tenth anniversary of the Patriot Act, but what do you get for the government that knows everything?" | October 26 | 8011 |
| 950 | TBA | Toby Keith | "A Californian doctor was caught selling painkillers out of a Starbucks. Hey, everyone else in Starbucks, now you've finally got a great idea for that screenplay." | October 27 | 8012 |
| 951 | TBA | Neil MacGregor | TBA | October 31 | 8013 |
November
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 952 | TBA | Yo-Yo Ma | "A new study found that happy people live 35% longer. Yeah, but unhappy people's lives seem longer." | November 1 | 8014 |
| 953 | "Bite The Hand That Feeds You" | Michael Pollan | "Bank of America will drop its five dollar debit card fee. Of course, this comes with a six dollar fee removal fee." | November 2 | 8015 |
| 954 | TBA | Nathan Wolfe | A new report says that New York City has shrunk by more than 2 square miles. Hey, come on, it's cold outside!" | November 3 | 8016 |
| 955 | TBA | Niall Ferguson | TBA | November 7 | 8017 |
| 956 | TBA | Seth Meyers | TBA | November 8 | 8018 |
| 957 | "Bully Pulpit" | Father James Martin | "Italian debt threatens to swamp the Eurozone. I knew they shouldn't have offered unlimited breadsticks!" | November 9 | 8019 |
| 958 | TBA | Brian Eno | TBA | November 10 | 8020 |
| 959 | TBA | Thomas Thwaites | "The new Italian Prime Minister has passed new austerity measures. He's going to cut back to one bunga." | November 14 | 8021 |
| 960 | TBA | Elijah Wood | TBA | November 15 | 8022 |
| 961 | TBA | Chris Matthews | "North Korea is opening to tourists. You'll come for the kimchee, you'll stay because you can't leave." | November 16 | 8023 |
| 962 | "The 1%" | Susan Orlean | "In honor of Thanksgiving, I'm doing the whole show with my pants unbuttoned." | November 17 | 8024 |
| 963 | TBA | Siddhartha Mukherjee | "A recent study claims women think about sex ten times a day. But I don't buy it; my show is only on four times a day." | November 28 | 8025 |
| 964 | TBA | Tinariwen | "Stalin's daughter is dead at the age of 85. Your move, Cindy Hitler." | November 29 | 8026 |
| 965 | TBA | Stephen Sondheim | TBA | November 30 | 8027 |
December
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 966 | TBA | Richard Branson | TBA | December 1 | 8028 |
| 967 | TBA | Jimmie Johnson | TBA | December 5 | 8029 |
| 968 | TBA | The Black Keys | TBA | December 6 | 8030 |
| 969 | TBA | David Hallberg | TBA | December 7 | 8031 |
| 970 | TBA | Jack Abramoff | Vladimir Putin has accused Hillary Clinton of instigating protests in Russia. Why don't they just do it already? | December 8 | 8032 |
| 971 | TBA | Samuel L. Jackson | "Newt Gingrich says he is against gay marriage. That explains why it's the only type of marriage he hasn't tried yet." | December 12 | 8033 |
| 972 | "Let Them Buy Cake" | Mark Whitaker | "An Italian woman left $13 million to her cat. Well... hello!" | December 13 | 8034 |
| 973 | TBA | General Raymond T. Odierno | TBA | December 14 | 8035 |
| 974 | TBA | Daniel Craig | TBA | December 15 | 8036 |
Notes
- ^a Hans Beinholtz is a fictional character played by Erik Frandsen.
References
External links
Wikiquote has quotations related to Stephen Colbert.
