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Requests for Feedback

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This page provides comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have drafted, created, or substantially changed.
This is not a general help page. To seek assistance or ask a question, see Wikipedia:Questions.
If you are seeking an outside opinion about a dispute, please follow the steps in Wikipedia:Dispute resolution.
Please note that this page is patrolled by volunteer editors just like you and it may take several days to review your request.

Before you request feedback

There are certain things which come up again and again so it may help if you deal with them before requesting feedback:

Does your article have reliable sources? These are important in terms of both verifiability and notability.
Do you have a conflict of interest that may harm your ability to produce a neutral article?

If you would like a beginner's guide to these sorts of issues, take a look at the article wizard.

If you are unsure about how to edit Wikipedia articles, take a look at this tutorial.

For a more general discussion of writing your first article, see "Your first article".

How to post a request

Place a Wikilink, with the title of the page inside [[ and ]] - for example, [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] - in the box below.
Click Click To Add Request
In the new article, Write a brief summary of your work or what in particular you need help with, but do not post the whole article here.
If you have rewritten an existing article, you may wish to provide a diff link from that article's history that shows your changes.
Check regularly for responses to your request; they will most often be made here.

↓ Post your request using the box below. Replace "Untitled" with a wikilink to your article - e.g. [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] ↓

After Receiving Feedback

Check back here often, as you will receive a response here.
Respond to the feedback, either with a simple thank you, to ask for help with anything mentioned, or, after you've made some of the improvements, what they think of them.
Consider helping out here in the future - anyone can read up on what articles should be like and provide constructive criticism.

Are you providing feedback?

Please consider notifying the user whose article you are providing feedback for by placing a message on their talk page, so they will be able to read it in a timely manner and reply if necessary. You can use..
- {{Feedbackreply-sm}} A template asking the user to check back here and consider responding
- {{Feedbackreply-alt}} A more personal version of the first offering your help with developing, moving to mainspace, etc.

Click here to purge this page (For help, see Wikipedia:Purge)

The previous few days of requests are transcluded below. The pages for the past 20 days are: (click here to refresh)

Index of all requests for feedback

J'Aton Couture

This is a very simple article about an increasingly prominent Australian fashion house. I would appreciate any feedback or additions to this article. Thanks!

Brand Tribalism

Hi I have added more relevant citations for your approval. The article is called Brand Tribalism

Thanks you.

Jozette Heerman (talk) 12:12, 2 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Liberty Island

Liberty Island expanded and re-organized articleDjflem (talk) 14:14, 3 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks pretty good - not sure what else to say! – ukexpat (talk) 02:41, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mark Collard

I've posted this article about User:In2play/Mark Collard who has been instrumental in popularising and developing the field of adventure education in Australia. He has also written 3 top-selling texts in regards activities used in the field. This is only a start, and I am still looking for more sources to add further information about his accomplishments over the past 20 years. I'm looking for feedback, as this is my first Wikipedia article contribution.

I woudl like to get some feedback about how to create those boxes which appear in top right-hand side which give vital stats, such as DOB, spouse, kids, etc.

cheers, Will 4 Feb 2010 In2play (talk) 01:55, 4 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Granary Buildings, Leeds

Any feedback on this article would be welcome.

This is an important, historic building but there doesn't seem to be any mention of it in the Leeds and Liverpool Canal or Architecture of Leeds articles.

EricPolymath (talk) 09:30, 4 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not a bad start. A couple of additional references would help establish notability. I'd also suggest consolidating some of the paragraphs, they are really too short now. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:32, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Xena: Warrior Princess

Xena: Warrior Princess. Touchy article, with strong and differing opinions. I have recently restructured it, improved style, added bits. Require general feedback on how to improve it further, for self and others who regularly patrol it. Would like reclassification to C/B class if appropriate. Bards (talk) 16:11, 6 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Commotio

User:OxfordSinger/Commotio

Looking for initial feedback, please - first Wiki contribution. Thank you. OxfordSinger (talk) 16:54, 6 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

P.T. Barnum Awards

P.T. Barnum Awards Hello, looking for feedback on this page on a Tufts University awards show for excellence in the entertainment industry. Please let me know if you see any errors or have more information. Thank you Carchi01 (talk) 22:35, 7 February 2010 (UTC)carchi01 2/5/10[reply]

Denielle Hann

User:Nlmusicguy/Denielle Hann

New to Wiki. Please provide feedback/edits on Denielle Hann. It must also be posted to wiki by someone who has that ability.

Thanks very much Nlmusicguy (talk) 15:23, 9 February 2010 (UTC)Nlmusicguy 09 Feb 2010[reply]

Review LTX-Credence article

LTX-Credence Corporation

Two companies have merged, updating the historical data. Easy review. Ref'ed AP article on the subject, sourced by the newly merged company. Rbenech (talk) 22:21, 9 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Bill Zadick

I've written a biography article for User:Rosalita923/Bill_Zadick, a US amateur wrestler who has won a world championship. It's the first article I've ever created, so I'd be grateful for any and all feedback regarding anything you feel needs to be added, deleted, or cited differently.

Many thanks! --Rosalita923 (talk) 17:27, 10 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

New Article: American Car Designer Eric Stoddard

Request to review information about Automobile Designer Eric Stoddard. Review resources on related car designs, please.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Stoddard

Speedstudio (talk) 13:14, 11 February 2010 (UTC) SpeedStudioDesign.com[reply]

You have a decent amount of resources. I don't really see anything wrong. Maybe remove some of the duplicate content under "Career."

Aimelise (talk) 13:50, 11 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tito in ekšn

Tito in ekšn punk rock group from the 90s

Partizanchek (talk) 17:16, 11 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Reconnective Therapy

Reconnective Therapy Reconnective Therapy ```` —Preceding unsigned comment added by Psullivan7 (talk • contribs) 13:03, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Crazy Waiting

user:chasingflowers/crazywaiting A recent South Korean movie that I love. Several of the actors have their own Wikipedia pages already, so I thought it would be notable. Chasingflowers (talk) 01:28, 15 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback requested, please.

Hello,

May I please get some feedback on the following page?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Weatherlands/European_Climate_Assessment_and_Dataset_%28ECA%26D%29

I would like to make it live as soon as possible since our website, eca.knmi.nl, has been updated as well.

Note: All images are intended to be copyrighted as open to the public. They are generated by "using" the website which anyone can do.

Thanks for your time, please respond in "my talk."

Good day, ~WL

Weatherlands (talk) 10:24, 15 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This post says "our website"; what is your connection with this organization? --Orange Mike | Talk 17:45, 16 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Orangemike, sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I say "our website" because I sometimes work on the project and they gave me the task of sharing information about the database. It is a database of freely available data that is downloadable on the website so no costs are involved at all. The project was initiated by the European Climate Support Network (ECSN) but is coordinated by KNMI. Do you still consider this a conflict of interest?

Also, can you please explain to me why all of my external links have been broken?

Thanks,

Weatherlands (talk) 10:18, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Joseph Matheny

(````) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Setianson (talk • contribs) 18:43, 17 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Edwin Hodge

tjbw (talk) 21:03, 17 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

International media reaction to Barack Obama's election

I would like to invite feedback on this draft article on the international media reaction to Barack Obama's 2008 election. Please note that images are available to improve the article's look and will be added once the page is published. Please leave comments on the draft's discussion page. Thank you! --Amandaroyal (talk) 19:06, 19 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mark W. Moffett New page to post

I would like to post a new page about the Sociobiologist/National Geographic Top Photograher/Ant expert/etc. Mark Moffett. Below is the revised draft of the article with more references. I would also like to add one or two photos, but do not know how to do that. Thanks. Never did this before. -Roc Ordman

Mark W. Moffett, Ph.D.

Attempt to post new article

bg

“Mark has developed a career that combines science and photography, in spite of being a high school dropout. Although his family was not academic, encouraged by his parents he sought out biologists by the age of 12. “ [1] Moffett received his BA in Biology at Beloit College in Wisconsin in 1979. He received his PhD from Harvard University where he studied with E. O. Wilson, who developed the field of sociobiology. Mark was the first PhD candidate that Wilson had accepted in about a decade, but Mark was so fascinated by ant behavior that Wilson agreed to accept him as a student. Moffett taught himself novel photographic techniques for his 1989 Ph.D. on ants. National Geographic magazine published these novel photographs, and he went on to become a top photojournalist of that magazine^[1] Moffett became curator of ants at Harvard, and then directed Harvard's Museum of Comparative Zoology. His research concerns insect social behavior and the structure and dynamics of forest ecosystems, particularly their canopies. He travels the world studying different insects and ecosystems. He has investigated and written about ^[2]canopies of the Amazon rain forest, where he operates a research station in Peru. He also has worked on the supertall coniferous forests of the Pacific Northwest, for which he led the first ever ascent and study of the world's tallest tree, known as the National Geographic redwood. In 1993 Harvard University Press published Moffett's book, The High Frontier: Exploring the Tropical Rainforest Canopy ^[3]. He has a new book coming out in early 2010. Today his research and National Geographic photography are interspersed with writing and public lecturing about rain forests. In 2010, he is Research Associate, NMNH, the Smithsonian Institution, Associate Curator, the University of California, Berkeley, and Contract Photographer, National Geographic Magazine. He also operates a research station in the Amazon Rainforest in Peru along the Amazon River. A photomural he produced there can be seen at Olbrich Botanical Gardens in Madison, WI.

Among his achievements, his home page is ^[4], giving a list of over 80 peer-reviewed publications and 20 articles in National Geographic. Among his awards are the Lowell Thomas Medal from National Geographic ^[5], and the Beloit College Roy Chapman Andrews Award ^[6]. He has written books on ants, frogs, and the rainforest ^[7].

EXTERNAL LINKS

User:HealthGal/Tracey_Powell

This is an article about Tracey Powell, a healthcare entrepreneur who is highly-recognized in the industry as having produced the first and only FDA-approved at-home kits for anonymous HIV and Hepatitis-C testing. By de-stigmatizing STD testing and providing an online, confidential forum for risk evaluation and expert test recommendations, he has enabled thousands who otherwise would not have sought out such information to receive anonymous STD testing, and subsequent treatment as applicable.

HealthGal (talk) 01:34, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sun Yat-sen's prayer at the tomb of the Hongwu Emperor

Hi

This is my first article (lot of fun). In fact I have never edited a page either. I was going through the page on Sun Yat-sen trying to find out about this prayer that he made at the tomb of the Hongwu Emperor. I had seen a reference to the fact that Sun Yat-sen had visited and prayed at the tomb three days after he took power in a book on the Forbidden city. I got very curious as to why he, who had been trying to overthrow the Qing dynasty, would visit the tomb of the founder of the Ming dynasty. In any case one thing led to another and I managed to find the original prayer mentioned in a book published in 1912.

I would like to add a reference to this prayer in Sun Yat-sen's original article and as such would like to add the prayer itself as an article which can be then be linked.

User:MalikFeb2010/Sun Yat-sen's prayer at the tomb of the Hongwu Emperor

MalikFeb2010 (talk) 04:49, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

For starters, welcome to Wikipedia. Please continue to edit here. Looking at the article on Sun Yat-Sen, I see no reason for this to be a separate article. But it is very well written and sourced and probably belongs within the article if it is indeed notable enough. Unfortunately, I do not know enough about his life to tell you if it is notable or not, but regardless, it does not need its own article.BillyJack193 (talk) 04:58, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the quick feedback. I think this was a very graceful tribute by Sun Yat-sen to the Ming Emperor and as such should be part of the page on him - also points to the centuries long conflicts that have taken place between the Chinese Han race and the Eastern and Western Tartars. I presume (not sure how it gets determined if it is notable enough or not) that it will be okay for me to go ahead and figure out the appropriate place and add it into the original Sun Yat-sen article.MalikFeb2010 (talk) 05:43, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

From what you have said, it is notable enough, so go ahead and add it. If you put it in the wrong place, I am sure some of the other editors of the article will help you out. Good luck.BillyJack193 (talk) 06:04, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I am going to have to disagree with the above comments. The place for the complete text of the prayer is Wikisource - the text can be posted there and linked to in the main article. Large chunks of source material like this should not be added to a Wikipedia article. – ukexpat (talk) 20:40, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have no problem putting it in Wikisource. However can you point out which category you think is appropriate? Please do consider that this is not a "religious prayer" in the strictest sense of the word. I checked Wikisource and am not sure where you would like to see it placed. Any recommendations? MalikFeb2010 (talk) 03:43, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Miaohui

Literally Temple Fair, this is a festivity common in China during the Chinese New Year. A lot of materials are already present on Chinese WP. I wonder if anyone wants to have a look and make some translations if possible. It is amazing that no article exists yet about this tradition.Btmachine333667 (talk) 09:52, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Visionlearning.com

I just created the article Visionlearning.com User:Neopropism/Visionlearning.com and would love some feedback on the tone, etc. I've tried to be as unbiased as possible, but am not sure if some of my descriptions seem too favorable.

Thanks! Neopropism (talk) 17:22, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

David Newman aka Durga Das (Chant Artist)

Hello,

I posted an article about musician David Newman a few months ago in my userspace. At that time I was advised to wait until his next album came out on the Nettwerk label since he would then meet notability requirements. That album is coming out in a few weeks so I've made a few edits and would like to get the ball rolling again. If anyone has any input, thanks in advance!

Here is the article: David Newman aka Durga Das (Chant Artist)

AmaruKR (talk) 23:07, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Having an interest in the world of chant generally, I read through the proposed article and checked for Newman and Durga Das on line. The text of the article is pretty much all based on personal websites and social media. I was unable to find a third-party source beyong the one Yoga magazine and it seems to be more pr than anything else. Until there are reviews of the albums or the studio in WP:RS, which might occur after the new album which is still in the porudction process, this appears to be a local musician/entrepreneur looking for WP publicity. I would say certainly not yet; the subject needs to have more more prominence than he has right now. If you have a careful read through Wikipedia's guidelines for notability in musicians, you will see that this individual meets none of the tests as far as I can tell. Bielle (talk) 23:22, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Bielle,

Thank you for taking a look and for your feedback.

One of the guidelines for notability is "Has released two or more albums on a major label or one of the more important indie labels (i.e., an independent label with a history of more than a few years and a roster of performers, many of which are notable)" which I believe is applicable here since Newman's new album is being released through Nutone/Nettwerk, as was his last. The latest album was produced by a Grammy-award winning producer, who is also listed on WP. In addition, though chant is certainly a niche genre that will never get mainstream air time, there are other kirtan artists on WP who are also now making music through Nettwork/Nutone.

Would it help to have more review articles referenced for past albums? I did not do so since a lot of the information was repeat or strictly reviews of albums.

A few more points that might help the case: Newman has been putting albums out since 2003. In 2004 his second album was reviewed on NPR. In 2008 he was mentioned in an article called "Yoga Rock Stars" in Yoga+Joyful Living Magazine.

In any case thanks again for taking the time. I won't say the impetus for this article is devoid of promotional considerations but I have tried to make it objective and do want to respect the WP guidelines. I wouldn't submit an article if I didn't believe the person belonged here. However, if the consensus is to wait, I will.

Best,

AmaruKR (talk) 16:59, 24 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I appreciate your work and your interest, AmaruKR. However, I am still not seeing notable here as WP defines it for musicians; "at least" ia an absolute minimum standard. If there is some press in a major publication about the person, that might be helpful; the Yoga magazine is more pr than news, I think, and so is much of the writing still. As for the albums, if they get significant coverage, they might warrant an article with a paragraph on the musician, but I am not even seeing the grounds for that yet. This is just my opinion. Others' opinions are welcome. Bielle (talk) 17:05, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Anybody else care to weigh in? Advice on how to proceed is welcome. Thx,

AmaruKR (talk) 23:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

VertiKa

I started the page VertiKa and revised it after first review and seek another. --Ewikiwriter (talk) 13:07, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Just read through your article, and I think it's pretty good. There's plenty of references and reliable sources in there, and the structure makes it really easy for me to read and find out the important information. However, I would say with the 'history' section that you could perhaps put the dates in bold and separate the sections a bit more. Apart from that, I think it's a really well written article! Please ask if you require any more opinions on the article. Chevymontecarlo (talk) 16:18, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Edgar Blazona

Edgar Blazona Hello, I welcome all feedback on this new article I created. Please let me know where and how I can improve. Thanks! Taramelinchuk (talk) 18:09, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Kathryn Wallace

Kathryn Wallace is an American film and print journalist. Please review and let me know if this person is notable enough and what else I might need to move to mainspace. Link to article is here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Joeistaller/Kathryn_Wallace

Joeistaller (talk) 01:06, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not a bad start, although I would suggest a review of the external links and the in-text links. Also, the "Inside Guantanamo" section does not appear to be entirely relevant. -Reconsider! 01:32, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Gamma Phi

Was hoping to get some feedback on my new article, Gamma Phi. This is my first article to write, and while the information is all from the same source, the purpose was to consolidate a lot of information into one relatively small article. No rush on the review, but I'd be glad to have it looked over, especially for any violations or other potential warnings.

To whomever reviews this--thanks in advance for your time. :-) --Warbirdadmiral (talk) 05:23, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The single source is a problem - it is a self-reference and therefore cannot be used to demonstrate notability per WP:ORG. What you need to find are multiple non-trivial references in reliable sources. I have added a couple of maintenance tags to this effect. – ukexpat (talk) 04:04, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately, due to the short time of existence, and the age of the organization (members long since deceased), this is probably the only notable source, other than maybe a yearbook or two (which are referenced in the source). Indeed, it may not qualify for notability, but this is likely the only significant source to the page. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Warbirdadmiral (talk • contribs) 21:21, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please check this article for publication

Jo Hamilton (musician)

Hello

I have comprehensively referenced this article, as well as adding a photograph of the artist.

I need the thumbnail to be accepted as I have reduced its size considerably.

Please contact me regarding this

Thanks

Shelley Atkinson ^{[details removed]} —Preceding unsigned comment added by Artsdeville (talk • contribs) 16:18, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dice.com

Hello, I just created an article for Dice.com. Dice is the leading IT recruiter in the United States and has also provided industry reports that have been published by Reuters. The article is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Athard/dice.com. Please look at it and let me know if this is good enough for Wikipedia. Thank you.

Athard (talk) 18:47, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jordanmakesmusic/Faces_On_Film

I made a page for the band Faces on Film. Since it's my first page, general feedback would be appreciated. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jordanmakesmusic (talk • contribs) 21:45, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Jim Lord, Singer/songwriter

Jim Lord, Singer/songwriter Jim Lord, singer/songwriter requesting feedback on article. Lord is considered by many to be "one of the best artists you hear little about" (source: CHIC Magazine, Music Notes, January 1983 Issue, P.9). He was a singer/songwriter in the 70's/80's, influenced by the British folk scene, recorded a couple of successful albums but changed career tracks in the mid-80's to pursue a career in photojournalism, where he was a very successful, award winning, wartime photojournalist particularly known for his work in Nicaragua and Guatemala during the civil wars in those areas on the 1980s (the information on his photojournalism career is NOT included in his musicians bio page, but for your edification). Lord returned to his singer/songwriter roots in early 2000's and is currently working on an album, scheduled for release later in 2010.

Thanks for taking time to review Lord's singer/songwriter bio.

Jdlongshot2 (talk) 18:21, 27 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Joey Allcorn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dr._Magnifico/Joey_Allcorn

Page for indie alt-country artist Joey Allcorn, singer/songwriter from Columbus, GA who's collaborators include Hank III, Don Helms, Lloyd Green and Johnny Hiland. This is my first attempt at Wikipedia authoring; let me know what you think. Thanks,

Dr. Magnifico (talk) 21:54, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Village Roots Garden

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration. I've just completed my 1st Wikipedia aricle ever, on community gardening at User:VitusKonter/VillageRoots. Please let me know how it looks. VitusKonter (talk) 07:27, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It looks really well done, nice organization nice pictures, nice layout, so it pains me to report that it may not meet the Notability requirements. I hope it does, but you should search for more examples of coverage in reliable sources.--SPhilbrick T 16:14, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I've added a few more citations, and hope to add more in the next week to help establish notability. VitusKonter (talk) 06:51, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

If it doesn't meet notability, see esp WP:LOCAL, then perhaps it should added to the Bay View, Milwaukee article. Nuujinn (talk) 20:50, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've already done several edits and added 3 new sections to the Bay View, Milwaukee article (and I plan on adding more), but I think that the Village Roots article is too large to be included within the Bay View article. VitusKonter (talk) 06:51, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nope, not even in "the other East Side" is this notable. --Orange Mike | Talk 02:38, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:NotableCheckertools/Sarey (singer)

How can i improve this article any help? Feel welcome to change the article to improve the quality. (NotableCheckertools (talk) 19:15, 28 February 2010 (UTC))[reply]

/User:Wikiwhackjack/KSM_Guitars

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Wikiwhackjack/KSM_Guitars

User:Wikiwhackjack/KSM_Guitars

I would like to publish this article and would like to know if there are any reasons that it would be denied.

Wikiwhackjack (talk) 20:53, 28 February 2010 (UTC) Chris Lott, 2/28/10[reply]

You haven't established why these guitars are Notable. You need to show that they are discussed in multiple reliable sources. So far, you have zero sources.

It will help (but not be sufficient) to show that notable musicians use the guitar. While you have listed two, you've haven't cited any references to verify that they do own the guitars.--SPhilbrick T 23:47, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Smoked Bear

Please provide feedback on a short article describing a public education campaign called Smoked Bear. Once I find the text or an MP3 of the radio spot(s) mentioned in the article, I will also include them on the article page.

Thanks in advance for any reviews. TnCom (talk) 04:59, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You linked to one article about the campaign, but I've found no other mention of the campaign, so I'm worried that it would not survive a proposal to delete on the basis of lack of Notability. Are there other discussions of this campaign in reliable sources?

Please do not copy the entire text of the campaign, as it is almost certainly a violation of Copyright. You may be able to use excerpts, but even that has to be done with care. An MP3 of the campaign is also almost certainly a copyright violation. You are free to investigate getting permission, but let's see if you can satisfactorily establish Notability first.

Sorry I can't be more positive.--SPhilbrick T 00:29, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I agree with SPhilbrick, I only found the one reference on google. It sounds like this is the personal mission of one indvidual at this point. Nuujinn (talk) 00:34, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the feed back SPhilbrick and Nuujinn. I was able to find another source and put it in the reference section. I will also try to find where the campaign is posted and provide a link there instead of posting the text or the MP3 TnCom (talk) 05:08, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sven Windahl

Hi, Just created a page on Swedish professor of communications Sven Windahl. This is my first Wikipedia article, so I hope someone out there will be able and willing to provide some constructive feedback.

Brainfu (talk) 10:32, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry, but I'm just not sure he's really notable--it seems like he has the normal credentials for an active academician, but nothing out of the ordinary or of particular notablity. This isn't a criticism of him or his work, there are very many people who do valuable and significant work who aren't notable. Nuujinn (talk) 16:03, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

FANTASTIC MAN magazine

Hello I created an article for Fantastic Man magazine last week and it does not seem to be live yet. I suppose it still needs feedback. I'm having a hard time with the whole Wikipedia submission process -- it is very convoluted if you ask me -- but from what I can tell, my article still needs to be reviewed. I'm eager to get it live so if someone can help me out, I would really appreciate it...

Thanks!

Matthew Stewart Matty stewart (talk) 12:54, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is live as Fantastic Man (magazine). I made some minor edits. When you reference a website you need to provide a brief title for the website, not just a link. See what I did with the New York Times reference. Anyway, a good start and OK as a stub article. Itsmejudith (talk) 13:58, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alex Hibbert

User:TinTin7/New article name here

hiding draft text

Hello,

Below is the updated version of Alex Hibbert's wikipedia page. I would much appreciate some feedback and hope all is adequate before it goes live. Thank you very much!

Alex Hibbert is a polar expedition leader, outdoor photographer, athlete and zoologist. In 2008 he broke the record, along with his teammate George Bullard, for the longest unsupported polar expedition in history. At 21 years old Alex led the 1374 mile, over 113 day Tiso Trans-Greenland Expedition.

Alex Hibbert wrote the story of his expedition in his book The Long Haul which will be published by Tricorn Books on March 15th, 2010. [edit] References

<http://www.tricornbooks.co.uk/menu-reviews}

<http://www.londonspeakerbureau.co.uk/alex_hibbert.aspx]

<http://www.wideworldmag.co.uk/features/alex-hibbert-s-polar-expeditions} [edit] External links

[www.alexhibbert.com ]

TinTin7 (talk) 13:15, 1 March 2010 (UTC)March 1st, 2010[reply]

Claire Buchar

I would appreciate any feedback on the following article

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claire_Buchar

Many thanks —Preceding unsigned comment added by TinaEPO (talk • contribs) 15:09, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A couple of things to consider:

You need to have a lede.
The first paragraph is not a paragraph, just a series of sentences. You should try to rework that into a narrative paragraph. Have a go at that and drop me a note on my talk page if you need some help.
You refer to the subject of the article by her first name, this comes across as familiar and that suggests a particular point of view. My suggestion would be to use her surname.
The article really needs a better set of references, I've put a few for consideration below (using google's news search in the archives is a good way to find references). You need a reference, for example, for her marriage.
I think if you could both provide some more general biographical data and also try to place her in her professional context (rather than just listed races she's won), that would also help.

http://www.torontosun.com/sports/othersports/2009/09/07/10775296-sun.html

http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/australian-mountain-bike-national-championships-cn/downhill-elite-women/results

I realize this may seem like a long list of things to work on, so please contact me on my talk page if you feel daunted or need help. You have made a good start, and this can be a very good article if you keep at it. Nuujinn (talk) 15:56, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks Nuujinn, I have made some edits and would appreciate additional feedback TinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)TinaEPOTinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Tjarrett/Veracode

(Also posted on the New Contributors' Help Page, where they suggested I post here.)

I am an experienced editor with a conflict of interest on an article in my userspace--the article is about my employer. I have made a few passes through it for peacock terms etc and have done my best to establish notability, but would appreciate new eyes on the article to help me weed out any other issues. I'd like to request a review of the article to see if it can be moved to the main article namespace. -Tjarrett (talk) 17:12, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, there does appear to be a conflict of interest problem, but I'm sure we all appreciate your honesty. I think you can establish notability given that you have a handful of sources not directly associated with the firm. I'd suggest dropping the references that come from the veracode website, regardless of the original source, and see what else you can find out and about on the net. Nuujinn (talk) 00:16, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Nuujinn. Am going to go through and remove the references that point to Veracode.com and source from other locations, and see what else can be done to bring in external points of reference. -Tjarrett (talk) 18:04, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay. Citations that previously pointed at Veracode.com now point to appropriate conference websites (for research presentations) or the referenced content has been deleted from the article. I also added content from two articles about the company in the offerings section. Could you take another look and see if there are other areas of concern I should address? -Tjarrett (talk) 20:10, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's better, but it's still pretty promotional. Someone else should probably take a look, tho, I work in IT, and my POV is a bit slanted. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nuujinn (talk • contribs) 15:41, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK. Posting second request for review below, then. Could I get one more reviewer to take a look at User:Tjarrett/Veracode? I am keen to find any more specific areas that need to be addressed for bias. -Tjarrett (talk) 19:10, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

PeerPong

Please give a general review of newly posted PeerPong Wiki entry. I am looking for ways to improve it.

Thank You! Lforrest11 (talk) 19:20, 1 March 2010 (UTC)Laura Forrest 3/1/2010[reply]

The big problem here is notability - as the site is still in private beta it is most unlikely to meet the notability guidelines at WP:WEB nor does the company appear to meet the guidelines at WP:CORP. The website/company may meet the guidelines at some time in the future, but they do not at the moment. I have tagged the article for speedy deletion. Sorry. – ukexpat (talk) 18:53, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Jack Garson

If anyone could review the above article it would be greatly appreciated!!

Jack Garson (born December 19, 1960) is the founder of Garson Claxton LLC and leads the firm’s business and real estate practice groups. Jack serves as a legal advisor for numerous local, regional and national companies, focusing on business transactions, commercial real estate, commercial leasing, and construction law. He is also a US author of How to Build a Business and Sell It for Millions published by St. Martin’s Press in March 2010.

Thanks!

MegOTMM (talk) 22:06, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Eriktb/Ala Moana Bowls

Hello, this is my first wikipedia entry. Please give me feedback. Eriktb (talk) 03:40, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's a pretty good start. The first thing I'd suggest is cleaning up the citations, see WP:CS for exmples--you might start with the basic footnote examples. If you have any questions or problems, drop me a note on my talk page. Nuujinn (talk) 15:35, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tongal

User:Fightonfortroy/Tongal

This article is about the crowdsourcing company Tongal. I'd appreciate any constructive criticism. Thanks for the help.

Fightonfortroy (talk) 04:03, 2 March 2010 (UTC)Fightonfortroy[reply]

Edward W. Estlow

Hello, please review [W. Estlow] for inclusion LSClark (talk) 07:56, 2 March 2010 (UTC)LSClark March 2, 2010[reply]

It's coming along nicely. In the headings, only capitalize the first word. The Manual of style helps with such things. Make sure you refer to the subject as "Estlow" throughout; avoid chatty phrasing like "Ed and his wife". Don't include the names of his children unless any of them are notable in their own right. Include links to relevant firms and institutions, especially University of Denver, on first mention. When you say "internal university documentation", that may be all right, but we prefer to use sources that other people can check. If you are referring to university web pages, give the URLs. Itsmejudith (talk) 12:41, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Portland (communications)

Dear All,

I would greatly appreciate it if someone could review this article have written on a PR company. Not the most interesting I know, but the consultancy has links to a fair few British politicians so I think it is of notable interest.

Many Thanks. --Adam Wildman (talk) 09:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure the company meets notability requirements, since it appears that the sources cited focus mostly on the people rather than the corporation. See WP:CORP for some more detail. Nuujinn (talk) 23:24, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi,

Thanks for taking the time to to back to me so quickly. In regards your comments, do you mean that the article needs re-wording, i.e. having quotes/references directly refering the company itself. What I'm asking is, will re-wording the article save it from deletion?

Thanks again. --Adam Wildman (talk) 11:31, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I can't say what will or won't save an article from deletion, since I'm not really involved in that part of the process at this point. I will say I think that if you move the article into your user space and work on it some more there, it's got a better chance of lasting longer. And yes, what I take from the article in it's current state is here's a PR firm seeking PR on the basis of the fame of the people who are associated with them. Wikipedia isn't about promotion, and while it seems that some of these individuals are themselves notable, I'm not seeing any evidence that the firm is. Nuujinn (talk) 00:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Robert "Bob" Olszewski, Miniature Figurative Artist (Born: May 2, 1945 - )

User:ROlszewski/Robert Olszewski —Preceding unsigned comment added by ROlszewski (talk • contribs) 15:30, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This appears (based on your user name) to be an autobiography. Creating an autobiography is strongly discouraged as it is hard to write about yourself from a neutral point of view. The draft is very promotional/non-neutral/unencyclopedic in tone and will need a lot of toning down and rewriting before it can be moved to the mainspace. It will also need more references to reliable sources to demonstrate notability per WP:CREATIVE. If you are the subject, I would suggest that you abandon the draft but ask for it to be created by posting at articles for creation. – ukexpat (talk) 18:32, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Shameless autobiographical spam; nothing of merit, nothing salvageable. --Orange Mike | Talk 01:23, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I concur with ukexpat and Orange Mike that this is not appropriate for WP. However, it is quite extensive, and shows evidence of a lot of work; it would be a shame to lose it. There is another site which accepts bios, without the NPOV requirement, but I've forgotten the name of it. Can someone remind me, so that Bob might move this work to a better venue?--SPhilbrick T 14:24, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Poking around, I found two options: Biographicon, WikiBios --SPhilbrick T 14:39, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Montana Justice Foundation

I have recently updated the Montana Justice Foundation page to include links on and to the page. I am hoping for someone to review the article again with these changes in place.

The Montana Justice Foundation is a non for profit organizations that uses IOLTA funds and donations to fund legal aid initiatives around Montana.

Lauren Asprooth (Lauren Asprooth 16:53, 2 March 2010 (UTC)) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Laurenasprooth (talk • contribs)

Before we worry about links, there is a more serious problem. The article needs citations to reliable sources that demonstrate how or why the organization is notable per the guidance at WP:ORG. Without such references, the article is destined to be nominated for deletion. References to the Foundation's website do not qualify as reliable to show notability. There are some formatting issues too: please take a look at {{Infobox non-profit}} to see how to use infobox code correctly; the tables for the executives and directors are not necessary, bulleted lists will do. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

International League of Conservation Writers

User:PattyMaher/International League of Conservation Writers

PattyMaher (talk) 22:38, 2 March 2010 (UTC)Patty Maher[reply]

Music_Teachers_Association_of_California

Hi, I would like feedback on my article about the Music Teachers' Association of California, MTAC, at User:Lowellwebster/Music Teachers Association of California. My article is very similar to the article MTNA. When my page is accepted, then a new entry needs to be made in the MTAC disambiguation page. Thanks, Lowellwebster (talk) 22:40, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please read the notability guidelines for organizations set out at WP:ORG - at the moment the draft has no references to reliable sources that demonstrate the notability of the subject. Note that the org's own website is not a reliable sources for establishing notability - significant coverage in third party sources is required. Hope this helps. (The same comments apply to MTNA and I have tagged it accordingly - I am surprised that it has survived for so long without references.) – ukexpat (talk) 16:59, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ramekin Counterpane

Thanks for reviewing my new article on Ramekin Counterpane, the '70s art-rock band from the Southern California desert.

I appreciate your help.

Rememberthe60s (talk) 02:21, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Saying that the band's popularity is comparable to 10cc does not reflect reality. You should have another look at this statement. Also, the quote needs attribution.

Brhodewalt (talk) 03:06, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The fact that this band has no mention at Allmusic, instantly suggests to me that they are not notable. Please read the guidelines - they may save you much time and effort.

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 15:36, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Carl Moyer Program

Please give a general review of this recently posted Wiki entry. I want to make sure it is clear and that all citations are noted.

Carl Moyer Program

--Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 02:37, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As a preliminary review, right now the article is almost entirely sourced using primary sources. You need secondary sources (also called third party sources) in the article—reliable newspaper articles, documentaries, books, magazine articles—written by people unaffiliated with the program. This type of subject is necessarily going to have to rely to some extent on primary source material but it should not rely on them entirely. Because of the way it's written, it reads like a brochure. When the subject of an article is a person or a company and it reads like this the impression is much worse because promotional on such subjects smacks of self-aggrandizement, whereas this is a government program—but it still sounds like ad-copy. We strive for neutrally written, balanced articles, giving voice to positive and negative criticism where appropriate. I also imagine you have a conflict of interest; that you are in some way personally involved with this topic, which makes writing a balanced article not only difficult, but usually it is not something the writer wants to do. Right now I could see it being nominated for deletion as promotion.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 03:58, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, Requests for feedback. You have new messages at Fuhghettaboutit's talk page.
You can remove this notice at any time by removing the {{Talkback}} or {{Tb}} template.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll get on this right away to address the citation and neutrality issues! Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 18:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Real Estate Investment Securities Association (REISA)

This is original information about a real estate industry trade group. There are currently about 30 of these type of groups listed in Wikipedia, but nothing on REISA. Errors pop up related to the references and am not experienced enough to resolve it. I tried to be neutral and only state the facts. Help me to not make this an advertisement, but an informative piece on what the association is about.

(Investmentconnector (talk) 05:47, 3 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

It's not bad at all. It will be better if you take out a lot of the detail, because that is what makes it read like an advertisement or corporate website. For example, it isn't appropriate to have the full postal address; the city is sufficient. The article could be about half the length. If there is any discussion of the association in independent sources, for example trade press, that should be added. Itsmejudith (talk) 16:46, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Organizational Behavior And Leadership During A Political Revolution

To Whom This May Concern,

Hello, this is my first real contribution to Wikipedia. Please feel free to edit this so it meets the encyclopedia standard, or help teach me so I can do this myself.

Thanks! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Robsmyth40 (talk • contribs) 07:23, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I will see if I can provide some helpful points. First off, this article indeed reads a lot like an essay - and needs to be re-written in encyclopedic style. Also, please look at incorporating good inline citations (see here), and add a good introduction that properly summarizes the entire article - with a short succinct statement that truly defines what is meant by "Organizational Behavior And Leadership During A Political Revolution", and that this can be considered a truly encyclopedic article. Jwoodger (talk) 02:18, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hamilton Bradshaw

The Wikipedia page Hamilton Bradshaw was recently created. Much thanks to the help that has been provided by my peers editing the page. However, as can be noted when viewing the page, there is still work to be done. Specifically, I need help removing the "advert" designation at the top of the page. It was added when the page was more biased than it is now, but I think almost all of the bias has been eliminated. Can someone please review the page and help me to make it sound completely neutral? I would really like to get the "advert" designation removed.

Additionally, to get the page legitimized, the page states that "This page is a new unreviewed article." I would like for a verified Wikipedian to review the site and remove this designation when reviewed. I would love for the site to be legitimized. Thanks for your time.

CodyJDick (talk) 11:17, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think this one needs a lot of work on the tone, it's still very promotional. For example, these phrases are very far from a neutral point of view:

However, Caan isn't the only human capital asset that Hamilton Bradshaw touts. Because Caan is often away from the office, between filming Dragons' Den, interviewing on major news and talk shows, and huminitarian and philanthropic projects, the company has many other staff.

Also, I think you should eliminate pretty much all of the material that comes directly from HB's web site and promotional materials. You have some good references, but they are overshadowed by the promotional material, and I'm not sure that what you have established notability.Nuujinn (talk) 15:21, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Head Cut (Stream Geomorphology)

Would appreciate a review of my first article about a geomorphological feature I encountered on a recent field visit. I was calling this feature a small waterfall in the field but I assumed there was a better name for it. Thus I found info on a head cut from the North Carolina Dept of Water Quality and summed up what I learned in this article.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submerged-arc_furnace_for_phosphorus_production

To whom it may concern

Very little is found in Wikipedia on submerged-arc furnaces. Submerged-arc furnaces is a very important subset of electrical arc furnaces and should have a rightful place on such a great website. This article deals with the production of phosphorus by using such a furnace.

I hope you find this a good first step Regards Emile —Preceding unsigned comment added by Emilescheepers444 (talk • contribs) 16:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's a very good start, but I think you need more references. It's best if every assertion made in an article can be supported by an external and reliable source. I think you should be able to find some more with just a little work, but drop me a note on my talk page if you get stuck. Nuujinn (talk) 21:17, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Electro Thermal Dynamic Stripping Process

Can someone please review my article?

Thanks!

174.0.65.21 (talk) 17:22, 3 March 2010 (UTC)Phil mc2 2010/03/03[reply]

I am afraid that I have tagged the article for speedily deletion as spam - it appears to be an advertisement and how-to for the process masquerading as an article. – ukexpat (talk) 16:50, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ski Utah

Hello- I am trying to create an article on the history of skiing in Utah. This is the first draft User:Jkunzer/Ski Utah. The article discusses the history and development of skiing in Utah and the state's 13 resorts. I would really appreciate any feedback.

Jkunzer (talk) 22:32, 3 March 2010 (UTC) Jessica Kunzer 03/03/10[reply]

At the moment the draft is far too promotional in tone and would be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. Some of it is written in the first person which may indicate that you are connected with the organization - if so, you have a conflict of interest and should not be creating the article. Final point for now, the draft has no references to reliable sources to demonstrate that the subject meets the notability guidelines set out at WP:ORG. – ukexpat (talk) 16:45, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Maclau/Cecilia López Montaño

I would really appreciate a ny reviews on the Senator's page in english. She already has one in Spanish but given the nature of her international work, she feels it would be helpfull to have an official version in this language.

Thank you,

MC —Preceding unsigned comment added by Maclau (talk • contribs) 22:47, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I’m afraid this is not suitable to go live at present, firstly because it does not comply with Wikipedia’s policy on neutral point of view. The layout is fine and some of the material is neutral and factual, but in parts it reads like a promotional piece written by the senator herself or a press officer, and contains a number of peacock terms and value judgements: (“... a tireless and determined writer” “... effective and strong political control” “...her most outstanding work is ...” “...solid professional background that keeps growing every day”). These all need to be removed or rewritten in a neutral tone, as does the comment about “the government’s inefficient management of the financial crisis” which is political bias. If you are writing this on behalf of Ms. Lopez, you should read Wikipedia:Conflict of interest carefully before proceeding further. If you do go ahead, the second sentence in the lead section would be better as the first sentence, stating exactly what Ms Lopez does before anything else. Most crucially of all, this article is completely unreferenced and has no citations at all for any of the information in it. You need to find reliable third-party sources and cite these correctly - see Wikipedia: Citing sources. The two links to Ms Lopez’s websites are currently embedded in the text; they should be removed to an external links section at the end.

I am slightly concerned by your reference to an “official” version in English. Please bear in mind that if this article goes live it is in no sense an official work: you will not own it and nor will Ms Lopez. Anyone can and will edit it, and you will have no right to keep your own preferred version. It’s always worth reading through WP:LUC before making an article about a person or subject with which you are closely affiliated. Ka renjc 20:47, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Paintball

Over the last several months I have worked on Paintball quite a bit, and would be curious to see if it could be a candidate for a higher ranking (currently sitting at B ranking - and is a former good article nominee). Jwoodger (talk) 00:52, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not involved in quality assessment at all; perhaps someone who checks in here on occasion can help, but my impression is that Quality assessment of articles tends to be managed by projects. There is a Wikipedia:WikiProject Paintball; perhaps check in there (and add your name to the list of volunteers :) and you might ask one of the regulars in that project who does the assessments.--SPhilbrick T 16:45, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

James W. "Jim" Case

(Jborrego16 (talk) 06:49, 4 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

It's a well constructed, well organised and and generally well written article, though it suffers somewhat from POV language and "anecdotism" in places and should be toned down to a more neutral style. The lead section should be more specific about what the subject actually did - his notability isn't down to his university, it's down to his work as a TV production executive. I did have some anxiety about his notability at first, because there are few checkable references and those that exist don't make too strong a case for his notability, but reading through WP:N again I think he makes it on his association with pioneering programmes for public TV, and perhaps this could be emphasised more in the article. The "personal interview" cited in several places is an inadmissible piece of original research unless it's published somewhere in a neutral third party source, and it should be removed from the citations list along with any important facts that rely solely on it. Subheadings should be initial capitals only, per WP:MOS. The article title should not have both versions of his name in, and should be changed to Jim Case if that's how he was always known, or alternatively James W. Case with the first line of the lead section beginning "James W. "Jim" Case was ..." etc. Hope this helps, and thanks for writing the article. Ka renjc 11:21, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good Garage Scheme

Please could the page Good Garage Scheme be reviewed and any appropriate feedback left so I can ammend and build upon the page. I have added all appropriate sources and information to my best ability, but would appreciate any constructive criticism.

Thanks

Laurahuet (talk) 09:28, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish Notability, by showing this is discussed in third party, reliable sources. While you do have some references, all but one is to the entity itself, so do not qualify as external references. The remaining reference may not qualify, but I didn't even see the reference to the campaign.--SPhilbrick T 14:57, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Winifred Marshall Gales

I'd love to get any feedback you may have on this article on Winifred Gales. I've included all of the biography I could find, and also some external links. Thanks! NCandbeyond (talk) 13:50, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

One of the key issues to address is Notability, in particular, look at WP:AUTHOR. I don't know anything about the books this author has written, but there are books and there are books. The notability could be established by identifying reliable sources discussing either the author or the books, ideally both.--SPhilbrick T 14:49, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wylie Stateman

Wylie Stateman Wylie Stateman

Hello and thank you for taking a look at this page, especially interested to hear your thoughts since Wylie is up for an Oscar this weekend.

Best

Soundsoff (talk) 00:46, 5 March 2010 (UTC)Soundsoff[reply]

Lost Boys: Why our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them

The article in question
My first ever article so need some help. Wrote a simple introduction with external links for an important book in the comprehension of youth violence. Thanks in advance --Mbret001 (talk) 08:10, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the article itself lacks inline citations--you're providing a simple description of the work, and an external link to a review. You could improve the article by adding some inline citations for some external references that help establish why this book is notable. Nuujinn (talk) 14:59, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Project Noah

Peterhorvath (talk) 15:12, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed and added a couple of maintenance tags. The main issue is notability - I am not convinced that the references demonstrate notability per the guidelines at WP:PRODUCT. – ukexpat (talk) 16:34, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

John Russell (musician)

This is my first article. I've put quite a lot of work into it but would appreciate it if someone could review it or give some feedback. Many thanks!PressedBack (talk) 15:49, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Here's the link: John Russell (musician)PressedBack (talk) 15:52, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately the link you have provided is to the disambiguation page for John Russell. Could you try again ?

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 16:13, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A very impressive first article; congratulations. I've removed the unreviewed tag. If I had a (very) minor quibble it would be the reference to events being "ongoing" as this type of material tends to date. Other than that, nice work. Ka renjc 18:46, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, thanks! I take your point about "ongoing" and will find a way to ammend that. --PressedBack (talk) 22:38, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Employer Branding and Employer Brand Management

User:R W Mosley/Employer branding and Employer brand management

(R W Mosley (talk) 18:20, 5 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

I have taken a look and made some formatting fixes to the headings to comply with the manual of style. The subject would appear to be notable. A couple of points - please take a look at WP:LEAD for an explanation of what the lead section should do. At the moment it is not at all clear from the lead what the subject actually is/means. Also there is some jargon in the article which may not be immediately comprehensible to the layman reader. When it is ready to move to the mainspace, I think Employer branding would be the correct title. You have plenty of references, which is good. If any of them are online, please use the {{cite web}} template to cite them, and similarly {{cite book}} for citations from books and {{cite journal}} for journals. There is also a technique for using the same reference more than once and that's explained at WP:NAMEDREFS. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 18:35, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Rangertee/75th_Ranger_Regiment_Association,_Inc.

Hi.

I am looking for feedback on my first article. The Article is: User:Rangertee/75th_Ranger_Regiment_Association,_Inc.

I have tried to read the help articles and guidelines thoroughly, and would appreciate some feedback. I have permission to reproduce the material contained in the article, and have footnoted all the information in the article itself.

The wikilink to the article is:

User:Rangertee/75th_Ranger_Regiment_Association,_Inc.

Thank you, in advance, for your time.

Rangertee (talk) 20:13, 5 March 2010 (UTC)Rangertee. March 5, 2010: 3:07p.m.EST (GMT-5:00)[reply]

Entries in "See Also" should not be full links but Wikilinks. I fixed the first two for you.
Please read Article Layout, as your layout does not match the desired layout.
Links in External Links should not be the same ones as in References.
You have a Notes section with some references, but a separate Reference section with others. The second section is not how references are done. See footnotes
In many cases, you've linked to a term in WP, but used the full url, not just the Wikilink. I fixed the ones in your lede, as examples.
Most importantly, you said you obtained permission to use material. This is a tricky and serious area. Sometimes, people will give permission to use material as long as it is used in Wikipedia only. That type of permission is not sufficient, and people need to understand that once in Wikipedia, it can be used elsewhere, for many purposes include for profit and for parody. You need to have permission sent to Wikipedia, in proper format. See WP:COPYRIGHT for general info, and WP:PERMISSION for specific steps to ensure that proper permission is obtained. Sorry for the bureaucracy, but copyright is taken very seriously and we want to make sure we do it right.--SPhilbrick T 15:45, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ideatree

IdeaTree

Looking for general correctness. Thanks.

Ronman57 (talk) 21:09, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish Notability, by showing this is discussed in third party, reliable sources. While you do have one reference, you need more. --SPhilbrick T 15:28, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them

Would like to request feedback for the revisions I have made for my page. Page link. Thanks in advance for your time. It is much appreciated.--Mbret001 (talk) 21:34, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dimitri "Mobengo" Mugianis

dimitri "mobengo" Mugianis —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bovenga (talk • contribs) 21:37, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Denver Depression of 1893

Denver Depression of 1893 I would just like to have my article reviewed to make sure things are in order for a wikipedia entry.

MichelaA (talk) 21:57, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think "bimetallism" should be capitalized. I changed it.
I made a few other minor fixes, you can click on history to see what I did (ask if you need more help on how to see historical changes).
I'm not enamored with "disestablished" as a word choice under causes. What about "repealed" (assuming it was repealed)?
You have some phrases indented with a bullet point for no obvious reason, e.g "Owned by Reverend Thomas Uzzell".
Your opening sentence of "Effects" could use a more specific time frame.
The next sentence is too long, consider changing July to "in July and ending the sentence there.
The sentence that starts "Many unemployed miners.." needs work—it starts fine, but ends awkwardly.
The sentence starting "August 11, 1893" shouldn't start with a bare date; work it into the text. The end of that sentence is awkward; I can guess what it means, but it needs improvement.
After footnote 12, you should have text that flows, not bullet point type items in text.
In the last sentence before Politics, this should not be a bulleted. What does "this" refer to? "broadway" shows are in New York. I assume you mean something like theatrical productions.
In People, I presume all of these people are dead, so it is odd to see the death date for one of the people. I suggest removing it.
"Only saved from destitution in 1898 by his appointment to Postmaster." Is not a sentence.
Despite this longish list, everything I've mentioned is easy to fix, but give it a good run through to see if other wording needs tightening up. --SPhilbrick T 23:00, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

External links are for links not in references, so I removed the external link.--SPhilbrick T 23:03, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Joey_Babbitt/Cornerstone_Church_of_San_Diego

Cornerstone Church of San Diego

I'm working on an article about a local church, Cornerstone Church of San Diego. It has gained notoriety lately since it was named the 3rd fastest growing church in America by Outreach Magazine. The pastor also has the service broadcasted on a local Christian radio station, KPRZ, on Sunday morning. Looking at other churches in Wikipedia, I believe this church merits inclusion. Am I correct? Joey Babbitt (talk) 02:21, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I see that you have now moved it to the mainspace. I have reviewed it and removed the tag. – ukexpat (talk) 18:11, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Bexhill Amateur Theatrical Society

Bexhill Amateur Theatrical Society Bradburp (talk) 09:37, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please read Article Layout, your article structure isn't in the form desired. You'll also need to establish Notability by providing references to reliable sources.--SPhilbrick T 13:13, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Publishing Article

Hello - can you please let me know why my article isn't posting? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mbeaudreault/Mercator_Risk_Services

THanks,

Maura —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mbeaudreault (talk • contribs) 12:20, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

By "posted" I assume you mean you want it to show up if someone does a search for it. That won't happen until it is moved into mainspace, but that shouldn't happen until it is ready.

Sorry to be blunt, but it reads like a advertisement, not an encyclopedia article. See WP:PROMO.

You haven't established why this company has Notability. I'm sure it will meet the standard; I'm familiar with the company, but you need to establish it by providing references to reliable sources. References can be tricky for new editors, see WP:CITE and footnotes for help.--SPhilbrick T 13:10, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alan Loveday

Dear Wiki Editor

Please review my article on the violinist Alan Loveday Alan Loveday Flying spiccato (talk) 15:19, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You have no references to reliable sources. The format is not appropriate for Wikipedia, see Article Layout for some guidance. The style of writing is not encyclopedic; check other articles on other violinists to see the difference.--SPhilbrick T 16:32, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

article name Mark W. Moffett

Dear Philbrick?, thanks for the comments. I fear this is just too tricky for me as I struggle to earn a living and meditate. I could not even figure out how to send you a message, or to remove this humble first effort. Perhaps I will try again this summer. Please email me at ordman@beloit.edu if you don't mind me contacting you directly via email. Thanks. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rocordman (talk • contribs) 13:33, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I cannot figure how to do the wikilink - here's the URL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_feedback#Mark_W._Moffett_New_page_to_post

He is a distinguished scholar of sociobiology, top photographer/writer for National Geographic, runs a research station in the Amazon Rain Forest canopy, etc. I have posted a draft for comments. I responded to a previous comment and added many more references. I would like to add a photograph but I do not know how. I would like to post it a week from now depending on comments. You can email me at <redacted>. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rocordman (talk • contribs) 15:45, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Check out WP:Article wizard 2.0. It will help you start the process, including the steps to create your draft in a user subpage. --SPhilbrick T 16:38, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's good that you have found some references, however the structure is not appropriate for Wikipedia, see Article Layout for some guidance.--SPhilbrick T 16:41, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Article named Virtual disk image

I will appreciate a review of the technical article virtual disk image

Categories: Virtual machines | Virtualization software | Hypervisor | Computer Storage | Computer File Systems

Thanks (Barnet.Herts (talk) 23:53, 7 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

I took an admittedly quick look through, and it seems fine to me. I'll take another look later once my head cold clears up, but that seems like a very useful article for sysadmins. Nuujinn (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Trozzolo Communications Group

User:Moraqjo/Trozzolo Communications Group

Please review the userpage for Trozzolo Communications Group Moraqjo (talk) 02:17, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment the subject does not appear to be notable per the guidelines set out at WP:CORP - you will have to cite significant coverage in reliable sources to establish notability, minor coverage in a local newspaper doesn't cut it I am afraid. – ukexpat (talk) 18:02, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Abraham Lincoln Institute

I am working on my first article, an entry on an organization I am a part of named the User:Gleidner/Abraham Lincoln Institute. It is in my userspace and I believe it is close to ready (although I would like to make the institute's website a little more prominent than it is now--as a reference) but would appreciate feedback. I received some kind help from Wifione a few hours ago. Many thanks.

Gleidner (talk) 08:45, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have not looked at your potential new article, but your comment of "an organization I am a part of" immediately brings to mind Wikipedia:Conflict of interest. You may already be aware of this guidance, but if not, it is well worth a look.

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 09:07, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

In addition to the above, please take a look at the notability guidelines for organizations set out at WP:ORG. To demonstrate the notability of the subject, you will have to cite significant coverage in reliable sources - the organization's website is not considered reliable for establishing notability. – ukexpat (talk) 17:55, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Since nothing has happened to your draft after the posts above, I suppose you have been effectively discouraged from editing it. For my part, I find the draft useful and would regret if your effort was in vain. It appears NPOV and uncontroversial; the problem is that notability isn't demonstrated. Maybe a solution could be that you correct these faults and then somebody uninvolved creates the article based on your draft (and other material, if they see fit)? --Jonund (talk) 17:33, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ryoji Ikeda

User:Formaartsandmedia Has deleted a photograph from the Ryoji Ikeda article saying that "I've remomed Ryoji's photograph as he does not allow his photo to be taken and/or used for publicity or media purposes." "We are pursuing the user directly in regards to this. Please do not re-upload this image." The photograph would appear to have the correct creative commons license. what are anyones thoughts? Teapotgeorge^Talk 18:01, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The removal of the image has been reverted and the user blocked. Not much more to be said really. – ukexpat (talk) 21:25, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

French Bull LLC Latest Draft

Looking for feedback on this latest French Bull Draft, thank you so much for your help http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:161e61 161e61 3/8/2010161e61 (talk) 21:30, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Two major problems as indicated by the tags: the company does not appear to be notable per the guidelines at WP:CORP; second, it needs much better sourcing to support notability, see WP:RS. – ukexpat (talk) 21:52, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Countess Free Church Ely

I have recently created and published a page on the Countess Free Church Ely and would like someone to review it and give their views on it. I am planning to take a picture of the church and add that to the article.

Xabbzziieex (talk) 08:51, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This article is well organised and clear, but it is not currently an encyclopaedia entry. It tells us little or nothing about the church itself, but reads like an information brochure advertising the minutiae of the various activities on offer. Details of session times and charges for youth clubs and the like are not really appropriate here - they are more suited to the church's own website than to an encyclopaedia article, and I would suggest that info of this type be condensed to a brief general summary, and info about the church itself be expanded to replace it. All or almost all the references are to the church's own website, which is not a reliable independent source. The small amount of historical info included in the lead section suggests that the church probably is notable, but none of the references support that conclusion at present so some reliable third-party sources are required. The photo would be an excellent idea and I'd also add and fill in the {{Infobox church}} template. I've removed the unreviewed tag and tagged the article for general cleanup instead. Ka renjc 15:33, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your help, I will continue working on the article and try to improve it in the ways that you have suggested. I am struggling to find any good references at the moment, but will keep looking. Xabbzziieex (talk) 11:59, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Martin Tod

I am creating an article about Martin Tod who is a British politician standing for election. Although the article is not currently notable it may be after the upcoming UK general election, which is why it assumes that his election has been successful. As this is my first article I would appreciate some feedback in the hope that the article will attain notability and can be published. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Wintonian (talk • contribs) 14:52, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A little early to be counting your chickens, hmm? Even if he's elected, the usable coverage of him during and immediately after the election will change what you can write significantly, so it seems a little hasty to produce an article speculating that he might have a significant front-bench role after the election: in a couple of months you'll know either way! In any case: (1) don't call him "Martin", call him "Tod". (2) Put all your dates in the same format (day month year, not a mixture of this and month day year), and don't write "6th May 2010" but "6 May 2010". (3) I wouldn't include the political party and constituency navboxes at the foot of the article, since they don't have links (and won't have links) to Tod. Bencherlite ^Talk 21:12, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the input, I didn't relise that my dates were in diffrent formats so thats good to know, i'll remove the navboxes, I only speculated on the poss front bench role as it was in one the the sources and seemed relevent, wasn't sure weather to refere to him by first or surname, If he dosn't get elected then I'll count it as good practice and re-write it in 4/5 years :-). Thanks again I'll pop back when I've made some changes. --Wintonian (talk) 22:18, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Take out the false content now; this could be found by search engines in its current form and seriously mislead people. --Orange Mike | Talk 16:41, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Help in publishing new article on a "green energy" leader in Austin

I am posting an article, but am having trouble. The instructions say when you're ready to make it live you just click the "move" tab at the top of the page. Problem is I don't have a "move" tab visible.

So how to make my test page live?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Crboisseau/Roger_Duncan

Also, I have a photo, but I can't seem to upload it -- it's a copyright photo and I was going to give credit to the source, a local newspaper, but can't find out if this is ok to do or not.

my email is <redacted>

Thanks,

Charles Boisseau —Preceding unsigned comment added by Crboisseau (talk • contribs) 17:18, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I will take a look at the draft as soon as I can. In the meantime a standard image help message follows, but subject to a very narrow range of exceptions, copyrighted images of living people are not acceptable for use on Wikipdia:

If you want to add an existing image to an article, add [[Image:File name.jpg|thumb|Caption text.]] to the area of the article where you want the image to appear – replacing File name.jpg with the actual file name of the image, and Caption text with a short description of the image. See our picture tutorial for more information.
If you want to upload an image from your computer for use in an article, you must find out what the proper license of the image is. If you know the image is licensed under a free-license, upload it to the Wikimedia Commons instead of here, so that all projects have access to the image (sign up). If you are unsure what license the image takes, see the file upload wizard for more information. Please also read Wikipedia's image use policy. I hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 22:42, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Michelle Dartis/The Chris Gonzalez Library and Archives

User:Michelle Dartis/The Chris Gonzalez Library and Archives

I am a new contributor to Wikipedia.com. My article is about the Chris Gonzalez Library and Archives, The one and only GLBT library in Indianapolis, Indiana. It delves into the history of the library and its founder and basically how it came into existence.

At the end, I give an explanation about the namesake of the library.Michelle D. Dartis 18:03, 9 March 2010 (UTC)Michelle D. Dartis 1:00 p.m., 9 March 2010. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Michelle Dartis (talk • contribs)

I don’t have time at the moment to give this the attention it deserves, but I will come back. In the meantime, I fixed your references. See WP:Cite and WP:FOOT for more details on how to do references.SPhilbrick T 18:22, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I moved the image to the right, (per Article Layout guidelines)
I added a caption to the image, feel free to edit or remove it.
You have "Indy Pride, Inc.," in square brackets. I removed them.
I don't think "Bob and Margaret Green" should be capitalized, but I'm not sure.
"Brainchild" is arguably a WP:PEACOCK word, although it isn't in the list.
I made a few other minor changes, which you can see by looking at the edit history (if you don't know how, just ask).
I removed the reference section you created, as references are automatically generated if you add the {{reflist}} template, as I did for you
I converted the references style to Wp:LDR
We generally don't use "ibid", so I changed those references.
I want to fix Indy pride link, but later
~~You list the address at 815 Muskingham Street. Isn't it at 1112 Southeastern Ave. ? I can't find 815 Muskingham Street.~~ Indy Pride lists their location at Muskingham but they really mean Muskingum; I fixed it
Nice start, still needs a little copy editing, but looks good.--SPhilbrick T 14:15, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I also removed the initial section header, so it has a proper lede, which moves the TOC down to the usual location.--SPhilbrick T 14:26, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I added a coordinates templates, so there is a link in the upper right corner, which gives people the ability to go to a map of the location

Thanks so much for reviewing and cleaning this article up. I tried to correct the things that you did, but it was taking a long time to find the directions I needed and I simply gave up! I really all the updates and glad you were able to get to it so quickly.Michelle D. Dartis 17:13, 10 March 2010 (UTC)Michelle Dartis —Preceding unsigned comment added by Michelle Dartis (talk • contribs)

There are still problems with the tone, it does read a bit like a promotional piece and some of the language isn't encyclopedic: "proud recipient", "for generations to come", "the library's role was to keep a shining light" etc. – ukexpat (talk) 17:57, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lubov Azria

This is a new article about Lubov Azria, creative director of BCBGMAXAZRIA: User:Emmamabel/Lubov_Azria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Emmamabel/Lubov_Azria I understand from editor Orange Mike that there have been issues with this subject in the past, so he created this sandbox for me to submit an entirely new article. It hasn't been reviewed yet, and I don't want to post it on the site without ensuring it won't be deleted. I appreciate everyone's help.

Thanks! EmmaEmmamabel (talk) 18:59, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scott Cutshall

User:Herbert Blockstein/Scott Cutshall

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Herbert Blockstein (talk) 06:41, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, I made an error with the link to the article. Still learning.

Herbert Blockstein (talk) 06:42, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

We were all new here once, and it can be confusing. Stick with it, and you'll be a pro in no time. Here's a better way to link to your draft: Scott Cutshall. (Click on the edit button to see what to type.)

Actually on this page it is more helpful not to "pipe" the page link so that we can quickly determine whether the page is in mainspace or userspace. I fixed it in the request above. – ukexpat (talk) 14:36, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good point.--SPhilbrick T 14:59, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You should take a look at Article Layout, to see how the article should be organized. Sections will help, rather than just one unbroken section.
You have some references, but you need to use Wikipedia:Inline citations, so we can see that factual claims are supported by the references.
It is important to establish Notability. Perhaps some of your links do that, but addressing the point above will help us determine whether the claims of notability are established.
The rumor about the book must be cited to a reliable source or removed.--SPhilbrick T 15:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, all. Great input, and I'll start working on it very soon! Herbert Blockstein (talk) 05:13, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Citizen Schools

I've been working on a an article on the non-profit, Citizen Schools, and would like feedback request to help me improve the article.

JP (talk) 15:29, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed and made a few clean up edits. A few more references to third party sources (ie additional press coverage) would be good if you can find them. I also added some relevant categories. You should consider adding an infobox at the top of the article - {{Infobox Non-profit}} would be appropriate. Let me know if you need help with that. I have also removed the post-move redirect from your user page. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

ProductivitySuite

Hi,

I would like to request feedback for the ProductivitySuite article please.

Tsutcliffe (talk) 16:54, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish Notability by citing third party references in reliable sources. You have 3 references, but they are all first party.--SPhilbrick T 20:10, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Vern Monnett Article Review Request

Hi,

I'm new to this, and trying to get a review of my article (Vern Monnett).

Time allowing, would one of the editors mind giving this a review, and if you find things to be acceptable, please remove the "New Article", "Close Connection" and General Notability" tags. I'm afraid the latter two were triggered yesterday by a filter during an attempt to clean up some of my citations.

Any positive feedback would be greatly appreciated. A fuller explanation about the article is listed on my talk page.

Thank you in advance for your help!

Vern MonnettVernmonnett (talk) 18:14, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The explanation is at the talk page of the article, which is not the same as your talk page.--SPhilbrick T 20:00, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mark P. Painter

User:CincyLawyer/Mark P. Painter Painter is a former judge retired from the Ohio 1st District Court of Appeals in Hamilton County (Cincinnati). He became the first and only American elected to a brand new United Nations Appeals Tribunal last summer. Please critique this biography. Thank you. CincyLawyer (talk) 18:30, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need more references to support the claims in the article. For example, the main claim is "In March 2009, Painter became the first and only American to be elected by the United Nations General Assembly to the United Nations Appeals Tribunal", but you've cited nothing to show it is a fact.
You have a good claim for Notability "A prolific writer, he is the author of six books including The Legal Writer: 40 Rules for the Art of Legal Writing, 130 articles, and more than 400 published court opinions. He writes a monthly column on legal writing for Lawyers USA", but again, not supported by a reference. Your second reference helps, but it doesn't support the full claim.
There are other facts also needing support.
By the way, how important is the United Nations Appeals Tribunal? It sounds important, but we don't have a Wikipedia article about it. Is it discussed in some other Wikipedia article? If not, it will probably be necessary to establish the notability of that entity (it is possible we have deemed any UN organization notable, but I don't know that.)--SPhilbrick T 20:20, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the suggestions. I'm new to Wikipedia writing and editing. The UN Appeals Tribunal is the first of its kind and Mark Painter was the only American to be elected. The election results are posted on the UN's Web site, although I don't know if it explicitly says Painter was the "first and only American." The Appeals Tribunal will hear appeals from the lower (trial level) Tribunal. Both courts will deal with complaints from within the UN, mainly employment disputes, eg: sexual harassment and discrimination in the form of adverse employment actions such as termination, demotion and failure to promote. Because the Appeals Tribunal is new, the inaugural body will establish its own precedent by way of case law. (In other words, there is no existing case law so the Tribunal will write it.) The source of law used will be the UN Charter. I didn't find a Wikipedia article on the new UN Tribunals but I think there should be one because their decisions will effect all UN employees. Thank you again. I'll work on obtaining more sources. CincyLawyer (talk) 21:14, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I just looked again at the third reference, the PDF with information on the judges of the tribunal that is on the UN's Web site, and it supports the fact that Painter has more than 400 published opinions and 130 articles and is the author of six books. (He's one of the most published judges in the country.) Is the UN an acceptable source for that information? CincyLawyer (talk) 21:27, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oops, I looked at your third reference, and missed that it was two pages, so thought it was simply supporting the other members. yes, that should be a good reference. --SPhilbrick T 21:58, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Woodenships513/The_Activators

This article is about The Activators, a perofrmance group for children that promotes exercise and healthy living. I worked on the article yesterday and today, and just wanted the official go-ahead to upload it on Wikipedia.

Thank you for your help.

Woodenships513 (talk) 18:53, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

David 03/10/2010

I have made a few minor formatting and content changes, but the biggest problem is notability. At the moment the draft only has one "third party" reference, ie a reference to a secondary source not connected with the subject. To demonstrate notability per WP:ORG or WP:BAND you need to cite significant coverage in reliable sources, ie multiple sources. – ukexpat (talk) 20:43, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Rodney Alcala

Rodney Alcala My first ground-up original wiki page. Still a "Draft" page. Written (took pains to be neutral), sourced, wikilinked, infoboxed, project tagged (2 O_O)...all it's missing is a pic and a notation about that is on the talk page...and maybe a redirect for his moniker.

Caution: Bio of a living serial killer.

Is it ready to go live?

Feel free to re-post responses to my user talk page. Thanks in advance! ;) VulpineLady (talk) 00:03, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

First line hit me hard. I always try to make the first line the most meaningful, packing a lot of important information into it. Yours is too short I think. You pulled a rather vague comment by a police officer to put into the lede: "He's right up somewhere just below Hitler and right around Ted Bundy" translated to "He has been likened to notorious serial killer Ted Bundy as well as to Adolf Hitler." The Criminal History section needs to be broken up and was a bit hard to follow. Aliases section is not needed, repeated in infobox. Please format your references if you get a chance, use my SnipManager to make it easier. Looks pretty good overall, and definitely good on length. --Odie5533 (talk) 07:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Cleary University

The Cleary University article needs a bit of work and I am hoping to find some time to work on it. I am taping your expansive knowledge about university wiki pages to guide my work. ANY FEEDBACK about the existing article would be greatly appreciated. --IntensifyIt (talk) 04:19, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the infobox in the article is good, there's plenty of information in there. I don't think it's necessary to list every qualification people can get there, and the history section could be spread out or reworded slightly, although there are plenty of references in the whole article. I think it could also be expanded slightly too, there must be something about this university that is worth including in the article. Thanks for helping out. Chevymontecarlo. 13:10, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

SAA Architecure, LLC

SAA Architecture, LLC

Please review my article that was posted on Thursday March 4, 2010. Thanks!!

Wendyfables (talk) 20:02, 11 March 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables[reply]

I moved it to SAA Architecture in accordance with Wikipedia's naming conventions for companies. There are some issues as the tag indicates. I think it's a little promotional in tone - in particular the list of major projects is too long - I would list just a handful, preferably those that already have Wikipedia articles, if any (and link to them). Similarly for the awards section - trim it down to just major awards that the firm has won. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wendyfables (talk) 11:26, 15 march 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables Thankyou for the feedback - i will make the suggested changes!

(Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))I made more changes that were suggested. Can you please review again and consider removing the flags? Thank you! (Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

(Wendyfables (talk) 16:59, 29 March 2010 (UTC) I've made additional changes to the document (cleaned up the LEED link issue) and removed several lists - please remove the flags or explain where the neutrality is compromised. Thank you in advance. Wendyfables (talk) 21:00, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Trupanion

Trupanion User:Bcopstead/Trupanion

Hello, this is my first article. Thank you for your feedback. --Bcopstead (talk) 23:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The general arrangement of the article is not bad, but the references need improvement. Press releases and interviews with people from the company are not consider independent sources, and about.com is usually not considered a reliable source. You need more news stories or other coverage in published, independent, reliable sources to establish notability. Please read our guideline on notability of corporations. And reember that not all buisness are notable.

I hope this is helpful DES ^(talk) 18:57, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Megarvt/Helen_Woodward_Animal_Center

Just created this article User:Megarvt/Helen_Woodward_Animal_Center would love feedback. Hopefully would like to move to a live article in 4 days (after 10 edits?) Thank you Megarvt (talk) 02:16, 13 March 2010 (UTC)megarvt 3/12/10[reply]

Not a bad start, but more coverage is needed in independent, reliable sources, particularly non-local sources, to more clearly establish notability. Please read our guideline on notability of organizations. A statement like "Participants have attended from 33 states and 17 locations outside the United States including Argentina, Canada, China, Egypt, Ethiopia, India, Ireland, Iran, Japan, Kenya, Mexico and Romania." should ideally be backed up with a cited source. An additional source or sources for the national scope of the program would be very useful, note that without the national scope this center would probably not be notable in any case, as purely local organizations usually are not. DES ^(talk) 19:11, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Muslim Athletes

A list of Muslim Athletes in various sports. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Environmental Lawyer (talk • contribs) 01:14, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Athletes are usually categorized according to their nationality or the area of expertise. I'm not sure if there should be list based purely on religious adherence. -Reconsider! 04:20, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Riffic/Lift to Experience and User:Riffic/The Texas-Jerusalem Crossroads

I came across these two articles that were deleted in 2008 for CSD A7 and I was sort of familiar with the subjects so I knew the notability was easy to assert with some decent references. I added two which were more easy to find with google, but I'm sure more can be added. Does anyone else think they can be moved back into main namespace so other users can find and edit these with more ease? thank you! riffic (talk) 02:34, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

An Organic Conversation

Article creator 3/14/10 71.204.141.254 (talk) 08:38, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's generally well-done, but I agree with the tag re tone, it reads like a PR brochure. Some phrases that jumped out:

* engaging and intimate thought on food production, relationships, and life itself

* visionaries

* reconnecting to the land

* one of the most progressive voices of sustainable agriculture

* over 27 years of hands-on experience

* acclaimed Language of flavor seminars

* new, fun, fresh relationship with their produce--SPhilbrick T 15:06, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

virtual tuning

Hi there

This is the first article I've written, so happy to hear any positive or negative feedback you might have, and whether or not I need to get more citations etc...

I've already had about 100 virtual tuning artists review the page, and add content and modify bits and pieces, and a discussion was had on the biggest virtual tuning forum about who should be on the top 10 list (that's cited in the article). Without any further ado, the page in question is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_tuning

Basically, this is a whole element of car modification which haven't yet been covered on Wikipedia (well, not the English speaking one at least... - the Czech Wikipedia even has a page for it http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_tuning). —Preceding unsigned comment added by Automotive Designz (talk • contribs) 10:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have some familiarity with this due to my interest in one model of car popular with young people, so I do understand that this is an important topic for many people. That being said, what you really need for this article are some verifiable references from reliable sources, which is to say you need to find some discussion of this subject in newspapers or magazines (rather than forums, blogs or fan sites). Nuujinn (talk) 22:57, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

David Taborn - new article

Hello, I'd appreciate feedback with my first article, about artist David Taborn. It's at User:AnnaHillier/sandbox. Thank you AnnaHillier (talk) 14:29, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's a fair start, but the main issues are notability and references. A quick Google search has convinced me he probably does satisfy WP:N, but you need to assert exactly how he is notable more clearly in the article, with citations from reliable third-party sources (your three references are currently a commercial gallery's blurb about the artist, a link to one picture in a national collection, and an obituary of another individual that makes two passing references to Taborn). Have a look at the criteria at WP:ARTIST, which will help. More prose about Taborn himself and his significant work will make this read like an encyclopaedia article, while at the moment it is a few biographical lines padded out with a list of everywhere he's ever exhibited. Ka renjc 15:58, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much AnnaHillier (talk) 16:29, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Borko Temelkovski

Dear editor,

I would appreciate a review of the page Borko Temelkovski I have recently added to the Wikipedia. He is well known figure in Macedonian post war political arena. He well deserves to be there. Mtemelk (talk) 04:08, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As worthy as he may be, what the article lacks are verifiable sources to establish notability. One of the sources cites appears to be an encyclopedia, and I'm afraid that does not qualify. The other does not seem to be from a verifiable source. What would be helpful would be references from newspaper articles, either paper or online. See if you can find something on Google, or if you have access to Macedonian newspapers, references from those would do, I'm sure. Nuujinn (talk) 01:18, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot. I'll try to dig out some more... Mtemelk (talk) 05:52, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Canon Roger Hooker Memorial TrustBill0zann3 (talk) 11:23, 15 March 2010 (UTC)bill ozanne March 15th 2010

User:Bill0zann3/Canon Roger Hooker Memorial Trust

I fixed the link to the draft
You shouldn't start a sentence with a space - that's why so many of your sentences were in boxes. I've fixed them.
I also did some cleanup, but more is needed.
You should not use the section heading as if it were the start of a paragraph, that style is used some places, but not in Wikipedia.
References are often a challenge for new editors; please read WP:CITE and footnotes for some help.
Most importantly, you need to establish Notability, by showing that this trust is discussed in multiple reliable sources.--SPhilbrick T 13:33, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

HDtracks

HDtracks Annm7 (talk) 21:43, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

MadeinLocal

User:Ifranchino/MadeinLocal

Hello, I'm a new member and this is my first article for Wikipedia. I was hoping for a review as I might be too closely linked to the subject of the article and would like it to be as neutral as possible.

I would appreciate any comments or advice,

Thank you!

Ifranchino (talk) 14:02, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's a very clearly written and well organised article. However, it contains almost no citations from reliable third-party sources at the moment, and thus if moved to articlespace it would probably be proposed for speedy deletion pretty quickly on the grounds that it does not credibly assert MadeinLocal's notability. All the inline citations are from the official website or an associated website, and these are not independent sources. What's needed is some coverage in reliable independent published sources, online or otherwise. Wikipedia's policy on verifiability will help explain what's needed. For example, to corroborate the awards (which will help towards establishing notability) you could try finding and citing coverage of them on the awarding bodies' own websites, rather than on MadeinLocal's site, which doesn't count as a reliable source. The 24H link is your only real external source at present, so it might be worth using it in inline citations rather than as a simple external link, and looking for others like it. (I know it's in a foreign language, which is less than ideal, and if possible you should be looking for some English-language coverage of the website too.) The "Aramis" link doesn't work. Generally the article complies quite well with Wikipedia's policy on neutrality, but statements such as "... the website hopes to generate revenue through the sale of showcases ..." and the info on forthcoming developments and apps steer close to promotional language. I would support all such statements with citations, and peversely, in this case the official website is the best place to cite!

Thank you for declaring your personal interest in the subject. You're probably aware that Wikipedia's conflict of interest guidelines strongly discourage people from creating articles about subjects with which they have a close personal link, and your request for help to produce a neutral article is very much in the spirit of this encyclopaedia. If you can find sufficient good-quality coverage, the article should pass muster. If no such coverage exists yet, it may be a little early for an article on this subject. Ka renjc 22:00, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness

hello

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness is my first wiki article.

i've rewritten it in my user space as per suggestion of one of your editors (ukexpat) who moved much longer initial version of it out of Afd back to my userspace.

ukexpat suggested the following:

Comment: In that case, I think the best thing to do would be to move it back into your user space ("userfy" it) so that you can work on it further. You should also take a look at the tone, construction and flow of articles on similar topics to see how that are written and structure this article similarly. If you are OK with this approach I will happily move it back to user space for you and withdraw this Afd. – ukexpat (talk) 14:06, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I looked at several articles on related topics, and then settled on one which most closely paralleled what i am trying to achieve re giving useful information in my article.

the model article i used is the wiki article on Multiple Intelligences

my article is now virtually the same length as the M Int article, and this despite the M Int article covering ~25 years of soc sci research while mine re Greatness covers over 100 years. I collapsed my summaries of major books into a few short paragraphs each. (eg Cox's book is over 800 pages, Eysenck's is 350 and virtually inaccessible to the lay reader).

I also referenced everything. (except the one specific lulu ref – Dorris (2009) – which I need to get an ok to use as lulu in general is black listed…)

Can you tell me if the current version is ok to resubmit for consideration as wiki article? if not, any suggestions very much appreciated.

AgRince (talk) 14:36, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Joey Kramer Hit Hard

The name of this page is Joey Kramer Hit Hard. User:PaidSaad/Joey Kramer Hit Hard

This page is about the new iPhone application called Hit Hard, from Aerosmith's drummer Joey Kramer. Much like a portable version of rock band or guitar hero, and the application gives away drum related prizes each month to those with high scores.

PaidSaad (talk) 17:20, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The subject is almost certainly notable, but your draft article is pretty much entirely composed of text that has been cut and pasted from other sites, which is not permitted here. The game description comprises most of the article and this is all a straight cut-and-paste quotation - it and the rest of the article need rewriting in your own words in order not to infringe copyright. Other bits of the article come from other websites, which is why the whole article reads like a promotional piece as it stands (pasting in marketing-speak like "gritty, soul-searching book" makes the origin of the prose very obvious, and violates Wikipedia's neutrality guidelines into the bargain). Mr Kramer should be referred to as "Kramer" rather than "Joey" unless it's within a direct quotation - see the Manual of Style. I did a quick Google search and came up with references to the app and reviews of it on several independent sites, so it should be possible to provide some better references. Blogs and forums are not regarded as reliable sources. See Wikipedia:Citing sources for guidance on formatting references. Ka renjc 22:24, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric

This is an article about Steiner Electric Company. There is not a page for them yet and I wanted them to be on Wikipedia since they are a well-known large company. This is my first time making a page on Wikipedia and wanted feedback. I also wanted to know how to make those boxes usually seen on the right hand side of company like pages on Wikipedia. Thanks! 3/16/2010 Lizzard388 (talk) 21:56, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not a horrid start, but needs significant work. I will try to comment here in more detail later. As for the box, look at {{infobox company}}. I hope this helps. DES ^(talk) 00:03, 17 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I tried to work on it more and I added a lot more references and made some links throughout and got my infobox created. If you get a chance to look at it again it would be much appreciated! Thanks. Lizzard388 (talk) 20:56, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Anna Margaret from Starstruck

Hi, I'd like some help on writing an article about Anna Margaret from the Disney original movie Starstruck. I need more info and sources so if you can please check out my userspace draft and if there's anything you think I should add, let me know.

Here is the link: User:JRsingersongwriter/Anna Margaret

JRsingersongwriter —Preceding unsigned comment added by JRsingersongwriter (talk • contribs) 02:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Simon Johnson

I would like to request feedback on this article User:Olgpa/Simon_Johnson_(security_consultant) . I've added a couple of references there that I think are reliable enough, and the person is rather notable in his area of expertise. Please let me know if you think that the article is ready to be put online. Thank you. Olgpa (talk) 08:42, 17 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Forgotten International

Hello,

When I moved this incomplete article it was deleted immediately for violating the notability criteria. I added 3 references now but haven't figured out how have it technically correct yet, neither did I figure out how to categorize correctly (sorry, i'm just learning -1st time). I might be adding 3 more sentences to the body of the article, but otherwise it is mostly done. Please let me know whether I you can review it now and let me know what changes to apply or whether I should ask for feedback when I'm completely ready.

Thanks a lot in advance.

Regards,

Kristina Pomothyova 03-18-10 —Preceding unsigned comment added by Theforgottenintl (talk • contribs) 07:22, 18 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think those references amount to the significant coverage in reliable sources required to demonstrate notability. Please take a look at WP:ORG and WP:RS for the type of references that are required. – ukexpat (talk) 14:03, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Amenity Infrastructure

Hi WikiHelpers, I tried to follow the instructions as precisely as possible, but I seem to have a box surrounding my article first sentence under Amenity Infrastructure. Also, my reference to Catherine Spellman's book (see bottom of article), did not properly link. Could someone take a look and let me know what I did wrong? Thanks so much. Renata Hejduk —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rhejduk (talk • contribs) 21:43, 18 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You simply added a space before the text, so it shows up as code, like this:

See?

Hope that answers your question.

—Akrabbim^talk 21:55, 18 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I changed the title of this question to link to the article.

I fixed the misplaced space and your reference rendering problem, and removed all the trademark signs (Wikipedia doesn't use them: see WP:TRADEMARK. I removed the "unreviewed article" tag and replaced with a "multiple issues" tag. This is because the article has urgent issues. It seems to be about a trademarked phrase under which its inventor is marketing his products. It's not yet a commonly used term in architecture, planning or design, and if he's hoping to keep the rights to it by trademarking it, it's unlikely to become one. I am considering proposing the article for deletion on the grounds of insufficient notability. However, the external links you have provided - which need formatting correctly - do suggest that the architect himself may be notable and "Amenity Infrastructure" has been mentioned by a small number of independent third-party sources in association with the inventor, so there is borderline notability there although I don't think Amenity Infrastructure can stand alone as an article at present. I would strongly suggest that you consider moving this content to userspace, requesting deletion of the Amenity Infrastructure page remaining after the move, and rewriting it all as an article about Darren Petrucci himself, with the "Amenity Infrastructure" content as part of the page, and with more references. Once you have a viable article on Mr Petrucci in articlespace, the Amenity Infrastructure page can be re-created as a redirect to his article until such time as it becomes notable in its own right, if it does. If you would like help to do this, feel free to ask me on my talk page. Otherwise, the article will probably be nominated for deletion shortly. Ka renjc 11:28, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wes Jones

[[5]] Just looking for a review / gen. feedback. Skparch (talk) 22:14, 18 March 2010 (UTC)skparch[reply]

The article has serious issues around tone and citations at present. It reads very much like a marketing blurb, with many unsupported statements and value judgements about Mr Jones, his various companies and his work (for example, "a leading architectural voice of his generation"; "the firm’s international reputation for technologically inspired work"). Almost none of the information is referenced, and this needs addressing or it may be removed without discussion by other editors. You do appear to have asserted the subject's notability (by listing his prizes and awards, and asserting that he has had a major influence on his field of work, etc.) but you now need to support this information with citations, otherwise it does not meet Wikipedia's criterion of verifiability. There are several quotations from Jones about his personal views and philosophy of architecture, possibly too many, and they need sourcing specifically or removing. There are quite a few passing references to other architects and writers, and these should be Wikilinked on the first use to these individuals' Wikipedia articles (if they have them) to assist users with navigation. The article could do with being in a couple more categories, but not Category:Architecture firms based in California because it's about the man, not the company. I'll tag the article accordingly. Ka renjc 10:30, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

James Curnock

User:Smallbird22/James Curnock

Could someone please review this article on this British Artist, thanks. It's my first article.

Smallbird22 (talk) 06:26, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sure. It's a decent start, but what you really need are some verifiable sources from newspapers, books or magazines. It could use some more text as well, perhaps fill out a section with biographical info and then a second section on his art? Nuujinn (talk) 23:42, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ken Rutkowski

User:Olgpa/Ken_Rutkowski
User:Olgpa/Simon_Johnson_(entrepreneur)

Would love to know your thoughts on the above articles. Thank you. Olgpa (talk) 10:42, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

FIXatdl

FIXatdl is a protocol used to communicate information relating to algorithmic trades. Version 1.1 of the protocol is being launched by securities industry standards body FIX Protocol Limited on March 23, 2010.

SCWilkinson (talk) 17:32, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

STREET SPIRIT

Article name STREET SPIRIT. [[6]]

I would like feedback on this article. I want it to go live as well, if all is in sufficiently notable.

Chalkboardstyle 08:42, 20 March 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Chalkboardstyle (talk • contribs)

It is a nice start, the main suggestion I have is that the article is too promotional in content and tone. Youtube isn't considered a reliable source, so you should probably lose those references. The list of external references should probably be trimmed to just his home page, listing five personal sites implies this is intended to promote him.

Also, the format of your references needs some clean up, see WP:Cite Web for a good simple template. I took the liberty of cleaning up the IMA references as an example. You don't need a manually formated reference section, the REFLIST will take care of that for you. Let me know if you have any questions. Nuujinn (talk) 11:28, 20 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Actually that's WP:CITE. – ukexpat (talk) 18:57, 20 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback on South Jordan, Utah

This is my first big rewrite of an article. The article had a cleanup tag on for 2 1/2 years. I'd like some suggestions and criticisms... My writing is like the driving of a very drunk person, so any help would be welcome.03:41, 21 March 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bgwhite (talk • contribs)

When you leave messages, please remember to "sign" your name, by putting ~~~~ (four tilde signs) at the end. This will add your name, and the date and time. You can also do this by clicking the 'sign' button, pictured here.

I am unable to access the website given as ref 22, http://www.countyfair.slco.org/
In "Transportation", the wikilink to frontrunner seems to point to an incorrect location
Units of measure should use non-breaking spaces; some do, some do not. For example, in "Geography" it has 4,300 feet (1,310 m) - the best solution is to use conversion templates; in this case, you could use {{convert|4300|ft|m}} - producing the code 4,300 feet (1,300 m), displaying as 4,300 feet (1,300 m). Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers)
In "Bus crash", 100 feet lacks a conversion
All references that include a URL, such as Casualty Toll in Bus Tragedy Mounts to 24, require an access date.
The list, Famous people, should be in alphabetic order.
Reference 3, U.S. Census Bureau - 2008 population estimate, does not have a 'citation' template, and therefore looks different in style to other references
3.5 miles (5.6 km) section of the Jordan River Parkway... - sentences should not begin with numerals. In this case, it could perhaps be A 3.5 mile (5.6 km) section of the Jordan River Parkway... (This is an example; there are others in the article, e.g. "67-acre (27 ha) Oquirrh Lake sits inside")
The Branch consisted of just 9 families. - numbers under 10 should be written out in words - "nine families".(Example only; others include "2 high schools")
Ensure that dates are formatted consistently; currently, for example, in "Twentieth century" it says incorporate on 8 November 1935, but in "Bus crash" it says occurred on Thursday, December 1, 1938, at approximately...
moving his family along the Jordan River, at about 9000 South - I do not know what '9000 South' is (and later, 12500 South) - presumably it is some kind of mapping region - could this be clarified?
You might consider adding page references to the book sources - it would certainly help with ref 13, for example. There are a few ways to do it - I quite like harvard-style references; for an example, see the notes and references sections in Marco Polo. If you need help with it, give me a shout.

I've made a few copyedits; nothing much, and please take it as suggestions - check them over. I suggest that you get a peer review, with a view to moving it to good article status. Cheers! Chzz ► 16:16, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Musical ear

User:Kostelf/Musical ear

Hello. I've created my first wiki article. Not sure if it should be a separate article or under Ear Training, but I felt there was a need for a page to present information about musical talent. Probably it's a stub. Thanks for the feedback.

Kostelf (talk) 13:30, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The phrase 'musical ear' sounds a little strange - like an 'ear that plays music'; I think that 'an ear for music' is the more common expression?

At the moment, the article is very short, and might be considered just a dictionary definition - which is not acceptable. I think that you need to be very careful of original research, particularly synthesis, with this topic.

Avoid contractions - instead of "There's" you should put "There is".

I am not sure that the external link is appropriate; they should be "further research that is accurate and on-topic, information that could not be added to the article for reasons such as copyright or amount of detail" (WP:EL) - blog sites rarely meet these requirements.

The biggest problem that you face with a topic like this (ie something rather ephemeral) is sticking to hard facts referenced to reliable sources, rather than introducing opinion; it might be possible to make such an article, but it is always a challenge.

I hope that this feedback is constructive, and gives you ideas - please do not be downhearted by the criticism; I sincerely hope that you will add more to Wikipedia. Best, Chzz ► 11:45, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Random Soul Theory

Hi there,

Why did you not like my definition of the Random Soul Theory?

In my opinion a new theory should be taken seriously and be analyzed with an open mind.

After studying and researched this topic in many different cultures I have reached the conclusion that a theory can be interpreted in many different ways.

Please give me feedback of why you don't like my theory.

Thanks in advance.

Regards, Espen —Preceding unsigned comment added by Espen Marthinsen (talk • contribs) 14:55, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

According to the deletion log it was deleted because there was not enough context to identify article's subject and because it appeared to be a test page. – ukexpat (talk) 15:40, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Also, do bear in mind that Wikipedia does not publish original research, and that includes new theories. It may well be a good idea to take new theories seriously and analyze them with an open mind, but Wikipedia is not the right forum for this process, because it only accepts articles on subjects that have already had sufficient meaningful coverage elsewhere to render them notable. Ka renjc 15:04, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Iman Shumpert

Iman Shumpert: Basketball player for Georgia Tech, currently playing in 2010 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Guru120/Iman_Shumpert --Guru120 (talk) 16:46, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please use inline references.

Click "show" to learn how to properly cite sources using footnotes.

A "source", also called a "reference", should generally be "cited" using footnotes. Wikipedia uses a special feature to automatically generate footnotes with the help of two "tags", <ref> and </ref>. Anything placed between the two tags will generate a footnote, which appears in the text as ^[1]. This method of using "inline citations" is useful because it allows the reader to easily see which source supports which statement. To cite a source using this method, you need two parts:

The two tags:

<ref> </ref>

A "References" section at the end of the article with the code {{reflist}}, which is able to generate a list of footnotes based on what is placed between the two tags:

==References==
{{reflist}}

An example:

Wikipedia was created by Jimbo Wales.<ref>Jones, Michael (2008). The History of Wikipedia. Publishing Company, Inc.</ref>

== References ==
{{reflist}}

which results in:

Wikipedia was created by Jimbo Wales.^[1]

== References ==

^ Jones, Michael (2008). The History of Wikipedia. Publishing Company, Inc.

Also, please be careful about using non-neutral language. For example, He is recognized as a versatile guard who has the skills to play both the point and the wing and is excellent defender - whilst these 'facts' may be supported by the reference, it is important to write in a neutral, encyclopaedic manner. I am not sure if the 'georgia tech' site would qualify as a reliable source - assuming for a moment that it was, then perhaps it could be phrased as e.g. Georgia tech declare him a "versatile guard who has the skills to play both the point and the wing [...an] Excellent defender"<ref>[http://ramblinwreck.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/shumpert_iman00.html Official website of Georgia Tech Athletics]</ref>

Chzz ► 12:36, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alex Henshall

Hi,

I have just finished creating my first wikipedia article, is an article for a football (soccer) player currently playing for Swindon Town called Alex Henshall. As this is my first page that I have created I am eager to get some feedback on it and see what I can improve on in any future entries that I create.

Thank you and I await your helpful feedback.

wikilink - Alex Henshall

Skullage (talk) 22:12, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

An excellent first article; well done. Some suggestions;

Don't link England - it is a form of overlinking.
You could make the references clearer. For example, at the moment you have;

<ref>http://www.swindontownfc.co.uk/page/ProfilesDetail/0,,10341~49604,00.html</ref>

...which looks like this in the references section;

^ http://www.swindontownfc.co.uk/page/ProfilesDetail/0,,10341~49604,00.html

...if, instead, you were to put this;

<ref>[http://www.swindontownfc.co.uk/page/ProfilesDetail/0,,10341~49604,00.html Swindon Town F.C. Official website]</ref>

...then it would look like this;

^ Swindon Town F.C. Official website

You could expand the first section (known as the lede - this should be a summary of the whole article.
I suggest removing the level-2 heading == Career ==, and changing the level-3 headings "Early days", "Swindon Town" and "England Under-16" to level 2; it seems unnecessary to have the additional level for an article of this size.
As with almost all articles, the referencing could be improved. It helps greatly if you can add information from good, independent reliable sources, such as newspaper articles. A good place to start looking is by searching Google News archives like this

I hope that helps. Chzz ► 13:26, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Silver Star Families of America

Request assistance and opinions on The Silver Star Service Banner.

[[7]]

I have a conflict of interest and I want the article to be unbiased and factual

Plus I am new

Smile

Thank you all and God bless

Steven1969 (talk) 00:59, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

An interesting topic. One question would be whether or not this should be incorporated into Service Flag, which as it stands now is pretty short. That would be the best way to go, I think, since it mitigates some potential problems. The prose in your article does need some work, and it could use some additional verifiable and reliable sources. It needs a lead, but that's easy to start by breaking apart the first two sections with a section heading. Let me know if you want any help, Nuujinn (talk) 10:53, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Institute of Photogrammetry and GeoInformation (IPI), Hannover, Germany

Institute of Photogrammetry and GeoInformation (IPI), Hannover, Germany 67.186.0.165 (talk) 06:52, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scottish Slimmers

Scottish Slimmers Yvette Rayner 22 Mar 10 Yvetterayner (talk) 12:18, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At least one part of this article was copied directly from a copyrighted source; I removed that with this edit. Please be very careful not to introduce copyrighted material to Wikipedia. Chzz ► 13:42, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Much of the article does not conform to a neutral point of view - it is written like an advertisement. For example, Scottish Slimmers provides sensible and healthy weight loss for those who choose to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle - whilst the company may well claim to do this, it is not an independently verifiable fact. Language such as Positive Eating allows members to get slim and stay slim without feeling isolated or deprived. does not belong in a Wikipedia article.
It’s usual for members to experience a faster rate of weight loss in the first two weeks - any strong assertions like this must have an independent reliable source, otherwise they must be removed. Chzz ► 13:46, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not surprising as Yvette Rayner appears to be responsible for marketing at Scottish Slimmers. – ukexpat (talk) 17:13, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Praecipio Consulting

User:Briannunnery/Praecipio Consulting

I would appreciate feedback on this article.

Best, Brian Nunnery · EMAIL ADDRESS REMOVED Chzz ► 16:57, 22 March 2010 (UTC) · —Preceding unsigned comment added by Briannunnery (talk • contribs) 16:00, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

No reliable sources to show company meets WP:ORG. --NeilN ^{talk to me} 17:01, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)

User talk:Aerialfirefan/National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)

Aerialfirefan (talk) 05:37, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi this is my first article. Can you please give me some feedback. Thanks!!! Aerialfirefan (talk) 07:31, 7 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sarus (Goth)

To Whom It May Concern

This is my first article. There were several links to a disambiguation page but no article as such, so I made it as I have a good knowledge of the subject. However I have several problems, most of which I've already posted on Talk:Sarus (Goth) but to summarise:

I need help with wording, I think some of mine is quite awkward, maybe a bit POV or purple-prosey (esp. conclusion);
I don't currently have access to (my) secondary sources apart from what's on the net. I don't think this is a huge problem because mentions of the subject are so scattered anyway but help would be appreciated;
Tribal and clan aspects of the subject - I feel unqualified for this aspect because of prejudice and ignorance;
The primary sources are pretty messed up, though I doubt there's anything much anyone can do to help on this one :-) but more viewpoints on interpretation are welcome;
Other specific problems probably best left for discussion page once more knowledgeable people than I come in.

Thank you in advance for your time and effort.

Jmullaly (talk) 09:19, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Congratulations on an excellent start. Yes, the tone can be tweaked and there may be some more sources, including those checkable online, which would improve it further, but it's a perfectly respectable short article now and far, far better than the vast majority of first articles, with hatnote, categories and links to other articles all present and correct in addition to the content itself. I would suggest you tag the article's talk page with appropriate Wikiproject tags - would those on Talk:Sigeric and Talk:Ataulf also apply to Sarus? - and this will attract the attention of Wikipedians with an interest in the subject, who may be able to address the content and sourcing issues you've raised. An image would be nice too, if possible. Thank you for making this interesting article, and happy editing. Ka renjc 17:06, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I agree that it's a good start. A couple of additional points: you should work the material in the Conclusions section into the rest of the article. Encyclopedia articles do not have conclusions, and such sections are usually the hallmark of a term paper or an essay. You should also break down the article into more sections. Shorter sections are much more easy on the eye than one long paragraph. I have also fixed the heading levels - main sections are heading level 2, and I removed the stub templates - this is far from a stub. – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you both. Karen, the problem with the sources is they're horrible, scattered, confusing, incestuous and hard to interpret - not that they're few. I've actually included all but one that exist. The secondary literature suffers from many of the same problems. I've added some categories to attract specialists - thanks, I was using the stubs for that. I don't know if I can find an image of Sarus, maybe a generic Goth will do - a big, hairy one with a huge sword and a wolfskin cloak. Sarus was not a temperate or reassuring man. Ukexpat I will take your advice, thanks.

Another thing occurs to me - as is, the article is very disjointed, partly due to the sources. The man pops up here and there for a brief period, in some small and large events, then disappears. By following the links a user can get the backstory, but should I include more of it in the article to make it smoother and more comprehensible? --Jmullaly (talk) 23:04, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Anything you can do to improve the flow and readability, I guess in marketingspeak you would call it "the reader experience", would be good. – ukexpat (talk) 20:52, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

NPPL (UK National Private Pilots License)

A new page for the National Private Pilots License (NPPL) User:Mobilesense/National_Private_Pilot_Licence

It's my first new page on Wikipedia, so be gentle ;)

It is intended that this be linked from the existing and extremely comprehensive page on Pilot_licensing_in_the_United_Kingdom as being the first level of UK license.

As a new student to flying in the UK, I found the information about NPPL confusing, inconsistent and difficult to uncover. I have assembled the key facts into a single page and shown supporting references where possible/relevant.

While the NPPL covers two categories (aeroplanes and self-launching gliders/powered handgliders), I've concentrated on the aeroplane aspects as a start.

Mobilesense (talk) 09:57, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scottish Slimmers

I see that my page was deleted however I do not understand why as I complied with advice given by removing promotional phrases and including more reliable citations. I do have a conflict of interest but I believe I have complied with the guidance but would appreciate more information if possible. Thank you.

Yvette Rayner 23 March

Yvetterayner (talk) 10:44, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It was deleted because it was still an advertisement masquerading as an article. You can ask the admin who deleted it (User:Anthony Appleyard) if he would undelete it to your userspace so you can work on it there at your own pace; or you can request that someone else create the article by heading over to Articles for Creation and following the instructions there. – ukexpat (talk) 13:47, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I cannot see how to contact the admin who deleted it. Am I OK to try again? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Yvetterayner (talk • contribs) 11:34, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I replied on your talk page. – ukexpat (talk) 14:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Andersenman/Connichi

Hello,

I have created an article in my userspace about one of the few big, if not biggest, anime convention of Germany, User:Andersenman/Connichi. I am writing as an insider so I am somewhat struggling to find actually published references to, or by, "reliable sources" (although I am not revealing any "secret" interna) to make it entirely verifiable. This is my first article. I am looking forward to reading your responses. Thanks. Andersenman (talk) 13:22, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

ajuda

sera que um sheik poderia ajudar para meu trabalho,dar uma cotribuição <email address removed> —Preceding unsigned comment added by 201.62.129.235 (talk) 13:58, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You're asking for someone to give you feedback, but the only edits from your IP address have been to this page, so we can't see which article you want us to comment on. I have removed your email address to protect your privacy; queries on this page are answered here, not by email. Ka renjc 17:17, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looking for feedback

Hey, looking for a review/feedback for the followig article: The Marionettes Chorale

Cheers, Larasister (talk) 16:33, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, this is very well-referenced! I think the legibility of the article would be improved by cutting down on the lists somewhat - for example, the article has

the Chorale also completed non-competitive tours in the Caribbean (Curaçao, Grenada, St Vincent, Barbados, Jamaica), and in North America and Central America (New York, Toronto, Montreal, Miami, Philadelphia[7] Washington DC, and Costa Rica).

While the level of detail is commendable, encyclopedias have a degree of superficiality in them and every stop on a tour, in my view, doesn't add much as much information for the curious reader as it hurts the flow and thus the legibility of the sentence. I would suggest something more like this:

the Chorale also completed non-competitive tours in throughout Caribbean, in many major North American cities, and in Costa Rica.

This is purely a stylistic suggestion, however, and others might disagree. --YixilTesiphon ^Talk_Contribs 19:34, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I would tend to agree with you. Also, the list of awards should he pared down to the major prizes, ie wins, otherwise it is in danger of becoming too promotional. Also the list of external links is way too long. Any that are already used as references should be removed and the rest reviewed in light of the external links guideline. – ukexpat (talk) 20:32, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I also created a redirect at Marionettes Chorale. – ukexpat (talk) 20:36, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Virgin Media Pioneers

I'd really appreciate you having a look at User:P4parrot/VirginMediaPioneers. This is the first time I've written a wiki articleso any feedback's appreciated.

Virgin Media Pioneers is a new video-blogging n=community for young entrepreneurs.

Thanks,

P4parrot (talk) 16:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed the link in your request so it would work properly.

The problem with the article at present is that it contains no independent third-party references; every citation links to the official website or to other sites affiliated with it. This means that if the article goes live now, it will probably be nominated for deletion on the grounds that it fails Wikipedia's notability and/or verifiability tests. Since the subject of the article only launched a couple of weeks ago, this is hardly surprising. You need to find credible independent coverage of VirginMediaPioneers, and cite it in the article, before it will be ready for articlespace. Ka renjc 19:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much will definitely update that P4parrot (talk) 11:27, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Robert Kozma

This is a request for feedback for the page created on Robert Kozma. He is a highly experienced professor at the University of Memphis and Director of several projects that are of interest to the scientific world. I am a third party creating this page and therefore have kept an unbias tone. Thank you for your help. Helios Kirk (talk) 13:49, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, you need to establish WP:N since this is a biography of a living person. To do that you need to get some reference from reliable and verifiable sources. Easiest way to do that would be to google in the news section for newspaper and magazine articles. I think the tone is still a bit too promotional, and the lists should probably be reworked into narrative paragraphs. Good start tho, but don't waste time getting references--this is in main space and BLPs get pretty severe scrutiny. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Regarding the entry on Chen Chimutengwende

Dear friends,

I see that you do not have enough information on Chen Chimtengwende. I hereby paste for your use.

Extended content

Name: Chen Chimutengwende

Date of Birth: 28 August, 1943

     Marital Status:	Married

<contact details redacted> Chenhamo Chakezha Chen Chimutengwende is normally and conveniently known as just “Chen Chimutengwende”. Chen is an activist and a writer who supports revolutionary Pan-Afrikanism and global revolutionary ecosocialism. He did his military and ideological training by experts from the Chinese People’s Liberation Army in 1964/5 in the Ghanaian Army in Ghana during Dr Kwame Nkrumah’s time. Chen was awarded “The Medal of the Order of the City of Havana” in 1995 by the State Council of Cuba as a result of his consistent and continuous support for the Cuban revolution. He has made immense contributions to the media all over the world as a journalist since 1968. He is published extensively and internationally.

Current Posts and Activities

1. Founder President and the Editor of the website of Afrika Global Network-AGN (www.afrikaglobalnetwork.com since August 2008. AGN is an international and independent network of revolutionary Pan-Afrikanist organizations, institutions, groups and individual activists working both separately and collectively, and both locally and internationally for “The Future of Afrika and the Black World”. It operates at the international level carrying out various projects, tasks, programmes and activities which include research, mass dissemination of information, networking, campaigning, mass mobilization, development and solidarity work.

2. Founder Chairman: Zimbabwe Foundation for Sustainable Development (ZFSD) since September 2009. This is a non-profit-making and independent organization whose mandate covers charitable, environmental, educational and mobilizational aspects of work. It carries out charitable work, research, information dissemination and campaigns in support of the eradication of poverty and for sustainable development.

3. He is currently writing a book under the auspices of AGN. The book is on “The Future of Afrika and the Black World”. It will be completed in 2011.

Previous Posts and Activities

4. Member of Parliament of Zimbabwe for 23 years up to 2008.

5. Government Minister for 14 years up to 2008 in Zimbabwe. He served as the Minister of the following Ministries: Information, Posts and Telecommunications; Environment and Tourism; and, Public and Interactive Affairs in the Office of the President and Cabinet.

6. Member of the Board of Directors of Worldtel Ltd from 2002 to 2008. It is a London based private company which was sponsored by the Worldtel Assembly of Governors in Geneva.

7. Elected in 2002 and served up to 2008 as Chairman: Worldtel Assembly of Governors (Geneva based). It is an organization which was initiated by the International Telecommunications Union (ITU). Worldtel Assembly of Governors is aimed at closing the global telecommunications gap between industrialized and developing countries by mobilising private sector funds for the purpose.

8. Elected as Vice Chairman in September 1999, in Tunis at a conference of 43 African Ministers and Heads of Delegation of the Assembly of Parties of RASCOM (Regional African Satellite Communications Organisation) for two years. The Minister of Communications of the host country, Tunisia, was elected Chairman. RASCOM was set up by the OAU for the purpose of establishing a dedicated satellite system for the African continent.

9. Appointed Chairman by the ITU on behalf of the developing countries in Geneva in October 1999 to chair the Telecom Development Summit (TDS) of the ITU. This was a global summit of Ministers and Chief Executive Officers of companies aimed at identifying new and possible opportunities in telecommunications improvement and expansion in developing countries.

10. Elected as Chairman of the United Nations High Level Environmental Committee of Ministers and Senior Officials in 1997 for two years. This was in New York at a UN conference with 104 Ministers of Environment and Heads of Delegation.

11. Elected as President of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change in 1996 for two years. This was in Geneva at a UN conference with 182 Ministers of Environment and Heads of Delegation.

12. Appointed in 1984 as Director of Personnel and Public Relations in the Agricultural and Rural Development Authority (ARDA) until 1985 when he became a Member of Parliament.

13. Appointed part-time lecturer for the M.A. Programme on “Social Development and Political Change” at the University of Zimbabwe, 1984 to 1985.

14. Appointed Senior Lecturer in Journalism and Mass Communications at the Zimbabwe Institute of Mass Communications (ZIMCO). This was initially under the: Ministry of Information, Posts and Telecommunications and later it became part of the Harare Polytechnic, 1982 to 1984.

15. Appointed in 1983 as member of the University of Zimbabwe Committee to advice on the setting up of the Postgraduate Programme for Media Studies in the University in 1983.

16. Appointed Correspondent for Eastern and Southern Africa of the International Social Science Journal of UNESCO, Paris, from 1980 to 2003.

17. Appointed Chief Correspondent of Inter-Press Service (which is Rome based) for Eastern and Southern Africa in 1980 until 1983. 18. Appointed Senior Lecturer in Journalism and Mass Communications in the School of Journalism of the University of Nairobi and later became the Head of the same School. This was from 1980 to 1982. He was also member of the University Senate.

19. Invited by the Chinese Government to visit China for four weeks in 1979 as one of the twelve members of the British Distinguished Persons Delegation. The idea was that on their return from the study tour of China, the members would improve on their writings and public lectures internationally on Chinese affairs. The members were writers and academics.

20. Appointed in 1979 and served until 1980 as UNESCO Consultant on Mass Communications, with special reference to broadcasting training needs covering nine countries of Eastern and Southern Africa. The position was based in Nairobi.

21. Appointed Deputy Director of the Journalism Programme and Senior Lecturer in Mass Communications and International Affairs, International Press Institute, City University, London, 1978 to 1979.

22. Appointed as Rapporteur in 1977 for the “Proceedings of the Working Group of International Experts on Black Civilisation and Mass Media of the FESTAC Colloquium whose report was published in the book:“Colloquium Proceedings , Volume 1, FESTAC, Colloquium on Black Civilisation and Education”, Federal Ministry of Education, Lagos, 1977” ). He served both as a Rapporteur and author of the report for this Working Group of International Experts.

23. Founder President of the Kwame Nkrumah Institute of Writers and Journalists, London, 1970 to 1977.

24. Appointed in 1970 as a member of the Editorial board of the Black Dwarf which later became the Red Mole edited by Tariq Ali. This was a Marxist fortnightly newspaper published in London. In 1972 Chen launched his own monthly newspaper in London which was called The Liberation Struggle. It covered news and theoretical issues about liberation struggles in Afrika, Asia and Latin America. He was the Editor of this newspaper until 1974 when he left for full-time post-graduate studies at the University of Bradford.

25. Appointed Executive Director: Europe-Third World Research Centre, London in 1969 and served until 1974. The Centre was established and funded by the World Student Christian Federation (WSCF) with the assistance of the World Council of Churches both based in Geneva. This was a research and information centre on the economic, political, social and ecclesiastical relationship between Europe and the Third World. The aim of the Centre was to expose and campaign against the iniquitous nature of the relations between the industrialized and the developing countries.

Education

Chen holds a social science Masters Degree from the University of Bradford in England where he specialized on “The Functions, Processes and Challenges of Mass Communications in Peaceful and Conflictual Situations in Politics and International Relations”. He re-wrote his M.A. dissertation and got it published as a book under the title: South Africa: The Press and the Politics of Liberation, Barbican Books, London, 1978. He was admitted as a Ph.D student in the same University in 1976. His thesis was on “Mass Media and the State in the Socio-Economic Development Process”. He did not finish his doctoral thesis because that was the time when he started moving from one appointment or assignment to another internationally, and these were so exciting, irresistible and critically important to his future role in society that he could not ignore them.

Profile prepared by Chen Chimutengwende, March 24, 2010 —Preceding unsigned comment added by 64.86.27.14 (talk) 14:52, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have collapsed your draft text as this is not the place to post draft articles or suggested revisions to articles. You appear to be Chen Chimtengwende so you should not be creating the article yourself. You may be notable as Wikipedia defines that term and we have a process in these circumstances for suggesting articles for creation: please go to WP:AFC and follow the instructions. Finally and most importantly, you should never post personal details such as address and phone number on Wikipedia - this is a highly visible site on the internet and doing so is just asking for trouble. I will contact Oversight and have the details permanently deleted and I have redacted them for now. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 15:54, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I see now that the article already exists at Chenhanho Chimutengwende (and a near dupe at Chen Chimutengwende that I will merge into and redirect to the first one), so please go to the article's talk page at Talk:Chenhanho Chimutengwende and suggest the changes that need to be made to the existing article. Please remember to provide references to reliable sources for your suggested changes. – ukexpat (talk) 17:00, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric Hi, I made a draft of my first article on Steiner Electric Company in my userspace and want to make it a live article in the mainspace but wanted some feedback first so that it doesn't get deleted. I added a bunch of references and found more hard copy magazines that they are mentioned in that are not online from a few years back that I can add as well. I needed help with editing and making it as good as I can before I submit it to the mainspace. I also needed help with copyright issues and trying to upload the logo that is trademarked. I see other companies have their logos but I do not understand how to upload the one I have. Any feeback would be much appreciated as I would like to make it a real article as soon as possible! Thanks so much! Lizzard388 (talk) 16:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I will look at the draft as soon as I can, but on the logo question: a non-free logo uploaded as described in WP:LOGO cannot be used in the draft while it is still in userspace - non-free images are not permitted in userspace. When the article is moved to mainspace the logo can be uploaded and used in the article, and I would be more than happy to help you with that. – ukexpat (talk) 16:55, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Looking forward to your reply after checking my draft! Lizzard388 (talk) 20:55, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Rebecca_Smith_(beauty_queen)

User:Seth60426/Enter your new article name here

Good afternoon, I'd like to post an article on Mrs. Maryland 2009. Please reveiw and send any suggestions. I also can't find how to change the name. I'll keep looking.

Thank you!!!Seth60426 (talk) 18:22, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Silver Star Families of America

Would like a little help and reviews on the Silver STar Families of America

I have had lots of help but the page still seems to have too many open spaces I cannot delete out.

Anyway, thank you all and God bless.

And thanks to all who have helped.

Steven1969 (talk) 21:55, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I took the liberty of removing some of the blank lines. If you like, I can do some copy editing of it. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:17, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

THANK you Nuujinn!

Steven1969 (talk) 00:42, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

And by all means edit away!

Steven1969 (talk) 00:46, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sandy Balls

I'm created a page: Sandy Balls I'm hoping it can be reviewed so the 'unreviewed' message is removed.

Tomsarge (talk) 23:19, 24 March 2010 (UTC) Tom Sargent 24 march 2010[reply]

You should probably move this into your user space quickly. It's very promotional and lacks verifiable references that establish WP:N, and I expect it will get tagged for deletion if left in the open. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:37, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

:The article is about an area of land called sandy balls - I've made some changes to make it less promotional about the holiday centre that is now on it. The site has notable and varied history, and thanks to the name has received significant interest on line - well over 1 million views of a you tube video on it. I want the opportunity to put over the history and reason for the name. Could you advise on the sort of thing I should add to the article? thank you very much.

Tomsarge (talk) 11:41, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

First thing to do would be to change the lead: "Sandy Balls is an estate, set in extensive woodlands in the New Forest, near Fordingbridge, Hampshire, UK., bounded on the western edge by the river Avon. Now run as a Holiday Centre. Sandy Balls is owned by the Westlake family." That does not sound much like you're talking about an area of land, it sounds much more like you are talking about a privately owned resort. In fact, I see no discussion of land per se, but rather consistent focus on various aspects of how the estate was developed into a resort. I feel compelled to add that it seems as though you might have a conflict of interest which may lead you astray from the goal of maintaining a neutral point of view. Also, the number of hits on youtube do not have much to do with establishing notability. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:08, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Kenosha Yacht Club

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenosha_Yacht_Club —Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwinmontano (talk • contribs) 23:50, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment the article has no references to demonstrate the club's notability per WP:CLUB. You must cite significant coverage in multiple reliable sources to evidence notability otherwise the article will probably be nominated for deletion. The tone is also a little promotional so you should look at how that can be toned down. – ukexpat (talk) 02:06, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Boustead Singapore Limited

Could someone help to review the writing of Boustead Singapore Limited and Edward Boustead as I hope it can be submitted to the main space. I'm not too sure if the style of writing is okay for Wikipedia. Thank you.

Athenak (talk) 01:22, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

NB: Both are already in mainspace, but unreviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 01:30, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

How come I am unable to search for them when I type in the words "Boustead"? Is it because it is unreviewed? Thanks. Athenak (talk) 03:35, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You mean in the Wikipedia search feature? Because it can take a while for Wikipedia's search engine to catch up. – ukexpat (talk) 03:40, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Someone has to review the article before the tag unreviewed can be cleaned up? How long will this take? Thanks!

Athenak (talk) 03:46, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Allison Yaeger

Hello,

I'm looking for feedback on my article for Seton Hall University Volleyball coach Allison Yaeger. This is a brief overview of her career coaching and playing.

Thanks

Dallas Strawsburg —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.193.143.224 (talk) 02:14, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please take a look at WP:ATHLETE - I don't know much about women's college volleyball, but from a quick review, it looks like the subject doesn't meet those guidelines. – ukexpat (talk) 03:38, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mogamma

I would like feedback on my article titled 'Mogamma'. Please check it out, any feedback will be helpful.

Thanks Maryam Negm (talk) 09:45, 25 March 2010 (UTC) 09:42, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

New page - Axeon

Please could you provide feedback on new page Axeon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Batterybuzz/Axeon

Thank you

Batterybuzz (talk) 11:18, 25 March 2010 (UTC)25 March 2010 BatteryBuzzBatterybuzz (talk) 11:18, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It seems very promotional in tone and wording. Statements like "Europe's leading designer and manufacturer of customised advanced lithium-ion battery packs for electric vehicles" need references to back them up. Also, if you google for that exact phrase, you'll find that it is apparently part of a statement press statement issued by the company, and that raises questions about possible copyright issues and conflicts of interest. --Nuujinn (talk) 11:19, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mahendra Sharma

I wrote a new article about User:Futurejohn678/Mahendra Sharma. It is currently under my personal page. Request you to please review the same and provide your feedback for moving to main article page.

Futurejohn678 (talk) 12:03, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dear Members, Please review and suggest me any changes. Futurejohn678 (talk) 06:54, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It does appear that the subject is notable, and you've obviously put quite a lot of effort into providing and formatting sources. However, the article in its current form gives serious concern in several areas, mainly to do with verifiability.

The article makes multiple assertions as a fact that Mr Sharma has made successful predictions, both about the financial markets and other events. This is an exceptional claim, and as such requires exceptional sources. But few of these general assertions are sourced, and nor are some of the specific assertions (for example, the statements about Rajiv Gandhi, Japan and the Indian Congress party). The most you can really say from the references given is that he claims to have made successful predictions. Unless you can provide links to dated instances where he makes the prediction before the event occurs, you can't state definitively that a successful prediction was made. And there is no reliable external source for the claims about his popularity and site user traffic.

It's good that you've tried to provide references that can be consulted online, but unfortunately all are flawed to an extent and most of your links are not acceptable on Wikipedia.

Ref #1 is a scan of a published article, uploaded to the Photobucket site. You can certainly cite the article, but scanning it and uploading the scan is a copyright violation so you can't link to it from Wikipedia. If possible, you need to link to an official version online, otherwise no link is possible.
Ref #2 does not support the statement it's supposed to be referencing. The article mentions Mr Sharma and quotes his statement about eclipes affecting the markets, but doesn't call him an early Internet financial astrologer.
Refs #3, 4, 5, 6 and 10 are all YouTube links to clips of TV news reports. These are copyright violations and cannot be linked from Wikipedia. See Wikipedia:External links#Restrictions on linking.
Ref #7 doesn't support the statement it's referencing.
Ref #8 is a Photobucket copyright violation
Ref #9 is accurate as far as it goes, but is on a pay-to-view site so can't be read in full
Ref #11 doesn't prove a successful prediction was made, because it was published in 2008 after the event, so is only evidence of a claim of success.
The external link to "Scanned print media articles" is another link to copyright violations.

The article needs to be cleaned up to address the above problems. The promotional tone - see WP:NPOV - will disappear if the unsupported assertions are referenced, rewritten neutrally or removed. Ka renjc 18:19, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness

Hello

I posted a request for feedback over a week ago (14:36, 16 March 2010 (UTC)). Since most of the requests posted after mine have been responded to, i can only assume that mine somehow got inadvertantly buried in the pile... so i am reposted my request here.. but leaving out the short bit of old comments which may have been mistaken for a response..

i would really appreciate some feedback...

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness is my first wiki article.

i've rewritten it in my user space as per suggestion of one of your editors (ukexpat) who moved much longer initial version of it out of Afd back to my userspace, suggesting that i "...take a look at the tone, construction and flow of articles on similar topics to see how they are written and structure this article similarly..."

I looked at several articles on related topics, and then settled on one which most closely paralleled what i am trying to achieve re giving useful information in my article.

the model article i used is the wiki article on Multiple Intelligences

my article is now virtually the same length as the M Int article, and this despite the M Int article covering ~25 years of soc sci research while mine re Greatness covers over 100 years. I collapsed my summaries of major books into a few short paragraphs each. (eg Cox's book is over 800 pages, Eysenck's is 350 and virtually inaccessible to the lay reader).

I also referenced everything. (except the one specific lulu ref – Dorris (2009) – which I need to get an ok to use as lulu in general is black listed…)

Can you tell me if the current version is ok to resubmit for consideration as wiki article? if not, any suggestions very much appreciated.

AgRince (talk) 16:09, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Kang Yatze

Hi everybody, I have posted my first article in en.wikipedia and I would like to ask for any kind of feed back, my wiki homebase is de.wikipedia. Here is an article about a mountain in thge indian himalayas Kang Yatze, thanks --SlartibErtfass der bertige (talk) 18:25, 25 March 2010 (UTC) In case you want to comment, please use my talk page. I know it is just a stub... Thanks a lot, --SlartibErtfass der bertige (talk) 18:31, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Useful if basic stub with image. I've added {{JammuKashmir-geo-stub}} to the page. Maybe tag the talk page to bring it to the notice of the good folks at WP:WikiProject Mountains and WP:WikiProject India? Ka renjc 13:33, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Billie Jean black sequin jacket

Hello, Please help by reviewing the following article, and provide feedback in order to improve the Billie Jean black sequin jacket page. User:DinhoGauch10/Billie Jean black sequin jacket DinhoGauch10 (talk) 19:29, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Note for reviewers: A previous version of the article was deleted per this Afd discussion: Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Billie Jean black sequin jacket. – ukexpat (talk) 20:46, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Jamie Moffett

Hello Everyone, This is my first article and I would appreciate some feedback. This article is about Philadelphia motion picture director Jamie Moffett.

Thank you for your help!!

User:Meghan T/Jamie Moffett

--Meghan T (talk) 21:14, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alex Honnold

I have just written my first article, entitled Alex Honnold, a free climber who soloed the two thousand foot face of the iconic Half Dome in Yosemite Valley. He climbed this sheer wall in under three hours, used no safety equipment, and scaled it in the manner that the general public climbs a ladder. In free climbing at this height, on mistake means death. I really just want to get Honnold attributed, given this athletic and mental accomplishment to be one of the greatest athletic accomplishment of all time. I am trying to navigate the technical instructions, so any help there is appreciated as well. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Kevin M. Roberts (talk • contribs) 02:34, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Correction: Article is in User:Kevin M. Roberts/Alex Honnold

Your article has no references. For inclusion, an article needs 'significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject', to show that it is a notable person. For help on how to add references, see WP:CITE. Chzz ► 12:10, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

globalvision

User:Mcjanus/GlobalVision_Communication: I created an article on the company providing the world's first VideoStreetView - that is StreetView in 360° immersive motion video. Please help me review it to ensure it is sufficiently documented and well written.

Mcjanus (talk) 09:54, 26 March 2010 (UTC) User:Mcjanus/ - 26.03.2010[reply]

The Activators

When I first submitted this page, there was concern about notability. However, I think the editor mistook Kidscreen, Cynopsis, and Global License as wire services that publish press releases automatically (i.e. Marketwire). However, these publications are major industry trades in children's entertainment (think Variety and Hollywood Reporter) and only publish legitimate stories.

I was hoping that The Activator's notability could be re-examined.

Thank you for your help.

User:Woodenships513/The_Activators

Woodenships513 (talk) 18:06, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Woodenships513 03/26/2010

Well, given that the wording used in Kidscreen, Cynopsis, and Global License references are very similar indeed, and are very short blurbs, I have to question whether the comparison to Variety and Hollywood Reporter is justified. At least as first glance, they seem to be just press releases with slightly different wording. --Nuujinn (talk) 22:36, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:kncipi/Institute for Private Investors

User:Kncipi/Institute for Private Investors

Hello,

I am writing to request feedback on a userspace draft that I have been working on and would like to create a new entry with. It is going to be on the Institute for Private Investors. If you could please offer feedback, that would be great.

Thanks,

Kncipi (talk) 18:34, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is very spammy and would probably be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. – ukexpat (talk) 02:31, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK, thanks for the feedback. Would you mind giving me some advice as to what improvements would make it appropriate, or what should be deleted? Kncipi (talk) 17:47, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It needs to be rewritten from a neutral point of view. Your user name suggests that you may be connected to the subject. If so, please read WP:COI - you are strongly advised not to create or edit articles where you have a COI. – ukexpat (talk) 17:52, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Got it, thanks - I am not connected to the subject but see how it would seem so.Kncipi (talk) 18:21, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies for jumping to conclusions! – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That's ok - I appreciate your feedback!! Kncipi (talk) 20:51, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

National Church Residences Senior Housing

New article. Need to get some feedback please. User:Ncr09/Seniorhousing (Ncr09 (talk) 13:51, 27 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

You left the same request at the Editor assistance requests page earlier this month and a reply was left for you there. Because you did not respond, the message thread was archived. You can find it at Wikipedia:Editor assistance/Requests/Archive 72#need help editing and posting article. As far as I can tell the same comments apply to the draft article now -- it does not demonstrate the notability of the subject per the guidelines at WP:ORG. – ukexpat (talk) 18:44, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

StartCom

New start for StartCom: User:Dtech/StartCom.

StartCom was deleted about 3 years ago because of too little notability and spam. The company has grown quite a bit since then and has gained an important unique role in ICT-security (read the page). Okay to add again? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Dtech (talk • contribs) 14:03, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry, but both references are blog entries and thus do not count as verifiable sources. Personally, I think that policy will need to undergo some revision in the near future, at least in terms of software, but for the time being, that's the rule. Can you find any sources in magazines? --Nuujinn (talk) 22:24, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Maybe, but I'm not willing to go through my old stack of C'T magazines. I'll use the StartCom and Microsoft press releases instead (altough I opted for the blogs because they are much more neutral) -- Dtech (talk) 09:24, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Press releases are not sufficient to demonstrate notability. Anyone can put out a press release which is then regurgitated by the business news wire services. You need non-trivial coverage in multiple independent sources. – ukexpat (talk) 17:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

AtomicGamer

User:Calimer/AtomicGamer I have included basic information about the webpage and company and what the main focus of the site is, IE posting video game related news, hosting video game files and video game related webpages. I also included a list of the webpages hosted. Please let me know if there is anything else I should add. Thank you so much for your time!! Take care. Calimer (talk) 22:02, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The major problem with the draft is notability - you need to cite non-trivial coverage from multiple, independent sources to demonstrate notability per the guidelines at WP:WEB. If the draft is moved to the mainspace in its current form it will almost certainly be speedily deleted. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 00:26, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Rachel's Organics

Rachel's Organics This article is about a Welsh dairy company who became the UK's first certified organic dairy. Thank you for your help in improving this article. --Rachel Aberystwyth (talk) 10:30, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please read Wikipedia:Conflict of interest
The article needs more independent sources. There are some write ups in the press it looks like from a Google News Search. See WP:SOURCES. A major concern is complete paragraphs and even a section without sources.
The article reads like a press release or company website.The tone needs to be more neutral. You can do this by including more info such as the reasoning behind dropping "Organics". More data on market presence or some other aspects related to the business and products (not award related) would help.
You do not need two spaces in between paragraphs
The Coolbrand link does not work.
There are not enough links in the article to others and more need to come in. See WP:LINKS
The references and external link need to be properly formatted. See WP:CITEHOW and WP:EL
Other touch-ups include adding categories and maybe an infobox.Cptnono (talk) 11:07, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Robert Ammons 2

Robert Ammons is an article about a living person. I have done quite a few edits, requested feedback, requested a move and the article has been on its current page for a week and has not yet been reviewed. Thank you so much for any kind of feedback you can give me! --Txrunner246 (talk) 13:43, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please be patient, we are all volunteer reviewers here. I will look at your article as soon as I can. – ukexpat (talk) 16:27, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK I have reviewed it and removed the tag. The tone of the article is rather promotional - it reads like a promo piece written for the firm's website. As he is a Texas plaintiffs' attorney, I am sure there has been some criticism of him in in reliable sources. If you can add some of that and cite it, it will help balance out the hagiography.--ukexpat (talk) 16:52, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You got it. Thanks for the review! --Txrunner246 (talk) 18:12, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Reel Injun

User:Just.mckinney/Reel Injun -March 29, 2010 —Preceding unsigned comment added by Just.mckinney (talk • contribs) 16:35, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

We need better signs of notability; one review in Macleans ain't gonna make it. --Orange Mike | Talk 16:44, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Cam Folker

User:FootsieWootsie/Cam Folker

64.122.28.15 (talk) 16:52, 29 March 2010 (UTC)Michelle 03/29/2010[reply]

Please make sure you are signed in when editing! I have taken a quick look at the draft and at the moment I see nothing that indicates how or why the subject is notable per the guidelines at WP:BIO. You will need to cite significant non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources in order to demonstrate notability - links to a Facebook fansite and a ticket sale outlet don't count I am afraid. – ukexpat (talk) 19:10, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I checked your contributions before reading your talk page. The version of the article that was in mainspace at Cam Folker has been speedily deleted for the reasons I set out above. – ukexpat (talk) 19:17, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Edelson McGuire LLC

Chicago based law firm [[8]]. Contains info about corporate culture, key personnel, significant cases, and awards and recognition. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Newwikiuser01 (talk • contribs) 19:22, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry to be blunt but the draft reads like an advertisement masquerading as an article and therefore a breach of our policy on using Wikipedia for advertising. If it is moved to the mainspace in this form it will be speedily deleted. Apart from that, the firm may be notable per these guidelines, but you would need more independent sources to demonstrate that - the firm's website and regurgitations of press releases on other sites are not sufficient. Any other issues - layout and formatting for example - can be fxed once the tone and notability issues are dealt with. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:06, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the feedback, I have made some changes and modeled it after existing Wikipedia articles about law firms, including their types of references, so there shouldn't be any more issues. Please take another look at it, I need help with formatting it to have the "contents" box. Thanks!--Newwikiuser01 (talk) 19:50, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have fixed the layout for you per WP:LAYOUT. It can probably be moved to mainspace now, but don't be surprised if it is tagged with article issues templates. – ukexpat (talk) 20:19, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Great, thank you so much for the formatting help. What do you mean "tagged with article issues templates."???--Newwikiuser01 (talk) 20:36, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Article issues templates generate the boxes that you will see on many articles, such as those on Association of Personal Injury Lawyers. – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Those issues (i.e. tone and sources) have been addressed through edits. Are there any other recommendations to avoid that? Thanks again for the help. --Newwikiuser01 (talk) 21:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not at the moment, reasonable minds can differ on these things. Do you need help moving the article? – ukexpat (talk) 21:21, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That would be great. Thanks! --Newwikiuser01 (talk) 22:04, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I moved it into mainspace. --Nuujinn (talk) 22:24, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

How can I make it come up higher in search results? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Newwikiuser01 (talk • contribs) 14:21, 1 April 2010 (UTC) — Newwikiuser01 (talk • contribs) has made few or no other edits outside this topic. [reply]

We don't know, nor do we care. Unless you have an undisclosed conflict of interest here, neither should you. SEO is non-encyclopedic; and any edits to articles which seem calculated to improve search results can be reverted as spamming. --Orange Mike | Talk 16:48, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Data Scientist

Data Scientist User:Hofftodd/Data Scientist

Todd Hoff Hofftodd (talk) 22:14, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

E3 Style

Hi there, I have had this page deleted for the following reasons. This page has been deleted. The deletion and move log for the page are provided below for reference.

03:20, 29 March 2010 NawlinWiki (talk | contribs) deleted "E3! Style" ‎ (A7: No explanation of the subject's significance (real person, animal, organization, or web content))

I created this page as it is as relevant as say dick smith, or Big W. After all you only need to see the recognition and references to see its relevance and acolades.

Can someone please tell me why this was deleted. I used article wizard to create it so have no idea what I've done wrong. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Tamarax163 (talk • contribs) 06:18, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It was deleted for the reasons stated in the notice on your talk page. Wikipedia has inclusion criteria based on notability, not "relevance" and for companies this is explained further by the guidelines at WP:CORP. In order to avoid speedy deletion, an article has, at the minimum, to make some claim as to importance or significance of its subject. Obviously the original did not do that otherwise it would not have been deleted. NawlinWiki is a very experienced admin and would not have deleted the article lightly. Now, to the current version: yes it claims notability and has some sources to support that, but at the moment it reads as promotional in tone (even if that was not your intention) and needs to be toned down to a more neutral point of view. NB - using the article wizard is no guarantee that an article will not be deleted, it's just a process to help in creation. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:15, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dr.Anadalakshmy Versus Government of India, CBSE

User:Lynchtribe/Dr.Anadalakshmy Versus Government of India, CBSE

This is an article regarding a controversial practice in leading educational institutions in India, which has since been outlawed by the Supreme Court of India, as well as the High Court of Madras, Chennai, India.

The legal clauses have been quoted from a transcript of the court hearing, I believe this is from a public information website and is hence not copyright. Another quote is taken from a news website, and I am unsure if this would be breaching copyright restrictions.

I believe that this article is important and encyclopedic in nature as it outlines an important controversy in Indian Education and the court case connected to this.

Any inputs on this page would be much appreciated. This is my first attempt at contributing to wikipedia, I have never found an article I was looking for unavailable here thusfar, and have hence never felt the necessity to create a page myself!

Thanks!! lynchtribe Lynchtribe (talk) 09:33, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Universal Syncopations

User:Hewins/Universal Syncopations

I created an album page for "Universal Syncopations." I based it on the article for Extrapolation by John McLaughlin.

This is the first article I have created. I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks, Dan

Dan Hewins (talk) 14:53, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Barbara L. Kellerman

Dear Wikipedia editors:

I would appreciate it if you could review the following page for Professor Barbara L. Kelleman.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_L._Kellerman

Professor Kellerman is a Professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and this page is about her career and work.

Any and all input is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Mike --128.103.18.145 (talk) 16:34, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please make sure you are signed in when you edit, I am guessing you are User:Mikeleveriza. I have tagged the article for speedy deletion as a copyright violation of http://www.hks.harvard.edu/fs/bkeller/bkellbio.htm and http://www.hks.harvard.edu/about/faculty-staff-directory/barbara-kellerman - both pages bear a copyright notice. Wikipedia cannot accept copyrighted materials. – ukexpat (talk) 17:24, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK the copyvio stuff has been cleaned up (but some of the remaining text does look a little too close to the above websites for my liking). The main problem is references to support notability. It is pretty clear that she is notable, now you need to cite significant non-trivial coverage in multiple independent sources. – ukexpat (talk) 18:05, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Joe Hoeffel

Hi,

I'm responsible (as in a paid employee of the candidate) for editing the wikipedia entry for Joe Hoeffel, a candidate for the Democratic nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania.

I think I'm doing well with NPOV and citing sources, but I'm not clear what would be too "promotional." Is it legit to post a list of the candidates' positions on a dozen major political issues? (I see other politician pages that do so). Is it legit to say he has positioned himself as the socially progressive or liberal candidate in the field if I can cite multiple major newspapers saying the same thing? Or is that out of bounds and I should stick to dryer facts like "is running for Governor."?

Thanks in advance for any feedback you more experienced editors can give!

JoeHoeffel (talk) 20:07, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I gave you some information regarding editing with a conflict of interest at your talk page. For the questions you are asking here, it is best to look at some of our other articles on politicians to get a feel of what is a neutral point of view and what is not. You may post a candidate's positions on the issues, but they should be well cited from reliable sources and they should be worded with neutral terminology. Barack Obama social policy is a well-cited article that explains the politician's political views without bias; this would be a good model to use when explaining Hoeffel's views. It is best to include, if possible, both verbal/written statements on an issue and how a candidate has actually voted on legislation dealing with the particular issue. A mixture of secondary sources along with primary sources is also preferable. If major newspapers are making a statement about his politics you can add it to his article (unless they disagree; then the article should cover that disagreement) and then cite the newspapers. It is best to word statements such as "he has been described as a social progressive by the Patriot News" rather than "He is a social progressive", because our articles shouldn't make direct statements of opinion in fuzzy areas such as this. I hope this helps, Them From Space 21:45, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

DePaul University's Coleman Entrepreneurship Center

User:Becca Berkenstadt/DePaul University's Coleman Entrepreneurship Center —Preceding unsigned comment added by Becca Berkenstadt (talk • contribs) 22:30, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, a good start, but as you no doubt know, the article is too promotional. Some suggestions:

The first reference, for DePaul, doesn't need to be a reference. Generally speaking, a wikilink is quite sufficient.
The tone is very promotional, it really should be toned down. For example, I don't think the "become a member" link is a good reference. Phrases such as "Blueprint provides current DePaul students the support and encouragement they need to successfully launch and grow" sound as if they are from a promotion brochure, and wikipedia is not intended as advertising space.
Rather than putting in external links such as the one to the Coleman center and Dr. Welsch, can you instead find an online reference that verifies the grant or the founder, and provide a citation to that?
I suggest looking at the Wikipedia:Citation_templates#Examples for samples of better ways to format citations from newspapers and magazines.

Hope this helps, --Nuujinn (talk) 18:15, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dear Nuujinn,

Thank you for your insights. I will be sure to take them into account. You are very helpful.

Becca Berkenstadt (talk) 19:21, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Xiaopeng Rick Niu

Xiaopeng Rick Niu Nanluoguxiang (talk) 01:38, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please kindly help review this Wikipedia page about Mr. Niu. Thank you very much for your time. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nanluoguxiang (talk • contribs) 01:41, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please take a look at WP:BIO - the subject of the article does not appear to be notable as Wikipedia defines that term, and therefore does not meet the inclusion criteria. – ukexpat (talk) 18:36, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Proactive policing

Hello, i have written a draft article on proactive policing which is here. Any feedback would be very much appreciated. Thank you YouAndMeBabyAintNothingButCamels (talk) 05:51, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know if this is, strictly speaking, a WP:POVFORK of Preventive police. However, it does seem to be mostly from one point of view. Yaris678 (talk) 10:34, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Kevin Warren Sloan

I am requesting feedback on User:Houstongal82/ Kevin Warren Sloan in order to move my userspace.

Houstongal82 (talk) 14:49, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think this is a very good start. You have some references, but could use some more, the standards are pretty high for biographies. I'd suggest losing the word "notable" in the first sentence--that's an opinion, really. Also, see if you can work on the lead--start with 1-3 lines of summary text, and then go into the article. I'd suggest as a start just to use the first sentence as the lead.

I am not sure what the purpose of the About KWS and Projects section is, if those sources contain data on his work, then it would be good to document that information in the article and provide inline citations.

The prose needs some work, but that can come with time.... --Nuujinn (talk) 18:02, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback - it was incredibly helpful! I'll make these changes and request feedback one more time before I request a move.

Houstongal82 (talk) 19:57, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have made a few minor formatting changes - headings per WP:MOSHEAD; hiding the categories while it's in user space. – ukexpat (talk) 20:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Steven Fox, Classical Music Conductor

User:Ultrageist/Steven Fox Hello, I'm new and this is my first article for Wikipedia. I was wondering if I could get a feedback for the page created on Steven Fox. He is a respected classical music conductor here in New York. He also has a group perform with Baroque era instruments (reproductions). I might have some mistake here or there so any feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks so much

Ultrageist (talk) 16:30, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The main thing this article needs are verifiable references to establish notability. You have a couple of decent references in the Notes section, I'd suggest converting those to inline citations. Search in Google news for more references, I'm sure you can find some. The biography and career sections both need some citations. --Nuujinn (talk) 17:51, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for the feedback. I will spend some time googling and make some edits.

Ultrageist (talk) 06:32, 7 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Philippa Hobbs

Philippa is a South African artist, author and curator. She has contributed to art development through the management of various generous art budgets, by writing educational supplements and by touring the MTN Art Foundation's large collection around the country. Hobbs is in the process of completing her 5th and 6th art book. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 41.247.119.244 (talk) 20:56, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I assume you are User:Annasor963? Please make sure you are signed in when editing. Thanks. – ukexpat (talk) 21:24, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:BSapp/Enter your new article name here

BSapp (talk) 21:28, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Most of the article is a copy and paste copyright violation of http://www.groovemaker.com/about/ . Copyvios are not permitted, even in userspace, so I have had to tag it for speedy deletion. – ukexpat (talk) 21:35, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Beachcomber Hotels

Hi, I've just modified my article. Adding some internal and external links to it and some more text as well. Can someone tell if either the article is ok or not plz and when are both of the top banner are going to be removed?

Thanks

Webbchot (talk) 05:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and I have tagged it for speedy deletion as such. Phrases like "recognized as the pioneer and leader of the Mauritian hotel industry," and "providing the best in the choice of hospitality and quality of service in the Indian Ocean region" are Spam 101. – ukexpat (talk) 18:14, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Speedily deleted for a fourth time: (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion). – ukexpat (talk) 20:49, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scottish Slimmers revisited

Scottish SlimmersThis page has been rewritten as I have a conflict of interest. Feedback would be welcome. Yvette Rayner Yvetterayner (talk) 13:34, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As you already know, speedily deleted again: ‎ (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion: A7: Article about a company, corporation, organization, or group, which does not indicate the importance or significance of the subject). – ukexpat (talk) 14:03, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Deberam/Michelle_Farmer_Jewelry

This article is about noted jewelry designer Michelle Farmer and some of her one-of-a-kind jewelry collections such as Pearls and Leather.

Deberam (talk) 14:39, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The article as it currently stands is not ready for moving to the mainspace. It currently only has a reference to the website of Michelle Farmer Jewelry. You would need to add reliable sources so the information in the article can be independently verified. On top of that the article is written like an advertisement. It does not objectively discuss the company. The prose would need to be completely rewritten before it is ready for the mainspace. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 14:50, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Although there is some leeway in user space, this is borderline speedily deletable. – ukexpat (talk) 19:38, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

And has now been deleted. – ukexpat (talk) 20:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

winter evening & warmth, limited edition

I bought every can of this I could find in my area, and then all of a sudden it was gone and 2-3 more scents popped up. Why was this limited? It's probably the best you've ever had and I'd like to find out how to get more. I don't even like the new ones. This was the best ever and you should know that according to how fast it sold out. Thanks, Beverly Stark, RN —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.187.9.74 (talk) 15:33, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. I suspect, based on your question, that you found one of our roughly three million articles, and thought that we were directly affiliated in some way with that subject. Please note that you are at Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, and this page is a help desk for review of new and draft articles. Thus, we have no inside track on the subject of your question. You can, however, search our vast catalogue of articles by typing a subject into the search field on the left hand side of your screen. If you cannot find what you are looking for, we have a reference desk, divided into various subject areas, where asking knowledge questions is welcome. Best of luck.Template:Z25 – ukexpat (talk) 17:45, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wales Live

Hi there,

Just looking any feedback on Wales Live wiki page....

Thanks a mil, Sarah

(1 April 2010). —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sarah McCaffrey (talk • contribs) 16:00, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and I have tagged it for speedy deletion as such. The fact that it is written in the first person is a bit of a giveaway of its promotional intent. Are you by any chance connected with the company? If so please read WP:COI. Even if the promotional stuff can be edited out, it is unlikely (at the moment at least) to meet Wikipedia's notability guidelines at WP:CORP -- most things that are "...soon to be the..." are unlikely to have had the required non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources to meet the inclusion criteria. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 17:43, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Speedily deleted: ‎ (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion). – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dave Lange

User:GeraldRice/Dave Lange

I'm looking to be sure my article on graphic designer Dave Lange is formatted correctly. Any help is appreciated. GeraldRice (talk) 19:30, 1 April 2010 (UTC)—Preceding unsigned comment added by GeraldRice (talk • contribs) 19:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There's nothing there to hint that he is in any way notable enough to have an article about him in an encyclopedia. If it were to appear as a new article, I'd speedily delete it as lacking either evidence or credible assertion of notability. --Orange Mike | Talk 20:07, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Vision Care for Homeless People

Vision Care for Homeless People Caring optician (talk) 21:01, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is a decent start, but is a bit rough. Some suggestions:

Cut back on the external references, they are all pretty similar and don't help establish notability.
Consider swapping the positions of the operations and history sections, I think it will read better.
The tone is a bit like a press release or ad, can you make the tone more neutral?
You need verifiable references to establish WP:N. Can you find some newspaper or other new articles? Is there any BBC coverage?

Hope that helps, feel free to contact me if you need help or have additional questions. --Nuujinn (talk) 17:41, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Romex Cable

Hello! I am a new contributor and long-time reader of Wikipedia. I've decided it's time I become a more active participant. I've started by creating this simple article User:Ninjashoes/Romex_Cable which I hope to move to the main space. Please let me know if this page is a good candidate and how it can be improved. There is a disambiguation page for Romex, but no further description of the item itself. Thanks :) Ninjashoes (talk) 21:13, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Seems like it's my day for being blunt - at the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and will almost certainly be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. It is probably a notable product per WP:PRODUCT but it will need to be substantially rewritten with cited references to substantial coverage in multiple independent reliable sources. – ukexpat (talk) 21:15, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, that one falls under one of the things Wikipedia is not: a product directory or buyers guide. --Orange Mike | Talk 21:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As the most commonly used wiring in buildings I though it notable enough to have it's own page per WP:PRODUCT. Perhaps I should make it more like this about.com description of Romex? And locate better/more references? Ninjashoes (talk) 21:34, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not necessarily like about.com, just an encyclopedic article written from a neutral point of view. And yes, you will need independent sources to demonstrate notability. – ukexpat (talk) 21:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Baggataway (manga) - New Wikipedia contributor here seeking useful advice

Hello Everyone. I am here to seek advice for the article: Baggataway (manga). It is an article relating to a Japanese comic. Among advices that I most wished to hear include Correctness in citation, Notability, and English style, but please feel free to tell me whatever come to your mind.

There is specific detail content - like further information of the characters - that I can possibly add, but I feel I should not spoil the original work too much.

Thank you very much Scchan (talk) 03:21, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I see that it's been marked for deletion--if it is deleted, do request that it be moved to your userspace for further work. One thing that I think needs doing is to provide english translations of the cited non-english sources, as per Wikipedia:References#Non-English_sources. Manga's not my thing, so I'm afraid I can't be too much help vis a vis content. --Nuujinn (talk) 16:50, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your input. I agree with you are correct that at least some sort of summary is needed for foreign language information. I like your input being specific and clear. Depending on the outcome of the delete process, I will make sure that be added to that page. I also work on Meteorology and Atmospheric Science pages; for those, I have no worry about foreign language (it is actually quite interesting that the big foreign journals in my field are actually all English). Scchan (talk) 19:58, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Do you think endorsements and reviews from independent professionals help the notability of it? I actually find out the work is actually endorsed by award winning creator who publishes in different publishers, and added that to the page. And somehow the work is also now listed under Lacrosse category, so I hope someone from Lacrosse group in here will say something. Scchan (talk) 21:27, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not Safe For Vampires

Not Safe For Vampires [[9]] —Preceding unsigned comment added by RichyDzeta (talk • contribs) 07:12, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The page doesn't demonstrate the notability of the book. If you were to move it to the mainspace now, it would be deleted. This is to say that a book does not get an article on Wikipedia simply because it exists. It is required to show that multiple reliable sources have covered the book in depth. This would include reviews from such sources as the New York Times and other newspapers, magazines, and other publications, including web-publications. The author's own website, as well as any website selling the book, do not demonstrate notability. Someguy1221 (talk) 07:21, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Philippa Hobbs 2

Philippa Hobbs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippa_Hobbs

Philippa Hobbs is an author and art historian in South Africa. I would like some advice as to how the subheadings of the articles should be ordered, what biographical personal information is necessary (such as family etc.) and whether her current projects - incomplete books - should be discussed.

Annasor963 (talk) 07:57, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You have already made a request above - please be patient, we are all volunteers here. – ukexpat (talk) 21:17, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Antonin Raymond Architect

I have substantially expanded this article on Antonin Raymond and would be grateful if someone could read it through and rate it. On the discussion page the previous author had added a Biography template, and I added Japan and Architecture one because I thought they were appropriate. Kenchikuben (talk) 13:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Penfold77/Loch_Long

User:Penfold77/Loch_Long This is my write up for a class of wooden sailing boat. Looking for feedback/reassurance as to whether it's ready for going live, it's my first wiki page. Cheers. Penfold77 (talk) 19:29, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

War in Darfur

A new section was recently added[10] to War in Darfur. The new content is extremely biased but contains some ideas worth mentioning and has been superseded by 50+ comments. The article receives little attention but desperately needs some. I've posted a comment on its talk page looking for solutions. It needs feedback. What should we do? dmyersturnbull ⇒ talk 20:02, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The article's talk page is the place to discuss content issues. This page is really for requests for feedback on new articles or drafts of articles. – ukexpat (talk) 21:21, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

David Weir (writer)

Any feedback or reviews appreciated! David Weir (writer) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Weir_(writer) Thanks! Fiona Weir Talk

I see that you've already gotten some feedback from Orangemike. I think the article is sparse and needs some fleshing out, but the tone is pretty neutral. What you really need tho are some 2nd party reliable sources to establish your dad's notability--the best thing would be if you could find references in newspapers or magazines. The Radio Times interview would be a good one to use--see WP:CITE for some information on how to cite sources. Such sources are key to a biographical article's survival.... --Nuujinn (talk) 20:14, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That's useful, thanks very much! I'll look for some more sources. I'm kind of hoping other people will flesh out the article, since I know I'm on thin ice doing it myself, due to (real or perceived) COI! Fiona Weir (talk) 14:56, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Review of a user-created book

Hi there. Could anyone please see if User:Buggie111/Books/The Atlanta Campaign is ready for the Book: space? I'd like to know if it it's ready to be sent out. Cheers, Buggie111 (talk) 21:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is a first - we haven't been asked to give feedback on a UCB before. I have only had peripheral contact with the project. Maybe you would get a better response at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Wikipedia-Books? Oops, that was me, signing now.. – ukexpat (talk) 19:34, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

S'Quarrels

User:TBGF/S'Quarrels TBGF (talk) 05:53, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The article itself looks good. Although the subject, with it being a fairly new game, recently created in 2007, it's notability may not be as established as some older more well-known games. It would help to assert notability: what makes this card game important or worthy of an encyclopedic article? A wider variety of references may help. See WP:GNG for further information. -- œ ^™ 16:13, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Digital Group Audio

We are a a group of business students from Cal State San Marcos working with a company for our senior project and one of our tasks was to create a Wikipedia page for them. We are fairly new at this and any feedback you may be able to give us would help out a lot. Thank you for your time. Once again the article was Digital Group Audio.

Thank you,

Opmongooseegg (talk) 20:03, 3 April 2010 (UTC)Senior Experience Team, April 3, 2010[reply]

A couple of major problems: first, the article is very spammy, so much so that I have tagged it for speedy deletion. Second, the subject's notability is dubious - please take a look at the guidelines at WP:CORP - even if it survives speedy deletion you will need to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple independent reliable sources to demonstrate notability. Final point for now, sharing a user account is not permitted by the user name policy. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:13, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

KaisKids Cambodia

User:Herriottj/KaisKids, Cambodia

This is the first article I have ever written for Wiki. I welcome feedback on whether it has been written correctly and follows the editorial guidelines?

Kind regards Jill Herriott Herriottj (talk) 12:22, 5 April 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Herriottj (talk • contribs) 04:36, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The language is far too promotional, and you have provided no evidence of notability. Sorry, but Wikipedia's purpose is not to give publicity to worthy causes.--Orange Mike | Talk 17:20, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Just hear it

This is an article about a music service I found online. I found a lot of sources, but would like for someone to check it for me, if possible. Thank you!

Ericcartmenez (talk) 18:38, 4 April 2010 (UTC) Ericcartmenez 04/04/2010[reply]

Infotech Enterprises

Mariah 2010 (talk) 04:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC) Maria H 05/04/2010[reply]

That did not read like an article, it read like an advertisement. I cleared all the spammy junk out, and almost nothing was left. --Orange Mike | Talk 13:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I do not understand why this is happening. We are trying to create a profile for a company that is well known, well established. I see that you have been deleting everything. I do not know if there is something that we may have violated. If so, I think, you should let us know the appropriate links, that helps us get facts straight and improvise upon our work. However, I see that there is an element of pride in deleting, and announcing, NOTHING WAS LEFT. Would it not be so obliging if you as an admin showed us the path, rather than showing, how you could just undo all that we did. We are neither spammers, neither junk, we are genuine, and want to be a part, if you could let that happen. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 117.195.194.123 (talk) 15:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Who is this "we" that leaves an unsigned message? I take no pride in deleting other people's work, but I do feel a certain satisfaction in removing advertisements. Encyclopedia articles do not include language like, "recognized as a leading geospatial (GIS) services provider offering end-to-end geospatial solutions" (if there is one word which marks modern corporate spam, it is the abuse and misuse of the word "solution" in this smarmy manner) and "enjoys equity participation from globally reputed investors". --Orange Mike | Talk 15:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, forgot to sign in, like I said, we are new to this. For us users, any little definition or information that we look for, the first thing that we google is topic+wiki. The reason is simple, we think that they(wiki) will have accurate information. Well Infotech Enterprises is a company based in Hyderabad, and we do not have a wiki page. Yes, we are not here to advertise, else, we would not have our website, or spend so much on our ICM. We are here since we would also like to be known for what we are. We have not developed wiki pages, and do not understand the criteria that needs to be followed. I would be deeply obliged, if you could let me know what it takes to write a corporate profile about a company. What are the kind of citations you look forward for? What are the external links you look forward for? I have seen the corporate profile of Microsoft Corporation, and we are trying to develop something on the same lines. Ofcourse, we still have a long way to go, but our work is increased, when admins delete our work, instead of probably just letting us know where we lack,and how it has to be corrected. I will try and develop more content over the next couple of days, and request you to let me know where I do not follow guidelines, rather than deleting my work.

Thanks

Mariah 2010 (talk) 16:18, 6 April 2010 (UTC) Maria[reply]

A few things: Who are "we"? If you are sharing an account, that is not permitted by the user name policy; You appear to be connected with this organization so please read WP:COI - you are strongly discouraged from editing or creating articles where you have a COI; Now that the spam has been removed, there is nothing to indicate how or why this company meets Wikipedia's inclusion criteria for companies set out at WP:CORP; I can understand your frustration, but we have inclusion criteria and policies and we have to uphold them. You would be better off creating the article in you user space at User:Mariah 2010/Infotech Enterprises where you can work on it at your own pace before asking for it to be reviewed again. The Article creation wizard can help you do this. But please note, Wikipedia is not a directory or free webhost and only a very small percentage of all the companies out there meet the notability criteria. There are other outlets such as WikiCompany that have no inclusion criteria. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:42, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Josemariasaldana/ICST

ICST User:Josemariasaldana/ICST

I'd like to know if this article can be published. It is about an international organization that organizes international ICT conferences and publications.

Thank you

--Josemariasaldana (talk) 13:00, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Accrediting Commission for Community and Junior Colleges

Hi, I'm requesting feedback on this article, User:4117Ashford/Accrediting_Commission_for_Community_and_Junior_Colleges. I want the article to be helpful to academics and non-academics alike who want to know the nature and significance of this commission's accreditation process. I use six different sources, four of them third-party. Much of the description of the process I derive from ACCJC materials because it is the authority on policies and procedures. Thanks very much. 4117Ashford (talk) 15:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Timeshare Relief, INC.

Requesting feedback on new Wiki page. What can I do to improve the quality and value of the entry. Thanks?

Timeshare Relief, INC. Mytwocents02 (talk) 17:41, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is very spammy in tone, so much so that I have tagged it for speedy deletion. – ukexpat (talk) 19:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

What can I do make it sound less spammy? That wasn't my intention at all. There are other timeshare companies on Wikipedia, and I actually tried following their model and templates even, like Group RCI and Wyndham Vacation Resorts. How did those entries stick? Is it because they have very little info in them? thanks Mytwocents02 (talk) 21:54, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The first question to ask is why are you writing the article in the first place? If you are associated with the company, you will very likely not be able to write a good article on it, see WP:COI. Links to the firm's web site are not good references, a good start would be to eliminate those. Also, I'd suggest you request that the article be moved to your userspace if your motives are pure. --Nuujinn (talk) 22:26, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It did not read like an article, it read like an advertisement. Any "article" which describes the subject as selling "solutions" is going to be flagged as an advertisement, unless the subject is Sigma-Aldrich and the solutions sold are gram-molar ionic salts in aqueous solution. Other obvious spammy bits included the persistent use of first names, the cozy tone, the repeated insertion of ™ marks... I could go on and on.--Orange Mike | Talk 13:48, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

How do I move it back to my userspace so I can fix it. I also realized that I failed to mention some critical controversies that may make this article more notable.Mytwocents02 (talk) 17:35, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Glenn Gissler

Hi, I'm trying to post an article on interior designer Glenn Gissler (should be either User:Misterajp/glenn gissler or Glenn Gissler. This is my first article for wikipedia - I've been very careful about making sure the subject is notable and has appropriate sources, but i'm getting very confused/overwhelmed by the protocol of actually posting. Any help would be much appreciated - thank you so much! Misterajp (talk) 21:20, 5 April 2010 (UTC) MisterAJP April 5, 2010[reply]

I think the subject probably meets the notability guidelines set out and WP:BIO and WP:ARTIST, but the references need some work. At the moment they just point to the main pages of the journals, so it is impossible for a reader to verify that the source actually says what is claimed. You should cite the sources using the {{Cite journal}} template, filling in as much of the relevant data as possible. There are also a few layout issues: the article should be broken up into section for ease of reading (see WP:LAYOUT and WP:MOSBIO); I corrected a couple of other formatting issues and fixed some broken Wikilinks. I would advise that the draft not be moved into mainspace just yet - at least not until the references are more detailed. If you need help adding the {{Cite journal}} template, let me know and I will try to help. – ukexpat (talk) 15:17, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Aberdeen Bach Choir

Could someone please have a quick review of this short article. It also has a couple of discussion topics/ideas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rhymester/Aberdeen_Bach_Choir

--Rhymester (talk) 22:26, 5 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Other than some minor style issues, it looks good. You may want to add more independant third-party sources to help assert notability. -- œ ^™ 04:53, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Saeb Eigner

Hello, I have created the following article for a friend but would like to hear any comments as this is the first article I have ever created. Thank you

Saeb Eigner - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Seigner/Saeb_Eigner#External_links Seigner (talk) 08:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nothing there to indicate why the guy is notable enough to have an entry in an encyclopedia. Also: please be aware of our rules about conflict of interest, which would strongly suggest that you should not be writing about a friend or client. --Orange Mike | Talk 13:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Adeyer Sportif

The Adeyer Sportif is a rare Australian car that many have heard of but few know details about. This article will be, as far as i am able to determine, pretty much the only online information available at this time. Too many forums have misinformation from unreliable sources regarding this vehicle. Ignatzmax (talk) 14:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is a bit of a rough start. The tone is very conversational and needs to be reworked to a more neutral tone. But you need to work first on the references. I realize it may be counter-intuitive, but the car in your driveway does not count as a reference. The Wheels magazine you mention would be a good start, but you'll need to fill out the citation with the author, name of article, page numbers, etc. See the article on inline citations for a simple example. If you need more help, ask here or on my talk page, hope that helps, --Nuujinn (talk) 19:58, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Ignatzmax/Adeyer Sportif Too much like hard work so Im not going to bother with it then. The ONLY information i have EVER found in the last 5 or so years of looking, is in the one copy of wheels magazine that i found by accident. Since there is no more info anywhere else, the subject and car will die and fade into obscurity. I dont have time or the inclination to make information about a rare car sound more like a checklist. The info i posted was reworked from the magazine and what they did was suitable for the general public, so delete, erase, dispose of or do whatever to this information cos its fine to me. I dont really care. Ignatzmax (talk) 13:44, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Modulor

Although I have kept most of the original text, I have expanded this article on Modulor to include inline citations and references. I have amended the examples given, replacing those that did not include citations with those that do. I would be grateful if someone could read the article through and rate it. Kenchikuben (talk) 15:19, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Elena Miscodan

Elena Miscodan User:DianaTocu/Elena_Miscodan DianaTocu (talk) 17:07, 7 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please take a look at the notability guidelines for living people set out at WP:BIO. You will have to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources independent of the subject. Also take a look at WP:BLP1E, it's going to be hard to argue that this anything other than one event. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Mikemahalo/Human Design

User:Mikemahalo/Human_Design

This is my first attempt at an article. There was a previous article named Human Design System that was deleted, I have since found out that was sponsored by the originator and had problems with bias and commercial interest, and possibly copyright. http://deletionpedia.dbatley.com/w/index.php?title=Human_Design_System And this is WHY it was deleted http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Human_Design_System

I wrote my first version here on my own blog www.humandesignblog.com - http://mikemahalo.vox.com/library/post/ideas-for-wikipedia-article-on-human-design.html

however clearly wikipedia needs a different style so I started again with references, and left out most of the content.

The most obvious reference is not allowed, the personal Facebook of Ra Uru Hu, so I had to think, what references are verifiable, and the remaining facts were just that this exists, over here, you can look, it claims this and that, and there are so many websites and online communities, and now an independent book.

I would like to include more details of WHAT Human Design says, but these are not within wiki style, as far as I can see, and most of my first attempt and that of the deleted entry are not suitable, perhaps. Mikemahalo (talk) 09:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I think the biggest problem you have at this point is a lack of verifiable and reliable sources. The BBC page is the closest, but I believe that's essentially a forum (since it seems that anyone can sign up and start a conversation). Without good sources, I do not think this article would remain in mainspace for very long. --Nuujinn (talk) 19:48, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your comment Nuujinn. I believe the fact that Harper Collins have published the first independent book on Human Design is the new key that establishes Human Design on the wikipedia map. I just realised, it is not only the birth day, but the solar birth hour of the originator of Human Design, Ra Uru Hu. By coincidence, the moon is in a place that gives me unusual confidence and energy, to succeed where others fail, and my mood, you understand, is carpe diem. I am posting in mainspace and ready with my water pistol to defend my baby..

Mikemahalo (talk) 02:15, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Best of luck, but do keep in mind that once in mainspace, she's not your baby any more. My motto is carpe carp, and it's rather wet out tonight, so perhaps fortune smiles upon you! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nuujinn (talk • contribs) 03:22, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

thanks - thank you - merci .... mercy!! Mikemahalo (talk) 12:04, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hungary-Slovakia relations

Hungary–Slovakia_relations

There seems to be a disagreement over which version of the article is better. The new one is significantly shorter, but that is due to a large amount of unnecessary info included in the previous version. Any opinions welcome.

A vote section I created [11].

The versions in question

1. - longer version [12]

2. - the new, shortened one [13]

diff: [14]

Wladthemlat (talk) 13:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is not the place for content disputes, you should probably take this to WP:THIRD. Thanks. -Reconsider! 04:08, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Boraginaceae page display problem

on page subject BORAGINACEAE the list of genera is partly covered by a photograph. I have not seen this before. Is it a page problem or a problem with my (work) PC, which displays other pages properly? As it stands, I cannot check the list of genera, (though there are other sources of the data), which spoils the page. - js.Boraginaceae —Preceding unsigned comment added by 137.108.145.10 (talk) 14:58, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please ask your question at the Help Desk or the Village Pump. This page is for requesting review of new articles or drafts of articles. Thanks. – ukexpat (talk) 15:21, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback - European Educational Exchanges-Youth for Understanding

Hi,

A few weeks ago I created a new page on Wikipedia for the organisation that I work for. It still has not been reviewd and as such still has the tag at the top of the page. Please can someone review it so that the tag can be removed. The name of the page is: European Educational Exchanges-Youth for Understanding (EEE-YFU).

Many thanks,

EEE-YFU —Preceding unsigned comment added by 217.136.253.131 (talk) 16:35, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please make sure you are logged-in when you edit! First, please read WP:COI - you are strongly discouraged from creating or editing articles where you have a conflict of interest. Second, the article contains no references to demonstrate how or why the organization is notable per the guidelines at WP:ORG - you need to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple sources independent of the subject. Third, the article is very promotional in tone and will have to be toned down. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:55, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Jamie McCartney

User:Vitaled/Jamie McCartney

Jamie McCartney is sn artist and sculptor living and working in Brighton. He has achieved notoriety through his sculptures created form casts of the human body. His latest work 'The Great Wall of Vagina' is due to be finished this month.

Vitaled (talk) 20:38, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The subject appears to meet the notability guidelines at WP:BIO and WP:ARTIST. However, the article is rather promotional in tone and full of peacock terms and other hyperbole that will have to be toned down, in particular the "recognition" section is unnecessary. There are also some formatting issues: you should use the {{Cite web}} and {{Cite news}} templates for your references rather than bare URLs; the lists should be formatted as bulleted lists by putting a * at the beginning of each line; you only need one empty line between paragraphs; you should not link to any page on his website except the main page and generally the list of external links is way too long, see WP:ELNO. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:51, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Human Design

I have posted the cleanest and most minimal entry on Human Design. Yes I am new here, ok ok ok.

It seems to me there is NO actual content today that meets wiki criteria, but now that Harper Collins have decided Human Design will sell books commercially, other publishers are surely watching and ready.

So my new born article only says that Human Design is a "set of ideas", who by and when, and that the huge number of people interested makes Human Design notable in wiki terms. 1 million or more already, it is about to break into the mainstream, it is at that critical mass of monkeys or whatever.

I understand that it looks suspect to experienced wikipedians, I say HOLD YOUR HORSES and CHECK THIS, be fair and be in the spirit of wiki. This IS something new and extraordinary.

THIS IS DIFFERENT because one man holds all the knowledge, he has gone from a tramp to a millionaire, and he has top corporate lawyers. It is science fiction, the man who fell to earth, what is going on? It is NOTABLE to create millions of interested people in just 20 years from being a naked tramp living in a tree.

THIS IS DIFFERENT because it is empirical in nature.

So for now I only say, it IS NOTABLE, the evidence is its popularity and specifically how many websites and professional consultants are out there, that is NOTABLE by any reasonable assessment.

I have deleted all other content from my attempts at an article.

Mikemahalo (talk) 09:21, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I just noticed that NOTABLE is almost the same as NOT ABLE - hmmm. Mikemahalo (talk) 12:22, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There were two major problems with the article, one of which is noted in response to your previous request above, and other, the reason that the first article was deleted: first, notability and sources: you say above that this is "new", and therein lies the problem, the vast majority of "new" things do not meet Wikipedia's inclusion criteria because they do not have the required "non-trivial coverage in multiple sources independent of the subject". See WP:N and WP:GNG for more on notability. The fact that this guy has gone from tramp to millionaire is not de facto notable, he may have some brilliant new insight, he may just be a good salesman, or he may be a conman, but without properly cited sources it's hard to tell. Second, it was promotional in tone - obviously you enthusiastic about the subject, but the article read like a promo piece. If you want to re-create it, I suggest going back to userspace and trying again. – ukexpat (talk) 13:50, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

SO give a man a chance!

Jesus.

While it is borderline, I agree, it is within the borderline.

Look, Harper Collins see commercial interest, they are the first, other mainstream publishers are out looking for authors right now, think that through, and all those websites and the few but reasonable and allowable minimum of sources.

Read the Pacha Article:

Pacha Magazine July 2009, page 88, it is online AND REFERENCED IN THE ARTICLE YOU ASKED MR ORANGE TO DELETE: "routinely rejected interview requests from the media" the owner of the system has supressed and contained media coverage, page 89 avoiding publicity promotion advertising and endorsement from the many celebrities involved - this is Pacha magazine, they do talk to many celebrities who go to Ibiza, and there is this man living there they all talk about, but with discretion and lawyers, media coverage of Human Design is suppressed. But NOT TOTALLY.

It is time to find the reliable secondary sources, and as it happens, I feel GOOD planting the seed, but please let others have access to continue and put the details. It is not for me to do all this, it needs community and you just pissed on it, as though this was your personal toilet. It is a place for SHARED KNOWLEDGE by PEOPLE< ordinary people, not clever fast bullies like you, sorry but in this instance, you allowed yourself to go too fast and too far.

REMEMBER WIKIPEDIA GUIDELINES - IT IS NOT MY BABY means it is the property of the collective community and instead YOU suppressed it. People are on facebook telling me, they cannot find and contribute... give time here easy tiger... Mikemahalo (talk) 14:50, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mikemahalo, I'm sympathetic because you're new at this, but please understand, the fact that it's not your baby means folks can change it, or ask that it be deleted for not meeting guidelines. And in the last incarnation I saw, it doesn't. So please do take Ukexpat's advice (he's been around for a long while and if he suggests something, its a good idea). Recreate the article in your userspace and make the attempt to add the references you can find, then pop me a note on my talk page or here, and we'll take a look and see what we can come up with. Sometimes things don't work out, but this seed won't grow unless you tend to it in the greenhouse before transplanting out to mainspace. Don't feel badly, it's very hard to write an article on your first go, especially (and ironically) if it's a topic you're interested in. Again, best of luck, --Nuujinn (talk) 15:13, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Also read Up and coming next big thing! --Orange Mike | Talk 15:54, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Michael Pillsbury

I need help on my first article created a yer ago on how to improve it, and to remove the two tags for clean up and conflict of interest that were placed in June 2009 without any explanation. Hasn't this article been cleaned up sufficiently by many editors and bots? Is it proper to tag it with the allegation of "conflict of interest" without evidence or suggestions how to improve? Any volunteer's advice would be appreciated.

Artdriver (talk) 19:43, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have made a few minor changes and removed the tags. – ukexpat (talk) 20:05, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thomas and Elizabeth Bulkeley tomb

Please check User:Creativedrayton/Thomas and Elizabeth Bulkeley tomb It is a new article about a tomb at Market Drayton which I think is of historical importance. Thanks Creativedrayton (talk) 21:03, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I see that the article is now in mainspace at Bulkeley tomb. I have done some work on the layout and formatting and removed some of the redlinks - if any of those individuals ever have their own articles, the links can be added back. Even though you have some sources, and the individuals buried in the tomb have at least one notable descendant, Peter Bulkley, I think there are issues with the notability of the tomb itself. I would strongly encourage you to find some more sources to support notability if you can and be prepared for someone to tag the article with a "notability" template. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 15:19, 12 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Royston Arts Festival

Royston Arts Festival~~Chair 10-04-10~~ —Preceding unsigned comment added by Chair1 (talk • contribs) 16:37, 10 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. It looks like yo've made a good start with this article. At the moment, it looks like the biggest problem is whether or not it meets our notability guideline. Have a read of that, and see if you can write anything in the article that demonstrates why it is notable. Another thing you could do is to look for more references to reliable sources. I see there is one to the Telegraph, but when I looked at that article, it only briefly mentioned the festival, so that doesn't really count as significant coverage. Hope this helps, --Beloved Freak 18:10, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thyroid cancer

Would like an expert editor to review and possibly improve this new article I created. Immunize (talk) 17:59, 10 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Immunize, you might be better off asking at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Medicine where there are likely to be editors familiar with the subject. Regards, --Beloved Freak 13:51, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Did you look at the article, or do you feel that only a medical expert should review the article? Immunize (talk) (talk) 17:52, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, I looked at the article. With respect to the manual of style, it looks fine (other than the format of the citation, which is a bare url at the moment). It has a reference. I'm not sure what other feedback you're looking for, since it's only three lines long. I suggested the Wikiproject because if you're looking for collaboration, you're more likely to find someone there with a specific interest in the subject. And, I don't know enough about this to be sure, but since the first sentence of Thyroid neoplasm says "Thyroid neoplasm or thyroid cancer usually refers to...", is this other article necessary? I see it was previously a redirect to Thyroid neoplasm. Is there any reason in particular you thought it warranted a separate article?--Beloved Freak 18:06, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A thyroid neoplasm can be benign or malignant, thyroid cancer is malignant by definition. Furthermore, the treatment for benign thyroid neoplasm (such as thyroid adenoma) differs completely from that of a malignant thyroid neoplasm. Immunize (talk) (talk) 18:15, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, as I say I don't know too much about it. However, the article at Thyroid neoplasm looks like it covers this too. As well as the Wikiproject, it might be worth starting a discussion at Talk:Thyroid neoplasm, perhaps also saying what you think ought to be expanded, and what expert help you need. --Beloved Freak 18:26, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Himalayan Cataract Project

I could use your help in making this labor of love Himalayan Cataract Project a more compliant Wikipedia article. I need help with links, style, edits, and general flow. We hope that this article will not be removed for minor technicalities. Your input is greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Salwa and Anya Kayguarnay (talk) 21:53, 10 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Green-Works

Hi there, this is my first article on Wikipedia and I was hoping if you could please review it and provide me some feedback on the article.

Green-Works is a charity in the UK which recycles furniture and sells them off to other charities and businesses in the UK.

Thanks

Rcummings5 (talk) 23:54, 10 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I've had a look at the article, and you've made a good start. I especially like how you've included references to reliable sources like the BBC and the Guardian. One of the problems with the article at the moment, is that it is not very neutral. One way to look at it is, that when someone reads an article, they shouldn't be able to tell what the writer of the article personally thinks; whether they are a fan, or in favour of the subject, or it they are against it. Reading this article, I can tell that you think it's a fantastic organisation doing a lot of good. And it may well be! But neutrality is one of out key policies here at Wikipedia. In fact, it's one of the five "pillars".

I'll give you some examples of not-so-neutral wording: "The impact which Green-Works has had in society is remarkable", "Organisations have benefited from the services offered by Green-Work", "delivering real social benefits". These need to be reworded, and backed up by reliable (independent) sources. You mention in the first sentence that the organisation is "award-winning". Although that's true, and you mention it later with a reference, we don't tend to say that a subject is award winning in the first sentence. It's just a convention here at Wikipedia that again helps with the neutrality.

A couple of related problems with style: you mention the founder by first name (I don't mean when you first mention him - as Colin Crooks - but later, when you just call him "Colin". This is a bit too informal. Anothing thing is, you say "as committed as we are ..." Who's we? Wikipedia? I presume not! That use of "we" is definitely to be avoided. All in all, it comes off as a promotional piece for your organisation. I think that it is notable though, and can be improved if you bear some of these things in mind.

One last thing - I presume, from that use of the word "we", that you are somehow connected to the organisation. Writing about subjects you are connected to is strongly discouraged as it's seen as a conflict of interest. However, the horse is out of the stable now as you have created the article, and I think with a little bit more work, it could be a decent article. I will leave some helpful links on you page, but in particluar, please read Wikipedia:Neutral point of view, Wikipedia:Verifiability, Wikipedia:Conflict of interest and Wikipedia:FAQ/Organizations. It would also be helpful if you could write a brief statement on your userpage declaring any conflict of interest with certain articles. Hope this helps, --Beloved Freak 13:47, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sergiosbox/Stockholm_Lisboa_Project

Hello,

I just created my first article about a Swedeish/Portuguese music group. Because I'm not used to Wiki I would apreciate some input before I think about submiting it as a mainspace article.

Thank you for any help! Sérgio Crisóstomo —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sergiosbox (talk • contribs) 07:45, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Sergio, thanks for contributing to Wikipedia. This is not a bad start, however it is important that you provide reliable third party references to substantiate the content of the article. If you're unsure, please take a look at this and WP:RS for more details. All the best, -Reconsider! 11:47, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the input! I added 3 references that are "factual" and give a proof of what I wrote. They don't add new information, just add detail/proof to it. I supose that was your suggestion. Am I far from "safely" suggesting it to the mainspace?

Meanwhile how do I answer to your comment? like I did, just add ":" on the page and "write"?

Thank you again!, Sergiosbox (talk) 19:50, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Liberty Island

Liberty Island expanded and re-organized articleDjflem (talk) 14:14, 3 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks pretty good - not sure what else to say! – ukexpat (talk) 02:41, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mark Collard

I've posted this article about User:In2play/Mark Collard who has been instrumental in popularising and developing the field of adventure education in Australia. He has also written 3 top-selling texts in regards activities used in the field. This is only a start, and I am still looking for more sources to add further information about his accomplishments over the past 20 years. I'm looking for feedback, as this is my first Wikipedia article contribution.

I woudl like to get some feedback about how to create those boxes which appear in top right-hand side which give vital stats, such as DOB, spouse, kids, etc.

cheers, Will 4 Feb 2010 In2play (talk) 01:55, 4 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Granary Buildings, Leeds

Any feedback on this article would be welcome.

This is an important, historic building but there doesn't seem to be any mention of it in the Leeds and Liverpool Canal or Architecture of Leeds articles.

EricPolymath (talk) 09:30, 4 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Xena: Warrior Princess

Xena: Warrior Princess. Touchy article, with strong and differing opinions. I have recently restructured it, improved style, added bits. Require general feedback on how to improve it further, for self and others who regularly patrol it. Would like reclassification to C/B class if appropriate. Bards (talk) 16:11, 6 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Commotio

User:OxfordSinger/Commotio

Looking for initial feedback, please - first Wiki contribution. Thank you. OxfordSinger (talk) 16:54, 6 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

P.T. Barnum Awards

P.T. Barnum Awards Hello, looking for feedback on this page on a Tufts University awards show for excellence in the entertainment industry. Please let me know if you see any errors or have more information. Thank you Carchi01 (talk) 22:35, 7 February 2010 (UTC)carchi01 2/5/10[reply]

Denielle Hann

User:Nlmusicguy/Denielle Hann

New to Wiki. Please provide feedback/edits on Denielle Hann. It must also be posted to wiki by someone who has that ability.

Thanks very much Nlmusicguy (talk) 15:23, 9 February 2010 (UTC)Nlmusicguy 09 Feb 2010[reply]

Review LTX-Credence article

LTX-Credence Corporation

Two companies have merged, updating the historical data. Easy review. Ref'ed AP article on the subject, sourced by the newly merged company. Rbenech (talk) 22:21, 9 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Bill Zadick

I've written a biography article for User:Rosalita923/Bill_Zadick, a US amateur wrestler who has won a world championship. It's the first article I've ever created, so I'd be grateful for any and all feedback regarding anything you feel needs to be added, deleted, or cited differently.

Many thanks! --Rosalita923 (talk) 17:27, 10 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

New Article: American Car Designer Eric Stoddard

Request to review information about Automobile Designer Eric Stoddard. Review resources on related car designs, please.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Stoddard

Speedstudio (talk) 13:14, 11 February 2010 (UTC) SpeedStudioDesign.com[reply]

You have a decent amount of resources. I don't really see anything wrong. Maybe remove some of the duplicate content under "Career."

Aimelise (talk) 13:50, 11 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tito in ekšn

Tito in ekšn punk rock group from the 90s

Partizanchek (talk) 17:16, 11 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Reconnective Therapy

Reconnective Therapy Reconnective Therapy ```` —Preceding unsigned comment added by Psullivan7 (talk • contribs) 13:03, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Crazy Waiting

user:chasingflowers/crazywaiting A recent South Korean movie that I love. Several of the actors have their own Wikipedia pages already, so I thought it would be notable. Chasingflowers (talk) 01:28, 15 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback requested, please.

Hello,

May I please get some feedback on the following page?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Weatherlands/European_Climate_Assessment_and_Dataset_%28ECA%26D%29

I would like to make it live as soon as possible since our website, eca.knmi.nl, has been updated as well.

Note: All images are intended to be copyrighted as open to the public. They are generated by "using" the website which anyone can do.

Thanks for your time, please respond in "my talk."

Good day, ~WL

Weatherlands (talk) 10:24, 15 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This post says "our website"; what is your connection with this organization? --Orange Mike | Talk 17:45, 16 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Orangemike, sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I say "our website" because I sometimes work on the project and they gave me the task of sharing information about the database. It is a database of freely available data that is downloadable on the website so no costs are involved at all. The project was initiated by the European Climate Support Network (ECSN) but is coordinated by KNMI. Do you still consider this a conflict of interest?

Also, can you please explain to me why all of my external links have been broken?

Thanks,

Weatherlands (talk) 10:18, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Joseph Matheny

(````) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Setianson (talk • contribs) 18:43, 17 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Edwin Hodge

tjbw (talk) 21:03, 17 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

International media reaction to Barack Obama's election

I would like to invite feedback on this draft article on the international media reaction to Barack Obama's 2008 election. Please note that images are available to improve the article's look and will be added once the page is published. Please leave comments on the draft's discussion page. Thank you! --Amandaroyal (talk) 19:06, 19 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mark W. Moffett New page to post

I would like to post a new page about the Sociobiologist/National Geographic Top Photograher/Ant expert/etc. Mark Moffett. Below is the revised draft of the article with more references. I would also like to add one or two photos, but do not know how to do that. Thanks. Never did this before. -Roc Ordman

Mark W. Moffett, Ph.D.

Attempt to post new article

bg

“Mark has developed a career that combines science and photography, in spite of being a high school dropout. Although his family was not academic, encouraged by his parents he sought out biologists by the age of 12. “ [1] Moffett received his BA in Biology at Beloit College in Wisconsin in 1979. He received his PhD from Harvard University where he studied with E. O. Wilson, who developed the field of sociobiology. Mark was the first PhD candidate that Wilson had accepted in about a decade, but Mark was so fascinated by ant behavior that Wilson agreed to accept him as a student. Moffett taught himself novel photographic techniques for his 1989 Ph.D. on ants. National Geographic magazine published these novel photographs, and he went on to become a top photojournalist of that magazine^[1] Moffett became curator of ants at Harvard, and then directed Harvard's Museum of Comparative Zoology. His research concerns insect social behavior and the structure and dynamics of forest ecosystems, particularly their canopies. He travels the world studying different insects and ecosystems. He has investigated and written about ^[2]canopies of the Amazon rain forest, where he operates a research station in Peru. He also has worked on the supertall coniferous forests of the Pacific Northwest, for which he led the first ever ascent and study of the world's tallest tree, known as the National Geographic redwood. In 1993 Harvard University Press published Moffett's book, The High Frontier: Exploring the Tropical Rainforest Canopy ^[3]. He has a new book coming out in early 2010. Today his research and National Geographic photography are interspersed with writing and public lecturing about rain forests. In 2010, he is Research Associate, NMNH, the Smithsonian Institution, Associate Curator, the University of California, Berkeley, and Contract Photographer, National Geographic Magazine. He also operates a research station in the Amazon Rainforest in Peru along the Amazon River. A photomural he produced there can be seen at Olbrich Botanical Gardens in Madison, WI.

Among his achievements, his home page is ^[4], giving a list of over 80 peer-reviewed publications and 20 articles in National Geographic. Among his awards are the Lowell Thomas Medal from National Geographic ^[5], and the Beloit College Roy Chapman Andrews Award ^[6]. He has written books on ants, frogs, and the rainforest ^[7].

EXTERNAL LINKS

User:HealthGal/Tracey_Powell

This is an article about Tracey Powell, a healthcare entrepreneur who is highly-recognized in the industry as having produced the first and only FDA-approved at-home kits for anonymous HIV and Hepatitis-C testing. By de-stigmatizing STD testing and providing an online, confidential forum for risk evaluation and expert test recommendations, he has enabled thousands who otherwise would not have sought out such information to receive anonymous STD testing, and subsequent treatment as applicable.

HealthGal (talk) 01:34, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sun Yat-sen's prayer at the tomb of the Hongwu Emperor

Hi

This is my first article (lot of fun). In fact I have never edited a page either. I was going through the page on Sun Yat-sen trying to find out about this prayer that he made at the tomb of the Hongwu Emperor. I had seen a reference to the fact that Sun Yat-sen had visited and prayed at the tomb three days after he took power in a book on the Forbidden city. I got very curious as to why he, who had been trying to overthrow the Qing dynasty, would visit the tomb of the founder of the Ming dynasty. In any case one thing led to another and I managed to find the original prayer mentioned in a book published in 1912.

I would like to add a reference to this prayer in Sun Yat-sen's original article and as such would like to add the prayer itself as an article which can be then be linked.

User:MalikFeb2010/Sun Yat-sen's prayer at the tomb of the Hongwu Emperor

MalikFeb2010 (talk) 04:49, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

For starters, welcome to Wikipedia. Please continue to edit here. Looking at the article on Sun Yat-Sen, I see no reason for this to be a separate article. But it is very well written and sourced and probably belongs within the article if it is indeed notable enough. Unfortunately, I do not know enough about his life to tell you if it is notable or not, but regardless, it does not need its own article.BillyJack193 (talk) 04:58, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the quick feedback. I think this was a very graceful tribute by Sun Yat-sen to the Ming Emperor and as such should be part of the page on him - also points to the centuries long conflicts that have taken place between the Chinese Han race and the Eastern and Western Tartars. I presume (not sure how it gets determined if it is notable enough or not) that it will be okay for me to go ahead and figure out the appropriate place and add it into the original Sun Yat-sen article.MalikFeb2010 (talk) 05:43, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

From what you have said, it is notable enough, so go ahead and add it. If you put it in the wrong place, I am sure some of the other editors of the article will help you out. Good luck.BillyJack193 (talk) 06:04, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I am going to have to disagree with the above comments. The place for the complete text of the prayer is Wikisource - the text can be posted there and linked to in the main article. Large chunks of source material like this should not be added to a Wikipedia article. – ukexpat (talk) 20:40, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have no problem putting it in Wikisource. However can you point out which category you think is appropriate? Please do consider that this is not a "religious prayer" in the strictest sense of the word. I checked Wikisource and am not sure where you would like to see it placed. Any recommendations? MalikFeb2010 (talk) 03:43, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Miaohui

Literally Temple Fair, this is a festivity common in China during the Chinese New Year. A lot of materials are already present on Chinese WP. I wonder if anyone wants to have a look and make some translations if possible. It is amazing that no article exists yet about this tradition.Btmachine333667 (talk) 09:52, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Visionlearning.com

I just created the article Visionlearning.com User:Neopropism/Visionlearning.com and would love some feedback on the tone, etc. I've tried to be as unbiased as possible, but am not sure if some of my descriptions seem too favorable.

Thanks! Neopropism (talk) 17:22, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

David Newman aka Durga Das (Chant Artist)

Hello,

I posted an article about musician David Newman a few months ago in my userspace. At that time I was advised to wait until his next album came out on the Nettwerk label since he would then meet notability requirements. That album is coming out in a few weeks so I've made a few edits and would like to get the ball rolling again. If anyone has any input, thanks in advance!

Here is the article: David Newman aka Durga Das (Chant Artist)

AmaruKR (talk) 23:07, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Having an interest in the world of chant generally, I read through the proposed article and checked for Newman and Durga Das on line. The text of the article is pretty much all based on personal websites and social media. I was unable to find a third-party source beyong the one Yoga magazine and it seems to be more pr than anything else. Until there are reviews of the albums or the studio in WP:RS, which might occur after the new album which is still in the porudction process, this appears to be a local musician/entrepreneur looking for WP publicity. I would say certainly not yet; the subject needs to have more more prominence than he has right now. If you have a careful read through Wikipedia's guidelines for notability in musicians, you will see that this individual meets none of the tests as far as I can tell. Bielle (talk) 23:22, 22 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Bielle,

Thank you for taking a look and for your feedback.

One of the guidelines for notability is "Has released two or more albums on a major label or one of the more important indie labels (i.e., an independent label with a history of more than a few years and a roster of performers, many of which are notable)" which I believe is applicable here since Newman's new album is being released through Nutone/Nettwerk, as was his last. The latest album was produced by a Grammy-award winning producer, who is also listed on WP. In addition, though chant is certainly a niche genre that will never get mainstream air time, there are other kirtan artists on WP who are also now making music through Nettwork/Nutone.

Would it help to have more review articles referenced for past albums? I did not do so since a lot of the information was repeat or strictly reviews of albums.

A few more points that might help the case: Newman has been putting albums out since 2003. In 2004 his second album was reviewed on NPR. In 2008 he was mentioned in an article called "Yoga Rock Stars" in Yoga+Joyful Living Magazine.

In any case thanks again for taking the time. I won't say the impetus for this article is devoid of promotional considerations but I have tried to make it objective and do want to respect the WP guidelines. I wouldn't submit an article if I didn't believe the person belonged here. However, if the consensus is to wait, I will.

Best,

AmaruKR (talk) 16:59, 24 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I appreciate your work and your interest, AmaruKR. However, I am still not seeing notable here as WP defines it for musicians; "at least" ia an absolute minimum standard. If there is some press in a major publication about the person, that might be helpful; the Yoga magazine is more pr than news, I think, and so is much of the writing still. As for the albums, if they get significant coverage, they might warrant an article with a paragraph on the musician, but I am not even seeing the grounds for that yet. This is just my opinion. Others' opinions are welcome. Bielle (talk) 17:05, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Anybody else care to weigh in? Advice on how to proceed is welcome. Thx,

AmaruKR (talk) 23:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

VertiKa

I started the page VertiKa and revised it after first review and seek another. --Ewikiwriter (talk) 13:07, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Just read through your article, and I think it's pretty good. There's plenty of references and reliable sources in there, and the structure makes it really easy for me to read and find out the important information. However, I would say with the 'history' section that you could perhaps put the dates in bold and separate the sections a bit more. Apart from that, I think it's a really well written article! Please ask if you require any more opinions on the article. Chevymontecarlo (talk) 16:18, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Edgar Blazona

Edgar Blazona Hello, I welcome all feedback on this new article I created. Please let me know where and how I can improve. Thanks! Taramelinchuk (talk) 18:09, 23 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Kathryn Wallace

Kathryn Wallace is an American film and print journalist. Please review and let me know if this person is notable enough and what else I might need to move to mainspace. Link to article is here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Joeistaller/Kathryn_Wallace

Joeistaller (talk) 01:06, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not a bad start, although I would suggest a review of the external links and the in-text links. Also, the "Inside Guantanamo" section does not appear to be entirely relevant. -Reconsider! 01:32, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Gamma Phi

Was hoping to get some feedback on my new article, Gamma Phi. This is my first article to write, and while the information is all from the same source, the purpose was to consolidate a lot of information into one relatively small article. No rush on the review, but I'd be glad to have it looked over, especially for any violations or other potential warnings.

To whomever reviews this--thanks in advance for your time. :-) --Warbirdadmiral (talk) 05:23, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The single source is a problem - it is a self-reference and therefore cannot be used to demonstrate notability per WP:ORG. What you need to find are multiple non-trivial references in reliable sources. I have added a couple of maintenance tags to this effect. – ukexpat (talk) 04:04, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately, due to the short time of existence, and the age of the organization (members long since deceased), this is probably the only notable source, other than maybe a yearbook or two (which are referenced in the source). Indeed, it may not qualify for notability, but this is likely the only significant source to the page. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Warbirdadmiral (talk • contribs) 21:21, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please check this article for publication

Jo Hamilton (musician)

Hello

I have comprehensively referenced this article, as well as adding a photograph of the artist.

I need the thumbnail to be accepted as I have reduced its size considerably.

Please contact me regarding this

Thanks

Shelley Atkinson ^{[details removed]} —Preceding unsigned comment added by Artsdeville (talk • contribs) 16:18, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dice.com

Hello, I just created an article for Dice.com. Dice is the leading IT recruiter in the United States and has also provided industry reports that have been published by Reuters. The article is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Athard/dice.com. Please look at it and let me know if this is good enough for Wikipedia. Thank you.

Athard (talk) 18:47, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jordanmakesmusic/Faces_On_Film

I made a page for the band Faces on Film. Since it's my first page, general feedback would be appreciated. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jordanmakesmusic (talk • contribs) 21:45, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Jim Lord, Singer/songwriter

Jim Lord, Singer/songwriter Jim Lord, singer/songwriter requesting feedback on article. Lord is considered by many to be "one of the best artists you hear little about" (source: CHIC Magazine, Music Notes, January 1983 Issue, P.9). He was a singer/songwriter in the 70's/80's, influenced by the British folk scene, recorded a couple of successful albums but changed career tracks in the mid-80's to pursue a career in photojournalism, where he was a very successful, award winning, wartime photojournalist particularly known for his work in Nicaragua and Guatemala during the civil wars in those areas on the 1980s (the information on his photojournalism career is NOT included in his musicians bio page, but for your edification). Lord returned to his singer/songwriter roots in early 2000's and is currently working on an album, scheduled for release later in 2010.

Thanks for taking time to review Lord's singer/songwriter bio.

Jdlongshot2 (talk) 18:21, 27 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Joey Allcorn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dr._Magnifico/Joey_Allcorn

Page for indie alt-country artist Joey Allcorn, singer/songwriter from Columbus, GA who's collaborators include Hank III, Don Helms, Lloyd Green and Johnny Hiland. This is my first attempt at Wikipedia authoring; let me know what you think. Thanks,

Dr. Magnifico (talk) 21:54, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Village Roots Garden

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration. I've just completed my 1st Wikipedia aricle ever, on community gardening at User:VitusKonter/VillageRoots. Please let me know how it looks. VitusKonter (talk) 07:27, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It looks really well done, nice organization nice pictures, nice layout, so it pains me to report that it may not meet the Notability requirements. I hope it does, but you should search for more examples of coverage in reliable sources.--SPhilbrick T 16:14, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I've added a few more citations, and hope to add more in the next week to help establish notability. VitusKonter (talk) 06:51, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

If it doesn't meet notability, see esp WP:LOCAL, then perhaps it should added to the Bay View, Milwaukee article. Nuujinn (talk) 20:50, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've already done several edits and added 3 new sections to the Bay View, Milwaukee article (and I plan on adding more), but I think that the Village Roots article is too large to be included within the Bay View article. VitusKonter (talk) 06:51, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nope, not even in "the other East Side" is this notable. --Orange Mike | Talk 02:38, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:NotableCheckertools/Sarey (singer)

How can i improve this article any help? Feel welcome to change the article to improve the quality. (NotableCheckertools (talk) 19:15, 28 February 2010 (UTC))[reply]

/User:Wikiwhackjack/KSM_Guitars

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Wikiwhackjack/KSM_Guitars

User:Wikiwhackjack/KSM_Guitars

I would like to publish this article and would like to know if there are any reasons that it would be denied.

Wikiwhackjack (talk) 20:53, 28 February 2010 (UTC) Chris Lott, 2/28/10[reply]

You haven't established why these guitars are Notable. You need to show that they are discussed in multiple reliable sources. So far, you have zero sources.

It will help (but not be sufficient) to show that notable musicians use the guitar. While you have listed two, you've haven't cited any references to verify that they do own the guitars.--SPhilbrick T 23:47, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Smoked Bear

Please provide feedback on a short article describing a public education campaign called Smoked Bear. Once I find the text or an MP3 of the radio spot(s) mentioned in the article, I will also include them on the article page.

Thanks in advance for any reviews. TnCom (talk) 04:59, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You linked to one article about the campaign, but I've found no other mention of the campaign, so I'm worried that it would not survive a proposal to delete on the basis of lack of Notability. Are there other discussions of this campaign in reliable sources?

Please do not copy the entire text of the campaign, as it is almost certainly a violation of Copyright. You may be able to use excerpts, but even that has to be done with care. An MP3 of the campaign is also almost certainly a copyright violation. You are free to investigate getting permission, but let's see if you can satisfactorily establish Notability first.

Sorry I can't be more positive.--SPhilbrick T 00:29, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I agree with SPhilbrick, I only found the one reference on google. It sounds like this is the personal mission of one indvidual at this point. Nuujinn (talk) 00:34, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the feed back SPhilbrick and Nuujinn. I was able to find another source and put it in the reference section. I will also try to find where the campaign is posted and provide a link there instead of posting the text or the MP3 TnCom (talk) 05:08, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sven Windahl

Hi, Just created a page on Swedish professor of communications Sven Windahl. This is my first Wikipedia article, so I hope someone out there will be able and willing to provide some constructive feedback.

Brainfu (talk) 10:32, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry, but I'm just not sure he's really notable--it seems like he has the normal credentials for an active academician, but nothing out of the ordinary or of particular notablity. This isn't a criticism of him or his work, there are very many people who do valuable and significant work who aren't notable. Nuujinn (talk) 16:03, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

FANTASTIC MAN magazine

Hello I created an article for Fantastic Man magazine last week and it does not seem to be live yet. I suppose it still needs feedback. I'm having a hard time with the whole Wikipedia submission process -- it is very convoluted if you ask me -- but from what I can tell, my article still needs to be reviewed. I'm eager to get it live so if someone can help me out, I would really appreciate it...

Thanks!

Matthew Stewart Matty stewart (talk) 12:54, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is live as Fantastic Man (magazine). I made some minor edits. When you reference a website you need to provide a brief title for the website, not just a link. See what I did with the New York Times reference. Anyway, a good start and OK as a stub article. Itsmejudith (talk) 13:58, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alex Hibbert

User:TinTin7/New article name here

hiding draft text

Hello,

Below is the updated version of Alex Hibbert's wikipedia page. I would much appreciate some feedback and hope all is adequate before it goes live. Thank you very much!

Alex Hibbert is a polar expedition leader, outdoor photographer, athlete and zoologist. In 2008 he broke the record, along with his teammate George Bullard, for the longest unsupported polar expedition in history. At 21 years old Alex led the 1374 mile, over 113 day Tiso Trans-Greenland Expedition.

Alex Hibbert wrote the story of his expedition in his book The Long Haul which will be published by Tricorn Books on March 15th, 2010. [edit] References

<http://www.tricornbooks.co.uk/menu-reviews}

<http://www.londonspeakerbureau.co.uk/alex_hibbert.aspx]

<http://www.wideworldmag.co.uk/features/alex-hibbert-s-polar-expeditions} [edit] External links

[www.alexhibbert.com ]

TinTin7 (talk) 13:15, 1 March 2010 (UTC)March 1st, 2010[reply]

Claire Buchar

I would appreciate any feedback on the following article

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claire_Buchar

Many thanks —Preceding unsigned comment added by TinaEPO (talk • contribs) 15:09, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A couple of things to consider:

You need to have a lede.
The first paragraph is not a paragraph, just a series of sentences. You should try to rework that into a narrative paragraph. Have a go at that and drop me a note on my talk page if you need some help.
You refer to the subject of the article by her first name, this comes across as familiar and that suggests a particular point of view. My suggestion would be to use her surname.
The article really needs a better set of references, I've put a few for consideration below (using google's news search in the archives is a good way to find references). You need a reference, for example, for her marriage.
I think if you could both provide some more general biographical data and also try to place her in her professional context (rather than just listed races she's won), that would also help.

http://www.torontosun.com/sports/othersports/2009/09/07/10775296-sun.html

http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/australian-mountain-bike-national-championships-cn/downhill-elite-women/results

I realize this may seem like a long list of things to work on, so please contact me on my talk page if you feel daunted or need help. You have made a good start, and this can be a very good article if you keep at it. Nuujinn (talk) 15:56, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks Nuujinn, I have made some edits and would appreciate additional feedback TinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)TinaEPOTinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Tjarrett/Veracode

(Also posted on the New Contributors' Help Page, where they suggested I post here.)

I am an experienced editor with a conflict of interest on an article in my userspace--the article is about my employer. I have made a few passes through it for peacock terms etc and have done my best to establish notability, but would appreciate new eyes on the article to help me weed out any other issues. I'd like to request a review of the article to see if it can be moved to the main article namespace. -Tjarrett (talk) 17:12, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, there does appear to be a conflict of interest problem, but I'm sure we all appreciate your honesty. I think you can establish notability given that you have a handful of sources not directly associated with the firm. I'd suggest dropping the references that come from the veracode website, regardless of the original source, and see what else you can find out and about on the net. Nuujinn (talk) 00:16, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Nuujinn. Am going to go through and remove the references that point to Veracode.com and source from other locations, and see what else can be done to bring in external points of reference. -Tjarrett (talk) 18:04, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay. Citations that previously pointed at Veracode.com now point to appropriate conference websites (for research presentations) or the referenced content has been deleted from the article. I also added content from two articles about the company in the offerings section. Could you take another look and see if there are other areas of concern I should address? -Tjarrett (talk) 20:10, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's better, but it's still pretty promotional. Someone else should probably take a look, tho, I work in IT, and my POV is a bit slanted. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nuujinn (talk • contribs) 15:41, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK. Posting second request for review below, then. Could I get one more reviewer to take a look at User:Tjarrett/Veracode? I am keen to find any more specific areas that need to be addressed for bias. -Tjarrett (talk) 19:10, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

PeerPong

Please give a general review of newly posted PeerPong Wiki entry. I am looking for ways to improve it.

Thank You! Lforrest11 (talk) 19:20, 1 March 2010 (UTC)Laura Forrest 3/1/2010[reply]

The big problem here is notability - as the site is still in private beta it is most unlikely to meet the notability guidelines at WP:WEB nor does the company appear to meet the guidelines at WP:CORP. The website/company may meet the guidelines at some time in the future, but they do not at the moment. I have tagged the article for speedy deletion. Sorry. – ukexpat (talk) 18:53, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Jack Garson

If anyone could review the above article it would be greatly appreciated!!

Jack Garson (born December 19, 1960) is the founder of Garson Claxton LLC and leads the firm’s business and real estate practice groups. Jack serves as a legal advisor for numerous local, regional and national companies, focusing on business transactions, commercial real estate, commercial leasing, and construction law. He is also a US author of How to Build a Business and Sell It for Millions published by St. Martin’s Press in March 2010.

Thanks!

MegOTMM (talk) 22:06, 1 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Eriktb/Ala Moana Bowls

Hello, this is my first wikipedia entry. Please give me feedback. Eriktb (talk) 03:40, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's a pretty good start. The first thing I'd suggest is cleaning up the citations, see WP:CS for exmples--you might start with the basic footnote examples. If you have any questions or problems, drop me a note on my talk page. Nuujinn (talk) 15:35, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tongal

User:Fightonfortroy/Tongal

This article is about the crowdsourcing company Tongal. I'd appreciate any constructive criticism. Thanks for the help.

Fightonfortroy (talk) 04:03, 2 March 2010 (UTC)Fightonfortroy[reply]

Edward W. Estlow

Hello, please review [W. Estlow] for inclusion LSClark (talk) 07:56, 2 March 2010 (UTC)LSClark March 2, 2010[reply]

It's coming along nicely. In the headings, only capitalize the first word. The Manual of style helps with such things. Make sure you refer to the subject as "Estlow" throughout; avoid chatty phrasing like "Ed and his wife". Don't include the names of his children unless any of them are notable in their own right. Include links to relevant firms and institutions, especially University of Denver, on first mention. When you say "internal university documentation", that may be all right, but we prefer to use sources that other people can check. If you are referring to university web pages, give the URLs. Itsmejudith (talk) 12:41, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Portland (communications)

Dear All,

I would greatly appreciate it if someone could review this article have written on a PR company. Not the most interesting I know, but the consultancy has links to a fair few British politicians so I think it is of notable interest.

Many Thanks. --Adam Wildman (talk) 09:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure the company meets notability requirements, since it appears that the sources cited focus mostly on the people rather than the corporation. See WP:CORP for some more detail. Nuujinn (talk) 23:24, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi,

Thanks for taking the time to to back to me so quickly. In regards your comments, do you mean that the article needs re-wording, i.e. having quotes/references directly refering the company itself. What I'm asking is, will re-wording the article save it from deletion?

Thanks again. --Adam Wildman (talk) 11:31, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I can't say what will or won't save an article from deletion, since I'm not really involved in that part of the process at this point. I will say I think that if you move the article into your user space and work on it some more there, it's got a better chance of lasting longer. And yes, what I take from the article in it's current state is here's a PR firm seeking PR on the basis of the fame of the people who are associated with them. Wikipedia isn't about promotion, and while it seems that some of these individuals are themselves notable, I'm not seeing any evidence that the firm is. Nuujinn (talk) 00:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Robert "Bob" Olszewski, Miniature Figurative Artist (Born: May 2, 1945 - )

User:ROlszewski/Robert Olszewski —Preceding unsigned comment added by ROlszewski (talk • contribs) 15:30, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This appears (based on your user name) to be an autobiography. Creating an autobiography is strongly discouraged as it is hard to write about yourself from a neutral point of view. The draft is very promotional/non-neutral/unencyclopedic in tone and will need a lot of toning down and rewriting before it can be moved to the mainspace. It will also need more references to reliable sources to demonstrate notability per WP:CREATIVE. If you are the subject, I would suggest that you abandon the draft but ask for it to be created by posting at articles for creation. – ukexpat (talk) 18:32, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Shameless autobiographical spam; nothing of merit, nothing salvageable. --Orange Mike | Talk 01:23, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I concur with ukexpat and Orange Mike that this is not appropriate for WP. However, it is quite extensive, and shows evidence of a lot of work; it would be a shame to lose it. There is another site which accepts bios, without the NPOV requirement, but I've forgotten the name of it. Can someone remind me, so that Bob might move this work to a better venue?--SPhilbrick T 14:24, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Poking around, I found two options: Biographicon, WikiBios --SPhilbrick T 14:39, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Montana Justice Foundation

I have recently updated the Montana Justice Foundation page to include links on and to the page. I am hoping for someone to review the article again with these changes in place.

The Montana Justice Foundation is a non for profit organizations that uses IOLTA funds and donations to fund legal aid initiatives around Montana.

Lauren Asprooth (Lauren Asprooth 16:53, 2 March 2010 (UTC)) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Laurenasprooth (talk • contribs)

Before we worry about links, there is a more serious problem. The article needs citations to reliable sources that demonstrate how or why the organization is notable per the guidance at WP:ORG. Without such references, the article is destined to be nominated for deletion. References to the Foundation's website do not qualify as reliable to show notability. There are some formatting issues too: please take a look at {{Infobox non-profit}} to see how to use infobox code correctly; the tables for the executives and directors are not necessary, bulleted lists will do. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

International League of Conservation Writers

User:PattyMaher/International League of Conservation Writers

PattyMaher (talk) 22:38, 2 March 2010 (UTC)Patty Maher[reply]

Music_Teachers_Association_of_California

Hi, I would like feedback on my article about the Music Teachers' Association of California, MTAC, at User:Lowellwebster/Music Teachers Association of California. My article is very similar to the article MTNA. When my page is accepted, then a new entry needs to be made in the MTAC disambiguation page. Thanks, Lowellwebster (talk) 22:40, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please read the notability guidelines for organizations set out at WP:ORG - at the moment the draft has no references to reliable sources that demonstrate the notability of the subject. Note that the org's own website is not a reliable sources for establishing notability - significant coverage in third party sources is required. Hope this helps. (The same comments apply to MTNA and I have tagged it accordingly - I am surprised that it has survived for so long without references.) – ukexpat (talk) 16:59, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ramekin Counterpane

Thanks for reviewing my new article on Ramekin Counterpane, the '70s art-rock band from the Southern California desert.

I appreciate your help.

Rememberthe60s (talk) 02:21, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Saying that the band's popularity is comparable to 10cc does not reflect reality. You should have another look at this statement. Also, the quote needs attribution.

Brhodewalt (talk) 03:06, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The fact that this band has no mention at Allmusic, instantly suggests to me that they are not notable. Please read the guidelines - they may save you much time and effort.

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 15:36, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Carl Moyer Program

Please give a general review of this recently posted Wiki entry. I want to make sure it is clear and that all citations are noted.

Carl Moyer Program

--Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 02:37, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As a preliminary review, right now the article is almost entirely sourced using primary sources. You need secondary sources (also called third party sources) in the article—reliable newspaper articles, documentaries, books, magazine articles—written by people unaffiliated with the program. This type of subject is necessarily going to have to rely to some extent on primary source material but it should not rely on them entirely. Because of the way it's written, it reads like a brochure. When the subject of an article is a person or a company and it reads like this the impression is much worse because promotional on such subjects smacks of self-aggrandizement, whereas this is a government program—but it still sounds like ad-copy. We strive for neutrally written, balanced articles, giving voice to positive and negative criticism where appropriate. I also imagine you have a conflict of interest; that you are in some way personally involved with this topic, which makes writing a balanced article not only difficult, but usually it is not something the writer wants to do. Right now I could see it being nominated for deletion as promotion.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 03:58, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, Requests for feedback. You have new messages at Fuhghettaboutit's talk page.
You can remove this notice at any time by removing the {{Talkback}} or {{Tb}} template.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll get on this right away to address the citation and neutrality issues! Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 18:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Real Estate Investment Securities Association (REISA)

This is original information about a real estate industry trade group. There are currently about 30 of these type of groups listed in Wikipedia, but nothing on REISA. Errors pop up related to the references and am not experienced enough to resolve it. I tried to be neutral and only state the facts. Help me to not make this an advertisement, but an informative piece on what the association is about.

(Investmentconnector (talk) 05:47, 3 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

It's not bad at all. It will be better if you take out a lot of the detail, because that is what makes it read like an advertisement or corporate website. For example, it isn't appropriate to have the full postal address; the city is sufficient. The article could be about half the length. If there is any discussion of the association in independent sources, for example trade press, that should be added. Itsmejudith (talk) 16:46, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Organizational Behavior And Leadership During A Political Revolution

To Whom This May Concern,

Hello, this is my first real contribution to Wikipedia. Please feel free to edit this so it meets the encyclopedia standard, or help teach me so I can do this myself.

Thanks! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Robsmyth40 (talk • contribs) 07:23, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I will see if I can provide some helpful points. First off, this article indeed reads a lot like an essay - and needs to be re-written in encyclopedic style. Also, please look at incorporating good inline citations (see here), and add a good introduction that properly summarizes the entire article - with a short succinct statement that truly defines what is meant by "Organizational Behavior And Leadership During A Political Revolution", and that this can be considered a truly encyclopedic article. Jwoodger (talk) 02:18, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hamilton Bradshaw

The Wikipedia page Hamilton Bradshaw was recently created. Much thanks to the help that has been provided by my peers editing the page. However, as can be noted when viewing the page, there is still work to be done. Specifically, I need help removing the "advert" designation at the top of the page. It was added when the page was more biased than it is now, but I think almost all of the bias has been eliminated. Can someone please review the page and help me to make it sound completely neutral? I would really like to get the "advert" designation removed.

Additionally, to get the page legitimized, the page states that "This page is a new unreviewed article." I would like for a verified Wikipedian to review the site and remove this designation when reviewed. I would love for the site to be legitimized. Thanks for your time.

CodyJDick (talk) 11:17, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think this one needs a lot of work on the tone, it's still very promotional. For example, these phrases are very far from a neutral point of view:

However, Caan isn't the only human capital asset that Hamilton Bradshaw touts. Because Caan is often away from the office, between filming Dragons' Den, interviewing on major news and talk shows, and huminitarian and philanthropic projects, the company has many other staff.

Also, I think you should eliminate pretty much all of the material that comes directly from HB's web site and promotional materials. You have some good references, but they are overshadowed by the promotional material, and I'm not sure that what you have established notability.Nuujinn (talk) 15:21, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Head Cut (Stream Geomorphology)

Would appreciate a review of my first article about a geomorphological feature I encountered on a recent field visit. I was calling this feature a small waterfall in the field but I assumed there was a better name for it. Thus I found info on a head cut from the North Carolina Dept of Water Quality and summed up what I learned in this article.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submerged-arc_furnace_for_phosphorus_production

To whom it may concern

Very little is found in Wikipedia on submerged-arc furnaces. Submerged-arc furnaces is a very important subset of electrical arc furnaces and should have a rightful place on such a great website. This article deals with the production of phosphorus by using such a furnace.

I hope you find this a good first step Regards Emile —Preceding unsigned comment added by Emilescheepers444 (talk • contribs) 16:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's a very good start, but I think you need more references. It's best if every assertion made in an article can be supported by an external and reliable source. I think you should be able to find some more with just a little work, but drop me a note on my talk page if you get stuck. Nuujinn (talk) 21:17, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Electro Thermal Dynamic Stripping Process

Can someone please review my article?

Thanks!

174.0.65.21 (talk) 17:22, 3 March 2010 (UTC)Phil mc2 2010/03/03[reply]

I am afraid that I have tagged the article for speedily deletion as spam - it appears to be an advertisement and how-to for the process masquerading as an article. – ukexpat (talk) 16:50, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ski Utah

Hello- I am trying to create an article on the history of skiing in Utah. This is the first draft User:Jkunzer/Ski Utah. The article discusses the history and development of skiing in Utah and the state's 13 resorts. I would really appreciate any feedback.

Jkunzer (talk) 22:32, 3 March 2010 (UTC) Jessica Kunzer 03/03/10[reply]

At the moment the draft is far too promotional in tone and would be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. Some of it is written in the first person which may indicate that you are connected with the organization - if so, you have a conflict of interest and should not be creating the article. Final point for now, the draft has no references to reliable sources to demonstrate that the subject meets the notability guidelines set out at WP:ORG. – ukexpat (talk) 16:45, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Maclau/Cecilia López Montaño

I would really appreciate a ny reviews on the Senator's page in english. She already has one in Spanish but given the nature of her international work, she feels it would be helpfull to have an official version in this language.

Thank you,

MC —Preceding unsigned comment added by Maclau (talk • contribs) 22:47, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I’m afraid this is not suitable to go live at present, firstly because it does not comply with Wikipedia’s policy on neutral point of view. The layout is fine and some of the material is neutral and factual, but in parts it reads like a promotional piece written by the senator herself or a press officer, and contains a number of peacock terms and value judgements: (“... a tireless and determined writer” “... effective and strong political control” “...her most outstanding work is ...” “...solid professional background that keeps growing every day”). These all need to be removed or rewritten in a neutral tone, as does the comment about “the government’s inefficient management of the financial crisis” which is political bias. If you are writing this on behalf of Ms. Lopez, you should read Wikipedia:Conflict of interest carefully before proceeding further. If you do go ahead, the second sentence in the lead section would be better as the first sentence, stating exactly what Ms Lopez does before anything else. Most crucially of all, this article is completely unreferenced and has no citations at all for any of the information in it. You need to find reliable third-party sources and cite these correctly - see Wikipedia: Citing sources. The two links to Ms Lopez’s websites are currently embedded in the text; they should be removed to an external links section at the end.

I am slightly concerned by your reference to an “official” version in English. Please bear in mind that if this article goes live it is in no sense an official work: you will not own it and nor will Ms Lopez. Anyone can and will edit it, and you will have no right to keep your own preferred version. It’s always worth reading through WP:LUC before making an article about a person or subject with which you are closely affiliated. Ka renjc 20:47, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Paintball

Over the last several months I have worked on Paintball quite a bit, and would be curious to see if it could be a candidate for a higher ranking (currently sitting at B ranking - and is a former good article nominee). Jwoodger (talk) 00:52, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not involved in quality assessment at all; perhaps someone who checks in here on occasion can help, but my impression is that Quality assessment of articles tends to be managed by projects. There is a Wikipedia:WikiProject Paintball; perhaps check in there (and add your name to the list of volunteers :) and you might ask one of the regulars in that project who does the assessments.--SPhilbrick T 16:45, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

James W. "Jim" Case

(Jborrego16 (talk) 06:49, 4 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

It's a well constructed, well organised and and generally well written article, though it suffers somewhat from POV language and "anecdotism" in places and should be toned down to a more neutral style. The lead section should be more specific about what the subject actually did - his notability isn't down to his university, it's down to his work as a TV production executive. I did have some anxiety about his notability at first, because there are few checkable references and those that exist don't make too strong a case for his notability, but reading through WP:N again I think he makes it on his association with pioneering programmes for public TV, and perhaps this could be emphasised more in the article. The "personal interview" cited in several places is an inadmissible piece of original research unless it's published somewhere in a neutral third party source, and it should be removed from the citations list along with any important facts that rely solely on it. Subheadings should be initial capitals only, per WP:MOS. The article title should not have both versions of his name in, and should be changed to Jim Case if that's how he was always known, or alternatively James W. Case with the first line of the lead section beginning "James W. "Jim" Case was ..." etc. Hope this helps, and thanks for writing the article. Ka renjc 11:21, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good Garage Scheme

Please could the page Good Garage Scheme be reviewed and any appropriate feedback left so I can ammend and build upon the page. I have added all appropriate sources and information to my best ability, but would appreciate any constructive criticism.

Thanks

Laurahuet (talk) 09:28, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish Notability, by showing this is discussed in third party, reliable sources. While you do have some references, all but one is to the entity itself, so do not qualify as external references. The remaining reference may not qualify, but I didn't even see the reference to the campaign.--SPhilbrick T 14:57, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Winifred Marshall Gales

I'd love to get any feedback you may have on this article on Winifred Gales. I've included all of the biography I could find, and also some external links. Thanks! NCandbeyond (talk) 13:50, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

One of the key issues to address is Notability, in particular, look at WP:AUTHOR. I don't know anything about the books this author has written, but there are books and there are books. The notability could be established by identifying reliable sources discussing either the author or the books, ideally both.--SPhilbrick T 14:49, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wylie Stateman

Wylie Stateman Wylie Stateman

Hello and thank you for taking a look at this page, especially interested to hear your thoughts since Wylie is up for an Oscar this weekend.

Best

Soundsoff (talk) 00:46, 5 March 2010 (UTC)Soundsoff[reply]

Lost Boys: Why our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them

The article in question
My first ever article so need some help. Wrote a simple introduction with external links for an important book in the comprehension of youth violence. Thanks in advance --Mbret001 (talk) 08:10, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the article itself lacks inline citations--you're providing a simple description of the work, and an external link to a review. You could improve the article by adding some inline citations for some external references that help establish why this book is notable. Nuujinn (talk) 14:59, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Project Noah

Peterhorvath (talk) 15:12, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed and added a couple of maintenance tags. The main issue is notability - I am not convinced that the references demonstrate notability per the guidelines at WP:PRODUCT. – ukexpat (talk) 16:34, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

John Russell (musician)

This is my first article. I've put quite a lot of work into it but would appreciate it if someone could review it or give some feedback. Many thanks!PressedBack (talk) 15:49, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Here's the link: John Russell (musician)PressedBack (talk) 15:52, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately the link you have provided is to the disambiguation page for John Russell. Could you try again ?

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 16:13, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A very impressive first article; congratulations. I've removed the unreviewed tag. If I had a (very) minor quibble it would be the reference to events being "ongoing" as this type of material tends to date. Other than that, nice work. Ka renjc 18:46, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, thanks! I take your point about "ongoing" and will find a way to ammend that. --PressedBack (talk) 22:38, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Employer Branding and Employer Brand Management

User:R W Mosley/Employer branding and Employer brand management

(R W Mosley (talk) 18:20, 5 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

I have taken a look and made some formatting fixes to the headings to comply with the manual of style. The subject would appear to be notable. A couple of points - please take a look at WP:LEAD for an explanation of what the lead section should do. At the moment it is not at all clear from the lead what the subject actually is/means. Also there is some jargon in the article which may not be immediately comprehensible to the layman reader. When it is ready to move to the mainspace, I think Employer branding would be the correct title. You have plenty of references, which is good. If any of them are online, please use the {{cite web}} template to cite them, and similarly {{cite book}} for citations from books and {{cite journal}} for journals. There is also a technique for using the same reference more than once and that's explained at WP:NAMEDREFS. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 18:35, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Rangertee/75th_Ranger_Regiment_Association,_Inc.

Hi.

I am looking for feedback on my first article. The Article is: User:Rangertee/75th_Ranger_Regiment_Association,_Inc.

I have tried to read the help articles and guidelines thoroughly, and would appreciate some feedback. I have permission to reproduce the material contained in the article, and have footnoted all the information in the article itself.

The wikilink to the article is:

User:Rangertee/75th_Ranger_Regiment_Association,_Inc.

Thank you, in advance, for your time.

Rangertee (talk) 20:13, 5 March 2010 (UTC)Rangertee. March 5, 2010: 3:07p.m.EST (GMT-5:00)[reply]

Entries in "See Also" should not be full links but Wikilinks. I fixed the first two for you.
Please read Article Layout, as your layout does not match the desired layout.
Links in External Links should not be the same ones as in References.
You have a Notes section with some references, but a separate Reference section with others. The second section is not how references are done. See footnotes
In many cases, you've linked to a term in WP, but used the full url, not just the Wikilink. I fixed the ones in your lede, as examples.
Most importantly, you said you obtained permission to use material. This is a tricky and serious area. Sometimes, people will give permission to use material as long as it is used in Wikipedia only. That type of permission is not sufficient, and people need to understand that once in Wikipedia, it can be used elsewhere, for many purposes include for profit and for parody. You need to have permission sent to Wikipedia, in proper format. See WP:COPYRIGHT for general info, and WP:PERMISSION for specific steps to ensure that proper permission is obtained. Sorry for the bureaucracy, but copyright is taken very seriously and we want to make sure we do it right.--SPhilbrick T 15:45, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ideatree

IdeaTree

Looking for general correctness. Thanks.

Ronman57 (talk) 21:09, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish Notability, by showing this is discussed in third party, reliable sources. While you do have one reference, you need more. --SPhilbrick T 15:28, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them

Would like to request feedback for the revisions I have made for my page. Page link. Thanks in advance for your time. It is much appreciated.--Mbret001 (talk) 21:34, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dimitri "Mobengo" Mugianis

dimitri "mobengo" Mugianis —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bovenga (talk • contribs) 21:37, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Denver Depression of 1893

Denver Depression of 1893 I would just like to have my article reviewed to make sure things are in order for a wikipedia entry.

MichelaA (talk) 21:57, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think "bimetallism" should be capitalized. I changed it.
I made a few other minor fixes, you can click on history to see what I did (ask if you need more help on how to see historical changes).
I'm not enamored with "disestablished" as a word choice under causes. What about "repealed" (assuming it was repealed)?
You have some phrases indented with a bullet point for no obvious reason, e.g "Owned by Reverend Thomas Uzzell".
Your opening sentence of "Effects" could use a more specific time frame.
The next sentence is too long, consider changing July to "in July and ending the sentence there.
The sentence that starts "Many unemployed miners.." needs work—it starts fine, but ends awkwardly.
The sentence starting "August 11, 1893" shouldn't start with a bare date; work it into the text. The end of that sentence is awkward; I can guess what it means, but it needs improvement.
After footnote 12, you should have text that flows, not bullet point type items in text.
In the last sentence before Politics, this should not be a bulleted. What does "this" refer to? "broadway" shows are in New York. I assume you mean something like theatrical productions.
In People, I presume all of these people are dead, so it is odd to see the death date for one of the people. I suggest removing it.
"Only saved from destitution in 1898 by his appointment to Postmaster." Is not a sentence.
Despite this longish list, everything I've mentioned is easy to fix, but give it a good run through to see if other wording needs tightening up. --SPhilbrick T 23:00, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

External links are for links not in references, so I removed the external link.--SPhilbrick T 23:03, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Joey_Babbitt/Cornerstone_Church_of_San_Diego

Cornerstone Church of San Diego

I'm working on an article about a local church, Cornerstone Church of San Diego. It has gained notoriety lately since it was named the 3rd fastest growing church in America by Outreach Magazine. The pastor also has the service broadcasted on a local Christian radio station, KPRZ, on Sunday morning. Looking at other churches in Wikipedia, I believe this church merits inclusion. Am I correct? Joey Babbitt (talk) 02:21, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I see that you have now moved it to the mainspace. I have reviewed it and removed the tag. – ukexpat (talk) 18:11, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Bexhill Amateur Theatrical Society

Bexhill Amateur Theatrical Society Bradburp (talk) 09:37, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please read Article Layout, your article structure isn't in the form desired. You'll also need to establish Notability by providing references to reliable sources.--SPhilbrick T 13:13, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Publishing Article

Hello - can you please let me know why my article isn't posting? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mbeaudreault/Mercator_Risk_Services

THanks,

Maura —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mbeaudreault (talk • contribs) 12:20, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

By "posted" I assume you mean you want it to show up if someone does a search for it. That won't happen until it is moved into mainspace, but that shouldn't happen until it is ready.

Sorry to be blunt, but it reads like a advertisement, not an encyclopedia article. See WP:PROMO.

You haven't established why this company has Notability. I'm sure it will meet the standard; I'm familiar with the company, but you need to establish it by providing references to reliable sources. References can be tricky for new editors, see WP:CITE and footnotes for help.--SPhilbrick T 13:10, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alan Loveday

Dear Wiki Editor

Please review my article on the violinist Alan Loveday Alan Loveday Flying spiccato (talk) 15:19, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You have no references to reliable sources. The format is not appropriate for Wikipedia, see Article Layout for some guidance. The style of writing is not encyclopedic; check other articles on other violinists to see the difference.--SPhilbrick T 16:32, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

article name Mark W. Moffett

Dear Philbrick?, thanks for the comments. I fear this is just too tricky for me as I struggle to earn a living and meditate. I could not even figure out how to send you a message, or to remove this humble first effort. Perhaps I will try again this summer. Please email me at ordman@beloit.edu if you don't mind me contacting you directly via email. Thanks. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rocordman (talk • contribs) 13:33, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I cannot figure how to do the wikilink - here's the URL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_feedback#Mark_W._Moffett_New_page_to_post

He is a distinguished scholar of sociobiology, top photographer/writer for National Geographic, runs a research station in the Amazon Rain Forest canopy, etc. I have posted a draft for comments. I responded to a previous comment and added many more references. I would like to add a photograph but I do not know how. I would like to post it a week from now depending on comments. You can email me at <redacted>. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rocordman (talk • contribs) 15:45, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Check out WP:Article wizard 2.0. It will help you start the process, including the steps to create your draft in a user subpage. --SPhilbrick T 16:38, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's good that you have found some references, however the structure is not appropriate for Wikipedia, see Article Layout for some guidance.--SPhilbrick T 16:41, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Article named Virtual disk image

I will appreciate a review of the technical article virtual disk image

Categories: Virtual machines | Virtualization software | Hypervisor | Computer Storage | Computer File Systems

Thanks (Barnet.Herts (talk) 23:53, 7 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

I took an admittedly quick look through, and it seems fine to me. I'll take another look later once my head cold clears up, but that seems like a very useful article for sysadmins. Nuujinn (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Trozzolo Communications Group

User:Moraqjo/Trozzolo Communications Group

Please review the userpage for Trozzolo Communications Group Moraqjo (talk) 02:17, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment the subject does not appear to be notable per the guidelines set out at WP:CORP - you will have to cite significant coverage in reliable sources to establish notability, minor coverage in a local newspaper doesn't cut it I am afraid. – ukexpat (talk) 18:02, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Abraham Lincoln Institute

I am working on my first article, an entry on an organization I am a part of named the User:Gleidner/Abraham Lincoln Institute. It is in my userspace and I believe it is close to ready (although I would like to make the institute's website a little more prominent than it is now--as a reference) but would appreciate feedback. I received some kind help from Wifione a few hours ago. Many thanks.

Gleidner (talk) 08:45, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have not looked at your potential new article, but your comment of "an organization I am a part of" immediately brings to mind Wikipedia:Conflict of interest. You may already be aware of this guidance, but if not, it is well worth a look.

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 09:07, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

In addition to the above, please take a look at the notability guidelines for organizations set out at WP:ORG. To demonstrate the notability of the subject, you will have to cite significant coverage in reliable sources - the organization's website is not considered reliable for establishing notability. – ukexpat (talk) 17:55, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Since nothing has happened to your draft after the posts above, I suppose you have been effectively discouraged from editing it. For my part, I find the draft useful and would regret if your effort was in vain. It appears NPOV and uncontroversial; the problem is that notability isn't demonstrated. Maybe a solution could be that you correct these faults and then somebody uninvolved creates the article based on your draft (and other material, if they see fit)? --Jonund (talk) 17:33, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ryoji Ikeda

User:Formaartsandmedia Has deleted a photograph from the Ryoji Ikeda article saying that "I've remomed Ryoji's photograph as he does not allow his photo to be taken and/or used for publicity or media purposes." "We are pursuing the user directly in regards to this. Please do not re-upload this image." The photograph would appear to have the correct creative commons license. what are anyones thoughts? Teapotgeorge^Talk 18:01, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The removal of the image has been reverted and the user blocked. Not much more to be said really. – ukexpat (talk) 21:25, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

French Bull LLC Latest Draft

Looking for feedback on this latest French Bull Draft, thank you so much for your help http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:161e61 161e61 3/8/2010161e61 (talk) 21:30, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Two major problems as indicated by the tags: the company does not appear to be notable per the guidelines at WP:CORP; second, it needs much better sourcing to support notability, see WP:RS. – ukexpat (talk) 21:52, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Countess Free Church Ely

I have recently created and published a page on the Countess Free Church Ely and would like someone to review it and give their views on it. I am planning to take a picture of the church and add that to the article.

Xabbzziieex (talk) 08:51, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This article is well organised and clear, but it is not currently an encyclopaedia entry. It tells us little or nothing about the church itself, but reads like an information brochure advertising the minutiae of the various activities on offer. Details of session times and charges for youth clubs and the like are not really appropriate here - they are more suited to the church's own website than to an encyclopaedia article, and I would suggest that info of this type be condensed to a brief general summary, and info about the church itself be expanded to replace it. All or almost all the references are to the church's own website, which is not a reliable independent source. The small amount of historical info included in the lead section suggests that the church probably is notable, but none of the references support that conclusion at present so some reliable third-party sources are required. The photo would be an excellent idea and I'd also add and fill in the {{Infobox church}} template. I've removed the unreviewed tag and tagged the article for general cleanup instead. Ka renjc 15:33, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your help, I will continue working on the article and try to improve it in the ways that you have suggested. I am struggling to find any good references at the moment, but will keep looking. Xabbzziieex (talk) 11:59, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Martin Tod

I am creating an article about Martin Tod who is a British politician standing for election. Although the article is not currently notable it may be after the upcoming UK general election, which is why it assumes that his election has been successful. As this is my first article I would appreciate some feedback in the hope that the article will attain notability and can be published. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Wintonian (talk • contribs) 14:52, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A little early to be counting your chickens, hmm? Even if he's elected, the usable coverage of him during and immediately after the election will change what you can write significantly, so it seems a little hasty to produce an article speculating that he might have a significant front-bench role after the election: in a couple of months you'll know either way! In any case: (1) don't call him "Martin", call him "Tod". (2) Put all your dates in the same format (day month year, not a mixture of this and month day year), and don't write "6th May 2010" but "6 May 2010". (3) I wouldn't include the political party and constituency navboxes at the foot of the article, since they don't have links (and won't have links) to Tod. Bencherlite ^Talk 21:12, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the input, I didn't relise that my dates were in diffrent formats so thats good to know, i'll remove the navboxes, I only speculated on the poss front bench role as it was in one the the sources and seemed relevent, wasn't sure weather to refere to him by first or surname, If he dosn't get elected then I'll count it as good practice and re-write it in 4/5 years :-). Thanks again I'll pop back when I've made some changes. --Wintonian (talk) 22:18, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Take out the false content now; this could be found by search engines in its current form and seriously mislead people. --Orange Mike | Talk 16:41, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Help in publishing new article on a "green energy" leader in Austin

I am posting an article, but am having trouble. The instructions say when you're ready to make it live you just click the "move" tab at the top of the page. Problem is I don't have a "move" tab visible.

So how to make my test page live?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Crboisseau/Roger_Duncan

Also, I have a photo, but I can't seem to upload it -- it's a copyright photo and I was going to give credit to the source, a local newspaper, but can't find out if this is ok to do or not.

my email is <redacted>

Thanks,

Charles Boisseau —Preceding unsigned comment added by Crboisseau (talk • contribs) 17:18, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I will take a look at the draft as soon as I can. In the meantime a standard image help message follows, but subject to a very narrow range of exceptions, copyrighted images of living people are not acceptable for use on Wikipdia:

If you want to add an existing image to an article, add [[Image:File name.jpg|thumb|Caption text.]] to the area of the article where you want the image to appear – replacing File name.jpg with the actual file name of the image, and Caption text with a short description of the image. See our picture tutorial for more information.
If you want to upload an image from your computer for use in an article, you must find out what the proper license of the image is. If you know the image is licensed under a free-license, upload it to the Wikimedia Commons instead of here, so that all projects have access to the image (sign up). If you are unsure what license the image takes, see the file upload wizard for more information. Please also read Wikipedia's image use policy. I hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 22:42, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Michelle Dartis/The Chris Gonzalez Library and Archives

User:Michelle Dartis/The Chris Gonzalez Library and Archives

I am a new contributor to Wikipedia.com. My article is about the Chris Gonzalez Library and Archives, The one and only GLBT library in Indianapolis, Indiana. It delves into the history of the library and its founder and basically how it came into existence.

At the end, I give an explanation about the namesake of the library.Michelle D. Dartis 18:03, 9 March 2010 (UTC)Michelle D. Dartis 1:00 p.m., 9 March 2010. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Michelle Dartis (talk • contribs)

I don’t have time at the moment to give this the attention it deserves, but I will come back. In the meantime, I fixed your references. See WP:Cite and WP:FOOT for more details on how to do references.SPhilbrick T 18:22, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I moved the image to the right, (per Article Layout guidelines)
I added a caption to the image, feel free to edit or remove it.
You have "Indy Pride, Inc.," in square brackets. I removed them.
I don't think "Bob and Margaret Green" should be capitalized, but I'm not sure.
"Brainchild" is arguably a WP:PEACOCK word, although it isn't in the list.
I made a few other minor changes, which you can see by looking at the edit history (if you don't know how, just ask).
I removed the reference section you created, as references are automatically generated if you add the {{reflist}} template, as I did for you
I converted the references style to Wp:LDR
We generally don't use "ibid", so I changed those references.
I want to fix Indy pride link, but later
~~You list the address at 815 Muskingham Street. Isn't it at 1112 Southeastern Ave. ? I can't find 815 Muskingham Street.~~ Indy Pride lists their location at Muskingham but they really mean Muskingum; I fixed it
Nice start, still needs a little copy editing, but looks good.--SPhilbrick T 14:15, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I also removed the initial section header, so it has a proper lede, which moves the TOC down to the usual location.--SPhilbrick T 14:26, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I added a coordinates templates, so there is a link in the upper right corner, which gives people the ability to go to a map of the location

Thanks so much for reviewing and cleaning this article up. I tried to correct the things that you did, but it was taking a long time to find the directions I needed and I simply gave up! I really all the updates and glad you were able to get to it so quickly.Michelle D. Dartis 17:13, 10 March 2010 (UTC)Michelle Dartis —Preceding unsigned comment added by Michelle Dartis (talk • contribs)

There are still problems with the tone, it does read a bit like a promotional piece and some of the language isn't encyclopedic: "proud recipient", "for generations to come", "the library's role was to keep a shining light" etc. – ukexpat (talk) 17:57, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lubov Azria

This is a new article about Lubov Azria, creative director of BCBGMAXAZRIA: User:Emmamabel/Lubov_Azria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Emmamabel/Lubov_Azria I understand from editor Orange Mike that there have been issues with this subject in the past, so he created this sandbox for me to submit an entirely new article. It hasn't been reviewed yet, and I don't want to post it on the site without ensuring it won't be deleted. I appreciate everyone's help.

Thanks! EmmaEmmamabel (talk) 18:59, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scott Cutshall

User:Herbert Blockstein/Scott Cutshall

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Herbert Blockstein (talk) 06:41, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, I made an error with the link to the article. Still learning.

Herbert Blockstein (talk) 06:42, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

We were all new here once, and it can be confusing. Stick with it, and you'll be a pro in no time. Here's a better way to link to your draft: Scott Cutshall. (Click on the edit button to see what to type.)

Actually on this page it is more helpful not to "pipe" the page link so that we can quickly determine whether the page is in mainspace or userspace. I fixed it in the request above. – ukexpat (talk) 14:36, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good point.--SPhilbrick T 14:59, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You should take a look at Article Layout, to see how the article should be organized. Sections will help, rather than just one unbroken section.
You have some references, but you need to use Wikipedia:Inline citations, so we can see that factual claims are supported by the references.
It is important to establish Notability. Perhaps some of your links do that, but addressing the point above will help us determine whether the claims of notability are established.
The rumor about the book must be cited to a reliable source or removed.--SPhilbrick T 15:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, all. Great input, and I'll start working on it very soon! Herbert Blockstein (talk) 05:13, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Citizen Schools

I've been working on a an article on the non-profit, Citizen Schools, and would like feedback request to help me improve the article.

JP (talk) 15:29, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have reviewed and made a few clean up edits. A few more references to third party sources (ie additional press coverage) would be good if you can find them. I also added some relevant categories. You should consider adding an infobox at the top of the article - {{Infobox Non-profit}} would be appropriate. Let me know if you need help with that. I have also removed the post-move redirect from your user page. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

ProductivitySuite

Hi,

I would like to request feedback for the ProductivitySuite article please.

Tsutcliffe (talk) 16:54, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to establish Notability by citing third party references in reliable sources. You have 3 references, but they are all first party.--SPhilbrick T 20:10, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Vern Monnett Article Review Request

Hi,

I'm new to this, and trying to get a review of my article (Vern Monnett).

Time allowing, would one of the editors mind giving this a review, and if you find things to be acceptable, please remove the "New Article", "Close Connection" and General Notability" tags. I'm afraid the latter two were triggered yesterday by a filter during an attempt to clean up some of my citations.

Any positive feedback would be greatly appreciated. A fuller explanation about the article is listed on my talk page.

Thank you in advance for your help!

Vern MonnettVernmonnett (talk) 18:14, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The explanation is at the talk page of the article, which is not the same as your talk page.--SPhilbrick T 20:00, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mark P. Painter

User:CincyLawyer/Mark P. Painter Painter is a former judge retired from the Ohio 1st District Court of Appeals in Hamilton County (Cincinnati). He became the first and only American elected to a brand new United Nations Appeals Tribunal last summer. Please critique this biography. Thank you. CincyLawyer (talk) 18:30, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need more references to support the claims in the article. For example, the main claim is "In March 2009, Painter became the first and only American to be elected by the United Nations General Assembly to the United Nations Appeals Tribunal", but you've cited nothing to show it is a fact.
You have a good claim for Notability "A prolific writer, he is the author of six books including The Legal Writer: 40 Rules for the Art of Legal Writing, 130 articles, and more than 400 published court opinions. He writes a monthly column on legal writing for Lawyers USA", but again, not supported by a reference. Your second reference helps, but it doesn't support the full claim.
There are other facts also needing support.
By the way, how important is the United Nations Appeals Tribunal? It sounds important, but we don't have a Wikipedia article about it. Is it discussed in some other Wikipedia article? If not, it will probably be necessary to establish the notability of that entity (it is possible we have deemed any UN organization notable, but I don't know that.)--SPhilbrick T 20:20, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the suggestions. I'm new to Wikipedia writing and editing. The UN Appeals Tribunal is the first of its kind and Mark Painter was the only American to be elected. The election results are posted on the UN's Web site, although I don't know if it explicitly says Painter was the "first and only American." The Appeals Tribunal will hear appeals from the lower (trial level) Tribunal. Both courts will deal with complaints from within the UN, mainly employment disputes, eg: sexual harassment and discrimination in the form of adverse employment actions such as termination, demotion and failure to promote. Because the Appeals Tribunal is new, the inaugural body will establish its own precedent by way of case law. (In other words, there is no existing case law so the Tribunal will write it.) The source of law used will be the UN Charter. I didn't find a Wikipedia article on the new UN Tribunals but I think there should be one because their decisions will effect all UN employees. Thank you again. I'll work on obtaining more sources. CincyLawyer (talk) 21:14, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I just looked again at the third reference, the PDF with information on the judges of the tribunal that is on the UN's Web site, and it supports the fact that Painter has more than 400 published opinions and 130 articles and is the author of six books. (He's one of the most published judges in the country.) Is the UN an acceptable source for that information? CincyLawyer (talk) 21:27, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oops, I looked at your third reference, and missed that it was two pages, so thought it was simply supporting the other members. yes, that should be a good reference. --SPhilbrick T 21:58, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Woodenships513/The_Activators

This article is about The Activators, a perofrmance group for children that promotes exercise and healthy living. I worked on the article yesterday and today, and just wanted the official go-ahead to upload it on Wikipedia.

Thank you for your help.

Woodenships513 (talk) 18:53, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

David 03/10/2010

I have made a few minor formatting and content changes, but the biggest problem is notability. At the moment the draft only has one "third party" reference, ie a reference to a secondary source not connected with the subject. To demonstrate notability per WP:ORG or WP:BAND you need to cite significant coverage in reliable sources, ie multiple sources. – ukexpat (talk) 20:43, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Rodney Alcala

Rodney Alcala My first ground-up original wiki page. Still a "Draft" page. Written (took pains to be neutral), sourced, wikilinked, infoboxed, project tagged (2 O_O)...all it's missing is a pic and a notation about that is on the talk page...and maybe a redirect for his moniker.

Caution: Bio of a living serial killer.

Is it ready to go live?

Feel free to re-post responses to my user talk page. Thanks in advance! ;) VulpineLady (talk) 00:03, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

First line hit me hard. I always try to make the first line the most meaningful, packing a lot of important information into it. Yours is too short I think. You pulled a rather vague comment by a police officer to put into the lede: "He's right up somewhere just below Hitler and right around Ted Bundy" translated to "He has been likened to notorious serial killer Ted Bundy as well as to Adolf Hitler." The Criminal History section needs to be broken up and was a bit hard to follow. Aliases section is not needed, repeated in infobox. Please format your references if you get a chance, use my SnipManager to make it easier. Looks pretty good overall, and definitely good on length. --Odie5533 (talk) 07:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Cleary University

The Cleary University article needs a bit of work and I am hoping to find some time to work on it. I am taping your expansive knowledge about university wiki pages to guide my work. ANY FEEDBACK about the existing article would be greatly appreciated. --IntensifyIt (talk) 04:19, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the infobox in the article is good, there's plenty of information in there. I don't think it's necessary to list every qualification people can get there, and the history section could be spread out or reworded slightly, although there are plenty of references in the whole article. I think it could also be expanded slightly too, there must be something about this university that is worth including in the article. Thanks for helping out. Chevymontecarlo. 13:10, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

SAA Architecure, LLC

SAA Architecture, LLC

Please review my article that was posted on Thursday March 4, 2010. Thanks!!

Wendyfables (talk) 20:02, 11 March 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables[reply]

I moved it to SAA Architecture in accordance with Wikipedia's naming conventions for companies. There are some issues as the tag indicates. I think it's a little promotional in tone - in particular the list of major projects is too long - I would list just a handful, preferably those that already have Wikipedia articles, if any (and link to them). Similarly for the awards section - trim it down to just major awards that the firm has won. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wendyfables (talk) 11:26, 15 march 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables Thankyou for the feedback - i will make the suggested changes!

(Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))I made more changes that were suggested. Can you please review again and consider removing the flags? Thank you! (Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))[reply]

(Wendyfables (talk) 16:59, 29 March 2010 (UTC) I've made additional changes to the document (cleaned up the LEED link issue) and removed several lists - please remove the flags or explain where the neutrality is compromised. Thank you in advance. Wendyfables (talk) 21:00, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Trupanion

Trupanion User:Bcopstead/Trupanion

Hello, this is my first article. Thank you for your feedback. --Bcopstead (talk) 23:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The general arrangement of the article is not bad, but the references need improvement. Press releases and interviews with people from the company are not consider independent sources, and about.com is usually not considered a reliable source. You need more news stories or other coverage in published, independent, reliable sources to establish notability. Please read our guideline on notability of corporations. And reember that not all buisness are notable.

I hope this is helpful DES ^(talk) 18:57, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Megarvt/Helen_Woodward_Animal_Center

Just created this article User:Megarvt/Helen_Woodward_Animal_Center would love feedback. Hopefully would like to move to a live article in 4 days (after 10 edits?) Thank you Megarvt (talk) 02:16, 13 March 2010 (UTC)megarvt 3/12/10[reply]

Not a bad start, but more coverage is needed in independent, reliable sources, particularly non-local sources, to more clearly establish notability. Please read our guideline on notability of organizations. A statement like "Participants have attended from 33 states and 17 locations outside the United States including Argentina, Canada, China, Egypt, Ethiopia, India, Ireland, Iran, Japan, Kenya, Mexico and Romania." should ideally be backed up with a cited source. An additional source or sources for the national scope of the program would be very useful, note that without the national scope this center would probably not be notable in any case, as purely local organizations usually are not. DES ^(talk) 19:11, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Muslim Athletes

A list of Muslim Athletes in various sports. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Environmental Lawyer (talk • contribs) 01:14, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Athletes are usually categorized according to their nationality or the area of expertise. I'm not sure if there should be list based purely on religious adherence. -Reconsider! 04:20, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Riffic/Lift to Experience and User:Riffic/The Texas-Jerusalem Crossroads

I came across these two articles that were deleted in 2008 for CSD A7 and I was sort of familiar with the subjects so I knew the notability was easy to assert with some decent references. I added two which were more easy to find with google, but I'm sure more can be added. Does anyone else think they can be moved back into main namespace so other users can find and edit these with more ease? thank you! riffic (talk) 02:34, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

An Organic Conversation

Article creator 3/14/10 71.204.141.254 (talk) 08:38, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's generally well-done, but I agree with the tag re tone, it reads like a PR brochure. Some phrases that jumped out:

* engaging and intimate thought on food production, relationships, and life itself

* visionaries

* reconnecting to the land

* one of the most progressive voices of sustainable agriculture

* over 27 years of hands-on experience

* acclaimed Language of flavor seminars

* new, fun, fresh relationship with their produce--SPhilbrick T 15:06, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

virtual tuning

Hi there

This is the first article I've written, so happy to hear any positive or negative feedback you might have, and whether or not I need to get more citations etc...

I've already had about 100 virtual tuning artists review the page, and add content and modify bits and pieces, and a discussion was had on the biggest virtual tuning forum about who should be on the top 10 list (that's cited in the article). Without any further ado, the page in question is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_tuning

Basically, this is a whole element of car modification which haven't yet been covered on Wikipedia (well, not the English speaking one at least... - the Czech Wikipedia even has a page for it http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_tuning). —Preceding unsigned comment added by Automotive Designz (talk • contribs) 10:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have some familiarity with this due to my interest in one model of car popular with young people, so I do understand that this is an important topic for many people. That being said, what you really need for this article are some verifiable references from reliable sources, which is to say you need to find some discussion of this subject in newspapers or magazines (rather than forums, blogs or fan sites). Nuujinn (talk) 22:57, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

David Taborn - new article

Hello, I'd appreciate feedback with my first article, about artist David Taborn. It's at User:AnnaHillier/sandbox. Thank you AnnaHillier (talk) 14:29, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's a fair start, but the main issues are notability and references. A quick Google search has convinced me he probably does satisfy WP:N, but you need to assert exactly how he is notable more clearly in the article, with citations from reliable third-party sources (your three references are currently a commercial gallery's blurb about the artist, a link to one picture in a national collection, and an obituary of another individual that makes two passing references to Taborn). Have a look at the criteria at WP:ARTIST, which will help. More prose about Taborn himself and his significant work will make this read like an encyclopaedia article, while at the moment it is a few biographical lines padded out with a list of everywhere he's ever exhibited. Ka renjc 15:58, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much AnnaHillier (talk) 16:29, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Borko Temelkovski

Dear editor,

I would appreciate a review of the page Borko Temelkovski I have recently added to the Wikipedia. He is well known figure in Macedonian post war political arena. He well deserves to be there. Mtemelk (talk) 04:08, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As worthy as he may be, what the article lacks are verifiable sources to establish notability. One of the sources cites appears to be an encyclopedia, and I'm afraid that does not qualify. The other does not seem to be from a verifiable source. What would be helpful would be references from newspaper articles, either paper or online. See if you can find something on Google, or if you have access to Macedonian newspapers, references from those would do, I'm sure. Nuujinn (talk) 01:18, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot. I'll try to dig out some more... Mtemelk (talk) 05:52, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Canon Roger Hooker Memorial TrustBill0zann3 (talk) 11:23, 15 March 2010 (UTC)bill ozanne March 15th 2010

User:Bill0zann3/Canon Roger Hooker Memorial Trust

I fixed the link to the draft
You shouldn't start a sentence with a space - that's why so many of your sentences were in boxes. I've fixed them.
I also did some cleanup, but more is needed.
You should not use the section heading as if it were the start of a paragraph, that style is used some places, but not in Wikipedia.
References are often a challenge for new editors; please read WP:CITE and footnotes for some help.
Most importantly, you need to establish Notability, by showing that this trust is discussed in multiple reliable sources.--SPhilbrick T 13:33, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

HDtracks

HDtracks Annm7 (talk) 21:43, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

MadeinLocal

User:Ifranchino/MadeinLocal

Hello, I'm a new member and this is my first article for Wikipedia. I was hoping for a review as I might be too closely linked to the subject of the article and would like it to be as neutral as possible.

I would appreciate any comments or advice,

Thank you!

Ifranchino (talk) 14:02, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's a very clearly written and well organised article. However, it contains almost no citations from reliable third-party sources at the moment, and thus if moved to articlespace it would probably be proposed for speedy deletion pretty quickly on the grounds that it does not credibly assert MadeinLocal's notability. All the inline citations are from the official website or an associated website, and these are not independent sources. What's needed is some coverage in reliable independent published sources, online or otherwise. Wikipedia's policy on verifiability will help explain what's needed. For example, to corroborate the awards (which will help towards establishing notability) you could try finding and citing coverage of them on the awarding bodies' own websites, rather than on MadeinLocal's site, which doesn't count as a reliable source. The 24H link is your only real external source at present, so it might be worth using it in inline citations rather than as a simple external link, and looking for others like it. (I know it's in a foreign language, which is less than ideal, and if possible you should be looking for some English-language coverage of the website too.) The "Aramis" link doesn't work. Generally the article complies quite well with Wikipedia's policy on neutrality, but statements such as "... the website hopes to generate revenue through the sale of showcases ..." and the info on forthcoming developments and apps steer close to promotional language. I would support all such statements with citations, and peversely, in this case the official website is the best place to cite!

Thank you for declaring your personal interest in the subject. You're probably aware that Wikipedia's conflict of interest guidelines strongly discourage people from creating articles about subjects with which they have a close personal link, and your request for help to produce a neutral article is very much in the spirit of this encyclopaedia. If you can find sufficient good-quality coverage, the article should pass muster. If no such coverage exists yet, it may be a little early for an article on this subject. Ka renjc 22:00, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness

hello

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness is my first wiki article.

i've rewritten it in my user space as per suggestion of one of your editors (ukexpat) who moved much longer initial version of it out of Afd back to my userspace.

ukexpat suggested the following:

Comment: In that case, I think the best thing to do would be to move it back into your user space ("userfy" it) so that you can work on it further. You should also take a look at the tone, construction and flow of articles on similar topics to see how that are written and structure this article similarly. If you are OK with this approach I will happily move it back to user space for you and withdraw this Afd. – ukexpat (talk) 14:06, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I looked at several articles on related topics, and then settled on one which most closely paralleled what i am trying to achieve re giving useful information in my article.

the model article i used is the wiki article on Multiple Intelligences

my article is now virtually the same length as the M Int article, and this despite the M Int article covering ~25 years of soc sci research while mine re Greatness covers over 100 years. I collapsed my summaries of major books into a few short paragraphs each. (eg Cox's book is over 800 pages, Eysenck's is 350 and virtually inaccessible to the lay reader).

I also referenced everything. (except the one specific lulu ref – Dorris (2009) – which I need to get an ok to use as lulu in general is black listed…)

Can you tell me if the current version is ok to resubmit for consideration as wiki article? if not, any suggestions very much appreciated.

AgRince (talk) 14:36, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Joey Kramer Hit Hard

The name of this page is Joey Kramer Hit Hard. User:PaidSaad/Joey Kramer Hit Hard

This page is about the new iPhone application called Hit Hard, from Aerosmith's drummer Joey Kramer. Much like a portable version of rock band or guitar hero, and the application gives away drum related prizes each month to those with high scores.

PaidSaad (talk) 17:20, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The subject is almost certainly notable, but your draft article is pretty much entirely composed of text that has been cut and pasted from other sites, which is not permitted here. The game description comprises most of the article and this is all a straight cut-and-paste quotation - it and the rest of the article need rewriting in your own words in order not to infringe copyright. Other bits of the article come from other websites, which is why the whole article reads like a promotional piece as it stands (pasting in marketing-speak like "gritty, soul-searching book" makes the origin of the prose very obvious, and violates Wikipedia's neutrality guidelines into the bargain). Mr Kramer should be referred to as "Kramer" rather than "Joey" unless it's within a direct quotation - see the Manual of Style. I did a quick Google search and came up with references to the app and reviews of it on several independent sites, so it should be possible to provide some better references. Blogs and forums are not regarded as reliable sources. See Wikipedia:Citing sources for guidance on formatting references. Ka renjc 22:24, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric

This is an article about Steiner Electric Company. There is not a page for them yet and I wanted them to be on Wikipedia since they are a well-known large company. This is my first time making a page on Wikipedia and wanted feedback. I also wanted to know how to make those boxes usually seen on the right hand side of company like pages on Wikipedia. Thanks! 3/16/2010 Lizzard388 (talk) 21:56, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not a horrid start, but needs significant work. I will try to comment here in more detail later. As for the box, look at {{infobox company}}. I hope this helps. DES ^(talk) 00:03, 17 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I tried to work on it more and I added a lot more references and made some links throughout and got my infobox created. If you get a chance to look at it again it would be much appreciated! Thanks. Lizzard388 (talk) 20:56, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Anna Margaret from Starstruck

Hi, I'd like some help on writing an article about Anna Margaret from the Disney original movie Starstruck. I need more info and sources so if you can please check out my userspace draft and if there's anything you think I should add, let me know.

Here is the link: User:JRsingersongwriter/Anna Margaret

JRsingersongwriter —Preceding unsigned comment added by JRsingersongwriter (talk • contribs) 02:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Simon Johnson

I would like to request feedback on this article User:Olgpa/Simon_Johnson_(security_consultant) . I've added a couple of references there that I think are reliable enough, and the person is rather notable in his area of expertise. Please let me know if you think that the article is ready to be put online. Thank you. Olgpa (talk) 08:42, 17 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Forgotten International

Hello,

When I moved this incomplete article it was deleted immediately for violating the notability criteria. I added 3 references now but haven't figured out how have it technically correct yet, neither did I figure out how to categorize correctly (sorry, i'm just learning -1st time). I might be adding 3 more sentences to the body of the article, but otherwise it is mostly done. Please let me know whether I you can review it now and let me know what changes to apply or whether I should ask for feedback when I'm completely ready.

Thanks a lot in advance.

Regards,

Kristina Pomothyova 03-18-10 —Preceding unsigned comment added by Theforgottenintl (talk • contribs) 07:22, 18 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think those references amount to the significant coverage in reliable sources required to demonstrate notability. Please take a look at WP:ORG and WP:RS for the type of references that are required. – ukexpat (talk) 14:03, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Amenity Infrastructure

Hi WikiHelpers, I tried to follow the instructions as precisely as possible, but I seem to have a box surrounding my article first sentence under Amenity Infrastructure. Also, my reference to Catherine Spellman's book (see bottom of article), did not properly link. Could someone take a look and let me know what I did wrong? Thanks so much. Renata Hejduk —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rhejduk (talk • contribs) 21:43, 18 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You simply added a space before the text, so it shows up as code, like this:

See?

Hope that answers your question.

—Akrabbim^talk 21:55, 18 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I changed the title of this question to link to the article.

I fixed the misplaced space and your reference rendering problem, and removed all the trademark signs (Wikipedia doesn't use them: see WP:TRADEMARK. I removed the "unreviewed article" tag and replaced with a "multiple issues" tag. This is because the article has urgent issues. It seems to be about a trademarked phrase under which its inventor is marketing his products. It's not yet a commonly used term in architecture, planning or design, and if he's hoping to keep the rights to it by trademarking it, it's unlikely to become one. I am considering proposing the article for deletion on the grounds of insufficient notability. However, the external links you have provided - which need formatting correctly - do suggest that the architect himself may be notable and "Amenity Infrastructure" has been mentioned by a small number of independent third-party sources in association with the inventor, so there is borderline notability there although I don't think Amenity Infrastructure can stand alone as an article at present. I would strongly suggest that you consider moving this content to userspace, requesting deletion of the Amenity Infrastructure page remaining after the move, and rewriting it all as an article about Darren Petrucci himself, with the "Amenity Infrastructure" content as part of the page, and with more references. Once you have a viable article on Mr Petrucci in articlespace, the Amenity Infrastructure page can be re-created as a redirect to his article until such time as it becomes notable in its own right, if it does. If you would like help to do this, feel free to ask me on my talk page. Otherwise, the article will probably be nominated for deletion shortly. Ka renjc 11:28, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wes Jones

[[19]] Just looking for a review / gen. feedback. Skparch (talk) 22:14, 18 March 2010 (UTC)skparch[reply]

The article has serious issues around tone and citations at present. It reads very much like a marketing blurb, with many unsupported statements and value judgements about Mr Jones, his various companies and his work (for example, "a leading architectural voice of his generation"; "the firm’s international reputation for technologically inspired work"). Almost none of the information is referenced, and this needs addressing or it may be removed without discussion by other editors. You do appear to have asserted the subject's notability (by listing his prizes and awards, and asserting that he has had a major influence on his field of work, etc.) but you now need to support this information with citations, otherwise it does not meet Wikipedia's criterion of verifiability. There are several quotations from Jones about his personal views and philosophy of architecture, possibly too many, and they need sourcing specifically or removing. There are quite a few passing references to other architects and writers, and these should be Wikilinked on the first use to these individuals' Wikipedia articles (if they have them) to assist users with navigation. The article could do with being in a couple more categories, but not Category:Architecture firms based in California because it's about the man, not the company. I'll tag the article accordingly. Ka renjc 10:30, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

James Curnock

User:Smallbird22/James Curnock

Could someone please review this article on this British Artist, thanks. It's my first article.

Smallbird22 (talk) 06:26, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sure. It's a decent start, but what you really need are some verifiable sources from newspapers, books or magazines. It could use some more text as well, perhaps fill out a section with biographical info and then a second section on his art? Nuujinn (talk) 23:42, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ken Rutkowski

User:Olgpa/Ken_Rutkowski
User:Olgpa/Simon_Johnson_(entrepreneur)

Would love to know your thoughts on the above articles. Thank you. Olgpa (talk) 10:42, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

FIXatdl

FIXatdl is a protocol used to communicate information relating to algorithmic trades. Version 1.1 of the protocol is being launched by securities industry standards body FIX Protocol Limited on March 23, 2010.

SCWilkinson (talk) 17:32, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

STREET SPIRIT

Article name STREET SPIRIT. [[20]]

I would like feedback on this article. I want it to go live as well, if all is in sufficiently notable.

Chalkboardstyle 08:42, 20 March 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Chalkboardstyle (talk • contribs)

It is a nice start, the main suggestion I have is that the article is too promotional in content and tone. Youtube isn't considered a reliable source, so you should probably lose those references. The list of external references should probably be trimmed to just his home page, listing five personal sites implies this is intended to promote him.

Also, the format of your references needs some clean up, see WP:Cite Web for a good simple template. I took the liberty of cleaning up the IMA references as an example. You don't need a manually formated reference section, the REFLIST will take care of that for you. Let me know if you have any questions. Nuujinn (talk) 11:28, 20 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Actually that's WP:CITE. – ukexpat (talk) 18:57, 20 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback on South Jordan, Utah

This is my first big rewrite of an article. The article had a cleanup tag on for 2 1/2 years. I'd like some suggestions and criticisms... My writing is like the driving of a very drunk person, so any help would be welcome.03:41, 21 March 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bgwhite (talk • contribs)

When you leave messages, please remember to "sign" your name, by putting ~~~~ (four tilde signs) at the end. This will add your name, and the date and time. You can also do this by clicking the 'sign' button, pictured here.

I am unable to access the website given as ref 22, http://www.countyfair.slco.org/
In "Transportation", the wikilink to frontrunner seems to point to an incorrect location
Units of measure should use non-breaking spaces; some do, some do not. For example, in "Geography" it has 4,300 feet (1,310 m) - the best solution is to use conversion templates; in this case, you could use {{convert|4300|ft|m}} - producing the code 4,300 feet (1,300 m), displaying as 4,300 feet (1,300 m). Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers)
In "Bus crash", 100 feet lacks a conversion
All references that include a URL, such as Casualty Toll in Bus Tragedy Mounts to 24, require an access date.
The list, Famous people, should be in alphabetic order.
Reference 3, U.S. Census Bureau - 2008 population estimate, does not have a 'citation' template, and therefore looks different in style to other references
3.5 miles (5.6 km) section of the Jordan River Parkway... - sentences should not begin with numerals. In this case, it could perhaps be A 3.5 mile (5.6 km) section of the Jordan River Parkway... (This is an example; there are others in the article, e.g. "67-acre (27 ha) Oquirrh Lake sits inside")
The Branch consisted of just 9 families. - numbers under 10 should be written out in words - "nine families".(Example only; others include "2 high schools")
Ensure that dates are formatted consistently; currently, for example, in "Twentieth century" it says incorporate on 8 November 1935, but in "Bus crash" it says occurred on Thursday, December 1, 1938, at approximately...
moving his family along the Jordan River, at about 9000 South - I do not know what '9000 South' is (and later, 12500 South) - presumably it is some kind of mapping region - could this be clarified?
You might consider adding page references to the book sources - it would certainly help with ref 13, for example. There are a few ways to do it - I quite like harvard-style references; for an example, see the notes and references sections in Marco Polo. If you need help with it, give me a shout.

I've made a few copyedits; nothing much, and please take it as suggestions - check them over. I suggest that you get a peer review, with a view to moving it to good article status. Cheers! Chzz ► 16:16, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Musical ear

User:Kostelf/Musical ear

Hello. I've created my first wiki article. Not sure if it should be a separate article or under Ear Training, but I felt there was a need for a page to present information about musical talent. Probably it's a stub. Thanks for the feedback.

Kostelf (talk) 13:30, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The phrase 'musical ear' sounds a little strange - like an 'ear that plays music'; I think that 'an ear for music' is the more common expression?

At the moment, the article is very short, and might be considered just a dictionary definition - which is not acceptable. I think that you need to be very careful of original research, particularly synthesis, with this topic.

Avoid contractions - instead of "There's" you should put "There is".

I am not sure that the external link is appropriate; they should be "further research that is accurate and on-topic, information that could not be added to the article for reasons such as copyright or amount of detail" (WP:EL) - blog sites rarely meet these requirements.

The biggest problem that you face with a topic like this (ie something rather ephemeral) is sticking to hard facts referenced to reliable sources, rather than introducing opinion; it might be possible to make such an article, but it is always a challenge.

I hope that this feedback is constructive, and gives you ideas - please do not be downhearted by the criticism; I sincerely hope that you will add more to Wikipedia. Best, Chzz ► 11:45, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Random Soul Theory

Hi there,

Why did you not like my definition of the Random Soul Theory?

In my opinion a new theory should be taken seriously and be analyzed with an open mind.

After studying and researched this topic in many different cultures I have reached the conclusion that a theory can be interpreted in many different ways.

Please give me feedback of why you don't like my theory.

Thanks in advance.

Regards, Espen —Preceding unsigned comment added by Espen Marthinsen (talk • contribs) 14:55, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

According to the deletion log it was deleted because there was not enough context to identify article's subject and because it appeared to be a test page. – ukexpat (talk) 15:40, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Also, do bear in mind that Wikipedia does not publish original research, and that includes new theories. It may well be a good idea to take new theories seriously and analyze them with an open mind, but Wikipedia is not the right forum for this process, because it only accepts articles on subjects that have already had sufficient meaningful coverage elsewhere to render them notable. Ka renjc 15:04, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Iman Shumpert

Iman Shumpert: Basketball player for Georgia Tech, currently playing in 2010 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Guru120/Iman_Shumpert --Guru120 (talk) 16:46, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please use inline references.

Click "show" to learn how to properly cite sources using footnotes.

A "source", also called a "reference", should generally be "cited" using footnotes. Wikipedia uses a special feature to automatically generate footnotes with the help of two "tags", <ref> and </ref>. Anything placed between the two tags will generate a footnote, which appears in the text as ^[1]. This method of using "inline citations" is useful because it allows the reader to easily see which source supports which statement. To cite a source using this method, you need two parts:

The two tags:

<ref> </ref>

A "References" section at the end of the article with the code {{reflist}}, which is able to generate a list of footnotes based on what is placed between the two tags:

==References==
{{reflist}}

An example:

Wikipedia was created by Jimbo Wales.<ref>Jones, Michael (2008). The History of Wikipedia. Publishing Company, Inc.</ref>

== References ==
{{reflist}}

which results in:

Wikipedia was created by Jimbo Wales.^[1]

== References ==

^ Jones, Michael (2008). The History of Wikipedia. Publishing Company, Inc.

Also, please be careful about using non-neutral language. For example, He is recognized as a versatile guard who has the skills to play both the point and the wing and is excellent defender - whilst these 'facts' may be supported by the reference, it is important to write in a neutral, encyclopaedic manner. I am not sure if the 'georgia tech' site would qualify as a reliable source - assuming for a moment that it was, then perhaps it could be phrased as e.g. Georgia tech declare him a "versatile guard who has the skills to play both the point and the wing [...an] Excellent defender"<ref>[http://ramblinwreck.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/shumpert_iman00.html Official website of Georgia Tech Athletics]</ref>

Chzz ► 12:36, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alex Henshall

Hi,

I have just finished creating my first wikipedia article, is an article for a football (soccer) player currently playing for Swindon Town called Alex Henshall. As this is my first page that I have created I am eager to get some feedback on it and see what I can improve on in any future entries that I create.

Thank you and I await your helpful feedback.

wikilink - Alex Henshall

Skullage (talk) 22:12, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

An excellent first article; well done. Some suggestions;

Don't link England - it is a form of overlinking.
You could make the references clearer. For example, at the moment you have;

<ref>http://www.swindontownfc.co.uk/page/ProfilesDetail/0,,10341~49604,00.html</ref>

...which looks like this in the references section;

^ http://www.swindontownfc.co.uk/page/ProfilesDetail/0,,10341~49604,00.html

...if, instead, you were to put this;

<ref>[http://www.swindontownfc.co.uk/page/ProfilesDetail/0,,10341~49604,00.html Swindon Town F.C. Official website]</ref>

...then it would look like this;

^ Swindon Town F.C. Official website

You could expand the first section (known as the lede - this should be a summary of the whole article.
I suggest removing the level-2 heading == Career ==, and changing the level-3 headings "Early days", "Swindon Town" and "England Under-16" to level 2; it seems unnecessary to have the additional level for an article of this size.
As with almost all articles, the referencing could be improved. It helps greatly if you can add information from good, independent reliable sources, such as newspaper articles. A good place to start looking is by searching Google News archives like this

I hope that helps. Chzz ► 13:26, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Silver Star Families of America

Request assistance and opinions on The Silver Star Service Banner.

[[21]]

I have a conflict of interest and I want the article to be unbiased and factual

Plus I am new

Smile

Thank you all and God bless

Steven1969 (talk) 00:59, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

An interesting topic. One question would be whether or not this should be incorporated into Service Flag, which as it stands now is pretty short. That would be the best way to go, I think, since it mitigates some potential problems. The prose in your article does need some work, and it could use some additional verifiable and reliable sources. It needs a lead, but that's easy to start by breaking apart the first two sections with a section heading. Let me know if you want any help, Nuujinn (talk) 10:53, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Institute of Photogrammetry and GeoInformation (IPI), Hannover, Germany

Institute of Photogrammetry and GeoInformation (IPI), Hannover, Germany 67.186.0.165 (talk) 06:52, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scottish Slimmers

Scottish Slimmers Yvette Rayner 22 Mar 10 Yvetterayner (talk) 12:18, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At least one part of this article was copied directly from a copyrighted source; I removed that with this edit. Please be very careful not to introduce copyrighted material to Wikipedia. Chzz ► 13:42, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Much of the article does not conform to a neutral point of view - it is written like an advertisement. For example, Scottish Slimmers provides sensible and healthy weight loss for those who choose to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle - whilst the company may well claim to do this, it is not an independently verifiable fact. Language such as Positive Eating allows members to get slim and stay slim without feeling isolated or deprived. does not belong in a Wikipedia article.
It’s usual for members to experience a faster rate of weight loss in the first two weeks - any strong assertions like this must have an independent reliable source, otherwise they must be removed. Chzz ► 13:46, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not surprising as Yvette Rayner appears to be responsible for marketing at Scottish Slimmers. – ukexpat (talk) 17:13, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Praecipio Consulting

User:Briannunnery/Praecipio Consulting

I would appreciate feedback on this article.

Best, Brian Nunnery · EMAIL ADDRESS REMOVED Chzz ► 16:57, 22 March 2010 (UTC) · —Preceding unsigned comment added by Briannunnery (talk • contribs) 16:00, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

No reliable sources to show company meets WP:ORG. --NeilN ^{talk to me} 17:01, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)

User talk:Aerialfirefan/National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)

Aerialfirefan (talk) 05:37, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi this is my first article. Can you please give me some feedback. Thanks!!! Aerialfirefan (talk) 07:31, 7 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sarus (Goth)

To Whom It May Concern

This is my first article. There were several links to a disambiguation page but no article as such, so I made it as I have a good knowledge of the subject. However I have several problems, most of which I've already posted on Talk:Sarus (Goth) but to summarise:

I need help with wording, I think some of mine is quite awkward, maybe a bit POV or purple-prosey (esp. conclusion);
I don't currently have access to (my) secondary sources apart from what's on the net. I don't think this is a huge problem because mentions of the subject are so scattered anyway but help would be appreciated;
Tribal and clan aspects of the subject - I feel unqualified for this aspect because of prejudice and ignorance;
The primary sources are pretty messed up, though I doubt there's anything much anyone can do to help on this one :-) but more viewpoints on interpretation are welcome;
Other specific problems probably best left for discussion page once more knowledgeable people than I come in.

Thank you in advance for your time and effort.

Jmullaly (talk) 09:19, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Congratulations on an excellent start. Yes, the tone can be tweaked and there may be some more sources, including those checkable online, which would improve it further, but it's a perfectly respectable short article now and far, far better than the vast majority of first articles, with hatnote, categories and links to other articles all present and correct in addition to the content itself. I would suggest you tag the article's talk page with appropriate Wikiproject tags - would those on Talk:Sigeric and Talk:Ataulf also apply to Sarus? - and this will attract the attention of Wikipedians with an interest in the subject, who may be able to address the content and sourcing issues you've raised. An image would be nice too, if possible. Thank you for making this interesting article, and happy editing. Ka renjc 17:06, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I agree that it's a good start. A couple of additional points: you should work the material in the Conclusions section into the rest of the article. Encyclopedia articles do not have conclusions, and such sections are usually the hallmark of a term paper or an essay. You should also break down the article into more sections. Shorter sections are much more easy on the eye than one long paragraph. I have also fixed the heading levels - main sections are heading level 2, and I removed the stub templates - this is far from a stub. – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you both. Karen, the problem with the sources is they're horrible, scattered, confusing, incestuous and hard to interpret - not that they're few. I've actually included all but one that exist. The secondary literature suffers from many of the same problems. I've added some categories to attract specialists - thanks, I was using the stubs for that. I don't know if I can find an image of Sarus, maybe a generic Goth will do - a big, hairy one with a huge sword and a wolfskin cloak. Sarus was not a temperate or reassuring man. Ukexpat I will take your advice, thanks.

Another thing occurs to me - as is, the article is very disjointed, partly due to the sources. The man pops up here and there for a brief period, in some small and large events, then disappears. By following the links a user can get the backstory, but should I include more of it in the article to make it smoother and more comprehensible? --Jmullaly (talk) 23:04, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Anything you can do to improve the flow and readability, I guess in marketingspeak you would call it "the reader experience", would be good. – ukexpat (talk) 20:52, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

NPPL (UK National Private Pilots License)

A new page for the National Private Pilots License (NPPL) User:Mobilesense/National_Private_Pilot_Licence

It's my first new page on Wikipedia, so be gentle ;)

It is intended that this be linked from the existing and extremely comprehensive page on Pilot_licensing_in_the_United_Kingdom as being the first level of UK license.

As a new student to flying in the UK, I found the information about NPPL confusing, inconsistent and difficult to uncover. I have assembled the key facts into a single page and shown supporting references where possible/relevant.

While the NPPL covers two categories (aeroplanes and self-launching gliders/powered handgliders), I've concentrated on the aeroplane aspects as a start.

Mobilesense (talk) 09:57, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scottish Slimmers

I see that my page was deleted however I do not understand why as I complied with advice given by removing promotional phrases and including more reliable citations. I do have a conflict of interest but I believe I have complied with the guidance but would appreciate more information if possible. Thank you.

Yvette Rayner 23 March

Yvetterayner (talk) 10:44, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It was deleted because it was still an advertisement masquerading as an article. You can ask the admin who deleted it (User:Anthony Appleyard) if he would undelete it to your userspace so you can work on it there at your own pace; or you can request that someone else create the article by heading over to Articles for Creation and following the instructions there. – ukexpat (talk) 13:47, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I cannot see how to contact the admin who deleted it. Am I OK to try again? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Yvetterayner (talk • contribs) 11:34, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I replied on your talk page. – ukexpat (talk) 14:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Andersenman/Connichi

Hello,

I have created an article in my userspace about one of the few big, if not biggest, anime convention of Germany, User:Andersenman/Connichi. I am writing as an insider so I am somewhat struggling to find actually published references to, or by, "reliable sources" (although I am not revealing any "secret" interna) to make it entirely verifiable. This is my first article. I am looking forward to reading your responses. Thanks. Andersenman (talk) 13:22, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

ajuda

sera que um sheik poderia ajudar para meu trabalho,dar uma cotribuição <email address removed> —Preceding unsigned comment added by 201.62.129.235 (talk) 13:58, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You're asking for someone to give you feedback, but the only edits from your IP address have been to this page, so we can't see which article you want us to comment on. I have removed your email address to protect your privacy; queries on this page are answered here, not by email. Ka renjc 17:17, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looking for feedback

Hey, looking for a review/feedback for the followig article: The Marionettes Chorale

Cheers, Larasister (talk) 16:33, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, this is very well-referenced! I think the legibility of the article would be improved by cutting down on the lists somewhat - for example, the article has

the Chorale also completed non-competitive tours in the Caribbean (Curaçao, Grenada, St Vincent, Barbados, Jamaica), and in North America and Central America (New York, Toronto, Montreal, Miami, Philadelphia[7] Washington DC, and Costa Rica).

While the level of detail is commendable, encyclopedias have a degree of superficiality in them and every stop on a tour, in my view, doesn't add much as much information for the curious reader as it hurts the flow and thus the legibility of the sentence. I would suggest something more like this:

the Chorale also completed non-competitive tours in throughout Caribbean, in many major North American cities, and in Costa Rica.

This is purely a stylistic suggestion, however, and others might disagree. --YixilTesiphon ^Talk_Contribs 19:34, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I would tend to agree with you. Also, the list of awards should he pared down to the major prizes, ie wins, otherwise it is in danger of becoming too promotional. Also the list of external links is way too long. Any that are already used as references should be removed and the rest reviewed in light of the external links guideline. – ukexpat (talk) 20:32, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I also created a redirect at Marionettes Chorale. – ukexpat (talk) 20:36, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Virgin Media Pioneers

I'd really appreciate you having a look at User:P4parrot/VirginMediaPioneers. This is the first time I've written a wiki articleso any feedback's appreciated.

Virgin Media Pioneers is a new video-blogging n=community for young entrepreneurs.

Thanks,

P4parrot (talk) 16:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed the link in your request so it would work properly.

The problem with the article at present is that it contains no independent third-party references; every citation links to the official website or to other sites affiliated with it. This means that if the article goes live now, it will probably be nominated for deletion on the grounds that it fails Wikipedia's notability and/or verifiability tests. Since the subject of the article only launched a couple of weeks ago, this is hardly surprising. You need to find credible independent coverage of VirginMediaPioneers, and cite it in the article, before it will be ready for articlespace. Ka renjc 19:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much will definitely update that P4parrot (talk) 11:27, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Robert Kozma

This is a request for feedback for the page created on Robert Kozma. He is a highly experienced professor at the University of Memphis and Director of several projects that are of interest to the scientific world. I am a third party creating this page and therefore have kept an unbias tone. Thank you for your help. Helios Kirk (talk) 13:49, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, you need to establish WP:N since this is a biography of a living person. To do that you need to get some reference from reliable and verifiable sources. Easiest way to do that would be to google in the news section for newspaper and magazine articles. I think the tone is still a bit too promotional, and the lists should probably be reworked into narrative paragraphs. Good start tho, but don't waste time getting references--this is in main space and BLPs get pretty severe scrutiny. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Regarding the entry on Chen Chimutengwende

Dear friends,

I see that you do not have enough information on Chen Chimtengwende. I hereby paste for your use.

Extended content

Name: Chen Chimutengwende

Date of Birth: 28 August, 1943

     Marital Status:	Married